You start hearing voices. They all want you to do things, but ultimately you decide to do what you wanna do. Which is to explicitly not listen to them. Looking back at the media you've consumed in the past: people who hear voices in their heads usually have bad stuff happen to them whenever they follow the voice's advice or do the opposite. It may be within your best interest to do something about the voices in your head.
QUEST ADDED:
TREPANNING FOR GOLD
Do Something About The Voices In Your Head.
Progress: 0% Completion
MADNESS is something common within your family. Just look at your sisters, your parents, Great Grandma Harriet, and the great Viking Lord Löthær the Village Burner. Lately your MADNESS has manifested itself in the form of HELPFUL ADVICE. You don't need the advice, and you aren't entirely sure if it is all "helpful". It could always be DEMONS.
Rewards: "Autonomy By Lobotomy" Trait, +2 Guile
Oh, your GAMER skills have added a Side Quest to your MENTAL DIARY. Lately you've been spending a lot of time playing RPG's at night before bedtime and it may have had some lasting effects on your psyche. But whatever, you aren't a psychologist, so what do you know?
You figure it's probably within your best interest to see who is knocking on your door. That and you actually do kinda like your sisters, but you'd never say that out loud because then they'll walk all over you.
With a heave you move the bag of laundry a little bit back and a hand reaches from the crack, perfectly manicured yet weirdly calloused hands reach in to try and scoop your eyeballs out of their sockets. A familiar voice screeches out, "DANG IT, TWERP! I KNEW YOU WERE IN THERE! LET ME IN SO I CAN-" You quickly slide the [Chocolate Bar] into Lori's hands, "GIVE YOU A BIG HUG!"
Your KARMA has increased, for some weird reason. Maybe being nice to lonely people makes you look good to the SYSTEM. You're now at (KARMA: 0 "Totes_Neutral"), and the Code BURNT ORANGE has been settled. For now.
You open the door and Lori steps in.
Lori "The Queen of No" Loud
Your eldest sister. Currently spending the summer in Royal Woods. She goes to Golf University, or something. She doesn't have a whole lot of friends besides Carol and her dormmate Marisa. Back in Middle School she used to be a HUGE NERD but in High School she started CLEANING HER FACE and FLOSSING, which ballooned her POPULARITY PRESTIGE. You can learn things from her, but at the cost of your time. Unfortunately the skills she has to teach are incredibly useless. Oh, and her boyfriend Bobby is pretty cool.
The door slams as the weight of the dirty clothes bag buckles down on it. Lori takes a moment to tear the wrapper off the chocolate bar and devours it with a ravenous hunger and sits on your bed. "Good to know your little room hasn't changed too much-" She spies your small [Vintage Game Setup], "Is that my GS-2?"
You inform her that you have her old memory cards locked up in a safe and that you haven't touched them.
"Good. Because then I would kill you." Lori threw the wrapper over her shoulder and got up to give you a backbreaking hug, "Also: if you get any bigger I'm Literally taking a bonesaw to your knees." She broke the hug to give you a noogie and winces, "Ouch! Ha! Your skull is a lot harder than I remembered," She gave your head three knocks and laughed, "So-" She placed her fists on her hips and gave you a mocking smile, "What is the Man With The Plan going to do with his summer? Burn RWMS down in an act of revenge?"
You feel as though Lori is projecting on you but you wave that thought away. You inform her that you just plan on Taking It Easy this Summer Vacation, taking on more support roles and seeing what all your friends are up to, maybe helping out to gain some More Money.
"Well, if it's Money your after I can give Grandpa Leonard a call-" Lori mused as she leafed through your [Sketchbook], "Apparently the Burger Blast Corporate Team Building Camp left the grounds of Camp Mastodon a Literal cesspool. Me, Bobby, and Carol are swinging by this Thursday to help clean up the place so it's ready by Saturday. That'll be 200 dollars with your name on it if you help out." She gave you the details through her phone and you added it to your Calendar App.
QUEST ADDED:
Burger Blast-Zone Clean Up
Help Grandpa Leonard Get The Camp Ready For Summer
Progress: Wait Until Wednesday Night
Honestly, this Quest is probably more trouble than what it's worth. You'll be spending 2 days of your Summer Vacation doing Chores and you'll have to deal with Lori, Bobby, and Carol. You're no stranger to cleaning up other people's MESSES, at least you weren't the one who trashed Camp Mastodon THIS TIME. Looking back: you probably OWE Grandpa Leonard.
Rewards: "Fisherman's Blessing: St. Elmo's Fire", +1 KARMA, 200 Dollars, +1 Body
You let her know that you're in. Tentatively. Something might come up, she should know how it is.
"I don't know how it is, Twerp-'' Lori smirked, "But suuuure, I'll let Grandpa Leonard know-" Her eyes slit when she saw your phone, "I-is that the Nebula Flop 3 in CERULEAN SEA-BREEZE?" She let out a hum and nodded with pursed lips, "Good taste, dork." She ruffled your hair before slinging the [Oversized Laundry Bag] over her shoulder, "Welp- I have literally a metric ton of Laundry I need to do. Might as well do yours too. No need to thank me," From the tone of her voice you deduce that you probably should thank her, so you do, "Ha!" She opened the door and spoke over her shoulder, "This is literally just a drop in the bucket. Hit me up on Messenger if you need anything. Don't be a stranger, twerp."
You gain SKY-BLUE PRESTIGE from handling this Sister Interaction so well. You can almost feel the light weight of a crown around your temples, soon "THE_KING_OF_NO" will claim the throne.
(What happens when THE_MAGICIAN changes his WAND for a SCEPTER?)
The door closed. The barricade is gone. It's only a matter of time until someone breaks your door down and you just ran out of [Chocolate Bars] for the GUILE BOOST. It's time to Get Out There. You don't really mind talking to your sisters all that much, but you feel like you NEED to have the upper hand in making sure they don't Flip Their Lids and start a Sisternado. What you want to do right now is to find some place to Check Your Phone and figure out what you want to do for the day.
You quickly glance at the Armoire and withdraw the [Plaid Shirt], it's not really that cold outside. You gain +1 BODY from the thick Fire and Blade proof fabric, inside one of your pockets is your [Rip Hardcore Multi-Tool]. You quickly check to see if your [Phone], [Wallet & Coin Purse], and [Keys] are in your pockets and think about what you should grab before jumping out the second story window like a deranged madman.
You quickly scan the room and throw your [Daniel Steele Black Box Cellphone Blocker], [Snap Mini], and [Cellphone Charger] into your backpack. If only because you feel kinda weird just leaving all of that stuff out, you don't really need Lily sneaking on your [Snap] and completely destroying your Critter Crossing Village again. The [Grappling Hook] might be useful but you really need to Talk To Darebot in order to update its firmware. You'd ask Lisa but you don't really have anything To Trade her with besides your time, you do have [A Sixer of Motor Oil] for Darebot underneath your bed. But he's out on a Riverboat Gambling Cruise with Kotaro and Grant for the week.
So that means Lisa's Bunker should be empty. You quickly open the window and scan the immediate premises. Luna and The Moon Goats are practicing so it should be easy to slip away with the noise. Leni is in the backyard with Miguel and Fiona, you can hear the High frequencies of their voices over the crushing Bass of Mazzy's drums. They'll probably want to talk to you unless you can make a distraction. Which you can.
You successfully made it onto the roof of the garage, remembering not to back-flip like Daniel Steele does (that's usually what gets you to sprain an ankle). It took a couple times to perfect the move, and Mr. Grouse doesn't call the cops on you about it anymore. Luckily your "Sleuth" and "Agent" is naturally high enough to pull off a maneuver like that, and the extra padding from the shirt doesn't cause your arms to get all serrated from rolling on the roof.
That was pretty cool. You brush off dust from your shirt and look to see if anyone has caught you yet. You grimace when you see someone on the street recording you on their phone, but luckily it wasn't one of your Sisters. It's Boy Jordan!
Boy Jordan "The Snapper with the Swagger" Ketcham
Boy Jordan is in your class. He is a member of the Photography Club and is a pretty cool guy. You've learned a lot about PHOTOGRAPHY from him, this is kinda important seeing as you're a member of the Action News Team so you need a good handle on AESTHETICS and SENSIBILITIES in order to get ahead. Also, his boyfriend Andrew is pretty cool. You wonder if Andrew calls Boy Jordan "Boyfriend Jordan".
He flashes you a thumbs up and drives off on his bike after uploading the video onto InstaGraph. You glance at your phone and see that he tagged you in the video and you feel as though your POPULARITY PRESTIGE has gone up, but have no way of knowing for sure. You'd probably need to ask someone more popular than you.
With another hop you land on the grass, being careful not to get too close to the outside walls of the garage because you don't really want to step into Charles or Lana's pee. Having only one bathroom in the house is kind of troubling, but the idea of having to stare down Mr. Grouse as you take a leak outside gives you an incredible amount of anxiety.
You take a peek behind the garage to see Leni, Fiona, and Miguel all reclining on folded out garden lawn-chairs. Fiona was idly tapping on her phone with a glass of lemonade in one hand. Miguel was also tapping on his phone, he was switching between howling with laughter and yelling with anger as he swiped through his timeline. Leni had her sunglasses on and a wide floppy hat and was reading a book.
You notice a bottle of tanning oil that was open to the side, they were sunbathing. But in their regular clothes, no bikinis or speedo. This kind of drives you mad.
You approach the three of them and demand to know what they are doing.
"What?" Miguel rolled his eyes, "You live under a rock or something, kid?" He pulled back the sleeve of his white V-neck and smirked, "Tanlines are in. You would know this if you weren't such a nork."
Miguel "The Adonis with the Sourness" Puga
Miguel is Leni's friend. He works at the mall and is currently taking classes at Royal Woods Community College. He's technically the heir to the Puga designer label since his two uncles never adopted. Recently got a modeling gig through Lola and now his oiled-up body graces billboards and marquees around Royal Woods. He is actually kinda cool, but has a tendency to tease you. You should probably learn how to not take things so personally.
You demand to know what a Nork is and if Miguel is allowed to say it.
"It means that you're a nerd and a dork but not worth the air it takes for 2 syllables, nork," Fiona sighed and shoved her phone back into her pants before shaking her head, "You wanna see me in a bikini that bad, you little perv-"
Fiona "The Marquise Tease" Schenker
Fiona is Leni's friend. She works at the mall and is going to Great Lakes City University after the summer. She's the daughter of the lead guitarist from this band from Germany. Fiona is mean to you. Probably because you're an annoying little nerdy dork. But she doesn't really think you're that annoying, you should probably learn to take little jabs in stride. She has a tendency to bring out the worst of you.
Through gritted teeth you inform her that the age difference is kind of a turn-off and that if you wanted to scope out grandma's you'd go visit Lynn's Table during Senior Brunch on Monday mornings.
"What?" Fiona jumped out of her chair and stomped towards you, "What did you just say?"
"Oh, lighten up, Fiona." Leni sighed and put her book down, she was reading Advanced Lockpicking Theory by Dr. C. Rook, kind of troubling, "You two totes went after him first, if you can't take the heat get out of the breakfast nook."
Leni "Leni!" Loud
It's your sister, Leni! She's taking online courses next year for Fashion University or something. So you don't really have to worry about a Leni-less house for a while. She has a lot of friends, and 0 enemies. You kind of wonder how she's able to have such a high POPULARITY PRESTIGE and not gain any HATERS. Maybe if you bother her enough you might learn something.
"Whatever." Fiona got out of your face and flicked your forehead before slamming her stupid big butt back onto the chair, "You got a reason for bothering us, Lincoln? We don't have all day."
You just wanted to know about the sunbathing thing. You scratch the back of your head and apologize for being a jerk, it wasn't very nice of you.
"Okay-" Miguel sighed and put his phone down again, "Stop. Being a jerk is cool, it'll get you ladies. And it's Summer Vacation, you Welanket-" That probably means wet-blanket, "Precisely. Just… you gotta take life-" Miguel made a motion in the air like he was holding up two melons, "By the cheeks."
"Nooooo. He doesn't." Fiona rolled her eyes, "The only thing this dork has going for him is that he's polite. Most of the time." She socked Miguel in the arm and he winced, "Quit trying to make him into a Mini-Miguel."
You don't really think you'd look good in a V-Neck.
"Hm." Leni tilted her head and lowered her sunglasses to look at you, "You've totes got the collarbones for it…" She quickly shook her head and grimaced, "But I don't want my precious little baby brother to grow up to be Miguel." She pinched your cheek and waved your face around, "Nuuuumber one baaaaby boy!" Her giggle turned into an out-of-character hiss, "We totes don't need you to turn into a heartbreaker like Miguel."
"Okay. Let's-" Fiona gingerly took Leni's hand from your face and calmed her down by brushing her hair, "Remember that Miguel can't exactly help that he's gay."
"He STILL could've taken Mandee to Prom!" Leni turned her head to scream at Miguel who could only stare at his phone in fear, "Now all my friends are fighting again!"
QUEST ADDED:
Which One Was Mandee Again?
High School Sounds Like It's Going To Suck
Progress: 10%
Apparently Leni's friends are fighting again and instead of being depressed about it Leni has decided to be a bit more vocal with her displeasure. In order for her not to bring her BAD VIBES into the house you might want to think about Meddling In Her Affairs. Maybe set Mandee up with a rebound or something. Or just don't do anything because: who cares? Technically they are all ADULTS now and should just QUIT BEING BABIES.
Rewards: Seafoam Prestige, Skill "Wingman", +1 Guile
Failstate: +1 SISTERNADO ALERT
"Can…" Miguel sank into his chair, obviously uncomfortable, "Can we just drop this for now?"
"FINE." Leni barked at Miguel, she cleared her throat and looked at you with a smile as though she wasn't just about to bite Miguel's face off, "How have you been enjoying your first day of Summer Vacation, Lincoln?"
You inform her that you're heading to the Bunker to go check your phone and see what everyone's up to. But you're probably going to scope out Downtown Royal Woods to see if that new Powers movie has set up anything yet.
"Casing the joint?" Fiona raised an eyebrow, "Good idea, kid." She went back to her phone.
"Oh, that sounds fun!" Leni nodded, "Well, if you need me just text!"
You gave the three of them a wave before slinking into the Bunker. That Sister Interaction could have gone better, you should try to play nice with Leni's friends since you'll still be seeing them for a while.
You wince when you flip on the lights. Darebot needs to hire a maid or something, or get Lisa to build some kind of Chorebot. Empty cans of motor oil stacked up like a pyramid sat on top of the stained coffee table, spent batteries littered the floor and threatened to trip visitors, with a grimace you spot a open [Circuit Diagram] for a washing machine next to a bunch of dirty tissues and a bottle of [Hydraulic Fluid]. That's just nasty.
With a sigh you amble over to an outlet that wasn't connected to some kind of doomsday device and plug in your [Phone Charger]. You'll probably be out and about all day today and you don't need to worry about your phone dying on you. With a flourish you flip open your phone and check your messages.
From Trent: Need your help with a job, Loud. Call me.
Trent "The Bro in the Know" Fiskhorn
Trent is your classmate. Trent operates an outfit that supplies the students of Royal Woods Middle School with DRINKS of the SOFT VARIETY. Sometimes he calls on you and The Gang to help deal with certain… problems. Whether it be dealing with crooked Hall Monitors, bullies, or getting around security cameras you always find a way to help him out. Because who else is going to provide you with cans of [Red Boar], Flip? He charges 4 dollars for an 8oz! But, he's a very business oriented guy. A member of The Circle.
You call up Trent and he picks up after the first ring.
"Hey, Loud." You can hear the sound of a treadmill in the background, "Just getting my daily 8 in. Excuse the noise."
You ask him what he needs. And if he has any extra [Red Boar] still in stock.
"Ha. Quick to the pointless." You hear him ram a button on the treadmill and his pace picks up, "That's the problem. My supply line is in jeopardy. You know Anderson, Taylor, and- uh, I want to say his name is Pablo."
You're familiar with the trio. They beat the crap out of you and The Gang enough times where it's become some kind of weird day-to-day kind of thing. Sometimes The Gang gets the upper hand, sometimes you all get shoved in lockers. But most of the time they end up in lunch detention. The Gang and The Trio exchange Christmas cards, and are quite amicable when they are off the clock.
"That's insane. Christmas Cards? Wait- sorry. I'm getting off track." He stopped the treadmill and downed a waterbottle, "As I was saying- with them on Summer Vacation they've got nothing better to do than terrorize every kid in town. This includes me and my operation. I need a plan."
You know that Trent picks up his goods at the Hazeltucky CostClub. The only bike accessible road that feeds into it runs through two neighborhoods: Huntington Manor and Timber Lanes. You can probably ford a path that circumvents the streets through Ketcham Forest but it'll take at least two days and some muscle.
You hear Trent snap his fingers, "Liam. Kid knows the backwoods of Royal Woods like the back of his hand- same as you, of course. He probably has access to any of the stuff we need. But that still leaves us open for the 15 minute time window between my house and the woods…"
You can probably run interference, but you inform him it'll be a One-Time thing. If things go sour you don't want to have to nurse a broken arm the whole Summer Vacation.
"Only one chance,, huh? That's one heck of a run, Loud…" Trent sighed into the phone, "I'll need to double time that window, like 30 minutes."
30 minutes? You're not entirely sure you could handle that even if you had Ronnie Anne on your side. You'll have to take care of them ahead of time. If one of them is out of commission on the day, they won't be a problem. The question is who to target and how. You'll probably need to do some legwork first.
Trent went quiet for a while, "Remind me to never get on your bad side…" He continued, "Well if you help me pull this off I'll hand off 50% of the profits from it all ahead of time, and a little gift from my Circle to your Gang. And if it doesn't work out…" He let out a chuckle, "I hope the hospital food is good, for both of our sakes." You can hear him pop his back through the receiver, "Text me if you make progress with that little path of your's. From there on we'll discuss when we do this. I'll talk to you later, Loud."
The call has ended and you wonder just what the hell you just got yourself into.
QUEST ADDED:
Hard Times For Soft Drinks
The Streets Will Run Red With Boar
Progress: 10%
The Bro in the Know has requested your help for a little GROCERY RUN. That could end up putting you and your friends in a hospital. BLAZE a TRAIL through Ketcham Forest with the help of Liam and whoever the hell else is stupid enough to risk POISON IVY and RABID RACOONS. Take care of THE TRIO by any means necessary, or prepare for the worst half hour of your life. Or you can just get Lori to give you and Trent a ride- but that would be CHEATING.
Reward: a LOT of dollars (Dependent on your success), POPULARITY PRESTIGE, "The Juice Daddy's Prowess", "Hardcore Hero"
Failstate: Gain one CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER
Sometimes the worst blow a man can take is one to his ego. You've been beaten down before. You're no stranger to your PLANS falling to the wayside. But this is something different. You don't know why. And you don't really care to figure it out. All you know is that the idea of staring down Anderson, Pablo, and Taylor with all that on the line makes your hair stand up. Not in fear- but anticipation.
You'll check with Liam later, probably good to make sure the Plan is viable. Now to move down the line, you check your phone.
From Clyde: uh, need your help with something, call me when you can, no pressure
Clyde "xX4-EyedJackXx" McBride
Clyde has been your best friend since baby-times. Lately he's been hanging out with Chloé a ton, you wonder if there is something going on there. He's someone you can rely on, and contrary to what his demeanor implies: he is good with keeping a secret. Enjoys ANTIQUING and ARENA BASED SHOOTERS and COMIC BOOKS. A bit of a worry-wart, but he means well. Most of the time.
The phone rings for a while before Clyde picks up.
"Sorry, dude. I was finishing up the dishes," You hear the sound of gloves slapping off through the phone, "So. I got an order for 4 dozen snickerdoodles off of the online store front."
He paused and waited for you to say something so he could cut you off. So you say somethi-
"But that's not the interesting part. They paid to get them all delivered- in advance. AND the address?"
You ask him what the addres-
"1313 Truman Boulevard. You know: where that house burnt down last Thanksgiving."
Oh yeah, you remember that. The family lit the house on fire because of some mishap with a turkey fryer. Legends say you can hear gobbles, quacks, and cockadoodle-doos if you stand in the smoke-blackened driveway at midnight.
"Yup, and it's been a smoking crater ever since. Or at least it should be. I rode by on my bike after school yesterday and the house looked like NOTHING happened to it." He let his voice drop to a whisper, "I think I'm dealing with a ghost house, dude…"
A Ghost House? You think that's the worst kind of house. Ghosts shouldn't be houses, they should just be ghosts. Like how Taco Salad should just be a taco or a salad. You ask him when the delivery is supposed to happen and that you'll be there kitted up in your ARRGHonaut gear.
"Tomorrow. 10 P.M. That's like 2 hours away from the ghost hour! Midnight!" Clyde's voice was a mix of anxiety and excitement, "I'll see you at my house at 9:30, make sure you bring a helmet or my dads will flip out and drive us there." The sound of glass breaking rang out, "DING DANG IT, NEPURRTITI! Get off the countertop!" Clyde sighed, "I gotta go take care of that, I'll talk to you later, bro." He hung up after you mirrored his sentiments.
QUEST ADDED:
The Haunting of Turducken House
Sometimes, Thanksgiving Leftovers Bite Back
Progress: 0%
An oddly aseasonal haunting has come to you and Clyde's attention. Best case scenario: you bust a GHOST HOUSE and get to eat 4 DOZEN SNICKERDOODLES. Worst case scenario: it's actually a DEMON HOUSE and you might need to get Lucy to break out the exorcist kit. AGAIN.
Reward: +1 Poise, +1 ARRRGHonaut
Failstate: Code GAINSBORO increases
Man, you're starting to get sick and tired of busting all these ghosts. Lucy really needs to get over her hang-ups and help put these spectral creeps back into their place. Might be time to Pressure Her Into Taking Action against the PHANTASMAL MENACE. You can't shoulder the burden all by yourself, at least not right now. You kinda wanna enjoy your Summer Vacation, not do unpaid ghost busting work. Maybe you should've joined the UNION.
Next on the list is Girl Jordan.
From Girl Jordan: Hello. This is Girl Jordan.
Girl Jordan "The Queen with the Means" Woods
Girl Jordan transferred to Royal Woods Elementary from a private school in your 4th Grade year. Only to be met with the cold reality that there already was a Jordan in your class. Boy Jordan was nice enough to just go by BJ but Girl Jordan didn't want to just make him go through that alone so she decided to go by "Girl Jordan". Girl Jordan throws lavish parties at her parents' big-ass house and sends you an invite every time. You can only go every once in a while because you feel weird not bringing anything, lately you've just been giving her flowers you steal from Mr. Grouse's flower bed for her mom. Also: she is probably criminally insane. She is a member of the Circle and is the SHADOW BOSS of that friend group.
What. What kind of bullcrap is this? She asked for your number yesterday and this is what she opens with? You thought that maybe she needed help with planning a party or some kind of cool blackmail scheme or something. Girl Jordan is always up to something-
The thought springs into your mind that maybe she is up to something. And it concerns you. It's better to just get to the point with her before she does something crazy like holding one of your younger sisters hostage in order to goad you into slashing Principal Ramirez's tires because she cut Pepperoni Pizza off the lunch menu. Again. You dial her number.
Only to be met with her voice mail: "Hello. You have reached the number of Girl Jordan. I am probably out enjoying the Summer Colors. Please leave a message after the tone."
You leave her a message to call you back and that you don't want to play any games.
You stare at your phone for a good 30 seconds to see if she was just screening her calls like a crazy person. Your phone rings and you answer it.
"H-hi…" Girl Jordan stammered out, "Um. Thank you for calling me… Lincoln."
You note the weird fluctuations in her voice. She sounded exceptionally vulnerable. Maybe she's with her parents so she can't be herself over the phone. Which is a good thing. You tell her that it's nice to hear her voice and wonder what she wanted from you.
"M-m-m-my voice is n-nice?" Her phone almost didn't pick up that whisper, she cleared her throat after you heard the sound of someone slapping a cheek, "Sorry. Let me be as clear as I possibly can be with you, Lincoln Loud." She took a deep breath, "Would you like to get lunch some time?"
She wants you in a public place so you can't make a scene. Typical. Well, two can play that game. You let her know that you'll be at her house in 2 hours and if she has any food allergies. You have a pen and paper out to write them down in case you need to poison her on a later date.
"N-no. I do not have any food allergies. Wow. I-" Her voice broke into a giggle, and a chill went down your spine, "I didn't know it would be this easy… I would've asked for your number earlier but… I was shy." She thinks she's got you where she wants you, but you let her know that you've been waiting for this chance too, "Haha. Uh- this is moving kinda fast, but okay! I'm going to get ready now! I'll see you in 2 hours!" She ended the call with another laugh, this one more confident. You stared at her number and wondered what the hell you just got into. Again.
QUEST ADDED:
Showdown
"Bad dreamer, what's your name?
Looks like we're ridin' on the same train"
Progress: 0%
You should've just texted.
Reward: Nothing Good
Failstate: Nothing Good
Might be a good time to work on your last will and testament. But now is the time to talk to Zach.
Voice Mail From Zach: "Dude, I picked up some *COUGH* debris *COUGH* on some satellite read-outs that I got from Lisa's satellites! Meet me and Rusty after dinner at Tall Timbers Park!"
Zach "DJSqautch" Gurdle
An indispensable member of The Gang, equal parts believer and skeptic. Picks and chooses conspiracy theories out of a hat and stops at nothing to either prove or disprove them. You don't have the heart to tell him that alien life does exist, Lisa found a planet a bazillion light-years away that hosts a planet with anaerobic complex multicellular organisms that look like microscopic fart clouds that live in a sea of liquid nitrogen. Lately he's been really into Number Stations, you kind of have the feeling that he just listens to them as white noise to concentrate on his homework and games or whatever.
You don't really want to do that. You kinda wish Lisa never gave him access to her surveillance satellites that are actually just weather satellites and not surveillance satellites by any capacity. But he did help her with her research by getting her a Chupacabra sample, apparently those are real. No verdict on BigFoot yet.
You send him a short text
Linc: Alright, I'll let you know if I'm running late
Zach: Cool! Thanks, dude! Here's a photo:
He attached a photo that looked like a bunch of scrap metal in a smoking crater. It's probably just a weather balloon or something.
QUEST ADDED:
It's Probably Just A Weather Balloon Or Something
Beats the heck out of hanging around the house after dinner
Progress: 99%
Basically, Zach and Rusty invited you to hang out to look at a bunch of dumb stuff. Whatever.
Rewards: Good Company
Nikki messaged you on gamercord. You load up your PM's. Her message is from 3 A.M.
Nik: hey baby
Nik: was workin on the ol fic and added that thing you were talking about wit the magic skateboard
Nik: they loved it
Nikki "neuroticMaid" Hussie
Nikki is one of RA's friends. And also your friend now too, apparently. She writes this stuff called "fanfiction" on some website where a bunch of people read her Henry Pothole headcanons and get mad at her for it. She has an OC named "Nina Quiet" who is basically just Nikki with white hair. It's kind of embarrassing, but you're the only one she talks fic with. She's kinda shy about it with her Crew. You think she's GOOD COMPANY but a LITTLE BIT ECCENTRIC.
Linc: Cool. I'm glad it panned out well.
Linc: I was worried it would be too non-canon.
Linc: Also. Why do you insist on calling me *Baby*? Is it the height thing?
Nik: calm down
Nik: I call everyone baby
Nik: but I can stop if it makes u jealous
Nik: baby ;)
Linc: Oh, okay. That's fine then.
Linc: No, I don't want you to stop being you.
Nik: you can't see it
Nik: but I'm blushing rn
Linc: You know, if my ego was bigger I'd think you have a crush on me.
Nik: lol
Nik: an e waaays
Nik: u excited to see your Ronnie tomorrow?
Linc: *My* Ronnie?
Linc: We aren't like that.
Nik: hol up
Nik: fr?
Linc: Uh, yeah? Unless you know something that I don't know.
Nik: I do
Nik: but not about *that*
Nik: huh
Nik: that kinda changes things
Linc: Are you trying to be mysterious again?
Linc: You should save that energy for the fic.
Nik: nuh uh, baby
Nik: I changed my mind
Nik: you are the only one I'm calling baby from now on
Nik: hope sid doesn't get too jelly
Linc: Oh.
Linc: Ohhhhh.
Linc: So you *do* have feelings for me.
Nik: don't get a big head
Nik: if that's even possible lol
Nik: you are moving too fast
Nik: you need to marinate me first
Nik: take me out on dates and stuff
Nik: slow burn style
Linc: So we're supposed to go on dates and stuff now?
Linc: I don't really know how this stuff works.
Linc: But it *is* Summer Vacation.
Linc: I've got the time to work stuff out.
Linc: I think it would be nice to meet your parents first.
Linc: Maybe dinner with your family?
Linc: I can take the Bloodhound over soon.
Linc: I'll be out of commission on certain days.
Linc: Like this Thurs-Saturday I have to go do some work at Camp Mastodon.
Linc: Sunday works for me. I can probably wake up in time for lunch or dinner.
Linc: But if meeting your parents is like a 2nd date kind of thing we can just catch a movie.
Linc: And like have dinner afterwards.
Nik: er
Nik: you done?
Linc: Sorry, I was looking up movie showtimes.
Nik: wow
Nik: ur pretty serious about me
Nik: you can't see it rn
Nik: but I'm blushing
Linc: Me too!
Nik: cute
Nik: cute
Nik: so cute
Nik: okay
Nik: now stop typing
Nik: good boy
Nik: my turn
Nik: yeah
Nik: meeting my parents is like a 10th date kinda thing
Nik: u nerd
Nik: next sunday works, I will just meet u at the park outside the station
Nik: text me when you get there
Nik: just make sure u tell RA it's a friend thing
Linc: Why?
Nik: because it might not work out
Nik: and I don't think either of us want Ron to be all
Nik: weird and supportive like she always is
Linc: Oh, yeah. She is kinda weird about dating.
Linc: Always quick to the subject so long as it's not about her.
Nik: *shots fired*
Nik: *officer down*
Nik: u get it
Nik: welp
Nik: im gonna go scream into my pillow like a little girl
Nik: idk if u picked this up about me or not
Nik: but this'll be my first date too
Linc: Yeah, this is the first time I've been on a *real* date.
Linc: One time Lori dragged me into this weird double date thing with RA and Bobby.
Linc: Because Bobby broke up with Lori because I made RA cry
Nik: whoa. fr?
Linc: Yeah, I called her a troll monster or something.
Nik: yikes
Nik: welp
Nik: u don't think I'm a troll monster right?
Linc: Not at all.
Linc: I think you're much prettier than a troll.
Linc: Maybe like a noble forest elf or something.
Nik: okay
Nik: I need to sign off now
Nik: quit making me swoon so much
Nik: my mom is looking at me weird
Nik: ttyl, baby
Linc: Okay! See you later!
nueroticMaid has now disconnected
Well, that kind of happened. You have a date with a real life girl next Sunday. You're pretty sure if she calls you baby in real life you might vomit on her, though. Just because Lori and Bobby call each other babe. Maybe you should Work On Getting Over Your Weird Hang Ups About Dating before you go on an actual date.
QUEST ADDED:
Lincoln Loud and the Date with the Lanky Blonde
Slowly Burnin' Love
Progress: 10% Wait for Sunday
Nikki, the tall girl who skateboards, agreed to go on a date with your annoying nerdy butt. So you better not make that much of a FOOL out of yourself. Luckily, she's a huge nerd too. It might do you some good to ask for some dating tips. If you ask your sisters they run the risk of MEDDLING, but it might be worth it.
Rewards: +1 Guile, "No Longer A Dateless Loser"
Failstate: At Least You Can Still Be Friends, Probably
You unplug your phone and put your [Charger] back into your pocket. You've got about an hour and a half until the Showdown. Might as well take your bike through Royal Woods to see what's shaking. Figure out which eaterie has the easiest exits to get to and if they have a first-aid station in case Girl Jordan stabs you with a steak knife.
You ascend from the Bunker and close the lid behind you to be met with your bespectacled sister standing beside a girl with dope as hell light up shoes.
"Salutations, dear brother." Lisa cleared her throat, "As you have seen, my current tenant is a bit of a slob. I was wondering if I could employ your help to clean up the place… for an event."
Lisa "The Bespectacled Brat" Loud
To your delight Lisa has finally got over her lisp. To your dismay her mastery of diction and sophistry (that you have contributed to) has led to her gaining even more GRANTS and PRESTIGE in the scientific community to fund even more dangerously insane inventions and invasive studies. You think it's lucky that she's still adorable, otherwise you'd probably punt her like a football over the fence if she tried to test out that weird watch on you again.
"Lisa's holding a slumber party tonight!" Darcy cheered, she grabbed your arms and whipped them around, "It's gonna be soooo much fun!"
Darcy "The Playground Paragon" Helmandollar
This is Lisa's best friend in the whole wide world. On days where Lisa chooses the activities she's usually the one holding live specimens down for experimentation or egging on her friend to take a freeze-ray to Lake Eddy for some aseasonal ice skating. On days where Darcy chooses the activity they usually just end up playing on the playground or finding neighborhood cats to feed. Sometimes you wonder if Lisa is maybe a bad influence.
You raise an eyebrow at Lisa, "Yes…" Lisa uneasily tapped the tip of her orthopedic shoe onto the ground and looked down, a bit embarrassed, "I would like some help to ensure that my… slumber party goes on without a hitch and decided the Bunker would be… fun."
You crack a wide smile and shake Lisa's shoulders in excitement. Lisa has friends now! In plural! This is great news to you. You eagerly tell her that you'll meet up with her as soon as you're done dealing with your Showdown with Girl Jordan.
QUEST ADDED:
Bunker Buddies
A better party: underground!
Progress: 0%
Darcy and Lisa asked you to help clean the Bunker for a slumber party. You should do that to be nice. You have a feeling she didn't ask her sisters because she's shy.
Rewards: + 1 KARMA, +1 Body, [Grappling Hook 2.0]
"Sh-showdown?" Lisa scratched the back of her head, "I see…" She twitched her nose in contemplation before sighing, "I'll not meddle in your affairs this time since you'll be helping me out. I hope you have fun with your…" She lowered her voice to a whisper, "Date…" The two of them giggled to each other as they descended into the Bunker with rolls of empty trash bags and paper towels.
You think it's kinda messed up that they're calling your possibly lethal Showdown with Girl Jordan a date, but Lisa kind of has a dry sense of humor. Maybe Lucy is rubbing off on her or something. You decide to dip into the Garage real quick to grab your bike, the doorknob vibrating from the Soundwaves of the speakers. You give a sigh of relief when you feel your [NBG 4k's] kick in and quiet everything down. Hearing damage is a constant threat at 1216 Franklin Avenue.
What the heck. You guys read all that? I mean, at least all the plot points are neatly plotted out. I have a feeling things will get resolved pretty fast. But, Jeez. Dude can't even check his phone without getting a radiant quest.