Hey guys, i know this isnt the lengthiest chapter i just wanted to upload this to keep things moving and also...
Give you a little bit of whats to come *cough* Spock and Jim smut *cough*
Sorry for not uplaoding regularly lifes been getting in the way ive been struggling with mental health recently but i refuse to give up on this story.
"So let me get this straight Jim." Leonard said standing up from his chair with both hands clasped together in front of his mouth. "you're apologising for being 'weird' about the fact im seeing someone." He frowned comically at Jim while he made air quotes with his fingers. "When have you been weird?"
"You know Bones, i've just been weird. Like calling you on your day off and making you come to the bridge because id found out-"
"And thats what youre apologising for?" Leonard sat down again with a suspicious brow raise at the blonde as he watched him shift his weight from one foot to the other. He knew he hadn't spat out the main part of what he wanted to say and he was waiting for the ball to drop. "Jim." He warned lightly.
"I'm just saying because I realised I was being weird and i almost crossed a line after lunch, because I went to go and lock you out from the last hour of your recorded camera feed… the one in your office." There it was. The ball had finally dropped and Jim watched Bones brows reach his hairline.
"So… what is it? you don't like her or do you have this supernatural force making you feel the need to see me going at it." Leonard frowned in utter bewilderment raising his hands up in confusion.
Jim half laughed whilst frowning as he shook his head. "What, no it's nothing like that Bones, I didn't watch it if thats what youre thinking-"
"That was not what i was thinking but now i think you're lying, god, could have at least asked permission then i could have charged you and made some money." Leonard said in a serious tone making Jims jaw fall open before Leonard cracked and they were both laughing.
"I saw nothing… of yours." Jim said still trying to catch his breath.
"Damn it Jim."
"For the record, I knew you weren't a southern gentleman."
"Hey, ive never done wrong by that woman, besides, you cant fuck like a gentleman thats why there isnt a position named after it." Leonard cocked a brow at him with a smirk.
"You've got me there." Jim stifled a chuckle as he shook his head trying to remember what he needed to say. "I guess, I don't know, i thought you were gunna change, that things were gunna change with us now you-"
"Jim, im still the same person you idiot. I get it though, not like you had any past references of me being remotely intimate with someone else before now. Stop panicking, I haven't been treating you any different have i?"
"No… no you haven't actually."
"Exactly. If anything you should be thrilled that im not annoyed as frequently as I used to be, when i was dealing with all those asshats out there on my own." Jim knew that Bones didn't really think his staff were asshats, or any of the rest of the crew for that matter, bit he couldn't help but huff out a laugh at the mans weird way of showing affection.
He raised an brow, smirking as he laughed at Bones. "We both know that's only half the reason you haven't been anywhere near as annoyed as usual." Jim scoffed waving the man off with a shake of his head.
"Gimme a break man it's been 8 years not even tolerating the thought of women-"
"8 years! What with nothing but-"
"Pretty much, although there was one night at the academy where i got black out drunk and woke up the next morning a little bit sticky, still can't remember what happened, but that isn't the point! Point is stop changing our damn shift patterns around, because you fucking with the rota is giving me withdrawals." Leonard pointed down at his desk aggressively eyebrow suddenly twitching with frustration.
"You literally sleep in the same bed, how do you-oh you mean the 12 hour switch shifts yea sorry. I guess I can try and avoid that."
"It wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't such a nightmare afterwards." Leonard groaned into his hands as he slumped forwards onto his desk.
"Nightmare how?"
Leonard gave him this look that had jim laughing at him for the second time in the space of a couple of minutes. "She cannot be that bad, besides this one was only for three days."
"Jim you have no idea, i'm sorry about erm… in my office. Won't happen again, she was pissing me off all morning I just needed to make her stop."
"Bones you seriously need to grow some kind of resolve against teasing-"
"8 years Jim. And to be frank i dont think youd last more than a couple of hours if any of the shit she does was aimed at you."
"You're just weak right now, you're only like 3 months in it'll get easier, i've dealt with some shit in my time Bones." Jim comforted the man with a firm slap on his back as he walked around behind Bones chair and looked down. At the desk. "I hate you, I can't look at your desk now, why did you even say anything, I really didn't need to know."
Leonard started laughing then, a full on belly laugh as Jim tried to hide the smile on his face as he slapped Bones gently for laughing at him.
"You do know i'm not just with her because of an 8 year dry spell right?"
"Yea, Bones, trust me that's the first thing I knew from the get go, you don't do casual. Besides, it's been completely obvious since the first week that you like her."
"How could you have known when I wasn't even sure myself?"
"I just know you Bones, you have your tells." He gave the older man a smile as he wiggled his brows. "So... what's it like sleeping with a woman with the ability to crush your skull between her thighs like a watermelon?" Jim asked un ashamed as Bones rolled his eyes and shook his head trying and failing to hide a smirk.
"I knew this day was coming sooner or later, you really are a pervert if you want to pick my brains this badly."
"Cmonnn, Bones, you're finally getting some in all the time ive knew you i wanna know if it's up to standard. Besides kinda wanna prove Alex wrong when she says we cant talk about this kinda stuff sober."
Bones let out a chuckle then, shaking his head and putting his hands over his face as a mischievous smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Its up to standard Jim, well up to standard."
"So it's true what they say about doctors then? Talented hands?"
"Jim." Bones warned eyebrow quirked up with a faint flush across his cheeks. "You know you really don't actually want the details-"
"I absolutely want the details if Nyota and Alex can discuss this stuff then why can't we?"
"Because they're women Jim, they have a bottle of wine then talk about techniques or something, even I don't quite know what they talk about when they're alone."
"You think they really talk about guys they're seeing? And like, go into detail?"
"Unfortunately i know that for a fact, the amount of info Nyota has on me now has me on the brink of paranoid."
"What really?"
"Alex has told her so much, Jim. not that I particularly want Nyota knowing the things I say in the sack, or the size of my equipment but i'm pretty sure those two things have long since become common knowledge."
"Maybe it's some weird bragging thing women do? Or like use it as a reference to give advice- wait why would she be bragging about the size of your junk?"
"I don't know, i've never been the type of guy to brag about it so I don't have a clue." Bones threw his hands up in exasperation before leaning back in his chair with a sigh, Jim had long since moved so he was sat on his desk looking down at him with tilted head and cocked brow. The somewhat stiff silence being broken by Jim with a question that hit like a sledgehammer.
"How big is it?"
Leonard sputtered as he looked up at his best friend with an unbelieving glare. "You're seriously asking me that?"
"Bones it's not a trick question, plus if you're hiding a weapon down there then of course shes gunna brag about it, especially after being on a dry spell of her own."
"Whats national average again?" Bones said seriously, sighing at the fact he was actually going to answer.
"Like 5 inches i think-"
"Im being serious Jim-"
"So am I! that's the national average."
Leonard frowned then, a look of contemplative surprise etched on his face. "Well damn I always thought I was about average but apparently not, sure it's not more than that that seems kinda small-"
"Bones."
"Alright alright, I don't exactly measure the thing with a ruler you know!... I'd say im about 7 and a half." Leonard mumbled scratching his jaw awkwardly as Jim just stared at him.
"Bullshit." Jim got up from his spot on Leonards desk and moved to the front putting his palms flat on the desk and leaning towards bones with a deep frown.
"Like i said i dont measure it-"
"I'm still calling bullshit, you'd have to hide behind biobeds and sit tucked into your desk whenever she riled you up at work."
"I do have to do that, im the cmo i can't be seen like that you just expect me to walk around until someone notices?"
"Well no i just really don't believe what you're saying-"
"You know what fine, gimme one second- Alex, c'mere a sec." Leonard stuck his head out of his office door beckoning the woman over with his hand as he glared back into the room where Jim remained leaned against his desk.
Alex stepped into the room with a look of confusion before Leonard motioned at Jim to come out with the question that he'd literally just already answered.
"You want me to ask her ?-"
"Well you aren't taking my word for it so-"
"Wait wait ask me what, i was in the middle of an intense bitching session what is it-" Alex frowned looking between Leonard and Jim with annoyance.
"How big is Bones' dick." Jim blurted out watching as the red head shut up instantly and just blinked at him for a couple of seconds stunned into silence.
She narrowed her eyes at him then. "Why do you need me to answer that?"
"Because ive asked Bones but i think he's lying-" Jim waved his hand at the cmo stood beside the redhead across from him with a look of betrayal on his face. A smile breaking out when he saw Alex cover her face with one hand and start to laugh quietly to herself.
"I meant more how did you even get onto this topic- and why would he lie about the size? You want me to measure it for you?" Alex spoke through little huffs of laughter as she looked from Jim to Leonard who just chuckled at her and rolled his eyes.
"No I don't need you to do that, weird conversation i know, but i told him about 7 and a half and he doesn't believe me."
"Wait hold up where are we metaphorically measuring from. The base or all the usable shaft-" Alex was cut off by Jim making a strained confused sound as he held his hands up.
"What do you mean usable shaft-"
"The phrase balls deep exists for a reason sweety." Alex laughed as she watched Jim go red in the face and felt Leonards rumbling laughter vibrate through her.
"Just the normal, base to tip." Jim coughed while laughing lightly.
"Id say 7 to 7 and a half is a fair estimate."
Bones clicked his tongue at Jim winking at him for added effect to make him even more red in the face. "Told you, now can we get off this topic, not comfortable with the attention being centered around my junk."
"How did you get onto this topic in the first place." Alex asked wearing a shit eating smirk as she put a hand on her hip.
"Guy things Alex, I told you we could talk about this kind of stuff sober."
"You had to get a woman involved so you clearly can't." Alex scoffed at Jim a smile crinkling her eyes as she laughed.
"How can you and Nyota talk about that shit?" Jim asked seriously kinda annoyed that they seemed to be able to do it so comfortably.
"We don't go into major detail you know, it's not like giving a detailed description like telling a story."
"Really?" Leonard and Jim both said in unison. Looking at eachother like they were high schoolers learning about some secret club that they'd never been allowed into.
"Oh my god, of course not, you guys should know that women are alot more complicated to turn on, and to make finish than guys are. Like you guys have a joystick sticking out of your body its really simple to get a guy off, no offence. Like half the time when women have those talks they're talking about things they've experienced that have felt good for them and suggesting to the person they're talking to, to try that technique or thing with their partner, or on their own." Alex shrugged her shoulders and folded her arms with an intrigued frown at the two men sat in front of her listening with such earnest it was kind of adorable.
"So you don't talk about guys directly?" Jim squinted mildly confused at where the guys fit into it.
"Well no sometimes we do, but then it's the same, its advice on trying something on the guy that we've experienced can work, not that every guy is the same because they aren't, different things feel better or not so good with different people, even women. I can guarantee though that at least some things you've been asked to do in the bedroom have been suggestions from another woman."
"So its just a network on sex advice that women have and guys have no idea about?"
"Pretty much, everything we've ever learned from a guy or a gal while in the sack should not be kept secret, most of us are all about helping each other out. And that includes the sex life, guys cant discuss that stuff so the responsibilty of years of experiences are left to be passed on by us. You're welcome."
"So what have you told Nyota, advice wise." Leonard cocked a brow at her expectantly with a hint of a smirk.
"A couple of things, just like theres another thing i'm going to be suggesting she tries when i see her tonight."
Leonard tilted his head at her trying to think on what he'd done today that was different until he felt heat rise to his face and before he knew it, his ears were burning.
"Wow i dont think ive ever seen you this red in my life Bones."Jim laughed slapping him on the back playfully.
"Oh Leonard, it's not something to be embarrassed about honestly."
"I'm not embarrassed I just don't think i want Nyota knowing i did that because she will use it as blackmail material against me."
"You are embarrassed, its fine, i'm just saying there's no need, Jim will have done that before, Scotty has- or he's talked like he has-"
"I think I know what youre talking about, so I'm gunna say something that's gunna ease your embarrassment and probably get me hypod to death, but I say this with good intentions." Jim stood from Leonards desk and made his way closer to the door as Bones frowned at him from his swivel chair. "Alex your ass is unbelievable, if you'd have hooked up with me instead of scotty i would have spent half the night with my face buried between-"
Leonard was on his feet in a flash with a murderous glare. "Jim you make anymore comments like that about her and i'm gunna rip your tongue out you son of a-!" But Jim was already out of the door and halfway through med bay before Leonard could make a grab at him. "Bastard, he's dead next time I see him." Leonard scowled bloody murder at where Jim was stood before his escape act as hands came up and cupped his cheeks, thumbs stroking past his stubble soothingly before she pressed her lips to his feeling the tension slowly slide away. Pulling back she was pleased to see the scowl was gone and his eyes weren't burning with anger.
"It definitely got rid of your embarrassment though, don't worry, you're the only one that gets to do that, hmm?" She hummed kissing him again, shivering as his hands finally wrapped around her and pulled her flush against his chest, his mouth was like heaven, lips brushing past hers ever so slowly, the distinctive noise of their tender kisses filling the room with each peck, each meeting of their lips, and graze of tongues gliding past one another. Tentatively exploring the others mouth. Sighing as they finally pulled apart he rested his forehead against hers.
"I hate the fact that other guys on this ship are thinking about you like that, pisses me right off."
"Feeling a little bit jealous?" Alex asked smiling at him with a sparkle in her eyes that had him melting into the hands still cupping his face.
"A little."
"There's no need, i don't want Jim, or any of the other assholes on this god forsaken ship. I've got you, pfft, even Hugh Jackman couldn't compete with you." She laughed slapping him on the chest playfully before she was pulled into a hug and lifted off the floor making a squeal tear from her throat as she was spun around laughing in his arms. Her laughter melodic as her feet hit the floor again. "Just in case you need that extra reassurance you're turning out to be the best i've had." She crooned at him playfully as he hummed, arms still wrapped around her as he watched her lips move.
A cheeky smirk graced his features at that. "Is that so?"
"Never had a guy learn the right angles and what I like as fast as you did, or be so committed to making sure I finish every time."
Leonard scoffed then frowning at her lightly not wanting to believe what she was implying. "It's common courtesy, are you saying theres guys that just don't bother?"
"Oh yea, anyway i gotta get back out there, i'll see you later." She stood on her tiptoes slightly and kissed his cheek before turning to the door with the biggest smile on her face. Leonard wearing a matching grin as he watched her leave, god i'm so fucked, how did i ever win her over.
Jim groaned as his back hit the wall of his cabin, the hot breath on his neck and the cool hand worming its way under his shirt and over his stomach insanely distracting. Goosebumps rising on his neck as hot kisses left a trail all the way down to his shirt collar before his sensitive skin was pulled between teeth with a harshness that had him gasping, firm lips creating a seal against his neck as he felt the gentle suction and soothing lapp of a hot tongue.
"-Thought you said you didn't know what a love bite was-" Jim breathed between pursed lips, eyes squeezed shut as his hand fisted in Spock's shirt.
"I didn't, but the technique itself wasn't difficult to work out." Spocks voice was low, gravely almost as he spoke against Jims neck and he couldn't help letting out the smallest whine hearing his always so put together first officer sound so raw.
"Well fuck me Spock, youre a quick learner-" Jim was cut off by his unifrom shirts being pulled over his head, catching just a glimpse of Spocks face and those blown out pupils before those green tinted lips were at his throat again and his body was forced back against the wall with bruising force.
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I did try and proof read this for any spelling errors but defo let me know if theres any obvious ones that ive missed and ill sort them out.
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