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The projector switched over to a black and white shot of Warner Brothers Studios. A date popped up at the bottom: January 23rd, 1930.
"The year is 1930." Yakko narrated the visuals over dramatically, "My siblings and I had just been created. As you know, we were deemed too zany to be shown to the public. So the executives at the time locked away all of our film reels, then locked us in the water tower."
"What a load of garbage." Dot sneered, "We weren't that zany!"
"We just liked having fun!" Wakko agreed.
Yakko pressed the remote, going to the next slide. Instead of a photograph, it was what appeared to be a child's drawing of the Warners looking sad.
"Now," the elder Warner continued, "If this were any other story, we would have spent the next sixty plus years being depressed, moping around, and getting a bunch of romanticized mental illness. But you see, we're the Warner Brothers-"
"And sister!" Dot chimed in.
"-and we always fight back." Yakko said. He clicked the remote and the picture changed to a child's drawing of the Warners looking angry, "We became bitter. We became spiteful. We became hateful of the entire human race for doing this to us. We never did anything to deserve this, did we?"
Hello Nurse looked over at the Warners, who were now staring daggers into her. She gulped and answered, "I... Suppose that was a bit harsh of a punishment."
Yakko slammed his fist against the table, startling them both. He spoke with a biting bitterness in his voice, "Harsh?! We are children! How would you expect us to understand why we were being punished?!"
An awkward silence fell over the group. Yakko took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"No no," he said, "I'm having my enraged breakdown too early. Let's continue." He flipped to the next slide, which was a picture of what appeared to be the rest of the Animaniacs cast, "You know, other toons took sympathy on us. They brought us toys, games, and food when the humans wouldn't come near us. That's when I started to get an idea for revenge."
He flipped to the next slide: another childish drawing of the Warners planning something devilish indicated by the poorly drawn devil horns and tails drawn on them, "You see, I took an interest in science. Specifically a little something called bioengineering... I asked the toons who still cared for us for science kits and tools. Of course, we were limited. But I was able to create a very basic form of our breakthrough mineral..."
Yakko flipped to the next slide. This one was of Wakko holding a blue glowing mineral and grinning widely. This was before he had the blue growths jutting out of his body.
"Hey!" Wakko called out, "That's me! Look everyone that's me! I'm in the movie!"
Yakko couldn't hide his amusement at his brother's enthusiasm, "Behold, Warnerium! Of course, this was the prototype Warnerium, which hardly worked for what we needed it to do. You see, Warnerium is essentially super-charged toon matter. I took a piece of my own tissue to properly create it." He rolled up his sleeve, where a stitch was barely visible across his arm, "It... Was not a very clean operation and I ended up injuring myself to a point where my toon powers couldn't heal it properly."
Wakko and Dot hugged him, as if to comfort him. He quietly hugged them back. It would have been a touching moment if they weren't planning on killing two innocent people immediately after the presentation.
"Regardless, we all have to suffer for our craft, don't we?" Yakko asked, his voice cheering up quickly, "But to answer your burning questions about Warnerium, in laymen's terms, it's a toon cancer. Except unlike human cancer, it only becomes stronger and can be harvested for energy. And ooh boy, does it produce a lot of energy. So much so, that it has the potential to break the laws of reality itself."
Brain shouted from below, "I've already solved your villainous plans. You're planning to break the Law of Comedy, aren't you?"
Yakko chuckled, reaching into his coat and pulling out a small laser pistol labeled "PUN GUN". He promptly shot Brain's cage down on the table, causing the mouse to yelp in surprise.
"Shut up," he growled, "I'm telling the story." He put the gun away and flipped to the next slide, "As I was saying, Warnerium has the potential to break the laws of reality itself. Even for us toons. You see, a revelation came upon me one day."
He flipped to the next slide, showing a crude drawing of a human and a toon, labeled with various parts, "Toons are not limited by the laws of physics and reality. We casually break them all the time. But there's just one issue. The animators of old created a rule that prevented toons from abusing their powers. That rule is the Law of Comedy."
Brain snarled under his breath, "I already observed that... YIPE!"
Yakko had shot his cage again. He put the gun away again and continued, "The Law of Comedy stops toons from completely overpowering humans. We can't do anything, unless it is comedic. But here's the thing: humans are not limited by the Law. They are limited by other laws, like physics and reality and all those nasty little things. But the Law of Comedy? Nope. You don't have to have your actions be funny to accomplish them."
Yakko put his arms around his siblings as they all grinned nefariously, "And thus, my siblings and I decided to enact our revenge on the studio. We nabbed the toons who were caring for us and used their bodies to harvest Warnerium. In the year of 1999, we broke out and kidnapped our very first victim: Ralph the studio guard. Oh dear little Ralph... His operation was a tough one that left him traumatically scarred, but he eventually stabilized. Toonification had been realized."
Yakko flipped to one last slide: a disturbing photograph of Ralph the guard in his toonified form. He was hunched over, blue Warnerium liquid leaking from the corners of his mouth and eyes.
Dot giggled at Hello Nurse and Scratchansniff's horror at the picture, "See, I think he looks better this way!"
Yakko chuckled, "Well, I don't mean to brag, but my genius design is something to admire!"
"So for over twenty years..." Hello Nurse started, "You've been picking off workers at Warner Brothers and turning them into these half-toon abominations?"
The Warners nodded and said in unison, "Yup!"
Scratchansniff looked distraught, "You kids...! What in the world happened to you?! You were always a little kooky but... This is criminal insanity!"
"Criminal insanity? Or criminal genius?" Yakko asked rhetorically, "Think about it Scratchansniff: the human race will benefit from toonification as well. Toonification can prevent human disease. Toonification can heal. Toonification can wipe out broken bones, cancer, dementia, common colds... You'd never have to worry about dying in a car crash, or a fire, or falling from a great height. You'd never age again." His smile grew psychotic as he rested his chin on his hand, "Now what sane and desperate human wouldn't take the opportunity to cheat death itself?"
Hello Nurse growled, "If you were so convinced people wanted this surgery of yours, how come you feel the need to kidnap people?"
Yakko laughed, "You humans just don't know what's best for you! That's why we select subjects at random. Of course, we have had one who took interest in our procedures..."
"Who would willingly let you turn them into a toon?!" Scratchansniff demanded.
The Warners gave a knowing giggle.
"That's spoilers, isn't it?" Yakko snickered, "You won't know that until we put the final step of our plan into action."
Hello Nurse and Scratchansniff exchanged worried glances.
"That's right," Yakko continued, "We have a grand finale planned for our revenge! And it's going to be big."
"Bigger than that quadruple cheeseburger I had yesterday?" Wakko asked.
"Bigger than your ego?" Dot asked, snickering rudely.
Yakko sighed, "No no, it's going to be HUGE. It might even be... World-endingly huge..."
The Warners giggled, which evolved into an all-out maniacal laugh. They spent a solid minute cackling wildly, almost to the point Wakko fell off the table. Once they recovered, Yakko took the remote and pressed a button to turn off the projector and retract the screen. The tables lowered back on to the floor. The Warners hopped off and approached their captive audience.
"What was the point of any of that?" Hello Nurse asked.
"I like bragging." Yakko replied with a sleazy smile, "But of course, now that you know our plans, you surely know what happens now?"
The Warners joined together in a happy chorus, "Time to get toonified!"
Hello Nurse and Scratchansniff both started to panic again. Yakko picked his saw off the floor and wiped it down with a rag. Wakko and Dot ran off to grab other tools, as well as jars of the Warnerium ore.
Yakko glanced up at them both, smiling deviously, "The only question now is... Which one of you should we toonify first?"
Dot appeared next to Scratchansniff's table, startling him, "I wanna toonify Scratchy first!"
Wakko came over with jars of Warnerium in his arms, "Nah! We should toonify Hello Nurse first! Hellooooo half-toon Nurse!"
"Stop stop stop!" Yakko commanded, "We'll decide this in a civil way. With a coin flip!" He pulled out a coin from his coat pocket and turned to Hello Nurse, "Ladies first. Heads or tails?"
Hello Nurse hesitated, "Erm... Tails?"
"Excellent choice! If it lands on tails, you get toonified first. If it lands on heads, Scratchy gets toonified first!"
Scratchansniff let out a weak whimper. Yakko threw the coin into the air, caught it, and slapped it on the back of his hand. He looked up slowly, locking his eyes on Hello Nurse while his evil grin widened.
"Tails!"
Wakko cheered while Dot groaned. Yakko rolled a seat over to Hello Nurse's table, his over sized saw in hand. He pulled his goggles down over his eyes and grinned fiendishly. Hello Nurse tried not to shake, but she was clearly panicked.
"You can't!" She cried, "You can't do this!"
Yakko ran a finger over the crook of her elbow, where he had marked a dotted line, "And yet, I'm doing it anyways!" He put the saw to her elbow slowly, savoring the anticipation.
Scratchansniff screamed. Wakko and Dot laughed wildly. Hello Nurse shut her eyes and waited for the pain to hit.
