Space Oddity

by GreenPointyEaredBastard

Join the crew as they set out into space after the events of star trek beyond with additions to their already disfunctional space family. Jim's having mixed emotions about his best friend getting close with a woman for the first time in years whilst dealing with problems of his own. Bones didnt realise just how bad he'd gotten at reading signals till she arrived. Summary inside!

33. High strung

Its been a while since I've updated i know but im slowly getting to where my creative mind is at with this fic so the next few chapters should have alot of details in and won't be so stagnent. Sorry if there's any spelling errors. Enjoy!

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Of course because after all the hassle with the trial and getting the stupid left over mind link removed while they were on new Vulcan, Starfleet had to go and throw them a curve ball before they got to have shore leave.

Not only do they have to travel to Altair 5 to pick up something close to 500 refugees oh no but they also have to cart them over to Andoria. And Alex didn't have a problem with this at all oh no, what she had a problem with is that the entire crew had to double up for this week long journey to Andoria from Altair 5. What she had a problem with was that Nyota had completely forsaken her and had somehow forgotten she couldn't just go running straight into Leonards bed because low and behold, he still hasn't got his memory back. But no she'd somehow let that slip her mind and offered to share her quarters with Chapel instead. Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. Like yes Leonard and herself were on far more amiable terms now that he'd practically got to know her better, and yes they may be flirting back and forth occasionally but his memory wasn't all there and it was strangely tense when they were around the other. Even more so when they were apart for some reason as of late.

She'd even asked Carol Marcus, one of her long term patients, but nope, she was already sharing with another science officer. What's worse was that only a handful of people even knew Leonard had lost his memory at all, they acted almost exactly the same around one another while they worked as they did when they were together, you know with this natural flow they had and their constant back and forth playful digs. The point being that everyone just assumed they were room sharing, so much so that she knew for sure it would cause more hassle than it was worth to pull one of the nurses to the side and ask if they had a bunk mate yet because good god, the gossip that would spread. It just wouldn't be worth it, she wasn't about to embarrass herself or Leonard by having people gossip about them having 'relationship troubles.' So she decided she was sleeping in Leonards office, at least that way she'd always be on call and fast to reach. To put it bluntly she was so beyond frustrated it was unbelievable, she was hot headed, snippy, for a plethora of reasons. Nyota forgetting about her predicament was one, and it was a big one, another was not only was she obviously sexually frustrated, she was frustrated with everything and every one aswell, to the point she wasn't even sure if it was natural anymore. It might have started as just a niggling frustration but now it just felt like her head was constantly one stupid comment away from exploding. She couldn't sleep properly at night, and even though the faint smell of him on her bed sheets tormented her at night she refused to change them, finding his smell comforting in a twisted way when she got to the point of delirious with insomnia before she basically passed out. But not that that mattered right now, her quarters had been claimed by a pair of refugees and all she had was this box she was holding with her most valuable things in, having to leave her guitars behind and hope they wouldn't be touched.

setting the box down on Leonards desk she sighed, she was so tired. She knew she had purple bags under her eyes and an obvious slump to her shoulders but nobody was here right now, she could let her guard down for just a second. Sure she was delighted that Lyras was doing jail time, his accomplices included. But god if she wasn't finding everything all just too much to take in right now. She just wanted to not exist just for a little while.

"What're you still doing here? Shouldn't you be asleep in Nyotas quarters round about now?" Came the all too familiar southern drawl of her favorite but also most hated person as of recently. Things would be so much simpler if he just remembered. It's not his fault Alex, no matter how shit this is it isn't his fault. She could feel his eyes on her already taking in her tired and drawn out appearance. Not that he looked much better himself, she noted with a tiny sense of selfish satisfaction.

"Nah, Chapel is staying in Nyotas quarters, i'm just making base camp here, thought it'd be better to be as close to med bay as possible you know, with all the new guests on board." She half laughed as she looked down at the white lid of her box.

"You're joking aren't you? You look like hell, you obviously haven't been sleeping enough and you're trying to tell me you're going to sleep on a bio bed in my office? Not happening."

"You don't exactly look fresh faced yourself and really? Pray tell what other choice do I have Leonard?" She didn't even have the energy to snap at him, she only just about managed to keep the scathing tint to her tone before she let out a huge sigh. "Sorry-"

"You're staying with me, you need a good night's sleep. I'll take the couch."

"Cmon, there's really no need i'm fine-"

"The hell you are, now make a move before I sedate your argumentative ass and carry you there myself." One brow twitched at her as he pointed towards the door. His concern was etched as clear as day on his face along with a good dose of annoyance.

"Taking the phrase putting it to bed and giving it a whole other meaning, alright alright you win, but im on the sofa, im shorter than you it just makes more sense… Thanks by the way." She sighed, picking up her box with heavy lids as they both trekked down the empty halls towards Leonards quarters in amiable silence. Leonards mind wandering over the fact they'd probably walked these halls to his room so many times before this he just couldn't remember them. As they stepped through his door she immediately noticed the un changed bed sheets and felt her heart ache in her chest before she beat the feeling back down, she couldn't just assume he'd not changed them for the same reason as her. Not after 2 weeks. He'd probably just been too busy to. Being back in his room after so long kind of made her want to cry, his smell was everywhere, taunting her, her body immediately relaxing when the scent hit her nose but her mind wouldn't stop working a mile per minute. She was so on edge while being the most relaxed she'd been in a while it almost felt like she was on a precipice, standing on the edge of a mountain range, the calm before she took the fall.

She placed her box down near the sofa smiling when she saw his glasses haphazardly balanced on one of the arms, plucking them off the sofa she put them on with a small huff of laughter that came out sounding more like a snort. It was pretty funny that he only ever wore them in his room, she was surprised he didn't get headaches more often without them, not that his eyesight was horrendous but she could tell looking through the lenses his left eye struggled with things that were up close. His right lense was almost just a plain of glass, hardly any prescription needed for it at all.

She heard a chuckle behind her and she snapped around to see him stood in the middle of the room, arms folded giving her this lopsided smile as he watched her fiddle with his glasses. "You enjoying yourself?"

"A little bit, i've always wanted glasses." She confessed, giving him a half smile in return as she opened the lid of her box pulling out a baggy green tee and throwing it on the sofa before replacing the lid. Somehow not hearing him walk over to her till she saw his boots in front of where she sat. She looked up just in time to see him bending down to gently pluck the angular frames from her face, something that was interrupted by her jumping nearly out of her skin at how close he was. She hadn't been this close to him since he'd hit his damn head. Well she had, but sparingly, and not while she was feeling this tense.

He laughed at her then, gently taking hold of the frames as he slid them off from behind her ears. "Relax, steadiest hands in the fleet." He quipped, turning to put them in their case on his bedside table. Which for some reason were on the opposite side to where he usually slept.

"I know." She replied in the most casual tone that she literally almost choked on her own saliva when she realised what exactly shed just implied. She could physically feel her cheeks burning and immediately put her head in her hands hoping he wouldn't notice. She refused to even look up at him and see what reaction he had to her comment.

"Nice to know somebody agrees, I don't even believe that myself half the time. Want a drink?" She could hear him shuffling round the kitchenette pressing buttons on the replicator. There was no questioning he was smooth, playing that off like he hadn't immediately spotted the double meaning, because she knew him. And it's something he would not have missed. He'd saved her some embarrassment though which she was grateful for.

"Erm yea, do you have cherry coke programmed into your replicator." She squinted at him waiting for him to say no.

"In fact I do, you're in luck. Only got full fat though so hope you're ready for a sugar rush."

"Oh im ready for it gimme those sugary calories." Shooting up from her place on the sofa she zipped across the room till she was stood next to leonard bouncing on the balls of her feet. It was stupid but she hadn't had it in so long she was kind of excited for it, so much so the thought of it had given her a little burst of energy. It was simple things that she'd learned to appreciate these days.

"Whoa there, if this keeps you up all night im banning you from it until you can get a good night's sleep."

"Says the guy who likes to drink coffee 2 hours before bed."

"You've got me there, ill have you know that recently i've been on decaf for my late night fix so suck it." He couldn't help but smirk at her when he saw her starting to blush. poor woman just can't stop finding innuendos in everything anyone says. "You just can't stop your head going straight into the gutter can you." He couldn't help the low chuckle as he watched her half embarrassed half laughing smile as she went to a deeper shade of red.

"I can't help it, it's like a sixth sense for innuendos. It doesn't help that half the people I know on this bloody ship literally specialise in the language of filth." She laughed before taking a sip of her coke with a content sigh, already feeling less tense now she was just in the man's presence.

Leonard couldn't help but laugh at that. "The language of filth, you sure you're talking about the same people i think you're talking about? I mean Jim i can understand but Spock? No way."

"You, Jim and Nyota are fluent, and to be fair to Spock, he has made a couple of accidental innuendos which he clicks on to a couple of seconds late, he does have hidden potential."

"Hold on me?! I'll have you know Witch, I keep all of my innuendos and filth in my head unless it's a special occasion or im trying to annoy Jim."

"Pfftttt, thats a big fat lie, you literally use your accent to you know, accentuate innuendos sometimes, you're one of the worst for it."

"That's the stupidest thing ive ever heard, that's like me saying you wear the uniform dress to accentuate your figure, its bullshit, its uniform, it's something that you don't have much of a choice with just like my accent." He pointed an accusing finger at her with a challenging brow raise, he knew he had her with that. Gotcha. He had to admit though, verbally sparring with someone that wasn't Jim or Spock was mighty refreshing, although maybe that was because sometimes shed slip up and into flirting with him like it was the most natural thing ever. And I'm the one thats fluent in the language of filth? Pfft.

"I mean the fact that you're suggesting I wear the uniform dress to accentuate my figure means you think it does in fact, accentuate my figure. And now i can plan accordingly when i'm going to be a distraction-" She couldn't help laughing as his face morphed through several different emotions before finally resting on mild frustration. And there she is doing it again, tormenting me and flirting with me at the same time.

"Don't analyse me Witch that's not the point I was trying to make." He grumbled frowning at her as he stalked over to his bed and set his coffee down.

"Hey I didn't do anything you gave that information away, it's not my fault you're obsessed with me." She chided, earning her an eye roll as he folded his arms at her.

"You are literally what Jim would be like as a woman."

"No im not. Just because me and Jim have this fake bravado of confidence surrounding us doesn't mean we're the same person."

"Whoa easy i was kidding."

She frumped at him sitting on the sofa with a moody huff of air escaping. "Spocks said the same thing to me once as well, i guess i'm just starting to have an identity crisis because of it. And maybe- some other stuff, you know…" She trailed off playing with a loose strand of stitching in the sofas seam. "Maybe im just a carbon copy of Jim with worse luck or something, everyone seems to love Jim, the perfect human... Then there's me this half human freak, so gullible even after graduating and becoming a doctor, that I still believed I was human." She laughed at herself glancing at Leonard and just seeing him sat stunned on the edge of his bed with this apologetic look on his face, as the tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. "I'm gunna go get changed, sorry." Grabbing her green shirt and her old worn out boxers she scurried to the bathroom.

As soon as the door closed behind her she was writhing trying to get her shirt and undershirt off in one, movements sharp and aggressive, jittering as she sobbed quietly finally getting the two items of clothing off and onto the floor in a messy heap. Before she slid down the door into a heap on the floor herself, quiet sobs racking her body as she hugged her knees to her chest. Why am I not happy. Everything is over i should be happy. Why do i feel so alone.

"I'm not alone, i'm not alone, i'm not- i have friends- Leonard hasn't said he wants rid of me, not yet. Not yet- just hasn't realised im a disgrace yet- cant even be a human properly, never going to be anything close to a true Vulcan. Im not strong enough for this, im losing everything- im gunna lose him just like im losing my mind with these stupid hightened emotions- Hes not going to remember, hes never going to say he loves me again. It hurts-" Alex muttered to herself her face pressed hard against her arms as she folded herself up smaller. It was finally happening just like spock said it would, her human side was still struggling so much with the barrage of emotions from everything going on. He told her she'd have some sort of breakdown from internalising everything, she knew it would happen as well but it didn't make anything easier. All she could do was cry, and hope leonard knew she was sorry for taking so long in his bathroom.

Leonard was at the bathroom door almost as soon as it had closed, shed done a pretty good job of blocking him out recently. But not now, he could feel her falling apart in his head, even before he pressed his palm against the door and heard her quiet ramblings. He hadn't known how much she was struggling. He hadn't had a clue, he may not remember everything but he knew one thing. He cared about her, he cared about her so much that it hurt to think he just hadn't noticed her struggling with everything. The words that were falling from her lips echoed in his mind, an accidental projection, she was scared, she was alone, she missed him. God she misses me so much even though i'm right here- fuck why cant i remember! Leonard inwardly scolded himself as he made a flash decision. Pressing the button to the bathroom door there suddenly wasn't anything between them and he sank to his knees on the floor and wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her flush against his chest as he pulled her down till they were both laid on the floor, he folded himself around her the best he could as she sobbed. Arms tight around her middle as she shook, her hands grabbing at his arms instinctively as if they were making sure he was there, telling him not to let go. Never let go. Please. Don't let go- and he wouldn't, panic attacks and breakdowns were better not experienced alone, he'd had his fair share of breakdowns and he wouldn't let her deal with them alone like he had.

I'm here, I'm here Alex- right here. it's gonna be alright sweetheart.

How can you say that when you don't know, you don't know if everythings gonna be okay. You dont know whats going on inside my head.

Leonard watched her unfold herself slowly before turning her around in his arms, they were so close like this, he glanced down at her lips, the thought of kissing her a fleeting one as he locked his eyes with those brilliant green orbs. "Then show me." The statement hung in the air for a split second before watery eyes flashed with understanding. And she stopped shaking, a strange sense of calm coming over her as she looked at him.

"Are you sure?"

"Im sure."

It was strange how he relaxed into her touch as her fingertips found his face, an odd sense of déjà vu washed over him before he felt the tips of her fingers fan out over one side of his face one finger on his cheek, one just above his temple and her thumb gently resting against the middle of his jaw. He watched her eyes close and had about a second before he felt a gentle pressure, not in his skull like he would have expected, it was just a gentle pressure everywhere. he could feel it with his entire being, closing his eyes as well he couldn't help gasping as the pressure stopped and she was there, with him, it felt almost like they were inhabiting the same body.

I know it feels strange- you'll be able to make out the difference between us soon, i haven't jumped into your skin and you haven't jumped into mine don't worry.

I keep getting glimpses of people- of myself-

Sorry, that's me, my control isn't ah- great right now, and I don't want to overwhelm you. Replaying memories is more erm complicated to, how can I say- pause and play.

I know we've done this before.

Yea- but were going to avoid that memory… if i can.

Just show me everything that's going through this damn head of yours, I might not have the past 6 months but i have the past 2 weeks. I- i don't like it when you bottle things up because you think you can't come to me. It just- it feels wrong.

Leonard ive wanted to, but I can't. You have no idea what it's like to look at you and you just… You look the same but when you look back at me everything is missing. Its like you don't even recognise me.

You don't think I want to? Alex, I have dreams that don't make any sense almost every night. You're in all of them, i don't know how to show you or i would through this damn connection. If you trust the me you remember then trust me now, i haven't changed i've just lost some time.

I do trust you, I do- I just miss you. Youre right here but you're just out of reach- ill show you- everything

Everything

Leonard could feel his pulse jump in his neck as the image flooded his mind but it wasn't his pulse, or his body. He could see Scotty, Jim, Spock and himself… all stood in the transporter room. Jim was talking but his voice was muffled. He couldn't shake the strange feeling that he'd lived this moment before, he couldn't settle in the boy that wasn't his own.

Relax Leonard, it's easier if you imagine it like seeing the world through my eyes as if its a holo vid. You'll still feel what I'm feeling though, it's easier if you don't fight against it. Emotional transference is unfortunately a definite side effect.

Alright alright, is this- when we first met- you're a cheeky son of a bitch.

Leonard could feel her amusement through their link, from both the memory and him calling her out.

You loved it

The memories came smoothly after that flitting through some of what he had to assume was the early days, throwing half hearted insults at each other with smirking mouths. The stunned look on his face before he started the breast exam, and the half flirting that went on during, what was strange was their seemed to be an overlap of feeling whenever they touched in a memory. The sensations were like he was touching but also the one being touched. He could feel his chest being prodded at as if he was Alex but at the same time he could feel his hands on her, pressing and squeezing, pinching at the plump flesh.

This is so weird

Its muscle memory coming into play it's an odd sensation I know, for the record though you're only feeling both because its a shared memory. You'd only be able to feel me being touched if it was someone else making contact.

This is amazing- oh that feels good

Leonard half moaned as he felt fingers running through his hair, could see her fingers running through his hair lazily, feel her concern, the hum of affection as she laughed at his grunt of disapproval when she removed her hand. The gentle simmering arousal as she whispered in his ear stood outside his quarters.

Well I-

Im sorry

Don't be it's something that happens right-

Leonard cursed her as she laughed at him, her smile lopsided and sweet, her voice teasing as the word sweetheart left her lips, before she winked and turned away. Gaze narrowing in on the sway of her hips as she walked away, admiring the curve of her hips and roaming over the round curves of her ass as a hot trickle of lust pooled in his gut.

Oh-

I didn't know you appreciated the uniform trousers this much-

That was- i remember it- you have no idea

He blinked and sighed as he leaned back on his closed door, could feel the pressure against his trousers as he grumbled, quietly willing the arousal away.

Leonard-

Sorry- i can't stop- i don't know how-

Its okay- its just your own memory seeping through- they're still in there somewhere remember just locked away at the moment in a sense.

Weirdly, I know exactly what you're trying to say, more embarrassed at giving the game away like I have- you know you don't need to show me just these memories-

I'm not throwing you in the deep end Leonard, we'll get there, this is- this is helping me. Just sharing this from the beginning with you is kinda therapeutic, i'll be honest i don't think i could go through everything that's been on my mind from over the last 6 months, might have to continue this tomorrow or- if you still want to kno-

I do- i'd like that. I want to know, and help, one more before we sleep?

The fond rumble of laughter filled his mind and he realised he was broadcasting his ramble of emotions and jumbled thoughts that were centred around her lips and how they must've felt against his own that first time they kissed.

Considering the memory you experienced just now that's an awfully innocent thing to be thinking about.

Is it?

The way you're thinking about it is, like you haven't kissed me before in your life.

Right now i've never even kissed you once

What's that feel like?

A mistake

Do you want to see it?

No… thats something id rather experience first hand- not right now obviously while you're-

Leonard felt his brain short circuit when he felt pressure against his lips, gentle and cautious even with her yearning for him burning down the link they shared. Eyes still shut as his own lips moved against hers, soft and sure as he felt his hand worm its way to her cheek, the emotions running between them like a live wire sparking something deep in his chest before he felt teeth against his bottom lip tugging gently. He couldn't help the gasp that escaped him as he felt the throbbing ache between her thighs, simmering and hot, desperate as she moaned quietly into his mouth. And he couldn't help pulling his hand from her face to wrap it around the small of her back to pull her close, chasing shamelessly after the sweet noise she'd just made, hunting down her arousal even as his own sparked. But the want he felt wasn't only desperate it was heartbreaking, he could feel her insecurity, her pain, as she savoured the kiss like it would be their last and he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. Her yearning for him between her legs was nothing compared to the momentous need she had to be connected to him, in any and every sense of the word and Leonard couldn't breathe suddenly. He could feel everything, what's more he could feel the pure and innocent love for him channeling through the connection in waves and he had to pull away, the sudden snapping loss of their connection winded him and left them both panting on the floor with their foreheads pressed together.

"Oh my god Leonard i'm so sorry." Her voice cracked as she opened her eyes to see him lying there with tears streaming and his eyes squeezed shut.

"Its okay, it's just, alot to take in and all at once-im sorry- im so sorry." He squeezed his eyes shut tighter realising he was crying, at this point he didn't know if it was his tears, or hers from their connection but christ he felt as though he'd been laid bare, naked and vulnerable, it scared the hell out of him. He didn't have the faintest idea how to process any of it. It was like her mind with his was a final piece of a puzzle and he'd just thrown that piece far away across the room to get lost behind a piece of furniture, it was that euphoric feeling of their connection as it bloomed in his mind that made the loss of it wind him so hard. How could he feel like this? This intensely if he didn't remember her. How could he even begin explaining any of this to her.

I need to go see Jim, maybe even talk to Spock. Christ it's come down to that-

He didn't realise he hadn't moved from the floor until he had a hand on his face and heard his name being called with a sharp edge of concern.

"Leonard, Leonard are you alright? I'm sorry- we won't do that again-" she sounded mildly panicked until he rose off the ground till he was sitting in front of her leaning forward he captured her lips in his own, feeling the wetness from her tears dampening her cheeks as he brought his hand up and cupped her face, opening his eyes he pulled back just enough to look at her as he wiped a tear away with his thumb. Green eyes were searching, damp with tears and full of hesitation as he held her gaze, their breath mingling as he held her there.

"Im sorry, you have nothing to apologise for. I gotta go, but when i get back you better be asleep, right here. Get into bed and sleep alright. I'm coming back. I just need to go see-"

"Jim." She finished for him nodding in understanding, appreciating the fact he was trying to let her know that he wasn't walking out on her.

"Yea. Hey, im fine alright, i just need you to be, i- i'm gonna do my best to remember Alex, this won't make much sense but the mind meld-" Leonard sighed as he leaned back letting his hand drop to her leg gently rubbing a circle with his thumb as he breathed deep. "It felt like id found that thing that i was missing, that thing i said the first night we spoke over comm after I hit my head."

She smiled at him then, eyes softening slightly as she relaxed, uncaring of her state of undress as they sat on the floor with tears staining their cheeks. Standing up she let out a huff of laughter at the fact she was shirtless before she offered out a hand to him on the ground. He gave her a playful smirk as he took it, hoisting himself up with a grunt till they were stood centimeters apart.

"I hope you aren't planning on sleeping in my bed like that." Leonard mumbled under his breath as his gaze drifted to her lips and saw them quirk up into a wicked smirk.

"Please, i'm still wearing far too many layers for that Chief." Leonard felt heat flood his cheeks as he felt himself twitch in his trousers rather unexpectedly.

has she actually conditioned me so that the word chief-

"Its called Pavlovian conditioning Leonard, although i thought up until now it was just me tying my hair up that got a rise out of you." She chuckled forcing herself to pull away and pick up her baggy green shirt from the bathroom floor making a show of pulling it over her head and letting it fall around her. Eyes still red and puffy she gave him a half smile at how easily they'd slipped into flirting. "Go see Jim, before i do something more stupid than kissing you." she brushed a curl out of her face as she looked at the ground with a bashful blush at her own lack of self control.

Leonard groaned internally, he wanted to go over to her and hold her face in his hands as he kìssed her, but he ordered his feet to stay still. She was too perfect, so cheeky and innocent all at the same time. "Yea… i better go before i do something equally as stupid. Listen, please don't leave, you can stay here."

No matter how complicated this gets

"I won't leave, promise. Now go." She waved him towards the door as she headed back into the bathroom giving him a warm smile that had his heart aching as the doors closed behind her.

Right, to Jims quarters.

It didn't take Leonard long to get to Jims quarters and he stalled outside of Jims door for a second, trying to figure out just what he was gunna say. He knew it was kinda late to be calling on him, everyone had finished shift hours ago and his and Alexs little mind meld had took up more time than hed realised. Hell Jim was probably asleep, along with Spock.

I better not be intterupting anything or so help me god- ill just have to come back tomorrow if that's the case

He knocked on the door and waited wringing his hands out anxiously. Not hearing any signs of movement on the other side Leonard let out a heavy sigh and braced himself with both hands on either side of the door frame, he felt tired. So tired his bones ached, his eyes felt heavy, but he still felt unsettled, couldnt relax, and he half hated the fact at the moment the only way he could relax was when he was around Alex. He'd been trying to give her space over the past week or so, didn't want to be overbearing, plus he had a sense of guilt. He knew she'd picked up on how tense he was unless she was close by, he didn't want her feeling responsible for him. Didn't want her to think he was using her in some weird psychological way because hed somehow forgotten how to chill the fuck out.

"Bones?" Jims voice came from the doorway and Leonard snapped out of his train of thought slugishly. Looking up at the messy blonde hair and concerned blue eyes of the man staring at him in nothing but pajama bottoms.

"Hey Jim." Was all Leonard could manage before Jim was pulling him into the room with a gentle grip on his shoulder.

"You look like shit Bones, whats going on what do you need? Lights 10 percent." Jim carried on dragging Leonard across the room till he was sat on the two seater sofa with him just as the lights came on with their dim glow taking them out of total darkness.

"Jim?" Came a muffled voice from the bed, Leonard couldnt help the chuckle he did as he glanced over to see Spock looking completely out of it with bed hair worse than Jims.

"Never thought id see you looking so disheveled Spock, never knew Vulcans got bed hair." Leonard made a friendly dig and watched the man try and focus in his just woke up daze.

"Leonard?" Spocks eyes suddenly went a little too wide as he looked between Jim and Leonard then back at the bed that obviously wasn't his own.

"I need your help Spock." Leonard stated plainly, he didn't enjoy the fact he had to spring it on the man like this but he was at his wits end.

"Am i dreaming, did- did you just ask Spock for help." Jim questioned smirking lightly recieving nothing but an eyeroll from Bones which in itself was odd, Jim was used to getting hypod for random digs. "Not even a comment, whats wrong Bones, we'll help best we can." Spock shifted on the bed swinging his legs over the edge so he was sat up facing the pair a few feet away.

"I need to get my memory back, I- look i can't deal with the amnesia anymore there's such a disconnect, i need you to mind meld with me Spock, if- if you're comfortable with that." Both Spock and Jims eyes went wide at that.

"Jeez Bones i thought you'd been looking run down recently but i didn't realise it was because of the memory loss."

"I haven't been sleeping well...recently not at all, i cant relax unless im around- god this sounds so stupid."

"No Leonard it does not, in fact it makes perfect sense, i should have realised sooner this was bound to happen."

"Spock, what aren't you saying?" Jim frowned at the dark haired man, they may be dating but he wasn't best pleased if he'd been withholding information that was making Bones and Alex suffer.

"It is the bond, you have both been attempting to go on as normal as you would have before you started a relationship, correct?"

Leonard looked at the ground before looking back up at Spock. "Yea, for the most part…" he sighed as he saw Spock raise a brow at him expectantly. "She er, she had a breakdown, about an hour ago, a bad one. She was trying to make camp in my office since Nyotas already room sharing so i dragged her back to my room, you know told her she could stay there, get a decent nights sleep. She was fine to start with, then shed ran into the bathroom to get changed and was just. So much pain, so many- thoughts in my head. We ended up a pile on the floor, convinced her to let me in. The meld was going fine, but she- she kissed me, ive never felt someone elses pain before Spock. I broke the connection and it felt like id been punched in the gutt. From the looks of it she felt the same thing."

"I am not suprised, the reason you are both struggling so much is because you are bonded, a bond isnt just a mental link, its something more than that. You've both been putting strain on it over the past couple of weeks due to your obvious respect for each others personal space and boundries. The bond draws you together, in your attempt at giving eachother space you have been putting strain on it. For example, youve likely had no physical contact with eachother whatsoever, not even in regards to comfort. Youve both been distancing yourselves from eachother when emotionaly, amnesia or not, you have both wanted to be around the other."

"Youve basically fucked yourselves over Bones, the link knows you have feelings for her so its trying its hardest to draw you back together, amnesia or not. Thats why recently you've literally only been able to relax around Alex and nobody else, your bodys been tryna tell you what you need." Jim added looking between Spock and Leonard before turning back to spock. "Am i right?" Jim frowned.

"Essentially, however Leonards amnesia does complicate things. It is understandable that you would not carry on your relationship with a complete loss of memory of who your bonded is. It is possible that with your conflicted emotions and confusion the bond is trying to mend itself before it is rejected… visually all i can describe this as being is a thread pulled taunt until it eventually snaps."

"That doesnt sound good." Jim grimaced. "What can we do to stop that happening cuz im guessing, thats bad news for Bones and Alex."

"What i need is to remember."

"Leonard, while you remembering would be ideal it can not be forced, i am willing to try and help you but you must both help yourselves. The fact you want your memory back suggests you do not want to get the bond removed by a healer so i am suggesting this, stop ignoring basic instincts. Go back to your quarters, tell Alex to come see me tomorrow for a detailed explanation, tell her youre acting on advice if you must, and get into bed and go to sleep."

"Youre telling me to get into bed with her." Bones deadpanned. Looking at Spock with disbelief.

"Yes." Spock said flatly. "Though i would still refrain from engaging in anything more intimate while the bond heals, That will be why the kiss during the meld was so painfull, it would not have only been painful because of Alexs emotions. Another piece of advice Leonard, do not break a meld physically before it has been broken mentally, though id suggest you come to me for some assistance before trying to meld with Alex again."

"Alright, so youre gunna try help me remember?"

"I am not a Vulcan healer but i will do my best. I only regret that you didnt feel you could come to me sooner."

"Hey Spock, its nothing against you im just… stubborn, I didnt know it was the link messing with us or i think me and Ace both would have asked you sooner... Jim just say it i know you want to." Leonard frowned turning to Jim who was trying not to smirk.

"Whos getting more ass now?"

"Feel better now you got that out your system?"

"A little."

"Good. Right, i'm gonna go get some sleep, or attempt too, or possibly get punched in the mouth." Leonard slapped his hands on his knees and stood up.

"Or probably get dragged into bed." Jim commented with a knowing look.

"Hmph, thanks for dealing with my shit at this time of night, try my best not to drop a bomb on you both at such an awkward time again."

"Anytime Bones, seriously. Now go struggle with your emotions with Alex pressed against you." Jim chirped earning him a glare.

"Your thanks has been revoked, Thanks Spock. G'night." Leonard gave Spock an appreciative nod before heading to the door and walking back out into the corridor feeling a little less tense but no more relaxed. Hopefully that was about to change. His thoughts wandering aimlessly over how this was gunna go down when he got back to his room and slid into bed.

I wonder if she's warm, actually smells the same as that scent on my sheets- what if she pushes me away and freaks out? No just explain its only sleeping and its important advice from Spock. She trusts me, and she trusts Spock. Is her skin as soft as it looks- should have paid more attention when she kissed me- what if she kisses me again

As leonard stepped into his room he saw the lump in the duvet vaguely shuffling slightly in the dark. Light automatically coming on at just 5 percent as he entered, he immediately started to get undressed.

Not completely cuz that would be really weird.

Kicking his boots off he quietly removed his trousers followed by his uniform shirts before finding a t shirt to wear to bed. He was nervous about following Spock's advice but by the sounds of it their lack of contact was becoming a huge issue to both of their health thanks to the link they shared. He just hoped to god this actually helped, at least for Alex's sake.

Sitting on the edge of the bed that hed vacated the past couple of weeks he took his socks off with a sigh. He really was exhausted, what's worse is even just being in her presence had him relaxing, she was asleep and yet he could still feel the tension leaving his shoulders. It was strange, he was absolutely terrified and also relaxed? He'd only known her a couple of weeks, and sleeping with someone well, it was very intimate. People were so vulnerable and honest while they slept, ended up entwined with each other, waking up with dead arms or aching necks just from the instinct to keep in contact. What if he crossed a line while he was asleep? What if he kissed her shoulder in an unconscious state and she flipped-

What if she just doesn't want me anymore.

Putting his head in his hands he let out a groan in frustration, hearing a faint shuffling in the sheets he started to turn his head before he felt the distinct feeling of fingertips against his lower back. The contact sent a jolt through him as he turned to see her now facing him eyes closed and moving beneath her lids, clearly dreaming with a faint smile on her face.

Wow, she's- god she's something else.

Leonard slowly slid into bed under the sheets not being able to take his eyes off her face as he took her in. Lips parted just a touch, he wanted to run his thumb across her lower lip, tilt her chin up to give her a quick kiss, wanted to feel her lips again. It was like a craving you had to deny yourself because it was unhealthy. He could see the multitude of freckles all over her face, the faded ones, the new ones, more prominent and dark from being out in the sun on new Vulcan. The short sharp hairs on the side of her head doing little to hide the pink cursive scars on her scalp, or her ear. He had to stop himself from reaching out to touch it, he knew they were sensitive thanks to Jim telling him, but he didn't want to touch because of that, he found them endearing. So elegant, just so different, strangely exotic? But maybe that's just because they were attached to a beautiful woman, he'd never found them that attractive on Spock if he was honest.

Alex grumbled across from him a frown denting her features as she fidgeted before her eyes cracked open lazily, green orbs meeting brown as she regarded him with a soft smile.

"Hi." Alex whispered, unable to help the dimples that formed in her cheeks as she smiled at him her hand reaching out till her fingertips were pressed against his chest gently, fingers splaying out across the fabric of his shirt.

"Hi." Leonard rumbled out his voice low as they watched each other, his eyes dropping to her hand on his chest as he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding in. "I got some advice from Spock-" Leonard was silenced by a finger against his lips and he felt his heart lurch into his throat at the look he was receiving, felt the tension in the air as he swallowed.

"You can explain in the morning." She hummed as she scooted closer tucking her head under his chin with a sigh. "Haven't felt this relaxed in weeks." She murmured against his chest.

Leonard felt all the tension leave him as he breathed out with a slight groan. "Same here." He hummed, face pressed into the head full of curls under him. It was strange, he felt like he was connected, grounded, as if he'd been floating around a room with anti gravity on and had just been graced with gravity's presence again as he kissed the ground under his feet.

"I thought this would be way more awkward than this."

"You know normally saying something like that makes things awkward." He chuckled into her hair, it was weird, feeling tense yet so at ease, so comfortable with the situation.

"Still not awkward though, chief.." she trailed off.

"Dont, I know you said that on purpose, im in your head remember witch." He swatted at her head playfully at her attempt at triggering his arousal in a half assed attempt to make things awkward, and the only reply he got was a muffled giggle. Turning till he was laid on his back he hummed as her head found its way to rest in the crook of his arm and her hand found its way to his chest.

"I'm in bed with you, gimme a break, my mind wanders." She huffed quietly feeling Leonards chuckle as his chest vibrated.

"I must be good if your mind wandered from sleep that fast-" Leonard coughed out a laugh as he was slapped on the chest and the redhead gawked at him with knowing eyes.

"You're unbelievable Mccoy." Alex chastised playfully as she got comfy again.

"Thanks, you're not so bad yourself." He grinned as he lay there with his eyes closed hearing her gasp then giggle.

"I'm not not bad, im great."

"Big ego."

"Smart ass."

"Posh witch."

"Fat head."

"Fat head? You think i have a big head? That's too far, im leaving." Leonard spoke seriously as he made absolutely no attempt to move, before they both burst out into quiet laughter.

"Go to sleep." Alex yawned into him, her hand finding his hip before travelling up under his shirt to rest on his chest as she played with the hair there. Not missing the sharp inhale of breath from Leonard as her fingers touched his skin. "If I was going for something else id have just went straight down, don't worry, you're safe."

"Noted." Leonard shivered, finally letting out the breath he'd been holding. Humming gently as her fingers swirled patterns on his chest, his own hand subconsciously tracing feather light patterns up and down her spine as they drifted off without another word.

Leonard grumbled as he woke up a couple of hours later, his mind comfortably hazy with not an ounce of tension in his body as he tightened his hold around the bundle of warmth beside him, pulling it flush against him feeling smooth skin under his palm.

---

"Y'r s warm." It was barely english, even less understandable as he rumbled it into the base of her neck but he felt her humm in understanding anyway as she wiggled sleepily trying to press herself even more flush against him in her sleepy need for contact, a large hand coming up to grip her hip to keep her still with another half asleep grumble.

"M'sorry." She breathed out, not entirely sure why but feeling like she needed to say it anyway.

"S okay." Leonard mumbled, hand sliding from her hip to her waist unconsciously before falling to gently rest against her stomach again. Letting out a groan into her shoulder at just how comfortable he was.

"That sounded mildly sexual." Alex mumbled as her body shook lightly with sleepy laughter, she felt Leonard smile against her neck at that as he shifted against her letting out a tiny chuckle.

"Sh't up, you're mildly sexual." Leonard grumped behind her tightening his hold on her before relaxing as he drifted off listening to the red heads steady breaths and hums as sleep found her again.

When he woke up again it was inevitably morning, if you could call it that while they were in space with no sun to rise with. Yawning Leonard struggled to open his eyes, he was even more comfy than he had been last night and there was a distinctive weight on his shoulder and across his hips pinning him to the mattress, and it was so warm. He wanted to curl even further under the duvet and never leave. He hummed quietly to himself as his hand idly pulled the weight on his hip a little further up, realising sluggishly it must have been Alex's leg as he idly rubbed circles into the smooth warm flesh just above her knee. Sighing in frustration as he realised he'd woke up with morning wood as he forced his eyes open and glanced down at the woman still fast asleep tucked into his side. Smiling as she shuffled her head further into the crook of his arm with a soft sigh.

Fuck it.

He could risk a couple more minutes sleep. Because he definitely needed as much as he could get with how bad his sleeping pattern had been the past few weeks. Was he on duty today? He couldn't remember.

You're not on duty, neither of us are.

Leonard couldn't help but chuckle quietly at the sleepy voice in his head answering his question for him. Frowning as he felt a bubble of aching arousal that he was sure wasn't his own. And just as he looked down lazily at the redhead she groaned turning away from him in bed so all he could see was the back of her head.

Don't you just hate morning glory

Leonard couldn't help but laugh at her then, his awareness of her arousal lessened a lot now they weren't touching. But still a niggling presence in the back of his mind. Inwardly proud of her for having the self control to pull away.

It can be annoying as hell, ive always wondered if women had to deal with their own version of morning wood, i mean medically i've read they can but never heard about it until now.

"Well we do and it fucking sucks, i want to die."

"It can't be that bad?" Leonard frowned, head propped up on his elbow, she genuinely looked massively uncomfortable he knew it was an annoyance when he got it but his always subsided after a minute or so, or itd leave as he got up to walk around.

"You don't have a vagina your opinion isn't valid, besides i'm pretty sure women don't get it as often as men."

Leonard scooted closer feeling her immiting way more heat than usual as he stroked her hair away from her face. He squeezed her arm gently to try and comfort her, pulling away as he got an involuntary flush of heat that went straight south with ludicrous speed.

Jesus christ.

He genuinely felt bad, he'd only got a brief glimpse and it had felt nearly maddening. Probably didn't help him being in such close proximity. "What can I do?" He soothed, his voice low as he tried not to reach out and stroke her hair as he scooted back giving her some distance.

Put your morning wood to good use.

"Coffee." Came the choked reply as Alex covered her face in embarrassment at letting that thought slip through their link. She hadn't got such a good nights sleep in weeks and now here she was making things so terribly awkward. She didn't even know if he had morning wood but of course her mind went straight to that. She could feel how tense he was down their link as he slid out from beneath the duvet and plodded over to the kitchenette, unknown to her awkwardly trying to hide his own problem the entire time.

"Sit up, staying laid down just makes it worse." Leonard frowned as he punched in the code for two coffees one with milk and 2 sugars and one black. Looking over at her as she sat up in the bed looking at least a little less flustered. Wishing he could say the same for himself as his mind wouldn't let go of the thought she'd put in his head of putting his morning wood to good use. Not a good idea, not yet at least. Taking a sip of his coffee he walked over with both mugs putting hers on the bedside table cursing as he saw her glance down at him. "Mines not as easy to hide Witch, my eyes are up here." He grumbled, turning on his heels as he went back round to his side of the bed hearing her crack into quiet laughter as he sat back down. Not being able to hide the smile that tugged at his lips as he turned to her, unable to sip her coffee because of her giggles. "What?"

"Moody." She chided still giggling having to put her cup down to get herself together.

"Course im moody, drink your coffee. I outed myself to make you it." Leonard frowned slightly still unable to stop the smile cracking on his face that her undeniably cute giggles were causing. Thankfully he now had a considerable amount of duvet covering his bottom half.

Taking a sip Alex hummed happily before pausing and turning to Leonard in slight shock.

"What? Milk and 2 sugars right- oh." Leonard paused the memory came back to him and he hadn't even realised it, he had a split second of recalling them both naked in the kitchen before he cut that trail of thought off. "Why are all the memories ive recalled so far centered around you being naked?" Leonard cocked a brow at her comically before they both started laughing.

"Favorite memories first?" Alex giggled as he swatted at her arm with a playful smirk.

"They can't all be of you undre-" Leonard stopped abruptly as his vision seemed to blur and he was in his office filled with Joy as he lifted her onto one of the countertops and kissed her, mouth ending up on her neck before pulling back and seeing her smiling wide with tears in her eyes. I can have kids Leonard, I can make little babies whenever I want. And then she was kissing him again. And then he was back in the room. Shaking lightly as he put his coffee down vaguely hearing Alex asking what was wrong beside him. "I just- got a flash of-"

"Alright alright, whatever it was you need to relax you're shaking-" Alex was in front of him then knelt on the bed beside him as she grabbed his face between both hands forcing him to look at her. "Are you good?" She watched Leonards eyes focus in on her and a small piece of recognition flood them.

"Yea." He swallowed. Eyes darting down to her lips as he moved forward slightly. "Im good." He whispered as he touched his lips to hers his hand coming up to cup her face as she kissed back just for a second before they pulled apart. Leonard couldn't move he was frozen looking at her in surprise, their noses almost touching as he let out a small embarrassed laugh. Did i just- "Sorry."

Alex let out a huff of quiet laughter as she ran her thumb across his cheek before giving him a kiss on the head then slapping the side of his face lightly. "Its okay, now back to reality mister."

"Sorry, just remembered something thats all." Leonard couldn't stop smiling as he grabbed his coffee and took a sip. Because he remembered that entire moment in his office, kissing her as she lay on the bio bed, the little bruises on her hips, how happy he'd been to tell her those results. He felt giddy as he sat there letting all those emotions sink in. It wasnt everything but it was something, something pure and real that he could hold onto. "You know, i think you're one of the strongest women i know, i mean there's Nyota obviously, but i honestly don't know any woman could have come out of all this still smiling in the end like you, especially with having to deal with me on top of everything." Leonard paused and turned to her with a genuine look of awe on his face. "You're really something sweetheart, i gotta give it to ya." He took another sip of his coffee staring of idly back ahead of him. Feeling rather than seeing her blush at his sincerity.

"I had help." Alex whispered.

"Maybe, but not enough to give others credit for. You pulled yourself through the worst of this." Leonard frowned into his mug feeling immensely guilty. "I'm sorry I didn't do more to help, as a doctor i let you down."

"As a doctor you did your job, can't treat someone who's avoiding treatment Leonard, you've got nothing to apologise for. Besides im here now arent i?" Alex put her cup down and laid back down in the bed pulling the covers up to just under her chin, before beckoning him with a finger to lay back down despite the fact they'd just had caffeine and were not likely to fall back to sleep. Rolling his eyes playfully he complied sighing as she cuddled back into the crook of his arm.

"Hey Leonard? What your favorite memory of jo?" Alex asked innocently, her voice distant but soft as she laid her arm across his middle beneath the sheets.

Leonard couldn't help but smile. The moment immediately projected to the forefront of his mind. "Thats easy, day she was born. 7.3 pounds, headful of hair already, i cried." Leonard admitted looking down at red curls fondly. "Her hands were so tiny, I was so scared i was gunna hurt her i had to sit down to hold her." Leonard laughed at himself quietly.

"I bet she was the most gorgeous baby." Alex hummed happily, feeling Leonards warmth and sheer glee down their link, the protective embracing love at the memory settling in her bones as well as his own.

"She was. Honestly it's still the most surreal thing ive ever experienced, how i helped make something so perfect, it just didn't seem possible… of course I knew all the science, the biology, and yet…"

Alex hummed into him, smiling against his skin. "It sounds amazing, keep going." Alex asked in earnest. And he did. They lay and talked for almost an hour, about babies, the gift of life, even baby names for no other reason than to pass the time and learn more about the other. Little insights into eachothers lives, why Alex was never going to name a child she had John because one of the family pets had been called john and it felt weird naming any kids she had after a dog, despite the fact she liked the name. Why Leonard prefered that he had a girl and not a boy, not because he wouldn't have raised a boy right but because society made out like men shouldn't show their feelings or cry, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able teach by example because he always put up walls and bottled everything up himself.

It was a mixture of happy and hopeful, an admittance of personal faults and ups and downs, but it was honest. It was personal, and it was weirdly freeing, being able to properly talk about things other than work and gossip, it was real in depth conversation and they inevitably ended up asleep again after a drawn out comfortable silence settled.

Until they were woke the second time, by none other than Jim Kirk strolling into the room rambling about being bored on his day off. As he lay himself across the bottom of the bed dramatically as he let out a sigh. Hearing a groan eminate from Bones at the head of the bed. Jim looked up seeing his friend with bed hair and eyes squeezed shut a little too tightly as he pulled the red head closer to him beneath the sheets and pressed his forehead more insistantly into the nape of her neck.

"Youve got to be kidding me Jim, can't you let a man enjoy his first good nights sleep in weeks."

"So the sleeping together thing worked huh? Not gunna lie if that didnt work i was gunna suggest boning, muscle memory and all that could even help trigger your memor-"

Alex cut Jim off as she squinted down at him in disbelief. "Jim… how are you this coherent so early in the morning-"

"Ive been up for hours, its 10 oclock."

"Im still gunna have to ask you to either shut up or slow down because right now i cant, i just cant function enough to have a conversation yet." Alex put a hand in the air in a stop signal before letting it drop to the bed again dramatically.

"Glad im not the only one who isnt a morning person." Leonard grumbled pulling her back by the waist again subconsciously in his groggyness till she was flush against him. Thats when he felt her stiffen slightly, Leonards brain was hazy after being woken so abrubtly and he just couldnt put together what hed possibly done wrong before-

Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Leonards eyes opened properly then in a half panic as he darted back abruptly, coughing awkwardly as he sat up. "Sorry." He glanced down at the red head who was half smiling at him trying not to laugh, giving her a brow raise at the cheek of her finding his situation amusing. "Shut up."

Jim frowmed in confusion and looked between the pair before catching Leonards glare. "What the-"

"If youre gunna stay Jim make yourself useful and make some coffee." Leonard grumbled, pulling his padd off the bedside table and scowling down at it he pulled out the stylus and started tapping away at the screen.

"Fine fine." Jim groaned as he rolled off the end of the bed and strolled towards the kitchenette, making sure to ask how Alex liked her coffee just incase she didnt drink it black like him and bones, which it turned out she didnt. Frowning at her when she requested replicated chocolate digestives though, not exactly the most healthy breakfast. He replicated them anyway and brought the packet over with her coffee earning the blond a huge smile and quiet thankyou as she rubbed at her eyes.

Sleepy women are so cute, hell even bones looks adorable after just waking up with his bed hair- ah nope frowning at me- hes ruined it.

"I could have suggested a more healthy breakfast witch- pass em here, fumbling idiot." Leonard grumbled playfully watching her struggle to open the packet of biscuits with a fond eyeroll and half smile. "Here." He passed them back watching her face light up as she wedged the packet between her thighs making a dent in the duvet as she sat up and pulled a biscuit out. Before dunking it into her coffee happily.

"Youre really weird Alex." Jim commented, laughing as she shook her head at him in protest before offering him a biscuit and holding out her coffee for him to dunk it in? Jim complied hesitantly before he took the biscuit out from its coffee hot tub and looked at it steaming before taking a bite. Eyes widening as he nodded in agreement with a moan. "T's good- its so good." Jim said between mouthfuls of biscuit.

Alex sniggered before leaning towards Leonard with an evil smirk. "Bet you Spock hears that outta his mouth on the regular."

Leonard couldnt help the roaring laughter that followed as they watched Jim proceed to choke on his biscuit while slowly getting redder, before one of them finally intervened and patted the blonds back until he could breathe again.

"I should fire you." Jim waved his hand haphazardly as he coughed the words out, still curled into himself slightly as he wheezed.

"So… exacuse my language but does Spock fuck like he talks or?" Alex trailed off watching as Jim started to grin shaking his head with a laugh.

"Ha- i see what we're doing." Jim winked at Alex as he clicked on to her attempts to make Bones uncomfortable in his own bed, sex talk prank style. " He's actually weirdly moody, like he has no patience, and he's mouthy like? At one point he called me intolerable-"

"I dont wanna hear this-" Leonard covered his ears and stared up at the ceiling with wide eyes full of betrayal.

"He's just jealous Jim." Alex laughed lightly as Leonard looked at her with shock.

"Now hold on a second im not-"

"You know i think youre right Alex, the grumpyness has slowly been coming back he probably hates the fact im getting more ass than he is-"

"I should probably tell him that sex is good for his health." Alex sighed dramatically as her and Jim devilishly talked about Leonard like he wasn't there. "Maybe itd encourage him to get laid, id make a good wing woman i think."

"Easier said than done, he's quite picky with his women."

"I could probably find some volunteers the-"

Alex was promotly cut off by a low gravelly warning as she finally looked in Leonards direction. "You watch your tongue."

Talk about me like im not here again and ill tape up that pretty mouth of yours.

Alex felt herself flush a deep shade or red at his tone and his half serious mental threat as Jim immediately countered Bones with his own rebutal, something about people wanting to stick their tongue down Leonards throat. All the while Alexs head was flooded with images of herself with her mouth gagged and her hands tied, as the hot flush spread south so suddenly she almost gasped. She didnt know if those were her thoughts or his or why that spike of arousal was so sharp but she did everything she could to will it away. No matter whos' thoughts they were though she couldn't help but notice the flush of colour in Leonards cheeks as he weakly countered Jims rebutal, looking very distracted as he did so.

Jesus christ woman, your- thats not what i meant

What? I thought those were your thoughts?

Well they damn well are now

Hey i cant help it! Stupid southern drawl-

I had no idea my voice could make a woman so weak at the knees

Im not weak at the knees im just-

Aroused?

Leonard!

"Im assuming from the fact youre both staring into your cups and ignoring me that youre mid arguement in your heads or something so im gunna go-"

"Jim, you dont have to go, we werent argueing just... talking." Alex trailed off with a half smile as an apology.

"Yea, talking. Just tellin' the witch id never trust her to be a wing woman in the first place."

"Please, i'm not being funny but i once talked two women into a threesome whilst wingmanning for a friend so to say youd be missing out would be an understatement."

"Yea, right." Leonard scoffed.

Not missing out on a damn thing with those images you conjured up floating around my head.

"I am going to kill you. Stop." Alex scowled turning on Leonard at speed as he started chuckling at her.

"Cant help it you put those thoughts in my head sweetheart." Leonard spoke casually putting his mug on the bedside table with a smirk.

"Permission to strangle him captain?"

Jim laughed lightly before responding. "Id suggest maybe saving that for the bedroom-"

"Ugh- i hate both of you, im going to brush my teeth and you both better be gone when i get back here or atleast stay bloody quiet." Alex flipped the duvet off her standing up and storming towards the bathroom not caring if her oversized shirt was riding high on her ass as her mood for some reason went from playful to livid. She knew she had no reason to be mad, she was absolutely over reacting but she didnt know why. She knew everything was meant in jest. hell, shed partly started the joking around and now she was bubbling with anger?

Its gotta be my hormones, probably due on, glad i havent been bleeding on the implant that often though, that would have been awkward to wake up too. Maybe put a pad on just incase.

There was a knock at the door and Alex looked up to where she was braced on the sink. "Jims gone, you okay? Sorry for messing with you Darlin' i was, ugh- tryna flirt, badly." Leonards muffled voice rumbled through the door and she couldnt help but smile, bless that sweet bastard actually thought she was offended by his behaviour. She pressed a button to open the bathroom door smiling at him reasuringly as she saw him leaned on the doorframe.

"No im sorry, i got snippy for no reason, mood just switched like that," Alex clicked her fingers before sighing. "It'll be hormones or something but still no excuse."

"Hormones huh?" Leonard looked her up and down contemplatively. "Need me to get you anything? Unless you brought stuff with you, i can go get you whatever you need from med bay, tam-"

"Leonard." Alex stopped him mid sentence as she giggled holding up a hand before she spoke again. "Thanks, but im okay, ive got stuff incase of an emergency, im not running low anytime soon or anything."

Not regularly enough for that.

"How regurlarly is not regularly enough? Do i need to drag your ass to medbay?"

"Seriously im fine, common side effect of some contraceptions you know this."

"How. Regularly. Is. Not. Regularly. Enough." Leonard frowned at her now his concern emminating down their link as he folded his arms in the doorway.

"About a week every three months."

"Not ideal but not uncommon, stop looking at me like that im a doctor. You considered trying the pill instead to try and get them back to being once monthly? When was the last time you had a period?"

Alex sighed, laughing to herself as she shook her head with a faint smile. He was in full doctor mode she wasnt getting out of this one without giving him his answers. "I have considered it but the implant is easier, i dont have to remember to take a tablet at the same time each day. And about 3 months ago."

"About 3 months ago? Have you done a pregnancy test recently?"

"Oh my god Leonard i am not pregnant, honestly you need to relax."

"Stupid question, highly unlikely with 2 forms of contraception being used." Leonard sighed before he looked up to see Alex wearing a questioning brow raise with her toothbrush hanging out of her mouth.

"2 forms of-"

"Condoms."

"Oh."

"What do you mean oh?"

"Well, just that we've never used them. At all."

"What. Please tell me youre joking."

"No, not joking. Why would we use them im on the implant, and they de sensitise sex alot for a guy and they just feel weird."

"So youre telling me, even i didnt suggest them? Not even once?" Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Nope, not even the first time. To be honest i dont even think you have any in your room. Oi, stop stressing, look ill do a test if itll make you feel better but im telling you now its just hormones."

"I believe you im just shocked i didnt follow my own advice, im drilling it into everyone elses heads often enough and i just jump straight in there?"

Alex started choking on her toothpaste at that and had to cough into the sink as she tried to spit the rest back out. "You were- not thinking with your brain, i think you can give yourself a break this once."

"I always think with my head." Leonard frowned at her and crossed his arms in a challenge as he cocked his brow at her, watching as she wiped her mouth on a towel and rinsed her toothbrush off.

"You were definately thinking with one of your heads but it wasnt the one on your shoulders chief." Alex mummbled avoiding eye contact with him as she muttered.

"You really think im that easily lead? Dont get me wrong Alex, i think you're damn near flawless, but you aren't irresistable." Leonard regretted the words almost as soon as they'd came out of his mouth as he saw her head snap around and one brow quirk up as she scoffed.

"You seemed to find me pretty irresistable before you smacked your head, had me bent over your desk once Leonard, you're very easy to tease."

Leonard swallowed thickly, frown firmly still in place to try and hide how tense he was but it was his sheer stubborness that made his next words leave his mouth. "Try me."

Alex smirked then, shimmying her way over till she was stood right in front of him. And he could feel it already, that heady electric tension between them that he'd felt during that first comms conversation they'd had, but it was so much stronger now, he knew more about her, had started to get familiar with her. He'd started to get more and more curious, he'd absolutely started to want her.

"You'd like that wouldn't you." Alex breathed into his ear, already in his personal space as she snaked her arms around his shoulders till she was sinfuly draped over him, pressing up against his chest just enough to make her next move a slight mystery. "Youre soo stubborn." Alex practicaly purred against his neck.

"I've heard that one before." Leonard muttered, tense as ever as he stood ramrod straight, doing his best to ignore how good it felt just having her this close, practicaly pressing herself up against him.

"Hmm ill bet, you dont have to try and prove your point, obviously under certain circumstances, say a red alert, peoples attentions are focused elsewhere, im not saying im completely irresistable. Im saying i know how to push your buttons." Alex pressed her lips against the spot just below the curve of his jaw nipping his skin between her teeth gently before she pulled away. Feeling his entire body shiver had her smirking knowingly with a cheeky look in her eyes as she looked back up at his face.

"Know you well enough to know youre like a grenade at the moment and im so good at pulling the pin out. Because its been a while hasn't it? Bet right now it feels like years when actually its been a couple of weeks."

"Your point, Witch?" Leonard raised a brow with a hint of frustration.

"Youre tense, in every sense of the word. Maybe you should treat yourself to an afternoon in with your right hand today?" Alex spoke with a suggestive lilt that had Leonard smirking.

"Maybe i will, maybe you should too, might help you stop wanting to jump me for a while."

"I'd rather wait till you can use your magic hands on me chief, much better payoff, be worth the wait." Alex joked.

"You know… you could just ask." Leonard drawled lost momentarily in the filthy thought of her fucking herself on his fingers not knowing exactly when she'd aparently barrelled through his defenses and won.

Alex licked her lower lip as a cheeky grin graced her lips and she backed up away from the older man slightly. "Look whos resolve has gone already, if you need anymore inspiration apart from that lovely image in your head, feel free to check our chat history." Alex crooned with a wink as she leaned in and gave the man a chaste kiss on the lips before leaving him stood stunned as she went to get dressed.

You are the spawn of the devil, woman

"Yea i know, but you'll be thinking im a saint when you finally get your way. Just hold on handsy mccoy, you're brain will eventually kick itself into gear."

"Handsy mccoy?" Leonard quirked a brow at her as he finally ventured out of the bathroom seeing her smoothing out her uniform shirt as she looked up at him then laughed lightheartedly.

"Hey, you said it first not me, but right now,i kinda need you in work mode not handsy mccoy mode." Alex walked over to the man gently squishing his cheeks between her palms as she looked up at him. "Well not work mode but less insanely focused on how horny you are-"

"Im not insanely-"

"Shh." Alex put a finger over his mouth with a light frown and playful eyes. "Stop talking youre making this harder. I'm on the edge of either jumping you or breaking down into tears." Alex sighed as she took a step away from him with a rather gaurded look in her eyes suddenly. "I love you, but in all seriousness, i have no idea what the plan is here, i know the link is pulling us together but i dont think you know how you actually feel yet and i can't- i won't put myself through that. Bad enough having to see you look at me after the fall and not recognise me."

"Hey." Leonard took a step towards her and lifted her chin up till he was looking into sad green orbs. "I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to do anything, we are not doing anything like that until you're ready, or i remember. But i ain't leaving sweetheart, you're stuck with me. That's if you'll have me?"

"As if you need to ask." Alex rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him into a hug which was promptly risipurcated as Leonard wrapped his arms around her back and tucked his head into the crook of her shoulder.

"You are a damn enigma woman, grabbing my attention and holding it, twice at this point. Starting to piece together why i felt heartbroken without you next to me that first night with amnesia, just couldnt understand back then why i felt so miserable surrounded by a smell i couldnt recognise but was somehow so familiar." Leonard rubbed the back of his neck almost bashfully as he pulled away from her embrace and looked down at her with a pink tint to his cheeks and an honest look in his eyes.

"I have a confession to make, i totally havent changed the sheets on my bed since you hit your head. You smell good, it was like a weirdly painful comfort." I could pretend you were asleep next to me if i closed my eyes and breathed in deep.

"Neither did i. Also not to ruin the mood but i found a red thong under my pillow a couple nights in-"

"Oh my god no-"

"I just couldnt stop thinking how the hell of all the places clothes land or even just general getting dressed and un dressed. Under my pillow?" Leonard questioned while smiling down at her with a teasing tone that had Alex giggling.

"Why didnt you say anything."

"What would you have said if you were in my shoes. 'Hey i know we were dating and now i have no memory but i found these and couldn't stop thinking about your ass in them can you please take them back?' Absolutely not. I stand by my choice to suffer in silence since its just put a grin on your face. That brings me to the drawer- oh boy was i not expecting the drawer-" Leonard continued with his playful lilt as Alex actually started to laugh harder, both hands on her stomache as he stood next to said chest of drawers. "Im getting ready for alpha shift and i pull out something pale blue and lacy and all im thinking, pre coffee; is how my junk is absolutely not gunna stay in whatever the hell i was holding. Only later on while i was eating lunch did i realise exactly what it was. I started choking on pasta, with you sat across from me all innocent and concerened. You could have warned me about the drawer!"

"I could have i just didnt know what to say!" Alex half shouted as she desolved into laughter again.

"All you had to say is dont go in the top drawer!"

"If id have said that youd have definately went in there!"

"Maybe, but i still have respect Darlin', if you'd have warned me it was personal items of yours i wouldn't have. I just wasn't prepared, at all. Also i have another question." Leonard went to his bedside table and opened the drawer pulling out something metal and hanging it from one finger out in the open watching her blush but continue laughing all the same. "Im pretty sure ive never owned a pair of handcuffs, care to explain?" Leonard raised both brows at her expectantly as he threw them casually on the bed.

Alex smiled at him playfully rolling her eyes. "They've never been used… atleast not yet."

"Yet… what have i got myself into." Leonard rolled his eyes with a playful smirk as he took them back and put them back in the drawer.

He got laughter as his reply as he turned around to see the red head wearing the cheesiest grin. The next couple of days went by in much the same way, joking, flirting, he'd even earned a pec on the cheek or 2, and then they'd get into bed at the end of the day, content and relaxed but with a tension growing between them that made them lying together a little more difficult than it had been to start.

---

Leonard watched her sleep lazily as they both lay on their side, a faint smile in the dark room as he basked in her warmth putting his forehead against hers he closed his eyes breathing out a sigh, opening them to have her looking back at him sleepy but alert. He was suddenly keenly aware of how close he was to her, not being able to breathe as his heart hammered in his ears and he watched her eyes flutter down to his mouth. He could hear every breath as she looked back up at him, a fraction closer than before before she looked down again and Leonard gave in. Coming to meet her in the middle as their lips brushed. The tiniest gasp floating to his ears as their lips met again slowly and deliberately. A hand snaking its way up his chest and neck before trailing through the hairs on his beard from underneath his jaw. Leonard couldn't help but groan as delicate fingers found their way to his hair and balled into a fist at the same time as his teeth grazed her lower lip, as a warning? as a plee? He didn't know, his head was spinning when their tongues finally met.

Something in Leonard clicked into place as he wrapped a hand around her waist under the duvet and pulled her flush against him. Her skin soft to the touch as her heat travelled through his splayed out palm as it traced up her spine under her shirt, palm to bare skin, fingertips like feathers as he traced his hands back down her back, feeling her arch into him as his lip was caught between teeth and they both moaned softly, parting for air and panting Leonard looked at her with hooded lids as he trailed the hand at her back over her hips, ghosting over her waist. Foreheads pressed together as his hand trailed up to her rib cage, thumb brushing the side of her breast as he went and his hand stuttered there as they both held their breath.

His palm grazing her this time, thumb trailing the underside of her breast as his thumb brushed over her nipple and Leonard gasped into the crook of her neck as she whimpered, her fingers coming to trail the underside of his dick through his shorts. Leonard squeezed his eyes shut as his hips stuttered forward automatically seeking that friction as he groaned breathlessly. Hand slipping to her waist and gripping tight " We shouldn't- "

Alex's pained mewl made him ache. "I know- we should stop-" Alex panted, writhing a little in pleasurable discomfort.

"We should stop… it's just-" Leonard groaned in frustration as he struggled to focus.

"It feels so good." Alex breathed, her nails grazing down his chest as she curled her hand into a fist in frustration, trying to gain some control as she squeezed her legs together.

"It does-" Leonard hummed in agreement as he finally pulled back and opened his eyes, closing them again briefly to gain some resolve against those emerald green eyes that were hot, bothered and mildly frustrated.

"But we shouldn't, not yet-"

"Yea-" Leonard agreed as they both forced their breathing to even out. Both laughing lightly at how hot and bothered they both were and how ridiculous the situation was.

"You know, im getting awfully suspicious of how smoothly things are going around here lately." Leonard commented, noting how good of a situation, even if they hadn't continued, that he was in, it had been months and there'd been no big disaster hardly even any small ones.

He promptly got slapped on the chest. "Now why would you go and say that, you've jinxed us. You don't make comments like that when we're finally catching some form a break." Alex sighed putting a hand over her eyes and chuckling lightly in disbelief.

"Cmon, nothings actually gunna happen." Leonard elbowed her as he rolled onto his back seeing the red head proper herself up on one elbow as she glowered down at him.

"Do you really believe that." She cocked a brow at him her hand coming to rest on his chest as she put her head on the pillow beside him.

"Nah, but for now we're alright… you wanna talk about just now or?" Leonard tilted his head a little looking down at the red hair tucked into his shoulder.

"Im okay if you're okay, im close to knocking you out in an attempt to make you remember though."

Leonard snickered at that, "yea i don't blame you, might be an idea for me to sleep on the couch for a couple of nights."

"You don't have to do that, we're both adults here we can stop whenever we want." She sighed into him feeling him pull her close.

"True, but did you want to stop just now?"

There was a long pause and the sound of an exasperated sigh before he got his response.

"No."

"Then we gotta play it slightly safe, because i didn't want to either, not having you agreeing in the moment and regretting it after."

"I wouldn't regret it its not like that. It's complicated."

Leonard sighed and kissed her head as he breathed the words "i know," Into her hair.

---

Yeet. We getting there. Get ready for madness.