Chapter Eighty-Three: World Gone Mad

I paced back and forth past the entrance to Anubis's Pyramid. Back and forth, back and forth, again and again.

Maybe pacing isn't the most accurate word choice? I guess I'm really just floating around in circles. Does someone need to be walking in order to be pacing? Most definitions of the word 'pace' indicate the act of pacing is measured by individual steps taken – steps which I cannot take due to my lack of legs and feet.

So am I really pacing?

Oh fuck, whatever. It doesn't matter. Pacing or no. Who cares?

My mind whirred round and round in overdrive. Thoughts endlessly spinning, if you couldn't already tell. Questions screaming to be asked.

Why wouldn't she kiss me? Like… Seriously, what the fuck?

She had no problem making out on the beach at Tyrene. Then when I caught up to her at the house, saved her butt from that underling swarm… She got all weird and wouldn't kiss me! What had changed since then?

Was it my vibe? Did I put on a creepy vibe? Too forward? Too expectant?

I guess I just assumed she would want to kiss me back. Assumption is dangerous when personal boundaries become involved. Should never assume.

Maybe it was a sense of entitlement? Did I believe myself entitled to a kiss as a result of growing up in a culture which traditionally propagates the imposition of male privilege at the expense of women?

Am I a product of rape culture?

FUCK.

All this overthinking really wasn't helping.

Cass didn't want to talk about it now. She wanted to talk later. After we finished meeting with Anubis.

I could understand that. Meeting with a Denizen was no small deal. I could understand not wanting to get mired in relationship stuff before talking to a primordial entity and receiving a shitty catch-22 Choice.

All the same, would she really be in the mood to talk about relationship stuff after receiving said shitty catch-22 Choice?

Probably not.

I guess that's the secret of talking about serious shit. There's never a right time to bring it up. Trying to find a 'right time' is just gonna make it that much more awkward when it comes tumbling out anyway.

So…

Okay, that settles that. Once Cass comes back out of the pyramid, I'll ask her what the deal is.

Or maybe first I should ask her how the conversation with Anubis went? Then ask her why she wouldn't kiss me.

Would it be awkward or selfish to jump straight to relationship shit before asking about her encounter with Anubis? Some real gut-wrenching stuff could be happening in the pyramid right now, stuff Cass could probably use a listening ear to help process, stuff I'd just be insensitively glossing over by immediately talking about me-centric things.

What kind of Choice was she getting? Cut off her ear van Gogh-style or consign our session to a doomed timeline? Flash the Black King and keep all her friends, or don't flash the Black King and lose all her friends?

I continued to 'pace' around.

God damn, how fucking long does it take a Denizen to offer a measly little Choice? Cass had to have been in there for over an hour.

I don't have a watch or any timekeeping devices, but my inner clock is rock-solid. Definitely an hour or more. What was going on in there? Did she get lost? Was Anubis just talking real fucking slow?

FUCK.

I pounded my head against the pyramid entrance once, twice, a third time… Then a fourth time…

This sucked. This really sucked. All this bullshit waiting? Suck, suck, suckity-suck.

"Cass!" I moaned, striking the pyramid's entrance with my fist. "Caaaass! What the hell are you doing in there?"

The stone door gave a loud clunk, causing me to jump in surprise. It hadn't done that the past three times I'd pounded and whined. Dust showered down as it slowly swung open.

Cass emerged ashen-faced.

Uh-oh. That wasn't the face of someone who'd just come out the other end of a warm pleasant experience. Anubis's Choice likely had not involved complimenting her intelligence and humor.

"How'd your Denizen sesh go?" I asked.

Cass did not immediately answer. "Come on," she finally said, gesturing inside. "Come in. There's a transportalizer just down the corridor we need to take."

"Oh, uh…okay." I floated into the pyramid after Cass. The corridor stretched down at a shallow decline for as far as the eye could see. Every twenty feet or so luminous yellow stone pulsed from the ceiling, illuminating the way ahead. Without them the corridor would be pitch black. "Geez, how long is this hallway?" I asked after about fifteen or twenty seconds of walking. "You walked all the way down this thing?"

"Yeah."

Silence.

Okay. Not in a talkative mood. Got it.

I'll just keep my mouth shut, then. I'll just float along, here, and keep my mouth-

"So what did he say?" The words spilled out. Fuck it. "Anubis? What'd he say? What was your Choice?"

"I, uh…" Cass swallowed loudly. "Can we talk about something else? Literally anything else."

"Anything?"

"Anything."

Okay, this is it!

I searched for the right words, but none came.

Come on, think. Fuck what I thought earlier. If ever there was a right time to bring up relationship stuff, now was it. The universe just handed me an opening on a golden platter garnished with those fancy caramel sauce designs.

Why wouldn't you kiss me back at your place? No, that won't do. Too neurotic.

Are you angry with me? Absolutely not. Too vague.

"Am I your boyfriend?" Fuck no. Too-

Cass stopped dead in her tracks.

Shit. Did I say that last one aloud? Shit.

"Sorry, I…was that awkward? That was hella awkward, wasn't it." My wings quivered a bit. I turned away and continued to float down the corridor, overcome by a sudden urge to fly far away and hunt down a rabbit. Or a snake. Or some fish. "Forget it. Sorry."

"Adam, wait-"

"No, seriously. We can forget it. It's okay. I shouldn't have brought it up."

What the fuck is wrong with me? The simplest course of action would have been to shut the hell up, but once my mouth starts running rampant on autopilot it's hard to get it to stop.

"Adam, stop." Cass still hadn't moved. "The transportalizer is back here. You passed it."

"…ah." I turned around, my eyes downcast. Too embarrassed to look at her directly.

Cass was standing next to a small square panel in the wall emblazoned with a crescent moon symbol. She tapped the panel firmly, causing it to swing gently inwards.

I hadn't even noticed it. Too busy thrashing around my inner mental thicket of pricker bushes.

"C'mon," said Cass, "let's get out of this hallway." She stepped through the opened wall panel.

I ducked in after her, swinging the panel shut behind me. I'd entered a small cylindrical chamber. Round ceiling. Circular wall made out of some sort of violet rock. The stone transportalizer in the center of the floor was the only notable feature, apart from the occasional crescent moon hieroglyph etched into the wall.

"So…" I eyed the transportalizer. "Where exactly will this take us?"

"Derse."

"Derse?" What the fuck? "Are you out of your mind? There's a fucking war raging over there."

"I'm aware. I used to wake up to it every night," Cass reminded me.

"But… What about your consorts?"

"Anubis assured me the Dwarves will be fine."

"Anubis could be a lying sack of shit!"

"No." Cass shook her head. "Denizens don't lie. It's not in their nature."

"Has he forgotten about the Dersite Navy? So long as that occupation fleet remains in orbit, what happened at Tyrene will happen all over the planet. These consorts are fucked without us."

"Since when did you care so much about the Dwarves' welfare?"

"Ever since helping the Dwarves kept us pointed in a general away-from-Derse direction."

"The occupation fleet is leaving."

"What? How do you-"

"Anubis showed me through this weird window thing," Cass cut me off, impatience creeping into her voice. "It was his assurance. Something big must have happened elsewhere in the Medium, because the Dersites are all dropping whatever they were doing and skedaddling. The Dwarves will be fine without us. Now come on, Adam, please. Before we're old."

Cass stepped toward the transportalizer, but I grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

"Not Derse," I insisted. "Anyplace but Derse. They imprisoned you. They tortured you. They murdered you."

"I have to go to Derse." Cass pulled her wrist free. "It's part of my Choice."

"Do you realize how contradictory that sounds?"

"It's not contradictory. I agreed to it."

"In exchange for what? A bottomless tap of alcoholic root beer? Telekinesis? A chance to meet Allen Ginsberg? What could possibly be worth going back to Derse? What the fuck do you get out of all this?"

Cass did not immediately answer. Her gaze grew unfocused, distant. "Potential for a happy ending," she murmured.

What?

"Hello? Earth to Cass?" I waved my hand in front of her face, snapping her out of the reverie. "Happy ending? What does that even mean?"

"It means there are tons of probabilities floating around the future, waiting to be picked from, and it doesn't take a Seer of Time to know that pretty much all of them blow."

"So, what, Anubis offered you a temporal insurance policy?"

"No, that implies a guarantee. There are no guarantees – only probabilities. And probabilities can be irrevocably altered by a single wayward choice. You think I want to go back to Derse? You think everything you just said hasn't already mentally screamed itself at me over and over? You think when I say 'Choice' I'm referring to a little snap judgment like going to the store and taking a second to decide whether I want Crest or Aquafresh, or just saying fuck it and brushing my teeth with fucking baking soda?"

Oh Jesus, she's swearing. Cass never swears.

"Cass, I-"

"No, Adam, you pressed the issue, so we're going to address the living fuck out of it-"

"CASS!" I bellowed, mustering as much of my voice as possible, interrupting her interruption of my previous interruption. "Holyfuckingshit, okay! I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry, I just…" I looked Cass right in the eyes, trying to think of the best possible thing to say in this absurd situation.

'I don't want to lose you' popped into mind, but I didn't say that. Sounded too clingy, you know, way too cliché and overdone.

There was always 'I'm afraid', which was true, but ultimately did nothing more than bring us back to square one.

"You're sorry, you just…?" Cass prompted me.

"Nothing, I just…" I glanced over at the waiting transportalizer, then back to Cass. "I miss having conversations that don't involve stupid quests or extinction or impending death, and…and not having to worry about keeping ourselves alive every second of every fucking day and… Fuck, what am I even saying? I want to have a conversation with you, Cass, a real conversation, and, and like, I'm afraid we'll never even get a chance to if we step through that stupid fucking transportalizer. We're always going going going, you know, like it never fucking stops. Always moving someplace next. When do we get to relax? Shoot the shit? Feel like real goddamn people again? Why did that stop being the norm and become a precious fucking luxury?"

Cass was silent, staring back at me, unblinking. She had such a neutral gaze it was never possible for me to tell what exactly was going on behind her eyes. I didn't say anything more, regardless. Ball was in her court now. Anything I said would just disrupt her thought flow.

She then surprised me by sitting down on the floor of the chamber and crossing her legs, leaning back against the wall.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm sitting down and taking some time to feel like a real goddamn person again. Care to join me?" she asked, patting the stone floor next to her. "I wouldn't mind having company."

"I – uh – yeah. Yes." I hovered over and slid down next to Cass, resting back against the wall. The wispy ethereal energy of my lower body tapered off and trailed away across the floor like ghosting mist from a fog machine.

"You sound surprised," Cass observed. "Did I surprise you?"

"Well, yeah, you really did," I admitted. "Didn't think you were actually gonna… I mean…"

"…have a spontaneous conversation on the floor of a chamber in Anubis's Pyramid?"

"Yeah, that sums it up pretty well. Why the change of heart?"

"What you said got me thinking and I realized you're right," Cass replied. "We're caught in a pattern of constant pressure. I just felt this impulse to change those patterns. Sit down instead of walk through the transportalizer we're obviously supposed to walk through. Forget the quest for a second. And that just made everything feel so much… Lighter? It's weird to describe."

"No, yeah, I get what you're saying, like…" I paused for a moment, allowing an equivalence to pop into my head. "When I'm in the middle of teching a show, I lose all sense of passing time. Lighting designer's jabbering in one ear. Actors offstage are constantly making noise and fucking around because they're restless. Director starts making last minute blocking changes, and the world just starts folding in on itself. But then I take a deep breath, force myself to smile and laugh. And even if I only do it for a few seconds it makes a world of difference, you know, like I suddenly remember that I chose to be part of the production, that I love working on these productions, and all the stress is gonna make a great story afterwards."

"That's exactly it – shifting perspective in the moment. Doesn't make the annoyances vanish, but it helps us remember there's more going on than just those annoyances."

"Yes! Yes!" I crowed, snapping my fingers several times. "I like that. That's a beautiful way of putting it."

Cass looked over to me, arching an inquisitive eyebrow. "You did theatre?"

"Yeah."

"…in school?"

"Yeah…?"

"How did I not know that? I don't remember seeing you in any of the shows. Who did you play?"

"Oh…" I think I blushed a little. "Uh, I didn't actually play anyone. I was stage managing."

"What's stage managing?"

"Directors craft a show, but stage managers make it happen. We send out millions of emails. We also yell at actors for being late, which happens far too often. Seriously, like, you'd think they'd get it into their heads after the fifth fucking time. Their craft involves memorizing large quantities of text, so what the hell is so hard about memorizing the call times?"

"Well. Stage managing," Cass remarked.

"Yeah. Stage managing," I echoed.

"Doesn't sound like you enjoy it very much."

"…no. I mean, I thought I did at the time, but thinking about it now… I dunno, I guess it just felt good to be so necessary and integral to the rehearsal process? To have people depending on me? Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, sounds like a maladaptive coping strategy. Combating feelings of worthlessness by putting yourself in a situation where you are sorely needed, only the situation ends up causing more stress than before."

"Wow." I swear I heard the sound of a snapping guitar string somewhere in my mind. "On point with the psychoanalysis, there."

"Sorry, was that too direct?"

"What? No…"

"I love psych - it just spilled right out. I'm really sorry."

"Cass, it's fine," I said. "I mean, I guess it's pretty obvious. Low self-esteem hides inside everyone who acts big. When socializing, my mind was always spinning in overdrive, constantly analyzing any given situation to find opportunities for witty remarks which would display how smart and cool I am, because if everyone else was convinced maybe someday I'd be convinced too. At least, that was the idea."

"Yeah, I know what that's like."

"Really?"

"You seem surprised again." Cass observed.

"Well you don't strike me as having an overactive mind. You're very quiet."

"What? No. Overthinking has nothing to do with how much I talk. I'm quiet because I usually have nothing to say. And when I have nothing to say, I'll likely say nothing. But then I'm constantly wondering why I have nothing to say."

"Lucky," I remarked.

"What makes you say that?"

"If you don't habitually blurt shit out – except when you're psychoanalyzing your friends, of course – you're less likely to create awkward situations or inadvertently hurt feelings. Isn't that a plus?"

"Maybe," Cass replied. "I'm not so sure. If you're blurting things out, maybe it's irresponsible expression of self, but still, at least you're expressing yourself. At least something is coming out, and if it's irresponsible then you can work on it and take more responsibility for what you choose to say. Get used to staying quiet enough times, in enough situations, though… Most of the time it feels like I have this gag in my throat. I get more used to watching people than actually relating to them. It's why I love reading so much. Don't have to say a thing when reading – everything is being told to you. Takes away all the pressure."

"You feel pressured to talk to people?"

"I mean… I don't know if…" Cass hesitated for a moment before pulling a one-eighty. "Yes I do. Don't you? Why else would your mind spin around as fast as you described if you didn't feel that pressure, like you had to say something to add to the group conversation? Like it's somehow not okay to have nothing to say?"

"I dunno, it's complex. It's like we believe we won't be accepted because we have nothing to say while simultaneously believing we need to share how intellectual we are in order to be accepted. But I don't think either is right, because…" I frowned, once again searching for the right words. "Well, those beliefs are in direct conflict with each other. I need to say something – I have nothing to say – But I need to say something NOW – But I have nothing to say!"

"Yeah, it just goes round and round and round until you feel like exploding."

"I screamed into pillows," I admitted.

"Me too! Sometimes I'd actually write little one-shots where I revisited an instance when I'd kept my mouth shut, only in the story I'd say what I wanted to say. Predicting what the other person would have said got tricky, though. Most of the one-shots devolved into arguments with myself until I just stopped writing them."

"Did writing help?" I asked.

"Sort of," Cass replied. She shifted into a more comfortable position, wrapping her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her knees. "Felt good expressing those repressed thoughts in some way, felt like a release. But it was short-lived because then I'd start questioning why I couldn't say these things for real. It just brought me back face to face with my insecurities, so… Well, maybe it was helpful, I guess. Can't work on insecurities if you don't look at them."

By now my mouth and face had the humming tingle that accompanies a long conversation, as if the muscles themselves were pleased at being utilized to meaningfully communicate with someone else.

Especially her.

"I wasn't ignoring you, by the way," Cass said abruptly.

"What?"

"Back there, in the hallway, when you asked if you were my boyfriend. I wasn't ignoring you. I heard what you said, I just…" she glanced down at her hands, absentmindedly twirling a lock of hair around her index finger.

My first reflex was to say, 'It's no big deal,' but I clamped down and didn't say it because it kind of is a big deal. Why lie? "I just thought we… I mean, since Tyrene, I thought... Then you didn't want to kiss me back at your house, before we got here, and…well, I've been overthinking the hell out of it. Did I do something wrong?"

"Relationships are one of my biggest insecurities. They're confusing." Cass slowly looped her hair around her remaining fingers, curling it up tight. "Some people make it seem as easy as breathing or blinking. I mean, I know it's never that simple for anyone, but… I don't know. I've tried in the past. Every relationship partner comes with a set of expectations I'm rarely willing to meet." She released her hair, allowed it to slip from her fingers. "And that was before a whole bunch of meteors fell and everything got destroyed. Our time in Tyrene was great, Adam, it really was, but…" Cass looked up at me. "Has it ever occurred to you that we don't even know each other all that well?"

"You really think that?"

"Yeah I do. You realize we only met less than a year ago? And apart from when we hung out in the auditorium during study hall, we never really started talking until after the world ended. We've been too busy trying to do this quest to really get to know each other. This feels like the first real conversation we've ever had with our guard down."

"So..." I took a breath, considered what she said. "Is this a breakup? I mean, were we ever even in a relationship to begin with? I guess it's impossible to break up something that was never constructed. Was it all in my head?"

"Adam, I like you. Really, I do. But take a good hard look at where we are right now. We are the last living humans in all creation stuck in a dimension that seems to want us dead. Relationships should be the last thing on our minds. I can't do it, right now. I just can't. I'm sorry."

Well...fuck.

I mean...

Huh.

Thought this would hurt more.

Why am I not a mess right now?

"You okay?" Cass asked me, noting my silence.

"Yeah, I..."

Fuck those meteors, man. Fuck them. Why did they have to fall? I could be dating her right now if the world hadn't ended. We could have gone to China Grill and had the awkwardest first date in the history of Earth, and it would have been glorious. Even if it was a complete disaster, it would have been glorious, and now it will never freaking happen.

Then again, no falling meteors would've meant Adam never played Sburb, which in turn meant he never would've had a dream self. I would be nonexistent.

I need to get off this line of thought before I go crazy again.

"Would you like to know a secret?" I asked.

"Depends on the secret. Will I like it?"

"Possibly."

"Alright, then, go ahead."

"I never asked you out."

"What?" Cass frowned, shaking her head once. "Yeah you did. We were texting, one thing led to another, and you asked me out. You were very cute about it, though to be honest I would have preferred it in person."

"Yeah, that wasn't me. It was Theo."

"...huh?"

"We were getting stoned out of our minds at Cruz's two nights before Apocalypse Day, and Theo fucking steals my phone. He was texting you the entire time. I didn't realize until the little shit gave my phone back the next morning. 'You now have a date with Cass Galavis Monday night. You're welcome,' he said. Then everyone else starts laughing their asses off." A bubble of laughter escaped from my throat. "My reaction was pretty hilarious. I don't blame them for laughing."

"You're dead serious?"

"Yep."

"Wow..." Cass giggled quietly. "He really had you pegged. Especially the swearing. I believed every word of it."

"They say imitation is the greatest form of flattery," I maintained. "That's how I choose to look at it."

Memories were gently swimming through my mind, triggered by the conversation's new turn.

For a moment I was back in study hall, forcing my feet to walk one labored step after another down the aisle to the row of seats where Cass was sitting quietly, listening to her ipod, engrossed in a book…

My heartbeat at the time could have outraced the Energizer Bunny.

"Where did you go?" Cass's voice brought me back to the present.

"What?"

"Just now, you went somewhere. Where'd you go?"

"I was in the auditorium. 5th Period study hall," I replied. "Apocalypse Day. You were listening to the Black Hawk Down soundtrack, remember? I sat next to you and you nearly jumped out of your skin."

"You didn't scare me, Adam, it was honestly just the music. Those intense synth strings around the 40-second mark of Synchrotone kicked in, and-"

"Oh c'mon, admit it, you got the shit scared outta you. I've listened to Synchrotone many a time, and those synth strings are not the least bit scary," I refuted. "They're sudden, yeah, but in a GET PUMPED AS WE INVADE MOGADISHU sorta way. Not scary. And that's beside the point - the real achievement was getting you to cut class for the rest of the day; which, I'll be honest, I have no freaking clue how I managed. What convinced you to be a rebel?"

"You have a knack for appealing to my inner rulebreaker," Cass replied. "It's part of what makes you unique, and I like you for it."

"Well, I…" Whatever witty comment I was thinking of making fizzled away before it left my throat. "Thank you. That's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me."

"I didn't say it to be nice, just so we're clear. I said it because it's true."

"And that's what I like about you," I said, sensing the opportunity to reflect the good vibes. "I don't think I've ever heard you tell a lie. Yeah, you don't talk much, but that's okay. Everything that does make it past your filters always has integrity."

"…you really believe that?"

"No, I know it." I nudged her with my shoulder. "C'mon, gimme some credit. I can observe people too."

"Okay." A smile crept its way in from the corners of Cass's mouth. "Thank you."

"Thank me?"

"For convincing me to sit on this floor a little while," she replied. "Having this conversation with me. Thank you. It's helped more than you know. I actually feel like myself again. I think we both needed this."

"Don't suppose it changed your mind about going through that transportalizer?"

"Afraid not." Cass's smile faded a bit as she got back up on her feet. "I think it's time to go. If I don't go now I never will."

I floated up from the floor, offered my hand to Cass. "Friends?" I asked.

Cass took my hand and pulled herself up. "Friends."

"Then let's do this. I'll go first."

"No. We go together. Same risk."

"Alright." I knew better than to argue. "Same risk."

We interlocked fingers and stepped onto the transportalizer pad.

I closed my eyes, felt the whirling pull of the teleportation device. Gave me less of a headache, less nausea if I didn't see what was happening. Better to just blink very slowly and open my eyes to a new world than witness the disassembly and snapping-back-together of molecules.

Wasn't so bad this time, actually. I didn't get a headache at all. Transportalizers used to make my head split open, but now? Just some dizziness and a twinge or two around the temples.

My first impression of Derse was one of blistering heat, followed closely by the second impression - the roar of billowing flames. My eyes opened just in time to see part of the ceiling collapse, striking the floor in a conflagration of sparks and embers.

We'd emerged in the front lobby of what appeared to be a local government building. Soon to be an ex-government building – the whole place was aflame. Scorched banners of purple and black adorned the wall, along with melting portraits of presumably mid-ranking government officials.

Sirens wailed outside. People were screaming, sobbing. Gunfire clattered in the near distance.

What the fuck happened to this place?

The room was filling up with smoke. The ceiling over the front entrance started to buckle and groan as it was licked by flames climbing the walls supporting it.

The air in here was approaching unbreathable. Cass was coughing her lungs out. Fortunately I was still holding her hand, so I started to lead her towards the entrance.

A loud CRACK ripped through the wooden ceiling panels, followed immediately thereafter by a cascade of debris from the second story office directly above. A mass of splintered wooden debris, embers, and half-melted plastic office chairs plunged through the ceiling and torpedoed into the floor, causing the entire building to shake. The front entrance was hopelessly buried.

Okay, time for Plan B.

I wrapped my arm around Cass's waist, drew her close, and launched myself at the nearest wall. I flared my wings and gave a powerful flap to propel us along. With my free hand I directed my Force into a concentrated protrusion of energy and punched it forward, blowing a gaping hole through the wall.

Cass and I barreled through the opening barely a split second before the entire wall collapsed around it. We flew across the alleyway straight into the wall of the adjacent building – I had no opportunity to slow down.

I dropped Cass just before impact, sending her skidding across the cobblestones. That was going to hurt, but at least she wouldn't hit the-

WHAM!

My shoulder plowed into the adjacent building first, followed immediately by the side of my head. Stars exploded across my vision. I bounced off the stone wall and landed in a heap on the cobblestones next to Cass.

"Ow…" Cass muttered, rolling over onto her back and sitting up. Her arms and legs had been scraped up pretty bad. Blood trickled from her nose. Her left eye was already darkening. She looked to me. "You okay?"

"I mean…" fuckfuckFUUUCK that hurt, "…apart from every inch of my body, I'm okay…here, I'll help you up-" I floated back to my 'feet' and extended a hand, only to realize I couldn't move my right arm without having the shoulder erupt in pain. It hung limp, dangling lower than it should have. "Ohhhh that hurt that really fucking HURT."

"You dislocated your shoulder." Cass picked herself back up and came over to examine me. She gently took my limp arm in her hands.

"Aw geez, you're not gonna-?"

"Yep, just let it happen." Cass started pulling on my arm.

I nearly blacked out from the pain. I'd never dislocated my shoulder before. I knew of athletes who dealt with shit like this on a regular basis – how the fuck did they do it without going insane? This was my first time and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. "Holy fuck, why are you pulling on it?!" I screeched, resisting the urge to punch a hole in the ground. "Just pop it in already!"

"It's not that simple," Cass replied. "Jerking it back in will just cause more problems. The shoulder muscles are all seized up – that's why the joint can't reset by itself. The muscles need to release. Just a little more…" She increased the pressure ever so slightly.

"FUCKFUCK OWW-" My shoulder muscles spasmed several times before finally relenting. The joint returned to its rightful position with a quiet pop. The relief was orgasmic. I may even have moaned. If I did, Cass was tactful enough not to point it out or poke fun.

An explosion rumbled in the near distance. Sounded like artillery.

"Come on, let's get out of this alley," Cass said to me, taking my hand and leading me forward. "I think I know where we are."

We emerged from the alley into a wide open square. None of the shops and buildings within the square were open. Everything was deserted. Abandoned kiosks and vendor carts littered the area. Bits of trash fluttered across the cobblestones. Only thing missing were the tumbleweeds.

In the center of the square loomed a towering obsidian obelisk. Green fire flickered from the apex.

Dersite civilians were running through the square. Many bore wounds of some form. Broken limbs, energy burns, open lacerations. They all ran east, towards us, breaking off into groups and funneling back into the streets. None of them were heading west.

"This is Greenflame Plaza," Cass explained to me. "The Wrathful Veteran staged rallies here before martial law was declared. We're somewhere on the Obsidian Moon, then, which means-"

Whatever Cass would have said next was lost when a massive shadow suddenly darkened the entire plaza. Tremors shuddered through the ground. The air vibrated gently. I looked up to the sky just in time to see the underbelly of a violet warship emerge directly overhead, scarcely a hundred feet from the rooftops.

The warship crawled across the plaza, illuminated by twin rows of glowing energy cannons lining both sides of its hull. I don't know much about futuristic weapon systems, but brightly glowing cannons clearly conveyed a message of fully charged and ready to ruin lives.

Fortunately, the warship glided past Greenflame Plaza, leaving us alone. It moved west, toward the artillery blasts, siren blares, and staccato pop of discharging energy rifles.

Okay, seriously, what the fuck is going on here?

"Cass? Any idea what's happening up there?"

"It has to be the dissenters," she replied. "No one else is capable of standing up to the commandos firm enough to warrant armed combat. They've never taken to the streets in force, before, not like this… Something big must have happened."

"What should we do?" I asked. "Should we help your dissenter friends? Is that part of your choice from Anubis?"

"Not directly, but…" Cass chewed on her lip nervously. "Gwen and Gino could be in trouble."

"I'm with you. Whatever you choose."

"Okay…okay. Let's help."

"I'll have a look ahead, then. Stay in the plaza."

"Absolutely not." Cass's hand closed around my arm as I tensed, ready to launch myself into the air. "Same risk. I will not hang back while you-"

"I'm not gonna swoop off and take on the whole damn Dersite army, Cass, I'm just gonna get an aerial peek of the meatgrinder we're about to walk into. Meet me at the western edge of the plaza. You still have your assault rifle?"

"Of course."

"Good. Have it ready. And, uh… May I bring my arm with me?"

"Oh." Cass released my arm. "I guess you need that."

"Kinda sorta."

Faint skaialight returned to Greenflame Plaza as the naval warship looming in the sky continued its westward course, taking its shadow away with it.

I think that's my cue. Time to go.

Hug her, moron.

Thanks, inner voice…

"Can I hug you, please?" I asked quickly, before I could decide to keep quiet.

"Of course." Cass smiled. "Thank you for asking."

I threw my arms around her and hugged her tight. I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to soak in as much of the experience as possible so that after the moment ended I could still return to it.

"Stay safe up there," Cass said to me as we released each other. "Don't make me have to rescue you."

"Pssh." I opened my eyes, stepped back, and sprang several feet into the air, giving my wings a chance to unfold. With three powerful wingbeats the cobbled streets fell away and I soared past the rooftops.

Only way I can experience the hug now is through memory. If that isn't bittersweet, nothing is.

As I gained altitude, more and more of the surrounding area came into view. I counted no less than eight columns of smoke obscuring their root fires, with dozens of smaller fires scattered throughout – each likely sparked by debris from one of the larger ones.

Many buildings had collapsed, clogging up the roads with rubble. Charred vehicle husks lined the streets, many still containing what remained of their drivers. Artillery bombardment had gouged craters into the cobblestones and rooftops. All the accumulated dust, ash, and smoke was forming into smog. Soon it would be very difficult to see anything past rooftop height.

More fires burned ahead, fresher fires. The smog was far thicker to the west, where the fighting was concentrated. I could not see very much of what was actually happening on the ground – too much smoke. I heard lots of energy discharge, though, and faint snippets of screaming voices.

I wondered for a second which screams came from dissenters and which came from commandos. Impossible to tell. Screams were screams.

Beyond the fires, in the distance, was a yawning crater roughly a quarter-mile across where it seemed as if the ground had opened its maw and swallowed part of the city. Massive chunks of masonry and debris from the buildings that stood where the crater now gaped littered the surrounding area for miles in every direction, however, which was odd. That meant the explosion resulting in the crater came from below, not above.

Before I could investigate, my attention was yanked back to the naval warship as its energy cannons blazed to life. Those cannons must have been building up a charge for a little while because the bolts of energy sent crackling into the mess below were massive.

Those bolts pulverized everything they hit. I saw entire buildings consumed in flashes of fiery light. I felt the barrage's impact even from several hundred feet in the air, heard the rolling echoes of the explosions ricochet across the Obsidian Moon.

Almost immediately, the dampened barrels of those energy cannons began to glow faintly as they worked on accumulating back their charge.

I have no idea how Cass planned on helping her buddies down there in the mess. Seemed like a lost cause to me, especially with this warship raining hell from above. Nothing could stand up to bombardment of this sort.

A shadowy figure appeared suddenly in my peripheral vision, hovering high in the western sky, right in the warship's path. In the time it took for me to look directly at this strange figure, I glimpsed a thicket of black bolts of energy streaking across the sky towards the warship, and then-

BLINDING WHITE LIGHT

I didn't even notice the naval warship blowing up. It all happened too fast, too many things at once.

The first thing I felt after the pulse of retina-scorching light was the rush of hot air, and by then the ship was already gone. Pieces of it arced down through the sky, slamming into the city below. The majority of the wreckage, however, plunged down at a steep angle.

Reflex kicked in, prompting me to immediately stop flying. I hovered in place while momentum carried the burning ruins of the warship over my head. The wreckage dipped down further and further until it finally caught on the rooftops and plowed straight through two whole city blocks before coming to a rest.

Holy. Freaking. Fucksauce.

If for whatever reason anyone down below had been wishing for more fire, they just got their wish back tenfold. The two blocks hit by the downed ship were completely aflame. Unrecognizable. Could anyone have survived? Certainly no one from the ship, but on the ground?

Only way to tell was to fly in and check it out real up close and personal, which was a giant fucking NO-NO.

Why did the warship blow up? What the fuck happened?

That shadowy figure. Where had it…?

I sensed Sburb knowledge simmering just beneath the surface of my mind. That black energy I saw had struck several deep chords within the part of me which identified as sprite. I held the knowledge back for the moment. Right now I needed to focus.

There! I spotted the shadowy figure – two hundred feet above me, nearly half a mile ahead. I flew in that direction to get a closer look. My prototyping with an eagle endowed me with excellent eyesight, thankfully, so I didn't need to get too close. When I got a good look at the shadowy figure, recognized the purple Derse pajamas it wore…

What? I rubbed my eyes, shaking my head. That can't be right.

I took a second good look at the shadowy figure.

Yep.

Gino.

Definitely Gino.

Why the everlasting fuck is Gino gray?

The simmering Sburb knowledge was approaching a frantic boil, clamoring to be heard. This time I allowed it to seep through.

Images of Lovecraftian creatures swam into my mind: bulbous, tentacled, thousand-mouthed million-eyed horrors lurking in the infinite dark of the Furthest Ring. Their attention was focused on a nearby Skaia – our Skaia – and I have to say, the interest they exhibited in us seemed very lacking in friendly intention.

The images were interrupted as I was violently jerked back into physicality by finding myself already in the middle of an evasive dive, dodging the black energy bolts lancing past me. The Eagle must have sensed incoming danger and reacted accordingly, saving our life yet again.

I stopped diving and leveled out, regaining my bearings. Gino hurtled towards me from above, casting bolt after bolt of his dark energy shit. Damn he's fast; he'd already closed most of the distance between us and holy shit black lightning-

The sudden alarm was enough to nudge me into that slightly dissociated state of consciousness from which the Force Aspect operated. I tucked my chin to my chest and crossed my arms in a protective X over my head, fists clenched.

My entire body tingled with Force as I brought the Aspect to bear, focused it into a protective shield around my head and upper body.

Then I launched myself straight towards Gino, meeting his attack head-on. The first of his nightmare bolts crashed into my shield, causing it to buckle. It still held, though, so I focused the rest of my energy toward propelling me faster forward.

Each bolt of dark energy that hit my shield took a little chomp out of my soul, whittling away my energy. A numb coldness crept slowly into my extremities. Little distractions whispered in my mind, trying to pull focus away from maintaining the shield and my forward momentum.

I clenched my teeth and uncrossed my arms, thrusting them forward and willing Force to do the same. My shield expanded and shot ahead of me, just like I'd done with the wall of the burning building. The shield smacked straight into Gino and shattered.

Gino hung in place, winded, part of his forehead already bruising up into an inkier shade of gray.

Seeing him up close and personal like this was pretty fucking unsettling.

Trust me, when I describe Gino as 'gray' I'm being literal to a fault. His skin had turned the color of ash. His eyes glowed sickly white. An aura of darkness clung to the outlines of his body, from which tendrils of dancing shadow snaked away and dissipated into the surrounding air.

What could possibly have happened?

"Man, what the fuck's wrong with you?!" I screamed at him. "It's me, Gino! It's me! Fucking chill out!"

He fixed me with a soulless stare. His eyes bore no trace of their old charismatic gleam. They were empty.

Gino Caiazzo is no longer in the building.

My only warning before his next attack? A blink. One measly little blink, and suddenly he's launched himself at me, concentrations of darkness building up around his arms before polarizing into more of those soul-sucking energy bolts.

The bolts were met by a hastily-projected shield of Force. I should have been quicker to project the shield, but the shock of seeing Gino in such a state caught me off guard.

This shield wasn't as good as the last one. It was already collapsing under the strength of Gino's assault by the time I could focus on reinforcing it. My only choice was to hurl myself forward and throw all possible focus on reinforcing the very center of the shield – directly above my head.

Within seconds Gino and I closed the distance between us and collided. He hit my shield, this time, rather than allowing it to hit him, releasing all that extra darkness accumulated around his arms in the process.

Too much. Too much.

I'm in trouble.

My shield absorbed the brunt of the impact and instantly broke apart— - -

I regained consciousness to a most perplexing sight: the ground seemed to be falling up at me—HOLYFUCK!

Strength and adrenaline spiked suddenly through my body. I felt my wings unfolding, felt their powerful wingbeats pushing against the air. Didn't even feel like I was the one doing it.

A small grin tugged at my mouth – my buddy the Eagle was helping out again.

The Eagle wasn't trying to arrest my fall. Already too late for that. Instead, with several strained wingbeats, it guided my fall away from the rapidly approaching rooftop, straight into a plastic and fabric sidewalk canopy.

The canopy tore, depositing me in a heap onto the cobblestones of the street.

I was facedown, breathing heavily into the cobblestones. They tasted earthy. I tried to move, but it was no use. I was burned out. Couldn't even lift my head up. This whole 'staying conscious' shindig wasn't gonna last.

As my vision blurred, I could barely make out Gino's wavering shadowy form landing further down the street.

He started walking towards me. Probably wasn't going to offer a helping hand.

Consciousness swam away, and I along with it, leaving behind only dissatisfaction.

Why'd we have to leave that chamber?