Letting Go

Marty was living in a world apart from Todd. It was a sad world, but she was getting to know the Wolecks. She was becoming acquainted to her new family. Her heart was broken, but she didn't talk to anyone about her estrangement from Todd.

Dr. Larry was such a kind soul. He cared for his patients with such compassion. He was a wonderful doctor and Marty admired that about him. As she watched Dr. Larry caring for his patients, she began thinking that she might like to be a doctor too one day and heal the sick.

Dr. Larry was a great, loving dad to Danny. He already loved Marty like his own. He was always talking to her and reading her stories. He took her with him from house to house when he went to check on his patients. Marty loved him so much. She was very happy with the Wolecks, but she always missed Todd.

She missed him with every fiber of her being. As the days went by, he hardly ever showed up at school. She knew something was wrong- terribly wrong... but she didn't know how to help him. Todd was always pushing her away. As much as she feared for him, part or her was angry at him. She contemplated telling someone about the secret he harbored but he wouldn't let her even do that. He refused to let her help him. She didn't understand and it was just so frustrating.

She sank down onto the steps of the cottage with a sigh. She put her chin in her palms, staring straight ahead. All the days were the same and lonely, without Todd.

She just didn't understand this side of him; she didn't know why he was rejecting her. Every time she made contact or tried to be his 'Something' he was just so MEAN and all she did was cry afterwards. She cried and cried, but her tears never changed anything.

At that moment, tears were in her eyes again, but she refused to let them fall. She bit her lower lip as she struggled not to cry. A little voice called out to her. Danny had came to join her on the front step.

"What's wrong, Marty?" the little boy asked.

"I'm just missing my friend," Marty managed to say in a whisper.

"Where did he go?"

"Far away... I guess."

"I am sorry you are sad," said Danny as he wrapped his little arms around her. The sweet gesture made Marty's tears gently fall. Danny was the little brother Marty had always wanted but never got to have. He was a great kid. Without Todd, he was quickly becoming her dearest friend.

The door of the cottage opened and Marty looked up to see Meredith. She was wearing a long light-blue dress. She held a small cluster of wildflowers clutched her hand. The flowers were pink and white and reminded Marty of her mother. Marty quickly wiped away her tears.

"Marty, would you like to go for a walk with me?" Merrie asked.

Marty nodded and stood, taking Danny's hand. The three would go for a walk together. It would be good for Merrie as she hardly ever left the house.

"Where are we going?" Danny asked as they walked down the dirt trail leading away from the cottage.

"I have something to show you, children," Merrie stated as they neared a small cemetery in a grove of tall trees.

Dr. Larry's parents and his little brother had been buried in the family cemetery years ago. Marty stood, looking at their graves, her little face showing her sadness. She knew what it was like losing someone she loved. She had lost her parents when she was only seven. The pain of it was like a sharp blade, tearing through her chest and grabbing at her heart.

Merrie stood over the last tiny grave in the row beside the others. It had a new shiny stone. It gleamed in comparison to the other stones. A child's name had been beautifully engraved in the stone along with the figure of a newborn lamb. Meredith knelt down slowly, laying the cluster of flowers on the infant's grave. She then rose up slowly, her eyes on the name of her precious daughter.

"Who's grave is this, Mama?" asked little Danny.

"This is your sister's grave, Daniel. Your twin," Meredith answered. "She passed away at birth."

Marty heard the pain. It was alive in Meredith's voice. It matched the sorrow she carried in heart from the loss of her parents. Meredith was struggling and hurting, too, just as she had ever since she was seven years old. Marty wanted to make her foster mother feel better. Very slowly, she reached out for Meredith's hand.

Merrie looked down, seeing Marty's tiny hand clutching hers. "I never got to hold her," said Merrie. "But she was mine. My little girl."

Marty could feel the grief and sorrow that was surrounding Merrie, from the loss of her baby girl. "Do you think that she is up there in Heaven with my parents?" Marty asked.

She tilted her little head back, looking at the sky above. She tried to look past the clouds towards Heaven. If she gazed hard enough, then maybe she would see all three of them. Maybe her parents would adopt the little baby up in the sky.

She kept staring up at clouds, waiting to see the three of them so that she would know that Merrie's baby had found a safe place up in Heaven. She wanted her to be loved, just like Danny.

Quietly, Marty spoke to her parents in her mind...

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

It's me - Marty. If you are up there, please look for a little baby girl. Baby girl Woleck. She needs someone to love her and keep her safe.

You need to do that for me, okay? Her mommy, and daddy and little brother have taken me in. They have given me a place to live and stay, warm clothes, and a bed, I get to go to school now and learn things for real! I get to eat at the dinner table with them. The Wolecks are a really nice family. They said I belong to them now since you and Daddy are so far away. I still miss you very much, but I think you'd like them if you could meet them. So, please, look after baby girl Woleck. Her mommy misses her so much.

All of My Love,
Your little girl,
Marty.

When she was done talking to her parents she let her gaze stay on the sky for a brief moment more. She tried to see them, because they had to be in the Heavens. They would see her, too, she hoped. She needed to see them before she took her eyes away.

Eventually, Marty took her eyes off the clouds. She set her gaze on Merrie. "I belong here with you," she said softly. She belonged with Meredith, Dr. Larry, and Danny, and her parents belonged up in the sky with the baby girl that was Merrie's. Marty knew it. She felt safe here with them, although she missed her parents. She missed them so much, with every ounce of her soul.

"I will always miss her," Meredith said as she spoke of her little girl. "I named her HeavenLeigh, because I knew she was going up to heaven, to be with God. But I have you now... and I have Danny."

Merrie smiled at her son. "I love you, Marty," Meredith said as she hugged her foster daughter. "I'm so glad you came into my life."

Marty hugged Meredith back, so glad that her foster mother was ready to let go of her past and embrace her future. It was time to go on living. Feeling grateful, Marty was happy that she had played a role in reviving Meredith's happiness.

"I love you, too," Marty said as she continued to hug Merrie close.

Over Merrie's shoulder, Marty glanced up at the sky. She could almost see them in the clouds - her parents and sweet little HeavenLeigh. They were all three together and they were happy. For a moment, Marty was happy, too. The happiness bubbled up inside her heart and burst, making her smile. If only she had Todd. She loved and missed him so much. Somehow she had to find her way back to him. She just didn't know how to bring him back. But she'd find a way. She knew that she would. It was just a matter of time.