I know, I know. It's been forever and another forever since I updated. I'm working three jobs and taking online college classes. Days off don't happen often, but I had three this week! So here we go. If there are any inconsistencies, please let me know. I wrote it quickly.
This chapter includes rape, and a fair amount of Lewis's perspective. This will be very dark. The flashback is from the beach house, had the maid not knocked on the door.
She was trembling. Her body was taut, like a rubber band pulled to its limits. It was ironic. Her body hadn't even learned its limits yet. No matter. He would teach them to her.
Lewis pulled her belt free from her pants and felt the resulting shudder. Was it fear? Disgust? Pain? She must be sore. She wasn't exactly a spring chicken, and her body had been shoved into some pretty tight spaces for the last four days. Lewis studied her for a moment. He could figure out why she shuddered later. He needed to keep going. His fingers reached for her pants again.
Olivia gasped for a breath, her shocked eyes glued to his hands. Her chest rose rapidly as if she had been underwater too long and her body was starved for oxygen. This couldn't be happening. Things were moving too fast.
Lewis fought a smirk. She couldn't see his amusement now. It had taken four days for her anger to dissipate. He needed to build on her fear. He needed her terrified, or this wouldn't work. He moved his fingers to her face.
When his icy fingers reached her lips, Olivia quickly closed her jaw. His fingers didn't belong there. She had adjusted to his hands on her arms, even her face. But not her lips. Those were private. She wanted to turn her head away, but she knew his fingers would follow. Or they would go somewhere else. Someplace worse.
"Better breathe while you can, sweetheart." Fingers brushed the matted hair away from her face. The old mattress creaked at his movement.
Olivia stilled as his fingers moved from her face. She knew where he was heading. And she wasn't ready. The setting sun bounced off the room's curtains and cast an orange glow over her captor. It even captured the malicious glint in his eyes. It was terrifying.
Lewis brushed his fingers against her bare stomach as he maneuvered her zipper down. A moment later, her pants were bunched around her ankles. Ripples of fear trembled through her body, but Lewis didn't slow down. Her boots were slid off and thrown across the room. The resulting thud pounded in Olivia's ears.
Cold touched her cheek, and her eyes flew open on their own accord. Blood flow rushed through her ears which gratefully drowned out the stupid seagulls. If she ever got out of this, beaches would not be the calming feature they once were.
Metal flashed as Lewis tilted the knife mere inches from her eye, bringing her focus back to him once more.
"Did you mean it? Really mean it? You'll do whatever I want?"
Her chest rose with the fight of keeping her composure. Her eyes flickered between his accusing eyes and the thick blade. Her voice wouldn't work. But she couldn't move her head – not with the knife so close. "Yeah," she croaked. Tears slipped down her face again. Grief filled her body with such a force that she could feel nothing else. Think of nothing else. How did people block this out? Wasn't that supposed to be something your body just did during an assault?
"That's a good girl," Lewis whispered. The knife traced her jawbone. "I'd hate for you to do something we'd both regret. After all," he paused and pressed the knife into her cheek. "We wouldn't want to use this on your pretty face now, would we?"
Her eyebrows furrowed with a quick breath. He had already cut her back. He didn't usually cut women's faces…did he?
Lewis leaned in closer, not satisfied with her level of fear. "Maybe I'll cut your forehead. Hm? Mess you up enough they'd have to give you a closed casket."
Casket? They were going there? Already? Olivia frantically searched his gaze. She wanted to promise him she would be good, but she had already done that. This was a power trip, albeit a horrifying one. He wanted no doubts that he was in charge. He wanted the consequences abundantly clear. In his twisted sense of justice, he couldn't punish her when the rules weren't clear-cut. That's what he was doing. Laying down in clear language what he would do to her for any struggle she made against him. But didn't he like the struggle? Her brain buzzed. She didn't know how to do this. How was she supposed to survive this? How was she supposed to keep him satisfied?
"No, your forehead wouldn't do."
Olivia cautiously eyed the knife before chancing a glance back at Lewis.
"The mortician could just give you bangs."
At that, her resolve crumbled. Her shoulders shook with the first real cry she would have in front of him. It was the red-faced, drooling kind of cry. The effort of her sobs pulled at her already aching shoulders. She couldn't do this. She wasn't ready to die. Wasn't ready to endure what he had in mind. Could they go back to the car?
Lewis cooed disgusting things in her ear as the knife slid through her shirt. It was soon in pieces and joined her discarded pants and boots on the floor. Her underclothes followed, and Olivia finally laid bare before him. He sneered as the intensity of her sobs increased.
He pulled his own pants down just enough to expose himself. She wasn't worth undressing for – not now. She needed to know her body laid in front of him for one reason. Later on, when she had fragments of herself to hang onto – then he would do skin to skin. Then, he would show her that she could hide nothing from him. For now though, he needed her bare and vulnerable. She would see him still clothed, still dignified. She would know she was only a woman. She was only there to sate him while having no say in what that meant.
His body lowered on hers, and Olivia's sobbing came to a grinding halt. Her body froze. She didn't breathe. Her fingers didn't clench. Not even a tremor passed through her.
"What are you thinking? Hm?" Lewis settled himself comfortably between her untied legs. She didn't need to be tied down yet. She had been scared into submission for now. "It's interesting. Isn't it? How divided you are right now."
Olivia took a shaky breath and kept her eyes shut. He was so close to her face. She could feel the heat of his skin on her cheek.
His eyes dropped to her heaving chest for a moment, a smile playing on his lips. "Part of you wants this just to be over. You know it's coming, and you just want to get it over with."
Olivia tucked her face behind her arm. She couldn't do this. Oh God, she couldn't do this.
"But another part of you," Lewis whispered directly into her ear. "Still thinks your friends are about to burst into this house and stop me."
Olivia shifted beneath the heavy man, panic rising at how little she could move. Why hadn't she fought harder? She shouldn't be here.
Lewis shifted forward, his length touching her entrance. "What do you think? Should I wait even longer? Give your friends a chance?"
Olivia willed her body to be still. Her breath was still ragged from her breakdown. Her racing heart was about to pump out of her rib cage, and her legs begged to be used. But she couldn't fight him. She wouldn't win. He had a knife. He had a gun. Just survive. Just survive.
He inched forward until he heard the sound he wanted. "You know what's worse than being raped the first time, detective?"
Had he asked her this in the interrogation room, she would have wiped that infuriating smirk off his face. But they weren't. She was naked. She was restrained. She was drugged. She was beaten.
He shoved forward another inch, and Olivia let out a mewling cry.
"It's not being raped the second time. Or even the third." Lewis pushed farther inside, smug satisfaction growing at the sounds Olivia made. "It's the fourth time. That's always my favorite."
Her body jerked at his movement and burning exploded between her legs. His words played in her ears without her brain's permission. Four times? He had a favorite number?
His hands moved down her skin, and she recoiled at his foreign touch. It wandered her belly and her thighs before resting on her left breast.
Lewis lowered his forehead to hers and panted lightly. "Ready to go for a ride, princess?"
Whatever that was, she decidedly didn't want it. Not with him inside her. Not with his hand clenching her breast like an anchor. Not that it mattered.
Lewis pulled out before slamming back into her. Olivia's screams echoed off the walls. He grinned. It would be a fun couple of days.
"Are you just gonna sit there?"
Lewis snapped out of his reverie and grinned at the annoyed detective. "I'd be happy to leave, officer."
"We have DNA, multiple witnesses, security footage, and purchase receipts. You're going to prison for life. Make this easier on yourself. Plead guilty."
"Making it easy is never Mr. Lewis's style," Barba interjected as he opened the interrogation room door.
"If it isn't my favorite counselor. Here to give me a copy of my son's ultrasound?"
Barba shot lasers from his eyes in response. "I'm here out of obligation. It is my duty to inform you Detective Benson has declined a paternity test. As such, you have no parental rights to the fetus."
Lewis narrowed his eyes. "That baby is mine."
Barba shrugged. "She does have a boyfriend."
Lewis scoffed. "Harvard forget to include math in your courses, counselor?"
"Oh, don't worry about what Harvard taught me. I learned many things, including how to put you away for life."
Lewis shook his head, an evil gleam in his eyes. "I can still petition for a DNA test."
Barba laid down his brief case with a smile that reached his eyes. "You see, one of those nice things about Harvard is their well-rounded education. You can't petition for paternal rights until that pesky DNA test is done. And you can't petition for a DNA test until the baby is born. The mother then has sixty days to respond. The lab then has several days to process the results. By then? You'll be in maximum security."
"You can't keep my son from me." Lewis leaned forward in his metal chair. "I know my rights."
"That's the thing about American freedom, Mr. Lewis. You are free to say what you want, do what you want, and go where you want. However, when those actions go against public safety, you lose those rights. The fetus is not a bargaining chip, Mr. Lewis. I am informing you that we are proceeding with trial, and you will not be further contacted outside of obligatory notifications. Enjoy prison." Barba pulled a stack of papers out of his briefcase and threw them in front of Lewis. "You should give these to your lawyer, assuming you find one."
Lewis narrowed his eyes as the gentlemen left the room. Olivia had ruined everything. She would pay for it during the trial, and she would pay for it after.
Olivia bit back a groan. Her insistence on taking the drive back to the city in one day seemed ignorant and ludicrous now. Her feet ached with the constant pressure of her shoes. The thick bandages on her shoulder had been pressed thin, causing the seatbelt's pressure to increase the burning in her charred shoulder. The nurses had all but bubble wrapped her for the drive, even wrapping her wrist twice to ensure it wasn't bumped. Nancy had then shooed everyone out of her room to methodically help her patient dress. She had gently slid Olivia's left arm into a sling and used surgical tape to ensure the neck strap came nowhere close to the tender right shoulder. Olivia had been grateful then. Now, the tape was burning. Her wrist was trying to swell, even though the bandages wouldn't allow it. She was hungry…or nauseated. She couldn't really tell the difference anymore.
"Wanna stop? Need the bathroom? Some food?" Brian looked anxiously over at her pale face.
"No," Olivia ground out. If she got out of this car, she was never making it back in.
"We have some snacks in the back. You're overdue for the pain meds."
"I knew that before you did," Olivia bit out.
Brian arched an eyebrow before putting his hand behind her headrest. He glanced behind them before changing lanes with ease and sliding to a stop on the shoulder.
"What are you doing?" Olivia frowned.
"Granola bar or muffin?" Brian flicked the flashers on before reaching into the backseat.
"I'm not hungry."
"Probably nauseated since the pain meds wore off. I'm sorry. We should have set a timer," Brian apologized. "Chocolate or blueberry?"
Olivia curled her lip at the thought. She couldn't lift either arm. Her left wrist was useless, thoroughly bundled as it was, and the inferno in her right shoulder methodically reminded her that moving anything connected to her shoulder would end poorly. She couldn't move. Eating required effort, and she was out of energy. "I said I wasn't hungry."
Brian met her gaze with softness. "You've been through a lot. It's okay to admit that."
"I don't want your pity," Olivia snapped. She glared at the too bright sun glaring in her window. The world was too bright today.
"Good." Brian straightened. "I'm all out of pity. Granola bar or muffin?"
Olivia's eyes narrowed, and her lips turned into thin lines.
"We're almost an hour outside the city." Brian held up the muffins. "If you get pain medicine in your body now, the pain meds will be at full force when we have to move you out of the car and into the apartment. You really want to face all that with how you're feeling right now?"
Olivia glared at him. Of course she didn't. But she couldn't move, and the days of begging someone to feed her like a spoiled toddler were gone. Lewis was gone…at least locked up. She didn't have to live like that anymore.
Brian stared expectantly at her before his gaze lowered. His shoulders slumped as he took in her bandaged left hang hanging limply in its sling. His gaze came up her right side and paused at the bulge on her shoulder. His body tensed as he recalled the bra debacle.
Olivia tore her gaze from his, tears threatening her again. She cursed under her breath. Of all the drugs offered to her, why had no one given something to stop the tears?
"The muffin would be easier than the granola bar," Brian whispered. "I could just hold it while you-"
"Absolutely not," Olivia's voice cracked.
Brian nodded slowly and took time to choose his words. "I have no idea what that creep put you through. Just reading his case files made me sick. I know that what he did to you will always be in your head. Him being behind bars doesn't mean he's gone. Not to you."
Olivia looked out the window, cursing her useless limbs. Tears slipped over her cheeks, and she squeezed her eyes shut.
"Lewis will be in your head for a long time. I wish I could reach in there and pull him out, but I can't. I know that. You know that."
Her lips quivered. She didn't want this to be true. She didn't want him to talk about this. She just wanted to sleep somewhere the pain couldn't reach. She wanted to go back to the hospital where they gave that nice sleeping medicine where even Lewis couldn't reach her.
"You survived him. You fought, and you made it. If you throw all that away, if you refuse to do something because it reminds you of Lewis, what will that do? That means Lewis still won. And I don't think you want that, Liv." Brian opened the chocolate chip muffin and pulled it out. "I'm not driving until you eat at least half this muffin and take your pain meds. And I won't tell a soul I held it for you."
Liv sniffled before glancing at him. His eyes reflected his words. She didn't want this. Her newfound pride pleaded to go without. But Lewis had made her do things far worse than this. Her pride had been deflated multiple times before. This was just one thing. One thing so she could get better. One thing so she could take those wonderful pills that dulled the pain. And there was so, so much pain.
Brian held the muffin up for her, and Olivia didn't even need to lean forward. She made quick work of the snack, and pain meds were in her system minutes later. Were this a different set of circumstances, she could almost smile at Brian's proud smile as he drove them back on the interstate. Almost. Not today. But maybe, maybe she could smile again one day.
Brian checked the time again and reluctantly turned off his car. They had been parked for almost fifteen minutes, and she was still asleep. He looked regretfully over at his sleeping girlfriend. How had he forgotten to get her pain meds in her on time? He had one job and failed. How could he be so stupid? He wouldn't forget again. He thumped his thumbs mindlessly against the steering wheel and leaned back in his seat. He was glad the hospital had given a temporary handicap pass. Parking had been a nightmare.
He caught a glimpse of Nick walking over and managed to open his door quietly.
"Hey man," Nick mumbled. "You guys ready?"
"About that," Brian rubbed his chin. "She fell asleep."
Nick glanced behind him and shrugged. "She'll sleep upstairs."
"No man, you don't get it. She only fell asleep ten minutes ago. She was awake the whole time, and she kept clenching her teeth and groaning. I don't want to wake her up now."
"The longer we wait, the worse she'll feel when we have to move her."
"She'll feel bad no matter when we moved her," Brian emphasized. "At least this way we can let her have some down time before the pain starts up again."
Nick raised an eyebrow. "That's not how it works, man. You wake her up, or I will."
"You know what?" Brian stood from the car and shrugged. "Have at it."
Nick frowned. "Seriously?"
"That car ride was bad. So if you want to wake her up, then good luck. You're on your own."
Nick cautiously stole a glance at his partner. She had been so cranky the last few days. He couldn't figure out if the quiet or the angry Olivia was scarier. "We have to get her up there."
Brian folded his arms. "I'll get the wheelchair. You wake her up."
Nick sighed and walked to the other side of the car. This was gonna be bad.