Authors note-
Hello again! Hope you enjoy this week's chapter. As always thank your for reading and reviewing! Now on to chapter 8…
-KQinsights
All right to Star Wars are reserved to Lucasfilm. I am just an admirer of the work. All rights to Promises are reserved to KQinsights.
She held onto him until her tears stopped. Until she forced her emotions far down below the surface like she had so many times before. There was no time for her feelings. She had wasted enough already. Now she needed to act, be the general and the leader she was raised to be. The stakes had never been so high.
She pushed back from Han's grasp, and he saw the change in her face. He couldn't help but cringe slightly at the person that stood before him, even as pride and love washed over him.
He had seen this act before. Had known she was acting out of necessity rather than actual feelings. Let everyone think she didn't care. That she was cold and dead inside. If it got her daughter back, she couldn't care less about what others thought.
Han placed a soft kiss on his wife's forehead. It was as an acknowledgment of her act as well as a switch in himself. He too would have to put his emotions aside. As his lips left her forehead, he flipped that switch and shoved everything down as far as he could. For Rayanna he would do it, he would suppress the urge to lose his shit.
"I need to show you something," Han said faintly as he stepped to her right and revealed the multiple feeds up on the big screen.
"Pull up the video," Han yelled to no one in particular.
In a matter of seconds, the video he had been watching moments ago took up the majority of the large screen.
The video began and they all watched in complete silence.
The room may not have made a sound, but Leia's head was anything but silent. She screamed at her past self in agony as she watched Han hand Rayanna over to Kerris, as she turned her back to her daughter, as Kerris looked right at the camera with those hell-bent eyes, as she shoved her knuckle into her daughters mouth.
Leia's face revealed nothing, but she couldn't help the tear that fell down her face as Kerris backed into the shadows and disappeared.
"Anything after that?" Leia asked, not addressing the rest of the video.
"Nothing. They just disappeared, but we have men combing through every video in this entire place. If they were on camera we will find them," Han said as guilt washed over him at the inability to do anything useful.
"So, this was planned then?" Leia asked, still not meeting Hans eyes. He was her undoing.
"It seems that way. They probably had the base scooped out in advance. It was all so easy. A chance the Resistance couldn't give up."
"We played right into their hand," Leia whispered more to herself than to her husband.
"What's that?" She asked as the video replayed over the moment Kerris put her knuckle in Rayanna's mouth.
"That's what made me flinch?"
"What?" Leia asked finally turing to Han.
"I didn't realize what it was until I watched the video again. When she offered to hold Rayanna she put her hands out in front of her. Her left hand had the red blotches form her wrists to her fingertips."
Leia's browed furrowed in question.
"Dusk Pine."
In those two words the missing pieces of the puzzle fell into place.
"It explains the blotches. Dusk Pine essentially harmless to the skin, but it leaves a mark. And it explains why Rayanna didn't make a sound when she was taken." Han said as he watched his wife process.
"And it explains why I went into labor early," Leia said, shaking her head in disbelief.
"What? How? It's an anesthetic. It only knocks you out for a couple of minutes."
"Unless give in higher doses. Or twice in a short span of time. That day, right before you came back, when I met Kerris for the first time, she offered me a glass of tea and insisted I drink it. I fell asleep seconds after finishing the glass and had this crazy dream. That must have been why Luke couldn't feel me. Why he thought something had happened to me. I was essentially shut off from the world entirely in those minutes. I chalked it to the stress at the time, but she dosed me again and I didn't even realize it.
"When?" Han demanded. They were right. This had been planned. He tried to suppress his anger, but it was determined to bubble to the surface.
"The next morning. You had left to fix the Falcon, and there was a knock at the door. Kerris had left the same glass of tea with a note wishing me well. I drank it and had contractions minutes later. It all makes sense. In high doses Dusk Pine does the opposite of its typical presentation. Instead of knocking you out it sends your body into overdrive."
"That explains the bleeding too. Your body was literally trying to force the drug out of you, and Rayanna in the process." Han scoffed. He had heard of the drug being used on battle fields for soldiers who had major injuries and needed immediate but short term medical attention, but never for something like this.
"She must have messed with the Falcon too, so we couldn't leave. If the ship had been running, in theory we could have gotten to home base before everything went completely to chaos." Leia said.
"But someone must have seen something. A medic would have no business in a hanger. She would have stuck out like a sore thumb." Han said contemplating alternatives.
"She could have changed uniform?" Leia suggested.
"Yeah, but a medic and a engineer? She had legit medical training, and you and I both know that the Empire prefers to designate a person one job and rarely do they train them in multiple fields." Han didn't get it. It all fit, but there was a slim chance she would have known how to disable the ship so thoroughly that not even Chewie or himself wasn't able to find the problem in the few hours they had worked on her.
"Han, what if she wasn't working alone?" Leia asked suddenly, as if the realization hit her in the same heartbeat as she uttered the words.
The question shot through Han, and he turned to the open room again.
"Bring up every camera surrounding the Falcon form two days ago." Again, in the next 10 seconds the room was filled with every angle of the falcon form the previous days.
The videos played and every eye watched the screen looking for that moment when…
"There! Right there!" Raymond yelled from Leia's left side. In the past few moments Han had completely neglected to notice the young kid that stood next to his wife. He must have walked Leia to the comms room after Han took off.
Raymond's fingerer pointed to a rectangle towards the left center of the large screen. The image was immediately brought up, and once again the entire room went silent as the video played at live speed.
Leia watched as the black figure emerged from the shadows and walked quickly over to the Falcon. She watched as the person yanked tiny cords form the bottom of the ship and pleaded that the figure would step into the light for just a second. The dark hood covered the face of the person, but she could tell it wasn't Kerris. She had walked with grace and authority. This person ran with more weight in their steps. His steps, she guessed by the height and body frame.
"Come on. Come on. Show your face you bastard," Leia whispered.
The video continued and the figure was just about to fade into the blackness once again when he stopped. The movement was fast. He just stopped and swiveled its head form right to left as if making sure no one saw him. As he turned right his face was covered by the shadow of his hood, but as he turned left, the light caught his face.
"Freeze it there!" Leia yelled and the screen did, "Zoom in," and once more the screen obeyed.
She knew that face. Had sat in meetings with that face. Had deflected inappropriate flirtatious gestures from that face. Lieutenant Turdo.
"Oh my God," Raymond said from behind Leia, "That's not possible…"
Han whipped his head and stared at Raymond. The movement caught Leia's eye and she followed his line of sight.
"What? You know this man?" Han demanded.
"Yes," Raymond had turned vindictive "That's Rickon Barkley. That's man killed my father," Raymond said without hesitation.
Leia looked between the both of them, not understanding the significance.
"How do you know?" Han asked trying to piece together how everything was connected.
"There was a picture I found once of the two of them in my father's old things. When my mother found the picture stashed in my dresser, she tore up the image in hysterical tears. I later came to understand who had been in that photo and why my mother had been so emotional. It was taken the day before my father left. A child never forgets the face of the man who murdered his father." His face drained of all innocence.
Han watched as the kid he thought he knew turn into a man right before his eyes. But he couldn't get shake the feeling that he was being played. Had it been a twisted game the universe had played that had lead Han and Raymond's lives to cross?
"Around here he is known as a Lieutenant Turdo," Leia said interrupting Han's thoughts, "but you're saying that 20 some years ago this man killed your father? During Rising 15 operation?"
"Yes, that is exactly what I'm saying… Wait what did you say his name was?" Raymond asked taking his eyes off the screen for the first time to look wide eyed at Leia.
"Turdo," she repeated.
"That sick fucker!" Raymond shouted. "That was my father's last name before he joined the operation! He changed it before he went in and to keep me safe, I took my mother's last name!"
Could it really be possible? Could the same man that killed Raymond's father also be the person who helped abduct his daughter? How fucked up did the universe have to be to pull this off? Han tried to wrap his brain around the coincidence, but he couldn't help the feeling that there was more to the story, or this wasn't the story at all. Could it be possible that Raymond was playing them? Lying to them to get closer to them? He had saved Han's life but was that just a ploy to get him to trust Raymond?
Contemplating the questions, he turned back to his wife and the large screen still holding the image of Lieutenant's face for everyone to see.
"I want to know every move that man made from that moment until now. I want every second accounted for. If he is still on this base, I want him in custody. I want him interrogated. I want to know everything he knows." The room exploded into conversation as each person in that room studied video after video, watching, searching, tagging, whoever that man really was.
Raymond shook his head in disgust and headed over to one of the workstations to see if he could be any help. Han turned to his wife.
She had been watching the variety of video feeds across the large screen, double and triple checking no one missed anything. All the while she had been pleading and praying for anything of substance. Something she could follow to her daughter. An answer to any of her questions. She had so many her head actually began to ache. She needed something tangible, because at that moment, all she had was a granny picture of Kerris fading into the background and Lieutenant Turdo, or whoever he was, messing with Han's ship.
As Han came up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders she flinched. Not from him but form the physical contact with another being. She was so lost in fighting her own grief and focusing on that screen that she had momentarily lost contact with the reality around her.
His touch brought her back, and the very real dread that came with it.
If Han noticed her flinch, he didn't give it away. He simply pulled her in so her back was against his chest and held her as he too searched the cameras.
Minutes passed to no avail, and then Han suddenly whispered, "I don't want you going anywhere with Raymond alone."
Leia turned her face slightly to the right, still keeping an eye on screen but also showing Han her confusion.
He saw her questioned and explained, "We don't know who to trust."
"Han, he saved your life…"
"Kerris saved yours!..." His voice raised and immediately became a whisper once more remembering their audience. "Doesn't it seem odd that a person we just met, a complete stranger only days ago, happens to have history with the same person that took our daughter? It's obvious that this had been planned for a while, what if he is trying to gain out trust…"
"Han?…"
"Leia I'm serious. This might not be over. We have to get our daughter back. That is my first priority, but I also need to keep you safe. You don't go anywhere with him alone. Do you understand?"
She wanted to fight him. Of course, he was making this about her safety. He always thought she was a damsel who needed protection and saving. But she also knew that was how he showed his love. She realized in that moment that all the people in his life had been taken from him too. His sister, his parents, his home. This was his way of coping. Plus, she had to admit that he made sense. Was this situation all some weird coincidence, or was there more at play? The fact that she couldn't answer one way or another was why she nodded.
At that, Han's relaxed only slightly. His gripped tightened around her in thanks and she turned against his chest meeting his eyes.
She could see the same pain and terror in his eyes that she knew were reflecting
in hers.
The movement made Han drop his eyes form the screen momentarily as he looked down to her.
Leia reached up and placed a soft kiss against his lips. It held none of the fiery passion from before but was another form of communication. A promise. They could trust each other.
Their lips parted and a second later Han turned to face young man in a resistance uniform.
"Sir, we found something."
Han heart began to race as he took Leia's hand in his and followed the private to a desk in the right corner of the room. Luke and Chewie were already hunched over the desk watching the monitor. As they grew close Luke looked up from the screen, "He's still here," Luke said moving aside so Han and Leia could see the live feed.
Their eyes shot to the screen.
He was just sitting there. He looked to be in the main mess hall that was only a couple of doors down from the room they were currently standing in.
"What is he doing?" Han asked, resisting the urge to turn and run for the cafeteria.
"Nothing," Luke said, shaking his head in confusion, "He's just sitting there. Why wouldn't he run? He knows Kerris is gone and odds are he knows his cover blown, why stay?"
Han's anger staring at the Lieutenant's calm face was enough to make him drop Leia's hand and turn towards the door.
"Han!" Luke yelled after his best friend, "What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to go ask him!" Han yelled not turning back to face them. He stormed out of the room and Luke, Chewie, and Raymond were close behind him.
Leia didn't move.
She honestly didn't know if she could. Taking a momentary reprieve from her thoughts, she began to feel the physical pain that radiated through her body.
She had given birth only 28 hours ago, and she was still so weak. She knew her face had paled as she watched the monitors, in fear yes, but also in physical exhaustion. Her body was at its breaking point, and if she didn't do something to fix it soon, she would be more of a liability than a useful general.
As Han stormed out of the room, Luke Chewie, and Raymond in toe, she turned to the real medic that had been in Raymond's room earlier.
He had followed Leia and Raymond form his room having taken Leia's right shoulder as Raymond took her left, helping her make her way to the comms room.
Leia took a few steps towards the medic, and made eye contact with him as she was about to stumble on the second step down the platform.
The medic immediately rushed over assuming that she was making her way to him. He ran up the remaining 4 steps and once again took her right shoulder to stabilize her.
To anyone else in the room it looked like she simply needed help down the stairs. No one would question that after the ordeal of the past two days. But after his arm wrapped around her back, Leia turned her head slightly to the medic and whispered, "I need a favor."
XX
Han shattered the glass doors of the mess hall as he slammed them open. Glass hit the floor and the entire room went silent. Every eye in the hall snapped to Han's face. Every eye but one.
The figure in the Lieutenant's uniform in the back right corner had his back turned, had not moved as the glass shattered or as the defining silence filled the space.
Han drew his blaster form his hip.
"Get out," Han demanded in a growl.
All but one quickly stood and left. No one bothered to take their food or question the murderous intent in Hans eyes as they scrambled out of the room.
The figure did no such thing. He simply reached for his coffee that sat in front of him and took a long sip. The four men stomped their way across the now empty hall with their weapons drawn.
Han sat in front of the man he knew as Lieutenant Turdo, blaster pointed at his chest.
Luke and chewie stood behind the Lieutenant on either side with their blasters pointed directly at his head. Raymond stood behind Luke, without a weapon in his hand. He had not come prepared for a fight, but he had to be here. He had to stare into the face of that man. That man that took away his mother's happiness, his happiness.
He looked exactly like the picture he had found as a boy, only slightly aged. It took every restraint in his body not to strangle the man where he sat. But he couldn't do that. Not yet. Not when he had information of where his God daughter was.
Han spoke first.
"Where is she?" He demanded
"I'm sorry general, I'm not sure I know who you are referring to," Lieutenant Turdo said putting his coffee cup down.
Luke and Chewie's grasp on their weapons tightened as they both moved the barrel of their blasters closer to his head.
"I will ask this one more time before they-" Han motioned with his blaster to his friends "-blow your head off. If you do not give me the answer I need, you will not leave this table."
He paused, trying to read the simple smile that graced his lips at his words.
"Where is my daughter?" Han demanded.
There was a long pause as the Lieutenant dropped his eyes back to his coffee that sat in front of him. Smiling once more to himself he traced his index finger around the lip of the white ceramic mug.
"Coffee is not much of a last meal, but it wasn't half bad. I guess you take what you are given."
Han knew in that moment that the Lieutenant had no intention of leaving that table alive.
Han opened his mouth once more to speak, but Raymond spoke instead.
"Do you know who I am?"
Han turned his head to the kid in disbelief. Now was not the time to settle this. They're priority was Rayanna, the kid would have his turn.
Raymond read as much on Hans face but asked again. "Do you know who I am?"
Raymond took a step towards him and stared direct intensely at his side profile.
The Lieutenant chuckled softly to himself, and then turned his face to meet Raymond's Eyes.
"Its nice to finally meet you Raymond Turdo, or at least that would have been your name had your mother not been a coward and changed it."
Raymond's every instinct told him to look away from this man sitting before him. Run from him and never look back, never recall his face, and never speak the name Turdo again. But Raymond held his stare.
"Do you know how long I have been waiting for this moment Raymond? Do you know how many hours I have dedicated to finding you?" He chuckled to himself once more, "To many. To many Raymond, but I believe we will find that it will be worth it in the end. Don't you?"
Raymond had no idea what he was talking about. His face told Han enough to take back what he had said to Leia earlier. Watching Raymond face the man who killed his father, Han could see Raymond's genuine anger and the genuine fear that lay hidden below.
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Raymond spat.
"Ah, but you will. I will let you in on a little secret Raymond. Your life has not been your own. Every decision that you have ever made has prepared you for this moment. This particular moment right here and right now. All you have to do is take it, and you will become who were meant to be."
"What are you talking about?" Raymond asked, taking another step closer.
The Lieutenant laughed once more and shook his head.
"I am disappointed in you Raymond. You act though you have no idea, but its right there. It has always been right there. You just have to put the name to it."
Raymond took another step forward. He now stood directly next to Luke, only an arm's reach away. Confusion still dripped off Raymond's face.
Shaking his head, the Lieutenant put down his coffee cup and turned his entire body towards Raymond.
"Snoke was so sure you would have figured it out by now, but I was skeptical." He shook his head once again. "Alright if I must spell it out for you I will. When you were 7, remember what happened at the river?"
Raymond's face paled.
Han saw the kids change in expression and asked, "Kid what is he talking about?"
Raymond made no attempt to answer him.
"There it is. You could never forget that day, could you? It haunted your dreams. For years you woke up screaming. Your mother did try her best to figure out why, but you never told her what the nightmares were about. You never told her about the voices."
"How do you know about that?" Raymond asked shakily.
"Oh come now Raymond, I am a little offended you don't recognize me. I know the act I have put on has been quite convincing, but really? If I must explain everything, I will."
Turdo's voice dropped three octaves between words.
Raymond grabbed the side of his head at those words and backed away.
He shook his head back and forth as he stumbled and fell.
"NO! NO! No, No, NO, No, No, NO, No, NO!" Raymond screamed as he shook back and forth.
Han was up in an instant and in front of Raymond. Luke and Chewie kept their posts with their blasters pointed at the Lieutenant's head.
"Kid! Kid! What happened? What was that?"
Raymond only shook his head harder.
"Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" Raymond shouted
"What? Make what stop?" Han asked frantically.
"Come now Raymond. There is no need for the theatrics," the Lieutenant said in the same dark voice, smiling yet again.
Raymond's eyes shot open and he stopped shaking his head. His eyes shot to his face with deadly intent.
"There he is," The smile that graced the Lieutenants face was nothing but pure evil.
Raymond got up off the ground in lighting speed. He pushed past Han and took the four steps back towards the Lieutenant. Once again with in arms reach of the man, he grabbed the blaster out of Luke's hands and thew him to the ground with unhuman like strength.
All Han could do was watch as Raymond grabbed the Lieutenant by the collar and threw him to the ground.
Raymond held the blaster to out at him, but he didn't pull the trigger.
"Do it Raymond. I know you want to. You can finally silence that voice in your head that has always told you to do all those awful things. You never did listen, did you? Only that one day."
"SHUT UP!" Raymond screamed as his index finger wrapped around the trigger.
"Make me Raymond! Do you remember how good it felt to listen the last time? Do you remember that feeling that ran through your body when you pushed that boy into the river? Do you remember the pride you felt? The joy? He had been abusing you for years and when your finally did something about it didn't if feel amazing?"
"STOP IT!" Raymond yelled again.
"Make me Raymond! Your father will be so proud!"
"My father is dead! YOU KILLED HIM!"
"Did I?" The Lieutenant turned his head from Raymond and put on the show of acting as if he was recalling the moment. "That's not how I remember it. Sure, I shot him. He really was a pain in my ass. But after all of the surgeries I can assure you, he is very much alive. He looks a little different than that picture you found when you were a kid. Has this nasty scar in his cheek from the bullet. He goes by a different name now too."
"Snoke," Han muttered.
At that the Lieutenant turned to Han "So we do have a smart one in the group. The father of our second, nonetheless."
Our second? OUR SECOND? The words shot through Han like a bullet, and he understood.
Raymond could only gape wide eyed.
No that wasn't possible. His father was dead. His father had been dead since he was a child. His mother told him so. She wouldn't have lied. But had she known? Is that why she didn't want him to joining the Resistance?
Raymond no longer cared for those answers. All he wanted to do was silence that voice. That voice that had made him throw Johnny Parker into the river that one day all those years ago. He had felt joy when he did it, Johnny had been physically and emotionally abusive for years, but that joy was what had scared Raymond. He fought that voice every day in his head for the past 11 years. He had never done any of the terrible things he was told to do.
Yet in that moment, he wanted nothing more than that voice to stop. For his head to finally be quiet for once.
His index finger began to put pressure on the trigger.
"Raymond!" Han shouted for the third time, "Raymond don't do it. Look at me. Look at me."
Raymond finger remained on the trigger, but he turned his eyes to Han's face.
"If you want to truly silence the voices you cannot pull that trigger." Han said calmly.
"Raymond, I know this man has done terrible things to you. I know that every cell in your body is telling you to pull the trigger. But I also know that is exactly what he wants you to do. He wants you to kill him. He wants you to make that choice and choose darkness over light."
He couldn't lose the kid. If he ever wanted to see his daughter again, he needed Raymond to put down the blaster.
Han made to stand, and Raymond shouted, "STOP! DON'T MOVE!"
Han raised is hand in a surrender. But continued to get up off the ground.
"Raymond. I know you're scared. I know you want to kill this man, I do too. But you have to put the blaster down. You have to trust me, Raymond. Put it down."
With his hands still raised, Han began to slowly walk closer to him.
"Raymond don't listen to him! He has no idea what your life has been like. You have fought day in and day out for silence. Now take it. Take your freedom and run." Raymond's eyes shifted back to the man.
"Raymond! Raymond look at me," reluctantly, Raymond's eyes went back to Hans.
"If you do this, if you pull that trigger you will give into the hatred. You will give into the anger. You will become one of them and the voices will never stop. They will take over."
"Don't listen to him Raymond!"
"If what he says about your father is true, if you pull that trigger you will not only become one of them, but you will also become the next Supreme Leader. You will be the second to your father, and one day my daughter will become your second. The Empire always works in twos."
That was the truth Han had figured out in the midst of the chaos. The empire was rebuilding. They needed new blood and the best way to get it was to begin again with the son of Snoke and the granddaughter of Darth Vader. Together they could build a new Empire. But Han was not going to let that happen.
"Han, I don't want to do this," Raymond whimpered as tears began to fall down his face, "I don't want to, but I have to."
"No. No you don't have to. We will look him up. We will put him in chains that take away his power. He will not be able to reach you again, and he will have failed his master. He will live in agony for the rest of his miserable life."
Han took another step closer to Raymond.
"Raymond, the only way to end this is here and now. Pull the trigger!"
"SHUT UP!" Han yelled this time.
"Han, I don't want to do this," Raymond whimpered again.
"I know kid. I know. Give me the blaster and I promise the voices will go away forever."
Han took the final step towards Raymond with his hand reaching out towards the blaster.
Raymond looked at Han as the tears continued to run down his face. He didn't want to do this. He wanted to be free, and for some reason, he believed Han would make that possible.
Han slowly made to take the blaster from Raymond, and Raymond let him.
Han quickly gave the blaster to Chewie and grabbed the kid into his arms.
"NO! Raymond NO! Kill me! Kill me! Please! PLEASE!" The Lieutenant screamed as Luke and chewie picked him up by this shoulders and dragged him out of the room.
As Hans arms wrapped around him, Raymond began to sob, and just for a moment, all the voices stopped.
XX
"Leia are you sure you want to do this?" The medic asked with the needle still hovering over her left thigh.
"Yes, I know the consequences. But I am useless in this state. I need 24 good hours and then I'll pay the price, whatever it is."
"I understand, but I'm not sure you know what this will do to you in 24 hours. Your body will shut down and…"
"Yes, I know," Leia demanded, "I just need these next few hours not feeling so weak and useless," a tear struggled its way down her face. "Please. Please, just do it already."
"Okay…" The medic said as he plunged the needle into her thigh.
The initial pain was excruciating. Every cell in her body burned and screamed for this serum to be out of her body, but she needed this, she needed strength to find her daughter.
After the pain faded, Leia sat back against the examination chair and took a few deep breaths. Once her eyes opened once more it was gone. Ever feeling of exhaustion, pain, ache, weakness was gone.
Leia jumped off the table and walked anew to go find her daughter.
Authors note-
Soooo… did you see that coming? I know it's far from cannon, but I hope you enjoyed it none the less. I would love to hear any and all of your thoughts. The next chapter should be up in three weeks. Sorry! The semester is hitting all at once, but I promise the next chapter will be worth the wait! Thank you so much for reading!
-KQinsights