When Harry woke up the next day, as he stumbled into the kitchen to get himself some black pudding and sausage, he decided that he really should run over to Richard's house as soon as he could, or... Harry looked at the clock on the wall... after noon maybe. Richard tended to set people on fire if they tried to wake him up when he was asleep...or randomly when he slept, Harry really wanted to know how he did that!
Seeing as he was still alive, he didn't want to test how fireproof he was himself yet. He might have started his journey to become a Warlock, but he had many more years to go before he could properly join the ranks of the unliving and invulnerable Harry thought grumpily. Unless he somehow died before that time of course.
Not that he wanted to remain a child forever. He shuddered at the thought. That would be the most nonthreatening Warlock EVER. All the other Warlocks would laugh at him, he was sure of it! No... He just had to wait. He sighed into his breakfast.
"I something wrong dear?" Mavis asked as she rushed from the stove to the table, before her husband could even open his mouth to ask.
"It's nothing grandma. Just thinking," Harry said, pulling himself together and smiled at her.
He really didn't want to worry his family. Most people didn't like to think about their kids – or grandkids – dying. Even if they didn't necessarily stay dead...well...not REALLY dead anyway.
Harry was still not entirely sure what the difference was, aside from the paleness and bright, glowing eyes and green blood. He smiled at himself as he remembered when he looked in the mirror that morning and thought his eyes were greener than ever.
'It must be the lack of glasses,' he thought.
The green of the iris seemed to cover an even larger area of his eyes now, making his puppy-dog eyes all the more effective, though he did scare Derek when he got up to get some water, and he swore that for a second they were glowing.
Harry had chuckled to himself at that. He loved his uncle, he really did, but he was a very sad excuse for a Satanist…scared of everything. The most he had sacrificed in his life was some cauliflower. He couldn't even kill a sheep, and the abducted girls seemed to always trick him to wash the knife or something equally stupid, and then run away.
Harry really had to hide a chuckle when said uncle walked into the room yawning, and then promptly tripped over a chair.
"Wow, brother. Elegant as always, ain't cha?"
Sharon walked in and settled Damien down into the high-chair before walking over to pick up some black pudding and stacking it on his plate, then grabbing some food for herself.
It seemed like his little brother only ever ate meat, although Harry could sympathize with that. Who wanted to eat veggies when they didn't have to? Especially when you had all this delicious food to chose from!
Harry smiled as he thought about how he would never have to worry about going hungry again and took a bit of his own black pudding. On second thought though, he didn't really feel like eating the meat of a live cow like his little brother sometimes did, but he had to admit he had never actually tried it. Who knows…maybe raw meat was good?
He suddenly wondered what Warlocks ate. He should ask Richard when he went over there he decided, as he greeted his mom.
"So Harry... Any plans for your day? Seeing as it's vacation and all I bet you have some nice, evil plans, yeah?" Sharon smiled at her son.
"Actually, I was thinking I should go see Richard. He's teaching me how to Fwoosh!" Harry said excitedly, making his mother chuckle at the sheer enthusiasm in his voice.
"Alright, sweetie. Just don't get in trouble with the law without Richard around, ya hear? Don't want to have to call in the prodigal son of your father with that bible-whore just to get you out of jail."
Sharon muttered curses under her breath at that bitch, even if Satan had promised her that it was a long, long time ago, and he swore he only did it to corrupt her, she meant nothing to him, and PLEASE put down that vase! Sharon was still a bit pissed about her. But she had to admit her son WAS a damned good lawyer…even if he had refused to join his father properly. They kept in touch on occasion though, even if they got off on the wrong foot.
Harry glanced up the clock again, wondering if it was safe to wake up Richard. You never really knew with the warlock, but it was worth a shot. He was very eager to start his lessons with him. Richard always made it so fun!
Harry quickly ate what was left of his black pudding before telling his mom he'd just be slipping over to Richard's, and he'd be back later.
The best thing that came from waking Richard was that they discovered that Harry now seemed to be flameproof.
Richard theorized it had something to do with the ritual that allowed Harry to become a Warlock, and Warlocks were generally flameproof...as well as nearly impossible to kill. Although they did need the occasional patching up, seeing as one had to find all the pieces of the Warlock before you could put him back together again.
Extras, like holes through the chest would require a healer to restore it properly. At least to restore the Warlock quickly. Richard was about to pull the blanket over his head and go back to sleep, when Harry started summoning birds from the trees and set them on fire to hurl them at him from behind a bookshelf. When they exploded, Richard couldn't help but chuckle, after which it was just not possible to go back to sleep anymore, so he got up and walked over to Harry and ruffled his hair.
"Only you, son. Only you...," Richard told him as he patted him on the back, and then walked past him to the kitchen.
Not that he intended to eat, but it was a much better place to talk than the bedroom was. Come to think of it...why was he even sleeping again? He didn't really need it...probably...ah, damn.
'It is way too early to consider philosophical questions like that,' Richard thought and walked over to the window and set a small dog riding in a pretentious woman's handbag on fire.
Then Harry set the woman's hair on fire and they laughed at the girl going from sobbing over her lost pet to screaming and running around. Honestly…did nobody know to stop, drop and roll?
Harry was grinning from ear to ear as Richard took him outside to buy him an ice cream. Well…he took him to the ice-cream stand and froze the guy who was selling it, before lifting Harry up to the counter to climb in and fetch whatever ice-creams he wanted.
A slightly cold, but very happy Harry emerged from the freezer with his arms full of ice-cream, and Richard couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that most of that would be melted long before Harry finished eating it.
He froze a small dog and used it's tail to hold it, munching on his own frozen treat. Needless to say, that people backed away slowly every single time they approached.
The cops had long since stopped patrolling the area, and the government insisted that there was absolutely nothing strange going on, while seriously contemplating just bombing the entire area. However, Surrey wasn't all that strategically important and as long as nobody talked to the press, they decided to simply let things work themselves out. Richard wasn't really much of a threat to anyone of importance at least.
It was more or less pure luck that Dumbledore had not been informed of this irregularity. Perhaps it was in part because all the little doodads and thingamabobs that measured Harry's life and the wards on number 4 Private Drive showed that everything was still working perfectly well.
Even if poor Arabella Figs had somehow had that terrible accident with the home invaders that killed her. He didn't look too much into it, the muggle police had informed her sister that these things did happen from time to time even in the best neighbourhoods, and while he grieved for the poor old lady, he did not think it would be necessary to replace his spy just yet.
Her latest reports had said that the Dursleys seemed like a perfectly normal family, even if they were a bit frugal and worked Harry a bit hard. But the Weasleys also let their kids inherit clothes, and gave their children chores to do, so it seemed perfectly normal to him.
The nagging suspicion that certain comments from Arabella made it seem like they were less than nice to their nephew...well…it was a necessary sacrifice for the greater good. He felt guilty for leaving Harry with a family that he knew wouldn't love him, but he chose to believe that he wasn't treated TOO badly, and he diligently closed his ears and rationalized away anything that suggested otherwise.
In due time he would swoop in, become the poor child's saviour, and little Harry would look to him for guidance and advice.
Dumbledore had carefully calculated how it would all turn out. He didn't want to believe anything too bad was happening to Harry, because if he knew, for sure, he'd be obligated to take him away, and so Dumbledore retreated into a state of denial, and rationalized that it was much better to not check up on him, he had his family after all.
Only the small, nagging voice in his subconscious knew that he avoided it because he was scared of what he might see...
Dumbledore popped another lemon drop into his mouth and hummed a happy song he had heard somewhere and couldn't get out of his head, while he studied his plans for the coming school year.
It was still too early to worry about Harry's moulding, for now, he would let him enjoys his childhood, without anyone who could mould his opinions of the wizarding world. He would be completely ignorant of the wizarding world, and Dumbledore would make sure he placed himself as a benevolent and beloved mentor to the kid.
'It shouldn't be too hard,' he thought, before reaching for another lemon drop.
Harry licked his ice cream happily as he was walking home. Richard had muttered something about a 'bloody elf' and had run off to do something – possibly unpleasant – to said elf, and sent Harry on his way home. With his arms full of frozen goodies, and, for some reason, humming 'Ring of Fire' 'cause it had gotten stuck on his brain when he watched Constantine last night on the telly, and the song always reminded him of Richard.
Considering that it was technically a love-song and used to convey the presence of a demon on the telly, well...Harry decided to not consider any possible meaning behind it. Either option was just plain scary.
Just as Harry was about to reach his house, he watched as two preachy looking young adults push open the white pickled fence gates and ring the doorbell and he sighed. They were so clearly Jehova's Witnesses.
He really didn't understand why those happy-happy morons kept trying to convince his family to join the rest of the sheep in their backwards, mindless 'bliss' of bending over backward to serve some asshole in the sky that didn't even bother to listen to their prayers, much less help anyone. He glared at them as his grandpa opened the door and listened to them spew their nonsense about eternal love if you just bent over and let their asshole deity fuck you over while you ran around working like a slave for a vague chance of going to an incredibly boring place when you died.
Okay... They might not have worded it quite that way, but that was what they were saying, really.
But before his grandpa could reply to them, a long...incredibly, inhumanly and slightly monstrous... tongue launched out and pulled them in, making Harry jump back in shock, before laughing his ass off as Fido spit out their sculls on the front lawn. Well...those two certainly wouldn't cause any problems for them anymore he thought and picked up one of the sculls as he walked in, tossing the other one down to Fido, so he had something to play with, even if he couldn't properly digest it.
"Yuck! You drooled all over it, Fido!" Harry grimaced at the scull. "I better wash this before putting it on my shell... Grandpa! Where's the dish-washing soap?!" Harry yelled after his grandfather.
It was surprisingly enough that Richard came with the suggestion to get Harry legally adopted by them. In one of his many run-inns with the Aurors, he found a newspaper that one of them lost in the heat of the moment, and it showed what appeared to be a rather popular speculation on The-Boy-Who-Lived, full with a theatrical description and Harry's name.
As soon as Richard realized just how famous his beloved new son was, he immediately set out to investigate this 'wizarding world' of Britain. The deeper he dug, the more irritated he became at the shenanigans of all these wizards and their idiotic hero worship.
There was a trail leading towards one Albus Dumbledore that stunk to high heavens, who also had placed him as Harry's de-facto guardian.
Richard did not like that one bit!
And so, much to the dislike of Sharon, he suggested to them that it would be for the best to call on Satan's argumentative, estrange lawyer son.
Sharon, much as she hated the reminder that Satan had had another mistress before his kinda-sorta-marriage with her, understood the importance of calling Kevin Lomax in his new, luxury apartment in New York.
He had been exceptionally pissed off at his father the first time around, but he couldn't help but get dragged back into the spotlight, even if he was determinate not to leave his wife to his own demises at this time. Satan was absolutely thrilled to see his son again, although he worried about Sharon's jealously flaring up. Boy did she have a temper!
It didn't take long before Kevin was seated on a plane headed for England.
He passed the irritatingly long flight time by studying up on British law, and British wizarding law especially, searching for any and all loopholes to make this adoption pass by without notice.
Once Satan had been yelled at, and was finally able to explain why he was needed, Kevin was almost jumping with joy at the chance to redeem himself for his former sins by helping this poor, young child to escape abusive relatives and people who sought to manipulate him for his fame. Nobody understood better than Kevin how horrible it felt to be manipulated, and he mentally glared at his father once again. Not all the money in the world could make up for THAT. He'd be damned if he'd let a young child suffer something that mentally scaring!
Albus Dumbledore would never have guessed in a million years the shit-storm that was about to hit the British wizarding community, with himself right in the middle of it...
Harry was staring at Diagon Ally in amazement, and Diagon Ally was staring back.
To be fair, it wasn't every day a family wearing bright red robes with a pentagram on the front, accompanied by a stranger dressed in all black with a veil across his face, topped off with a serious looking man in a muggle dress and wandered down the streets towards Gringotts. However, weirder things had happened and the wizards soon went back to their own daily shopping, especially after a few...shall we say homicidal looking...glares from Richard.
It was a very good thing that Harry had let his hair grown out. In addition, the clothes he wore and the people he was with…let's just say it all clashed spectacularly with what the wizarding population assumed The Boy Who Lived would look like. Therefor nobody even considered the possibility that the kid in their midst might be THE Harry Potter.
Richard walked up to one on the guard-goblin outside of Gringotts. He proceeded to stare at it. Moving his face even closer, he stared at it intently as the others walked inside. It was an unsettling look.
"Have I seen you before?"
Now... Goblins were a strong race of warriors. They loved gold and a good fight. They were rumoured to not know fear.
This goblin, however, was shaking in his boots. The spear dropped out of his hand, and his partner on the other side didn't look much better.
"Now I remember where I've seen you!" Richard snapped his fingers before pulling away and walking into the bank whistling a happy tune.
The goblin whimpered in relief and considered to be the first goblin ever to take out a sick-day...or ten...depending on whether or not that...that...THING...decided to come back!
As soon as the tellers saw him, the goblins whimpered in fear and sent someone to fetch the director. The wizards, whom were unfamiliar with Richard and his reputation, merely looked at them in shocked surprise.
They felt more than a little relieved when the whole family was quickly ushered into a secure room.
A secure, heavily warded, non-flammable room.
The goblin behind the stone desk that was merged into the floor was whimpering, but doing his best to pull himself together. Why, oh, WHY hadn't he married that ugly, poor girl that liked him?! They made him deal with this horrifying Warlock because he had no family that would miss him. He now regretted his choice deeply.
Richard pushed at Harry's back.
"Go on, son. You need to learn to take care of these things yourself," Richard said.
The goblin whimpered again at the realization that this maniac now had a SON. He was probably training him to be just as dangerous and crazy as his father. However... The second Harry introduced himself, that whimpering turned into laughter. A high-pitched, slightly maniacal laughter. Oh, how the rest of the goblins would LOVE this when he told them! The wizard's poster-boy was a Warlock-in-Training...
Those damned Wizards would never know what hit them!
"So, Mr. P...DeVille," The goblin said. "As you seem to be unaware of this, it is my duty to inform you that the Potter family is one of our oldest clients. Your wealth is in line with the older pureblood families like the Malfoys and the Blacks."
Harry blinked. He had money? A lot of money?! He blinked again.
It had taken all of an hour to get everything sorted out with Harry's estates and money, and getting him a G-Card, which worked like a muggle credit card, apparently, both in the wizarding world and in the muggle world. Harry thought it just looked like some weird kind of Gold Visa or just...gold. He decided not to question it.
"Alright. Now, Richard, Sharon. You sign here. And here. And here. Aaaand here," Kevin went over the adoption papers with Harry's parents. "Alright, and now..." Kevin sighed heavily and gritted his teeth. He was still pretty pissed off at the shit his father had pulled last time.
"Where's that good-for-nothing father of mine... Ours now I suppose." It took his entire lawyer training to remain professional.
"Oh, I'll call him!" Sharon said grinning.
She felt a lot better about Kevin now that she knew he had rejected being the heir, and her own son...sons...would be the ones their daddy loved the most! Damien would still be the one to bring about the Apocalypse! Plus, this guy's mother was an old, ugly hag now anyway, so she wasn't even a treat!
Sharon felt positively gleeful as she pulled out a bottle of sheep's blood and started drawing a summoning circle, with the goblin watching her exasperatedly. At the very least, Richard was amusing himself by saying hi to his various adopted 'children' of various species, which he kept in his bag. At least he wouldn't be causing any trouble it seemed.
It took another hour for Satan to sign everything, and for him and Richard to have a small fight over whom should be allowed to blood adopt Harry. After the entire family had fled the room, and the goblin was a shivering mess under his reinforced desk, they all discovered that, apparently, even Satan himself was scared of Richard.
The new goblin that was to perform the blood adoption ritual, where Harry was adopted by Sharon and Richard, was thoroughly traumatized as he watched the greenish slug that the Warlock called blood, combined with Sharon's blood and various other components being chugged down by the kid without as much as a hesitation.
"I've tasted worse," was all Harry said, which made the goblin...and several family members...question what kind of taste-buds the child even had.
Of course, both Harry and Richard knew that his taste-buds might have...died...a little, in the ritual to transform him into a proper, undead, Warlock.
Several hours later, when the potion really kicked in and began to re-arrange his DNA, Harry was cursing every god known to man as he was writhing in pain on the bed. While the Warlock might not be quite as dead as he appeared, he still wasn't close to being a normal human. The process was generally painful in any case.
As Harry looked into the mirror after the pain had stopped, he was disappointed that he hadn't grown any taller. However, he had to admit that it was only Richard who was particularly tall in this family. Moreover, he still hadn't hit any growth spurts, so who knows... He might still grow some later in life.
What DID change was his skin and hair. Harry didn't know it was possible for a living person to be quite this pale, but there you have it. He poked his cheek, wondering if his skin had somehow turned into whatever substance Richard's skin was. Although it wasn't quite as pure white and...well...dead...as Richards skin either.
Just very, very pale. Like he hadn't seen the sun in years.
His hair, on the other hand, was still black. But Harry was extremely pleased to see he had inherited his mom's straight hair. It now fell down just past his ears, and was looking a bit more like those guys on his cd-covers, rather than a messy bird's nest. It was a bit thinner than it used to be, Harry thought as he combed, he watched lumps of it fall off, and he suddenly began to worry if it would all fall out.
He was pretty sure Richard didn't have any hair at all, and he prayed that it was just thinning itself out to match his mom.
Harry decided he's take a shower and change into one of those black robes he had bought. Maybe he could convince his grandma to make a pentacle to fit on the front of his new clothes. He felt a bit ungrateful to his new family for discarding their signature red colour, but he knew for a fact that even Benny sometimes went with black as his preferred colour.
The adults had just sighed and blamed youth culture.
Between LaVey and Black Metal, black robes and far too many pentagrams and upside down crosses had become de rigour for Satanists it seemed, and the wizarding world wasn't helping any. Benny, however, was more than happy to help his favourite nephew, and within a weak, Harry was fully loaded with enough occult jewellery to last him a lifetime.
However, his mother put her foot down and told him that it was really bad taste to wear more than two necklaces at the time. Which naturally lead him to decide he should get an earring as well. With an upside down cross. His mother sighed and told him that when he got his acceptance letter to Hogwarts, he could have his ears pierced, but not a moment sooner.
Harry grumbled a bit, but accepted it. Especially after Benny told him that most families wouldn't allow their kids any pierced body-parts until they were at least 15, preferably 18. A lot of them wouldn't let guys get it at all. Which seemed really unfair and discriminating to Harry.
The next day, or rather, late evening, the change had made him sleep almost the entire day, Harry woke up to the veil covered face of the warlock staring at him, and let out a yelp, before promptly falling out of the bed, making Richard laugh.
"Ah, who knew having a kid was this much fun?" Richard asked no one in particular.
"Harry. Get dressed. I have the BEST Father-Son outing imaginable planned for today!" Richard exclaimed and tossed Harry the new black robes he had bought him.
Once Harry had struggled his way into them, he realized they were a spitting image of Richard's own Warlock robes, and he jumped up to hug him.
"Thank you, they're awesome!" Harry said, before promptly stumbling in the robes, which was longer than he was used too, and crashed into Richard, sending them both crashing to the floor. "How do you even walk in these, dad?" Harry asked, blushing in embarrassment.
Richard merely laughed and pulled them both up.
"You'll learn. Now get downstairs and have your breakfast and meet me at my place when you're ready," Richard said and stalked out of the house, leaving Harry behind, exited to see what his dad had come up with, and cursing his new robes.
Now he understood why Richard never ran anywhere. He checked himself out in the mirror. But damn did they look good!
"Hi, mom!" Harry said as he strolled into the kitchen, grabbed two slices of toast and stacked entirely too much bacon between them, before moving towards the door.
"Mornin' kiddo. Or should I say evenin'?" Sharon joked and ruffled his hair as he walked past her. "Where're ya goin'?" She said as he rushed past her.
"Richard said he had some awesome Father-Son thing for us to do!" Harry said happily and chewed down on his toast.
"Bmhye mhom!" Harry munched on his toast as he rushed over to Richard's place.
When Harry reached Richard's house, he couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Richard, in his bright yellow gardening/outing hat, with a picnic-basket in one hand and a shovel in the other.
"A shovel? Really?" Harry struggled to not laugh out loud, insulting Richard was never a good idea.
"It's traditional to bury the evidence." Richard said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then he scratched his chin...or, well, the veil covering it, in contemplation. "Although I suppose there might not be enough left to bury," he mussed and tossed the shovel away, grabbing the picnic-basket.
Reaching inside he pulled out something that might have been an ice-cream cone...it also might have been a puddle. There was no way to tell.
"I-Scream?" Richard said. Harry decided it might not be worth the risk.
"Um, no thanks, dad. I prefer the traditional Ice-cream-types," he replied.
Richard looked disappointed and put it back into the basket. Harry felt a little bad for disappointing him, but he also wasn't a full-blooded warlock just yet. Who knew what that...thing...would do to his digestive system?
"Oh, well, your loss." Richard shrugged and grabbed Harry's hand as if it was perfectly normal to take your son out for an evening walk, a light picnic and quite possible some murder and mayhem.
"I packed some marshmallows too," Richard stated happily, which made Harry grin.
"Awesome!" He didn't ask why. It was kinda obvious, really.
Harry and Richard skipped happily down the road towards number 4 Private Drive. The image of the downright dark, evil, powerful undead warlock in his evil-looking outfit, topped off with a sunflower-yellow hat, holding the hand of a young boy and skipping merrily down the street had several people give up booze, and had the queue to the local psychologist's office nearly double. Luckily, it was almost 9 pm, so there wasn't too many people out and about, or there would certainly have been more.
When they finally reached Harry's old home, Harry peered into the windows carefully, while Richard was casting some kind of warding spells to ensure that nobody noticed anything unusual until after the wards came down, and nobody would be able to disturb them. It took a bit longer than he had expected, as there seemed to be several other wards monitoring the house, for whatever reason. But Richard was not considered one of the greatest Warlocks of his time without reason. He twisted the wards just enough to land outside his own wards, and thus would still work, but not pick up anything unusual until he brought his own wards down. The last thing he did before ringing the doorbell was so seal up each and every exit of the house, and dousing it with the magical equivalent of kerosene.
The Dursleys were enjoying watching a re-run of Mr. Beans, laughing at all the difficulties the man was currently having with his car. Dudley was hogging the bowl of chips, and the whole coke bottle, enjoying himself. Petunia was sipping some wine, while Vernon was opening yet another can of beer. This was life!
As the doorbell rang, Vernon scoffed at the disturbance, but his wife nudged him to go see whom it was. His wife was right of course. It wouldn't do to let the neighbours see them ignoring visitors. What if his co-workers found out? He'd never hear the end of it. Image! Image was the key to success! Vernon put on his friendliest smile and opened the door.
"Hi~" Richard waved his fingers at him when he opened the door, while Harry grinned maliciously and set fire to his hair. Vernon's screams sounded sweet in his ears as they followed him inside and closed the door, while Vernon patted his hair frantically to put the fire out.
"YOU!" Vernon yelled when he realized who it was. "And...Who the bloody hell are YOU?! You're one of those FREAKS, aren't you?!" Vernon shouted, glaring at Richard.
"Me?" Richard said with a confused look, pointing at himself.
"I think he's mistaking you for a Wizard." Harry said and snickered.
"Oh! No, no, no. I'm not a bloody Wizard!" Richard spat the word out with distaste. "No, -I- am something FAR worse!" Richard grinned maliciously, and let out a bone shrilling evil laughter. Just for effect. Despite the veil covering his face, you could clearly see the dark, gleeful expression on his face as Harry's former family shrunk away from him in fear.
"S...stay away!" Petunia said. "Y...you're not allowed to use magic!" She said, trying to re-assert her authority.
It failed miserably as both Harry and Richard glanced at each other and then began to laugh manically.
"Don't worry auntie…unlike Wizards, Warlocks only have one rule!" Harry said gleefully.
"The Rules Don't Apply to Us!" Harry and Richard chimed in a darkly gleeful voice.
Their expressions promised so much murder and mayhem that it had Dudley sobbing under the table and the adults whimpering in fear as they back away, only to be stopped by the couch.