Chapter eleven
Henry wasn't quite sure why he'd agreed to see Archie.
Dr Hopper had wanted to undoubtedly see him since 'the school incident' but the former cricket was nothing if not patient.
It was the morning after he'd cried into his mother's pillow and he was vaguely grateful that Emma hadn't made him go to school before having this session.
Mary Margaret would probably be all over him to find out what happened the day before, so school would be a danger zone for a while now.
He was currently sitting in the therapist's office considering exactly what it was that he wanted to say to Dr Hopper.
Would he be accused of being delusional again if he told him about Isaac?
He was pretty sure that the memories he'd been shown by the Author proved that it wasn't a delusion, but it didn't help that no one else had seen Isaac.
As usual, Archie gave Henry some time which was why they had been sitting in silence for the last ten minutes until he finally asked, "how are you, Henry?"
The boy looked away from Pongo and up to Archie who was staring back with a tilted head.
He wasn't quite wearing the same sympathising look that his grandparents gave him, in fact, he was pretty sure that he detected some disappointment on the therapist's face.
It had been some time since Regina's death and the night before was the first time that he'd really cried.
Henry was about to say that he was fine but he was the one who agreed to come to therapy.
Archie waited for Henry to figure out exactly what he wanted to say until he finally said, "I…I guess I feel like an idiot."
"And why's that?" Archie asked.
Henry drew his bottom lip into his mouth, he didn't want to say those words aloud but this was the place to do it.
Reluctantly, and with some tears in his eyes, he admitted just above a whisper, "because my mom stood in front of a gun for me and I pretended that she was still evil…I didn't even say goodbye to her…"
Archie raised his eyebrows.
He was genuinely surprised to hear such a direct admission.
He really thought that it would take longer to get to that point but he overcame his surprise rather quickly and replied, "denial is a stage of grief, Henry, it is perfectly natural for your mind to find a way to deny what happened. In your case, I would guess that thinking of Regina as evil was much easier than facing the fact that she died."
Henry took in a shaky breath at the final word and Archie watched the boy screw up his eyes.
Dr Hopper didn't want to say it either, he sincerely missed Regina too, but it was important for Henry to process this and reach some kind of acceptance.
"Makes sense," Henry mumbled, pushing himself further into the couch as he opened his eyes.
Archie replied, "Do you know what the next stage of grief is?"
"Anger," Henry said instantly.
The therapist nodded and waited for Henry to look at him before he asked, "Are you angry?"
Henry clenched his fists and was about to say 'no' but instead he just blew out a breath of frustration that he had been holding in.
It was for this reason that Archie asked, "who are you angry with, Henry?"
Henry knew that Archie would wait as long as it took for him to reply, so he just said the first thing that came to mind, "sh…mom…why would she stand in front of a gun and sign adoption dissolution papers in the same day? It doesn't make sense!"
Archie hummed, unfazed by the boy shouting the last part and replied, "really? It doesn't make sense?"
Henry huffed and placed his hands over his face.
Of course it made sense.
Regina saw him everyday in the diner, happy with his 'real family'.
It was hard to deny that she wanted him to be her son and also that she went the wrong way about it pre-curse breaking. A few days ago, that was as far as the train of thought would have gone but it didn't feel as easy as that now.
Regina Mills was clearly not taught what love was supposed to be, in fact, he wouldn't be surprised if she really believed the 'love is weakness' line for a good portion of her life.
All things considered, he could now see that she did the best with what she had, she was a good mom and if she'd had the chance in the last six months she would have gone back to being a great mom like he'd thought she was before the storybook.
As the boy thought all of this through, he shot to his feet and paced back and forth.
Archie continued to wait, but placed his hand on Pongo's head so that he didn't jump up and try to play with the grieving pre-teen.
Finally, Henry came to a halt when he finished imagining what would have happened if he'd gone to check on Regina after she had taken in the death curse to save Emma and Mary Margaret.
"She would have done the same thing even if I told her that I love her after the curse broke. Jefferson would have still…" he trailed off and flopped back down to the couch.
Archie wasn't too concerned that he couldn't say 'shoot her', but he did feel like they were getting somewhere here, so he leaned forward and prodded, "and?"
Henry wiped his eyes and admitted, "and I wasted six months with her when she was trying her best."
Archie nodded and leaned back in his chair before he replied, "I'm not sure if you're aware of this, Henry, but Regina had been attending sessions with me since the curse broke. It is very clear to me that she would have done anything to make you happy, which included leaving you alone. I think that the relationship between yourself and Regina will always remain unresolved now. Unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done about that in terms of discussing your feelings with your mother, but you should remember that her actions proved that her primary goal was for you to be happy. Now that she is gone, I really believe that she would still want that. I think that it is important to go through everything you are feeling so that you can get back to that point, what do you think Henry? Would you be willing to come to more sessions to go into all of this in more detail?"
Henry hesitated, he wanted to say no, that he did not want to come in and regularly talk about Regina, that would be too painful.
However, Archie's approach was already a far cry from Isaac's, so he just sniffed and said, "I guess that would be okay."
Archie smiled at the boy while he quickly finished writing some notes and then he glanced up at the clock.
"Well, Emma should be picking you up soon so could you tell her that I have suggested extra sessions? You can discuss how often you would like them to be with her, okay?"
"Do I…should I tell her…" Henry began.
Dr Hopper shook his head and replied, "for now you can tell her as much as little as you like. I may recommend discussing your feelings with your family, but that would be something to consider later."
Henry nodded and pushed himself to his feet when the clock chimed onto the hour. Despite the further revelations, he figured that this was probably a better place to work through everything, especially when compared to what he had seen the day before.
"Thanks Archie," he said, wiping his arm over his face, knowing that Emma was probably waiting outside, dying to know what was going on inside the room.
"I'll see you soon, Henry, and you can call me whenever you need to talk about anything."
Henry inclined his head and actually smiled at the doctor.
He couldn't say that he was now magically feeling better, frankly he wasn't sure whether that would be possible considering that nothing would change the fact that his mother was still gone, but he was already seeing that this could potentially be the most healthy way to navigate this situation.
Archie smiled back, it was a hopeful smile even if he knew that they still had a long path ahead of them.
About 10 minutes later, the doctor was writing out a rough plan of the things he suspected that he and Henry would need to discuss, not least being that Henry had been present during the entirety of the 'school incident'.
However, before he could finish writing, there was a knock at the door.
Archie furrowed his brow and glanced at his appointment book, though he was fairly sure that he had purposefully left this time free to complete his plans.
To his surprise, he did find a name there. 'Isaac'.
"Come in," he called, uncertainly.
A second later, a cheery man opened the door and Archie tilted his head as he tried his best to place him.
"Don't worry, Jiminy," Isaac interrupted, "we've never met."
Archie shifted a little, grabbing Pongo's collar to pull him back, he then cleared his throat and said, "I'm sorry…Isaac?" the man nodded to confirm that was correct, so the therapist continued, "how can I help you?"
Isaac pushed the door closed behind him and said, "I'm here about Regina Mills, I think that you can help me change the story."
S
Regina had been silent since the night before which didn't really surprise Emma too much.
Now that Henry had finished his session with Archie and was with his grandfather at the loft, Emma figured that it was time to actually speak to the spirit sitting across the desk.
It wasn't like she had any work to do and she didn't want to sit in silence for the rest of her shift.
The sheriff sat forward and cleared her throat so the former queen finally looked up from her lap with a slightly annoyed expression on her face.
"What?" Regina asked.
Emma tilted her head and Regina deflated a little.
Honestly, she just wanted to walk away so that she didn't have to discuss seeing her son grieving for her.
For just a second, she'd felt her heart soar in hope at the clear show that he loved her, that he actually cared that she was gone.
She wanted him to care for six months and she finally got to see that he did.
A second later, she felt terrible.
She didn't want Henry to be upset, she didn't want the 'school incident' to affect the rest of his life.
Regina wasn't quite sure whether she preferred him pretending that he didn't care or crying into her pillow but she was sure that she wished that they were not her only two options.
"What is it, Miss Swan?" Regina asked again when Emma didn't say anything.
Emma drew her bottom lip into her mouth and considered exactly what it was that she wanted to say.
She wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she was pretty sure that she knew the answer to that question.
Honestly, it was times like this that she wished that Dr Hopper could also see Regina. She would happily wait outside so that the spirit could have some therapy.
As it was, that wasn't an option so she just decided to go with the other thing on her mind.
"Do you think it would be a good idea to tell Henry that I can see you?"
This seemed to finally get Regina's full attention and she replied with widened eyes, "Why would you do something like that?"
Emma let out a frustrated huff and said, "because he might be able to use the…situation to feel better or…I don't know Regina! It's not like I have experience with helping someone grieve for someone I can see!"
Regina ran her hand over her face and replied, "it's hard to grieve when you know that person is in the room. That is precisely why you should be focusing on breaking this tether so that everyone can just…move on…"
"Regina…" Emma began but she couldn't think of a single argument as to why she was wrong.
She could admit that she didn't want her to leave, that she wasn't quite sure that she remembered what it was like to be alone.
Those reasons were true right now, but this arrangement wasn't sustainable long-term.
But how long was 'long-term'?
Regina almost felt bad because of how hurt Emma looked but there were facts that they both needed to face here.
She leaned forward and said, "I am dead, Emma, so believe me when I say that while you are alive, you should not be wasting your time holding onto someone who is already gone."
Emma wanted to argue that she wasn't gone, that she could see her, that she could hear her. But she was so painfully away that she couldn't touch her.
If she admitted her feelings right now, she wouldn't be able to kiss her.
The saviour closed her eyes and tried to force herself to stop imagining what it would be like to kiss Regina Mills.
The fact was that Regina was right.
Reluctantly, she opened the bag that she'd started carrying around and pulled out some books.
For around twenty minutes, she remained stubbornly silent as she read and Regina rolled her eyes.
One thing she'd learned recently was that it was hard to have a meaningful conversation with Emma Swan.
She didn't look up when Emma threw the book in her hands to the desk with yet another huff and grabbed another one.
About five minutes later though, Emma sat forward with a small gasp and Regina looked up to see the green eyes running over whatever she had just read again.
She very nearly said nothing.
She could dispose of the book and pretend to move on, but Regina made her wishes very and painfully clear.
"Am I reading this right?"
Regina stood and rounded the desk to peer over Emma's shoulder at the page.
After a minute, she'd read it twice.
Despite the nerves that burst through her system, she nodded and said, "yes, it essentially details a recipe for someone to break the tether. Unfortunately, it appears that the main ingredient is the blood of the murderer."
Emma threw the book to the table and rubbed her temple with the tips of her fingers.
"Looks like you have a case to return to, sheriff."