"Ultra Infirmitatibus Meis"

Chapter 17

"Legend of Alekai."

"We thought it would be for the best, you see." Eunice continued. "The boy had no family to be left with, as Duncan himself came from an orphanage and his wife had cut all ties to her family, but we couldn't very well put him in a home that wouldn't treat our dear friend's son properly." She drank a bit of tea from the mug a nurse brought on a tray a while back. "We wanted to do what we could to ensure he had a secured future, while also having the ability to watch over him." She then looked deep into Sherlock's eyes. "You can see why giving him a place among our agents would be an optimal choice."

Sherlock said nothing.

So the elder Smallwood went on.

"You need to understand that we wanted to kill two birds with one stone." She explained softly. "Give the boy a happy life, while also gaining back what we lost with his father's death."

Sherlock's grip tightened on his own cup, but otherwise he said nothing.

"The biggest question was where to place him. Should we even let him experience what it's like to live in normal family, if he's going to be a member of MI5? Wouldn't that give him weak points our enemies could expose and use against him? Would that make him less likely to perform... certain missions for us?" She shook her head. "There were many points against it, as you might imagine. Had we adhered to them you wouldn't have an older brother, Holmes boy."

The Detective nodded, still silent.

"Then how did he end up in your mother's care, you may ask. Well… Rudy realized that, if we gave little Mycroft no reason to care about anything that's inside his country… he might become a double-edged sword." Eunice took another sip and rocked gently on her chair. "We had no guarantee that he would inherit Duncan's loyalty towards his country-"

"So you were worried he'd betray you the first chance he got." Sherlock cut her off, finally deciding to talk after being silent. "That anyone with an offer of more money could pull him to their side and use his knowledge to compromise your entire agency."

Eunice looked at him, then took in his deflated posture, his slumped shoulders and the sadness in his eyes...

It made her wonder if Duncan would approve of what she and Rudy put his child through.

While she likes to think he would… her heart knows he wouldn't.

She then nodded, confirming what he said to be true.

"That's when Rudy suggested giving him to your parents, as they were seemingly unable to produce their own offspring despite really wanting to have children." She fiddled with her scarf. "It was to ensure that Mycroft was going to be raised in a family that loved and cared for him with all their hearts, while also providing us with a way to keep an eye on him."

Sherlock looked into his cup.

The tea has gone cold to the touch despite him holding it in his hands.

Perhaps the room was chilly...

Or maybe his hands were just cold.

"As you may conclude" Eunice's voice pulled him out of thought. "Our plans changed once your adoptive brother began showcasing a level of intelligence that, not only caught up with that of Duncan, but massively surpassed him."

"Is" Sherlock swallowed thickly. "Is that when uncle Rudy decided to make him his heir?"

Eunice laughed.

"Indeed." Her Amber eyes crinkled with mirth. "The thought first crossed our minds when one day Rudolph came to work with a drawing, saying he was visiting his sister to check up on a four-year-old Mycroft." She smiled fondly. "He gave me the picture saying that little Mycroft drew it and told him to give it to his "blonde lady friend"." She laughed, probably remembering Rudy's face as he said those words. "Both of us were quite stumped as to how he even found out about me, I never visited you see, as well as how he could draw me so surprisingly accurately without ever having met me."

"Deduction." The Detective replied, looking up. "He deduced your existence from the clues left on Uncle Rudy's personage." He shrugged. "He was the one who taught me how to do it. I assume he was either showed the technique by uncle, or he figured out how to do it on his own."

Eunice nodded her wise head.

"That appears to be the case." She confirmed.

"I still do not understand one thing." He looked deep into her eyes. "Rudy watched Mycroft as he grew up, he must have realized he's much too sensitive to ruthlessly rule a nation. He wanted to be an artist, for God's sake!"

"Ah yes." Eunice took his little outburst in a stride. "We have noticed that, though resembling Duncan greatly, personality wise your brother leaned more towards that of his mother, who was a nurse 'Alekai' met while injured. He was kind, caring and had a love for arts. Qualities unsuited for being the Leader of the United Kingdom."

"Then why-"

"Let me finish." She chastised gently. "Those characteristics, as well as his blue eyes and red hair, are not the only things Mycroft inherited from her."

"What are you talking about?"

"The one thing that made him so good at his job in the first place, little Detective." She smiled sadly. "His strong sense of Duty."

"Someone has to do what needs to be done, Brother-dear." Mycroft's voice from long ago, echoed in Sherlock's mind. "No matter how hard it is, or how much it hurts."

He smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes." The Detective said, slowly. "It's… always been more of a curse than a blessing..."

Eunice nodded.

"It's commendable that he back away from his responsibilities when things turn unfavorable."

"He would never." Sherlock shook his head. "His honor and pride would not let him run away."

'That's why he stayed and took the blow, when I exposed him to my parents...'

Eunice nodded again, placing her empty mug on the nightstand to the right of her bed.

"That, along with his intelligence, made him the perfect candidate for Rudy's position." She shifted in her seat, letting her uneasiness show. "He just… needed to get rid of Mycroft's-"

"Caring." Sherlock cut in, voice emotionless. "He needed to get rid of his heart."

"...I was going to put it more sensitivity, but I suppose your terminology suits it just as well." She smoothed her blanket again. "To a reasonable degree of course. We wanted him to have our country's best interest at heart. That would not be possible if he didn't care about it and it's inhabitants even a little bit."

Sherlock swallowed.

"You just didn't want him to care enough for those things to become targets for your enemies to use as leverage..."

She nodded slowly.

"Yes… that's correct."

They fell into silence, letting the information sink in.

Eunice didn't mind the quiet. It gave her time to collect her thoughts and push back the feeling of intense guilt that began growing in the pit of her stomach.

"I would appreciate if you stopped avoiding my question, Lady Smallwood."

Sherlock's voice, previously soft and devoid of emotion, now sounded forceful and filled with irritation.

"I'm... sorry?" She asked, tightening her grip on her blanket.

"You provided me with a lot of information, Lady Smallwood." The Detective said voice shaking with raw anger. "Information that helped me realize my brother was nothing but a pawn to all of you from the day he was born." He chuckled brokenly. "Hell, you admitted to this yourself. He was supposed to serve as 'Alekai's replacement once he was old enough'." He glared at her with tearstained eyes. "But it didn't end there, did it? He was also a tool to help my parents get over the fact that they seemingly couldn't have their own children. Later, when he turned out too smart to be used for something so mindless as field work, Rudy used him as a as a substitute for the 'son who will take over his position one day' that his eldest, Harry, never was." Sherlock then looked down. He saw his hands shaking but couldn't bring himself to make them stop. "Later, once Rudy's influence started showing in his actions and personally, he was used by my mother as the Scapegoat to protect me from being used in the same way." He took a deep breath. "Then… when Eurus has been taken… he was trusted with that terrible secret, used once more to be the Judas of the family once Rudy died, and single handedly carry all the blame for their shared actions." His hands turned into fists. "You helped me realize that, not only did Mycroft have no control over the direction his own life was going, but also that it was nothing but one. Big. Fat. Lie."

He looked, angry flames shining in his ice-blue eyes.

"The only thing I don't know yet… is why he is not allowed to find out about his real parents." He grit out through clenched teeth. "A piece of information I demand to know."

Eunice stared at him for a good few seconds, taking in his shaking form and the tears in his eyes.

She shook her head.

"Foolish boy..." The elder Smallwood whispered. "Do you know what would happen if he ever knew what you do now?" She asked gently. "The knowledge that nothing he knows is true… that the people he thought were his parents lied and used him… that his own government hid such an important truth about him for so long..." She shook his head. "It would completely destroy him. He wouldn't know what to believe anymore, or who to trust." Eunice sighed. "Such raw vulnerability could leave him in a state of emotional numbness, during which things and actions that once had considerable value to him, like keeping those he loves safe or doing things for the greater good of the Queen and country, would become meaningless and devoid of everything that made them once worth living by." She then made her voice stern. "That's not the kind of treachery England would survive happening."

Sherlock paled.

"Oh God..."

"What?" Eunice asked, suddenly alarmed. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"The thing you're describing..." He looked up, eyes filled with fear. "They're happening right now..."

"What?!" Eunice asked, glaring at her daughter. "How?!"

"Because Mycroft was always meant to fall." Sherlock whispered.

"Whether he knew the truth or not."