The Dark Side of Disney
Episode 6: Rescuing Kero
Act One
Thursday, December 23 2021 AD 1459 hours
Hogwarts in Universal is decorated for the holidays, both Christmas and Hanukkah. Sakura Avalon and Kero are both in class with other students, and they are listening to Tohru from Jackie Chan Adventures.
Tohru: Students, I know it is almost Christmas, but there is one more lesson you have to follow. When you make a spell, you must use the right words. Like the words "Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao", which has been spoken many times by my sensei, means "Evil demons and malevolent spirits, be gone". Now, uh, who would like to give it a try?
One student boy, Henry, raises his hand up to volunteer.
Henry: I do, sir.
Kero is puzzled about Sakura being so quiet, before he finds out she is writing something on paper.
Kero: [whispering] Why aren't you listening?
Sakura: [whispering] I am. But I'm also making plans, so be quiet.
Henry walks towards Tohru, who waves a glowing blowfish around to conjure something. A trapdoor opens from the wall, and a Shadowkhan comes out from there.
Henry: [hesitant] Yu Mo…. Yu Mo Gui Gwai-
Too late. The Shadowkhan kicks Henry on the chest, knocking him away, and most of the classmates laugh at that. Tohru says the incantation with the glowing blowfish waving in his hand and the Shadowkhan disappears back into the trapdoor.
[bell rings]
Tohru: Class dismissed. Have a nice holiday.
Now that school is over, Sakura and Kero make their way across the hall to leave Hogwarts.
Sakura: Boy, that was exhausting. It's not that I don't think Hogwarts is terrible, but I… wish they wouldn't make the lessons so difficult.
Kero: Well, I like this place. They make pretty awesome meals in the Great Hall; more food than I can chow down on. Oh man, I wished we got here in the beginning.
Sakura: Kero, is food all you can think about? One of these days, I'm gonna make you exercise.
Kero: [boasting] Well, I'm not too worried at all. I may be in Hogwarts, but I don't get punished because I'm no student and I'm already smart.
Suddenly, Kero lets out a loud, long, gassy fart that makes him look embraced, and Sakura just looks at him in annoyance.
Sakura: Kero! You ate the farting tarts?
Kero: [chuckles nervously] Sorry.
Voice: Housekeeping!
A trio of witches fly to the scene. One sucks up the gas with a blowhard, blows it to the fireplace, and it lets out a huge blast of flames in the process. And with that, Sakura glares at Kero.
Meanwhile in Dukesberry, New Hampshire, things are looking good and decorated for the holidays as well. Outside the mall, a huge Christmas tree. Proto stands on top trying to set the star straight while some men look from below.
Proto: How's that, guys?
Man 1: It's a bit crooked, sir. Move it to the right.
Proto: You got it.
Trying to fix the star, Proto's cyborg foot cracks the branch, causing him to accidentally fall all the way down right into a box at the base of the tree. But the box makes him bounce off to land on a food-filled table, and a cake falls right on top of his face.
Man 2: Well, will you look at that? It's an upside-down cake.
The other men and one woman laugh with him.
Man 1: Let's go get some coffee.
They take their leave, while Proto just gets up to remove the cake from him. Then Hellboy (played by Ron Perlman) in the Hellboy film series arrives at his side, wiping the frosting off Proto's face.
Hellboy: You're alright?
Proto: Yeah. But did you see those guys? We helped save the world and they just view us as a joke.
Hellboy: What did you expect? Toons just do and get what they want to get away with it.
Hellboy takes a taste of the frosting he has on his stone finger, liking it.
Hellboy: Hmmm. Cherry.
At the other end of the mall's parking lot, Cobalt and Direwolf are both standing on the hilltop to have a view of Dukesberry.
Direwolf: This feels great, being here in Dukesberry. I haven't been here for so many years, since I've begun formulating the Resistance.
Cobalt: I've always wanted to come here since I saw Eight Crazy Nights. But I don't feel safe without my War Machine suit.
Direwolf: Relax. We have Hellboy with us. [to walkie talkie] Saber, what's your stats?
All the way in Portsmouth, Saber is having a view of Piscataqua River, where Godzilla is surfacing with a shipwreck in his mouth.
Saber: Looking alright here. Godzilla's assisting with the rebuild. He's starting with the shipwrecks under the river.
Godzilla drops the ship down before he swims back underwater.
Back in Dukesberry, Cobalt grabs a hose, walks to some dirty, stinky porta potties and starts hosing them down while singing Mr. Grinch. The sudden sound of puking is heard, as Davey steps out of the third porta potty, with a hangover.
Cobalt: Don't you ever get tired of hitting the bottle 24/7?
Davey: I don't do it every day, man. I've gotten over it since my movie, and I just… try on the new alcohol for some taste-testing.
Cobalt: Stone, it's not a taste-testing if you're just gulping the whole thing down in your throat. You're back home, so try to enjoy something more pleasant and healthier.
Davey: What about you? Canada's going back to what it was before, so wouldn't it mean you can go home now?
Cobalt pauses in thought about it, as Davey takes his leave.
Direwolf is walking to the mall, looking at what to get in there, then Cobalt walks over to his side.
Cobalt: Direwolf? I've, uh…. I've been wondering… don't you get homesick?
Direwolf: Me? Why you ask?
Cobalt: Uh… nothing important.
In Maleficent's dark chapel, she, Jafar and Hades watch Cobalt and Direwolf in the hologram on the table.
Maleficent: He's getting the feeling so soon.
Hades: So soon? Y'know, I've been around long before mortals were born, and I still know nothing about them. Nothing at all.
One by one, Hades' devil servants, Pain and Panic, poof from smoke to make an appearance.
Pain: You said it, boss. Nothing about them.
Panic: Not even when they just line up to ask for your autographs.
[door knocks]
Jafar: I believe that's Cruella, finally showing up.
Hades: [to Pain & Panic] Boys, let her in.
Cruella bursts through the door on cue, bumping Pain and Panic against the door without knowing it.
Cruella: Darlings! So sorry for being late. My way to get in here was miserable as usual. Perfectly wretched!
Maleficent: Now that you're here, shall I remind you of the mission?
Jafar: The plan is going to be involved with Miss de Vil?
Cruella: But of course. It was voluntary. All I have to do is just reel them in.
Cruella touches one part of the table, and the hologram shifts to Kero. She breathes some cigarette smoke that encircles the image.
Cruella: Oh, yes, I must say, such a perfectly beautiful coat.
Hades: You have a serious attachment to fur coats, doncha?
Cruella: My only true love, darling. I live for furs. I worship furs! Is there a woman in this wretched world who doesn't?
Jafar: Anyway, Maleficent thinks you may need assistance from the Zealots. I can send in Kaecilius instead of them all for you.
Maleficent: But do you know where to spring the trap?
Cruella: I've got to run. Let me know when Kaecilius arrives. You will, won't you, dear?
Jafar: Yes, Miss de Vil.
Cruella: Don't forget, it's a promise. I will call you when they've arrived. Have a merry Christmas. Cheerio, darling.
She shuts the door behind her and leaves for elsewhere.
Act Two
In Universal Studios, Sgt. Taser is pacing around in front of a monitor, waiting for instructions, then Cobalt appears on screen.
Cobalt: Sergeant. Send in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Have them establish a recon post in Disney's Hollywood Studios. Code red. You understand me?
Taser: Yes SIR!
Taser rushes out from the tent to meet up with the Ninja Turtles, all practicing their ninja skills, until they notice him and salute him.
Mikey: Yeah, dude?
Raph elbows Mikey to say it properly.
Mikey: I mean… sir, yes, sir?
Taser: Listen up! Code Red! Repeat: You are at Code Red! Recon behind enemy lines! Hollywood Studios! Execute!
Leo: Sir, yes, sir! Let's go, guys!
The Ninja Turtles all take a dive into a manhole to enter the sewers.
On the streets, a manhole cover lifts open and Donnie ventures forth to make sure the coast is clear. Satisfied, he motions for the others to proceed. The Turtles each shelter behind the trees and hold their positions while Donnie surveys the main gate of Disney's Hollywood Studios through his binoculars.
Donnie: There's the south gate. What's the word, Leo?
Leo: We'll jump over it. Raph, Mikey, go.
At the other end, Raph and Mikey catapult themselves with the trees to fly over the wall, parachuting down to the floor below. They sweep the area with their weapons, seeing nobody around, so Raph takes out his walkie talkie to contact.
Raph: We're clear.
Leo and Donnie do the same thing; catapulting, parachuting, and joining up with the others.
Meanwhile, Cobalt is an abandoned motel room in Dukesberry with Proto, Direwolf and Hellboy coming inside. He opens a map of Disneyworld he got from Oogie Boogie, and turns on a baby monitor.
Cobalt: And this… is how we find out what the Dark Side is up to.
The Turtles back in Disneyworld walk quietly across the floor when suddenly they hear snoring coming from behind a wall. Carefully Leo looks around to see Stewie Griffin from Family Guy sleeping, with his head resting on a table and pistol in his hand.
Raph: [whispering] That's a sentry?
Mikey: [whispering] Dude. He's all tuckered in like a baby.
Leo: [whispering] Guys, zip it.
The Turtles quickly slip past Stewie, but Donnie looks back to make sure they weren't seen. Mikey discovers some pizza next to the sleeping Stewie, so he reaches out to grab a slice. Then Brian, also from Family Guy, sees them and barks. Stewie is awakened by that barking, and he shoots his gun everywhere in a panic while the Turtles jump out of the scene.
Stewie: What is it?! What did you do?!
Brian: You almost shot me, you son of a bitch!
Stewie: That's because you yelled!
Brian: No, you shot the gun first, that's why I yelled!
Stewie: [suspiciously] That's why I yelled. I'm watching you, buddy.
Back in Dukesberry, Hellboy is becoming impatient.
Hellboy: Shouldn't they be there by now? What's taking them so long?
Cobalt: Hey, these guys are professionals. They're the best. [pauses] Come on, they're not stopping for a pizza.
Back with the Turtles, they jump over the roofs to land right on top of the Chinese Theatre, the visual centerpiece of Disney's Hollywood Studios.
Leo: Donnie, do you see anyone in the Top Ten?
Donnie looks through his binoculars, trying to find anyone in the Top Ten, and he sees Cruella de Vil meeting with Kaecilius from Doctor Strange.
Donnie: I see one.
Back in Dukesberry, the baby monitor starts beeping to give a signal.
Donnie: [through speakers] Come in, motherbird. This is Beta Purple. Come in.
Cobalt: This is Motherbird here. Talk to me.
Donnie: Alright. We see Cruella de Vil. She's meeting a man in a robe having… some kind of black eyes with scars.
Cobalt: Robed man with black eyes? That sounds like Kaecilius. Can you hear what they're saying?
Donnie: No. But they…. Cruella's giving him a ride in her car.
Cobalt: A ride?
Proto: Who would ride in with her?
Direwolf: Her boyfriend. [laughs]
Cobalt: Anyway…. [to Donnie] Keep searching the park. Contact us once you have something interesting.
Donnie: Roger.
When that's done, Cobalt shuts off the baby monitor.
Cobalt: See what I mean? They know what to do.
Hellboy: Well, I knew you were right. I never doubted you for a second.
Direwolf: Good. Saber will be here in the next morning, so we'll camp here for the night.
Act Three
Back in Universal at late afternoon, Sakura is packing up a few of her things with Ashley and Kero helping her out.
Ashley: You're really leaving?
Sakura: Only for the rest of the year. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow, and they said I'm allowed to go back to my world to meet my family. I miss them a lot, and they're all gonna be thrilled to see me back.
Ashley: Well, that's nice. But what about Kero?
Kero: We talked about it. I've decided to stay here, and chow down on the feast the MIB hosts every year.
Sakura: Anyway Ashley, you've got nothing to worry about. You've got Kero with you, so you'll be fine. Bye.
Sakura zips her bag, and she is off to go. But with her gone, Ashley looks so blue for some reason.
Kero: [concerned] Hey Ashley, what is it?
Ashley: I was looking forward to spending the holiday with Sakura. Because as long as I can remember, I've been celebrating Christmas… by myself.
Kero: Oh yeah, I must've forgotten about that. But hey, how about we invite some friends over, huh? I can get Zoe to come over. Trust me, you'll love that girl.
Ashley: Really? Thank you, Kero.
Kero: Alright, now what do you say we celebrate with a little party tonight?
Outside the main gate, Sakura uses her Fly Card to give her wings, and she flies off to go home. However, she is being watched by the two shady crooks, Horace and Jasper Badun, who lower their newspapers and watch her fly away. Kaecilius is among them, watching her go as well.
Jasper: There she goes, Horace, me lad: Out for her holiday constitutional.
Kaecilius: She's a brave girl, I'll give her that. Just going home without a worry for the danger that lies ahead, but not today she won't.
Horace: [doubtful] Yeah, I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch, and they'll throw the keys away.
Jasper: Oh, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of boodle.
Horace: Yes, but… I've been thinkin'….
Jasper: You've been thinkin'?! Now, look here, Horace: I warned you about thinkin'. I've got the knob for this job, so let's get on with it.
Kaecilius: You get on with your part, and I'll do mine.
With his Sling Ring, Kaecilius makes his motion to activate a portal, allowing them to get inside of Universal. Jasper starts up their truck and drives it into the portal that takes them to Hogsmeade. The truck makes sputtering noises along the way and stops with a squeak. As Kaecilius takes his leave, Jasper and Horace emerge from the truck and walk up the doorsteps to Honeydukes, as Horace has a handbag in his hands.
Jasper: Ah, nobody home but the little pussy cat. Now, you just leave her to ol' Jasper. He can handle her real diplomatic-like.
Horace: [nervously] Yeah, but I still don't like it.
Zoe is at the cash register, working at Honeydukes. She flips the sign door to "closed", while being on the phone with someone.
Zoe: Really? She's got no one to be with for the holiday?
Kero: [through speakers] Yeah. She was counting on Sakura, but since she has a family to be with, I was thinking we can do a party for Ashley. What do you say?
Zoe: Sure. I've got all the time I need. Though I promised Mark that we'll be together on the 25th, so I'll make it there. And I'll be bringing in my best fruit cake. Seeya.
Zoe hangs up, and she looks at the Worms, who are eating some caffeine candy.
Neeble: Sweet Honeydukes and its treats.
Mannix: I gotta have these for Christmas.
[door knocks]
Zoe: Who could be at the door when it's closed? [to the Worms] Boys, stay quiet so I can handle this.
She opens the door and sees Horace and Jasper, both wearing fake mustaches, tipping their hats as they act as electric repairmen.
Jasper: Ah, good evening, ma'am. We're here to inspect the wiring and the switches.
Horace: We're from the gas co- I mean, the electric company.
Zoe: Oh, but we didn't call for any inspection.
Jasper: [rambling] Oh, yes, I know. You see, there's a new act's just been passed in Parliament; comes under the heading of "Defence of the Realm Act". It's under 104: Section 29; very important. It's the law, and it's for your own safety, ma'am.
Zoe: [firmly] Well, you're just gonna have to pull a way better acting than whatever it is you said… Jasper. You can't fool me, not with the sound of your own voice.
Jasper frowns at this, rips off the mustache and grabs the door handle.
Jasper: [aggressively] Now, now. Come off it, cat. We got no time to palaver; we've got a job to do. EXCUSE ME!
He barges into the house, followed by Horace. The Worms notice them, but Jasper fires a gun that paralyzes them. Zoe is disturbed and angered at this.
Zoe: Oh no you don't! Just because I'm younger does not that I can't-
She grabs the end of their trench coats, but she fails and lands on her bottom.
Jasper: [laughing] She's a regular little tartar, ain't she, Horace?
Jasper walks his way up the stairs, and Zoe follows him up.
Meanwhile, Ashley and Kero are setting things up for the party they're doing tonight. But then, the doorbell rings.
Ashley: Hey. Is that Zoe?
Ashley answers the door, but she finds out it's Kaecilius and she gasps.
Ashley: You?!
Kaecilius: Having a happy holiday?
With magic, Kaecilius blasts Ashley across the room.
Back in Honeydukes, Zoe runs to the attic to find Jasper, but he then moves behind the door.
Zoe: You better get out of here before I call for the MIB!
Jasper: [mockingly] Now you've been gone and done it. You've cut me to the quick, lassy. Why, I wouldn't stay here if you asked me.
Zoe throws a tea pot at Jasper, but she misses as he uses the door as a shield.
Jasper: Not even for a cup of tea.
He traps Zoe inside the attic and calls out to Horace.
Jasper: Oi, Horace, me lad, I've got a sneaky suspicion we're not welcome here!
Back downstairs, Horace grabs himself some candy jars and rushes out the door.
Jasper: Pack up. We're leaving. Wait in the truck for me.
Jasper keeps toying with Zoe, who struggles onto the door handle.
Zoe: Let me out! Help! I'll call the police. Help!
Jasper lets the door go, causing Zoe to fly into a bunch of household objects and a cello with a crash.
Jasper: [laughing] Goodnight, kitty! Ta-ta!
On the main floor, K and J both enter Honeydukes to see what's happening.
K: Zoe?
The two march right inside, seeing the paralysed Worms.
J: [chuckles] Fingers in the cookie jar, boys?
When J taps on one of the Worms, he falls down.
J: Whoa. They ain't playing possum.
And then, Zoe comes running down the stairs, just before she finds out K and J have arrived.
K: What happened?
Zoe: It's Horace and Jasper! They're here!
Back with Kaecilius, he walks into the room, until Kero transforms into his true form to face him off.
Kero: You get out of here!
He blew a fireball, but Kaecilius uses magic to deflect the flame and trap Kero in force field, just before a klaxon alarm goes off outside. Kaecilius smiles to know what it means.
Kaecilius: It's time.
With that, Kaecilius disappears into a Sling Ring portal with Kero, leaving Ashley alone.
The Baduns' truck turns away and drives up the street. But sentry guns from the rooftops begin to open fire, trying to stop them. Just then, Kaecilius appears with the captured Kero.
Jasper: Good job, mate.
Kaecilius: Now, we're ready to go.
He uses the Sling Ring again to open another portal, taking them elsewhere.
Act Four
K and J both walk outside of Honeydukes while carrying the paralysed Worms, Zoe walks out last, ranting.
Zoe: I'll show those clowns what happens when they mess with me. I'll show them when I used every last-
Ashley's voice: Help!
Alarmed, Zoe and the agents whip to the right to see Ashley rushing over to them.
J: Hey, what's up?
Ashley: Kaecilius! He took Kero! Just now!
K: The break-in was a decoy.
J: K, we gotta tell Zed at once.
K and J both take their leave for headquarters. Ashley and Zoe look at the direction the Baduns' truck took with shock and dismay at what has happened.
Zoe: Why would someone steal Kero?
Elsewhere in the countryside, the Baduns's truck appears through the portal and it pulls over to an abandoned house. Once entering the front door, they come into the living room, with the Baduns carrying a cage with the captured Kero. Cruella comes down from the stairs.
Cruella: Yes. You've got him.
Kaecilius: As you have requested, Miss de Vil. If that's all you, I will be heading back.
Cruella gestures to Kaecilius to move on, which he bows to, and uses a Sling Ring to be gone. Now they have Kero, Jasper and Horace open the cage to let out Kero, muzzled. Cruella walks over, simply petting on his fur.
Cruella: Oh, such a fine set of furs. Your little friend is so lucky, darling. She must've slept in this, hasn't she?
Kero: Hey, back off. I may have fur, but I'm not a sleeping bag. Sure, it's cold out there in winter, but that's reason to think-
Cruella: [laughs] No, no, no, dear. I don't want you to be my bed, I want you to be a part of my… fashion. Using your coat. Create a masterpiece in a new medium. I've been told that you are a guardian beast, and modeled after the fabled lion, where they're told to have exquisite fur. A creature who is king of the jungle, but to the eyes of humanity… something greater. Together, you and I will stun the world with our ruthless originality!
Kero: But that means….
Then Kero gasps upon realizing what she truly has in mind for him.
Kero: Skinning me?! How do you think I can be skinned for someone's fur coat?
Jasper: Poisonin'.
Horace: Drownin'.
Cruella: Bashing in the head.
Kero: Well… I'm leaving.
Kero spreads his wings and takes flight, but he has a collar around his neck that shocks him. He falls down to the ground, unable to fly.
Cruella: Oh, poor lion. Don't be such a disappointment. Because if I can't have a Dalmation coat, at least I'll eventually have a famous beast coat. That's almost as good. Don't you agree?
Kero: [gulps]
Act Five
Back in Dukesberry the next morning, Cobalt and the others, including Saber, are told by the MIB about Kero's capture on video phone.
Direwolf: Keroberos? Kidnapped?
Zed: Yep. Ashley said it was Kaecilius who took him, and there was a break-in at Honeydukes as a diversion.
Cobalt: What could the Zealots want with the candy-munching teddy bear?
K: No ransom note, no contact since the incident. Yet they knew what they were after. But Zoe Hansen, who works at Honeydukes, said it was Horace and Jasper.
When he hears that, Cobalt stares in horror and realization.
Cobalt: I think I know why. Cruella is behind this.
J: Cruella? The devil woman?
Cobalt: She wants to make a coat out of him.
Direwolf: She couldn't!
Hellboy: [skeptical] Oh, a cat-skin coat? Get outta here.
Proto: Aren't you going to do something?
Zed: We'll try to trace them anywhere on the planet, gentlemen. We'll contact you once we have something.
Cobalt: Copy. Over and out.
Cobalt turns off the monitor, ending the video phone.
Cobalt: I should've known. Cruella is always known for having a fur-fetish, and she would take anything with fur to make her a new coat.
Saber: We are going to do something about it, right? Because if we don't rescue him, he could be butchered before we know it.
Proto: There may be a way. Because all of the civilians, both li-ac and toon, we've rescued during the war have been installed with a microchip, in case of emergencies.
Proto opens a hidden hatch on his forearm to reveal a mini-screen. He presses a few keys in front of it, and it shows a GPS of Kero's location: Chem. Perry.
Proto: Found him. He's in Gatineau.
Cobalt: Back home? Wait, that place has been abandoned for years, while only the capital's being rebuilt. That's the easiest place to hide.
Direwolf: It's too late to call for backup, since Zed has only had enough energy to use the Sling Ring once.
Saber: We could try calling Doctor Strange.
Direwolf: He's not with us… but Kero was. He was with us when we formed the Resistance, he retired after a few years, and he's the sole survivor of the old Resistance Centre. You all know the Resistance credo.
Cobalt: "Never shoot the innocent".
Direwolf: No.
Proto: "Always be careful of what you wish for"?
Direwolf: Not even close.
Saber: I know! Kill or be killed!
Direwolf: No, that's the law of the jungle. It's "never march alone".
Trio: Ooooohhhhhhh.
Hellboy: You guys can go on ahead. I have to stay here to make sure Stone doesn't get into trouble again.
Cobalt: That's fine by us. [to the others] To the van.
Cobalt, Proto, Direwolf and Saber all get in a red Dodge caravan to drive and leave Dukesberry for the rescue. In the back seats, Cobalt and Direwolf are sitting together where they can have a private talk to themselves.
Direwolf: Now, what did you mean by being homesick?
Cobalt: It was a fair question, sir. Because now the world's going back to-
Direwolf: Cobalt, I know what you're getting at. You and Saber were born in Canada, and now it's opening again, everyone would want to go there.
Cobalt: Well, that…. We're the last Canadians, including Ashley, but now it's….
Direwolf: Actually… that was proven wrong. So many Canadian survivors were sheltered in the New York ruins to hide themselves. I asked Zed about it.
Cobalt: What I'm trying to say is, I miss my old home, General. I want to go back, but with the war, I don't know how we could do this.
Direwolf: Look, it's Christmas time. People are always thinking about so many things at once. It happens, but just… give yourself some time.
Saber: Say, one question. How do you think we could do when we get there?
Proto: Oh, I know. We can do…. [menacingly] The Bomb. [cackles]
Cobalt: Stand down, soldier. When we get there, we'll be in recon mode.
Proto: [dismayed] Aw, nuts.
Meanwhile, Doctor Strange is walking down in Diagon Alley, which is now vacant and dimly lit. As he walks through the place, he pauses, hearing someone crying. From in an alleyway, he walks over to it and peaks inside it. It is Ashley crying, with Zoe comforting her.
Strange: So you're Ashley.
When she hears him, she turns to notice Strange.
Ashley: Doctor Strange?
Strange: Don't you be so depressed. Here, dry your eyes.
Stranges removes a handkerchief from his jacket pocket and hands it to her. Ashley takes the handkerchief and blows her nose. She gives it back to Strange, taking a seat beside her, and he puts it back in his pocket.
Strange: There you go. By the way, I just heard. I'm terribly sorry for Kero.
Ashley: [sadly] I…. I had no idea it would be Kaecilius kidnaping him. But I… wish I was able to save him.
Zoe: Don't worry. Cobalt and the others will find him.
Strange: She's right. They'll do whatever it takes to get him back. You, on the other hand, should just go home and have a little faith in them. Good day.
Strange takes his leave out of the alleyway, leaving the girls by themselves.
Ashley: But I can't just stay here and wait. I should… go out there and….
Zoe: I know what you mean. But, uh…. I wish I could, but I just-
Ashley: But I thought you were a Mew Mew.
Zoe: [sadly] Yeah. I was. But that was after my show was cancelled for English dubbing.
Zoe sits down beside Ashley, still looking sad about something.
Zoe: Back when the Resistance was… setting itself up, they crossover into my world, asking for our recruitment. Me and my friends. Well, we didn't trust them because they were li-acs, and… you get the idea anyway. One night, the Dark Side invaded us. Maleficent cast her spell, we fought back, and in the end… only I escaped. I tried to find my friends, but all I had was this.
She reveals a scar on her left shoulder to Ashley, which makes her gasp in shock, and Zoe conceals it under her shirt.
Zoe: And just so you'd know, I didn't join them because I wanted to avenge them or anything. I got here because…. I…. I lost them all. My family, my friends… so many to them. I had nothing left back there, so the General offered me salvation in Resistance Centre. I would've wanted to do something when we were fighting the Dark Side, but nobody cares about my show anymore. I got canceled without remorse and no one knows who I am.
Ashley: But I do. You're one of the superheroes who protected the world from the Cyniclons. Ever since your debut, I've been a diehard fan of Mew Mew Power. I was heartbroken when it was canceled, because I didn't know about the endangered species until your show. All I could think about was collecting donations to help them rebuild their population so they wouldn't go extinct and nobody would see them again or at all. I owe it all to you and your friends, but now I'm asking you… to help me.
Zoe is stunned to hear Ashley complementing her and her show. To her, it is like something she longed to hear from someone, and she gives her a warm smile.
Zoe: Okay. If I was to know you were a fan, I would've wanted to ask if you wanted an autograph. So… we'll do it. Meet me at Gringotts in fifteen minutes.
Afterwards, Zoe is in her room, rummaging around to go looking for something, until her door is knocked. She walks over to answer it, and her boyfriend Mark is there.
Zoe: [stunned] Mark? [nervously] Look, uh… now's not the good time for-
Mark: Did I disturb you or something? I just heard that Honeydukes had a break-in last night.
Zoe: Oh that. It was only those two idiots Horace and Jasper. Simply trying to break in for some free candy.
Mark: Well, I'm just glad that you're alright. I was worried something bad happened to you. Anyway, I wanted to see if you're alright, so… see you then, and merry Christmas.
As he leaves, Zoe is flushing red for his concern over her, but she snaps out of it to get back to go looking for something.
Later, Zoe is spying on some Resistance technicians working on the monitor. She quietly looks at the screen, and she sees a message from Direwolf, saying Kero is located and Zoe peers at the location name, much to her glee before she dashes off.
Meanwhile, Ashley stands alone at the doorstep of Gringotts, the wizard bank, waiting for Zoe to meet up with her. Then Zoe shows up with a small plastic bag of powder in hand.
Zoe: Sorry for the wait. I had Mark coming in from my door, and I spy on the monitor for some info.
Ashley: What'd you find?
Zoe: I've looked at Direwolf's message, and he said he's tracing Kero's microchip to Gatineau.
Ashley: Back to Quebec? But how can we get there? We can't even drive the Magic School Bus.
Zoe: Ashley, we don't need the bus. I went out to buy some floo powder. And I had to bring out this.
She shows Ashley her Power Pendant on the other hand.
Zoe: It's been a while, but…. Power Pendant, Metamorphesis!
With the Power Pendant, Zoe transforms into her Mew Mew form, just like she once had so long ago.
Zoe: Wow. It still fits. [posing] Mew Mew style, Mew Mew grace. Mew Mew Power, in your face.
Ashley: Wow, you look like how I remembered you.
Next, the pair both walk over to the fireplace inside the bank, which is vacant as well, and Zoe opens the bag of floo powder.
Zoe: Alright, grab a handful of it, and don't forget to speak very clearly.
Ashley: But where in Gatineau?
Zoe: It's Chem. Perry.
They both get in the fireplace with each a handful of the powder.
Ashley: Oh, I remember this. But we both have to speak very, very clearly.
Zoe: Right.
Both: Chem. Perry.
The powder is thrown down and they burst into green flames, disappearing.
Act Six
In another house, Ashley and Zoe both pop out from a fireplace, nearly covered in soot. They manage to cough the stuff out of their lunges, but they see the place is completely emptied. Ashley marches outside, knowing she's in the right street. Zoe comes out to join her.
Ashley: This is Perry alright. But… which house?
Zoe: From what I can tell, this place has been abandoned for quite some time, and- Wait.
Zoe's left cat ear begins to perk up, listening to a car engine's roaring. She looks down at the road to see Cruella's car coming this way.
Zoe: Hide!
Zoe and Ashley both duck behind the bushes before Cruella's car drives past them down the road. They lift their heads up to watch it go and make a stop at one house.
Zoe: There it is. Let's go see if Kero's alright. Let's go, girl.
Ashley: Yeah, yeah.
As the two friends go to that house, Cruella angrily paces in the living room, while Horace and Jasper watch How the Grinch stole Christmas on TV. Kero is being locked in a birdcage hanging up from the ceiling.
Cruella: I've got no time to argue! It's got to be done tonight!
Jasper: Shh!
While Horace plugs his ears, Jasper raises the volume on TV. Cruella switches off the TV and turns to face her goons.
Cruella: I mean it. It must be done. Tonight!
Ashley and Zoe peer at the broken window to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Horace: But it ain't Christmas yet.
Jasper: Calm it down there, miss. We all remember the errors of our ways. We'll get on with it, and it won't be the same as the last time.
Ashley: [whispering] "Last time"? Like when they almost killed puppies for coats?
Cruella: It's more than just that! Time is not on our side. The Resistance are everywhere. I want the job done right this minute!
Kero: Um, hate to break into this conversation you're having, but I should say a few things around here. My true form is very impressive, but killing me and skinning me would take a lot of time to get this job done right this minute. Well, I have no experience with it, but I'd know some-
Cruella: Shut your tiny mouth now!
Kero: Lady, if you kill me, you'll be sorry.
Cruella: I'll be even more sorry, when Maleficent cuts my head off. But you think I'm not taking this serious?
The angry Cruella snatches Jasper's wine bottle and throws it in the fireplace where it explodes. Horace leaps into his brother's arms, Kero flies to the top of the cage, and the girls take cover. She shakes the birdcage, shaking Kero back down.
Cruella: You will be my Christmas gift, as soon as this mission is over. And you're just lucky these two idiots are doing it. [to the Baduns] Now, listen, you idiots! I'll be back in ten to eleven, and the job better be done or I'll… I'll call Maleficent! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?!
She angrily slams the door, causing a crack to appear that travels up the wall and to the ceiling, where a chunk of plaster lands on Horace's head. He's unharmed from this though.
Kero: Man! This woman can give Sakura nightmares.
Horace: [considerate] Isn't ten to eleven in almost two hours, Jasper?
Jasper: Ah, it is. That's more than enough time we need. We'll butcher the little beast as soon as the show's over.
Jasper turns the TV set back on and leans back to enjoy the show with Horace. The screen fizzles to see the Grinch shoving the tree up to the chimney. But Kero is worried because he'll be killed off, but she sees Zoe jumping inside with Ashley without being noticed by the henchmen.
Kero: Zoe? Zoe!
Zoe: Shhh.
Zoe tiptoes to the cage, trying to find a way of opening it.
Zoe: [whispering] It's locked. How can I get you out?
Kero: [whispering] The key's hanging on the wall there by the doorway. But hurry. The show's almost over.
Zoe sees the key hanging by a nail on the wall, and she tiptoes again to go get it, right before they're caught off guard by the sound of Horace talking. The two girls hid behind the furniture.
Horace: Jasper, I've been thinkin'.
Jasper: Now, Horace. I heard what the cat said. He's probably watching the show as well and mistook one of the characters for someone else.
Horace: But what if there's somebody in the house, trying to free him?
Horace shines his flashlight across the living room, just as Ashley's feet are near the flashlight. Jasper yanks Horace back in his seat.
Jasper: Aw, Horace, you idiot! There's no way anyone could find us here.
Ashley breathes a sigh of relief, as the goons continue watching the show, which is almost over. Zoe makes her way over to the key and gently pulls it out. But she knocks over a vase that shatters on the floor, but it was drowned by the loud sounds of the Grinch blowing his trumpet. The coast is clear, so she walks over to the birdcage to unlock it with the key. Now Kero is freed, Ashley runs to him quietly and hugs Kero in relief.
Ashley: [whispering] Oh Kero. I'm so sorry.
Kero: [whispering] No, don't be. You knew what you had to do.
Zoe: [whispering] C'mon, guys. We gotta move.
The three friends make their way out of the living room, just as Horace and Jasper start their job.
Jasper: [yawns] Ah, oh well. C'mon, Horace. Let's get on with it.
The brothers get their usual weapons: Jasper grabs a fire poker, and Horace pulls off a chair leg for a club.
Jasper: I'll pop him on the head, you do the skinnin'.
Horace: Oh, no, you don't, Jasper! I'll pop him off and you do the skinnin'.
And then, Jasper notices Kero is gone with the birdcage emptied.
Jasper: Hey, Horace, look! He's gone! He must've used magic to bring in the key, right from the wall. Here, grab a torch. We'll run him down before you can say "Bob's your uncle".
They leave the living room and enter the foyer, searching the area with their flashlights. They hear a creaking noise coming from upstairs. Jasper leads the way up, followed by Horace, and when they make it to the top, there is no one in sight.
Horace: Nothin'. I think he just flew away.
Jasper: Shut up. He can't fly with that collar on him. Now, take a squint in there, and I'll check these other two rooms.
Horace goes to explore one of the bedrooms while Jasper enters another one and starts searching for them.
Jasper: Come on now, little guy. You ain't got nothin'. You can't mess around with ol' Jasper.
He looks under the bed and is startled by Zoe, screeching like a cat. Jasper gets plowed over by the girls running over him.
Jasper: Horace! It's that mangy tabby cat! She's here! Head 'em off!
Horace runs up to his brother to back him up. Horace collides into Jasper, as they both go tumbling down the stairs.
Jasper: You bungling blockhead!
Zoe leads Ashley and Kero downstairs and right under the stairwell to hide from the crooks, who are catching right up with them. They quiet down, just as Horace and Jasper come down the stairs.
Jasper: [complaining] Double-crossin' little twerp, pullin' a snitch on us, and after we treated him so nicely. There's gratitude for you.
Horace: It ain't fair, Jasper.
The girls begin to tiptoe out from under the stairwell, until Ashley lets out a loud sneeze.
Jasper: Hey, Horace, there they go!
The three friends are forced to make a break for it.
Ashley: Kero, fly!
Kero: I can't! I can transform, but not…. [realizing] Wait. I got it!
Kero jumps off of Ashley's shoulder, transforms into his true form, and he roars like a lion at Jasper and Horace. It scares Horace, making him run into Jasper without looking, and they crash into the wall where they create a large series of cracks that travel up the ceiling and cause large chunks of plaster to land on them.
Kero: [to the girls] Get on my back! I can run!
Ashley and Zoe both get on Kero's back, and the guardian beast makes a run to leave the house and rush over to safety, just as an angry Horace and Jasper burst outside.
Jasper: [angrily] I'll teach that bloody lion to scare the likes of me if it's the last thing I do!
Act Seven
In another abandoned house, just a mile away, Cobalt and the others are setting up their tracking equipment to trace Kero's signature. Proto wires his cyborg arm onto the satellite dish and the TV screen, but he is having a hard time setting it up. He hits the TV with a hammer.
Proto: There. I've finished fine-tuning my tracing system into this television. It should help us track down Kero's microchip anywhere in the area, accurate to within one-tenth of a plausibility unit.
Cobalt: That's so plausible I can't believe it!
Direwolf: But is there any luck in finding him, Proto?
Proto: So far, no. But we should find him somewhere.
Direwolf: Give us the heads up then. Captain, scour the place. See what you can find.
Cobalt salutes to Direwolf and walks away. He steps outside, where Saber is standing at the front porch to watch the countryside of Canada in thought.
Cobalt: It feels good to be back home, isn't it?
Saber: Yeah, it does. I mean… I was so little when we had to leave here. Do you…? Do you have any memories of here? During the holidays?
Cobalt: In fact, I do. It was about when you were… just a super smaller than me in our toddler-age. I remember the time mom and dad would take us to get a tree from the countryside like this. Maybe, somewhere in Ontario. We put it on the car roof, drive home and hear White Christmas by Bing Crosby; the 1947 remake on the radio, have… hot chocolate from Tim Hortons.
Saber: I…. I remember that too. And every Christmas Eve, we go to Aunt Mary's for supper before we could… go home and wait for Santa. The only thing I don't like about Christmas Day is… going to church. So quiet in there.
Cobalt chuckles at remembering that too, but he gets a concerned look on his face to look at the landscape in thought.
Cobalt: You know, Saber… I was thinking… we could… stay here.
Saber: Stay here… and leave the Resistance?
Cobalt: No. We can't leave, not with the Dark Side out there. What I mean to say is… we could relocate ourselves here in Canada. Since we've gotten all the survivors from the last base, we now know that we may have to set us back here for a safer location. This time, we won't let the enemy find us.
Saber: Well, if the General agrees to that. And some of us stayed in Universal for a job and stuff.
Cobalt: He would have to agree with it, because he's Canadian too. Even Proto is of Canadian origin, although his ancestors were Irish.
Saber: I thought Direwolf was born in Las Vegas.
Cobalt: He was, but he's still Canadian by blood.
Saber: Cobalt, don't you remember Thor: Ragnarok? Asgard was destroyed, the Asgardians lost it all, but it didn't stop Thor from giving up hope. Because to Odin, Asgard could just be its people instead of the land. We are Canadians because we were born here, and that's it. And truth to be told… America is more like a home to me than back here.
Cobalt: But you haven't been here as long as I have.
Saber: You were six years old, yeah. But if we relocate here, how could we stop the Dark Side of Disney from across the continent?
Cobalt: We've always got the Magic School Bus and… we could ask Doctor Strange to teach us how to use the Sling Rings. I'm just saying… we could….
But then, the two brothers hear footsteps coming from ahead. With caution, they just pick up sticks instead of guns and they prepare themselves for battle. Cobalt is the first to go down; he walks down the porch, Saber follows him, and the footsteps are getting closer.
Saber: [whispers] Could it be a bear?
Cobalt: [whispers] I don't know. It sounds… too light to be one.
The footsteps get closer, coming from the bushes. And then, Cobalt pounces on the intruder to whack it with his stick, and the bushes rustle for there is a fight going on in there. A creature comes out to pin Cobalt on the ground out of the bushes, and it's revealed to be Kero all along.
Kero: Cobalt?
Cobalt: Kero?! What the hell?!
Kero: Sorry about that.
Ashley: Jack! Dieter!
Ashley comes out from hiding, hugging the brothers one at a time. Kero reverts to his borrowed form as Zoe comes out as well.
Cobalt: Zoe too?
Back inside, Proto is still tracking Kero, until the signal is lost.
Proto: Dammit! I lost the signal!
Cobalt: Hey guys, look who's here!
Cobalt and Saber bring in the others to Direwolf and Proto, who are both surprised to see them.
Direwolf: Kero. Thank God you're okay.
Kero: You should thank Ashley and Zoe for the rescue. They were the ones who brought me out.
Direwolf: Zoe, you're…. You're back in your old suit?
Zoe: Yeah. Still fits me perfectly after all these years. Pretty amazing, huh?
Ashley: Dieter, Kero can't fly. He's got a collar around him that just prevents him from doing magic.
Cobalt: Really? That's new.
Kero: Well, I can still change to my true form. But I can't fly or breathe fire while I'm wearing it.
Proto: Maybe the MIB can remove it for you.
Zoe: But we have other things to worry about. Horace and Jasper are going to look for us here.
Proto: Oh, I know! We do the Bomb! C'mon, let me use the Bomb!
Cobalt: Proto? Seamus! Get your mind out of the dynamite.
Direwolf: Nothing to worry. We've got them outnumbered. When they come in, we'll attack.
Saber: But how? None of us are armed, the van's got only a few pieces of equipment, and Cobalt… isn't wearing his War Machine suit.
Cobalt: He's right. And they're both toons, so facing them will not be as simple as it should be for us.
Proto: It gets worse. None of us are in communications' range. We're completely on our own.
Zoe: [worried] What are you guys saying? We're… doomed? In a home, alone from the world with bandits chasing us?
Ashley is worried as well, but when she listens to Zoe's questions, she gets an idea. She rushes down the door on the wall, and she opens it to find a garage full of stuff.
Zoe: Ashley? What are you…?
Ashley: I got it! I have an idea. We'll set booby traps all over the place, just like Home Alone.
Direwolf: Home Alone? The movie?
Cobalt: Hey, that is an idea.
Ashley: Help me out here, you guys. I know a few traps of my own to make.
Proto: Guys, she has a point. What do you say?
Kero: It might work. The Baduns are idiots after all.
Direwolf: Alright. Commence Operation: Ho-Ho-Hellhole.
Everyone grabs some stuff from the garage and sets up booby traps inside and outside the house. During this time, Proto is driving the van into the garage before its door closes, and he sets up his equipment for the monitor to have a visual of everything in the house.
Saber is on the roof, keeping a watchful eye on the road. He then sees the Baduns driving their truck down the road as they follow their tracks.
Saber: [to walkie talkie] Guys, lights on the road. It's a truck heading this way.
Cobalt: [through speakers] Copy that. Make for the position. We stay hidden until it's time.
Saber puts down the walkie talkie and disappears into the house.
Act Eight
The truck pulls over to the side of the road, and the Baduns both get out to look at the tracks leading to the house ahead of them.
Jasper: That's where the tracks lead. Let's go in and get 'em.
Horace: Hold on, Jasper. Do you suppose this could be like Home Alone? I mean, two kids walking into a house and bandits come in during Christmas time until they stumble upon booby traps?
Jasper: What are you talking about? This ain't like the Home Alone movies. This ain't Chicago or New York, and it's just two girls. They ain't gonna be a problem.
Before Jasper gets to approach the house by the driveway, both he and Horace hear a car blowing its horn.
Cruella's voice: Jasper! Horace!
Cruella is parked right behind the truck, and the two goons walk over to her car.
Cruella: Well?
Jasper: Aw, now, be reasonable, miss.
Horace: It's only ten past ten after all.
Jasper: The cat is just in the house, and he's got only two girls with him.
Cruella: They're somewhere in that house, and you're going to find them! Now, get going!
As Cruella speeds off, the Baduns both walk over to the house. Unbeknownst to them, there's a security camera over the front porch with Cobalt and his friends watching them in the van.
Saber: Is it gonna work?
Cobalt: Stay quiet.
Horace is the first to climb the porch stairs. He cautiously taps on the doorknob, and he pulls it, but it comes right off with it tied to a string. Inside the house, Zoe is pulling the string tied to the doorknob for a tug-of-war.
Horace: The bloody….
Horace pulls hard, and Zoe pulls hard back. The two pull each other back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and Horace pulls farther than before. Then Zoe pulls harder to drag Horace to the door, smacking his face on it, and he rolls down the stairs like a ball. Jasper checks up on Horace, whose vision is acting blurry after that hit.
Jasper: How many fingers am I holding up, Horace?
Horace: [dizzy] Uh…. Eeeeeee…. Nine?
Jasper is puzzled by that answer, but he just shrugs at it. He walks up to the door, and pulls the doorknob harder than how Horace did it before.
Jasper: If you're in there cat, I never lose at tug-of-war.
Jasper puts the rope in between his legs, wraps his arm around it, and pulls hard enough to nearly make Zoe fall down. But Ashley tiptoes towards the door with a nail gun. She puts the nozzle at the doorknob hole and fires a nail at Jasper's ass, which agonizes him.
Jasper: EEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!
Jasper falls to his knees, as Horace regains his bearings to meet up with his brother, who pulls out the nail from his ass.
Horace: [shocked] What? That?
Jasper: This.
Horace: In your bu-
Jasper: Worse than that.
Horace: Blimey!
Jasper: That's it! No more mister nice guy! Horace, there's a walk-in basement over there. You go in there and I'll take the back.
Jasper makes his way across the snowy yard to go to the backside. When he makes it to the side, he stops when he discovers a hammer hanging by a tree. He snickers to asume it's a failed trap, but he falls into a deep hole and it causes the tree to twitch, having the hammer to fall right onto him.
Meanwhile, Horace looks down to see a stairway that leads down to the door to the basement, which is underneath the front porch. The moment he takes his first step on it, Horace slips down the stairs, and ends up landing hard against the basement door.
Horace: [panting] …Ow.
Horace tries to get up. He discovers the floor is not covered in ice like the stairs he took, so he stands up perfectly. Now he's up, Horace tries to open the door, but it won't budge, so he tries to kick it open, which hurts his foot.
Horace: Aye-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yo. [falls]
Back with Jasper, he climbs himself out of the hole, while through the hammer away that put a mark on his forehead. He mutters for this sudden trap, makes his way over the snow, but his foot trips over a wire, where he falls onto his back and a garbage can on the roof pours down trash all over his face.
In the house, Zoe and Ashley see the event and hear Jasper groaning in disgust.
Ashley: [giggling] I can't wait to tell Sakura about this.
Zoe: Let's get ready.
Outside, Horace regains himself after the injury he got from when he tried to kick open the door. He finds a window that leads to the basement, so Horace carefully climbs back up the icy steps to go there. He gets to the window and opens the shutters, but that triggers something. A boot is catapulted to him, hitting Horace on the face with the boot.
At the back, Jasper sputters some trash out of his mouth, even taking a banana peel off of his head. He sees the stairs to the backdoor, much to his joy.
Jasper: There it is.
He makes his way there. But he ends up on ice, and he tries to balance on the ice to try not to fall down, then he freezes with a pose. Just when he is in the clear, Jasper slips down and slides across the icy yard to hit a tree, which drops snow all over him until he's buried. Jasper drills himself out with his fire poker until he gets his head out.
Jasper: I'm gonna murder those kids. [pauses; sneezes]
Meanwhile, Horace recovers from that shoe shot to his face. With his chair-leg club, he breaks another window to the basement, slides himself through, and lands softly on solid ground.
Horace: Jasper?! I'm in the house!
But then, he sinks a bit and there is a soft squelch as he sinks to his ankles. Horace discovers he is ankle-deep in wet cement. He tries to get off of it, but the cement dries up and Horace lands headfirst to the ground.
Horace: [muffled] This is not like in the movies.
In the snow pile, Jasper digs the snow off of himself and he frees himself, before he slips on the ice again. But Jasper has an idea; he kneels on the ice and rows himself across with the fire poker like an oar to get across, and make it to the stairs.
But in the van, Proto sees the scene from the monitor and he flips on the car battery to activate something.
Jasper: Here I go.
Jasper reaches to grab the banister, but when he touches it, it electrifies him with pure electricity and he screams like a maniac with it. Proto dials the meter of the power up to make it higher, and he turns it off to shut it down.
In the basement, Horace takes a few steps forward with small gray-tan clouds of dust erupting on the floor due to his shoes covered in cement powder. He cautiously walks across the basement to see anyone. He finds the basement door, and finds out it is nailed, which explains why he had a hard time kicking it open.
Horace: That explains it.
But then, he sees a light coming from behind the door. He smirks to think someone is in there, so he readies his club before reaching out to open it. When he opens it, a toy spider comes falling down on a string. Horace, horrified by the spider, lets out a blood curdling scream of his own. He backs away and slips on a soccer ball, which ricochets off the wall and beans him squarely on the face. He stumbles back onto a skateboard, slips, and ends up in the bathroom with his head in the toilet, which flushes. Horace pulls head out, now soaking wet with toilet water.
Back outside, Jasper is still a bit shocked by the way he was electrocuted from the banister. Instead of just holding onto it, he crawls up the stairs on all fours, reaching for the door slowly. He stands up straight before he walks to the door, but he cautiously taps on the door to make sure it's not hot, electric or slippery.
Jasper: Ha-ha-ha. Now that's more like it.
He carefully opens the door, takes a little peek through the door, and sees no one or a trap anywhere.
Jasper: Ya better do better than this, kids.
Jasper opens the door all the way. Right behind him, a blowtorch fires at his rear end, setting his pants on fire as he screams in pain. He jumps back, patting the fire out in a panic, but he falls down the stairs, then he sits on the snow to put out the inferno. When he gets up, his trousers are burnt to the boxers.
Back downstairs, Horace spits some of the liquid out of his mouth, and he finds a towel to wipe his face with it. He gets out of the bathroom to look around some more, and he finds a rope that leads up the stairs, but there are a lot of jacks underneath it.
Horace: Jasper? Is that you?
Horace carefully walks over the jacks to reach the rope. He touches it, and pulls it hard to see if it's not another booby trap. After a few more hard pulls, he finds out it's not a trap at all.
Horace: [chuckles] I'm comin' up!
So Horace begins to pull himself upward on the rope. But then, the rope snaps, and he lands on the jack pile. Crazed with pain, Horace runs around the room, squealing and holding his backside. He pulls the jacks off him, but he is even more furious.
Horace: I'M GONNA KILL THOSE KIDS!
Meanwhile, Jasper looks at his scorch trousers and he taps on his butt, which is tender to him. He takes off the pants, climbs back up the stairs and he walks inside without being burned by the blowtorch again. Then Ashley reveals herself, and she gasps in horror.
Jasper: Gotcha!
Jasper makes a run on the rug, and it's revealed to be a trapdoor that makes him fall down to the basement.
Ashley: Seeya.
Now the Baduns are back together in the basement, where they're stunned to see what's happened to them.
Horace: Jasper?
Jasper: Horace?
Horace: Why did you take your trousers off?
Jasper: Why do you smell like a toilet?
Act Nine
The two just stare at each other in silence, until they look to see Kero standing by the stairs.
Kero: Don't you know curiosity killed the cat?
Then Kero makes his way up the stairs.
Horace: Hey! Get back down, you little runt, and stay!
Horace and Jasper make their way to go get him, until they slip on Micro Machines on the floor. When Jasper is down, Horace runs up the stairs, but he slips on a rolling pin that is left there and he falls back down. Jasper gets up and runs up the stairs, walking over the rolling pin.
Jasper: Don't worry, Horace. I'll get him before you could say-
But he steps on a wire, and he looks up to find a basket hanging over that is dumping mixed vegetables.
Jasper: Mixed vegetables?
The veggies fall right on top of Jasper, and it causes him to fall back down the stairs.
Horace: That was new, Jasper. And I saw more.
Jasper: Ah, shut up, you idiot!
Horace: Blimey.
Jasper: What?
Horace: You've got moss on your face.
Jasper feels the stuff on his face, seeing it is moss.
Jasper: Oh, you're right. One of them was rotten? [angrily] I'll kill 'em! Now, get up!
The Baduns both regain their bearings, and they run up the stairs.
Jasper: You bang me with one more thing, I'll snap off your private parts and boil 'em in motor oil!
On the main floor, Ashley and Zoe pick up Kero from the ground, and run up the stairs to the second floor, just before the Baduns come up. When they hear the footsteps, Jasper takes the lead, but Horace stops him at the stop.
Horace: Wait a minute. Don't you remember what happened in Home Alone 2?
Jasper: [pauses] Remember what?
Horace makes stepping noises on the stairs to make the girls think he's heading up, then a paint can swings down, but Horace ducks from it.
Horace: D'OH! They got me in the face! [whispering] That's one.
Jasper: Oh. Don't worry, Horace. I'll get 'em for ya.
Jasper does the same thing, just before a second paint can swings over.
Jasper: Ow! Right in the kisser! [snickers]
Horace: That's two. Now, let's try it together.
They both pretend to run upstairs again, just before an iron bar comes swinging over.
Both: BANG! [snickers]
Horace: That's three.
Jasper: Smart thinkin', Horace me lad. Now let's get 'em.
Now they climb the stairs for real, Ashley throws in something new: a bunch of baseball bats.
Jasper: [shocked] Blimey!
The bats bang the Baduns, sending them back into the basement through the hole where Jasper fell.
Jasper: That's… four.
Then the bats are cut off from the banister they're hanging from, and fall right on top of them.
Horace: Five.
Now on the second floor, the girls hold onto each other and zipline to a tree in the woods. But from across the road, Cruella is watching them from inside her car.
Cruella: I don't believe it. It's impossible.
Back in the house, Horace and Jasper make their way up the stairs to go get the girls again.
Jasper: You brats better say every prayer you've heard before!
Horace: I hope your parents got you tombstones for Christmas!
But when they reach the second floor, they are gone. They find the line the girls used to zipline, but no sign of them anywhere.
Jasper: Where'd they go?
Horace: They're cats, right? Maybe they jumped outside and landed in the snow.
Jasper: I don't see their tracks.
Then, they see them standing at the edge of the woods when Ashley calls to them.
Ashley: We're over here, ya jackasses! Come and get us before we call the Resistance!
Horace: [panicked] Let's get outta here!
Jasper: Wait, wait. That's what they want us to think. To just turn tail and run while they go for the escape.
Horace: But they'll call for backup.
Jasper: Calling for backup? FROM A TREEHOUSE?! C'mon.
Instead of ziplining, Jasper and Horace just climb over the rope to the woods.
Meanwhile, Cobalt and the others are watching the scene through the monitor.
Saber: Oh, this is getting good.
Direwolf: We're filming this, right? Because I would like to have it on YouTube for everyone to see.
Proto: [alarmed] Wait, hold on. We've got a rogue coming in.
Proto switches the scene to outside the house's perimeter, where Cruella's car is parked right next to the house.
Cobalt: It's Cruella. She's here.
Proto: Oh, this is bad. With her, this could jeopardize the escape route.
Saber: What do we do now?
Cobalt is thinking of another plan of helping the girls' escape, and then he gets an idea.
Cobalt: I got it. We'll do phase 2 of Operation: Ho-Ho-Hell… with a little help from you-know-what.
Proto: [excitedly] Does that mean… the Bomb?
Cobalt: Yes, Proto. The Bomb.
Back outside, the Baduns are halfway climbing to the woods, but Horace gets a feeling about this.
Horace: Jasper?
Jasper: Not now, Horace. We're halfway there.
Horace: But what if this is the final booby trap? And they'd just cut the rope?
Jasper: Now, how do you think they would cut a rope without scissors?
Then Kero changes to his true form and climbs up the tree where the rope is tied, before he retracts one of his claws. He calls to them, and they notice him.
Kero: Hey guys. Merry Christmas.
Jasper: [gasps] Go back!
Horace: [screams]
The Baduns try to climb back to the house, then Kero cuts the rope with his claw, causing them to be swung into the side of the house, and they fall into a shed through the roof.
Act Ten
With the Baduns defeated, Ashley, Zoe and Kero all cheer for their success, until they get startled by gunfire. They look back to see Cruella pointing a pistol at them.
Cruella: Darlings, failure isn't my colour. Give me the beast.
But Zoe stands protectively in front of Kero and Ashley.
Zoe: No way. You're not going to do anything with Kero.
Cruella: That wasn't a request. Give me the beast, or you'll be a coat as well!
[explosion]
The explosion comes from the garage, where the door is blown up. And then, with the song War by Edwin Starr is played, the van drives outside, much to Cruella's shock.
Cruella: The Resistance?!
The van swerves around, and Proto kicks open the trunk doors to fire his plasma rifle, making Cruella duck inside her car for cover.
Proto: Get in, hurry!
Now the coast is clear, Ashley, Zoe and Kero all run for the van, which is driving off.
Cruella: Jasper! Horace!
She impatiently blasts the car horn, while Jasper and Horace struggle to burst through the shed door. They then knock it down right into her face, as it turns out she was parked right outside.
Cruella: It's the Resistance! In the van! After them! After them!
As Zoe and Ashley jump for the van, Kero trips on the snow, as Horace and Jasper close in on him. Fortunately, as Direwolf comes over to Proto's side, he fires an RPG-7 at Horace and Jasper, giving Kero enough time to escape. Kero jumps onto the tailgate; the van hits a bump, almost forcing Kero to fall off the tailgate, but he keeps a firm grip on the wood surface and pulls himself on board. The van makes a left turn out of the neighbourhood and takes the main road.
Proto: That… was the Bomb!
Cobalt: Awesome idea, man.
Direwolf: Well, Proto's not just a weapons expert. But he's also a demolition expert.
Saber: Now we can go back.
Just then, Cruella and the Baduns drive up in their vehicles, with Cruella quickly following the van and the Baduns taking an opposite road.
Kero: [alarmed] Guys! Crazy lady's coming!
Cobalt: Proto, take the wheel!
Proto takes over to drive the van as Cruella comes from behind the van and rams against it to force it off the road.
Proto: Hey lady, get a life! I'm driving here!
Cobalt: [to himself] Like she would buy that.
Cruella drives to the left and slams into the van again. She thrashes against the van wildly, almost flinging everyone away, while Proto struggles to keep his van on the road. Just then, she sees a road barrier and tries to stop her car, but it crashes through the barrier and ends up in a ditch, while the van crosses the bridge.
That doesn't stop Cruella, as she puts her car in reverse and goes full speed ahead on the other side of the hill. Her car reaches the top and hits a grove of trees, shedding off some of its parts. Cruella is now a psychopath on wheels, as her car now resembles a hot rod.
Ashley sees the Baduns traveling down a mountain road.
Ashley: Look up!
The Baduns also have plans to crash the van. Jasper is wickedly confident about this, while Horace holds onto the roof support for dear life.
Horace: Jasper!
Jasper: This won't be the same as the last time. When I get close enough, you stick out with a rocket… [cackles] and blow 'em to the dirt! Ha-ha!
Cruella then returns. As the car closes in, rage appears in Cruella's eyes, and the girls gape in horror. Cruella rams her car against the van's rear-end bumper and swerves the van in both directions to destroy it. Both cars hit a barrier, forcing Cobalt to catch Zoe, who blinks at the surrounding gorge in terror.
Cobalt: [exclaiming] Hang on, Zoe! HANG ON!
The battle continues with both drivers fighting for control over the road, until they near the junction where Horace and Jasper are preparing to make their move. With the truck close enough, Horace sticks himself out with a bazooka and he fires, but the rocket shoots backwards to the truck instead.
Horace: Wrong end!
Jasper: Horace!
Horace and Jasper's truck swerves out of control down the mountain and crashes into a boulder.
Zoe: I got this! Strawberry Bell, full power!
With her move, Zoe blasts light from her Strawberry Bell at Cruella, disorienting her, but it also blasts the van off like a rocket, until it hits a boulder. Now the van's busted, Cruella's car drives at full speed to ram them once more, but Hellboy comes in front of her.
Hellboy: Red means stop!
With one punch of his stone hand, the car is destroyed and Cruella goes flying in the air, and into a porta potty. The force of Cruella's impact pushes the porta potty down, sending her down the hill in a room full of excrement. She climbs out, covered in human feces, as Davey rushes down the hill with a hose.
Cruella: [mortified] My precious, darling fur-coat, covered in feces!
Davey: That's a good look for you. But for health reasons, I should probably spray you off.
Davey sprays Cruella with water from the hose, freezing her in ice.
Davey: Smell you later, poopsicle. [laughs]
Afterward, the MIB agents show up in the scene to arrest Cruella and her henchmen.
K: I gotta say, gentlemen. Using a candy heist as a decoy for a kidnapping? That would be the best crime you've done in sixty years.
J: And this time, you won't get a promotion for anything.
Then the agents shove them into a prison van. Cruella's head is unfrozen at the time.
Cruella: [devastated] You idiots! You, you fools! You imbeciles! [bawls]
Jasper: [calmly] Ah, shut up!
Both Horace and Jasper watch their boss go into a breakdown, as Cruella cries and the prison van drives away. When that's done, Cobalt and the others are joyful for Hellboy and Davey helping them out.
Kero: Thanks for the rescue, you guys.
Direwolf: Thank nothing of it, Kero. It's the least we can do. And Hellboy, good timing with the backup.
Hellboy: We were in the neighbourhood. To be honest, I had a feeling you guys might be having some trouble, so we asked Draco to take us here.
Direwolf: All and all, we remember the Resistance credo.
Kero: Do we always have to be careful what we wish for?
Direwolf: Not that one, the other one. Never march alone. Alone! Especially on Christmas. Come on, guys, do I have to explain everything to everyone?
Cobalt: Speaking of which, General, I think it's time to report something. Now that Canada's opened for everyone, it may be a chance to build a new Resistance Centre, here at home.
Hearing that makes Ashley puzzled and pitied at the same time.
Ashley: But Dieter, you don't have to. It's true that we're Canadians… but my mother always said to me, home is where the heart is. I may have lived here, but it doesn't matter where I choose to live. When I went to Universal, I was so happy because there were so many people to be with, and that's all I'd ever want for Christmas. To be with the people I know and look up to, just like when I was a little girl.
Cobalt is touched by Ashley's words, so he gives a warm smile to her.
Cobalt: You know… I couldn't agree more. Let's all go home and do what we always do year-round.
Back in Disneyworld, Maleficent glares at the hologram of the scene on the stone table, and she pounds on it in frustration.
Maleficent: Adaptable fools! I detest their hearty feelings!
Later on, so many people are in Ashley's apartment for a Christmas party. Once they finish the carol they sang, they raise their drinks to toast.
Everyone: Cheers!
Ashley: You guys! Seriously, this is the best Christmas I've ever had!
Direwolf: Yeah, and this is what I call a merry time of the year. Because we all get to see our favourite characters, both toon and li-ac.
Saber: Say, where's Cobalt? He's missing out.
J: Oh, I thought you've heard. Draco's having a conversation with him outside.
Cobalt is outside with Draco, where the can have a view of Universal itself.
Draco: You made the right decision, Captain. Choosing to stay here rather than in your home country.
Cobalt: I wasn't so sure if the others would agree with it anyway.
Draco: Look around you. What do you see? What do you hear?
Cobalt: Joy, for being with family, friends, and those who love each other.
Draco: Exactly. It's who we choose to be with that makes it a home. That's just one of the reasons why Christmas is important, and… equally as strong as the meaning of it.
Cobalt: But what if there comes a time when you're homesick?
Draco: That depends on how much you feel right at home. I too would want to go back to my home world, but here… I can feel right at home, where everyone I care for is protected with each other. Now you go on and have fun. Merry Christmas.
Cobalt: Thank you, Draco. And a happy new year.
Cobalt makes his way inside to go into Ashley's apartment for some time to enjoy the party. Then, Jessica is in front of him with a mistletoe over their heads, which makes them share a kiss.
The End