Tori quickly learns to ground herself using the five senses. Jade opens up about her past.

AN: Mentions of Rape. Talks of PTSD.

I looked over at Jade as she concentrated on the road, there was little to no cars out, but she was still a focussed driver.

I studied her face with each passing streetlight and headlight from another car. She didn't look tired despite the early hour of the morning.

The thing was, she still looked absolutely breathtaking without her usual dark makeup on. She had either wiped it off before she had gone out of her way to find me, or it had worn off eventually.

"How did you find me?" I asked, turning slightly in my seat to lean against the door.

"Find-a-Friend," she told me, glancing over at me before looking back at the road.

Raising an eyebrow, I kept an eye on her before looking over her body.

Sure, I'd been crushing on Jade for a while… or since we met, but I'd never do anything about it. Especially since I'm sure she's straight- and she's with Beck.

When Jade pulled her car into the driveway, I shifted in my seat as I undid my belt and pushed the door open.

"Are you sure it's okay that I'm here this late at night?"

"Yeah, mums away for the week at work, Riley's at his dads, so it'd just be me here anyway," she said, shrugging as the lock chirped when she hit the button on the key and I followed her up to the door as it opened.

"Jade, please don't tell me you woke Rose up," I huffed, looking at the helper Jade's mother hired.

"Oh, no. She didn't wake me sweetheart." Rose ushered us inside as she spoke. "I was up- I sleep in the daytime. When Jade is at school."

"The only time she can get peace, I'm sure," Jade said as she hung her keys and bag up by the front door before leading the way to the kitchen.

"How so?" I asked, staying a few steps behind.

"I sleep with music, and it's pretty loud. Mum and Riley have learnt to sleep through it."

"You can't turn it down?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I forget- by the time I pass out it's already late enough." Jade moved about the kitchen like a natural. Not just cause she lived in this house, but like she was in here all the time. She didn't bring a home-made lunch to school, so I couldn't be sure if it was because she liked cooking, or just knew where everything was.

"Thanks for getting all the ingredients together, Rose," Jade said before going about the kitchen with ease.

"What're you doing?" I asked, leaning against the counter.

"Making you that burger you wanted," she said with a look that accompanied her 'duh' tone.

"Making me one?"

"It's honestly not that hard," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Jade's a wonderful cook," Rose said, making me look over at her as I lifted myself to sit on the corner section of the counter, my legs dangling and with a dull thump, my heels tapped the cabinet doors that were beneath me.

"Jade can cook?" I asked, my eyebrows raising as I looked back towards my peer.

"Can cook better than a chef in a Ramsey restaurant," Jade said in that 'Sweet Sally Peaches' voice that she knew I hated.

Smirking, I nodded as I piped up. "Well, they can't cook anyway, so it can't be too hard to beat them."

"I meant an actual restaurant that Gordon owns, not one he goes and visits." Jade looked back to her task at hand -literally- as she used her fingers to work the spices through the mince.

"She's really good," Rose said before patting the hand on the bench. "If it's alright, I'd like to try and get some rest before I have to head out tomorrow."

After we bid Rose goodnight, Jade continued to move about the kitchen with ease- just like she did on stage.

We then sat down to eat I felt calmer, safer, knowing she wasn't about to leave my to my own devices or thoughts. She'd even somehow managed to convince my parents that I could stay at her place. Lying a little by already saying that I'd fallen asleep.

I didn't mind it though, as we curled up on each end of the couch she had in her room, watching a movie.

"I'm just going to use the bathroom real quick," Jade said as she paused the movie and made her way over to her drawers, pulling out some clothes, she threw a pair of sweatpants at me. "Change out of your jeans. They won't be comfy to sleep in."

Nodding, I couldn't find the strength to argue, waiting till her bathroom door was closed before I changed pants quickly. I pulled my bra off from beneath my shirt and folded it into my pants before sitting back in my spot, curling my feet up under myself.

"You okay?" Jade asked as she pulled the bathroom door open.

Nodding, I smiled up at her. "Yeah, I'm okay."

"I have a spare toothbrush," she said as she held up a packaged brush and I pushed myself to stand once again, making my way to the bathroom so I could do my teeth.

I'd only ever slept at Jade's once. Accidentally. I fell asleep on the couch in her bedroom while we were watching a movie.

And before that, I'd only been in her house four or five times.

But it felt good being here.

I don't know why. Maybe it was my huge crush on Jade.

"Vega?"

I blinked, looking over at her as instilled the brush in my mouth. "Hm?" I grunted a questioning ask.

"I've called you like five times. You zoned. You good?"

Nodding, I spat the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed my mouth out and the brush before making my way back to the couch.

"I'm okay," I said when she looked at me curiously.

"What were you thinking?" She asked.

"Nothing, honestly. I just spaced out."

"Will you let me know if you don't feel well or start to get flashbacks or something?"

"What?" I asked, looking at her with a frown.

"PTSD." Jade looked at me, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" I asked again.

"It's not just for people that have been to war, Tori."

"You think I'll get it?" I asked, turning to lean against the arm of the couch.

"Well, it's a possibility," she said, mirroring my position.

"I-I'll let you know," I said, biting my lip and looking down at my lap. "Thanks for the warning."

"I know what it's like, Tori."

"Sorry to sound like a broken record, but… what?" I asked.

"I…"

"Wait, only tell me if you want to and you're comfortable to," I said quickly, moving to rest a hand on her knee.

Jade nodded, putting her hand on mine.

My heart thudded as I felt a spark run up my arm at the contact, just like it always did when Jade touched me.

I hated myself for letting my stupid hormones get in the way of this important moment.

"I was raped," Jade said as she absently played with my hand.

I looked up at her, and seeing that she didn't make eye contact, I turned my hand over, gently catching her fingers and holding onto them.

"You don't have to say who… but can I ask when?"

Jade swallowed audibly, and it was like hearing a pin drop in a silent room, my heart lurching painfully with the urge to gather her in my arms and hold her tight.

"I was ten, I was out of town for the weekend visiting my father." She kept her eyes on our hands, her fingers flexing against my palm, making me open my hand so she could keep tracing invisible lines upon my skin.

"Who else knows?"

"No one outside of my mother or father- minus a few cops and doctors," she whispered and I scooted closer, our knees touching as I warily brought my other hand up, resting it against her ankle, trying to not scare her off from being open or vulnerable. "I-I don't want anyone to know, please, Tori." Her voice cracked, and she finally looked up at me, tears in her eyes.

"I won't tell, I promise." I opened my arms, expecting to be rejected, but she nodded and leaned in, her arms slipping around my waist as mine curled around her shoulders.

"I won't tell unless you say it's okay," she said, her voice so soft against my ear.

My stomach flipped and I wanted to hold her tighter, but I felt her starting to pull back, so I released her, not wanting to push it.

"We should get some sleep," Jade said wiping at her eyes with the hem of her sleep shirt before standing up.

I almost drooled at the sight of her stomach that was briefly shown.

"Yeah… sleep." I shifted on the couch, moving to lay down but she stopped me.

"Come on, come sleep in my bed. I don't have a spare blanket."

Shaking my head, I continued to lay on the couch. "It's okay, I'm pretty warm right now. These sweatpants are like a sauna."

"Well, fine… but if you get cold, come get in the bed. I have an electric blanket. You can keep watching TV if you want to stay up longer."

I curled on my side, looking up at her before nodding my thanks and turning my attention to the tv, reaching for the remote that was on the floor by me.

Jade kicked the controller closer and I smiled softly up at her before turning the tv way down and flicking through the channels to find something to watch.

I woke sometime the next day, I knew it was daytime cause there was a steam of sunshine hitting my eyes from the bathroom window- meaning Jade probably wasn't awake yet otherwise the door would most likely be shut.

I rolled slightly and felt my back and neck pop in relief at being moved from their crooked position and lifted my head, looking towards the bed.

She was awake. Sitting up in bed with her laptop on her thighs, her headphones in, mumbling the words to a song I could probably hear if I was closer to her - but it was a faint hum from the other side of the room.

She must have noticed me, or felt someone watching her, cause she looked over and gave a half smile, pulling out her left earbud.

"So you do know how to sleep in," she said softly.

"Sleep in? What time is it?"

"A little after one, I messaged your father to let him know you didn't sleep till early morning and he said to just let you sleep."

Nodding, I dropped my head back onto the couch, bringing a hand up to try and ignore that one streaming blast of sunlight that hit my eyes exactly.

"Are you hungry?" She asked, gaining my attention. "You didn't eat that much despite saying how hungry you were last night."

Usually the mention of food would make my stomach start singing whale songs and calling out to the food gods, but, like the rest of my body, it didn't want anything. It didn't want to do anything. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to sleep last night, I'm assuming one blink lasted too long and I crashed out hard.

"Nah, I'm okay," I said, pushing myself to stand up. "I-I'd kind of like to go home if that's okay?"

"You're not a captive, Vega. You can go home."

I swallowed the dryness I felt take over my mouth and throat and picked my jeans up, changing into them quicker than I changed out of them last night.

I felt dirty. No amount of scrubbing I did in the hospital showers after they tested me made me feel clean.

When my father had brought me in the clean clothes, I was thankfully covered by a towel so he wouldn't see the redness of my skin, from how hot the water burned, to how hard I scrubbed and clawed at myself… trying to wash away all traces of them.

A scream left my lips before I could stop it, feeling like their hand were on my again, holding my arms, I closed my eyes tight and turned my head away, trying to stop the threatening smell of their alcohol from invading my senses when I realised it wasn't that smell at all.

It wasn't the harsh cologne, it wasn't the smell of bourbon and cheap tequila mixed with cigarettes and weed.

It was a steadying scent. A soft hand on my wrists. A grounding voice, calling me back like the waves slowly lapping at the sand on a beach.

"Tori, that's it, come back to me. Slow your breathing. It's okay, no one can hurt you here."

"Jade," I whispered, half thinking I said nothing at all as I parted my lips, and half thinking I only thought her name.

"It's okay, nice deep breaths, Vega. I'm here."

I swallowed and forced my eyes to open, the darkness of her room shocked me.

The sunlight is gone. Did I dream everything?

"I closed the door so it was dark, do you want it open again?"

Shaking my head, I sniffled and dropped against her, hiding my face against her neck as I desperately tried to ground myself.

Using her scent, the sound of her breathing, the touch of her arms curling around my waist, the sight of her veins as they bubbled and rippled against her throat, the taste of the air around us that was purely made from Jade herself.

I could almost taste the way she smelled. Like Christmas. Peppermint.

I parted my lips enough to let my tongue dart out and lick them before I steadied myself and pulled away from her, clearing my throat.

"I-I need to get home."

"Tori, let me give you a lift."

"No, I'll call my dad. I'm sure despite being okay with me staying here, he's probably got a Patrol car- or seven parked in various places around the block."

"I know, and it's only one. I took coffee out earlier."

"I'll be fine, Jade." I double checked the pocket of my jeans for my phone and pulled it out, looking at it to check it's battery. "I need to get home, and shower, and study for a test I have on Monday. I've already wasted enough time sleeping and not studying."

"I'm sure Lane can give you a pass on any and all tests for a while, Tori."

"No, cause that would mean he would know, which means that teachers would find out… what part of no one knowing don't you get?" I asked, my voice raising slightly as I threw my hair up into a messy bun and huffed.

Jade looked mildly impressed that I got louder, her studded eyebrow quirking up as she folded her arms.

I just was to kiss that stupid smirk off her face.

Maybe that will stop her from talking to me.

Dropping my hands by my side, I growled, more frustrated at my hormones than anything else right now.

"Tori, just let me drive you, okay?"

"No," I said, standing my ground, stomping a foot to prove a point - which I'm sure made me look and sound like a spoiled five year old, but I didn't care.

I put my phone in my pocket and looked at her - waiting to see just what she'd do.

"I'll talk to you at school on Monday," I said, turning for the door and taking a breath of air as I got up to the main floor of the house without hearing her behind me.

I pulled my shoes on that were, thankfully, still by the front door and hadn't been moved before pulling the front door open.

The sun momentarily blinded me, and I waited, for this all to be a dream, so I'd wake in my own bed before any of this happened- maybe even before I got accepted to Hollywood Arts.

A hand on my own made me spin quickly and raise a hand, ready to defend myself, but my fist was quickly caught.

"Relax, Vega… I was just coming to lock up, I thought you'd be halfway out the gate by now."

"Me too," I whispered, looking at her hand still clutching my fist loosely.

"Why aren't you?"

"I…"

"Can't do it?" Jade offered.

"I'm fine, Jade. I was just enjoying the feel of the sunshine," I lied, terribly, as per usual.

But that only made Jade smirk all over again.

Fucking hell I want to kiss that smirk right off her face. Or slap it. Whatever happens first.

I'm sure she'd like the slap- she did mention a good kind of pain one time… when we were trying to win the private Kesha concert.

"Are you going or staying?" Jade asked, crossing her arms once more.

"Going," I said, nodding as if it were helping me move out the door.

"Well, if you're so desperate to leave…" she pushed the door open wider, a slight breeze pushing around me- us -making my throat tighten and my body feel like air was being pulled from within.

"Shit, Tori," Jade dropped to her knees in front of me, and I didn't even realise I was on the ground till that moment, her hand under my head to stop it from bouncing off the tile. "Please don't say you suddenly have a fear of going outside now? Whose life am I supposed to make hell at school?"

"Sinjin's," I offered with a weak laugh. My hands clawing at her forearms as I tried to ground myself once again.

Tasting the air and the way it smelled faintly like potatoes, the sound of the coffee machine bubbling. The feel of her skin beneath my hands, and how I'm sure she's urging a biting remark against my nails as I declaw myself from her. The sight of her eyes glistening in the outside sun that was bouncing off the tiles through the open doorway.

"Not Robbie?" She offered, seeming to have noticed how quick I'd brought my five senses into overdrive and grounding myself.

"Nah, he's not all bad," I said softly as I shifted to move closer to her.

"You don't have to go home, Tori."

"I need to, I need to sh-"

"Shower, study, yada yada yada," she murmured. "You said that before, but you also need to not lose yourself. I'm here to help you, but I know what it's like to have no one."

"I'll be okay," I told her, pushing myself to stand, looking at her arms where I'd gripped her so tightly.

"Okay, just… call if you need anything, okay? Day, night, I don't care the time."

Nodding, I watched as she brushed away dust from her legs and butt and stood by the door.

"Let me know when you get home, also."

"You sound like an old grandmother."

"Shut up, Vega." She pushed me gently, making me smile.

"Yes, Grandma," I smirked, stepping away from the hand that I was sure would deliver a sharp slap.

"Get outta here, before I make you do all my homework."

I got a few steps away from the front door before I turned and looked at her. "Jade?"

"Yeah Vega?"

"Thank you."