When Krysia and Merlin exited their chambers to get ready for the day, Gaius called them over. He was considering a book, as he often was, but Krysia knew this would be related to the matter of Tauren.

"I've been doing some research and found this," Gaius said.

"The Mage Stone?" Merlin said, reading the title.

Krysia bent over the book to see the diagram and description of the stone, which was said to resemble a polished sandstone or a cracked amber.

"Wonder of the ancients," Gaius said. "Lost for a thousand years or more."

"What does it do?" Merlin said.

"Theoretically, it could give the bearer the power of transformation."

Krysia stood straight again.

"Like lead to gold," Krysia said. "Alchemical transformations."

Gaius nodded and tapped his finger on the diagram.

"Exactly," he said. "I believe it was the Mage Stone you sensed on the night of Tom's arrest."

"Of course!" Merlin said, excited. "Gwen said that Tauren had some kind of stone."

The question was more where was the stone, and what did Tauren intend to do with it?

/-/

That night, when it was nearly morning, Merlin shook Krysia awake again. She sat up with a start, and found Merlin leaning over her, and he looked shaken.

"What is it?" she groaned.

"I felt the stone again."

Krysia sat still and waited to see if she felt it too, but Merlin shook his head.

"No, earlier," he said. "I followed it. Somehow, Morgana had it. I followed her into the forest. She met with Tauren, and they hatched a plan to kill Uther."

Fully awake now, Krysia jumped to her feet, pacing. Merlin told her what they said as exactly as he could remember, and she lingered by their small window, frowning.

Morgana had always struggled with Uther, true. And Uther was not always the easiest man to live with, especially when one didn't agree with him. If Krysia could kill him, she wasn't sure what she'd do. But Krysia had a feeling this wasn't about Tom's execution at all, that this was simply the catalyst for a long-brewing pain.

"What do we do?" Merlin said.

Krysia froze. If Tauren murdered Uther, Arthur would never forgive magic for the loss of his father. If Morgana facilitated it, what would such a choice do to her? And could Krysia stand by and let murder happen when she knew it was planned?

She didn't believe she could, but perhaps she was wrong. Part of her did feel it would be the just thing, an atonement for all the evil he had done, all the people he had murdered.

"I don't know," she whispered.

/-/

That night, the king dined alone, and Krysia was there to serve him. She knew Merlin struggled with the consideration of what to do all day, as did she, and she hoped he felt closer to answers than she. It seemed to her that the day had gone and still she had no idea what to do.

The door of the chamber opened and Krysia was only mildly surprised to see Morgana enter. She waited, ostensibly for Uther to potentially give an order for a place setting to be brought for Morgana. In reality, Krysia waited to see what web her old friend would weave.

"I didn't expect to see you," Uther said. "You wish to say something?"

"I came to apologize, my lord."

"Good," Uther said.

Krysia might have choked in surprise, but she caught herself in time. Morgana stiffened at his lack of remorse. Krysia wasn't pleased, either, but she hadn't expected more from him.

"I didn't mean to rile you," Morgana said. "I thought only of Gwen. The poor girl is all alone in the world."

This wasn't precisely true, for if Krysia's memory served, Gwen did have a brother somewhere. She wasn't sure what became of him, but he'd left when he reached majority to find work. Yes, she was alone in Camelot, but she wasn't truly alone. Not like Krysia.

"It was not my intention to hurt your maid," Uther said.

"I know," Morgana said. "But now she suffers, and I know how she must suffer."

"Morgana…"

"I only meant, I know what it's like to lose a father."

Krysia blinked and looked at the floor, not daring to draw any attention to herself. She'd barely known Gorlois as a child, but she did know how much it affected both Morgana and Uther, his loss. A good lie was always buried in undeniable truths, painful ones if you could swing it, because people hated confronting painful truths. Morgana had taught Krysia that, when they were children. Morgana had always been so much better at lying than anyone else Krysia knew.

She tried to focus on that, to not think of her own father carrying her deep into the forest and begging her to remember what she was supposed to know, and never to say more. She'd never seen her father afraid before that day, and the memory was burned to her every thought of him, as if she'd always seen him this way.

She blinked a bit faster.

"That was a terrible day," Uther said. "Your father was a great friend. I had no part in his death."

Krysia couldn't breathe. She felt like she was in the forest again, the moist soil filling her hands, crying, hoping someone would come back for her, that her father would change his mind and make another plan.

"You sent him into battle. You promised him reinforcements and then gave him none. You sent him to his death."

"That is not true. It was never my intention."

"But it happened! And it keeps on happening."

"Morgana!"

The genuine shock in Uther's voice sounded as if it was happening very far away. The room seemed to spin.

"I'm sorry, my lord," Morgana said. The door closed again, or she thought it did.

Someone said her name, and she wasn't aware she was falling until she felt Uther's hands grasp her arms and help her onto a bench. He pressed his goblet into her hand and called for a guard.

Krysia took a sip of the wine, as Uther ordered, and she saw Leon enter a moment later, concerned.

"Take her to Gaius," Uther said. "Carefully, she's faint."

"Yes, sire," Leon said.

Krysia started to protest that she wasn't done with work for the day, but Uther cut her off.

"You have had a trying few days," he said. "Rest. Get treatment. Other servants will manage for the night, and you'll return in the morning."

Krysia hesitated, but she agreed.

Leon said nothing to her about the incident all the way to Gaius's chambers, merely walked in step with her. She couldn't have wished for more from him, and she was grateful when he left her with Gaius without a word or a second glance in judgement.

/-/

Once Krysia had rested and the three of them were settling in for the evening, doing evening chores, Merlin suddenly asked Gaius, "Do you think Uther's a good king?"

"Sorry?" Gaius said.

Krysia sat at the bench, sure she'd come up with another dizzy spell if she didn't prepare for one.

"Erm…Uther," Merlin said. "Do you think he's good for the kingdom?"

Gaius glanced at Krysia and said firmly, "Yes. Yes, I do. In the light of recent events, you may find that hard to believe."

"Hard?" Merlin said with a small laugh "No. Impossible? Definitely."

"Nothing's impossible," Krysia whispered.

"Everyone hates him," Merlin said.

Gaius said, "It's not Uther's job to be liked. It is Uther's job to protect the kingdom. Most of his methods are right. Sometimes he may go too far."

"Really?" Merlin snapped. "You mean like executing anyone who even passes a sorcerer on the street? Murdering Krysia's whole family?"

"Yes," Gaius said, and Krysia cleared her throat and began blinking again. "But despite Uther's failings, he has brought peace and prosperity to this kingdom."

"But at what cost?" Merlin said. He was growing frustrated, and Krysia felt hot all over. "At the cost of women and children, fathers and sons! When will it end?"

"When he dies," Krysia said. "When he's gone, and Arthur is king."

"Then why not let that time be now?" Merlin insisted. "Why not let Arthur be king?"

Gaius was increasingly concerned and beseeching, although Krysia admired his patience. She had asked things like this as a child when she was in the most pain. She hadn't felt this much pain since she was a child.

"Arthur's not ready," Gaius said. "The responsibility would be too great. Brave though he may be, he lacks experience, he lacks judgment. Is there anything you want to tell me? Either of you?"

Krysia looked up at Merlin, who seemed to be battling whether they should say or not. Part of her wanted to, to take the burden off their shoulders, but she wasn't convinced it was the right thing.

"I can't," Merlin said. "I—I just… No, I can't. You've got to trust us." Gaius raised his eyebrows. "Gaius, it's something I've got to work out for myself."

"I do trust you, Merlin. I trust both of you. Whatever it is, I know you'll make the right decision."

Krysia wasn't so sure, but she liked to believe he was right.

/-/

Krysia oversaw the preparation of the horses the following morning with trepidation. She knew what they were riding out to, what Morgana was about to facilitate. The guards riding with them would likely die, and she wondered whether Morgana would regret their deaths. Would Tauren be content with the death of the father? Would he come after the son? Would the cycle of revenge ever end?

"All ready, sire," she said, backing away from her check of Morgana's saddle. "Will you be gone long?"

"We will be back for lunch," Uther said. "How are you feeling today, Krysia?"

"Much better, sire," Krysia said with a smile. "Gaius suspects I forgot to eat."

"That is unlike you," Uther said. "Take care to eat today. Morgana, your horse."

Krysia considered herself dismissed and returned to the castle, to her responsibilities, and tried not to think of the death that was sure to happen if neither she nor Merlin acted to stop it.

Leon surprised her in the corridor, and he walked with her to the kitchens.

"You seem tired," he said. "Are you still feeling unwell?"

"Sorry, no," she said. "I suppose everything's…hitting me very personally at present. Tom was a good man. And to see her lose her father, to see Morgana at Uther's throat again, I…" She inhaled deeply. "I don't even know if my parents have graves," she whispered.

Leon stopped, and she stopped with him. His face was the picture of concern.

"There are many who don't have graves," he said. "They live on in memory."

The way he

The way he startled at the sound of the last word out of his own mouth was clear: in theory, she had no memory of her parents to this day.

"There is nothing?" he whispered. "Not even dreams that might be memories?"

"No," Krysia said. "Nothing. If I ever had such dreams, they were gone by morning."

He hummed. They began to walk again.

"I wish I had better comfort to offer," he said. Krysia murmured that it was fine, although neither of them believed it.

Leon paused outside the kitchens just as she was about to enter. He seemed to want to say something else, but after several long moments, he shook his head and said, "If you require anything while the king is gone, send word to me."

She assured him she would, and then she entered the kitchen and counted the minutes to what seemed the inevitable.

/-/

Krysia had lunch ready, not sure if she should truly expect anyone to return. She was just considering how long to wait before sending a serving girl to inquire after the king's progress when the door to the chamber burst open, with Uther laughing and Morgana walking with him, quiet.

"Did you have a good ride, sire?" Krysia said, nodding to a serving girl to bring the food.

"It was eventful," Uther said. "Morgana saved my life."

"How brave, my lady," Krysia said, watching a servant pull out a chair for Morgana. "I'm sure you'll have great appetite. Should I send for extra bread?"

"Yes, of course, and a good, strong wine to celebrate," Uther said.

Morgana nodded when Krysia looked to her, although the girl didn't appear to be in a celebratory mood. Had she done it on accident, or was it on the spur of the moment?

Krysia listened carefully to the telling when Arthur joined them. They were grieving together at the grave, it seemed, and Tauren snuck up on them. He was ready to kill Uther, but Morgana alerted Uther just in time. They struggled, and just when it seemed that Tauren had the upper hand, Morgana ran Tauren through with her dagger.

Eventful, indeed.

The mood was significantly lighter than it had been for days, but Krysia could tell that Morgana was still feeling conflicted. Krysia didn't blame her: she felt conflicted, too.

/-/

After a long day, and quite a raucous dinner, Krysia returned to her chamber, where Merlin was already curled up in bed. He turned when she changed, and when she climbed into her bed, he rolled over onto his back again.

"You went," she said.

"You didn't," he whispered.

"I still don't know how I feel," she admitted. "You weren't wrong that maybe it would be better if Arthur's time came now. On the other hand, the more I weigh the difference between justice and revenge, and I don't know that I have the wisdom to make that choice. I don't know if anyone does, but I certainly don't want that weight."

Merlin hummed.

"Gwen said she wouldn't have killed him if she had the chance," Merlin said. "She's better than both of us, it seems."

Krysia closed her eyes and said, "We already knew that."

Merlin said, "You didn't take your potion."

"Hmm?"

"The potion Gaius has been making for you. You haven't taken it yet, have you?"

Krysia clicked her tongue against her teeth. He was right, she hadn't taken it yet. It was an honest forgetfulness, but for one night she might have had the dreams back, with the man she didn't have a name for and the sweetness that brought. One night surely wouldn't have hurt anyone…

She thanked Merlin and sat up to grab one of the vials from the drawer. She took a measured sip, thanked the gods that it was not unpleasant to taste, and corked the remainder of the bottle. Merlin rolled over to look at her in the moonlight.

"Is it alright if I ask what it's for?"

She rolled her eyes and lay back on her pillow.

"It's sort of like what Morgana takes," she said. "When I had vivid dreams, nightmares mostly, as a child, I would use magic in my sleep. I hadn't had to take it in years, but recently I've been having vivid dreams again, and Gaius is worried that I'll be discovered if I don't take it again. Perhaps forever."

"How long have you been having the dreams?"

She hummed, thinking back.

"I suppose they started not too long after you came."

There was silence in the room between them. She heard him shift on his bed.

"Is it my fault?"

"Is what your fault, Merlin?"

"The dreams. If they started after I came, do you think it's something to do with me?"

She wanted to say it was ridiculous, that magic didn't do such things, but magic wasn't supposed to work the way Merlin naturally used it, either. The strength of his powers seemed to make all manner of things possible.

"Maybe," she said.

Again, there was a long silence, then Merlin whispered, "If it is my fault, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. They weren't bad dreams."

She missed them. She would never dare admit it out loud, but she missed the dreams more than almost anything she'd ever lost.

/-/

Leon was putting away a few pieces of armor after a late patrol and he paused when he heard voices, ready to strike if there was an intruder. When he recognized the voices, though, he relaxed. The King and the Prince, it seemed, were out on a late-night stroll.

"—would have been proud of her, Arthur. Morgana rose to the occasion."

"She has a way of doing that."

Leon considered announcing his presence, so they didn't have an embarrassing encounter in the armory, but then Uther started to talk about Krysia. Leon held his breath. He couldn't have explained why to himself, but he slipped around a post and listened.

"—still looking a bit unwell. She's usually of very good health."

"Illness strikes everyone, father. Krysia is allowed her turn. I know her replacements aren't as thorough."

"No, it's not only that." The king seemed to hesitate. "Sometimes she reminds me of someone I knew a very long time ago. Someone I was very fond of. To see her have a turn like that was disconcerting."

"A former servant?" Arthur said.

"No, no. A young woman of noble birth, actually. She married one of my best knights. They had a large family."

"Do I know any of them?"

"No, there was…there was a fire. Never mind. The visit to Gorlois's grave has me thinking about the past. You should get some rest. There's a busy day tomorrow."

Leon couldn't shake the feeling, even after he was alone in the armory, that there was something important in what he just overheard. He wondered what it could be, and he quickly dismissed the thought as wishful thinking. Krysia was a servant, he was a knight. Nothing would change the impossibility of being with her, especially now that the dreams were gone.