Chapter 04: Monster

It took the better part of an hour, but I finally managed to work up the courage to walk over and stand in front of Kate's door. And there I stood, just staring at the door like the total dork I was. The only thing that gave me the courage to knock was the fact that people were starting to stare at me, and if I didn't do something, I'd look like even more of an awkward nobody. What did Chloe or Victoria ever even see in me?

The door creaked open, and when Kate saw me, her eyes went wide. "M-Maxine Caulfield!"

"Max, never Maxine," I said, a response that was at this point nearly Pavlovian.

"Right," Kate replied, her gaze falling away, "sorry."

A painful silence grew between us. As the stares from down the hallway started to feel like they were burning me to ash, I finally spoke, "So… can I come in?"

Kate's lips flapped uselessly a few moments before she managed to choke out, "Of course," I stepped inside, and she closed the door behind me. "Um… Just, have a seat anywhere."

As much as I wanted to cuddle Alice, it would be rude to not sit at this point. So I sat on the futon as I tried to tease out just how close… or how far apart Kate and I were in this reality. She wasn't in my phone. She called me Maxine. And given that look of surprise on her face, I would say it was safe to say we were practically strangers. I didn't even know what to say to her.

Kate didn't sit. She stood in the middle of the room, fidgeting a bit as she cast glances at me. "Um, can I… get you something?"

My head turned to the side, where I knew she kept her electric kettle. "How about tea?"

"You like tea?" Kate asked.

"Very much so," I replied, giving a genuine smile for what had to be the first time all day.

Kate moved to set up the kettle and started setting out the supplies. Instead of her usual, tranquil routine, her hands shook and she stumbled about, rearranging things over and over. "Is it okay if I ask why you're here?" she asked, not looking up at me.

Because I want to be your friend again.

"I…" Try as I might, I just couldn't find an excuse to actually be in what was essentially a stranger's room. I leaned in, helping Kate arrange everything as I tried to just speak my feelings. "I think I made some mistakes in my life. I don't want… not getting the chance to be your friend to be one of them." Once everything was in place, I looked up to see Kate staring back at me. No, I think she was glaring at me. "Kate?"

"S-so what is this, then?" she asked, her voice strained. "Another mean prank?"

For a reason I couldn't really place, I found myself petrified. It took every bit of willpower I had to give my head a tiny shake. "I just wanted to have tea with you."

Kate clenched her hands into tight fists as she lowered her gaze, her eyes fixating on the table with everything perfectly laid out. Only then did it strike me where I fucked up. I did that. I shouldn't know how to arrange everything. Kate and I didn't have weekly tea sessions in this timeline.

I couldn't take it back. Rewinding would've put all of Arcadia Bay at risk, throwing away this terrible, perfect world. "Kate, I…" My words died in my throat as my thoughts refused to let themselves be heard. The horrible, unbelievable truth that was me. "I'll go if you want me to," I finally said, my voice little more than a whisper.

"What does it even matter? You're just going to humiliate me again, right?" Kate bit back as tears broke free, streaming down her face.

Humiliate her? What?

My stomach heaved, threatening to send bile up my throat. In this reality, I really was a Vortex Club cunt. Would I really have hurt Kate like that? On purpose? Could five years have made me such a fundamentally different person?

I hugged myself tightly, feeling my own throat constrict as my eyes burned. "I-I-I'm sorry, Kate. If I hurt you, I'm sorry. Please believe me."

"Just… just go! Go and do whatever terrible thing it is that you're going to do," Kate said to me, each word burning with hurt and fear.

I stood, heading for the door. "Kate I… I'll earn your forgiveness, no matter what. I promise you that."

Alone in the hall, I felt cold and empty. I treated Warren like a slave. I hurt Kate so deeply that she distrusted me.

How can I fix this?

There was only one person who I knew who I could open up to, given that I still lacked the courage to call Chloe and let her know that her Max was gone. A few hurried steps and I stopped in front of Victoria's door. Unlike with Kate's, I didn't hesitate. I rapped on the door, urgently wanting to be inside. The moment it opened, I rushed inside, not even waiting for Victoria to invite me in.

"Max? What's wrong?" Victoria asked, following after me.

I stopped in the middle of the room, still hugging myself. "What… what did we—did I—do to Kate?"

Victoria walked by me to her laptop, leaning over her desk and closing out a few things. After she pulled her social media page up, she pulled out the chair, holding out a hand to offer me the seat. "M'lady," she cooed, her voice mellifluous.

It stirred something in me, just the way she said it. I felt light and just a little dizzy. The next thing I knew, I was seated in the comfy chair, as if I'd been in a trance and drawn into it. Then, Victoria leaned over me to her computer again, scrolling through her posts.

We were so close, her chest was literally on my shoulder and I could smell her perfume. It was an eerily familiar scent that filled me with calm and a strange sort of deja vu. This definitely wasn't the perfume the Victoria from the original timeline used. Was it mere chance, or the wonderful, intoxicating feeling it gave me that made her wear it?

"Aha! Here we go."

Breaking out of my thoughts, I looked away from Victoria to find a picture on the screen. What little comfort I had found left me. It was a picture of me and Kate. My mouth fell open as I saw it. We were kissing—making out, really. It made me feel sick, seeing myself doing something I don't remember and that I just couldn't imagine myself doing. This was just a small taste of the hell Kate went through in the original timeline.

"I-I don't understand, I thought we were dating?" I asked, unable to pull my eyes away. At least until I felt a buzzing in my head and the faint, distant sounds of making out echoed in my ears. My hands slapped the table as I stood and turned my back.

I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. "Max? Are you okay?" Victoria asked.

"I… I almost fell into the past. I didn't even know that worked with digital photos," I said.

"Fell into the past?" Victoria parroted my words.

I shrugged her hand off before turning around to face her. For the first time since I came in, I actually saw Victoria's face. It looked… so different. Rarely had I caught a glimpse of this Victoria, devoid of her makeup. Her lips were paler than I remembered and her skin far from smooth and flawless. It was… refreshing, seeing her untouched face all bunched up as her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I told you before," I said, my voice softer than I intended. "If I focus on a photo with me in it, I'll revisit that point in time for a few minutes. It almost happened just now."

A single brow rose. "You're serious?"

How could she still not believe me about all this shit? "Fucking, yes, Victoria! I could almost feel her lips on mine," I bit back.

Victoria held up her hands. "Hey, no need to bite my head off. Even you have to admit that this whole mess is fucked up."

Sighing, I grabbed my arm. "That's putting it mildly. My eyes trailed back over to the glow of the monitor. "So… Kate. What happened?"

Victoria's smile returned, but this one wasn't warm. It made me feel a little uneasy. "It was a brilliant prank," she said. "Rachel sussed out that our little church mouse was a closet gay. Then all it took was a little flirting from you, and we outed that little holier than thou bitch."

My stomach turned as I raced back over the screen. That photo… it was shared with everyone. Kate's family. Her church. We didn't just embarrass and humiliate her. We outed her to the whole world. The bile rose again, and I couldn't hold it. I pulled my hair back as I leaned to the side and purged into the waste bin.

"Jesus! Max, what the hell?" Victoria shouted as she rushed over to help me keep my hair away from my mouth.

I purged a second time before my body stopped retching. "S-sorry," I muttered, spitting out the remnants of the bile in my mouth.

"Come on," Victoria said, gently pulling me away from the bin. "Let's get you to the bathroom. Okay?"

After rinsing out my mouth and brushing my teeth, Victoria helped me back to her room. There, I curled up into a ball on her bed. Victoria sat next to me. Leaning over, she rubbed my back as I tried to calm down. But I just couldn't. I didn't want to hear the answer, but I just had to know. "Who… whose idea was it to do something so horrible?"

"Ours, Maxi," Victoria said. "Bitch deserved it. All her abstinence bullshit and how she always chastised us and everyone else about our personal lives. Now she knows how it feels to have someone judge your personal life."

"Kate wouldn't do that," I muttered. My eyes squeezed shut, sending tears down my cheeks. "She wouldn't."

"Like hell, she wouldn't. We were making out in the hall and she butts in, saying we'll get in trouble if someone sees us. So we went to my room, and not ten fucking minutes later security is knocking on the door," Victoria said, huffing. "That little bitch ratted us out and we nearly got caught. So we called Rachel and got to brainstorming to get her back. We did. Moral of the story? Do not fuck with us."

Kate would never do that. It was a coincidence, or someone trying to frame her. But I knew Kate. It wasn't her, and we did something so awful to her. I did that. For nothing.

I covered my head with my hands as I curled tighter into myself, wishing I could just collapse into nothing and stop existing. Even Victoria's ministrations and soft words did little to ease the pain in my heart. I wasn't just some snobby teen douching it up with the Vortex Club.

I was a monster.