Chapter Six: Loose Lipped

Sirius trailed behind listening to James and Lily bickering not even having the energy to be amused or annoyed. He had been sleeping so poorly lately kept up by his worry that he'd take one look at Remus and just see a monster. That he'd see a dementor in place of his friend again and that he'd never be able to be ok around Remus again because of what Walburga Black had put her son through.

His mum was the real monster!

Sirius bit his lip until it bled to keep from crying since Peter kept looking back at him and he had already cried in front of his friends too much the past few days.

He loved his friends dearly.

They had both been so nice to him which he knew he didn't deserve. It almost would have been better if they had just left him to his wallowing but not only did they check on him but they dragged his sorry ass out of bed every day. Sirius supposed that he would have done the same for his friends if they needed him to. But Sirius wasn't the friend that should be getting consoled. He fearfully and eagerly counted down the days until things would go back to normal…..or he would find out they never could. It didn't help that Sirius had been having what had become a repetitive nightmare about all of his friends turning their backs on him as thousands of dementors swarmed over him and Remus turning around as he was being swarmed, looking straight at him with an expressionless uncaring face and impassive yet somehow still chilling glowing golden eyes.

"Oi Sirius, you alright?" Peter asked, still sniffling from the pain of his bad nose bleed, pinching his nose with his robe, and looking quite disheveled. Sirius blinked a few times and shrugged.

"I will be when things go back to normal…."

Peter nodded and grinned.

"They will Sirius, don't worry."

Sirius gave him a weak smile appreciating Peter's confidence but finding it silly since Peter had no idea what had transpired.

"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING POTTER?" Lily suddenly shrieked and Sirius picked up his pace since James had been there for him when he knew he only deserved all his friend's anger, so he'd be damned if he was about to let James face Lily's wrath alone.

"Come on Peter let's go rescue him," Sirius called passing Peter and glancing back at the boy who was still trailing behind now looking sheepish.

"Oh….well….I think…..I'm getting dizzy…..all the blood loss you know….better go slow…."

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes but he didn't have time to fight with Peter over his cowardice.

"Whoa Lily calm down I just said you have really pretty eyes it's a bloody compliment you don't have to be so bloody sensitive all the time."

"SENSITIVE? How would you like it if some annoying girl randomly blurted out some stupid compliment while you were trying to have a serious conversation with her."

Even with walking as fast as he could he barely made it in time, Lily's wand pointing at James with a dangerous gleam in her eyes, which of course James' was doing nothing to help himself get out of. Sirius tried to catch James' eyes but a truly dopey smile had exploded across his face.

"Well, that depends on if the girl is you or not Evans."

"UGH, YOU ARE INFURIATING!"

"That he is Lily but hexing him will slow us down." Sirius pointed out wisely, quickly stepping in front of James who seemed lost in some daydream that probably had something to do with Lily complimenting him. What a dolt.

"Oh don't you dare Black, you don't even appear to be sorry about Remus anymore. I don't know how you can even stand yourself after how terribly you treated him." Lily snapped and Sirius recoiled not having expected her to be quite that angry with him still.

"Hey Lily that's not fair he's been beating himself up for days and he's talked to Professor Corbyn to try to change so butt out." James retorted coming to Sirius' defense and snapping out of whatever fantasy he had previously been in.

That seemed to take Lily by suprise.

"Really?"

"Sirius, why does talking to Corbyn have anything to do with anything?" Peter asked, confused having finally caught up to them.

"Shut up Peter," Sirius grumbled more because he was irritated at James for letting that slip than for Peter overhearing it.

"Don't tell him to shut up. Poor little Peter. You are both such bullies. I'm sorry though Peter it is best if you forget that bit," Lily explained her tone, a bit impressively, going from sharp as a dagger to gentle with "poor little Peter."

"Oh…ok?"

Sirius glanced at James who shrugged and whose eyes seemed to say, "it's fine he didn't figure anything out." Sirius was still worried Remus was already going to be awkward around them if not outright avoid them altogether and that was without Peter accidentally finding out. Only wouldn't it be better if James and Sirius could prep Peter? That way when Remus told him he'd respond better than Sirius had….

Only Sirius didn't think anyone could respond to the truth as badly as he had. Most likely Peter would get over the shock and be a good mate about it like James had because those two didn't have the darkness in them that Sirius kept feeling like he permanently had lodged in him.

And make no mistake there was certainly a good measure of darkness. After all, he physically wanted to hurt people sometimes...to just lash out.

Luckily James and he had the Slytherins to torment when Sirius felt like that. Except for this time he had lashed out at Remus and he wasn't sure he would ever completely forgive himself for that.

"Well...let's just go check the hospital wing." James sighed sounding upset and down to earth again.

"And have Madam Pomfrey look at my nose," Peter piped up, seemingly having already forgotten about Sirius having talked to Professor Corbyn again.

"Yeah and that…" James grumbled taking off ahead of them. Peter seemed surprised then took off quickly after him, suddenly not at all dizzy anymore. Lily glanced at Sirius, her eyes daggers once more.

"Even if Remus forgives you I won't Black I hope you know that."

Sirius thought about telling her how little her forgiving him mattered to him but there was something about someone being appropriately angry at him that kept him from getting defensive.

"Good," he replied solemnly, catching her off guard again. He took off quickly because he didn't want Lily to start talking to him.

"Sirius, wait. You aren't…." Lily glanced around uncomfortably and lowered her voice, "you aren't going to stop being his friend because of this are you?"

Sirius thought about answering honestly, answering how he had answered Professor Corbyn who had been helping him work on his prejudice without pressuring him about dementors. He thought about saying the truth. About saying that he would be Remus' friend forever or if the two of them ever died because Sirius was pretty sure the Marauders would all be running amuck even as old men together. But then some of the anger in LIly's eyes would leave and for some reason he didn't want that, he really wanted someone to be as mad at him as he was. So instead he shrugged, feigning indifference.

"Guess we'll find out when he gets back." Sirius had almost said if, but Remus had to come back he just had to. Dumbledore had assured Sirius that Remus would be welcomed back as long as more students didn't find out and have their parents complain. Sirius knew Dumbledore had been making it very clear what kind of consequences Sirius telling anyone would have and was glad that even when he had still been afraid of Remus he had found enough sense to say honestly he wouldn't tell anyone.

"You are despicable Black, you don't deserve him you don't deserve any of them," Lily hissed angrily brushing past him roughly but apparently deeming him not even worth it to hex.

"Believe me I know…" he whispered to himself wondering why Lily's scathing tone hadn't made him feel satisfied like he had hoped. Instead, her words just left him feeling like utter rubbish.

…

"James, what had you meant by telling Lily that Sirius had talked to Professor Corbyn again?" Peter asked for the fifth time and James stifled a groan. He had taken off walking so fast so that Peter wouldn't hound him about his slip-up and so he could mentally kick himself in private. But instead, Peter had caught up and now Sirius was alone with Lily which could not be going well for either of them.

"Peter I told you to forget it…"

"But…..but Professor Coryn is the defense against the dark arts professor…" Peter puzzled out slowly.

"I know that Peter," James snapped but for once Peter didn't seem to pay his anger any mind.

"And…..that would….what would he be helping Sirius with….if it wasn't somehow related to dark creatures….."

James had to force himself to keep walking. Good Godric Peter was going to figure it out before they reached the matron at this point. Bloody Peter out of everyone!

"And…..and Remus had been….really upset after class…..a class on w….."

James lounged forward clasping a hand over Peter's little beady eyes that grew wide as saucers. James felt tears slip down his cheek and was glad that the only other students in the hall were three Hufflepuffs and two Slytherins who were looking at some pamphlet and laughing and therefore paying them no mind.

"I'm begging you Peter…begging you...don't just…...don't" James pleaded, his voice breaking as Peter's eyes just seemed to grow larger and larger. It would have been comical had the situation not been so grave. James was pretty sure Peter's eyes would never go back to their normal size again as they had grown so big. Peter nodded looking scared and James slowly lowered his hand, expecting Peter to start screaming at the top of his lungs ``one of my mates is a werewolf."

"Well…... I guess that makes sense…," Peter stammered understandably shocked.

"Peter please…..let Remus tell you himself."

Peter's shock fell into hurt.

"He told you both before me. Why?"

"It wasn't….it's not like that…."

"Then what was it like?" Peter asked outwardly, appearing a hell of a lot calmer than James remembered himself being when he had first figured it out.

"Well…... I figured it out myself…."

Peter's frown grew.

"Why didn't you tell me. I get Sirius but why not me? I usually just go along with your mean comments about dark creatures. I mean…..they scare me but I'm not going to be mean to Remus because of it. It's not his fault."

James hugged Peter who jerked back surprised.

"Wow, Peter you are such a good mate!"

"What? Why is that so surprising?" Peter asked, pulling away and looking pretty cross.

The question puzzled James.

"Because of the stigma and the prejudice in our society of course."

Peter looked confused.

"Remus didn't judge me about my father, why would I judge him about his?"

"What?" James asked dumbly as Peter started walking again not seeming to realize the color that had drained from James' face.

"It's awful but it's not Remus' fault."

"Not Remus' fault that…"

"That his father is….well you know. I'm guessing that's why Remus goes home so often and comes back so drained. He's taking care of his dad right?" Peter asked simply, completely missing the target that James had originally been impressed he had hit so squarely on before. Of course, Peter hadn't figured it out. It wasn't exactly something you accepted easily. James supposed he should be impressed Peter was taking Remus' dad 'being a werewolf' so well.

"I thought…..it would freak you out. I mean Remus is in danger once a month….what if…..what if he got bit….?" James asked carefully. Peter stopped walking, turning back with very wide eyes again.

"James, don't joke about that, that's awful."

"Would….would you still be his friend…..if he did?" James asked very softly, Peter and him practically whispering in the now empty except for them hall. Peter frowned, looking puzzled again, a sort of constipated look appearing on his face as he took the question very seriously.

"Well…... I guess?…... That would be pretty scary but again it wouldn't be his fault...But he wouldn't be at Hogwarts anymore so that would make it really hard huh?"

"You wouldn't hate him?" James asked desperately just wanting to tell Peter everything now. He didn't think Remus would appreciate Peter assuming that his abusive father was the werewolf, nor did he want Peter saying something about it to Remus. But what was the alternative?

"Why aren't you two at the hospital wing by now?" Lily asked as she stepped into the hall, her face red and splotchy, her fast pace where she still managed to angrily stomp her feet into the ground immediately giving him an idea about how poorly Lily and Sirius being left alone had gone.

"I….we…..were just going weren't we Peter?" James explained through clenched teeth grabbing Peter and giving him a tug.

"What's the matter James, Lily knows right?"

Lily who had been approaching them quickly stopped dead in her tracks and if she had previously looked irritated it was nothing to how she looked now, James swore she had physical fire in her eyes which burned into him.

"You….YOU told him! James, how could you?"

This had to be some sort of bad joke.

James slapped his forehead with his hand not even knowing where to begin, which naturally was when Sirus appeared.

"Why have you all stopped? Did Potter confess his undying love yet?" Sirius asked not at all reading the room.

"James told Peter!" Lily explained in a high pitch voice that happened right before she started shouting. James groaned loudly as Peter tried to defend him.

"Wait….you're ok with it Peter? Like completely?"

"Yeah….I guess."

"Blimey," Sirius exclaimed, looking both awed and horrified.

"Why are you four loitering around in the middle of the hall?" Professor McGonagall asked sharply, walking with her usual brisk walk. She seemed to be honestly puzzled which Sirius doubted would have been her reaction if Lily had not been with them. Then she saw Peter's now drying bloody nose, blood still smeared around his nose. A rather unfortunate-looking injury they had all forgotten about, even Peter.

"We were taking him to Madam Pomfrey's, Professor," Lily said sensibly. Professor McGonagall directed her piercing stare that had nothing on Lily's at them and asked them in a suspicious tone about what had happened.

"He tripped,"

"He fell down the stairs," Sirius and James both blurted out at the same time and James pinched his nose unsure whether to laugh or cry.

This was certainly all one bad joke.

Maybe this was Remus' clever revenge on them, which would have been preferable to Professor McGonnagal dragging all of them but Peter who was injured to her office. Which meant Lily had been roped into the trouble and James was pretty sure Lily wouldn't ever forgive him and Sirius for that.

"Now perhaps you three can explain what actually happened," Professor McGonnagal started when she had the three of them sitting in three seats in front of her desk. James would have thought Lily would have started crying or freaking out at possibly being in the danger zone of receiving detention but she just seemed annoyed. Probably because she was innocent and James was pretty sure McGonagal would believe Lily was innocent even if he and Sirius tried to pin everything on her. Which James would never ever do! But even though Lily really clearly wouldn't be in trouble he still found her brave for sitting in their Professor's office so calmly.

"Ms. Evans you seem the most likely one not to lie, perhaps you can explain."

"They were roughhousing Professor, giving poor Peter a hard time, and just being bloody morons like usual."

"Very well Ms. Evans but kindly keep vulgarity out of your language," Professor McGonnagal chided with a tone that seemed to suggest she completely understood why Ms. Evans resorted to swearing around the two of them. Lily blushed and nodded looking chastised and much more like how James would have imagined her to be behaving upon being in a Professor's office for something other than office hours.

"Now Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, I expect to see you back here for detention tonight."

"It was an accident Professor!" James protested which predictably did nothing to dissuade Professor McGonnagal.

"Then next time do not lie about it Mr. Potter, now you three may go check on Mr. Pettigrew and I suggest you apologize to him."

"Professor McGonagall, you wouldn't happen to know if Remus has returned to the castle yet do you?" Lily asked sweetly as if her slip-up with swearing was a rare thing and completely beneath her. Sirius scoffed but the question about Remus quickly grabbed his attention. James watched as Professor McGonagal raised an eyebrow at them and sighed.

"Yes, Ms. Evans he has. He's been staying in the hospital wing recovering from mild hypothermia."

"What!?" Sirius shouted, jumping to his feet looking outraged.

"Calm down Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin explained there was a bit of a camping mishap while he was with his father."

"Course he'd say that," Sirius growled angrily.

"Mr. Black, are you suggesting that the hypothermia was done on purpose?" Professor McGonagall asked sharply looking over her spectacles at Sirius who sat down and hung his head.

"Course not, just…..worried is all."

"Yes, well I believe he's fully recovered. Madam Pomfrey is just….thorough," she sighed and James had to admit she had a point there. Of course, it now made sense why the matron was a bit overprotective of Remus.

James wasn't sure whether to feel worry or relief about this new information. Was his hypothermia really an accident? Did he have any other injuries? But he was back, he was really back!

"Thank you Professor McGonagall we would like to go see him now if that's alright with you."

"Yes, Ms. Evans that's fine. You may leave. I'd like to discuss the details of the boys' detention with them."

Lily did not hesitate to leave the two boys behind to their head of houses' mercy.

"Now Mr. Black, I will ask you again, do you have reason to believe that Remus' hypothermia was inflicted on purpose?" Professor McGonagall asked a bit less sharply now, pushing a tin of biscuits forward in a truly Dumbledore fashion.

James hesitated then took one figuring if he stuffed his face he at least wouldn't have to answer such a tricky question. Sirius squirmed in his seat, but James figured if anyone had the right to alert their head of house to Remus' situation it was Sirius.

"I...don't know. I don't think he's very nice to Remus because…..because of his condition Professor." Sirius explained quietly and James started coughing and choking on his biscuit. Sirius had referred to Remus being a werewolf as 'his condition'. That must be progress!

"No, Mr. Black I don't suppose he is. However, I have told you before and I'll tell you…..are you quite alright Mr. Potter?"

"Mhm," James wheezed, tears in his eyes as he continued to cough and choke.

"Aguamenti, here Potter drink something before you spew biscuit all over my desk."

James took the glass of water Professor McGonagal handed him gratefully and took a helpful sip.

"Now as I was saying Mr. Black I will remind you again that if one of my students is being abused by their guardian or guardians it is important that you let either I or Albus know about it immediately."

"Assuming that was the case Professor there's nothing you can do so what does it matter."

Professor McGonagall raised an unamused eyebrow at Sirius who stared right back, the two of them in some sort of contest of wills that James was just glad he was not partaking in. To be sure the questions wouldn't be directed at him he took another biscuit this time careful not to choke.

"Don't tell me what I can't do Mr. Black. I think you will find Hogwarts is quite adept at handling and facing unfortunate conditions to ensure the safety of our students."

James held his breath and for a second he was certain that Sirius was going to tell their head of house everything, but then a steely look formed in his eyes, and James knew what his friend was going to say even before he said it.

"No, Professor McGonagall, I just don't like Lyall much. I think Remus deserves better."

"Hmph, that makes two of us Mr. Black. But without a formal disclosure of abuse, there is nothing I could do to intervene on Mr. Lupin's behalf." Professor McGonagall replied firmly and James could tell she was indeed upset about this.

After being in detention with his head of house countless times he had been able to tell when her frown was one of deep disappointment or when her frown, which would be pursed slightly more, was one of anger. As Professor McGonagall dismissed them James knew she was very disappointed indeed.