Chapter Seven: A Vile Git

"Do you think we should have told her Sirius?" James asked as they left.

"Tell her what exactly!" Lily demanded, sidestepping around a pillar her arms crossed, once more a determination in her eyes that made James' knees go slightly weak.

"None of your damn business Evans that's what," Sirius snapped, ignoring her incredulous look and grabbing James' hand to pull him along with him. Which was probably for the best. James already felt dreadful that his slip up had caused Peter to get closer to the should have denied Peter's guess but he had been so sure that Peter had gotten it and was replying better than both he and Sirius had….. But he wasn't about to let something else slip. Only he knew that he could not be trusted around Lily Evans.

"Thanks, mate," James breathed out in relief when they were out of eyesight and earshot of Lily who probably had tried to find out what was going on from Professor McGonagall. That was her mistake.

"I wasn't about to let you blab more of Remus' secrets," Sirius shot back shortly.

"Now hang on just a second I didn't blab anything," Sirius gave him a look that made James scowl, "Well not on purpose anyway and Peter isn't even right for your information!"

"What does that mean?"

"He thinks it's his dad."

"Huh? That's mental."

Just about as mental as one of their best mates having lycanthropy, but James decided not to point that out. They continued to walk a heavy silence falling and it didn't take a mind reader to know what Sirius was so quiet about.

"Just apologize to him, Sirius. Just tell him what an arse you are and all this will be over."

"Yeah."

"You think his dad kicked him out of the house or something?"

"Salaz….sorry Godric I hope not," Sirius muttered nearly slipping into his old Slytherin swears as he did once in a blue moon when he was deeply troubled and upset by something.

"You don't think we should tell McGonagall do you?" James asked in a much quieter volume this time.

"She can't do anything about it, James. Trust me she can't. She can spew all the nonsense she wants about Hogwarts being equipped but they aren't. Not to save a werewolf from his abusive father who the ministry would without a doubt support and see as nothing less than a hero for raising his own son instead of putting him down."

James nodded falling silent for a bit, hesitating about whether he should say something or not. But he really wanted to know the answer and he didn't think Sirius' mood could get much worse at the moment.

"Just…..just like they couldn't do anything about saving a son from his blood purists parents who have deep connections in the ministry?"

Sirius glanced sideways at James, they didn't talk about that, James knew they didn't. The two of them did not bring up Sirius' parents; it was an unspoken rule. James mentioned them occasionally around the breaks but that was when all the Marauders were present, when Remus was present to calm whatever tempest talking about his parents seemed to ignite in Sirius.

"Yeah…..now I know why Remus isn't…..he's not angry about his dad like I am. He defends his dad…...he tried to defend him to me several times. Now we know why….."

"A lot makes sense now…"

"Like why he's so sick in potions."

James gasped, he hadn't made that connection!

"You mean the wolfsbane! Crap."

"...James…..how do we help him?" Sirius asked dangerously close to crying.

"I don't know Sirius. But I swear we'll think of something. We need to make it up to him…...both of us…"

"All those things we said…...all those things I said…." Sirius groaned going pale.

"We'll make it up to him," James stated again, since he had no idea what else to say.

"His father forbade him from making friends…...damn…...it was right in front of us for so long…...I…..part of me was afraid…... I just couldn't imagine you know…." Sirius trailed off his voice cracking a pleading tone to his words that made James uncomfortable. He knew it was his fault for bringing up deep personal topics, now Sirius was going to start crying and he hadn't the foggiest notion of what to do.

"...Remus promised me it didn't hurt much…..you know….that it didn't hurt much," James sniffled.

"He's lying." Sirius sniffled, rubbing his eyes. James lost the battle with his tears, usually the first out of his friends to cry about stuff like this.

"What do we do Sirius?" he cried and Sirius pulled him into a consoling hug.

"I don't know James but I swear I'll come up with something."

"I'd give up all my gold to fix him, every last knut."

"Me too James…...me too. Come on we can't be crying when we see him. You know Remus, he'll start consoling us."

"Probably hand us a handkerchief, blimey he's such a swot," James choked back a sob letting out a watery laugh instead.

"The biggest swot," Sirius laughed back his laugh just as close to a sob as James. "Hey, James?"

"Yeah?" James sniffed letting go of Sirius and wiping his eyes. For a second James thought Sirius was going to say something else equally heartbreaking but then he smirked and gave James a light shove to send him off balance and took off sprinting down the hall with another forced laugh.

"Race you to the hospital wing!"

"Son of a banshee you cheater!" shouted back and just like that the heavy atmosphere around them which came from speaking of forbidden topics was gone….for now at least.

…..

"Professor McGonagall, they won't tell me what's going on, can you please tell me," Lily pleaded, feeling like she was missing something and not at all liking it.

"Ms. Evans I can neither confirm nor deny that there even is something to tell. I suggest you go visit Mr. Lupin as I suspect Madam Pomfrey will ban visitors shortly upon Mr. Black's and Mr. Potter's arrival."

"Alright. Thank you, Professor McGonagall."

"You are quite welcome, Ms. Evans. Oh and Ms. Evans you will let me know if Mr. Black ahem treats Mr. Lupin cruelly won't you?"

"Of course Professor," Lily replied relieved that their head of house was very much aware of everything that had transpired. Of course, Dumbledore had told her but it made Lily both sad and satisfied that Professor McGonagal also found it possible that Sirius could start bullying Remus again now that he knew that his friend was a werewolf.

It didn't take Lily long to reach the hospital wing as she had cut through three courtyards and had run there. She was pleased to find that she had reached the wing before Mr. Black and Mr. Potter who, knowing them, had probably gotten sidetracked making the toilets explode or something equally as atrocious. Remus really deserved better friends! It puzzled her how defensive he could be about his roommates, even Sirius, especially Sirius. Honestly, boys were such a mystery to her.

"Good afternoon Madam Pomfrey, I was informed by Professor McGonagal that Remus was here, would it be alright if I visited him for a bit?" Lily asked politely and was rewarded by the matron leading her to the back room.

"Just don't rile him up too much Ms. Evans and if he wants you to leave I ask that you don't argue, he's been..quite withdrawn lately, hopefully, you can help with that."

"Do….you know?" Lily asked carefully.

"You mean about Black and Potter knowing? Yes, Dumbledore informed me about what happened," Madam Pomfrey replied with a slight edge before leaving Lily in the back to brace herself before knocking lightly on the door.

"W…...who is it?" came Remus' choked-out response and Lily's heart lurched with sympathy, he sounded so scared.

"It's just me Remus."

"Oh, come in."

Lily entered and she couldn't deny that she felt quite pleased by the relief in Remus' voice when he realized it was her. She opened the door and was pleased to find that Remus seemed perfectly alright, better than she had ever seen him looking while in that bed. He was reading the theories around the goblin war textbook with a smudge of ink on his cheek and a large parchment filled with writing spread out in front of him. Lily beamed as she was so glad to see him ok. She had missed him quite terribly in the little over a week's time that he was gone.

"I see you've finished our essay for History of Magic already."

She expected him to give a small smile and casually ask her if she had finished hers and ask what stance she had chosen to defend and so forth. What she didn't expect was his eyes to fill with tears and for his hand to start shaking so badly that he had to put the textbook down.

"Sorry I thought…..I thought you might have been…"

"Do you want to talk to him?" She asked gently, trying to keep her feelings about Black under wraps….for now.

"No…..no definitely not. Only…..how…...how has he been…...what….do you know if he….." Remus trailed off blinking furiously so as not to actually start crying which was foolish of him. Lily strode over to him sitting at the edge of the bed and pulling him into a hug.

"Oh, Remus I wish I could tell you differently... he seemed really upset at first…..at himself I mean…..but he seems indifferent now," Lily explained and shushed Remus' many attempted apologies as he started to cry into her shoulder.

"Sorry….."

"Honestly Remus it's ok. We're friends and friends console one another and I can't even imagine how dreadful all of this has been for you. I heard you had hypothermia are you alright now?" Lily asked holding Remus tighter as he stiffened. "Remus please talk to me," she begged since he hardly ever opened up to her and there was so much she wanted to know. So much she didn't want to force him to tell her like those awful boys did but still so much she wanted to know.

"My dad…..he was really scared….thought the ministry might take me away…..he charmed the cabin but…...but I didn't listen and I just wanted to go outside. It was stupid Lily….I got lost but I'm...I'm fine now."

"Oh Remus, that must have been so scary!" Lily gasped in horror, unable to even picture herself all alone at night in her neighborhood with a bunch of houses and street lights. And by the sounds of it, Remus must have been somewhere deserted if he hadn't been able to find shelter.

"It was….and…..," he shuddered and let out a little whimper that broke Lily's heart. She must have let out a shuddering breath or perhaps Remus had finally felt her own tears that had reached his shoulder because he stiffened and just like that the few seconds of him being vulnerable and honest were sadly over. "I mean it was a bit…...but it really wasn't a big deal I'm ok now….really I've...I'm fine"

Lily swore she could hear the unsaid "I've been through worse" and let Remus break away from the hug quickly wiping her eyes. She knew better than to push him too hard so she would try to be pleased with the little that he had told her.

"Well, I'm glad you're alright. Would you like me to go warn Madam Pomfrey not to let….any other visitors to see you?" she asked eagerly, wanting nothing more than to keep Remus safe from Sirius.

"I…..I don't want to upset her Lily," Remus explained, looking uncomfortable and more hesitant about barring Sirius from seeing him than she would think. Honestly, what was he thinking!

"Remus she already knows, I'm sure of it. And Remus I don't want to meddle but I think you should avoid Sirius for a bit. I don't want him hurting you...again…" she added trying to keep her anger for Black out of her voice and failing.

"I will Lily. I know you're right. Sorry, I was just hoping…...it was stupid sorry….."

"It's not stupid Remus! Not at all Sirius is just," an evil git, "a…...very troubled," moron, arse, "a very troubled little boy." Lily finished proud of herself for being so civil when she very much wanted to hex Sirius into next week.

"Ok Lily…." Remus replied softly, looking terribly upset. Lily wished she hadn't brought up Sirius that she had talked about something light-hearted, something fun, something that would make Remus smile, not look like he might start crying again.

"I…... I think…..I might want to be alone….." Remus whispered not meeting her eyes and she felt bad wishing she had handled things better. Well, she could at least respect his wishes, that was the right thing to do. Wasn't it?

"Alright..."

She went to stand, the cot creaking slightly as she did, when a loud knock came on the door and the door handle jiggled but Lily had wisely locked it behind her upon entering. Remus jumped and grabbed her hand squeezing it tightly. He looked so small and ever so scared.

"I'll make sure they leave Remus don't worry," she assured him and he seemed to realize what he had done, letting go of her hand quickly and refusing to meet her eyes as he let out a torrent of panicked 'sorrys'.

"Remus let us in, Remus please I need to talk to you," Sirius was basically pressing his mouth to the door, probably trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to alert Madam Pomfrey to his presence.

"Remus, you can hold my hand, it's fine," she pointed out ignoring Black's whispered shouts. She remembered not that long ago Remus had danced with her at the Yule Ball. He had seemed so happy then, now he seemed to think touching her hand was an awful thing to do. Lily sighed heavily walking a bit away from Remus' bed who seemed perfectly content with burying his face in his knees and ignoring both her and Sirius. It always seemed to be one step forward three steps back with her dear friend. And it was all Black's fault.

"Leave him alone Black."

"Lily? You're already in there? How is he? Is he hurt?" Sirius asked frantically and Lily felt the familiar doubt about Sirius. Maybe he really did care about Remus? Or maybe he was just trying to get into the room? Either way, Remus had made it clear he wanted to be alone and Lily could do so very little to help her friend that she could at least do this much.

"Sirius, he doesn't want to see you. Go. Away."

"Lily please I need to see... I need to talk to him. Please," Sirius pleaded and again Lily felt a tug on her heart because he sounded so sincere. But Lily had heard Sirius talk his way out of multiple detentions with all his misplaced charm and ability to fake innocence. He was a great actor. She was pretty sure that his indifference earlier had not been an act though.

She tried not to buy into the prejudices of the wizarding world. But it was hard not to believe that pureblood wizards inherently were just awful people, including Sirius Black. Only any time she began to think that way she remembered the way Sirius' mother had shouted obscenities at her own son in front of the whole of Hogwarts through a howler. Lily sighed heavily again, letting some of the anger leave her. She knew that she could have a bit of a temper but she had meant what she had said at Peter's birthday party, what felt like forever ago. She was trying to be a nicer person, trying to be as the complete opposite to her older sister as someone could be. That meant being open-minded, being what felt like foolishly open-minded.

"Lily please," Sirius begged when she didn't respond, he sounded so desperate.

After all, Sirius was a hurt little boy too. Different from Remus, both in how he was hurting and how he handled it. But she wouldn't easily forget how stricken he had looked as his mother had spewed such vile hatred towards him before he had seemed to grow cold from her words.

"I'm sorry Sirius, Remus wants to be alone right now so maybe later?" Lily forced herself to reply kindly, choosing to give the boys the benefit of the doubt.

"Lily, you hag open the door right now or I'll blast it off the hinges," Sirius snarled.

"Careful how you talk to her mate," James scolded because of course, he was there too. Lily felt like Potter and Black were glued to the hip half the time. They seemed more like twins than Fabian and Gideon, at least more than the older boys did nowadays.

"She's a bossy stinky arsehole James and you know it," She heard Sirius retort and Lily's anger spiked again.

Why did she even bother trying to be nice to Sirius? It was baffling to her. He clearly was angry and wanted to somehow blame Remus, to make him feel bad, and bully him like he had done last year.

"If you don't leave right now I'll scream for Madam Pomfrey and she won't be pleased to find you toe rags here. She knows all about what you did Black," she added spitefully. There was a long pause but she didn't open the door as she hadn't heard retreating footsteps unless they really were that good at sneaking. Maybe that's why they hardly ever seemed to get caught breaking rules?

"Even me Lily? Can't I at least come in," James pleaded and Lily did feel bad for him because she knew he meant no harm. But James was loyal to Sirius who it seemed was quite good at fooling everyone.

"No Potter, not even you. He's made that very clear."

"Lily I swear…" Sirius growled darkly and she didn't catch what James whispered to him in retort only that it sounded angry.

"Look at that you're making him cry," Lily snapped and finally heard the footsteps signaling the boys' retreat. She felt a bit bad about lying, although perhaps it wasn't lying at all. Remus was still buried in his knees and when Lily asked him if he wanted her to stay he didn't even reply. Sighing heavily she slipped back out before Black changed his mind and came stomping back like the absolute neandertal he was. She had half a mind to stay there and guard the door and took a few hesitant steps forward trying to see if the coast was clear.

She found Sirius and James had retreated a bit but had not left. They appeared to be arguing amongst themselves in angry whispers. They must have been using Peter as a decoy again if the exaggerated sputtering and choking sounds were anything to go by.

"I thought I told you to leave," she pointed out, bracing herself to needing to physically hold Sirius back from getting in.

"Lily you are not the boss of me," Sirius sneered with that awful haughty look in his eyes that made him look so much more like his cousin, and nowadays, based on what Lily had glimpsed, his little brother also.

"If you care about him Sirius you will respect his wishes. Whatever you want to say can wait. Quit being such a monster," she hissed knowing the choice of word would really get under his skin. Sirius pulled away from James who had been holding him back, but she knew it was hard for James to fight with Sirius when he had such a determined and dark look in his stone-grey eyes.

Lily was one of the few who could stand up to him when he was like this. She stood tall glaring at him as he got right in her face, eyes blazing.

"You don't understand. I need to talk to him," he stated through clenched teeth, apparently trying one more time to reason with her. What was she going to do if she refused? Hit her? Based on how he talked about his cousins he had and would hit a girl again. She cleared her throat knowing there was one way around this that wouldn't end with one of them hexed... or her with a bruise.

"MADAM POMFREY!"

Sirius recoiled looking absolutely livid.

"You'll pay for this Lily."

"No, you'll pay Black because clearly, you haven't learned your lesson," she replied, tears pricking at her eyes, this time from anger. She was, unfortunately, an angry crier but the last thing she wanted to do was give Sirius the satisfaction of her crying so he could brush her off as some "crybaby girl'.

Madam Pomfrey reached them and with a flick of her wand both Sirius' and LIly's wand flew out of their hands. Lily, if she was being completely honest, hadn't even realized her wand had been jammed in Sirius' side and his into hers. Looking past Sirius she could see James looking ready to faint. He sure was caught in the middle a lot, wasn't he? Maybe if he had chosen a better friend than Black he would have an easier time of things. Maybe then Potter would be bearable at least.

"I can only begin to imagine what this is about. Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, you will leave the hospital wing immediately or I will get Minerva am I clear?"

"Crystal," Sirius replied quietly, never taking his hard eyes off Lily's.

"Then leave, NOW." Madam Pomfrey scolded and James took a few steps to grab Sirius' arm looking hesitant. Lily wasn't sure if Sirius was going to cry or blow the hospital wing to bits.

"Come on mate," James encouraged gently, and Sirius nodded some of the darkness leaving his eyes as he turned and followed James out. Peter's retching 'coincidentally' stopped as they walked past his bed.

"Ms. Evans, I understand you are cross with Mr. Black but I would advise you to be wiser than resorting to violence. Now were you able to get Mr. Lupin to talk?"

"A bit, he's worried about Sirius…"

"Well, Albus has assured me there is nothing to fear from the boy though I must say after that display I have half a mind to argue with Albus about it," Madam Pomfrey looked quite stressed, handing Lily back her wand and pocketing Blacks, who it appeared, would have to come back and apologize to the matron to get it. Lily found herself liking Madam Pomfrey a great deal more, not that she hadn't liked the woman before, she had even sometimes been trying to copy the matron's way of talking to Remus as he actually seemed to listen to her.

"I think you should...argue that is Madam Pomfrey. I know that Sirius bullied Remus before and I'm really worried he will start doing so."

"Yes, well I'm afraid there's not much point in arguing with Albus he just does whatever he pleases without the faintest notion…." Madam Pomfrey caught herself and cleared her throat realizing she had been venting about the headmaster to a student. "Yes well anyways. Ms. Evans if you see something that suggests Mr. Black is bullying Mr. Lupin I want you to tell me….or better yet Professor McGonagal alright?"

Lily assured Madam Pomfrey she would do just that and left the hospital wing glad that two of her favorite and two of the most capable people at Hogwarts truly seemed to have Remus' best interest at hand.

….