You can thank Soniabigcheese for this short…
Alan sighed. Why was it him, again, that was accompanying Virgil and Grandma with the monthly stock-up. Why did Gordon never take a turn? He sighed again, and John's hologram popped up.
'Alan, make it snappy. There's a developing situation and we may need you back quickly.' John disappeared as quickly as he had appeared, causing Alan to frown. He looked over his list. Divide and conquer, Virgil had said, and we will get this done quicker. Well, if they were needed because of a rescue, the list could be damned, and Alan ran down the aisle grabbing this that and anything on his way to the checkout.
Virgil and Grandma were already there, and both had eyebrows lost in their hairlines on sight of Alan's trolley. He'd forgotten what isle he was in…for while it started with hair products (8 tubs of super shiny? Really?), it finished with ladies toiletries. He was sure that neither Grandma or Kayo would appreciate 37 lipsticks and 20 mascaras. Alan wasn't going to even think about 18 boxes of tampons…
Once back on the island, no rescue after all, and everything unpacked, Alan approached his fish brother. 'How come you don't ever go shopping with Virg and Grandma?' Gordon gave him a knowing smile and a wink. 'For the same reason Scott doesn't go. I'm far too important.' And that was all the information he was getting.
No way was Alan asking Scott. Everyone knew not to take Scott shopping. The man's hatred of it was legendary, and the last time he could recall it had ended with six beheaded mannequins, a very unhappy store manager and John doing some speedy damage control. The blast residue on the ceiling was still there…
So the only person he could ask was probably the one he should have asked first. John listened to his question and laughed outright at Gordon's reply, and flicked over a vid.
As Alan watched, a giant octopus strode up the aisle, six arms grabbing anything and everything in reach. By the time it got to the end the trolley was overflowing and the shelves were barren and destroyed.
So that's why Gordon never when shopping. Alan wished he could do something to get out of it too..