"Tell me," Morgana said, bringing the wine to the table, "has the king asked you to dine with us this evening?"

"Yes," Krysia said, "he asked this morning."

One benefit of the weather going colder was that Krysia was able to wear less silk and more practical fabrics. Her deep blue gown, one of her favorites, was a thick, durable fabric, and she could move in it without feeling like every part of her was shown.

"I'm delighted," Morgana said. "It's lovely having you there when Arthur's away. Sometimes Uther and I have very little to say to each other, but he always seems to have things to discuss with you."

Krysia hummed and sipped her wine, ignoring the initial sourness of the first sip hitting her palette and instead focusing on the warming sensation in her throat.

She wasn't thrilled to be having dinner with Morgan and Uther in his quarters while Arthur was on his hunting trip but given Morgana's recent behavior and increased hatred of Uther, it was probably safer for someone to chaperone.

Morgana considered Krysia for a long moment in silence while Krysia turned her attention to the peas on her plate, and then she set down her own glass and smiled.

"You should have Enid do something different with your hair," Morgana said.

Krysia looked at her hair, which had settled on her shoulders quite nicely, she thought, to the point that Enid even agreed it wasn't necessary to mess with on such a cold morning.

"Why?" Krysia said.

"I just think it's a bit…well…you could give it a bit more ceremony, surely."

"What for?"

"Well," Morgana said, "Uther surely would like to see you make an effort, wouldn't he?"

The sentence seemed strange to Krysia, and she frowned at her plate, trying to figure out why. She hadn't even determined how she felt about it before she heard her own voice say, without planning to, "He likes when I wear my hair down."

This was true, and Krysia knew now for certain that it was because it reminded him of her mother. Morgana smiled brighter.

"Very well, then," Morgana said. "Forget I said anything."

And Krysia did.

/-/

Gwaine had slept very little of late. He had a feeling that someone was watching him for several days, across two villages and even in the forest. When he did fall asleep, he had strange dreams, twisted and colorless, often like he was running, not away from something but toward it.

He had taken to sitting up with his back to a tree, staring into the night and holding Krysia's belt, sitting in silence in case whatever was watching him came for him.

/-/

In the evening, Krysia went to Uther's quarters as requested. Morgana was already there, and she seemed to have sent away the servant, because she was laying out the food and drink on the table, setting a place for Krysia beside Uther, a place for herself across from them, nearer the door.

"Good evening," Krysia said, bowing her head.

Uther stood when she entered, and he took her hand and kissed it when she sat beside him. She couldn't say why, as it was technically appropriate and even flattering for him to do it, but she felt a bit uncomfortable when he kissed her hand.

"This is nice," Morgana said, finally sitting across from them. "Much cozier than the council table, isn't it?"

"Yes," Krysia said, reaching for her wine.

"Quite," Uther agreed, his voice much closer to Krysia than she had expected.

They ate and Morgana seemed to direct the conversation, drawing Uther to compliment Krysia, drawing Krysia to agree about various things, from the comfort of her chambers to her pleasure with the recent celebration they'd had at a feast, to her thoughts on her recent duties she'd taken on to support the council in organizing its aid to outlying villages.

Krysia hadn't been asked to agree with anything she didn't agree with, but she felt increasingly uncomfortable as Morgana seemed to regularly redirect Uther's attention on Krysia. She tried to hide behind her wine goblet as much as possible, but that almost made her feel worse, and the wine was gone before she had finished her food. She didn't dare ask for more.

"Well, I'm exhausted," Morgana said, standing suddenly. Uther barely noticed, staring at Krysia. "But don't let my presence keep you from enjoying yourselves. Have a good night."

Krysia tried to speak, but her voice felt frozen in her chest, nowhere near her lips. Every effort to make a similar declaration made her feel dizzy. When the door closed behind Morgana, Uther took Krysia's hand in his hands, and the dizziness intensified.

"You'll stay a little while longer?" he said.

She wanted to say that she actually needed to go to bed, that she wasn't feeling terribly well, but the words didn't come.

"Yes," her voice said without her bidding, and the dizziness subsided slightly.

Uther brightened, and they ate in silence for a little while. He seemed to be working himself up for something, and finally he decided to speak.

"I know it is late," he said, "but I wondered whether you'd go for a ride with me in the morning. We would leave before the dawn."

She again tried to say that she was tired, that she was flattered but no, but her voice came out again without her bidding.

"Yes, sire."

Uther brightened again, kissing her hand, this time lingering slightly with his lips on her hand. Krysia sat very still, wondering if this was a dream, and if she just thought about being awake long enough, she would wake and this would be over.

"Then I should let you get some sleep," he said. "Good night, my lady. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Yes, sire," she said. "Goodnight."

The dizziness subsided completely as she stood, and a relief washed over her, but only until she reached the stair and realized that in a few hours, he would be expecting her, and she could only hope that she figured out what was wrong with her voice before then.

/-/

Leon went by Krysia's chambers to see how she was faring and wish her a good morning, and he felt a little foolish, but he'd gathered a few wildflowers. He wasn't sure if she even liked wildflowers, but it was the sort of thing a lot of women did like, and surely she'd appreciate the gesture.

He knocked and was surprised to find only Enid there.

"Hello, Sir Leon," she said. She saw the flowers and smiled weakly. "I'm afraid she's out on a ride with the king. Shall I put them in water for her?"

"I…yes," Leon said, mildly relieved. What was he bringing her flowers for? That was only bound to confuse things. Wasn't it? "Can you…not tell her they're from me?"

Enid frowned slightly and said, "If you'd like, sir. Let me know if you change your mind on that."

"I'll let you know," he said, "but I don't think I'll change my mind."

/-/

After watching the sun rise, which Krysia appreciated, despite the coolness of the morning, Krysia had expected that they would ride back, but she was immediately pleased that Enid convinced her to take one of her thickest furs, because Uther pulled a small picnic basket down from his saddle.

"Morgana packed us a breakfast," he said.

"Did she?" Krysia said, feeling a sense of foreboding bubbling up in her stomach.

"She said you like pickled eggs," Uther said.

"I do," Krysia said, and he sat beside her with the basket, opening it and beginning to think she shouldn't partake of the beverage.

When he went to pour her a glass and she shook her head. He shrugged and poured some for himself, and she looked instead at the food, surprised to find two lemon cakes.

"Those are for you," he said, smiling. "My idea."

The tray of lemon cakes, she realized, was probably from Uther. It was a sweet gesture, although she still wasn't sure what it meant. She hadn't felt uncomfortable thinking they were from Leon, but somehow the idea that they came from Uther was a bit uncomfortable. Still, it would be rude not to eat them, and she was hungry.

The first was surprisingly sour for a moment, but it dissipated as she continued to eat, mellowing into the usual levels of lemon.

They ate in relative silence for a while, and Uther moved a bit closer to her where they sat by the river. The warmth of having someone near was nice on this chilly morning, but she did want to shift further away.

"You look lovely," he said.

"Thank you," she said, tucking a bit of hair behind her ear.

"May I ask you something?" he said.

"Yes."

He sat up a bit, and he looked almost vulnerable for a moment, like a child. Krysia wondered what he might possibly want to ask her that would make him this nervous.

"You'll be truthful?"

"Of course, sire."

He looked at her hand as he spoke, rather than her face, and he said, "Morgana mentioned that you said you found me…attractive."

Krysia felt that freezing in her chest again. She had never said such a thing to Morgana, not that she could recall. Had she? He wasn't unattractive, and perhaps he had been quite good looking in his youth.

He looked shyly up at her face and said softly, "Do you?"

The freezing intensified and she felt dizzy staring down at him. She wanted to say something, anything to extricate herself from this very strange conversation.

"Yes, sire," she heard herself say.

He brightened right away, sitting up a bit, coming even closer to her. She couldn't seem to move, like a scared deer.

"May I kiss you?" he whispered.

"Yes," she heard herself say.

He was a surprisingly gentle kisser, not what she expected from such a hard man. The shyness was back, in a way, as he seemed to pause against her lips, like he was wordlessly asking for further permission. She was frozen, and her chest tightened, and as if her body answered the wordless question like her voice had answered the voiced questions, she leaned into the kiss without actively trying to, and he took this as permission to deepen the kiss.

It wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it was very pleasant. The dizziness and tightness dissipated, as did her fear. It was surreal, strange, like she was in some dream, but it no longer felt like a nightmare. If she woke up, she wouldn't dread falling back asleep. She just didn't quite understand why it was happening and how she'd gotten here, like that peculiar disjointedness one often finds in dreams.

When he finally broke the kiss his gloved hand caressed her face, and he was looking at her with that same expression she recalled from when he was wearing the charm she'd stolen from the troll's grasp. That same rush of power struck her, like she had some remarkable amount of control, which was dizzying after just feeling like she couldn't even control her own body.

"Was that…good?" he said.

"Yes," she said honestly.

It was, but the simple answer didn't cover how it was also not something she'd asked for or intended or wanted. But those words stayed stuck inside her.

"You'll dine with me again tonight?" he said.

"Yes, sire," her voice said.

He traced his thumb over her lip and said, "Just Uther, Krysia. Just…just Uther."

She heard her voice whisper, "Uther," and she was surprised when he leaned in and kissed her again, not bothering to hesitate this time, not pausing to ask. Still pleasant, but much more the kind of demanding kiss she expected from a man like Uther.

/-/

Leon and Geraint were headed for the kitchens when they came across Krysia, looking tired but otherwise well, and Enid coming the other direction. Leon was surprised when Geraint seemed to stumble for a step, and he frowned at his friend, who didn't seem to notice he'd done it.

"Good afternoon, ladies," Geraint said, bowing lower than usual.

Krysia seemed amused, and Leon frowned at his friend, who kissed Krysia's hand, then reached and kissed Enid's, who turned pink and stammered her greeting.

Geraint then looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he bowed low again and walked off, leaving Leon behind.

Enid, flustered, mentioned something to Krysia about mending, and took off in the opposite direction.

"What was that about?" Leon said.

"Geraint met Enid for the first time this morning," Krysia said, smiling. "I think he thinks she's quite pretty."

"I mean…she is," Leon said. "But Geraint—"

"All men can fall in love, Leon," Krysia said, and she looked a bit uncomfortable for a moment before she forced a smile. "I think it's sweet. He could do a lot worse than a practical woman like Enid, and she could hardly do better."

Leon wasn't sure he agreed that Geraint could be in love, especially if he'd only just met her that morning, but Krysia was right that in many ways they would be good for each other.

"How are you sleeping?" Leon said.

"Well enough," Krysia said. "I didn't get much last night, but it couldn't be helped. I…" She trailed off, frowning again. Then she suddenly smiled and said, "I'm glad you didn't go off on the hunt. It's odd enough not having Arthur around."

Leon tried not to feel too flattered at her statement, and he watched her walk away, confident, comfortable, beautiful. He hoped someday he figured out a way for her to get what she wanted, because surely it would feel worthwhile to deny himself when she was happily married and living her life. It had to feel better than this.

/-/

Every night for nearly a week, Uther asked Krysia to dinner in his quarters, and each day her voice answered yes when her mind tried to find a way to say no. Even after Arthur returned and expressed mild confusion at the fact that Uther was clearly courting Krysia for all of the castle to see, Krysia couldn't seem to express her own confusion and alarm. She couldn't seem to express anything except agreement, at least where Uther was concerned.

She sat on the floor beside Uther one evening, her hair adorned with amethysts Enid had chosen to match her gown, and the fire keeping them warm as the sipped their wine. His hand was tracing gently along the embroidery up her arm. He'd become increasingly comfortable touching her, even where others might see, and she found that when he did, her body would freeze and her voice would stick in her chest, and she simply accepted the attention. She'd almost given up fighting the reaction, because the more she fought it, the more unwell she felt. It wasn't as though he was hurting her, and really, it wasn't unpleasant attention. In a different life, she might even court the attention. If she hadn't already had a destiny, this was the sort of courtship she might enjoy.

"You really are so lovely," he whispered, taking the wine from her other arm and setting it aside. "Krysia, are you happy?"

Happy? She thought so. Or, she wasn't unhappy. Or, perhaps she was happy. She'd been happier, but…

"Yes," she heard herself say before she'd decided.

"Good," he whispered.

He kissed her, and she kissed back, more on habit now than anything else. He was a good kisser, and she had learned quickly what he enjoyed, including a light nibbling on his lower lip, which always made him groan into her mouth, which she found pleasant.

He pressed his forehead to hers and said, "I would like you to sit beside me at the feast tomorrow."

"Of course," she said,

"You'll wear your red and gold gown?"

She felt pause at that suggestion, although she wasn't sure why. It was a comfortable dress, and certainly seasonably warm. She knew there was some reason she didn't think it was a good idea, but she couldn't recall what it was.

"Yes, sire," she heard herself say.

"Uther," he corrected.

"Uther," she echoed.

He kissed her again, more aggressively than before, pulling her close. He stopped the kiss abruptly and pulled one of her hands to his face, leading her to caress his skin the way he often did with hers. She followed his lead, touching the side of his face, tracing his jaw.

"Kiss me," he whispered, staring at her with a kind of reverence. "Please."

Krysia leaned in, kissing him gently on the lips.

"More," he whispered against her mouth.

And so she did, deepening the kiss, allowing him to take the submissive role he seemed to crave in the kiss.

It was pleasant, she thought, closing her eyes and letting herself be led by sensation. If she could forget for a moment that this was Uther, or even if she just abandoned the idea of a destiny, she could sit in this moment for some time, leading Uther in the kiss, appreciating the tremble in his hand as he reached to caress his neck.

He kissed down her jaw, lavishing her neck, and Krysia closed her eyes tighter, feeling a strange blend of foreboding and excitement, and she wasn't sure which was real and which was whatever this strange dream she was walking through.

Uther kissed back up to her lips, then leaned back with a reluctant expression and said, "You'll wear the red and gold dress?"

"Yes," she said, this time caressing the side of his face without being bid, without even thinking of it. He smiled at her.

"It will be a night to remember," he said, "I promise you that."

Krysia felt herself tense inside for the first time in a while, but the dizziness was so unpleasant that she let it go.

Everything was fine.

A/N:

To SarahELupin: Yeah, you're not wrong. Unfortunately, it was already too late by that point.

-C