Even though we gotten some new people to work with us, their scheduling system is so stupid and doesn't seem to help us keep up with production. That, and our company is so greedy and stingy, that they won't let us have two closers to help deal with the customers and tourists that come in at night.
And don't get me started on some of our workers, who like to complain, become drama queens and keep bailing on us when we can't afford slackers to ditch us.
Sorry for the rambling, you guys. Really needed to get that off my chest... The only good thing (If you view it as good, or not.), is that I've been working at Vons for five years, since June 4th, and will now have 3 weeks paid-vacation to use.
Anyway, enjoy the chapter!
Three Days Later: Ahch-To...
"Child! Bring in the haul! They'll be arriving, soon!" Standing a few feet from shore, a spear in both hands, Rey turned away from the splashing waves on catching fish to turn to the Lanai that called out to her.
"I'll meet you back at the village, Chyru!" She called out, focusing back to the water and, seeing a fish swim by her feet, stabbed it swiftly to its face and carried it with her to the collection of fish she caught today.
Most are small, average-size fishes, which she learned are called Scalefin Fish, but compared to the Lanai's small body and anatomy with her own human body, she caught just enough to feed the village all night and have some extra to last the Lanais the next few days. She, even, caught a couple of big fishes, including a Twinfin Hyacander, for Chewie to enjoy for the festival. His Porgs, of course, will try to take the whole thing, but they won't be able to finish a quarter of the fish by the time they get their fill.
The Lanai, Chyru, waved her hand to the girl, then turned and started to head for the hut.
Rey breathed in deeply in the salty, cool air. It made her shiver from the cool-temperature touching her face and seeping underneath her tunic to make her quiver when it stroked her neck.
She coughed into her mouth, having the butt of her spear to pin the ground to keep her steady when she slightly hunched over. Liquid hit her hand, which she didn't need to see it being the same dark-brown phlegm that she's been expelling for months.
With each breath she takes, a stabbing pain pulses within her chest. The metallic taste in her mouth made her want to keel over. Her knees buckled, feeling drained from the lack of food she refused to eat and the fatigue building up.
Rey allowed herself to drop to one knee, hunch over and puke out what little was in her stomach, being mostly stomach bile and some water she drank.
She knew that her body can't keep going on like this, but in her state of mind she's convinced that she has to put herself through this. That she has to punish herself, while she helps the Lanais with the chores they assign her to do.
'This isn't a difficult task,' she thought. 'You had to drag scraps of ship parts in a makeshift sleigh, having to walk across the heat of the sun for hours, only to eat once every three days, when you were eight. This should be nothing compare to what happened on Jakku, and yet you're proving to fail to do your duties.'
Scooping up a hand-full of water, Rey slurped at the ocean water. Ahch-To ocean water doesn't have much salt in the ocean than most planets and/or moon does, so there wasn't much of a risk factor on having to drink the ocean.
At least she was keeping to staying hydrated. Though, Chewie would chastise her for skipping meals and not getting enough calories into her weakened body. Luckily for her, he's helping the Lanais setting up the lights and bone-carcass of Wharlithan to the gathering for the celebration. So, the Wookiee couldn't check on her as much during the day. Though, the nineteen year-old has her suspicions that the Lanais may be doing his job for him, since he seems to know when she hadn't or not.
'It's not like I'm going to need food, anytime soon.' She thought, sighing deeply through her nose, as she takes a few more hand-full of water. 'Not when I won't need to eat, anymore.'
"Glad to see one of my spears is being put to use, still."
Rey jumped to the voice in front of her, falling on her butt, elbows and back, soaking most of her body with water, her spear falling forward but resting against against the shore, the dead fish still hook to the end. Her hazel-eyes grew big, unable to believe what she was seeing before her.
There, standing before her, in a blue-aura, is the very man she idolized. Yet, also, got on her very nerve and made her want to whack him upside off the head with her quarterstaff, if she only brought it with her and not a spear that can be lethal.
Luke Skywalker, himself.
He gave her a raised eyebrow.
"Jeez, Kid. You looked as if you've seen a ghost*. -He then chuckled, shaking his head from side-to-side.- Then again, who am I to talk?"
Rey couldn't form any word. She could only blink, hoping that she hadn't lost it from the lack of rest she's been getting from the many troubling dreams she had for who know how long.
Luke got down to her level, on his knees, not hacking to be concerned on getting wet.
"...Well? Don't you have anything to say?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her, again.
Only one thing got past her lips.
"...I've finally lost it. Haven't I?"
He somewhat expected her to ask such a question, but here did expected a few other words to come out before that question.
"If you were losing it, you would be seeing me alive than dead and as a Force Ghost."
Slowly, with her eyes still on the Force Ghost of Leia's brother, she reached for the spear and used it to get back to her feet. Her cloak, now heavy, wet and cold from absorbing the water, made her shiver and feel a few extra pounds heavier to slouch on the spear for support.
"And you wouldn't have your odd sense of humor, if I were hallucinating." She added, not sounding happy, irritated, upset or annoyed that the man could still make a serious situation some form of a joke.
Luke simply stared at her. Even though he's a ghost, the wind seem to somewhat have his hair and his own cloak flutter a bit.
The fifty-three year-old didn't seem in the mood to make any kind of joke with her.
He jerked his head towards the mountain, where the Uneti Tree is located.
"We need to talk."
Rey stared into Luke's blue-eyes.
After she put all of her haul into the biggest wheel barrel the Lanai poses for her to use, which was only a foot boxer and longer for the males to use, Rey walked the long trail for the tree, with her cargo in tow. She soon finds herself sitting on the log with Luke, staring at what remains of the Uneti Tree.
The sight of it made Rey sad.
It was old, very old. No leaves growing on its branches, and mostly grey. Probably could continue to stand for another hundred years or two, before it finally collapse and dies off.
Still, it was strong in her eyes and to see it damaged and burnt almost to its stump, made her feel sad. As if seeing what little remains of an old friend she didn't get to say goodbye to.
"It was nearing its end, Rey." Luke told her, as if he read her mind. "It was swift, that its soul died and didn't have to suffer its body being burnt. -He turned back to the tree, sighing deeply.- Master Yoda made certain to not have it suffer."
"Still, he killed it." She muttered, wrapping her arms around her midsection. "...But then, it's like you said. It was time for it to end."
Luke turned back to the girl, giving her a blank look but his eyes held a hint of concern.
"You look thinner." He commented, changing the subject. "Is Leia not feeding you right, or those little scavenging fuzzballs Chewie's keeping as pets been eating you guys high and dry?"
Rey pulled her still wet cloak a bit tighter over her form, looking off to the side.
"It isn't the general's doing," she replied. "I've been ill, lately, so my appetite had been nonexistent. -Her stomach grumbled, both in pain and in hunger, making her wince and clutching on her tank top.- Now, just the thought of food, alone, let alone the smell of it, makes me more nauseous than starving for days."
Luke knows he can't keep making small-talks with the girl, not when he can see that she's purposely hiding what he already know is going on with her health and body.
And, because he's on a time limit before he has to return to the Force, beating around the bush isn't an option. And his sense of humor won't do him any good to try and reach out to her, if he wants to steer her away from the path she's choosing to follow.
So, he decides to tell her something that he needs to say to her.
"...You were right, Rey."
Rey turned to Luke, who stared back at the tree.
"Right about what?" She asked, before coughing into her hand.
"About me. -He, again, turned to face her.- ...And, about Ben."
Bringing up his nephew, immediately had her standing up.
"No!" She exclaimed. "I wasn't right about you, at all! And as sure as Sith wasn't right about him!"
He knew it was going to turn into an argument, and how in deep denial she'll be in her current state of mind.
He got to his feet as well, staring down at her.
"Rey-" He started, but was then cut off by Rey.
"You were right all along, Master! On how wrong the Jedi Order really is, and how it has to end! You were right to not bring it back, and I was wrong to try and make you continue its despicable ways! -A hand laid over her chest, as the nagging cough build up and had to stop to get it out of her.- I was only told stories about the good deeds the Jedis from the past did for the galaxy, yet I never knew the horrible truth on what being a Jedi meant and what it would cost them! -Small-beads of tears started to form in the corner of her eyes.- And I was wrong about Kylo Ren!"
"Rey-"
"I thought I could reach him, when I went to him that day! I truly thought he would turn against the First Order, and bring him back to the Light! Back to Leia! But, instead, he chose power! He chose to rule the galaxy, over stopping the cycle on what turned his own grandfather to the Dark Side and destroying it! What made him become Kylo Ren! To have drove him to-...!"
She choked on a sob, unable to finish what happened on that dreadful day. When she watched Han Solo, the Smuggler and best fighter in the Resistance... The first to ever give her the one gift nobody had ever given her, and became the father-figure she never had in her life... Stabbed. Killed right before her eyes.
A hand laid on her back, keeping her steady when she's left coughing into her hands, again, forcing out the dark-brown phlegm and hoarse cough out of her lungs.
The coughing didn't stop, however, and made the stabbing sensation in her chest worsen, and her knees buckled until she fell on them to sit. The phlegm seeped through the gap between her fingers, and soon, she feels the water she drank rise from her stomach and up her throat.
She hunches over the ground, puking out the water.
Luke stayed beside her, kneeling next to her and waiting silently for her to recover.
It took three heaves of water being forced out of her body to leave her gasping. Each of her hands held fist full of grass, but it did little to help get air back into her lungs and not feel as if she's being buried in sand.
"Breathe, Rey." Luke instructed her, gently urging her to sit and pull both get knees up to have them on both side to her head. "Breathe in. Breathe out. Come on, follow my lead. In. Out."
She could barely hear him, but was able to feel the expansion of his chest to tell the rhythm his breathing is going to have her follow his lead. It was a bit difficult, at first, when her lungs would pulse in pain from being force to breathe slower and deeper than fast and light.
It wasn't until the eleventh inhale and exhale that she finally started to feel the weight removing itself from her chest. The ringing in her ears went away and can hear the waves of the water, the wind blowing and the cries of the Porgs squealing, again.
She kept her head down and in-between her knees, as she slowed her breathing.
Luke had a look of remorse and sympathy on his face, watching the struggling girl to calm down and undergoing the pain in her chest and anxiety building up within her.
"...What in the name of the Core have we done to you?"
Rey didn't answer his question. She went silent when she finally gotten control of her breathing. Her mind remained focused on with the conversation. More specifically, about B-... Kylo Ren.
She breathe deeply through her nose.
"...You know that I took the Jedi Texts with me, that night I left." She stated, slowly turning her head to look up at the Force Ghost. "I found some things within the books that I can't allow to continue, after learning the dark truth behind their nature. I need to know, Master Skywalker:...How does one sever themselves from the Force?"
He, his father and the few Jedis feared she would go through extreme measures to distance herself even further from Ben, which will inadvertently cause some serious consequences and mental toll on his mind. Even so, Luke was very much horrified that she would dare ask him something that he, himself, regretted on doing.
He stood up to his feet, his face becoming serious and stern.
"No, Rey!" He yelled, unable to control his worry. "You mustn't attempt to do so! The process is too painful for many to undergo, and you're not trained properly to perform such a feat! The strain, alone, could cause permanent injuries to your mind!"
"Damn the consequences!" Rey roared back, but her face remained staring down at the ground. She coughed into both hands, before she turned to glare up at Luke. "He keeps contacting me through the Bond Snoke forged between us! He's still trying to turn me over to the Dark Side, and give away information on where the Resistance is! To find his mother, and kill us off!"
Luke knew that that wasn't true. Yet, in her eyes, he can see that she truly believes her illogical thinking and deepest fears.
"I even read, in the Jedi Text, along with your own notes, about the origin and purpose of the Force-Bond, and how one of the Force-Bond pair can manipulate the other's emotions and feelings! Meaning, at any moment, Kylo Ren can turn me against the Resistance and use me as his tool to help further his ambitions on taking over the galaxy!"
She had told him that she's from Jakku, a junkyard planet that's practically nowhere. However, he never bothered to ask her about her life on Jakku was or how she met Han. He never thought, not even a second, that she was likely a slave that escaped what would've been her grave and death sentence of a planet.
...Just like his own father was a slave, himself, before Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan found him on Tatoonie.
And now hearing she read his notes about the Force-Bond, Luke realized his very words and writings will be the very cause as to why she doesn't see the bond she has with his nephew is pure and real, and only see it as a hindrance to fearing on "turning to the Dark Side".
He kneeled back to her level, laying both hands on her shoulders. He needs her to pay very close attention to what he has to say.
"Rey... I was wrong." He started, making her eyes widen in shock. "When I severed myself from the Force, I thought I was doing the right thing for everybody, including my own sister, and told myself that the suffering I endured in the process of severing myself from the Force was worth it. Instead, I'd endured what was basically Hell to me: I was alone, a shell of my former-self, a lost soul that was only breathing but with nothing to live for. And when I severed myself from the Force, Rey... It's a fate worse than death, that death is more decent than cutting ties with everything and everyone."
Her shock turned into irritation towards the fifty-three year-old.
"Which you did, because you felt responsible for the death of those children you were going to turn into the next Jedis! As weapons!" Rey hissed, pulling away from his grip. "And, like a coward, you turned your back on your sister, on yourfamily, because you tried to kill a man that was a frightened child, abandoned and ridiculed by his own family that should've helped him! Accepted him! Love him for who he was! Instead, you all delivered him into Snoke's grasp and had him turned into a monster!"
Luke winced at her words. They hurt, but she spoke the truth. And she was right to do so.
"Everyone now calls me 'The Last Jedi'! They've replaced you with me, as a tool! As a weapon! A sacrifice!"
She struggled to her feet, feeling weak from the lack of food she refused to eat and from pushing herself on catching from fish for hours since dawn came. Her arms crossed tightly over her chest, staring off towards the horizon
"...I should've taken his hand," she confessed. "I would still be used as a weapon, but at least I could've tried to steer him away from taking over the galaxy. Instead, I allowed my own selfish desire and hatred towards my life on Jakku to turn my back on him. To betray him and choose something else over him, like everybody else had. And now, I'm damaged. Broken, beyond repair. -She turned back to stare at Luke, both her hands out and extended.- Don't you get it, Master? Don't you see why I have to do this? Why I have to severe myself from the Force, and-?"
"Kill yourself?"
His words did more than just cut her off.
Rey bowed her head in shame, but also from exhaustion and acceptance. Her hands came to her sides, clenched up but not too tight. She had hoped he wouldn't figure out her reason for coming to Ahch-To, but apparently you can't hide anything from the dead, itself.
"...It has to be done." She stated, shivering when the wind blew against her and made her cloak wave and rise in the air. "Everything feels too broken to fix. And I know that everybody, the whole galaxy, are counting and demanding for me to rebuild the Resistance and put a stop to the First Order. But I'm-... I'm just so tired."
She had dreams that both hurt her, and yet gave her the strength to push on. From the farthest memory she can remember as a little girl on Jakku, to her rigorous training on Ajan Kloss to perfect her training, her dreams for something she views as unattainable, but hopeful to obtain to take place:
Have a home on a planet full of green, bursting full of life. To no longer scavenge the land for parts, which could end up costing her life and death to walk beside her to take her at any moment, in exchange for scraps to ration out and keep her alive for weeks to come. Feel the weight of the world off her shoulders, as she finds a purpose in her life to do her part on helping others, without being enslaved for other's ambitions.
...For love to find and embrace her, that's been denied from her for so long.
...The joy and wonder of children, who'll look to her for guidance and remind her she matters to those around her.
...To finally heal from her dark past of turmoil, abandonment and rejection.
...To finally be herself... A living being, worthy to live and be loved.
The tears finally came down. Rey smile, full of sadness and despair.
"...All I want to do, is to find someplace I belong and live the life I choose to live in. To no longer be force to serve others, and finally start living. But, in the end, all I'm being offered is a path that will be the only option for me to follow, to gain what was denied of me for so long. -Her sad-smile left her face, relaxed with a numbing, blank expression.- Which is why, Master, I ask of you to give me this one request and help me sever myself from the Force... To sever, myself, completely from the bond that's been forced upon me to Kylo Ren."
Luke only stared at her... Then, right before her eyes, he vanished.
She sneered where her master was at. Her hands clenched tight.
"Coward!" She yelled. "Why did I even think you would ever help me, a Troq?! A Nothing?! - She owned her right-hand, using the Force to lift a rock from the ground.- Go ahead and let me suffer, just like everybody else!"
Without thinking, she sent the rock forward... Hitting what remains of the Uneti Tree, crushing it from its weight and sheer force of the throw, crumbling to the ground.
Rey would've been horrified by what she did to the burnt tree, but her rage of Luke leaving her didn't make her feel anything but the burning anger growing.
Her racing heart made it a bit hard to gain control over her breathing, but her adrenaline gave her the extra boost of energy to remain standing and not collapse.
The tears continued to fall, as Rey's anger finally started to cool down and realized that she crushed what remains of the tree.
She grabbed both sides of her head, her lips quivering when she saw the damage she caused on Ahch-To, again.
'What's wrong with me?' She thought, feeling her adrenaline die down and allowed herself to fall back to her knees. 'How could I destroy the tree like that, when it did nothing to deserve it...? Why am I acting like this?!'
Her wide hazel-eyes stared down on the grass and dirt beneath her. Her hands, grabbing fists full of her hair, shook from the aftermath of using the Force and destroying what's left of the Uneti Tree in her fit of anger.
She felt the peace of letting go of her rage, and she hated feeling that. She hated feeling so tired, that she can't see straight and feel her eyes burn from the pain of exhaustion. How she's so hungry, her stomach makes her want to puke the second she takes a single bite of bread, even if it's half the size of a Porg. She hated on how thirsty she was, that she'd considered drowning herself to fill her entire stomach and lungs with water every time she takes a single step into the ocean for fish or to bathe.
And most of all: She hated on how her lungs and chest hurt so much, she would wake up from her naps and find one of her hands clenching onto the handle of her scavenging knife she keeps within her tunic and pressing it against her heart.
Acting like a reminder on what she did in the past... And how she failed to accomplish on taking her own life.
Said knife sits comfortably in its spot, awaiting to be used should she need its aid to severe something out of its place, to be used as a temporary weapon if she's left without anything to protect herself... Or, when it's time to, once again, be called for to inflict pain upon herself or to end it all.
The last time she used it, was around two months before finding Beebee-Ate, when Plutt didn't keep his word on giving her a couple extra rations if she gathered as much of the pumps and filters she could get from the Inflictor, an Imperial II-Class Star Destroyer that squatters claim as their new home, changing it at the last second that she was suppose to gather all of its pumps and filters to get the extra rations. Even when she nearly gotten herself killed by the squatters for trespassing onto their territory, Unkar gave her five portions for ten pumps and twelve filters she was able to gather before she was discovered, and refused to give her any water until the next two days.
...She ended up putting four cuts into her right-wrist, in her desperate attempt to get a few drops of liquid into her body before she chose to drink from a Happabore's watering hole late at night, even if the taste was revolting. Still, her instinct told her to do whatever it takes to get liquid. To get whatever she can eat. Anything it takes to survive and live to see another day.
...But why?
That has always been constantly on her mind. Always has her questioning, keeping her awake in the lonely nights on Jakku.
'Why do I keep going?' She pondered, staring blankly on the grass beneath her. 'I came here to die. Yet, here I am, wanting to right the wrongs I caused on Ahch-To before I go through with the plan. But, within me, something is trying to have me put it off for something. The same feeling that had kept me going, after my first attempt on my life.'
She can't find the exact answer as to how she survived that night, even though she knew that the Sitter was the one who, somehow, found out she was going to kill herself and got to her on time to keep her alive throughout the cold night. She, even, pondered to the idea that he was a Jedi, himself, but knew that that was impossible.
Even if he was a Jedi, she knew that the cut she made on herself was deep and should've had her die out from a wound that was lethal for anybody to find her on time to start treating.
A headache, without warning, came into her mind. And she knew it wasn't from the stress getting to her.
And this time, she didn't fight it when she felt his presence pushing against the barrier; he can't see her surroundings, and can't figure out where she was.
She didn't make any attempt to stand. Not even to lift her head up.
"You're wasting your time," she growled.
Standing behind her is the last person she ever want to see... And the first person she ever opened up to.
Rey didn't see he wore the mask she despised and feared, or the way he stood motionless, staring down at her kneeling form.
The silence between them irritated her, but she didn't turn to stare at him. Not yet.
"You've won," she admitted. "You brought down the Resistance, you're taking control over the republic, and are now ruling over the galaxy. Just as you wanted. - She finally forced herself to turn her head to the side, glaring daggers of hate with tired eyes at Kylo.- What reason do you have to continue pursuing us, when we're basically a prize for anybody who's willing to sell us off for credit? When we're no longer a threat to you?"
"I know where you and your little group had been hiding, Rey." He informed her, folding his arms over his chest.
Rey's eyes widened from the news. She instantly got to her feet, turning to face him.
"You're lying." She hissed.
"I never lie to you, Rey." Kylo replied, slowly stalking towards her. "I, also, know that you left Leia and her group a few days ago and are hiding where you found Luke Skywalker."
A chilly sensation trickled down her back to his words.
"And how, pray tell, would you know about that, if neither you or any First Order scouts are anywhere near our location?" She asked, slowly reaching for her knife from underneath her cloak.
"I have allies in many places, in many parts of the galaxy. One of them happened to be on the very planet you and the Resistance took refuge on, after having a friendly conversation with a rogue Resistance Member on Daxam IV that gotten the information from the Traitor."
"Don't you call him by that name!" She snarled, taking a few steps backwards when he was close enough to touch her. "And even if you do get them to talk, none of them knows where I am! Beebee-Ate, Artoo and See-Threepio had their memory banks about the map and location of the planet erased, and Chewie has a new transmitter installed onto the Falcon that can conceal and scramble its signal and transmission when contacting other vessels! General Organa will be able to resist you, and your Mind Probe! You'll never be able to find the planet!"
She truly believe that she has eluded him. That she out-vulptex the Supreme Leader.
His next remark, however, made that joy vanish.
"Not unless I force her to surrender and give me your location, once I threaten to kill off her group of thieves, smugglers, traitors and murderers."
What she said next was out of pure instinct, of hatred she harbored towards Kylo Ren... Towards herself.
"Monster." She grunted.
Again, he walked towards her and when she didn't backed away when he stood in front of her, he hunched over a bit. Even with his helmet on, he leaned in until they were eye-to-eye.
"...I am a monster," he confirmed. "Yet, despite that, I'm still following my goal on bringing order and balance to the galaxy. And while you hide like a Vexis that lives under the sand, like those cowardly Resistance, I've been keeping my word and making changes for the better. I rose above Snoke, my mother and Luke, and am leading both the First Order and galaxy to success."
"At the cost on becoming like Darth Vader, himself, by killing off those who opposes you and destroying planets?" She countered, not wanting to have him see he has her boxed in by his facts being true.
"I've become more than my grandfather was. I've much more than what Darth Vader ever was." Kylo replied. "Since the death of Snoke and I took over as the new Supreme Leader, I did what the Republic wouldn't do: Enforce order to those who continue to break the laws, and start a new era to fix what the many years of wars had caused. I overthrew the Republics, who chose to sit on their asses and do nothing, while their people suffer for their mistakes on letting the war kill off their loved ones. I initiated peace treaty discussions amongst those who once view each other as enemies, to see the errors of their ways and start anew. And yes, many blood had been spilt and some planets had been destroyed, but is all necessary to ensure the safety of innocent beings from ever to suffer by those who continue to spread the evil. - He smirked underneath his helmet.- Isn't that apparently the job that the Jedi are supposedly to be doing? Bring justice and protect the galaxy? Or, is it just to only maintain balance, when good and evil are imbalance... And, when neither is weakened by the other, to do nothing."
"Do you know what a true Jedi Knight would do right now? Nothing ."
Luke's words, when showing her why the Jedi Order had to end and how wrong their ways are, popped up in her mind. As if to show her that Kylo Ren spoke the truth.
Rey couldn't find the words to say that would prove any flaw his words brought.
Seeing her hesitate, Kylo decided now was good as any to ask her what he wanted to know for months.
"...I offered you my hand, Rey... Back on the Supremacy, all those months ago, after our battle against Snoke's Elite Praetorian Guards. I know you wanted to take it. I sensed it... Why didn't you?"
She could hear the silent meaning his question really meant.
"Why did you attempted to take my grandfather's lightsaber, and leave me?"
"Why did you abandoned me in his Throne Room, as if leaving me for dead?"
"Why did you shut me out, after my fight against Luke?"
"Why do you refuse to talk to me and close your side of the bond, every time I reach out to you?"
"...Why won't you come back to me...?"
"...Why did you choose others, over me...?"
"...Why do you reject me, when you know how important you are to me...?"
"...Why do you forsake what we share...? What we have...?"
Rey couldn't bring herself to form any more tears to shed, even when her heart cries for the pain she inflicted onto the man that hurt her... And whom she loves.
Soon, that sadness turned into anger. Pure Hatred... And it's all pointed towards him.
She grabbed for her scavenging knife, slowly pulling it out from her tunic but kept it hidden underneath her cloak.
"...You could've killed me..." Rey whispered.
Hidden behind his helmet, her words made Kylo's blood go cold and his heart would've stopped by just her words, alone. He, also, felt very troubled from the sudden change of her emotions and how her hazel-eyes, once pure of beautiful colors and held so much fire, appeared empty with nothing but sorrowful hatred. He can easily see how oh-so tired she is, and he felt angered at the clear sign of discomfort, the pain, she's in.
And he can sense that the pain and anger she has, isn't just towards him.
"When we met for the first time, on Takodana, you used Force Stasis to keep me immobile. You had your lightsaber out, and held it close to my neck." She reminded, using the hand that isn't holding her knife to pull part of the neck of her cloak aside, showing him the small-burn that his saber left on her. "You could've killed me, then. With a simple flick to the wrist, my head would roll, with no difficulty whatsoever. You had the opportunity to kill me that day, to find Beebee-Ate and get the last piece to the map. But, instead, you chose to make me fall asleep, took me away as your prisoner, strapped down in a chair and allowed your master to bridge our minds together."
She lost so much. Practically everything, and is left with a deep empty void of anguish and rejection, because of him.
She lost her previous life on Jakku, in spite of it being full with nothing but turmoil and harsh labor as a slave. She lost the false comfort that kept her going for years, ever since her parents sold her to Unkar, after he made her admit the harsh reality she locked away in the back of her mind. She was forced to leave her friends, which she knew she abandoned them, in a weak and pathetic attempt to leave those who hate her for allowing their enemy to live and not living up to their standard as a Jedi. Not living up to Luke Skywalker, himself.
And the most damning of all, he took two of her father-figures away from her and, unknowingly, gave his own mother false hope that she would decide to use her in order to get him to return to her and the Light.
"I was doing fine on my own, living numbingly but in complete solitude on Jakku, before I found Beebee-Ate and was dragged into this mess. And now, I lost everything and am left with nothing."
...Then, before he could say or do anything, she lunges, bringing out her knife.
"Rey!" He yelled, stepping back and pulling his head back to avoid the swipe of the knife. Then, before she could make another attempt to attack, he grabbed for both of her wrists into both of his own.
Her teeth are bared and she yelled right into his face, like a Tusk Cat roaring at their rival for attempting to claim their territory.
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" She screamed, leaning forward and slamming her forehead against where his jaw would be, forcing him to back away from the attack and releasing her from his grip.
With the distraction, she used the Force to summon her Lightstaff from the ship, putting away her knife back into her tunic and activating her weapon. The blue-color of her weapon, the same color as Luke, shot out from both ends, ready for battle.
Even with the mask on, she can tell that he's taken back by the sight of her weapon.
Then, from its holder, he pulled out his lightsaber
"How is it that my decision-making on letting you live and forming a Force-Bond with you, is anything but my fault?" He questioned, nonchalantly, as if she hadn't just attacked him and not about to duel with her. "From the way I see it, me finding you in the woods and sparing you should be considered a blessing to had happened into your life. Even more so, from how that disgusting Crolute would hold those unenticing small-packet that's been your food for years as ransom to encourage you throw your life away and do his bidding. But then, you would probably do just about anything in order to survive and get your on those rations. Even, if it meant continuously live in your little fantasy that your parents didn't threw you away like trash and sold you as payment for their selfishness."
With another yell of rage, Rey charged and brought down one end of her lightstaff to his face. Her cloak fell off of her, as she ripped it off of her.
Without any effort, he blocked the attack.
The two lightsabers clashed. To the both of them, when their weapons clash with one another, it could be mistaken for lightning strikes.
Rey continued to push herself to strike with both end, hoping to overwhelm him and get in a lucky hit. And because she's smaller and somewhat faster than him, while wearing lighter clothing material than him, she had the upper-hand on maneuverability.
Yet, she neglected the fact that while he's here before her and they can physically touch each other, he isn't really there and is somewhere else.
At this moment, he's in his own personal Training Room on the Finalizer in his quarters, recently was meditating in order to get through to Rey before he found himself locked in a battle with the very woman he desired to see. He isn't worried on being forced into a corner or hitting his back against the wall.
What he is worried about, is Rey hurting herself or falling, wherever she was.
He used Force Stasis on her lightstaff, freezing her weapon for a moment.
"Stop fighting this, Rey." He urged, as she struggled to regain control of her lightstaff from the Force Stasis hold. "You know that we're destined to rule the galaxy, together. To bring order, and balance to the Force. I told you: You'll stand by my side. The Force, itself, showed me the vision when we touched hands, Rey, and it's never wrong."
When she finally freed her weapon, she screamed and spun her saber, getting Kylo to block the first strike before attempting to attack at the other-side with the other end.
"I won't do it!" She proclaimed, grunting when her opponent used his left-hand to grab her hand to bring the other-end of the saber to the ground, nearly impaling his left-foot, before bringing his crossguard to keep it down with his right. He shifted himself to have his right-shoulder shoved up against her left, so his elbow can the hinge joint.
She sneered up at him, glaring at the mask that covers his entire head and face.
"I can't! I won't! -Her right-foot dug into the dirt, keeping her stance grounded and strong before she starts her attempt to break free.- I refuse to be a tool, again! I won't do it, anymore!"
Her words completely caught him off guard. He couldn't believe what he heard was right. That what she said was what she believes it to be true, when that was the farthest he ever thought her to be.
'A tool? She thinks that I offered her my hand, proposed to her to be mine, just so that I could use her as if she's just an object?'
Him being distracted allowed Rey to take back control. She pulled the end out of the ground, bringing the crossguard up with it. Then, with her left-hand reached out, she used the Force to push him back, making him hit an invisible object that she couldn't see and fall to the ground.
She went over to Kylo, who was halfway picking himself off the ground and had his crossguard out, before she used the Force, again, to push him against the invisible object, which she believes to being a wall.
Rey still can't see his face, let alone his eyes, but she made certain that he sees the raging fire she held towards him. She fought to ignore the way she's now panting for breath, the trembling of the cold of the wind now coming down with the small-rain around them and the trembling of her legs.
Her lightstaff aimed for his head, held in her right-hand. It may appear she has every intention to hurt him, kill him, with her weapon, it was only for show... Though, if she has to threaten him to make him leave her alone...
"...From the moment I was born, the very instant my parents learned of my existence within my own mother's womb, I've been used by everybody around me." She whispered, not knowing her three buns came undone and her hair now flies in the wind. "And on the day that they sold me to Plutt and I learned why they gave me away so easily, I come to realize I'll only ever be acknowledged as a tool, a pathetic weapon, whose purpose is to only serve and obey others around me until my usefulness is used up. And when that time comes, I'm discarded, replaced or abandoned. Or, when I'm not doing something that involves doing what I'm only good for, I'll be known for as 'Scavenger', 'Sand rat', 'Girl' or even the one title everyone likes to label me as and remind me what I am, 'Troq'."
With the combination of the coldness of the wind and rain, the draining feeling of exhaustion washing over her and her rage dying down in exchange for emotional numbness, she deactivated her lightstaff.
The Force pinning Kylo to the wall of his Training Room released him, but he made no move to pull away; this was the closest the two had ever been towards one another, ever since he offered her his hand on the Supremacy, and he didn't want to disrupt how physically close they are, even though they're really lightyears from each other.
He did, however, let his lightsaber deactivate and let go of it, not wanting to continue the fight between them.
It's a major struggle for him to not wrap his arms around her small, shivering form and embrace her within the warmth of his larger, strong form. To envelope her in his cape, as if to become a shield to hide her from the rest of the world, and never allow anybody to see the beautiful light within her that his darkness craves to hoard for only himself.
Rey took a step back, but her left-hand, that was once held out to focus on using the Force, laid itself on his right-shoulder.
"You wanna know why I didn't take your hand? The answer is quite simple, with a question: What would you, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, a somebody, could possibly gain from joining forces, binding yourself, to Nothing? Something that was never suppose to exist, never should've came to be and should have never been given life?"
Kylo couldn't bring himself to move, feeling completely paralyzed by the answer she gave him to why she didn't accepted his offer. And the answer to the silent questions that lingered behind the question.
...Then, to the disturbance creeping within his heart, Rey gave him a sad, teary smile.
"You are the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, the nephew of Luke Skywalker and the grandson of Darth Vader, himself. Yet, you're born a somebody. You were born with a life that many would envy, but was punished for it, because of your heritage and Snoke poisoning your mind, stripping away your childhood and influencing fear to your own family. But even after all the things you did in the past, all the horrendous, unforgiving events that occurred, you rose to being the most powerful person in the entire galaxy."
She didn't sound proud, but didn't sound disappointed or angry, either. But however easy she feels, her words brought truth.
"But what am I? I was born to nobodies, own only the rags for clothes I wear on my back, and will only deserve nothing but cruelty and judgement by everybody and everyone around me, until the day I finally give in to death. And unlike you, despite that you won't admit it or wish to acknowledge it, you still have people out in the galaxy that'll have memories of you, to mourn for you and still love you. While I may have a few friends who are closest to being family, no one will miss a scavenger of Jakku for very long and will be but a fleeting memory."
Her head lowered, then slowly took a few steps back from Kylo, who removed himself from the wall and could only stare at her.
She then laid a hand over her chest, wincing from the slightest of pressure of her hand resting against the ache in her lungs and heart.
Though, what she said next, would feel as if she finally plunged her lightsaber into Kylo Ren, Ben Solo's very heart.
"...This bond between us, Kylo. The connection that's been going on that we've been feeling towards each other... It isn't real."
He finally found his voice, forcing out once word that he could think it say.
"What?" His voice was low and dark, more so than even the modulator could make it sound like.
Through their Force-Bond, Rey can sense that her words has had a major impact towards him... And in her heart, it was hurting her just as much to be saying such blasphemy when she doesn't want to believe any of it to be true.
Sadly, she knew that it must be done.
"It's the truth, Kylo." She grunted out, forcing her head up to look him in the eye, where she knew where they'd be underneath his helmet. "Snoke was the one to form a Force-Bond between us. What we thought to be our emotions and feelings, is really his doing. He manipulated what we feel towards each other, so he could get me to come to you and look through my thoughts to find your uncle. And when I outlived my usefulness for him, have me killed. Just as he would've done to you one day, once you helped him reach his goal and gives in to fear of you one day overruling him as your power continues to grow."
He knew she was right about Snoke would one day kill him, but he wasn't in agreement with the rest to what she was saying. On how she would degrade herself as others had done in her past, and dare say what they feel for each other isn't real.
"I read the Jedi texts, Kylo. I read on about the Force-Bond and its origin, and I learned that it's alignment to the Dark Side of the Force... Invented by Darth Sidious, himself. Emperor Palpatine."
The news wasn't all new to Kylo Ren, or Ben Solo; having already read the texts with his fellow peers when still under the guidance of his uncle, before Luke tried to kill him in his sleep. Though, that didn't stop the unease trickle down his spine to hear the name of the emperor. the very person who tarnished his family name and blood, and made his grandfather suffer.
He wished, many times, that it had been him to had killed Darth Sidious, if that despicable creature had survived his grandfather's fury and wrath when he saved his son from being taken him and was living amongst them.
"Anything that was made or came from that man, shouldn't be allow to keep existing and mustn't continue to live within us or anybody else, ever again, Kylo."
And the next thing that was spoken out of her, might as well had killed Kylo Ren, and Ben Solo. And if she was his true enemy from the start and not his Sonellia, his other half that he sought and return by his side, as he seen in the vision he had when they touched hands through the Force, he would've killed her within seconds.
"You've been trained under Master Skywalker, and we both know that you have been trained to know as much of the ways and techniques that the Jedis uses. You need to free us from this curse. Kylo... Ben... You must severe the Force-Bond between us."
TBC
*:...Yeah, you should've expected me to use this kind of joke... I couldn't resist ;P
I should probably continue on with the interaction between the two, but I love to do cliffhangers on how Ben/Kylo are going to respond to Rey telling him to severe their bond, their connection, with one another and calling it a curse.
...Also, did some further research to some of the symptoms Rey would have from Silicosis... And, boy, did I find some more stuff that, totally, would mess her up even more. It'll come up in the later chapters.
I don't know when my next update will be, but I promise I'll get right on it... As soon as I get some sleep, and my work stop making us work so dang much.
R&R