His mind went blank. He heard what she said, but his mind seem to be having trouble processing what she just said to him. What she told him what he has to do.
What she said about their Force-Bond, the connection they have between them, being evil and that it wasn't real.
When he was a child, in a time before he was ten and went to go train with Luke, Ben had always been fascinated of the way his parents would interact with each other. Which includes all the times his father would purposely tease his mother to have her cheeks go red, and argue with him over something stupid. He knew, even at the young age of three, when Leia would yell, it meant Han did something bad or said something that made her mad. And whenever she hears on how his smuggling job with Chewie and/or his Uncle Lando went, Han would be given a pillow and blanket to have to sleep on their homeroom couch or, if the argument results Leia using the Force to send him flying out of the house, spend the night in the Millennium Falcon.
However, in the end, it always has his parents embracing each other. His mother resting against Han's chest, as his chin rested on top of her head... And, with both having so much love for each other and after staring into each other's gaze for a brief moment, his father would bring one of his hands to the back of her head and bring her into a passionate, loving kiss.
Being the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, made Ben's life feel empty and outcasted by those around him. As the princess of Alderaan and a politician, his mother would be gone for days, sometimes even weeks to come. And his father, a legend smuggler, with his Uncle Chewie by his side, would be gone for a couple of days, a little over a week at most, doing a job that brings him so much excitement into his life than even making any attempt to bond with his own son.
Yet, surprisingly enough, his mother feels to be around more than his own father did, despite that she works longer and through farther distance than Han. But then, either his Uncle Lando or service bots that act as nannies and caregivers, raised him than his own parents did. Sith, even Chewie helped raised him and loved him than his own father did.
And it's through Chewie's stories about his life on Kashyyyk, from the time before he became a smuggler with his father, hearing tales he had with his mate and pup that he loves with his entire being and how he still misses them to this very day, that Ben wanted to have a family of his own. To find the one who is to be his wife, who understands his pain and the loneliness in the world, and children to love and raise alongside his wife, and become a better parent, a better father, than his ever was.
The first time he looked into Rey's memories with the Mind Probe, he felt a piece of himself feeling hopeful that she would be the one he's been searching for. Even when he tossed the dream aside when he went to Snoke and trained under his rules, which included, despite it being the way of the Dark to embrace emotions and attachments, not engage any kind of relationship with others and never seek out a mate.
Living as Kylo Ren made him feel he doesn't need anything to make him feel satisfied, other than to follow the same footsteps of his grandfather. But, the instant he saw her, something inside of him change and wanted to know who this mystery girl was.
Then, when he attempted to see the map in her memories and she fought back, using the Force to see what his greatest fear was to get back at him for bringing up sensitive topics of her own, he was astonished to find she's just as lonely as he is. And, for the first time in a long time, he wanted something for himself.
He wanted to get attach to a individual, and he wants the girl that everybody had been talking about to be his. His, and his, alone.
So, of course, he informed Snoke about her powers and insisted that she can be of great use to them. And, of course, Snoke sensed he felt compassionate towards Rey and questioned about his shift of loyalty. And since Starkiller was destroyed and after learning the fall of one of their Dreadnought, rather than go into a Bacta tank to fully heal from all of his wounds, he kept the cut Rey left on his face. Showing the mark she placed on him for those who dare to look upon his face.
As if keeping a piece of her on him, a brand to show he belongs to her. Just as much as she belongs to him.
And then, the Force kept having them see each other. Just like her, he was just a baffled, puzzled and confused as to why they kept seeing one another. And, yes, he did attempted to use Jedi Mind Trick to get her to bring his uncle to him, but mostly to get her to come back to him in person.
He wouldn't dare admit that her harsh words towards him, especially when she called him a monster, did hurt him, but he was also in an agreement with her that he was a monster and had accepted that sad fact. Still, it hurts him to hear her call him as such and never learned from his side of the story on how and why he became a monster. It, also, angered him that she was taking Luke's side and believed in his lies, when she didn't know the whole story and just instantly believe he's nothing but evil incarnate.
But when the Force connected them for the fourth time and he saw her sitting in his quarters, staring numbly at what was in front of her and appeared lost and empty, he didn't need to think for even a second to sit across from her and hear what happened: Falling into the cave, seeing herself mirrored many times over, standing before a mirror, asking it to show her her parents... And then, finding nothing but her own reflection and telling him that she never felt so alone.
After hearing her story, he told her what he'd wanted to tell her for so long, since he took her to Starkiller Base and probed her mind and saw she's just as lonely as he was.
"You're not alone."
And his heart felt light and warm when she responded to his words.
"Neither are you."
And then, she slowly reached out to him, extending her right-hand to him.
He didn't know if it was possible for them to touch, but he wanted to touch her, again. And this time, without anything in his way to feel her skin. Her warmth.
He removed the glove off of his own right-hand and, slowly, reached for her hand. She seemed nervous, anxious that they were going to touch hands, but wasn't scared of him and didn't make any movement to pull back.
...Then, oh so gently, their hands, their fingers rested against each other.
She took in a deep breath and simply stared in awe at him. And, when a tear ran down her face, he knew that she finally see the truth.
And, in the process, he got to see many of her own memories... He was just as taken back by what he saw her go through, and since realized that her life was much worse than he originally thought.
Much worse than his own childhood, his life, was.
He was always alone, even when both or either of his parents would be home, but besides the one she calls Big Sister and the moments when Plutt would be there to force her to do jobs that she knew are dangerous, Rey was always alone. And after seeing a human-woman dead on the ground and crying over her form, Rey was more alone than ever. And though he stated that her parents threw her away like garbage, he saw that she wasn't garbage to her parents. She was an investment, nothing but property to sell for drinking money and a way for the two to get off that junkyard of a planet.
Snoke's training and abuse would leave Kylo with many wounds. Cuts, bruises, broken bones, sever burns, concussions and so much more that are a results of his mistakes and punishment for disobeying or even disappointing his master. Yet, while he can go to the med bay to treat his injuries, if he so chooses to when Snoke didn't lock him in his quarters for a certain amount of time, Rey was left to treat her own wounds to the best of her ability. Even though she could surrender her haul and/or ration in exchange for a couple of Bacta patches and Hydrogen Peroxide with the few doctors on Jakku, she would be left to choose to either suffer from the wounds of the wild or other scavengers who view her as weak prey to steal parts from, or starve and risk going without food that could result dying from hunger.
Speaking of hunger, though there are days where he's confined in his quarters, which meant going without food or water during the time of punishment, Ben was fed well. Rey, clearly, suffered from forced starvation and dehydration for many years. Most of which, because of the disgusting Crolute that bought her and used her as a slave would only give her just enough food and water to stay alive, but not enough to ensure her health stays strong and force her to depend on him for food that none would feed to their own pets as scraps. And because he has a knack for changing the value of scraps and parts Rey and the other scavengers would bring him, she and the others are being forced to ration out their meals and undergo serious hunger pain. And even when they do allow themselves to eat, Kylo saw what she and the others were given to eat and fear that Plutt tampered with their portion packets to get them sick and keep them weak.
But the most damning, the most unforgivable thing he saw within her memories, are the few near-deaths she experienced and the wounds she ended up receiving. Both from Unkar Plutt punishing her, to holding her own against the Dead-enders and facing against dangerous predators of Jakku. Each bruise she earned from the beating of her master and being picked on by the other slaves that would steal her haul as a child and continue to take her score before she beat them to submission, made Ben's blood boil. Each cut, bite and broken bone she earned from fighting off Nightwatcher Worms, Ripper-raptors, the Gnaw-jaws or even from the Teedo Luggabeast from chasing her before she could reach her territory, had Kylo embrace the thought on destroying the whole planet to oblivion, with or without Snoke's approval or permission to do so. But when he sees the suffering on her face, curling herself into a tight ball, taking heavy breathing that seem to slow, which almost came to a point to stopping at any moment... He blamed himself, for not being there when she needed him, whether she or him knew each other's existence.
It was then, that he saw her parents, the alcoholic-deserters that left this precious girl to perish on Jakku and got on a ship to save themselves... Yet, he didn't feel happy, sad or even angry when he saw that Plutt had ordered his men to kill her parents and bury their bodies in a pauper's grave.
While it didn't matter how he felt about them, he knew this information will shatter her... However, he can sense she may very much knew that, already.
Then, without warning, the Force showed him something. An event that neither one of them had experienced in their past. A vision that left him speechless, astonished... And happy.
He sees, what he recognized from the plants and mountains and the familiar smell in the air and the gentle coolness of the wind, to be Naboo. He sees himself standing on a balcony, over a beautiful garden that he knew belonged to his grandmother, Padmé. And, to his greatest surprise, he sees children. Five of them, giggling, laughing and playing with one another, as they ran across the grass, without a care in the world and all not having the slightest hint of fear of the cruel world.
...And, to his right and wrapped within the hold of his right-arm, resting against his shoulder, is Rey. Dressed in a dark-green dress, a Naboo-style dress, watching the children with caring, loving eyes... And, with one hand resting against her round-belly, pregnant... And he knew, that the children running through the garden, two of the four boys looking like carbon-copies of himself, the third and fourth boys looking like a mixture between him and Rey, the only girl looking like a mini-Rey and the unborn child, children within her womb, cradled within her hand and gently caressed with his left-hand, feeling a small-kick underneath her dress, are his children. His family.
Kylo couldn't believe what he was seeing was their future, and he was going to make certain that it happens, very soon.
He doesn't know if the Force was giving her a vision, too. If she's seeing what he's seeing and before he could say a word to her, his uncle intruded and cut off their connection from each other.
He felt a burning rage in his heart when their connection was caught off and almost ran for his ship to go to Rey and kill his uncle, but remembered that he doesn't know where they were and Snoke gave him strict orders to remain on the Supremacy.
It was almost as if he, somehow, knew Rey would come to them. Come to him, that very day. Because a few hours later, she did came to him in a pod-like vessel, his grandfather's lightsaber clenched in both hands.
He hated that they had to put the cuffs on her to suppress her connection with the Force, but he had to follow the order of his master if he so wishes to reclaim his faith in him and better his chance at requesting to spare her life and train her to use the Force. And, while they made their way for Snoke's Throne Room, Rey told him that she sensed the conflict within him and had seen a vision of him he won't bow to Snoke when they touched hands through the Force.
He then told her that he she'll be the one to turn, that she'll stand beside him and that he saw her parents. He never told her that he would turn her over to the Dark Side, but the unsettling, unease written on her face before the doors opened told him that she believed that's what he intends to do to her.
When they entered Snoke's Throne Room, Kylo bowed to him, showing he's still loyal to him... Until Snoke told Rey that he bridged their minds, and knew she would come to him... What was the final straw for Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, was when Snoke used the Force on Rey, keeping her in the air and used the Mind Probe to force himself into her memories, resulting the girl to scream in agony.
It took every ounce of his strength to not jump in and attack Snoke, let alone beg for his master to spare her when he made it clear that he wants her to die. He knew, from his own experiences, that any sudden attack will result being overpowered from the frail creature that's a lot stronger than he appears to be. That, and his guards will interfere and go for an all out assault until their opponent is dead or nearly dying.
So, when Snoke finally let her go, only to force her on her knees and face him, telling Kylo that this is his fate to destroy the Light and Hope of the galaxy, neglecting that he's no longer focused on Luke's lightsaber that sat beside him, Kylo finally found the opportunity to bring him down. Permanently.
The instant that he used the Force to turn the lightsaber towards Snoke and brought it across to not only cut him in half, but also go into Rey's hand, initiating the two to fight the guards, side-by-side, for the first time in his entire life, he felt free.
And it was all thanks to the woman that had became his equal, his other-half... His Sonellia.
So now, after many months of searching, overthrowing the government that did nothing but bring conflict amongst each other, issue new ways to bring peace and balance in exchange for supporters who finally see he isn't a monster and truly wants to fix the damage that's been growing for many years, he was so close to having her by his side, again. To finally speak to her, after many times of being pushed back and refusal to seek an audience with him.
Only to see his love, his Rey had suffered and was broken down by the consequences of others viewing her as their greatest weapon. Their Jedi.
And has dare tell him that what they feel for one another is fake, and that he needs to sever their bond? To forsake what they have, in an attempt to put further distance from him?
To be fair, he did, at first, believed Snoke's words that he forged a false-bond between him and Rey. However, immediately when the Force connected them after the Resistance left Crait, he had suspicions that Snoke lied. And, as the Force continued to have them see each other, even when Rey would push him back when he tries to connect with her or block him until the Force disconnects them or tires her out to the point of unconsciousness, the more Kylo is positive that Snoke didn't make a false-bond between them and that their Force-Bond is as real as the feelings they have towards each other is.
But it wasn't until the fourth month of his search for her, A few weeks after he and his knights took care of the cloning facilities, when the Force connected them to each other, again, did he fully believe that Snoke lied when he found Rey shivering on his bed. She was somewhat conscious and could likely be in her own bed or at least a cot where she's at, but seemed close to falling asleep.
She was too caught up on trying to get warm and struggling to stay awake, that she didn't pull away or said a word when he came over and laid beside her. Wrapping her within the safety and warmth of his arms. His left-hand encasing her smaller-hand to hold, as his right-arm pulled her small-form against his, her back pressed up into his chest.
It was then and there, holding her against him, burying his face into her sprawled hair, that he realized they're physically capable to touch, to hold one another, as if they weren't lightyears apart.
He felt like a complete idiot, for not realizing it, sooner. Especially, after they touched hands through the Force, itself, months ago. And, recalling his lessons with his uncle and having copies of the Jedi Texts he and his knights took with them the night they left the Jedi Temple, Kylo Ren was very shocked to learn that Force-Bond pairs shouldn't be able to touch one another through the Force.
...Unless, they're a Force-Dyad.
He walked towards Rey, who slowly backed away with each step he took towards her.
"...You believe that our bond is a curse?"
"Why else would the Force continue to have us see each other, by its own choice, when you're not always trying to reach out for me?" She replied, almost slipping on the uneven, wet ground but righted her footing and continued to walk backwards. "And like I said, Snoke forged the bond between us and the only way to stop it is if you sever it."
Kylo almost used the Force to freeze her in her step or to pull her towards him, but controlled himself to not do so. He didn't want to risk scaring her than he already was, by slowly walking towards her, but he needed to get close to her. He needed Rey to hear what he had to say.
"And what makes you think I wish to sever it?" He asked.
Rey partially expected him to be reluctant, due to the effect of the Force-Bond, though a part of her believe that he, without the influence of the Bond, truly didn't want to cut the connection between them. But then, once again, her delusional thinking believes that the Bond could be trying to block her sense of thinking and doesn't want him to sever their Force-Bond.
She pushed aside her feelings, not wanting him to know how much this was hurting her.
"You should be able to see that this isn't us," she urged. "Our feelings are not our own, it doesn't feel right and is wro-" *Gasp!*
Without bothering to pay attention, her back hits against the part of the ground raised, which holds the Uneti Tree a bit high.
As soon as she stopped, appearing to stop right at the wall of his Training Room, Kylo reached with his left-hand and gently grasped her right-shoulder, right over the scar she gained from fighting with one of Snoke's guards.
The scar that appear to be two hands, reaching out for one another... Like how he reached out to Rey, when he offered her his hand, five months ago. And, still, desperately reaches out for her.
His thumb gently stroke against the skin, silently scolding himself for wearing gloves and being unable to feel the smoothness of her skin. He can feel the slight bump and gap of her scar, but he wish to feel the warmth of her skin, again.
Rey flinched from the contact.
"Wh-...? What are you doing?"
Rather than answer her question, with both hands, Kylo grabs for both sides of his helmet and removes it, revealing his face to her.
Unlike her, he appeared to be well fed and has a healthy glow in his skin, even if he wears that black-suit and helmet all the time and hadn't gone to a planet and bathe in the sun. His hair seemed to grew a bit, but still has the wildness of curls. The bags under his eyes seemed a lot better, but they also showed he currently has some trouble sleeping, as if he developed insomnia for a good while.
And, of course, she saw his eyes. So many emotions held within his brown-iris', that Rey could barely make out the difference between rage, despair... Joy...? And lo-...
Her breathing quivered when he tossed his helmet to the ground and removed the glove of his right-hand, before letting it hover over her left-cheek. She was so lost from the sudden touch, his eyes staring into her own, that she completely forgotten her lightstaff had now slipped out of her grasp and landed on the ground.
She can feel her heart picking up, causing a few pulsing aches in her lungs to trigger, but not enough to get her to cough.
With his left-hand, he gently, but firmly grasped her right hand and slowly, not breaking eye-contact with her, brought it up... And, with her palm opened, laid it over his tunic. Right where his own beating, racing heart is.
It was going at a fast pace. Almost as fast as her own, which picked up a few extra beat when he brought her hand to his chest.
Rey's face turned a bit red from the sudden feeling of his heart, as the hand on her cheek finally rested against her skin. Nobody had ever gotten this close to her, unless it's to beat her, slap her, or shove her to the ground. After Mariya died, every memory of being hugged, cherished and comforted had been erased and been replaced by the abuse of Unkar Plutt and others.
But, never once, had there been anybody, loved one or enemy, has them have her feel what their heart is feeling, how it races and beats at an unexplainable pace.
Yet, Rey knew what Kylo Ren's heart is feeling. For its the same reason why her own heart is racing like mad.
Before she know it, he slowly leaned in and rested his forehead against her own. His eyes remained locked with hers.
"Does this feel wrong to you, Rey?" He whispered, gently stroking his thumb over her cheek.
Rey felt trapped, stuck between a hard-place and the very person that had both ruined her life, and yet had also pushed her to experience the joy of friendships she made and made her feel human. No matter how short it had lasted, or may have lasted.
His gaze soften when he sees her close her eyes and lower her head, watching the small-beads of tears trailing down her face, as he wiped one of them away with his thumb.
Kylo Ren knew she feels the same way as he does. He sense it through their Bond. She can't hide what she truly feels about him. About their Bond.
He knows that she's lying, because he can tell she's fighting what she feels and is in conflict, out of fear, with what's been going on. She's so confused, so tired and hungry.
The weight of the galaxy is too heavy for her to endure, to carry. And Kylo won't stand for this. Not anymore, and especially once he finds her and has her by his side.
Before she could even say anything and when she opened her eyes, she soon found herself being pulled up against Kylo's large, strong form...
...
...
...And his lips pressed against her own... Kissing her!
She's had been kissed by others, before, but never on the lips. Mostly, on the forehead or on the cheek, by Mariya when praising or telling her "little sister" how much she loves her. Very rarely, her mother or father would kiss her on the forehead, but there was no love or comfort and it was always quick and meaningless. Heck, even the Sitter, whenever Rey would come to visit him and give him some Tuanulberries and Nightbloomers she was able to find, would kiss her forehead to show his appreciation for her gifts and, in his silent message, pleased that she's still alive.
But never, in her entire life, had she ever been kissed in a way that would display of intimate affection toward a lover. Let alone, on the lips.
And now, here she was, having her first kiss be taken by the very man that haunts her, yet completes her. Even if a part of her sees it as wrong.
Kylo turned his head, having it slant to better deepen the kiss. His eyes closed, a low-moan left his throat, from the feeling of her soft lips meeting his own.
Oh, how he had dreamt this moment. To know the feeling of her lips, the taste of her skin that makes him yearn for her love, as if he was a thirsty man that finally found water.
Of course, in the past, Ben had kissed a few girls on Chandrila. They would all say that they like him, and would ask if they could kiss him. Though, they were meaningless kisses, most of which being results of temporary crushes before they move on to the next cute or handsome guy they see and completely forget about him, all together. He won't lie, it did hurt him a bit when they got over him, so quickly. Yet, he will admit that none of the kisses felt right to him and knew he wouldn't be happy with any of them if they did try to be in a relationship with him.
While under Snoke's care, he was too focused on perfecting his training than getting in a relationship. Let alone, in any hurry to kiss another individual that makes his skin crawl or doesn't mean anything to him.
But, after meeting Rey and after Crait, all he ever thinks about is what kissing her would feel. To physically tell her, physically show her, that he loves her. That she's his one and only, and nobody else will own his very heart and soul but her.
And now, holding her against his form, ignoring the droplets of rain tapping against his face as he kisses her, as if she's his only source of air, has his soul singing.
And, through their Bond, he can feel the Force humming in approval. That this is what is suppose to happen between them.
Rey let out a small-whimper, patting her hand on his chest, signaling she needs air.
Reluctantly, Kylo pulled away from her, slightly and softly panting from the kiss he shared with her.
...He then noticed her breathing was heavy and rough, as if she held her breath underwater for so long or ran for so long and is struggling to get air back into her lungs.
He, also, noticed her cheeks are more flushed than they were moments ago and it wasn't just because of the heated moment between them, the feeling of embarrassment for allowing him to be her first kiss or even the lack of oxygen from kissing for over twenty seconds.
Her appearance started to go fuzzy, a warning that she was going to go unconscious and their connection is going to get cut off.
"Rey?!" He cried, grabbing for both of her shoulders to keep her up when he saw her knees buckling.
She hunched over, grabbing both her knees, as she gave in to the scratchy, build up coughing. She took in big gasps of air, as her coughing became hoarse and rough. It felt as if he throat was closing in on herself, and it was getting hotter than it was freezing, moments ago. Her beating, racing heart thumped heavily against her eardrums, unable to hear Kylo's voice, triggering her to panic and struggle to get air into her lungs and get her coughing under control.
Kylo slowly helped her sit down, putting her head between her knees to help open her airway.
"Rey, what's going on?! Rey!"
He laid a hand on her back, focused through their Bond to figure out what was going on with her... Only to pull his hand back and grasp his neck with his left-hand, finding it had suddenly gotten hard to breathe.
He, also, felt his chest tightening up, feeling sore and a stabbing sensation coursing throughout his entire lungs.
Kylo then saw her figure beginning to fade, and he panicked.
"Rey!" He grunted, reaching with his right-hand to touch her... Only for his hand to go right through her.
The connection between them was shutting down, and he's being pulled away from his Sonellia.
As the last of her started to vanish, he saw her coughing into her hands... And, when she pulled her hands back, he saw the dark-brown phlegm.
Rey turned to him, gasping to get her breathing under control.
"...This needs to end, Kylo." She whispered, a small-smile appearing on her face. "It's like you said... It's time to let all things die..."
Her figure disappeared before Kylo's eyes. He remained frozen in place.
Those words. Those exact words he said to her, on the Supremacy, haunts him and made every nerve in his body scream for him to go to her. To stop wasting time holding himself in his quarters, get to her and have her in his arms, now.
When the tightening in his chest eased up and his breathing returning to normal, he got to his feet and stomped out of his Training Room and to the doors for the Turbolift, leaving his helmet behind, yet used the Force to call for his crossguard lightsaber to his hand and placed it at his side.
As he entered the Turbolift, he contact his knights with telepathy.
[What's the ETA to Sarvchi?] -Kylo
Vicrul was the first to answer.
[Two hours, Kylo. We're three quarts there, and don't know we're on to them.] Vicrul
Ap'lek was the next to speak through the telepathy contact.
[Is something wrong, Kylo?] -Ap'lek
The thirty year-old didn't want to share personal issues with others, but his knights are loyal to a T and whatever matters to him, matters to them, as well.
[I was able to reach to Rey through the Force... I fear something is wrong with her, both physically and mentally. She's convinced that our feelings for each other is an illusion, caused by Snoke's lies and reading the Jedi Texts that Luke Skywalker had written his notes on the topic about Force-Bond and Force-Dyad, and had requested that I sever our Bond.] - Kylo
He didn't need to feel through the telepathic connection that his knights, his brothers were just as stunned and worried for Rey.
[We'll figure out where she's hiding, Kylo. We promise.] -Trudgen
[I'll try and see if we can get the ship to move faster on getting us to Sarvchi sooner, but we can't allow the Resistance to pick up on us and risk damaging their ship that may have information to where her location is. Let alone, warn your love of our arrival and to either remain where she is, or take off to another planet that we don't know about.] -Vicrul
Kylo knew he can always rely on his men, even in the time of great stress.
[I'm heading for the Bridge. Prepare yourselves.] -Kylo
[I'll inform our medical staff to be on standy by. If your Sonellia is physically damaged as you said she is, we best get her treated, as soon as you have her.] -Kuruk
Kylo thanked the Maker for having one of his knights think ahead to have the medical staff be ready to treat Rey, when his brain is full speed of a complete panic for Rey.
As he exited the Turbolift, he immediately had for the Bridge.
[Who's keeping an eye on Hux?] -Kylo
[I do.] -Cardo
[Have him brought up to the Bridge. He'll be working underneath Allegiant General Pryde's orders and be on constant watch, while we have a deep 'discussion' with the Resistance.] -Kylo
[Already hauling his whining ass over to the Bridge.] -Cardo
[Good.] -Kylo
He disconnected his telepathic connection with his knights, ending the silent orders he gave them, as he walked through the door and entered the Bridge.
"Have they been alerted of our approach?" He asked Pryde, storming over to stand with him and Vicrul.
"None, so far." Pryde answered, keeping his eyes focused on front of them.
"Bazine is keeping watch over the Resistance, and will send us an emergency message if they appear to be leaving Sarvchi." Vicrul informed Kylo, nodding to his leader.
"Excellent." He sighed out, taking steady breaths to calm his racing heart. "...It's time we end this." 'And find Rey, and bring her home... Back to me.'
In the pit of his stomach, the back of his mind and the cold clutches of fear, he couldn't shake off the feeling that something is going to happen... And through their Bond, he felt Death was standing right beside Rey... Ready to take her away from him.
Meanwhile, on Ahch-To...
"We told you not to overdo it, Peanut! You promised us that you would make more of an effort to take it easy!"
Rey winced at the holo-image of Finn scolding her when Chewie told him and the others that the Lanais found her unconscious near the Uneti Tree, after she didn't return to the village with the fish fifteen minutes after Chyru went to tell her to come back.
She didn't know how long she was unconscious for, but according to Chewie, she was only out for nearly an hour. Though, to her, it felt like she was asleep for weeks, from how her limbs felt like lead and had to use all of her strength to not collapse.
But, of course, the Wookiee knew she was in no condition to walk and, as if she was a child, carried her in his large, hairy arms, and took her to rest and warm up in the Falcon.
And if that wasn't bad enough, after she apparently dozed off for a few minutes, Finn decided to contact them, today, to see how they were doing and Chewie had told them about the Lanais finding her unconscious in the small-drizzle.
"I knew we should've went with you and Chewie! Seriously, Rey, you need to take better care of yourself and you need us to be there for you!"
The nineteen year-old rolled her eyes at her brother-figure getting overdramatic over nothing. She truly does appreciate him caring for her well-being, but she really needs him to not be a kriffing nerf-herder and focus on what he needs to be doing.
"Finn, relax. There's no need to have a nerf." Rose, from the background and coming to stand beside her boyfriend, replied. "You're just trying to find an excuse for us to leave the group, and play mother hen on Rey. Do you want me to stun you with my electro-shock prod, again, for 'abandoning ship'?"
To her threat, she brought out her hand-held device and turned it on, startling Finn from the electricity and still having uncomfortable flashback of being paralyzed and how he couldn't feel his mouth.
"Force, Rose! Do you have to bring that out?!"
Rey chuckled at the two, shaking her head at the two's interaction and Rose teasing her boyfriend by getting under his skin from bringing out her electro-shock prod.
"At least I can count on Rose to my side." She said, raising her right-hand in the air and engaging Rose to do the same, both initiating to hi-five through the screen and giggling at Finn telling Rey to not encourage his girlfriend's childish antics.
"But, seriously, Rey. You need to stop pushing yourself, and need to keep your strength up." Finn continued, finally calming down and getting serious, again. "If you're going to get treated for your Silicosis, you need to get your body to be healthy enough for the surgeries and treatments."
Rey's smile left a soon as he brought up her disease, and the surgeries and treatmensshe knew she won't be gaining from anybody. Even if Maz has trusted friends and Dr. Kalonia was to be in charge of leading her surgery and prescribing what she needs to do when recovering, she knew that it won't completely cure her of the disease or reverse the damages done to her health.
At least, with whatever technology and equipment they'll be using on her, while many are still on the prowl for her to turn in for credits to the First Order and will suspect anybody getting their hands on any hi-tech medical device of hiding her.
...That, and she hadn't told any of them that she won't be coming back. That her stay on Ahch-To will be... Permanent.
She sighed deeply, her gaze down to the ground, as she landed on both her hands to keep herself steady.
"Don't worry, Rey. Once we regroup on Takodana and get ourselves settled in Maz's Castle, everything will be okay." Rose reassured, as she nudged an elbow harshly against Finn's side. "And her, once you're better, we can watch you and Poe race and see whose the best pilot in our group. Won't that be fun? I have my credits placed on you, cause I know you'll be the one to kick him off his high Fathier."
"Rose! We all agreed that we wouldn't bet! Also, I know for a fact that you're betting with my credits!"Finn exclaimed.
The smaller-female beamed up at her boyfriend, smug of her action.
"And when she does win, we'll have more credits to know what to do with. And when that happens, I won't have you admit how right I was."
Rey watches the two lovebirds having a lovely chat with each other, with Rose enjoying herself on getting her boyfriend worked up while Finn failed to find an argument to make her see reason and finally submitted to her by hitting his own tongue.
She knew those two are going to be completely fine and do well on their own, without her being a part of their lives. As will Poe, Kaydel, Beebee, Connix, Snap, Dr. Kalonia, Artoo, See-Threepio...
...The Resistance... Maz... Chewie...
...Leia Organa...
She knows, without a shroud of a doubt that everybody will be fine without her... Even Kylo Ren, whether he admits it or not.
"Peanut? Hey!" Finn's voice pulled her from her train of thought, seeing the concern look on his face. "You zoned out on us. Are you tired?"
As if he had to ask; even if she gets eight hours of shut-eye or more, her body still feels as though she hasn't slept in months and her body is now made of lead.
She no longer has the energy to hide how tired, how burnt out she is. And, honestly, she just wants to go curl up into a ball and be left alone.
"...Sorry, you guys." She whispered. "It's been a very stressful day. And, because I've been helping the Lanais with their chores and gathering materials to welcome back their husbands from sailing for trades, my mind had been wondering off."
Just as she expected, Finn and Rose bought her story.
"In that case, you should get some rest, Peanut." Finn suggested, looking a bit relieved and immediately playing the role as her brother. "You more than earned yourself some peaceful sleeps."
"That, and with you helping the Lanais to throw a party to welcome back their mates, you should get some shut-eye if you wanna join in on the fun!" Rose added, beaming at her. "Artoo told us on how much fun he and Chewie had, that we're so jealous that you get to enjoy the party!"
Rey smiled tiredly at the older-girl.
"It's not a party, Rose." She explained. "We're simply welcoming back the men from their travels, and bringing in goods for their wives."
Rose, with her smirking smile, saw it completely different.
"Girl, if there's music, bright light and food, then it's a party!" She stated, before pointing a finger at the younger-girl and wagged it in front of her. "And you need to go out, and enjoy yourself! So, you go head on to bed, get some shut-eye and, tomorrow, you call us and tell us on how much fun you had."
Clearly, there was just no room for argument, let alone refusing, to whatever Rose has a say to the conversation and no one, human, alien, Resistance, First Order, Sith Lord, or even Jedi will have a say in the matter.
Rey knew Finn really has his work cutout for him, as soon as he and Rose became an item... And she was more than pleased to have Rose Tico as her brother-figure's girlfriend, and future wife.
And, since Finn practically adopted Rey as his sister, that basically made them future sister-in-laws.
"I will, Rose." She assured. "Even if I wasn't going to go to sleep, Chewie would probably wrap me in the thickest blanket he has and force me to take a cat nap so I don't end up blacking out during the festivity. Apparently, this celebration is going to be special, because it's around the time their children will hatch from their eggs and swim to the surface to live on land with their parents."
"Aww! That's sounds amazing!" Rose gushed, while Finn looked confused.
"They hatch from eggs? And what do you mean by 'swim to the surface'? Are they some kind of fish people, that can breathe on land?"
"Apparently, so. Turns out, while they live on land, the Lanais are born from eggs and their eggs are placed in a small-hole, where they stay underwater for seven years until they hatch and swim up the surface* when they fully develop."
"...Huh... Well, hope you enjoy yourself, Peanut. And, please, don't overdo it."
Rey nodded her head at the holo-image of Finn.
"I will. You guys take care. Also, if something comes up, do alert Chewie and I, immediately, and we'll head for your location."
Rose smirked at Rey's request.
"Like we're gonna need you, for something that's not going to likely happen. Unless the band of idiots, somehow, gets us caught by the First Order."
The twenty-four year-old woman didn't realize, that the first part of her sentence had made a painful impact on Rey. She knew it was meant to be partially a joke, but it also acted as a reminder to why she left them and having to rub in her face that she isn't needed. Let alone, missed by the Resistance, besides her small-group of friends.
"Y-Yeah." She slightly stuttered, forcing a few laughing sound the best she could. "You're right. You guys don't need me." '...You never needed me. Not in the beginning, and definitely not in the end, either.'
"Hey, Finn! Rose! We need your help, here!" Connix's voice called out, having both Finn and Rose to look over their shoulders.
"We're coming!" Rose called back, then turned to Rey. "Gotta go, Rey! But, hey! We'll call you, sometime tomorrow! You go sleep, and enjoy yourself. Okay? Love you!"
Rose went off running, leaving Finn alone to stare up at his sister-figure.
"...You're going to be okay, Rey." He said, being serious and completely certain with his choice of words. "You're going to get better and, once we get our hands on that Star Destroyer and we hide on Takodana to come up with a plan, we'll defeat Kylo Ren and the First Order. And when it's finally over, everyone will stop viewing you as the problem and we can live the rest of our lives in peace! I just know it!"
She's smiling on the outside, but on the inside, Rey is being torn.
She wanted to remember her brother-figure as a survivor, like herself. A great friend, full of hope for a future, and be there for others when things go bad.
Yet, in the possible last moment she'll have with Finn, she sees that he's lying to himself in believing in such a fantasy that's impossible. Believing that everybody will be all loving, caring friends to her, again, when the fighting is over.
...That she was going to come back to him, Rose and the others.
She simply forced a smile on her face, as she had her hand hovered over the button to end the transmission between them.
"I love you, Finn... And always remember: May the Force be with you, and everyone else, always."
Her hand hit the button as soon as she finished her final message to him, not wanting to hear what he had to say when she wants to be left alone.
He eyes stayed on the hand on the button, he breathing quivering.
She so very much wanted to be with her friends. To live the rest of her time in peace.
...To be able to embrace the fantasy of her and Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, to stand side-by-side... To have accepted his hand.
But, alas, she knows such a dream is so far out of reach. And because of that sad truth of reality, all she could do is grasp on to what little possible reality she has control over, before she finally has to stare it dead in the eye and make the decision.
And, as she pulls away from the monitor and starts to head for the bunk beds to sleep, her right-hand subconsciously reaches for her scavenging knife, pressing it against her chest. Where it still cries for her Force-Bond.
...Her Force-Dyad.
'Maker, please. Give me the strength to keep going. If not much, then at least for one more day. For however many tomorrows are possible for me to live in, until I do m what I must... But, if you can, please give me some aspect of a sign on which path I must follow, if I'm able to fix ask if this. Even if it ends up being death by my hands, or from the disease inside of me to finally claim me, please help me. For once, give me an answer!'
TBC
*: To me, Lanais look to be a cross between bird and fish/amphibian creature. So, I like to think that their birth is like how tadpoles stay underwater until they develop fully and swim to the surface, but remain in eggs. Also, an idea from the Christmas Special of How to Train Your Dragon, when dragons would roll their eggs into the water before they hatch.
R&R