Nighttime: Ahch-To...
Since she never gotten the chance to see how it starts, for she was with Luke when he was teaching her the second lesson, she felt a bit out of place. Luckily, Chewie is by her side to help her enjoy the festivities.
The males, the Visitors as Luke called them before he made up that they're raiders that came to plunder the village, reacted as their mates did when they saw Rey and Chewie. And, of course, they greeted and welcomed her as if she had always been with them... And, under hushed tones, their mates had informed them on why she came back to their planet.
As soon as Chewie got her to the village, when the twin suns were halfway over the ocean, the female-Lanais took her towards a leather-hut and proceeded to get her ready for the festival. Of course, meant doing her hair in seaweed-like style hair-braids and adding a few white-flowers into the mixture. Then, to make her feel more welcomed as their guests and a to show their gratitude for helping them out, placed two-sets of shell-made necklaces around her neck.
And, for the finishing touch, tied a dark-green/ocean-blue turban-like silk around her head.
Chewie, who had many of his fur braided by the Lanais, mostly his arms and head, and was also given a few necklaces of weaved leather and flowers, commented on how the Lanais made her very beautiful.
Rey blushed at the compliment. Nobody had ever given her a compliment of her physical appearance, other than Mariya, a few of the other female scavengers that she would have a few chats, and once by the Sitter.
As soon as she took her spot next to Chewie and gotten comfortable, the Lanais commence the celebration to begin.
A few of the males got out the Wharlithan horns and Gnarlgourd drums, making a perfect star of a rhythm beat to harmonize, while many of the females brought out Nightkelp flails and twirled them in the air.
Chewie grumbled in satisfaction and roared into the music, clapping his paws together with the beat.
Rey, only to had heard Ahch-To music only once, but didn't get to hear much of it when she stormed off when Luke lied to her about there being a raid, found to enjoy their music. With a smile and a small-giggle, she clapped alongside the Wookie.
The fishes she and/or Lanais caught are left hanging over the massive bonfire on spears and when they fished, some of the Lanais bright them on clay-plates for her and Chewie. As expected, Chewie dug in with gusto.
The nineteen year-old, though, merely picked at it, grimacing from her stomach growling, both begging for food and pleading for her to not eat. But, with Chewie staring at her and having a clear look that told her to eat, she forced herself to eat a few pieces of fish.
Of course, as they were warned by Chewie, when he told them the symptoms that she's suffering from her Silicosis, the food rubbing against her lungs irritated them to make her cough. Sometimes, they ended up having her cough the dark-brown phlegm into her palm. Other times, cough for a good while that leaves her panting a bit fast and need to catch her breath before she focuses on the party in front of her.
When Chewie saw her shivered, he brought out her now dry cloak and wrapped it over her small, cold form. And, before she could thank him, pulled her against his large, furry body to give her extra warmth. That, and to cuddle her and get her to laugh at how his fur tickles her cheeks.
As they continued to celebrate, a couple of Lanais tried to get Rey involved to dance with them or be given a Nightkelp flail to twirl in the air with the other females. She did made an attempt to dance to a few songs, but she never knew how to dance in her life and, when she tried to move like the Lanais, would always end up needing to stop and catch her breath, then would head back to the leather-hut to sit with Chewie, again.
The party continued for hours and Rey, despite being tired and dealing with the aches in her body, found herself enjoying herself, for the first time in so long. And Chewie, seeing she was finally letting herself to be happy and appears to be much more comfortable around others, purred in satisfaction and allowed himself to be pulled by a female-Lanai to go dance with the others.
It wasn't until their moon rose near their heads, that the Lanais finally stopped dancing and playing their music.
For it was time for the second half of the celebration to start, when a few of the Caretakers called out for the villagers to follow them.
Curious as to where they were going, Rey slowly got to her feet and followed the two clearly excited, gittering female-Lanais that had grabbed for both of her hands and pulled her towards the front, while Chewie following from behind.
They walked a good ten minutes from the village, when Rey finds themselves treading on a long sandy beach that leads thirty feet from the island and towards what appears to be a blue hole.
The two Lanais that called out to the village all shouted with anticipation. To Rey's best guess, along with seeing everybody quieting down and gathering in a curve on the bank, something amazing is happening.
...Then, a few minutes on waiting, something finally happened.
...A small, squealing creature, breached out from the water.
To many, it would look like a disfigured fish, but to Rey and Chewie, they knew instantly that it's a baby-Lanai.
The whole village cheered at the sight of the baby. Some made gesturing motions, signaling the squealing baby to come to them.
Seeming to understand and hearing the similar sound they made like it, except more lower, the baby wiggled and clumsily swam for the shore.
...Then, behind it, another baby popped out of the water. Then, another. And, another. And, another.
Soon, each baby that sprung from the water and swam towards the Lanais, another or two more would pop out and follow. Soon, a total of sixteen babies are heading for them.
The first baby that finally reached the shore, it crawled for one couple that made croaking-like sounds, while the other couple chirped in glee for the mates. To Rey's best guess, they must be the little one's parents, as they came to the baby and the mother, with a cloth in hand, covered the baby's small-body with it and held it to her chest.
She didn't noticed that tears formed in her eyes, let alone that she was crying, until Chewie wiped a tear away with his and pulled her to lean into his side. The two continued to watch the babies be welcomed by the village, and be reunited with their parents.
Mothers crooned with deep emotion, gently nuzzling their soft-noses against their babies' little head or cheeks, as fathers let out wobbled croaking sounds, cheering with other males that they're now fathers and complete joy that their children are here with them.
When the last baby finally came to shore and was embraced by her parents, the Lanais began to head back for the village, to pick out names and welcome their newborn babies into their village.
Chewie walked on ahead, a bit eager to return to their dinner, as Rey slowly followed from the very end. She couldn't help but be mesmerized by the gurgling, whimpering baby-Lanais, as their mothers and/or fathers held them in their arms, gently coaxing them to settle.
The sight of seeing the happy, content face of the Lanais made her very happy to have come and witnessed something so precious and magical... Yet, at the same time, it made her heart clench. Both from the painful reminder that her own parents abandoned her and had never wanted her in the first place... That, and to the reality that she'll never get the chance to experience the joy of motherhood like many will get to have in their lives.
...In the back of her mind, she had thought about what would it be like, if she did ended up having a family of her own... With Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, as their father.
She finds herself chasing a giggling, energetic two year-old boy, with dark-brown hair that many would mistaken for being full-black, pale-skin and dark-brown eyes. A complete copy of his father, but has a smile full of hope and heart with so much love for all life.
She laughed with the child, her arms out and ready to catch him and pull him into her hold. And, when she quickly went down on her knees, she succeeded on her catch and proceed to kiss him on his cheeks and neck, earning cheerful, innocent laughter.
She was so focused on hearing more of her son's laughter, she didn't notice a figure coming for the two until she finds herself being held in the arms of the one man that makes her soul sing and body to instantly slack into pure trust of her captor to guard and protect her, the boy... And, with one of his hands resting over her six month belly, their unborn baby.
Ben Solo, no longer carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and allowing himself to be happy, beamed down at his three victims. The most precious, important treasures he holds dearly to his heart that gives his life meaning.
The only ones to give him any meaning to keep living, at all.
He nuzzles his cheek against Rey's, engulfing both her and their son into his large form, as he leaned in to kiss the boy on the forehead.
Then, after being released by his parents, the little boy took off to chase a small-bug, giggling with each step he took and tried to catch the small-creature.
Neither of his parents were worried of him wondering off, as they knew his "uncles" are close by and will keep an eye on him.
Pulling her closer, Ben rested his chin over her right-shoulder, on her collarbone. Rey, content and safe within his hold, smiled softly at the relaxed, calmness written on his face, as the hand on her pregnant belly gently glided over her shirt, as if comforting the unborn life within her.
"You made me the happiest man in the entire galaxy, Rey." He whispered, tilting his head to the left to rest his cheek against her own.
Rey raised a hand to touch the other-side of his face, gently stroking her fingers over the scar she placed on him. Her smile remained, as her eyes appeared a bit misty.
"You made my life feel whole and complete, Ben. And for that, my love for you will never wither away and die." She replied, slowly leaning in and pressing a light-kiss on his lips.
Rey stopped in her tracks. Her heart slightly picked up, which made the soreness in her chest pulse and wince.
The cool, night air picked up, making her shiver and pull her cloak closer to her small-form to prevent it from raising in the air.
She continued to move forward, hoping to catch up with the Lanais... When, from within her mind, she felt something calling to her.
...She knew this call... She can never forget this call.
And, as if she was in a trance, she walked off the trail and had for the direction for the very place that made her see the truth... And suffer from the consequences of seeing the truth.
The wind picked up, as if it was trying to make her turn back by the force of its strength and tempt her to go seek the warmth of Chewie and/or the Millennium Falcon, but Rey pressed on.
She won't steer away from the call that continues to beckon her for the source. The very call that made Luke tremble, and made her feel alone when it didn't show her what she asked of it to show her her parents.
Rather than head for the hole, since she learned that it's a cave and the water was freezing cold when she fell through, she went for the way she came out the cave, which was a hole hidden near the beach. She knew that Chewie would worry, but swore to herself that it'll be quick. Hopefully, this next visit with the Mirror Cave will be just as fast as her last visit.
She eased her way through the gap of the hole and soon, Rey finds herself within the cave, just as dark, wet and cold as she remembered it would be.
The call in her head slowly died down as she had for the same wak that caught her attention... Then, halfway towards the wall, walking next to the water, her body froze and the hairs on the back of her neck rose.
Instantly, her anger came back and she turned, staring at the Force-Ghost of Luke Skywalker.
"I still can't believe how you just came here, so casually and without any hesitation." He commented, looking around the came.
She glared at him.
"And I can't believe that you came here, since you were so scared of it." She replied, her tone harsh. "Kylo Ren caught me in my vulnerable state, after you chose to leave me alone, by the way. So, now, he knows just how much weaker I've became."
The fifty-three year-old man turned to her, not in the least surprised by the news. Yet, she can see in his eyes of his concern for her, though the nineteen year-old didn't find it very comforting when she knew it was out of pity.
Luke let out a deep sigh, as he walked towards her.
"Rey, please, hear me out." He requested. "I know you may think that severing the Force-Bond with Ben is the right choice, but it's not."
Rey opened her mouth, about to make a response, when Luke held up a hand to her.
"Let me explain, and then I'll let you speak what you believe is right."
She really wanted to ignore his request, but as always, she listens to what another tells or ask of her to do. And so, she allows him to speak.
Relieved, Luke was quick to explain.
"In order for one to sever themselves from their Force-Bond, is to sever themself from the Force, itself. And to do this, is to use the Sever Force."
This was definitely new information for her, if the confused but curious expression on her face didn't became so obvious.
"'Sever Force'? I never heard anything like that, and they're nothing in the Jedi Texts doesn't have any information about the Sever Force." She stated, wondering if she simply missed it in her reading when learning about the Force-Bond.
Luke nodded his head, confirming that she was right and didn't miss anything.
"Yes, and you wouldn't be able to find it in the texts, for I removed the pages that spoke about the Sever Bond, after I performed it and didn't want to be reminded on what I did." He revealed to her. "The technique is a very powerful weapon for a Jedi, and is alignment with the Light Side of the Force. However, Rey, it's very dangerous and brings pain to whoever the Sever Bond is used on. You see, the technique blinds your enemy to the Force with a Wall of Light, rendering them unable to use Jedi powers. It is difficult, and it is the most devastating attack possible using the powers of the Light Side. For blocking a Jedi from the Force, even a Dark Jedi, is a terrible thing."
Rey stared at him, listening to his very words.
"Yet, you succeeded on performing the task. You didn't show any kind of remorse for your actions. Why should the results of using the Sever Bond be something to be concern about, let alone mourn over, when something that can stop a great threat from using the Force should be viewed as a very helpful ability to save the lives of others?"
Luke gave her a look that she can tell was disappointment to what she said.
"Because, I learned, through experience, that the Sever Bond isn't as I or the other Jedis that used the Sever Bond on themselves believed it to be." He explained. "While it was intended to be an attack with irreversible consequences, apparently severing an individual's Force connection isn't permanent. And when the affected being had the Force restored to them, it returns at a painful and sudden rush of feelings, as the Force immediately allowes the individual to sense everything around them at once."
Rey felt like Luke just used the Force Choke on her when she heard the shocking information and very high reason to why he didn't tell her, let alone shown her, earlier today, why he refused to help her sever her bond with Kylo Ren.
And, remembering Luke showing and teaching her on how the Force made everything and all life are connected to the Force from within, was even more evident to his claim on how nobody can cut themself off entirely from the Force.
But, to her dismay, it also told her that even if she did sever herself from the Force, it's likely that her connection with Kylo wouldn't be destroyed and as soon as she's reconnected with the Force, he'll be able to sense it and the continuous game of Cat and Mouse will comense and will be right where she left off.
"...So, what you're telling me, is that even if I do succeed at using the Sever Bond on myself, using the Wall of Light on me, it won't be enough to break the False-Bond I have with Kylo Ren?"
The fifty-three year-old man cursed Snoke's name and praised his nephew for killing that shriveled up sack of Bantha-shit, for ever telling such a lie that made Rey don't her feelings towards the boy that he failed as his master... And, as his uncle.
"Whether it be a False-Bond or a true Force-Bond, the result of using the Sever Bond will be the same." He stated, putting more emphasis on the true to make it. clear that her Force-Bond with Ben is legit. "...But, yes. Using the Sever Bond isn't permanent and within a certain amount of time, you'll be reconnected to the Force and your Force-Bond with Ben will reconnect. -And he knew, as he saw the exhausted look of disappointment written on her face, that what he says next will crush her to the truth of her fate.- However, Rey, there's something else you need to hear on why you can't sever yourself from Ben."
She wanted to cut him off and remind him that he didn't go by Ben, anymore. That he's now Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order and soon-to-be Emperor of the Galaxy, as soon as every world acknowledges him as their ruler and accept the rules and laws he'll bring upon them.
In her heart, he'll always be Ben, that Ben Solo will always be a part of Kylo Ren that Kylo Ren was born from... And the man she loves with her entire being, but will never have his hand.
Luke laid a hand on her left-shoulder, pulling her out from her thoughts and stared into his blue-eyes.
"Rey, I know that you know that the Bond you have with Ben isn't just any Force-Bond. -And, of course, he has to bring that up.- And while you had read on about it, I need to ask you: Do you know, personally understand, on what a Force-Dyad is?"
Rey owned her mouth, about to give an automatic 'yes', but then her voice closed in on herself when she thought about what he asked her.
Yes, she had read on what a Force-Dyad is, but only read a few paragraphs about it and Leia had barged in before she could even consider on reading more about the Force-Dyad.
And when Luke asked her what she knew about the Force and gave him her honest opinion on what she heard about the Force and what it does, what he had told her and realizing through his lessons that she was wrong on what she thought it was, made her see that she doesn't truly know everything she hears or read about.
So, personally, she doesn't really know what being a Force-Dyad truly means.
And, with the answer, she shook her head.
Luke flashed her a smile.
"You took your lessons to heart, and have become wiser than those who are too ignorant and prideful to see that they don't know than they realize." He commented, praising her for being honest and to not fall blind a second time, before he got to telling her. "While the text has some of the truth to what a Force-Dyad is, not all facts about it is revealed in books, Rey. For you see, there hasn't been a Force-Dyad in many generations. Literally, over a millenia ago, since the last Force-Dyad has been known. That is, until you and Ben."
Rey's hazel-eyes widened at the news.
'Is this true? But then, why me and B-...Kylo Ren? Why us?' "It can't be because of our False-Bond that Snoke forged between us?"
The fifty-three year-old, once again, cursed Snoke for getting into her head and causing her to doubt her feelings towards his nephew. However, it wasn't his place to tell her the truth. All he could do is explain to her what a Force-Dyad is.
"False-Bond has nothing to do with Force-Dyad, Rey. Because, you see, it isn't something that's made through a Force-Bond. The two had to be born with it... For a Force-Dyad are born with a piece of the Force, itself. In other words, the Force-Dyad are both born in the Force, each of their souls a half to the Force. With that being said, Rey, both you and Ben are two halves of the Force. Thus, you both are literally soulmates to each other."
Rey didn't know what to feel from the most shocking news she was ever given.
Happy? Fearful? Angry? Anxious? Excited? Sad? Frustrated?
All she did know was that it was too much for her to process and, in her response, she pulled away from Luke.
"No... That's not true!" She cried, as tears of disbelief and denial formed. "That's impossible!" 'There's no way that we're soulmates! We can't be two halves of the Force! It can't be true!'
A part of him knew that she wouldn't take the news well, but he was still baffled that she still refuse to accept she and Ben are fated to meet and be together... Let alone that she said the exact, same words that he, himself, said to Darth Vader when he told him the darkest truth about his origin.
...And, like his father, he told Rey what made him rot to his very core.
"Search your feelings, Rey. You know that it's true.*"
And knew, she did. Yet, she still tries to deny it.
"I'm a nobody! A Nothing! Born on a junkyard planet, that's basically nowhere!" She yelled, resulting her voice to echo within the cave and to cough when the yelling irritated her lungs. "I'm a weapon, a tool that outlived its use! Broken, and unsalvageable! And on top of it all, in case you haven't heard, I'm dying!"
Luke can see she's terrified of dying. It's natural for many to be afraid of death, even Jedis and Siths fear the empty void after they pass on to the afterlife.
But, he also knew that a part of her is, also, willing to embrace it and accept her fate... Even when she'll be lonely and will suffer, alone.
"I know about your condition, Rey. And, even though it won't change what was brought upon you or make any difference, I'm very sorry that all of this is happening to you." He replied, slowly walking towards her. "But, whether you do accept the fact that you and Ben are a Dyad in the Force or not, surely you must see that you two were meant to stand together. As the new beacons, that'll bring peace and balance to the galaxy... It's the will of the Force, itself, that you two rule together, as one."
Rey sniffled, wiping a tear away with her wrappings around her wrists, but a new tear replaced the one she wiped away.
"You're wrong, Master Skywalker." She insisted. "You were wrong to believe he was already evil, when you were still alive. And now, you're wrong to say that we're meant to be together. He made it clear of where my place is, how I was never meant to exist in the first place and now, with him as the Supreme Leader, me being alive only leads others to being captured, enslaved or to die."
"And you think you being dead will have a better result, to what will happen to the galaxy? For my sister, and the Resistance? For your friends...? Or Ben?" He countered, already losing his patience of her refusing to see she was loved and important to others. "Because, if you do succeed on killing yourself, I guarantee that you'll get a terrible response, as soon as Ben feels you're no longer living. And believe me, he'll know."
She glared at the man. Even if she believe that Kylo Ren has to be viewed as the enemy, she's still angry by what he did to Ben Solo and is still protective of him. Not only that, but is somewhat hurt that he was sticking up for his nephew and not her.
"I'm surprise, that you would be so quick to pick sides with someone who you helped turn into the most dangerous man in the galaxy. Who, also, killed his own father and nearly his own mother, who happened to be your own sister." She hissed. "But then, others don't tend to stand with a scavenger from Jakku, when it comes to picking favorites. Let alone, those they feel sorry for turning them into weapons."
That did hurt Luke and, like a parent, Luke was quick to scold her.
"I'm not choosing Ben over you, Rey." He stated. "I'll admit, I'm not the best when it comes to being a teacher for others, especially towards family-"
"Towards your family, you mean." She cut him off.
Luke huffed out a stressed out sigh, hating that she excluded herself as his family, but he didn't corrected her.
"Yes, towards my family." He agreed, but put in the emphasis and nodded towards her to signal that she's his family, too. "And, yes, perhaps I should've seen how wrong the Jedi Order was long before Leia and I were still in our training, which probably would've helped me reach out to my nephew and might had saved him from falling into Snoke's hands. But, even if I was given the choice to choose who was right or wrong, Rey, I would never turn my back on you and just go on Ben's side."
"And yet, you telling me on how much of an impact it would be on Ben, should I die, tells me that you're helping him. Not me." Rey stated. "But, I will admit, that everybody else: The Resistance, the galaxy... Your sister. They won't miss me. In fact, I know that many blame me for the First Order rising in power and would rejoice over my death. Just as my parents were so quick to hand me off to Unkar, to pay off their drinking money and get off of Jakku. So, forgive me if I can't see why it should matter if I should keep living with whatever little time I have left with a supposed that'll kill me at any moment. Let alone, believe I should believe Kylo and I would rule together and be viewed as a false-beacon that let everybody down and be acknowledge as a traitorous, power-hungry scavenger."
Luke stared up at the ceiling of the cave, muttering underneath his breath on how she's just a stubborn as he is, and Leia. And he didn't know if he should be proud on Ben being a Bond-Mate with the perfect woman that'll keep him on his toes, or curse the Force for putting her through all this and making think irrationally.
He knew Ben needs to find her, and that time was running out for him to save her.
Fortunately, he knew that there was one last trick up his sleeve, that could help Rey seek for the answer she longed to hear... Or, it could backfire on him, and sign over her fate to do what he waited seven years on Ahch-To for.
He sighed.
"...Clearly, you can't take my word to help you see why you can't throw your life away." He said, mournfully.
Rey, believing he was finally going to see her way and will leave her alone, just like everybody else does, relaxed and released the air that she held in her lungs.
"...I'm sorry, Master." She apologized, bowing her head. "...I do wish that I could help you and your sister, more... But, I'm all used up. I can't keep doing this, anymore. And now, I just want to sleep." 'And never wake up in this so called life, that's been nothing but a painful, exhausting nightmare.'
"...Very well."
She raised her head to his response, quite surprised by his response.
'I knew he would give up. But, so quickly?'
"If you want to go to sleep, I'll help you sleep." Luke offered, raising a hand towards her. "And when you sleep, the Force will show you what you wanted to see... And, will then show you the answer to your request."
Before she could react, Rey's vision became blurry and, like a sack full of heavy supply of scraps, her body fell backwards.
The last thing she saw, before the darkness caved in, was Luke's face... His face, pleading for her to choose life over death.
When she opened her eyes, all Rey could see is the darkness. Yet, she can see her body, as clears if she wasn't in the dark.
"I should've felt trapped, or panicked... But, I didn't."
Casually, she slowly walked straight. There wasn't a destination for her to head for and she didn't know where she's going. Yet, for some reason, her body seems to know what she needs to be.
"This didn't go on forever, I knew it was leading somewhere."
What felt like hours, became minutes when she finally saw something heading towards her... Two something, two figures, walking towards her at the exact same paste as she was going.
When they started to take shape, she paused in her steps, waiting for the two to come to her on their own. Neither of them faltered when she stopped.
Rey, with a calm, numbing expression, watches the two come closer and closer.
Both took different appearances from each other... And, between the two, Rey took both of their physical features.
"And that, at the end, it would show me what I came to see."
...For the two people that came before her until they were six feet across from her, are her own parents. Or, at least, memories on what she last recalled on what they looked like, before they went on that ship and left her in Plutt's care.
She instantly recognizes her mother, first. They were practically twins, since she gained most of her features from her: Hazel-eyes, skin-color, nose-structure, ear-shapes. Even their hands and feet are the same, nails and all.
Her father, as a child, would see him more of a screaming, red-faced demon than a human. Still, she knew where she gained her lips, the mixed color of her hair between his and her mother's own, and the slight crooked teeth. Not to mention, his stubbornness.
The two stared down at her, both being taller than her; her mother only by nearly five inches, and her father being the same height as B-... Kylo.
...She knows that they aren't really here, like she wanted them to be; they just stood there, like Stormtroopers standing in line and awaiting order from their captain. So, even if she yells at them, screams in their faces or uses the Force to pin them to the ground, they wouldn't do anything. They wouldn't show any kind of reaction.
They would do absolutely nothing. And she didn't want mindless, emotionless statues to do what she swore she would do when she would see her parents, again.
...But, if this is the best she was going to get on seeing her parents, then she won't turn down this one opportunity she's been given by the Force, itself.
Rey felt like she's been staring at them for days, as if she couldn't put the picture together on who these two people are and why she has some of their features. And in a way, they were strangers.
They weren't parents. They never intended to be parents in the first place, as they so aggressively and happily reminded her so many times. They weren't anywhere close to be acknowledge as proper caregivers, when they had her fend for herself as soon as she was old enough to eat solid food. The only decent thing they did, was give her shelter from the heat, cold nights, sandstorms and the hungry creatures that would view her as easy prey.
The only reason they never tried to force her mother into a miscarriage or hadn't abandoned her in the wild to die, was because Unkar offered to buy her off of their hands as soon as she reaches the age of five and would give them a ship to get off of Jakku to be free from the life of struggle. And, if she did survive until the day she turns five, he'd wipe away the debt of their drinking money they had, happily, continued to pile up on their shoulders.
The two knew that she could've die, but they were more concerned on nursing their addiction to alcohol than making sure she doesn't wonder off or made sure she'd gotten food in her belly. And, if she had died before she turned five, Unkar would've nullified the contract and would demand payment for their drinking money, which would be permanent slavery to him until they died.
They knew, and they still chose to leave her to fend for herself. They still chose the bottle, as their top priority and greatest importance in their lives.
...
...
...And for that, she now feels now is the time to do it... It was time to get this weight off her chest.
She took in a deep breath, let it out... And then, she found her voice to speak.
"...Well... I'm here," she started. "Fifteen years of enforced servitude, being beaten and starved to obey Plutt like a Wyrwulf that's obedient and loyal to their caretaker, experiencing near deaths and being despise for the life that's been thrusted upon me, and I'm still here. I'm still alive. However, because of the harsh life-style of Jakku had left me with a disease that makes me feel as if I'm being stabbed in the chest and serious breathing problems, I'll be lucky to live the same age as you two were, before cancer develops into my lungs and I die from it spreading and shutting down my organs... That is, if I don't succeed at killing myself, first. -She glared at the two, who remained emotionless.- Of course, you two wouldn't care what I'd do with my life, let alone if I throw my life away, like how I tried to kill myself at thirteen after finding Mariya had killed herself."
Her mind went to Han. It was almost instinctively that she would think of the smuggler, in spite only knowing each other for barely a day. She, also, thought about Luke. Even when he lied to her, treated her lessons as more of a game to get her wild up and never helping her with her training with the Force... He was still one of the few father-figures she was able to learn and bond with.
Sith, even Chewie popped up. And she knows, from how he reacted to witnessing Han's death and how he mourned over Luke's death the first night they were on Ajan Kloss, he won't take her death so easily as his two friends. But, she's confident that the Wookiee will be fine and still has others in his life to help him get over her death, including Leia and the Resistance.
Speaking of Leia, Rey is still hurt that the general betrayed her trust by telling the Resistance about her Force-Bond with her son, the enemy, and how she was putting so much pressure on her to reach out to Kylo and keep pushing to change him to the Light. Maz came into thought, as well. She may had only gotten to know the woman for a moment, to learn that she's a Pirate Queen that many respected and adored, but she was the first to help her learn the connection with the Force... And, to give her a direction to go to, when she offered her some word of wisdom: "The longing you seek is not behind you. It is in front of you."
...Mariya Cerilla, who took up the role as her big sister, even though she was thrusted upon the older-girl and Plutt made her raise Rey at the age of nineteen, also became more of a mother to her. Probably more so, for teaching her all she needs to know how to function in life and survive Jakku. To search for parts that can be reusable and fixable, should they find the necessary resources to repair them. She even taught her how to read and write, which helped her learn the values of ship parts than most of the other scavengers do, better prepare her in the simulation practices on flying ships and how to speak and understand droids.
She had others around her that were like, acted like parental-figures than her own parents... And, like her parents, half of them are dead and the two of the other-half aren't with her when they have other priorities that are more important to them than she is. And the only one that is with her, is the only one who's putting in any effort to help raise her and parent her.
Rey sneered at the two. Her anger rose.
"...You two never wanted a child to begin with, and yet, you decided to keep me, because Plutt would take me off of your hands in exchange for paying off your drinking money and getting you both off of Jakku. But, even when he told the both of you that I have to be alive until I was five years in order to keep his promise, you chose to neglect me and endanger my life by doing nothing! I could've died from a number of reasons, and Plutt would have you working your asses off to pay your debts until you died! -If she had her lightsaber with her, she'd bring it out.- You two didn't give a fuck on what was going on with your lives, so long as you get to drink your fucked up lives away and be in ignorant bliss! And, in the end, living the rest of your lives, selfish and absorbed in your misery, it gotten you both killed! -Tears ran down her face.- I cried for you! I loved you, in spite of how you both treated me like a filthy sand rat and never gave a damn about me! I keep asking myself why you would even give me a name, when you never wanted to establish any kind of connection with what's basically cargo in your eyes!"
All the two figures did was stared at her. Saying nothing. Not moving an inch. They didn't even blink.
Rey sobbed, holding both hands to her chest. She feels all that she held up deep inside her crashing down on her, like a flood of water she would pray to come down on Jakku on a scorching, hot day. She feels so claustrophobic from the pressure pushing down on her heart, but she feels it dying down the more she cries out her feelings. The more she tells them how she felt.
"It was hell, literal hell, having to work under Unkar!" She continued, her voice a bit wobbly from her crying. "He threw me to be raised by one of his workers, Mariya Cerilla, who shouldn't had to be bothered with carrying for a screaming toddler! Even though she would be given extra rations per week, as settlement pay for carrying for me and teaching me how to scavage. Yet, she was the only person on Jakku who allowed herself to welcome me and love me, as if I were her little sister... As if she was a mother. -She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands, and her wrappings. They caused red-markings on her skin, but she didn't pay too much on it.- She was raised on Jakku to be selfish, like the both of you and all of those who live on Jakku. She had to teach me to be selfish, in order to survive Jakku, and I did... Which ended up having Mariya to take her own life, because I chose to stay on Jakku and wait for you two to come back, instead of going with her plan to sneak on a ship to get off of that junkyard of a planet! She died, because I became like you two: Selfish, and self-absorbed! And because I wanted you two to love me, I told her I wished she died, and to never come back! And she did it, because I told her to do it and she believed I hated her, in the end! But, really, I hated you! Both of you! I HATE you!"
She dropped to her knees. Both of her hands, clenched into fists, pressed to her temples, as she screamed out her rage.
"Why didn't you have a miscarriage, when you were pregnant with me?! Why didn't you kill me, when you weren't going to care for me and weren't going to keep your bargain with Unkar to make certain I lived to be five?! I should've been dead! I shouldn't have existed, to begin with!"
"You have no place in this story. You weren't suppose to exist in the first place. You came from nothing. You're Nothing."
"I'M NOTHING! I'VE BEEN NOTHING IN LIFE, AND SHOULD'VE BEEN NOTHING! NOTHING, AT ALL!"
She cried. She begged. She screamed for them to give her an answer. But, because they were nothing but a memory and don't have any thoughts or feelings her parents had, they couldn't answer Rey's request. And she knew that even if they did or were her parents, she knows that they won't give her the answer and say what she's always known to being their reason to keep her alive.
Rey allowed herself to cry her heart out, not in the least embarrassed or ashamed of the two memories seeing her at her lowest. After having to put on a brave face and take what the ridicule and abuse from others, she wants to not have to put up a front and breakdown, not caring how others would gudge her for showing her weakness.
Eventually, she cried out her sorrow and anguish, that she's left whimpering out a few hiccups in replacement of her sobbing.
She didn't feel any better, but she didn't feel worse and was glad to get that off her chest... But, Rey knew that there was more that needs to be said to the two.
Both of her hands dropped, hunching over the ground to get her breathing under controlled. By the time she did, she couldn't bring herself to look at them, except for their shoes.
She swallowed past the lump in her throat, before she got her voice to work and forced out more words that needs to be said.
What she said, if anybody was around or her parents were actually hear, nobody would be prepared to hear what she said to them.
"...I forgive you." She whispered, hoarsed from her yelling. Mostly, because she's tired, even though she's already dreaming. She wonders if it's possible to be so tired in a dream, to be able fall asleep when she's already sleeping.
Finally, Rey had the strength to slowly lift her head and stare up at the figures of her mother and father. She didn't show much emotion, anymore, now that her tears dried up and no longer choking on her pain.
"Everything you both chose to do, all the times you both did nothing to become parents... For selling me off, like I was the most valuable scraps hauled out of a Star Destroyer to the most abusive, manipulative junk-trader in Niima Outpost, who also took control over the water and wealth in all of Jakku... *Sigh*... I forgive you, both."
If somebody else were in her shoes, they wouldn't tell their deserting, alcoholic parents that they forgave them for selling them into slavery and saving themselves.
"I'm still angry and upset that you neglected me, and didn't batted an eye when I cried for you to come back. And, no, I'll never forget for all the times you made me starve for days. When you both would be so drunk, you don't hold anything back to practically scream into my ears on how much I was a mistake and wished Unkar would buy off my corpse if I get myself killed. You even tried to force liquor down my throat a couple of times, when we would be out of water and I'd cry from how thirsty I was and dizzy from dehydration."
She had so much unhappy experiences with her parents, it was literally impossible for her to forget. Even when she suppressed the trauma of them abandoning her and selling her off to Plutt, she knew her childhood was awful.
She won't lie about that. She can't lie about what happened. Not anymore.
"And though both of you don't deserve to be given nothing but the deserving punishment for all the Bantha-shits you pulled off, the unacceptable choices you chose to make that left you indebted to Plutt, which would make it look as if death was a very suitable, and generous punishment you both deserve... I still can't help, but still love you both. And, as such, I offer you two my forgiveness."
Rey got to her feet, staring at the two.
"You two never taught me anything to help prepare me for the harsh reality of Jakku, but you did show me how ugly and corrupted it can make people be. That, and how the only way to survive is to be selfish and look out for only yourself. And guess what? It lead you both to die, just as it lead the deaths of other scavengers who were killed, by being selfish. -Her gaze fell to the floor.- And, yes, I, too, lived and was raised to be selfish. But, -She looked back up.- In moments that I didn't become selfish, when it should've had me killed, from giving my haul to that Nightwatcher Worm when it almost killed me to not selling Beebee-Ate for rations that would've lasted me for two or three months... I'm still here. I'm still alive."
A sniffle left her, as she exhaled a wobbly sigh.
"...And I hate it."
She shook her head. Not proud to admit it, but doesn't have any reason to tell them how she feels.
"I hate it, because I caused so much death and destruction, all around me. I was, literally, thrusted into a war I had no part in and no reason to be a part of. And, for all I've done to do what's right: Ridicule and hatred from others, unappreciated for doing all that I can to give hope... And, a disease that can kill me. Very slowly, and so painfully."
She looked them in the eyes, feeling strong and confident to say what she wanted to say to them. What she should've said.
"While I do love you both, I also want to tell you both... I hate you, too."
Neither made any physical reaction to what she said. And even if they did have feelings and they were hurt, Rey didn't care.
She finally told them how she felt for them, and she didn't feel bad that she harbored hate for them.
"I'm glad you're both dead, because it allowed me to seek for the good of all life around me that I was told or mislead to being bad. I was able to connect with those who were hurt and mistreated, as I was... And, because of your deaths, I was able to be found by somebody I'm proud to call my brother. To meet people who became, not just mentors... But, also, true, loving parental-figures in my life. No matter how small my time with them was."
Rey didn't want them here, anymore. She no longer want them with her and, now that she was able to do what she said she would do when she sees them, again... She felt free.
...And, for the first time... She smiled at them.
"I was right, for what I told Beebee-Ate: You came back, even if it's not really you. Still, for that, I thank you, both of you, for coming back... And, for giving birth to me... And for that, I'm ready... To let you two go."
When she said that, the two figures slowly started to be engulfed by the darkness... But not before the two of them, to her surprise, flashed her small-smiles on their faces.
Rey would see them smile, but only when they're drunk and acting like crazy fools. But, the smiles they gave her, which she didn't recall them ever doing when she's around, it made her heart clenched a bit.
Soon, they're both covered by the darkness and vanished before her.
As soon as they leave, Rey didn't feel anything. Besides being so tired, numb and empty.
It felt so good to finally get that off her chest, and that she did ended up seeing her parents, again... But, without the anger and sorrow she had for them, there was nothing to help her focus on to get through the pain and ache in her chest and lungs.
She feels now is the time for her to wake... Yet, for some reason, she can't.
...Then, she feels the humming, the call of the Force, beckoning her to step forward.
...And, nineteen steps into the darkness, she sees herself staring at the same mirror that she saw, months ago. And, when she looked behind her, like before, she sees herself, a line of reflection of herself, copying her actions and response.
It made her nervous, even scared, as to why she's back, when she finally gotten what she wanted to see.
When she looked back at the mirror, she sees the same two shadowy-figures, walking towards and, when standing in front of the mirror on the other-end, forming into one person. Then, like she did the first time, it laid both of its fingers at the surface, waiting for her to do the same.
"I thought I'd find answers here."
He stomach tied in knots by what was going on, as she raised her shaky last-hand to rest her fingertips against the mirror. She knew it'll only show her reflection, as it did last time... At least, that's what she wants her mind to think, to put her unease aside.
'It's just my reflection.' She chanted in her head, which echoed since her reflections copied what she does.
It didn't help settle her nerves. In fact, it made them worse the longer she stood in front of the mirror and waited for the shadowy-figure to reveal itself as he own reflection.
"I was wrong."
Her eyes widened in horror when, instead of her own face and reflection of herself... It showed her Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, staring back at her. Wearing his black uniform, and cape.
His right-hand, with no glove on, touching fingertips with her own.
His eyes stared into hers, showing longing and desire... Love, for her.
"Join me... Please..."
Immediately, she pulled away.
"No!" She cried.
He reflections behind her are gone, leaving her alone with the reflection of Kylo Ren, who remained in the mirror, his fingertips still resting where he own had been, still staring at her.
"This can't be right!" She yelled, completely in denial. "Why you?! Why is the Force showing me you?!"
As if it heard her, Rey soon found herself in what she can beat describe as some palace. It was much bigger than Maz's Castle, with beautiful colors and decor that seems only rich people can afford.
Her clothes had changed, becoming something that she can only see those who are of royalty would wear. A dark-green dress completely covers most of her body, with a priceless, beautiful necklace around her neck. Her hair, as she reached with her left-hand, was up and in braids she isn't familiar with... On her left-hand, when she pulled it away from her head and noticed in the light, a ring that made her teary-eyed by the meaning it suits on her ring-finger.
In front of her, hundreds, thousands of people, cheering for her.
...And, to her right and holding her right-hand, is the very man that many feared, and also loves and respected.
Wearing a dark-blue royal garb, a different black-cape, with a crest-pin resting proudly on his left-chest and hair in a similar braids as her own, is Kylo Ren.
His face is turned to her, beaming softly down at her, as he brought their joined hands to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of her hand... There, she saw he, too, wore a ring on his own left-hand.
His smile made her heart hammer against her chest. Her knees shook, as she stared at him with so much longing for him.
...Then, with his right-hand, he held her chin up a bit higher, as he slowly lowered his head to kiss her lips.
After the kiss he gave her, she couldn't forget how soft his lips was, or the taste of mint and ice when he had his tongue dance with her own.
...Or hope much love, devotion and desire he has for her... And his right it was, when they kissed and allowed each other to be one.
"I know that when the time comes, you'll be the one to turn. You'll stand with me, Rey."
Rey, realizing what was going on, pulled away from the vision, returning to the dark, her clothes as they were and her feelings back to being frantic and disbelieved by what she saw.
Her arms wrapped tightly over her stomach, hands clenched tightly to her elbows, as she stopped to the ground.
"...No..." She whispered. "...It's not true. It can't be true... It's-..."
"Search your feelings, Rey. You know that it's true."
Luke's words echoed, making her fears much more surreal to what just happened.
And harder for her to accept, with everything turning out as it did.
A sob left her, as a single sentence left her lips before the darkness took over her.
"I've never felt so alone."
Her eyes snapped open and, to her shock, she finds herself underwater.
Immediately, she swam up to the surface and a huge gasp for air came out a soon as she breached.
She sluggishly swam for land, hunched over the rocks and sands to puke out the water that entered their her mouth when she woke up.
Hoarsed, rough fits of cough left her, as her body shivered from the force of her coughing fit and the cold from the water and leaving it.
She may not know how long she was in the water, but it couldn't had been that long. Otherwise, she would've been certainly dead.
And, looking around the cave, she's all alone. Once again, Luke left her.
Outside of the cave, she hears the waves of the ocean hitting the rocks. Normally, the sound of water would calm her, but it only made her realize that she still awake and left with a startling reality.
No matter how hard she denies it, or how hard she tries to convince herself, she has to accept the harsh truth: No matter what, she and Kylo Ren's fates are tied together and are meant to be as such. And everyone around her, everyone close to her, even the Force, itself, are making her see that she can't escape from it and will end up standing beside him.
Just as he told her would happen, on the Supremacy. Even if it looked like a dream, a happy, glorious, wonderful dream that a little girl would dream of having with their prince or knight in shining armor.
With a trembling hand, she reached for her scavenging knife, pulling it out to stare down at her own reflection on the blade. She sees a scared, freezing, emaciated girl, who is so tired and wants her loving nightmare to finally end.
"Let the past die."
"It's time to let all things die."
She sniffled, staring at the blade for a moment to memorize her reflection on what she has become, before she pushed herself to get up.
"It's time... To let it die." She whispered, pulling her heavy cloak closer to her body that offered no help to keep her warm.
"Kill it, if you have to."
"Let it all die."
"I have to... Have to kill it."
"It's the only way to become who you were meant to be."
She forced herself to head for the exit, muttering in a tiring voice on what's she's hearing she should do, as she laid her knife against her racing heart.
"Kill... Have to kill it... Can't become... Can't be... Must... Kill... Must end... Me... Time to die... Let me die... Let me be... Nothing."
TBC
*:...I don't know. Do you think this shouldn't be in the story? I thought I'd be interesting, if some things in the past came back, as if it had history repeat itself.
I would've had Rey fall through the hole and not have her talk to Luke in the cave, but she would've learned her first lesson to not repeat her last mistake. Plus, this seems like a good spot for their second conversation than-... Well... You'll see, in the next chapter.
I saw a dragonfly, three days ago... Ever since my grandpa died, over thirteen years ago, we've been having dragonflies fly to us and stare up at us, during the Summer. We believe it's him, watching over us and saying hi... It really made my day ,)
R&R