Chapter Twenty-Eight: Fool the Senses

That Saturday night on February 3rd Lily's party commenced and it was an enormous success. There were mainly Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs though there was a rather large group of fourth-year foreign students thanks to Lily's friendliness. Remus was both nervous and hopeful Mihaela would make an appearance as she seemed to like the limelight and there were several still sealed eggs brought to the party. Remus had his unsealed but unopened egg back in his drawer, not because he had given up but because he had a legitimate concern that either James or Sirius would hurt his dragon in an attempt to open it. He was confused why Lily had wanted such a large party this year but supposed the foreign students had something to do with it. Remus realized he hadn't talked to very many of them but he was feeling far too nervous about everything that he couldn't quite seem to get himself to talk to anyone.

"Hiya mate. I gave Lily a lily for her birthday but she didn't seem to like it much," James explained, grinning in a way that made Remus certain he did not want to know what had transpired between the two but would no doubt hear about it later. Whether he heard the details from James or not, Remus would most certainly hear Lily rant about it since complaining about Potter was quickly proving to be a more and more common subject matter for her. Remus was confused why Lily didn't just ignore James but he supposed it was hard to do that since his over-the-top friend had been up in LIly's face a lot lately. Remus smiled at James as he danced away from Remus, quickly swept into the hype of the crowd. James was wearing a hideous tie-dye shirt since Mary had insisted on everyone dressing in muggle attire for the party.

Remus knew Mary hung out with her older brother and his Hufflepuff friends a lot as opposed to her roommates but he was glad Lily had Mary who understood the muggle world in a way Marlene and Dorcas did not. Of course, everyone had loved Mary's idea and it added a layer of protection against those at Hogwarts with upsetting views on blood status. Remus hadn't realized most witches and wizards had at least a few muggle outfits in their wardrobe but apparently muggle fashion was 'in' especially among the girls. Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, and Lily were all wearing long colorful dresses and each had a large peace sign necklace around their necks which soon every party participant had as well. Remus was surprised but glad that he wasn't out of place in his bell-bottoms and button-up shirt. In fact, what he had on was quite tame compared to what most wizards and witches had on. Remus wasn't sure why so many people thought muggles only wore tie-dye but Mary and her older brother Magnus Jr. had taken it as a personal mission to go around and educate everyone in attendance about muggle fashion.

Remus had tried to have a similar conversation with James, Sirius, and Peter but had quickly deemed them a lost cause after Sirius had found just the right spell to tie-dye their white shirts. They had been so excited by the prospect of doing so that Remus didn't have the heart to tell them that tie-dye button-up shirts weren't exactly a trend. Luckily it wasn't the bad muggle fashion of the students in attendance but Lily's roommate's collective gift to her, a charmed record player that blasted muggle music which proved to be rather awe-inspiring. Remus was pretty sure most of his peers dancing in the common room liked the muggle music more than their usual wizard bands. At the very least Sirius was enamored by the music and had taken Magnus Jr. aside and seemed to be badgering him about the 'music box.' Sirius was so pleased by The Beatles whose record was playing for the fourth time that night that he had forgotten he was cross with Remus. They weren't really still fighting and Sirius had accepted Remus' apology since it seemed he felt quite bad about snapping at Remus. However, Remus still wouldn't tell Sirius where he had been, more because he was so annoyed Sirius seemed to think he 'had to know' than because Remus couldn't come up with a lie that would appease his friends. Unfortunately, Remus also had to contend with the fact his insistence that he was just ignoring the petition wasn't fooling any of his friends, least of all Sirius.

So it was quite possible Sirius was actually upset about Remus blaming himself about the petition. Either way, Remus felt too annoyed at Sirius to care. He knew all his friends all found it ridiculous that he was blaming himself. But Remus couldn't see any possible way not to blame himself. Avoiding three fourth years talking amicably to several fourth-year Abraesalt students, Remus crept around the crowd as one of the Beatles' newest songs; Baby Please Don't Go began playing yet again. The song had played so many times throughout the night that enough people knew it by heart so that they all 'sang' it at the top of their lungs. Remus was thankful that several prefects had set spells so the noise of the party would not rise to the rooms above Remus walked out onto the transfigured balcony where those who needed a break from the noise could go while still being a part of the party. Since Remus didn't want to offend Lily by leaving her party so soon, though he was pretty sure she wouldn't notice, he decided the balcony was the best option.

"This is the coolest thing ever," some Hufflepuff student he didn't recognize addressed him gesturing to the balcony in awe. Remus nodded in agreement. He liked the balcony a lot and had been quite pleased to have heard multiple Gryffindors talk about keeping the balcony there permanently. He was glad Patricia had done the complicated transfiguration after Remus had expressed to her during one of the rowdier songs that he wished he could leave the loud party. Remus leaned against the rail of the balcony keeping his eyes straight ahead so his knees wouldn't begin to quiver. He knew Patricia was very good at transfiguration and he hadn't smelled any alcohol on her but he wasn't entirely sure he trusted her assurance that the balcony would stay up 24 hours.

Music drifted out onto the balcony muffled but still easily decipherable, especially with the number of students singing along. The toasts to Lily throughout the night had become more elaborate and impersonal as some of the older students snuck firewhisky into their drinks and by the look of it several younger wizards as well. Remus wrinkled his nose in disdain though he could luckily not smell the alcohol from out on the balcony.

Remus sat down on the balcony once the Hufflepuff student was called back in by several students. He hadn't expected Lily to come find him. Nor did he expect her to sit beside him and lean her head on his shoulder with a content sigh. Remus wasn't sure when her leaning against him had become so familiar to him but he hardly ever flinched anymore.

"Enjoying your party?" Remus asked with a smile, unbelievably grateful he hadn't heard so much as a whisper about the Whomping Willow.

"Very much so. Though I have to talk to Marlene about what is and is not appropriate for children our age. It's like she truly believes she is her older sister. I don't know why she wants to be exactly like her. I want to be absolutely nothing like Tunney. I suppose it's really the older students' fault for encouraging such rowdy behavior. Thank Godric that Kingsley takes his job very seriously. He just finished confiscating all the flasks, though I wouldn't be surprised if the Prewett brothers and Patricia have some alcohol still going around," Lily spoke fast as she often did but she sounded overall happy so Remus was glad.

"I haven't given you your present yet," he remarked after sitting with Lily in companionable silence for a while.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous Remus you don't have to get me anything," Lily giggled. Remus ignored her and fumbled with his wand slightly.

"I…...had the idea over summer and did a lot of research. It's still not perfect but….uh…."

Lily had pulled back and was smiling at him excitedly and he was beginning to feel nervous about the spell. What if it didn't work at all? Regrettably, Remus had not been able to perfect the spell but coming up with creative things to do with magic over the summer had successfully kept him preoccupied from other thoughts. Plus, up until recently, he hadn't had a knut to his name much less a galleon so he had spent hours over the summer brainstorming what free gifts he could give his friends with magic.

Remus whispered the incantation heart hammering with nerves but nothing happened.

"S…..s…..sorry I…." he stammered his hard sinking. Remus felt horribly foolish. What was he thinking? He was only a second-year after all, and it's not like he was as talented with magic as James and Sirius who everything always seemed to come easy to.

"Don't worry. Go on try again," Lily encouraged, the same level of excitement in her tone. Lily's faith in his magical capabilities should have made Remus even more nervous but she sounded so confident that he found himself believing in himself a little more. He waved his wand again and this time a large rectangle appeared slightly ahead of them, a picture appearing on it much like a movie projector before becoming clearer and clearer.

"Oh Remus, it's lovely!" Lily gushed, reaching her hand out as if she expected to be able to touch the beech tree that Remus had tried to recreate as similar to the picture Lily had shown him. "It reminds me of home. I can't believe you remembered how much I missed it. I only talked to you about it once," she stated in awe. Actually Lily had talked to him a handful of times about how much she missed the tree she could see from her window at home and Remus had heard so many stories about the afternoons she would spend reading in the tree that it had felt like the tree had been one he himself had climbed. Remus knew firsthand how lovely it was to read in a tree. And Lily didn't move around a bunch as he had so she had actually grown attached to one climbing tree which intrigued him.

"The measurements are still off so it won't fit perfectly but if you cast it on your window in your dorm it should work well enough," Remus explained apologetically. Lily laughed and hugged him tightly.

"Oh, you silly boy. I wish you knew how incredible you are. You came up with this spell didn't you?" she asked, her arms still around his neck. Remus patted her back awkwardly.

"Not exactly, I just combined two existing spells and I mucked around with it for a long time. I just….wanted to be able to give my friends something since I can't really buy any of you anything." Well now he could but Remus felt an unexplainable need to keep the moderate sum of money stashed under his mattress secret. Besides, he didn't think Lily would at all approve of how Remus had come across the money. She would probably insist it was cursed somehow. Which was in fact the only reason Remus hadn't used the money yet, well that along with the fact his father didn't appear to need it.

"Well, it's wonderful. I love it and I've only managed to combine spells once before so I know how tricky it is. Other than you and Dorcas the only person I know who experiments with magic like that is….." Lily let go of him and trailed off in a manner Remus knew all too well.

"He didn't want to come?" Remus asked kindly knowing Severus' hot and cold treatment of Lily had been upsetting her a lot lately. Remus remembered Dorcas' warning about how lonely Lily had been feeling. Remus couldn't help feeling surprised since he hadn't thought that Lily enjoyed his company all that much.

"He did wish me a happy birthday and got me a beautiful charm bracelet which was ever so thoughtful of him. But...no, I even told him I could make an exception for him about the whole muggle clothes but he still didn't want to come," Lily explained sadly.

"Perhaps it's for the best," he offered gently and Lily sighed heavily.

"Yes, I know I just wish he could be nicer. He's usually nice to me when we're alone but it's becoming harder for that to happen and he's blown me off for his Slytherin friends several times."

Remus could tell Lily was getting geared up to go off about Severus and any other time he would have let her but he wanted her to enjoy her birthday as much as possible.

"Well, it seems like Mary has been hanging out with you more." Remus pointed out cunningly steering the conversation far away from Severus. Lily beamed as he knew she would.

"Yes, she has. We've been getting to know her better this year I feel. Oh, and with this record player we're going to have dance parties in our room every night!" Lily gushed her eyes shining with excitement.

Remus laughed.

"You know what. I think the boys might have a go with that as well. What with how excited Sirius is over the music. There's no going back for him when he sets his mind to something. But Dorcas has been combining spells? I didn't know she was interested in that," Remus commented, not at all surprised by Dorcas' ability to do so even though combining spells was something usually beginning to be learnt by fourth year.

"She wasn't last year but…..well she takes all the...you know all the fighting very seriously. She seems to think she's going to take down Voldemort himself one day although she's much less arrogant about it than James is."

"That's pretty easy to achieve," Remus laughed and Lily laughed along with him talking about the battle spells Dorcas had been trying to create then despite feeling sad about Severus she bragged about the spell her Slytherin friend had actually begun creating though she didn't know too many details about it. Remus felt a bit bad Lily wasn't in with the crowd of her party but he was enjoying her company as it kept his thoughts away from very dark matters. Besides, Lily seemed content out here. Lily talked to him about all sorts of things and Remus realized it had been a while since the two of them had talked for a long time about anything other than school. Remus resolved to himself that he'd try to be a better friend to Lily since he owed her a great deal, and she was always such a good friend to him.

"Oh, Lily, your favorite song is playing," he pointed out, not wanting her to miss Piano Man. He was quite surprised she hadn't dashed inside since the two other times the song had played while she was having a conversation with someone she had ended it abruptly to go dance her heart out with Mary. Apparently, the two had discovered they had the same favorite song which seemed to instantaneously make them best friends. Remus was confused by how easily girls could become best friends but he supposed the logic of his friends being friends with a werewolf didn't make much more sense.

"Wow, you must have really good hearing Remus. I can't hear anything out here because of the spell," Lily pointed out, sounding impressed.

Remus flinched, hating any reminder of how he was different. He tried not to bring attention to his good hearing and he would do everything in his power to make sure he wasn't anywhere dark enough that his eyes would glow around anyone else ever again.

"Well you better go or you'll miss it," he pointed out hoping she wouldn't dwell on his better-than-average hearing.

"Come with me," she pleaded already on her feet and tugged on his arm. He smiled despite himself and relented to do so since it was her birthday party. Besides, what kind of friend would he be if he didn't? Remus was prepared and even deep down looking forward to going into the party with Lily since he liked dancing more than he would ever admit. Only right as Lily pulled him to his feet someone else stepped onto the porch tugging his hood around his head self consciously.

"Sev you came!" Lily squealed, launching herself at Severus and hugging him tightly. Remus grinned at the soft expression and blush on Severus' face, sometimes able to glimpse the boy Lily was convinced he could be. Then Severus noticed Lily wasn't alone and scowled at Remus past Lily's shoulder, his eyes flicking to the now slightly blurry projection with unveiled contempt. Remus was glad Lily didn't notice as it would cause the bright smile on her face to fall. Instead, she thanked Remus again for keeping her company and urged Severus to stay for a while, talking animatedly about how her party had been going and about the present she had received from her roommates and Remus. At the mention of Remus' present Severus' eyes flicked to the all but faded image and he sneered as Lily pointed out all the different people inside and once more was thankfully not looking at Severus whose eyes had darkened considerably. Remus shifted uncomfortably wondering why Severus seemed to hate him so much.

"Remus, Severus, both of you come dance with me." Lily declared seeming to believe anything was possible during her party or perhaps hoping if she pretended it was possible Severus and Remus wouldn't have the heart to tell her no.

"I'll be in soon," Remus promised and Lily nodded, trusting him at his word. She was about to head back in just as Dorcas stepped onto the porch. Dorcas teased Lily with a smile at how they had to replay Lily's song since she hadn't come running. When Dorcas saw Severus she shot him a dark look once Lily wasn't looking that was shot back. Dorcas looked away from the Slytherin as if wanting to give him as little thought as possible and smiled at Remus before Lily rushed back inside.

Remus waved his wand, whisking away the rest of the image of the tree. He felt like his present was horribly foolish despite how much Lily had liked it. Remus had confidence Lily would be able to cast the spell herself now, he just hoped she wanted to.

"There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you. Why did you let me wear this ridiculous outfit?" Sirius accused Remus with a grin wagging his finger at Remus playfully. Remus felt his shoulders relax since Sirius seemed in high spirits. Holding to his promise to himself to enjoy the party and not be a downer, Remus matched the tone of his friend. He was just glad that Sirius wasn't accusing him of one thing or the other.

"You and I both know that nothing I said to the three of you would have stopped your matching tie-dye fiasco," Remus replied casually, sometimes finding bantering with Sirius to come to him as easily as breathing.

"You could have at least tried. Some friend you are," Sirius teased and Remus tensed before realizing Sirius was completely joking and not trying to start another argument.

"I know a lost cause when I see one," Remus shot back playfully, surprised at how long it had been since he had felt quite this at ease with Sirius.

"That is very offensive, but you've got a point. Well from now on I'll sport the real muggle fashion. That Magnus bloke seems very passionate about clothes and he showed me loads of pictures. Why didn't you ever tell me muggles are so fashionable? Not only can I look fabulous but I can annoy the hell out of my family while doing so!" Sirius declared happily,

"A win-win" Remus smiled, shaking his head at his friend who was looking over the railway leaning so far over it that Remus had to snatch him back. "What are you doing?" he asked sharply, his tone making it clear how insane he thought whatever it was Sirius was doing was.

"Trying to see the bottom of this patio thingy. Patricia wouldn't let James and I sip her firewhisky even before Kingsley started being a hardass. We just wanted a sip mind you. But she did say she hid her stash in places no one would think to look."

"And you think she would hide a bottle of alcohol on the bottom of the porch she transfigured?" At first, Remus thought Sirius was being a moron but the more he thought about it the more likely it seemed that Patricia would do exactly that.

"Well…..I don't know, maybe not." Sirius shrugged, seeming unbothered by his potential plummet to his death over a bottle of firewhisky. Remus realized the reason a porch like this wasn't included in the Gryffindor tower was precisely because of twats like Sirius and James who would end up fighting up here or doing some other dumb thing and would both fall to their deaths.

Pity. Remus had really liked the porch despite it being so high up.

Sirius hummed a little as if he too could hear the song except it was a completely different song to the one currently playing. He bounced on his feet and Remus snickered at him.

"What?" the tie-dye-wearing boy asked.

"You look absolutely ridiculous right now," Remus pointed out, satisfied about the shade of red Sirius' face grew.

"This is your fault. You had a responsibility as the representative muggle whisperer to lead your naive roommates and prevent a tragedy like this from happening," Sirius chastised dramatically. Remus rolled his eyes but struggled not to laugh.

"You're right. I let all of Britain down. I should be ashamed of myself," Remus said with faked abashment.

"Exactly!" Sirius shouted triumphantly.

"I don't know how you'll ever recover from the humiliation. I don't know what I was thinking," Remus explained, exaggerating the sarcasm. Sirius scowled in mock anger and lightly punched Remus' shoulder.

"You arse."

"At least I have the knowledge not to dress like an arse." Remus shot back and Sirius said something critical about the baggy sweaters Remus liked to wear but he didn't pay attention since a heartbreaking howl had split through the night air causing goosebumps to erupt on his skin despite it being a warm night.

"Fine, fine, maybe saying it made you look like a dried-up giant's bugger was a bit of an exaggeration but you shouldn't doubt my fashion sense. Besides, almost everyone was wearing tie-dye so I think the one dressed like an arse is you...Wait, what's wrong?" Sirius asked his tone changing from antagonizing to confused as soon as he realized Remus wasn't paying attention.

Remus had heard several other howls and while he couldn't place them he knew what they were about. Silverstream! Remus had gone to see Madam Pomfrey the other day since he found that he was rather hopeless at healing spells and had somehow convinced her Elvis was sick. But Remus hadn't gone back to the forest knowing he wouldn't be able to find Skipper or the wolves and having no way to communicate with them. He had never thought about howling... Remus shook his head. What was he thinking? He was not a wolf, he wasn't going to howl. But something deep inside him stirred and he had to resist the urge to do just that at the haunting mournful song that seemed to seep into his very soul.

"Do you hear that?" Remus asked in a strained voice. Maybe he was going mental? Did this mean Silverstream had died? The howls sounded too far off for him to catch what the song meant exactly but it felt primal and raw and a part of him wanted very much to run to the wolves.

"Hear what?" Sirius asked, turning this way and that sounding perplexed. So Sirius couldn't hear it? But considering how faint the howls were to Remus he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. Deep down he knew his hearing was beyond just a little bit better but he was doing his best to ignore that fact along with the way that he was beginning to smell different scents that he had never before picked up on.

Remus took a shaky breath. He wouldn't go in the forest, but he knew he had to get close enough to hear what was going on.

"Remus? Hey, are you ok? What's up?" Sirius asked, sounding concerned now. Remus thought quickly, pulling himself away from the wolves replacing their music with the very human very muggle music in the background.

"That silence. Do you hear that?" Remus asked, stalling to come up with something to say that wasn't the horrible truth about how bizarre he actually was.

"Silence? What do you mean?" Sirius asked, no longer sounding concerned, just confused. Good.

"That," Remus stressed, putting his hand out into the air as if he could physically touch something. Then when Sirius was looking at him with straight-up bewilderment he met Sirius's eyes and forced himself to give the best imitation of Sirius' mischievous grin as he could manage. "That's the sound of how little I care about your opinion of my clothes," Remus explained, putting as much of a playful edge into his voice as he could manage with his mind racing.

Sirius stared at him blankly then burst out laughing, bending over from how hard he was laughing.

"Damn Lupin you got me! I actually thought something was wrong. Bloody hell James and I sure know what we're doing when we choose apprentices."

It didn't take much acting for Remus to roll his eyes at that.

"I like to think of it as my natural wit," Remus teased and Sirius draped an arm around his shoulders in response.

"Nope the credit is all mine….and James," Sirius added as an afterthought. "Now stop being a prat and come inside and dance."

Remus forced a laugh and followed Sirius back inside where the party was still in full swing.

The good thing about one of Gryffindor's infamous bashers was how easy it would be for Remus to slip away unnoticed.