Patricia did not enjoy the party after Remus left, ticked off by how cruel everyone had been to the 'out of it' boy. Calling him Loony Lupin was uncalled for, and it took Patricia a while to hunt the bastard down who started the nickname. Once she had gotten to the bottom of the rumors, the tipsy seventh year she cornered had tried to defend himself… well until she had punched him so hard, he had sloshed the rest of his drink all over his clothes. The fact that the seventh year ended up being Charleen's - one of her roommates - boyfriend was a mere perk really. Despite not having found Remus, Patricia's spirits had been suitably lifted, and she managed to escort Fabian to his room. He had been tipsy enough to be around the party, until the absolute moronic Prewett had tried to focus on Remus; he ended up getting such a deluge of feelings, that -after several solid minutes of incoherent thought - he experienced what he explained to be like 'the worst hangover ever.' Patricia got Fabian settled, not one for nurturing but more than able to go get the shit he requested. She left him slouched against the headboard, returning to press an enchanted cold cloth to his forehead. She pushed aside a large pile of clean clothes and splayed her long limbs across the other end of the four-poster bed. Spying her stereo on the floor, she hauled it onto the sheets.

The two of them busied themselves with tinkering with the enchanted stereo Gideon and Fabian had gotten her for her birthday. The stereo had been hers until the wankers had stolen it back because they had gotten their hands on the newest David Bowey album. Patricia was irritated as she had been trying to listen to the lyrics of "Queen Bitch", letting herself get lost in the lyrics and the alcohol-induced spinning to her brain, before Fabian had to open his mouth and ruin it.

"Remus reminds you too much of yourself Patricia. You won't be able to help him if you take it too personally." Fabian pointed it out quietly, but it was enough to jar the mood.

"Then how about you help him you wanker," Patricia grumbled in response.

Fabian let out a slight laugh. "You're letting these Marauder boys take up the flame of the pranks, which is fine, but you clearly care about them no matter how much you complain… and Remus is hurting."

"I already took him quaffle smacking," Patricia grumbled, surprised by the shock that filled Fabian's eyes upon hearing this.

"Patricia, tell me you didn't!"

"What? It worked!... I think."

"My mum has helped a lot of lost souls - being a healer and all - and she's taught me and Gid many things. Except I listened because I'm not thick like Gideon is mind you," Fabian snickered slightly then pressed forward, " One of the most repeated lessons she taught us was you can't force the healing! Our mum said it would be like tightly holding together the pieces of a broken clay pot, you'd just break it further."

Patricia knew Fabian was trying to make some profound point, but the alcohol was making it hard to even pretend to care at the moment.

"Well that would be a real dumbass move considering you could just magic the thing back together!" she exclaimed, quite proud of herself for her cleverness. Fabian shot her a very pointed look - one that he had inherited from his mum, or older sister, or both. That was the look that said "enough bullshit."

But Patricia was filled with shit, quite literally, her drunken brain unhelpfully reminded her. What were they even talking about again?

"You've lost track of the conversation haven't you," Fabian sighed knowing her and her drunk self far too damn well. She didn't try to hide it, and just nodded, attempting to strike a solemn look. She failed hopelessly and ended up giggling at Fabian's face, which was clearly the funniest thing in the whole world.

"Remus. Remember? You're going to help Remus. But not by pushing him too hard," Fabian inhaled slowly, thinking for a moment, "You would not have liked it if we took you quaffle smacking right off the bat now would you?"

"Hell no! I'd have beat your sorry arses if you even tried," Patricia grumbled and Fabian was polite enough to let that blatant lie pass.

The Patricia of Remus Lupin's age had been a different creature entirely. Sometimes Patricia liked to ponder if she would have been better off hiding her emotions away and walking through the halls like she didn't deserve to be there. But she had decided awhile back that it was much better to express yourself. She pointed that fact out to Fabian like she had won the argument.

"You aren't going to get far if you keep pushing Remus. And neither Gideon nor I helped you out completely right either, otherwise you…" Fabian trailed off. Patricia wanted to rise to the bait, his unsaid words ringing in the air: "otherwise you wouldn't be a hopeless stupid drunkard." But the ringing in the air appeared to actually be in her ears and the whole room did a somersault that her stomach copied so instead she just mutely nodded, really not wanting to spew chunks all over Fabian even if he could be a giant tosser sometimes.

"Now be a good girl Pattycake," Fabian replied fondly, the guilt that had been in his eyes now replaced with sparkling amusement. He ruffled her hair none too gently, knocking her side to side, flaring up the beginnings of a headache. Patricia had half a mind to throw up all over the git but the nausea had passed. Instead, she turned her face quickly upwards and licked the palm of the Prewitt's hand, which she had learned from trial and error grossed him out to no end.

"Patricia, that is disgusting!" Fabian shook his hand in exaggeration and Patricia rolled her eyes.

"You too. Now get lost Fibbin," she shot back, trying to give the boy she viewed as a brother, a stern look.

"That didn't even make sense. And your drunk arse doesn't even realize you aren't in your dorm. Oh, Pattycake, don't make me cut you off." Fabian tsked in disapproval, still shaking his now dry hand as if he could see the germs crawling around.

"I'd like to see you try. I don't think either of us have our wands with us which means it comes down to fists and this drunk arse can beat your scrawny arse any day." Patricia proceeded to mime dropping a mic like a 50s punk rocker - only she was too dizzy, so the badassery of the moment was lessened by her wobbling.

Fabian's laugh followed her as she proceeded to stick her middle finger above her shoulder as she went. Patricia found the advice confusing and she was pretty sure it wasn't just because she was tipsy. She went down to the common room, and continued partying for a bit longer, while keeping a beady eye on the entrance; the party had ramped down enough so the Fat Lady could swing close. Which was a good thing too, as it was nearing curfew, meaning if a professor caught them partying, they'd be in real trouble. Although, Patricia was pretty sure Professor McGonnagal would let it slide, as she had been in particularly high spirits after Gideon's win. Luckily that meant the transfiguration professor had forgotten Patricia was on, what she liked to call, the 'old cat lady's shit list.' So Patricia wasn't too worried when the party stretched on, Gideon finally slipping away to check on his brother, before coming back down and starting a game of pin the horn on the unicorn. The juvenile game just ended up turning into a mess of laughter! And it only got messier when James and Sirius joined in, who, while not having had more than a sip of firewhisky, pretended to be as sloshed as the rest of the older Gryffindors. It would have been funny, but Patricia just kept thinking the two boys must not have known what had happened to Remus. If they did… boy she'd kick their arses for not going after him - they were his friends for Godric's sake!

'Apparently so am I'. Patricia pointedly shoved the thought away, and went upstairs to prove to herself she didn't care enough to wait up for Remus. But after half an hour spent in the bathroom sobering up involuntarily, she folded. After all, she needed to go downstairs to grab the obnoxious cheering card she was going to give to Gideon once he won the Triwizard Tournament. It was the perfect card for the old git, because once opened it would never shut up. Which was why she needed to get the card tonight as she didn't want some ickle firstie to steal it. It was just convenient that at the same time she could check if Remus was in the common room.

Patricia ignored the fact that all the firsties had long since gone to bed, along with most second and third years - she wasn't surprised one bit that most the youngins couldn't keep up with the older students. As she went downstairs she found the remnants of the party being cleaned up by house-elves. Sirius and James were passed out on the couch, and she could almost imagine the two of them staying down here all night if they had to -determined to be the last ones downstairs to prove they could party like the older students… even if James did have a Quidditch game tomorrow. The utter morons! She supposed they could have fallen asleep waiting for Remus, but she liked her initial idea better. Patricia was about to head upstairs when she caught a familiar figure coming down the steps. Remus was dragging two big comforters behind him, entering into the drafty common room. She hadn't cared to notice it before, but she realized Sirius and James were shivering in their sleep, curled up together for warmth. Remus spotted Patricia as she waved her wand, closing the small windows towards the top of the room. With Remus watching her, and a stomach nearly empty of alcohol, she figured she'd try Fabian's advice for once… and only once. When it proved to be bogus, she'd go back to forcing Remus to face his demons, and he'd thank her later, once he'd toughened up a bit.

"Hey, kiddo. Taking care of these arses again?" she asked lightly, letting his whole freak out slide ...for now.

"Someone's got to," Remus replied with a slight laugh, making his way towards her. It was then Patricia realized that tucked under Remus' arm, was an egg! Suddenly she didn't need to force herself not to mention Remus' freak out, because seeing one of the eggs that somehow had not vanished with the others was downright startling.

"You still have it? Great Galloping Gandalf how'd you manage that?" she asked eagerly, eyeing the egg as Hagrid might have eyed a real dragon's egg.

Remus started laughing and for a second Patricia couldn't figure out what was so funny.

"Shuddup we all know you're a swat who likes Lord of the Rings," she countered in an exaggerated prissy voice.

"I'm just surprised you do and that you'd describe Gandalf that way. I can't picture it."

"Course you can! Just imagine Dumbledore and I'd bet all my knuts that Gandalf and he look practically identical."

Remus laughed again; the rather high pitch strained laugh that one finds themself using when sleep-deprived after an emotionally taxing day.

"You can thank me for my brilliance later- and I'm copywriting that phrase, so if you use it you have to give me credit!" She waved a hand," But enough about that, how come you still have your egg?"

"I have no clue. I was told all the dragons were gone but...maybe because I hadn't unlocked mine yet… I mean she hasn't hatched yet so either she never will or…maybe if she does she won't disappear?" There was a hesitant hopefulness about him, and Patricia couldn't help but hope for the latter to be the case. If any kid deserved some joy, it was Remus Lupin.

Patricia cleared her throat and watched Remus' eyes go weary, clearly cautious of her next words. Positive she was going to sound stupid, Patriciashoved her hands in her pockets and leaned against the wall, hoping her cool pose would make up for some of the lame assery. "If you want to talk about earlier I'm here for you. I understand it more than you'd think and I don't judge you for it. So…yeah."

Remus blinked a few times, probably in surprise if anything. Patricia crossed her fingers, wanting Remus to reply negatively so she could go back to her usual ways… and of course shove it in Fabian's face: he's not as smart as he thinks he is.

"Thank you, Patricia. I just got really claustrophobic, everything went all….tight," Remus explained and Patricia nodded, her fingers unclenching.

"When I was your age - and a bit younger - I'd start gasping anytime someone yelled at me. Like not the dainty shit but like really yelling, which...considering my likelihood for wreaking havoc, well it happened quite often. No one cared, 'cause they all thought I was just making it up to get out of trouble. But….a good friend of mine," Patricia tried very hard not to get distracted by thoughts of Fabian - how he had sought her out, knowing how much she had been hurting. Fabian: the first person who held Patricia's hand when everything got tight, who stayed by her side and assured her everything would be okay, "He didn't make me feel like trash about it." She paused. "I'm so tired I lost where I was going with this, but just ignore the fuckers who judge you, 'cause they don't know shit. Also….I find reminding myself 'I'm safe' helps...some. But you gotta keep repeating it to yourself to the point it might piss you off, since it doesn't seem to work at first but...eventually, it will, and it'll get easier the more you do it." Patricia stood there numbly, trying to sort through why departing this information onto the hurting child before her - who looked so appreciative - actually warmed her cold dead heart.

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, Patricia."

"Don't mention it kiddo. And…we don't have to beat up bludgers if you don't want to again. I'm...I might have pushed you too much…before you were ready to address that shit….so well…yeah…" She stood there staring at Remus a bit, "Anyways I'll let you tend to dumb dumb one and two in peace. Night."

"Goodnight, Patricia. And thank you again. I….it was helpful. Really helpful I think. Thanks"

"Don't mention it. Sweet dreams..." she paused, considering how unlikely sweet dreams were for people like her and Lupin…., "or none at all."

And with that, she departed, climbing back to her dorm, which remained devoid of her roommates. As Patricia flung herself onto her bed, tugging off her clothes to bundle under the soft blankets... she realized Fabian had been right.

Well damn.

….

When Remus woke up the next morning it was to James, who had wandered back into their dorm and managed to slam his shin against the dresser, swearing loudly- "Son of a banshee!"

Of course, Remus wasn't going to sleep through that, and the foggy dreams of whispered tragedies were certainly no reason to keep him in bed. According to the faint light of dawn, James had woken up far earlier than usual. Remus knew there was only one thing that got James up this early.

"Are you okay James? Worried about the game?" Remus asked, poking his head out from the bed curtain.

"Yeah, maybe a bit. Where were you last n… Hah, you look ridiculous!" James snickered, having turned away from the dresser halfway through the sentence, to see Remus' hair sticking up all over the place. Remus smoothed it down, flashing James a toothy grin.

"Learned from the best," he shot back, and James grinned in response before continuing to search through the drawers.

"If you are looking for your uniform it's on the floor in the bathroom," Remus stated, trying very hard to keep the judgment out of his voice. At least James was, slightly, more organized than Sirius Black. Remus suspected that his messy friend's typical home environment was of the kind where everything had to be in its exact place, or there would be hell to pay. And so in the dorms, it seemed, Sirius liked to compensate.

James rushed into the bathroom, letting out a shout of glee, not at all bothered by the wrinkled state of his uniform When no one stirred at the loud noise, Remus realized Sirius was still asleep in the living room, and quickly mumbled a cleaning spell - one he had recently learned, specifically for this reason. He let out a sigh of relief as the piles of paper, wrappers, clothes, and quills magically zoomed back into their designated spots. Of course, it was a temporary fix. Sirius would soon be back to wrecking havoc, and Remus would have to wait until the next opportunity; the silent battle would continue to be waged.

"James, don't you have some time before the game?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as James exited the bathroom, the level of wrinkles in the Quidditch uniform something that in good conscious Remus could not allow. "Come here and let's get that uniform straightened out at least?"

James looked down at himself and laughed. "Brilliant. No time for that mate there's a meeting with the Quidditch team I'm late for," James paused at the door to the room though, "Oi, do me a favor and let Sirius embellish the adventure of last night. I'll tell you the real story later," James winked leaving Remus confused and wary. Once James was gone, Remus pulled out his Transfiguration book, reading by the early dawn light as Peter's snoring kept him company.

…..

Remus pretended to be paying close attention to the game, though his thoughts were elsewhere. He had been surprised when Sirius hadn't immediately burst out in some elaborate tale immediately after he had woken up. Though Remus supposed the preoccupied Black hadn't even noticed his presence as he tore off his clothes, content to make as much mess as possible, before disappearing to take a shower. By the time Sirius was done, Peter had stopped snoring and had awoken just in time to catch the end of one of Sirius' horrendous-sounding shower songs.

"Where were you last night Remus?" Peter had asked with a half yawn - the boy's hair the neatest of the lot, by far. Pettigrew never had any bed head, which had quickly become something of a challenge to James and Sirius. Remus noticed the slight elevation of a few locks of Peter's hair, and so assumed they had bewitched Peter's pillow, in yet another useless attempt to get Pettigrew to join the brigade of 'bedhead lads'.

"With Patricia," Remus had answered semi-honestly, which of course was when Sirius had flown the door open, singing some made-up song about his mum turning into a baboon, throwing his arms out as if he was on a stage. Remus and Peter had clapped since it was less effort than dealing with an affronted Sirius who, they had learned the hard way, would have launched into another song. It was very well known amongst their dorm that Sirius only sang in the shower when he was very happy, a rather unfortunate effect, so again Remus had expected an immediate explanation of the entails of last night

But Sirius had been much more interested in finding out where Remus had gone, and the young werewolf allowed the badgering, just glad that news of his public freakout hadn't reached his friends. So, Remus realized that Sirius had been far too occupied with Remus' made-up story about hanging out with Patricia and the Prewitt's, and he was now caught up in the game. Well… as caught up as Sirius Black could currently be. Remus glanced at Sirius squirming in his seat, in one of his "can't sit still" moods that almost always ended in disaster.

"WHOOOO WHOOOO!" Sirius hollered loudly waving his arms like a lunatic, as James sent a quaffle flying through the Hufflepuff's goal post. Sirius caught Remus looking at him and grinned. "Come off it Remus, where's your team spirit?"

Remus pretended to look around for it then shrugged. "I must have left it in my bed after being so impressed by your riveting performance this morning," he shot back sarcastically and Sirius chortled in appreciation. Having some of Sirius' attention, which was about all that could be hoped at the moment, Remus quickly kept talking, "You seem very cheerful today, did something happen last night?" Remus tried to sound uncaring, but curiosity had been nagging at him all morning. He had kept expecting Sirius to blurt it out at some unexpected time but he was sick of waiting. Remus needed to know if there was going to be some sort of massive prank happening, or the consequences of one that had happened.

Sirius looked at him for a moment then smirked, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Remus blinked a few times, wondering if he could get away with violently shaking the Black as he sometimes felt like doing. But Remus would end up looking like a madman, and Sirius would look even smugger than he currently was. James had seemed to think Sirius would tell Remus right away, so why wasn't he?

"Fine, don't tell me. I don't particularly care that much," Remus replied with as much boredom as he could muster, leaning forward in his seat to feign interest in the Quidditch game. The commentator's nasally voice made all the commentary sound rather like nonsense.

"REEEEEEMUS," Sirius whined and Remus had to bite his lip not to smile - that would only ruin his chances of finding out. He caught Peter watching the two of them with a sort of puzzled look, and then turned back to Sirius with a face void of emotion.

"Yes?" Remus asked calmly, raising an eyebrow as if he didn't know exactly what Sirius would say.

"Aren't you going to beg me for information?" Sirius asked hopefully. Of course, it had all been a game. This only confirmed for Remus that the big mystery must be some sort of prank… and suddenly that wasn't nearly as intriguing as teasing Sirius was.

"No," Remus shrugged for good measure and even glanced at the ongoing game, as if his friend only had half his attention.

"What? Why not?" Sirius asked in surprise, a pout beginning to form on his face.

Remus was struggling not to smile as he jerked his thumb to the Quidditch pitch. "Team spirit, remember? Oh look, I think Gryffindor just scored another goal." Remus turned his attention back to the game, pretending to blow warm air onto his hands to cover up his smile as he could feel Sirius gaping at him. As the students in the stands around them erupted at the win, Sirius was forced to cheer along, though perhaps with less enthusiasm than he might have usually displayed. Remus caught Peter watching him again, with that same perplexed look on his face. Before Remus could enquire further, Sirius was once more fully focused on the game, shouting for Peter and Remus to follow him and congratulate James… who had indeed played like a champion. Remus smiled; star-chaser James had done it again.