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XIV
FIRE
Everything was fire around him. When Tommy opened his eyes, he was surrounded by flames and black smoke blocked his lungs.
He was lying on his back on a bed and recognized the ceiling above his head. The cracked wooden ceiling that rainwater used to seep through was the same one that Olivia hated and which he had promised her to fix. The flaking plaster walls that surrounded him, and through which pillars of fire rose, were the same as those found inside the brick house. That brick house.
Tommy couldn't move. He was paralyzed on the burning bed, naked, and Olivia slept on his chest. He tried to call her and warn her but his throat refused to utter a phrase.
"Olivia, wake up". Lacking the ability to speak, Tommy spoke to Olivia with his mind, hoping for a miracle. "Wake up, for fuck sake".
But it was too late. The fire had reached the sheets and started to burn the white cotton. It reached his legs and Tommy was surprised to find they weren't burning. It reached Olivia's feet, and while she didn't move one iota, Tommy despaired.
"Wake up!"
His upper body rose on its own at the exclamation that he was finally able to let out. When Tommy opened the eyes, confusion overwhelmed him: he was in the living room of Ada's house, Olivia's diary on the floor, the box on the coffee table. The first rays of dawn, whitish and dying, filtered through the blinds, and the ticking of the clock was the only sound his ears could catch.
"It was a nightmare", he told himself. Tommy's pulse was racing. He settled into a sitting position and felt an immense urge to vomit.
Tommy barely remembered the state in which he had arrived at his sister's house. The laudanum had acted and spoken for him, but had not succeeded in blurring the conversation with Ada. Reading Olivia's second diary made him succumb to exhaustion, falling asleep.
He picked up the notebook and tried to remember where he had left the reading. Tommy couldn't help but smile as remembered that night that Olivia had recounted so well. He wondered how her day continued after this and with sincere curiosity, he started reading again.
/
We arrived in Birmingham shortly after noon. Thomas parked the car in front of Ada's house and before allowing me to get out, he took me by the chin and kissed me. The gesture surprised me, since my attention was focused on the very possible discussion that I would have with Ada as soon as I crossed the portal.
"I'll see you at the Company on Monday", Thomas said.
For a moment it seemed to me that he wanted to tell me something else. I am not going to risk it and assume that it was a manifestation of affection since such a thing contradicted everything that had given me to understand the night before. According to Thomas, there was something between us but, for him, that something was not love. He loves Grace.
Smiling, I got out of the car and with a brisk step I entered my friend's house. I had not closed the wooden door when I heard footsteps heading towards the hall from the living room and expecting to meet Ada's angry face, I was surprised to see Polly, with a cigarette in her hand.
"It's her, Ada. Here's your friend". Polly took a drag on her tobacco as she kept her haunting gaze fixed on me.
Ada appeared almost instantly. Seeing me, she narrowed her eyes in an angry expression and crossed her arms. Her attitude didn't surprise me.
"We couldn't go back", I hastened to excuse myself. "It started to rain in the afternoon and..."
"We already know, girl", Polly interrupted. "It rained here, too. The surprise would have been it didn't. We are in England, after all".
"My Aunt Polly is a gypsy witch. Yesterday I asked her if today it was going to rain and she said yes. That's why I went to Ada's house looking for you". I had not forgotten the confession that Thomas had made to me the night before since it was impossible to forget, not only because of the prophetic character that Polly Gray acquired in my eyes, but because of my fear that he had made Polly known about his intentions towards me.
"You should only have made one call", Ada snapped. "Even though as soon as you got into Tommy's car I knew you wouldn't be spending the night here, I was concerned, and if I wasn't calling Polly for advice, it would never have occurred to me that my brother's plans were so elaborated", she commented.
"Thomas usually doesn't bother himself that much, you know?" Polly said. Her eyes were shining insightful. "He always fucks his women anytime, anywhere. He doesn't worry about taking them to a mansion or waiting to rain to have an excuse to do so".
I felt my cheeks turn red and I was aware that my pride was hurt. I didn't know how far Thomas had made Polly aware of his plan, but something told me that it wasn't necessary. Apparently, Elizabeth was a woman with the ability to read the gestures and attitudes of people.
"We didn't fuck", I rushed to cover even knowing my lie was stupid and pathetic.
I saw Polly giggle as she blew tobacco smoke out of her nose.
"Poor idiot…" she insulted me.
"Pol!" Ada caught her eye.
"You are like a child, Olivia. An idiot child". Polly was insulting me again, but before her niece addressed her once more, she was quick to speak. "You stink of Thomas, don't you realize?". I was thrown off by her statement. Until that moment, I had waited for her to say anything but that. "There is only one man who can afford that cologne in all of Birmingham, and that's my nephew".
To my stupefaction and just to make matters worse, Ada came up to me and sniffed me as if I had suddenly been transformed into a piece of cherry pie, wine, or anything else that could be sniffed with such impetus.
"Goodness, it's true", my friend murmured with an expression of disgust. "I hope your perfume isn't as strong because if not, trust me Lizzie will notice". said Ada with some concern.
"She already noticed", Polly snapped and I swallowed, almost terrified. "Do you really think a woman like Lizzie wouldn't realize that her husband has a mistress?", Polly questioned, talking to Ada. "Also, her husband is Thomas Shelby. The most obvious and easy to read man on this planet when it comes to women".
On Monday I have to go back to the company, and just imagining Lizzie Shelby's fury made me clench my fists anxiously. I wasn't going to give up on Thomas, for the world, but I can't deny that facing his wife creates a conflict full of guilt and fear inside my chest. I don't know her; I don't know how she could react and how she would take my desire to remain with her husband if there was an opportunity to resort to dialogue before she caught me by the hair.
"Thomas and I have something", I said, feigning fortitude, "and we're not going to give it up just because his family objects".
" 'Something'? And what would that 'something' be, Olivia?" Once again, the one who attacked and questioned me was Polly Gray. "Love?"
"No, it's not love". My heart stopped for a second because of the sudden sadness that washed over me.
"So it's just lust, dear. Don't get your hopes up". For a moment, I felt Polly sympathize with me and I hated generating pity in that woman.
"It's not just lust, Elizabeth", I snapped. "There's affection. There's trust. There's something else. I saw it in his eyes, in his caresses. He told me so".
"Thomas told you that?" Polly Gray laughed so hard that both Ada and I jumped. "Let's see, Ada, we who do know Thomas: since when has your brother been a fucking poet? Since when does he use words like 'affection'?"
"He never uses those words", my friend agreed in a low voice. In a way, she was annoyed by her aunt's attitude but she wasn't willing to agree with me either.
"Olivia, open your eyes". Polly's tone was almost violent. "Thomas just wants to fuck you and he'll do it until he gets bored, or until you let him".
"Elizabeth, you weren't there, you didn't see how he looked at me…", I appealed, pissed off.
"Thank God I wasn't there", Polly said sarcastically.
"Thomas is your nephew, yes", I continued, "and it's true that you know him much more than I will ever get to know him, but you can't tell me what he felt yesterday while I was in bed with him, what he told me and what he transmitted to me". I took a deep breath. I was ecstatic in fury. "I might be an idiot child, just as you say, but I'm capable enough of knowing when a man wants just a fuck or hopes to get something more from me than just my body".
I tried to keep my voice from breaking. Ada was staring at me with wide eyes, as if my words had thrown her off balance, and Polly remained silent, analyzing me as she finished the cigarette. I saw Polly shake her head, as if she considered me a hopeless case, and that didn't help to calm me down.
"You're in love", Polly Gray concluded.
"I am", I agreed unashamedly, almost proud of my feelings.
"You have no idea what such a thing entails", Polly sighed. "You've made the worst mistake, Olivia. You've fallen in love with a Shelby and that will take its toll on you".
/
As if with her testimony, Olivia had called Polly out, the latter entered the living room interrupting Tommy's reading. He witnessed how his aunt passed him completely, as she searched for something in the bag she had left on a dresser before storming out of the room the night before.
"You told her she stank of me", Tommy spoke and his dry throat made the words sound like growls.
"What the fuck are you saying?", Polly looked over her shoulder frowning.
"You told Olivia she stank of me the morning I brought her to this house after going to Carleton's estate".
His aunt scrutinized him with her eyes for a second or two. Then she ignored him once more and poured herself a glass of gin, as if she was begging the alcohol to bless her with patience.
"I told Olivia a lot of things", Polly concluded. "As you progress through the diaries, you'll see".
"Did you read the diaries too?", Tommy asked.
"Of course". Polly walked over to the couch and, to Tommy's surprise, she sat down next to him. "I adored that girl", she added. Almost in pain, Polly took a sip of her drink.
"It didn't seem like you adored her".
"Are you saying this because of the way I questioned her at first? How did I deal with her?" Tommy's words had hurt Polly. "I did it because I didn't know her and considered her a threat. A threat to our family, to our businesses. A threat to herself and therefore to your sister". Polly stroked the crystal glass. "It didn't take long for me to realize that the threat was you and the one in danger was her".
"She saved Michael's life", Tommy said. The diary entry had brought him up to speed on how miserable his aunt had been with Olivia.
"And for that I'm eternally grateful". Polly's neck tightened. "Michael loved her too, you know that".
Tommy couldn't help but feel a slight burning in the pit of his stomach. He remembered very well that diary entry, not so distant, in which Olivia had related her meeting with the Company's board of directors and the first impression she had made of Michael. It was obvious that at that moment she had never imagined that she would continue to interact with that bastard.
"Do you think if Olivia had chosen him, she would still be alive?" Tommy wanted to know, and the resentment manifested itself in his voice.
Polly studied his face, quiet but visibly tense.
"She would never have changed you for Michael, or anyone. Olivia loved you and no one else", her aunt concluded.
"Maybe she would be still alive", Tommy said that more to himself than to Polly. "They could have married and now they would be living in New York being fucking happy". He gritted his teeth. "Far from England. Far from the Peaky Blinders. Far from me".
"Let her go, Thomas", Polly's advice came in a whisper. "You'll gain nothing by becoming bitter while you imagine her being happy with another man because there is no such possibility. She is not here anymore".
"How did Michael take her death?", he had to ask. Tommy ignored everything his aunt had told him.
"Bad", Polly said.
"How bad?"
"He wanted to go back to England". Polly couldn't keep her eyes on him.
"And why didn't he come back?"
"Because he was going to kill you if he did", Polly snapped and closed her eyes. For some reason, she was finding it difficult to speak. "Michael thought you were guilty of everything and I don't know how the hell I did to convince him to stay in America. You almost killed each other once", she recalled, "and I had a hard time avoiding it. A couple of years ago, you told me yourself that you were going to kill Michael and over time, I was able to put that idea out of your head. I did the same with Michael when he intended to murder you after what happened to Olivia".
"You would have let him kill me..."
"Don't be stupid", his aunt scolded him.
"Michael was in every right of him and he was right". Tommy touched the diary, now closed. "I'll call him", Tommy suddenly resolved, and saw his aunt move restlessly on the sofa.
"Don't even think about it!"
"I'll tell him to come, to kill me, and I will let him use whatever method he sees fit", Tommy was speaking to himself and Polly was babbling in distress. "Then he can go back to New York or keep all of mine since, as far as I know, he always liked my things a lot".
The creaking of the door made both of them draw their eyes to it. Into the living room entered, stretching the shiny back, the cat that had been Olivia's. His emerald green eyes sparkled smart on the pitch black fur as he caught a glimpse of Polly and Tommy sitting there, and he approached, tail lifting and rubbing the furniture.
"Tommy the Cat", Polly murmured, smiling bitterly and sadly. "Olivia was very unoriginal with names".
That observation brought to mind a lot of questions Tommy had been asking himself since he woke up groggy on the couch.
"Do you remember when, not long ago, I used to dream about a black cat?", he asked.
"Yes".
"I told you that a black cat, in dreams, meant treason" 'Tommy the Cat' came to the sofa and climbed on it, placing himself between Tommy and Polly. "At the time, I thought the traitor was Michael".
"And you were wrong", Polly snapped.
"And I was wrong", Tommy assumed as he stroked the cat. The cat responded with its purrs. "But it was true that there was a traitor among us", he added. "Today, I dreamed of fire, Pol".
"Fire?"
"I dreamed I was in the brick house, sleeping with Olivia and everything was on fire", he recounted, a feeling of dread running up his spine. "I wanted to wake her up but I couldn't speak nor move".
"Dreaming of fire means..."
"Destruction. I know". Tommy didn't let his aunt finish speaking. "And the fact that both Olivia and I were surrounded by flames, it means that I destroyed her and I also destroyed myself", he concluded. "I was able to leave everything behind and I didn't want to. Ironically, I was the one who started that 'fire'".
"Go home, Thomas", Polly was looking worried again. "I already told you once, but go home. Give your children a kiss and sleep next to Lizzie..."
"Lizzie left"
"What?", Polly looked confused.
"She got sick of me, and to be honest, she was taking quite a while".
"God, Thomas", his aunt stroked her forehead. "It was the only thing you had left. Did she take the kids?"
"She took Ruby with her"
"She should have taken Charles, too". Polly's conclusion didn't bother him or was strange. "You're dangerous".
"I always was", Tommy shrugged.
"You were always dangerous, yes, but not to this point. You're no longer aware of who you hurt". Polly stood up. "You have left Charles alone in the mansion for hours, with the only company of a bunch of servants who are only interested in the existence of someone who is capable of paying their salary. Come on, I'll take you to Arrow House", Polly said, searching her coat with her eyes. "And when we're there, I'll bring Charles with me. From now on, he'll live in my house, together with Morgan".
"Is Morgan here in Birmingham?" Polly's words caught Tommy's attention. He was unaware that Michael's son was living in England with his grandmother and Tommy witnessed from Polly's expression that it was not her intention to inform him about that.
"Yes, who was he going to stay with? Gina is dead and Michael is alone in New York, and he refuses to leave his son with unknown people for so long. He's not like you", Polly attacked him gratuitously, just as she always did when she felt cornered. "I offered to take care of him".
"I don't know if you're aware that we're talking about a distance of thousands of miles", Tommy straightened up. This situation seemed strange to him. Very strange. "Are you telling me that Michael put his son on a ship, alone, just like nothing?"
"Michael was here", Polly confessed, pressing her lips together. She hated herself for being so careless.
"That's obvious", said Tommy, "but when? Don't you say you had to stop Michael from going back to England so that he wouldn't kill me?"
"It was before... Olivia's death", his aunt explained but something in her tone of voice and her manner told him that she was lying.
"Well... two months have passed". Tommy cocked his head. "Two months without seeing his son, and then the bad father is me".
"Michael adores Morgan", Polly was offended, and Tommy knew that by insulting Michael, he would make his aunt talk again.
"He loves his son so much that he killed his mother"
"Michael killed Gina because she deserved it. That bitch. Fucking traitor", Polly blasted, intoxicated with rage.
"He killed her because he needed to get rid of Gina to win Olivia in love".
"You're an idiot but not enough to believe that, Thomas. You want me to talk, right? What the fuck do you want me to say?". Unfortunately for Tommy, his aunt was very smart. All the women in his family were.
"I want you tell me what the hell is going on with Michael".
"And what would that be? You really don't think he's in New York? Do you want me to call him and so you can check for yourself?" Polly questioned, her nerves on edge.
"I want you to tell me when the hell Michael was here in England" Tommy faced his aunt, standing up.
"He was here last week".
"Where and for what?"
"That's none of your business".
"Oh, of course that's my business, Pol". Tommy put his hands in his pockets. Anger at being kept from truth had brought him vitality back. "Have you already forgotten why he decided to leave in the first place?"
"You can be a fucking OBE and an MP but you can't deny Michael stepping on English soil", Polly clutched the empty glass. "He has the right to see his mother".
"Michael didn't see you for twelve fucking years of his life, why the hell would he have the need to visit you so often now?" Tommy questioned but did not allow his aunt to answer him. "Did he stay at your house, Pol?"
"If I tell you that he did, you will threaten all my maids at gun point until they confess that he wasn't there". Polly approached menacingly, her gin breath hitting his face. "So let me speak for them: no, he didn't stay in my house".
"Where the fuck did he stay then?" Tommy was furious but he knew his expressions were inert. He had lost the ability to manifest them two months ago. "Don't make me threaten you at gun point", he added sarcastically but at the same time, was very serious.
"You're scum", his aunt didn't look intimidated. "Are you going to kill me for protecting my son?"
"You're not protecting your son, Pol. You're protecting someone else", Tommy snapped, and the stupor that led to his aunt turning pale told him he'd hit the nail on the head. "Don't worry. I'm not going to ask who are you trying to protect, because we both know the answer". His voice was icy and sharp as an icicle. "Just tell me where the fuck did Michael stay last week".
Polly hugged herself and took a couple of steps away, shivering and wandering around the living room. She didn't want to talk but Tommy knew she was facing a crossroads. Polly had a choice to make: protect Michael... or protect Olivia.
"He stayed...", Polly exhaled, as if her lungs had stopped working, "...in the brick house".
That was the answer Tommy wanted to hear. Taking the box, under Pol's troubled gaze and the curious eyes of the black cat on the couch, he left the room, driven only by anxiety and fear of knowing the truth. On his way to the hall, he passed Ada, who was coming down the stairs with Beth in her arms.
"Oi, Tom!" Ada tried to stop him by shouting, "Where are you going?". Tommy ignored her and alarmed, Ada turned to Polly, who had followed in the footsteps of her nephew. "What happened, Pol?"
Before opening the door, Tommy heard his aunt crying behind his back and Ada demanded to know what had happened, almost desperately. As he was starting the car, the door to Ada's house opened again and he saw his sister run in terror toward the car.
"Get out!" Ada knocked the window violently. "Get out of the car, Tommy! Let's talk! You're assuming things!"
Tommy ignored her again. He started the engine and, leaving a screaming Ada behind, he stepped on the accelerator. The brick house was on the other side of town, in Small Heath, the place where he had lived all his life. If he was driving fast enough, he might be able to make it in time to...
A thud found him at an intersection, followed by the unbearable noise of twisting metal, and a shower of crystals hit his face as his body went to the left due inertia. Tommy felt his head hit something, he didn't know what; the box on the passenger seat rose as if stuffed with feathers and Olivia's diaries flew through the air.
The last thing he heard before darkness surrounded him was a lot of voices and screams of horror.