The first week after Christmas break, Professor McGonagall urged Carina to meet with Professor Lupin about the Patronus Charm due to her inability to progress passed a noncorporeal Patronus. McGonagall believed it was Carina's chosen memory or lack of openness with emotions that was stopping her from executing a corporeal Patronus, not a lack of skill. And so, McGonagall wanted Carina to try it with a different professor, one less like her and more in touch with their emotions, like Lupin.
As Carina made her way down the second-floor corridor to Professor Lupin's office, she spotted Harry coming from the opposite direction. Her eyebrows pinched together, and she tilted her head. "What are you doing here, Harry?" she asked as they came to a stop outside the room.
He looked just as confused as she felt. "I'm meeting with Professor Lupin. You?"
"Same," she answered. "Perhaps he double-booked us by accident. We can ask." Harry nodded and followed her into the office, the door shutting behind them.
The office was filled with books and a few Dark creatures, which Carina wasn't surprised to see. Lupin was a competent Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, unlike the last two they had. Although Quirrell wasn't a completely terrible teacher, he left a lot to be desired.
Lupin looked up from his desk where he was grading homework. "Ah, wonderful! You're both here." He stood up from his desk. "Come on in. I'm sure you're both ready to get this lesson going."
Harry looked stunned and turned to Carina. "You're learning how to repel Dementors, too?" he asked.
"Already learned it, actually," she corrected. "I simply need a little guidance to make it corporeal. Why's a third-year learning such a difficult spell?" She then remembered Draco going on and on for two weeks about how Harry fainted on the train and him falling off his broom because of the Dementors at the Quidditch match. "Oh, never mind, you're adversely affected."
Harry scowled. "Malfoy told you?"
"Draco's told everyone who will entertain his jabbering. You'd think he has nothing better to do than talk about you." That caused Harry to chuckle quietly. He didn't ever hear anyone from Slytherin insulting Draco.
"I'm pleased to see you two are acquainted," Lupin interrupted, leaning on his desk. "I wasn't sure how well having you two in the same lesson would bode."
Carina tried her hardest to fight the urge to fold her arms over her chest and look away uncomfortably, instead choosing to lift her chin. "I'm not like the Malfoys, professor."
"I could tell in our first conversation." He offered her a kind small. "Let's get started, shall we? We'll hopefully figure out what's blocking your corporeal Patronus." Lupin gestured to a locked chest further in the room. "In there is a boggart. I apologize for putting you on the spot, Harry, but Miss Lestrange, his boggart is a Dementor which will at least get you used to the sight of them and the effects they have on their surroundings. But the strength of the effects will be much worse with a real Dementor, so keep that in mind."
"You may call me Carina if you'd like, professor. I don't mind," she told him, eyeing the chest. In her third year, she had Quirrell. They had covered boggarts in their lessons as he wasn't a complete moron of a professor like Lockhart, but they hadn't faced a real boggart when learning Riddikulus. Harry's boggart was a Dementor, which was admirable. The creature was dark and foreboding and brought all your fears to the front of your mind. But Carina had no idea what hers was. She didn't want to find out. Even though she didn't know the shape it would take, she had a few ideas of the possibilities.
"Of course." The shabby professor turned to Harry. "Now, Harry, you'll be learning the Patronus Charm. It conjures a magical guardian called a Patronus to protect you from Dementors. It is a manifestation of all your most positive thoughts, feelings, and memories. It is incredibly difficult to perform because of the skill and emotions it requires. Repeat after me: Expecto Patronum."
"Expecto Patronum," Harry repeated.
"Say it with a little more feeling," Carina suggested. "Like he said, it's an emotional charm. It's not one of the spells where you can flick your wrist and say it normally. You need to power it up by swirling your wand and say the incantation with confidence. That's where a good portion of the strength of the spell comes from."
Lupin nodded. "Precisely. Say it again."
"Expecto Patronum," Harry tried, his voice sterner than before.
"Good, good. When casting the spell, it will only work if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory. Many witches and wizards make the mistake of trying to use multiple memories at once, but that won't work. Nothing beats your happiest memory."
"What does a Patronus look like?" Harry wondered.
"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it," Lupin explained. "But one that is fully formed takes the shape of a bright-silver, translucent animal, of which the caster feels the deepest connection to. A corporeal Patronus is far stronger than an incorporeal one which is simply a shield."
"Incorporeal, like the one you did on the train?"
Lupin nodded in response. "Yes. An incorporeal Patronus is easier to achieve and is successful at halting Dementors, but it isn't as strong as a fully-formed Patronus which can repel Dementors." He turned to Carina. "Professor McGonagall tells me you've achieved an incorporeal Patronus, correct?" She nodded. "It may be your chosen memory. Perhaps it's not a strong enough memory. Focus your energy on it. You too, Harry. Think of a happy memory and take out your wands."
The professor walked towards the chest and got ready to open it as the two students pulled their wands from their pockets and readied themselves. Carina stood behind Harry so the boggart would turn into a Dementor instead of a strange mixture of his and whatever hers was.
In her head echoed the same words over and over with the smiling faces of Fred and George. It was the memory of them accepting her as their friend regardless of her name and house.
You can't get rid of us that easily.
You can't get rid of us that easily.
You can't get rid of us that easily.
"Are you ready?" Lupin asked. Harry and Carina nodded. "Allow the memory to fill you up and lose yourself in it." After a few seconds, Lupin opened the chest.
As the Dementor-shaped boggart left the chest, Carina cast, "Expecto Patronum!" A silvery mist left her wand forming a shield in front of her, but Harry's first attempt at casting it caused him to faint in front of the boggart due to it mimicking a lesser version of the effects of a real Dementor. With Harry out of the way, the boggart shifted to reflect her fear. Her concentration fell through and the mist disappeared.
There stood herself and Rabastan Lestrange. Both tall, with long dark hair, grey-blue eyes, and a sinister grin, she looked every bit his daughter. They stood in front of her with their sleeves rolled up to proudly show the Dark Mark emblazoned on their forearms. She held his hand. Her boggart was her joining them.
No, no, no!
Burning fire coursed through her veins as Carina cried out, "Riddikulus!"
She didn't see what it turned into as she dropped her wand and fell to her knees, and Lupin forced the boggart back into the chest. The wand clattered to the ground and rolled away. Carina tucked her head under her hands and let out a sob. She felt a hand on her shoulder, but she moved away. "Check on Harry." And so Lupin did, letting the girl react to finding out her boggart alone.
She couldn't join them. She couldn't become him. She couldn't. She couldn't.
Harry came to a few moments later. "Here we go," Lupin said while helping Harry sit up. "Come on, sit up. Deep breaths. You're alright. I didn't expect you to do it the first time. That would've been remarkable." Lupin pulled out a small thing of chocolate from his cardigan pocket and handed it to Harry. "Here, eat this. You'll feel better."
Harry took a bite of the chocolate then looked around for Carina. He found her huddled on her knees nearby, her wand discarded. Setting the chocolate aside, Harry rushed over to her. "Carina, what happened?" he asked.
When Carina didn't offer up a response, Lupin answered for her. "After you fainted, the boggart changed its shape. Some people have worse reactions to their boggarts than others. Give her a moment to process it."
Ignoring the professor, Harry sat down next to Carina, folding his legs beneath him. "Carina," he said quietly. She didn't move, keeping her eyes closed and her head down, biting her lip to not cry. "Do you want me to get Fred or George?"
Carina finally sat up and wiped a few tears from her eyes. "No, I'm fine." They didn't need to see her like that. No one did. Showing emotion wasn't her.
"No, you're not." Harry looked at her with his sad green eyes. "It's okay not to be."
"I'll be fine," she amended, so he nodded. "I had a few ideas about what my boggart might be, but none of them were what it ended up being." She took in a deep, slow breath and exhaled, then decided to change the subject. "What memory did you choose to think of?"
"The first time I rode a broom," he answered.
"That's not powerful enough, Harry. That's why you couldn't cast it. Is there anything else you can try?"
Harry thought over his past. He didn't have a particularly happy childhood, so it was difficult to think of a single instance, a single memory to focus on, but there was one. "There's another. It's not happy exactly. . . Well, it is, it's the happiest I've ever felt. But it's complicated."
Carina's eyes were soft as she looked at the younger boy. "Is it strong?"
"Yes."
"Then you should give it a try."
"What about you?" he wondered. "Gonna give it another go?"
She shook her head, folding her hands in her lap. "I need to come up with a different one. Like Professor Lupin said, I don't think my memory is strong enough."
"What is it?"
Carina ducked her head with a small smile as she thought of the memory she chose. "Fred, George, and I had befriended each other on the train ride, but once we had gotten to Hogwarts, I hid with Adrian and Cassius since I knew I'd be put in Slytherin. But a few days later, Fred and George pulled me aside and said, 'You can't get rid of us that easily.' They were the first people to accept me despite my family. That's the memory I thought of."
Throughout their conversation, Lupin had watched with fascination. He had gone to school with her parents and godparents, so seeing the young Lestrange girl so vulnerable was odd, especially at the revelation that she bared no ill-will towards the Weasleys or Harry like her god-brother definitely did.
Lupin knelt next to the two students, deciding to join their conversation to help Carina determine the memory she should focus on. "I've learned that a wizard's chosen memory for their Patronus is often linked to their boggart. Not always, but often enough. Is there a memory that could oppose what your boggart had become?"
You'll show the world you're better.
The memory of her and Sylvia before their fourth year flashed through her mind quickly, filling Carina with a sense of confidence and self-assurance. "Yes, professor. There is." She picked up her chin, a new look of determination in her eyes.
"Wand at the ready."
Harry and Carina collected their wands and readied themselves in front of the chest once again. Lupin opened the chest to unleash the boggart, once again shifting into a Dementor to reflect Harry's boggart.
"Expecto Patronum," Harry said, but the spell didn't work, so he tried again. "Expecto Patronum!" The silvery shield sprouted from the tip of Harry's wand. Lupin broadly grinned at the successful casting of the charm.
You'll show the world you're better.
The words echoed in Carina's mind, and she swirled her wand. "Expecto Patronum!"
The silver mist left her wand and formed a bird, surging forward and past Harry's shield to hit the boggart, forcing it back into the chest. Lupin closed the chest, and Harry lowered his wand, breathing heavily from casting the spell successfully for the first time. Both watched Carina's bird fly protectively around her with various looks of amazement.
It wasn't just any bird. It was a raven.
"Wonderful!" Lupin exclaimed, raising his arms and grinning from ear to ear. The raven then disappeared. "Both of you, that was just wonderful."
Harry and Carina smiled at each other then sat down in the chairs, both tired at the effort. "I think I've had enough for today," Harry said.
"Here, eat this. It helps, really helps." Lupin handed them both pieces of chocolate which they ended up nibbling on. Lupin leaned on the side of his desk. "I think you both would've given your parents a run for their money. That is saying something."
"I was thinking of them," Harry revealed. "Seeing their faces. They were talking to me. Just talking. That's the memory I chose. I don't even know if its real. But it's the best I have."
"Whether it's real or not, it works," Carina told him. "As long as it works and brings you happiness, that's all that matters."
Harry looked over at her. "What did you think of?"
She thought of not answering him, but it was only fair to reveal it since he had revealed his. "It's something Sylvia said to me. 'You'll show the world you're better.' No one had ever told me that before. Most people assume I'll be just like my dad or Mr. Malfoy."
"A raven is a symbol of both creation and destruction," Lupin said. "Perhaps it means you're destined to destroy the negative connotation around your family name and create a new one."
"I thought it was because a raven is my family crest."
He didn't believe that was the case for her Patronus. There was always more to it than a simple answer like that. The wolf being his own Patronus wasn't because of his status as a werewolf. The wolf symbolized instinct, intelligence, freedom, and social connections while also symbolizing the fear of being threatened and lack of trust. He was more like a wolf than he cared to admit aloud.
Professor Lupin nodded slowly as he studied the girl. "Perhaps, but ravens gain wisdom through observation and challenge. They tend to be introspective, savor time spent alone, and value freedom. They also symbolize mischief and are incredibly intelligent. Does that sound like you?"
"You're probably right, professor."
"It's always more complicated than we believe or want to admit."
The first thing Carina did after she left Professor Lupin's office, besides saying goodbye to Harry, of course, was go off in search of her friends. She just had to show them. She gathered together Sylvia from the courtyard and Cedric from the library and brought them to the Room of Requirement to meet with Fred, George, and Lee since she knew they'd be there preparing for their next prank.
"Merlin's beard, the door just appeared," Sylvia blurted with wide-eyes while pointing to the door.
"It's the Room of Requirement," Cedric told her. "It appears to whoever is in need of it. Wicked to see in action though."
"Come on," Carina said, pulling the two through the door. It closed behind them after they entered the room.
The current figuration of the room was for comfort rather than practicality. It had bean bags, couches, coffee tables, and lamps. Rather than the harsh lighting it manifested for when Carina wanted to practice her spells on conjured dummies and the occasional duel with Fred or George, the lighting was warmer and more relaxed, the perfect atmosphere for a simple friend hang-out spot.
The twins and Lee looked up from the scattered papers in front of them which had the plans of their next prank. "How'd it go?" Fred asked right when he saw Carina. He knew she had just gotten done with her meeting with Professor Lupin and was excited to hear the verdict.
"How'd what go?" Cedric asked, looking at his girlfriend. He, on the other hand, hadn't been told much. She hadn't even realized and felt a little guilty.
"You know how Professor McGonagall had been teaching me the Patronus Charm?" Cedric nodded to answer Carina's question. "Well, she had me meet with Professor Lupin to go over it and help me with getting it from an incorporeal Patronus to a corporeal Patronus. And I've got it."
Sylvia gasped and grinned. "You're joking. You've really got it? A full, corporeal Patronus?"
Before Carina could even nod, Lee demanded, "Well, what is it?"
Instead of a verbal answer, Carina pulled out her wand, thought of her chosen memory, and said, "Expecto Patronum."
The silvery mist that she had grown so used to over the weeks erupted from her wand and formed the raven it had done earlier. The translucent animal flew over the heads of her friends, leaving a misty trail as it went.
Fred sprung up from his spot to get a better look at the bird Patronus flying around them. He smiled and looked over at Carina. He had never seen a more joyful, self-confident expression on her face than the one she wore at that moment. He had never been more proud.
As the misty form disappeared, Carina grinned, looking directly at Fred. She didn't know why she felt the need to hear his thoughts first, but she did. She desired his over the others.
"Bloody hell, that was amazing, Rina," he told her. That was exactly what she wanted to hear.