I hope everyone had a good Pride Month! And if not, I hope your July is better! Remember, it's National Ice Cream Month in the US!
The dark dorm room was silent as the four Slytherin girls slept through the night. The wood stove in the center of the room kept the room warm and cozy in the late-February cold. Three of the girls slept soundly while the fourth, Carina tossed and turned in her bed before sitting bolt upright, eyes wide and breathing heavily.
She rubbed her eyes to wipe the sleepiness away then peeked out from her drawn curtains to see if any of her roommates were awake. All three seemed to be sleeping in their beds still, unaware of Carina's sudden awakening. She sighed in relief, drew the curtain closed again, then laid back on her pillow, staring up at the top of the four-post bed in the darkness. The only light in the room came from the fiery stove and the moonlight drifting through the water of the lake they could see into from the window.
Carina wanted nothing more than to be able to fall back asleep, but she knew she wouldn't be able to. Her thoughts lingering on her dream prevented that. Actively thinking about the dream made her want to hex something though.
Perhaps Fred was right; she's violent when she's frustrated.
She quietly groaned and pinched her nose. Why did Fred have to come to her mind after the dream she just had?
In year three, she had taken Divination, and Professor Trelawney seemed to love having her students keep dream journals. Carina being a closed-off Slytherin that kept her thoughts to herself, didn't dream much, or at least didn't remember them at all, so most of the dreams in her journal had been faked. But for the past two weeks, the same reoccurring dream had been plaguing her thoughts. The last thing she wanted to do was psychoanalyze it.
In the dream, Carina sat by the lake reading, which meant knowledge before a big decision and was usually considered a good omen, except for how she was by the lake on a windy day, and the water was disturbed, which meant emotional turmoil, conflict, and aggression. And even then the green trees surrounding her and the lake symbolized new hopes, growth, desires, and knowledge and implied strength and stability.
Now, if that was the complete dream, Carina wouldn't be so confused; however, there were always two other people in the dream besides her. One whose face she could see, Cedric, and one whose face she couldn't see.
The presence of Cedric, her boyfriend, could indicate her contentment in her current relationship or with what she had in life, or on the flip side, it could indicate she wasn't getting enough from her love life and her need to belong and be accepted. The latter sounded more accurate, especially when coupled with the faceless person.
Seeing a faceless figure or person indicated a search for identity and a desire to know and understand others; however, what woke Carina up was finally seeing the face of the faceless person: Fred Weasley. Not George or both boys, just Fred. Fred smiling. And when Fred smiled in the dream, the wind stopped and the lake calmed. On top of smiling, he held a raven.
Ravens had symbolism across the board, ranging from knowledge to magic to creativity to mischief to freedom. But in dreams, ravens usually symbolized something bad, such as betrayal, disharmony, misfortune, and death. Even then, it wasn't necessarily the death of a person or disharmony in oneself or something else. It could be a symbolic death of a habit or phase or the dream suggesting someone is taking advantage of your misfortune. Raven symbolism was far more complex than anyone ever cared to admit.
If it was a crow, on the other hand, it had two options: death or a message. So, with that in mind, Carina should've been glad to see a raven instead of a crow. At least the raven was open to interpretation.
But a raven on the arm of a smiling Fred Weasley? While she rested against a tree with Cedric? Fred calming her surroundings and emotions when Cedric couldn't? That could only indicate one thing: a love triangle.
A love triangle, aside from the obvious of being in love with two people, indicating emotional conflict, a divide in attention and time, a lack of commitment to the current relationship, or a form of insecurity or jealousy.
Regardless of what a love triangle meant, Carina Lestrange liked Fred Weasley.
It all made sense. Carina often found herself looking for Fred's approval with just about everything. She wanted his opinion on things. She wanted to know what he was thinking. She looked for him in crowds and enjoyed watching him on the Quidditch Pitch when she was at the match to support Cedric. She hated being without him. She hated seeing him laughing with other girls. She hated seeing him on a date with Alicia on Valentine's Day even though she was having a good time with Cedric.
But, oh, Cedric. He seemed to understand her in a way many people didn't, even Fred. The Hufflepuff boy was kind-hearted, compassionate, caring, humble, and a calming presence to be around. He had an easy time bringing her mind to ease, except in the dream it seemed. He was open with her about his thoughts and feelings and experiences. They bonded over similar experiences regarding their overbearing parents, or well, godparents on her part. And boy, was he incredibly handsome.
Fred, on the other hand, made her blood boil. She wanted to hex him half the time or smack him upside the head. She rolled her eyes at him more times than she could count. He was sarcastic, loved breaking the rules, daring, mildly cruel, and spoke as often as he could. He was incredibly outgoing and instigated just about everything and anything that popped into his mind. But he was also funny, charming, and brilliant. Sure, he acted before thinking of the consequences, but that only made him endearing. He was fearless and didn't let other people stop him from what he wanted to do. He helped bring out those traits in Carina.
And she loved that about him. She loved the person she was with him.
Who did she want to be with: someone safe or someone challenging? She knew the answer was the latter no matter how much her brain pleaded for the former.
Regardless, she knew what needed to be done. She couldn't lead Cedric on. He deserved better. He deserved the world. But he wouldn't get that with her.
She had to break up with Cedric.
Just like in her dream, Carina found herself reading against a tree in front of the Black Lake. But that time she was waiting for Cedric to join her; he wasn't automatically there. Despite the cold nip in the air, Carina's palms were sweaty and her face warm.
She was nervous. She'd never broken up with anyone before. Cedric was her first boyfriend, and they had been dating for almost five months. Once they broke up, would they suddenly hate each other? Not be friends anymore? No longer talk? She didn't want any of that. They were great study partners, good friends, and excellent prefects. She'd hate to lose all of that simply because she didn't see a romantic future with him.
She ended up rereading the same paragraph three times before rubbing her forehead as a headache began.
"Are you alright?" someone asked.
Carina turned her head to see Cedric walking over with a concerned expression. How could she break up with someone so sincere and attractive? It would be so much easier for her to have romantic feelings for the kind Hufflepuff than the impulsive Gryffindor.
"Hey, Ced," she greeted quietly, closing her book and setting it aside. "Can we talk?"
"Of course." Cedric sat next to her and folded his legs beneath him. He could tell something was eating at her which wasn't like her at all to outwardly show. "Is something wrong?"
Carina took in a deep breath and shifted in her spot to fully face Cedric. Her heart pounded in her chest and her skin felt like it was on fire even though the air was incredibly cold. "I-We-" She winced, not completely sure what to say or how to phrase it.
He reached over and set his hand on top of hers. "It's okay, Car. I think I know where you're going with this."
"You do?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
Cedric nodded and squeezed her hand. "You've been dodging my kisses for the past week."
With a sigh, her shoulders slouched. "I'm sorry. I-you're amazing, Ced. You're so kind and patient and reliable and more modest than you should be. You're a fantastic listener and have an easy time making me happy, and it's wonderful, but I-I don't like you in a romantic sense. Not anymore. And I hate that I have to do this, but you deserve the world, and that's not with me."
While his face showed his sadness, there was also a hard blush overtaking it all because despite getting broken up with, she spent the whole time complimenting him.
"I hope we can still be friends," she told him then immediately went on to explain. "If you want, obviously. I'd understand why you might not want to. It's just, we were friends first, and I'd hate to lose you just because it's not romantic anymore, you know? Or maybe it's the last thing you'd want, and I shouldn't have brought it up at all. I'm sorry."
"Car, Car, it's okay." Cedric squeezed her hand again to get her to stop rambling. "Helga, you're talkative when you're nervous." Both chuckled softly. "I'd like to stay friends. Who else can listen to me list all the ingredients for Shrinking Solution or Wit-Sharpening Potion and not want to tell me to shut up?"
"Or keep you from falling asleep while on patrols?" Carina suggested, remembering the time she had to use the loo on their rounds and he fell asleep while leaning against the wall.
He laughed and nodded. "That too. Not my finest moment, but in my defense, I barely got any sleep the previous night."
"Yeah, because Hufflepuff was too busy partying. I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be the ones throwing outrageous parties."
"You've never been to a Hufflepuff party. I'm sure Gryffindor is tame in comparison." They laughed together. Cedric's dwindled into a fond smile. "This can work, I hope. It might be awkward for a little bit, but I think we can make it work. Now, you have one more thing to figure out." She looked at him expectantly, not sure about what he was going to say. "Do you confess your feelings for Fred now or wait until he and Alicia are no longer dating?"
"Excuse me?" she blurted.
Cedric looked at her deadpan. "It's so obvious."
"All fifth years will be required to attend a short meeting with their Head of House during the first week of the Summer Term, in which they will be given the opportunity to discuss their future careers. Times of individual appointments are listed below."
The Slytherin common room message board was crowded by fifth-year students trying to see what time they were meeting with Professor Snape. Carina didn't need to look at the board since Snape, during their previous session for Occlumency training a few days prior, had told her when they'd be meeting. Well, he had actually asked which class she wanted to skip for the meeting then told her with certainty what day it'd be on. She had chosen Herbology, of course. Merlin's beard, she hated that class. It was no fault of Professor Sprout's, Carina just preferred the plants to already be ready for brewing in a potion instead of taking care of them.
When the first week of May arrived, Carina waited in Snape's office in the dungeons as she had done in the past while he finished up with a Potions class. He would never in a million years allow other students to be in his office without him, but Carina and Draco were somewhat family to him, and he trusted them enough not to be stupid around the vials, potions, ingredients, and other things he had in his office.
She didn't have to wait long anyway. She never had to wait long.
When the grumpy Slytherin Head of House entered the office, the door closed behind him, and he made his way to his chair on the other side of the desk, sitting across from the perfectly poised Lestrange.
Carina's legs were elegantly crossed, her hands folded in her lap, and her back straight. Unlike many of the students at Hogwarts, she knew what she wanted to do after Hogwarts. Sure, it seemed silly for fifteen to sixteen-year-old students to start figuring out the jobs they wanted right after school when they turned eighteen, but some people knew what they wanted, many of those people being Slytherins. Slytherins were ambitious, determined, strong leaders, and achievement-oriented after all. They were motivated by success.
"So, Miss Lestrange, I'm going to assume you already have a career in mind and this meeting verges on being pointless," Snape said, foregoing a formal greeting and readying a piece of parchment and his quill.
She nodded curtly. "Yes, professor. I want to be a Healer at St. Mungo's."
That wasn't what he expected to hear at all. "Really?" he asked, looking at her strangely. "Not an Auror, entrepreneur, potioneer, or a Ministry of Magic worker, but a Healer?"
"Yes, professor. Specifically to treat artefact accidents or potion and plant poisonings." She had thought about it for years. She wanted to be a Healer more than any other job she thought of. It didn't necessarily need to be at St. Mungo's, but that seemed to be the most obvious place to go. Although, she didn't technically need a job anyway.
Snape knew he wasn't going to be able to change her mind about her decision no matter how odd her chosen career sounded to him, so he grabbed the "Healer" pamphlet from the stacks of job pamphlets on his desk and handed it to Carina. "Just so you are aware, to become a Healer at St. Mungo's, you will need no less than five N.E.W.T.s with either 'Exceeds Expectations' or 'Outstanding' in Potions, Transfiguration, Herbology, Charms, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. This will require you to achieve either an 'E' or 'O' in those subjects for your O.W.L.s."
"Of course, professor." She knew that already.
"I also recommend taking time out of your busy schedule to work with Madam Pomphrey in the Hospital Wing," he recommended. "By observing her work, you will better understand the duties of a Healer, and she may be able to give you a recommendation for a job or internship when the time comes." Ah, yes, using people to get what you want: an age-old tactic. "But just because you only need five O.W.L.s, I don't expect you to be slacking in your other subjects. I'm certain Narcissa and Lucius will think the same."
"Of course, professor."
After the meeting and the rest of her classes for the day, Carina went to the Room of Requirement to have privacy and a safe spot for practicing her spellwork. As the exam weeks drew closer, she felt the need to almost always be studying or practicing. She had to do well. She just had to.
Fred joined her shortly after alone since George was getting snacks from the kitchen and Lee was in detention for disrupting class the previous week.
Fred joined her in casting spells at one of the dummies but decided to make conversation with her as well. "What did you tell Snape you wanted to do after Hogwarts?" he wondered before he cast Incendio.
"I told him I want to be a Healer," she replied, casting Glacius to put out the on-fire dummy.
Fred lowered his wand arm in shock, looking over at Carina. "A Healer? What for? With your skills, you could be a renowned potioneer or Auror or something so incredibly out there, and you want to be a Healer?" He didn't realize how rude it sounded until after he said it.
"Is that so hard to believe?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.
"A little," he answered. He couldn't see her as a Healer. She was quick-witted and stern and aggressive. Those qualities better-suited someone in a more dangerous field. "You're not exactly the warmest person ever even with the skills for it. Why a Healer?"
She knew he didn't mean any of his criticisms in a bad way, and she quietly sighed at she thought over the answer. She had the same motivation since she first decided to become a Healer. "My family has a long history of being selfish and cruel." Carina turned to Fred with saddened wide eyes. "Would it be so bad to try and make up for it?"
His expression softened. "Not at all. It's admirable. I just think you'll find yourself bored." He gave her a small smile. "But you'll be a great Healer. I know it."
The corners of her mouth twitched up as she looked away from him, turning back to the dummy in front of them. If she looked at him any longer, she'd start blushing. "What about you?" she asked. "What'd you tell McGonagall? You had your meeting with her yesterday, right?"
"George and I want to open our own joke shop." Fred was almost worried to hear her opinion, so he focused forward on the training dummy. McGonagall hadn't seemed too keen on the idea even if she did still offer good advice on how to go about making connections and what they'd need in order to open their own business. She probably wanted them to focus on something more practical and realistic but didn't want to crush their dreams.
"Really?" Carina thought it over. "I can see it."
He snapped his head towards her. "You can?" He hadn't been prepared to hear support for their plan.
She could hear the shock in his voice. Lowering her wand again, she looked at Fred's awed expression. "Yeah. Bloody hell, what you two are best at is making people laugh. Of course, you'd go into something where you could continue it. And you're brilliant wizards. If you can find a way to bring the shop alive, I know it'll be successful. You can do anything you set your minds to." Carina took a moment to let a sly grin spread across her face. "And if you want an investor, I'd be happy to help. Anything to bring more joy into the world."
A few days before exams began, Carina was taking a break from studying while in the Room of Requirement with Fred and George. The three were laying on bean bags and staring up at the ceiling lost in their thoughts mostly surrounding the upcoming exams and end of their fifth year. Fred and George weren't particularly worried about how well they would do, only that the year was coming to an end.
Fred reached over and tapped Carina on the arm. "Tell us something we don't know to take our minds off our O.W.L.s," he requested.
Her face twisted up. "Don't pretend you're actually worried about them."
"Well, what if we are?" George asked.
"Yeah, Rina, It's not easy being so amazing at magic." Fred paused, picking at a fluffy on his shirt. "Come on. Tell us something."
Carina arched an eyebrow, trying to think of something. "Hmm, anything?"
"Anything," Fred repeated.
"Alright." She thought of a fun fact she had realized a few years prior and thought it might interest the two boys. "Did you know most people pronounce You-Know-Who's name wrong?"
George turned his head to look over at Carina who continued staring at the ceiling. "What do you mean?"
"You're not supposed to pronounce the 't' at the end."
"You're joking!" Fred blurted.
She shook her head. "I'm not. It's French for 'theft of death.'"
"Wicked," Fred and George chorused together.
"Wait, you know French?" Fred wondered.
Carina reached over and swatted him on the arm, not sure how he could ask such a question. "Of course I know French. Merlin's beard, my family hails from France." She thought that was common knowledge. "Narcissa made it prudent that I learned the language. Lucius wanted me to attend Beauxbatons."
"Well, I'm glad you didn't."
"Can you teach us some French?" George asked. He thought it'd be interesting to know another language. And he thought it might impress girls. Or it might be helpful in future business ventures. Either one.
Carina laughed a little. "You two really want to avoid anything that has to do with O.W.L.s, don't you?"
Fred raised his hands in surrender and smiled at her. "Looks like you caught us, love." Carina couldn't help but blush.
"But really, will you?" George pressed.
"I'll think about it," Carina conceded. She didn't think she'd be a very good teacher, but she couldn't deny them a simple request. She'd do just about everything for them. "Unlike you two, I have plenty of studying I would like to do."
Fred met her eyes. "Next year then?"
She loved staring into his eyes. "Next year."
The school year was winding to a close. Fifth years in every house were becoming more and more stressed with the onset of the Ordinary Wizarding Level exams as the results for their exams would determine which classes they could take for their sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts. Some students were more stressed than others, such as Cedric and Carina who knew they had to do well in order to meet predetermined expectations set by their families while Fred and George weren't worried at all since they cared very little about what they received. They were used to being the 'family disappointments' when it came to their schooling. Fred had also broken up with Alicia, much to Carina's silent relief.
By the time exams and the school year were over, students throughout the school were far more relaxed than they had been before until it was discovered that Sirius Black while having been caught for a few hours had escaped custody yet again.
Carina couldn't say she was surprised, but she did hate that Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup and the House Cup that year, but at least Fred and George were happy. They had worked hard for the Quidditch Cup. She also hated to see Professor Lupin resign from the Defense Against the Dark Arts post due to the information leak. Even as a werewolf, he was the best DADA teacher Hogwarts had in years. She'd always be grateful for him helping her with the Patronus Charm. She had displayed her proficiency at the charm during her DADA practical exam after all.