You make me wanna lose control
You make me wanna do some things, and I know they ain't good but I've overdosed

Pop a Pill - gianni & kyle

Brenda was nervous when she walked into the hotel lobby. Her palms were sweaty. All she had been thinking about was Sharon, Sharon, Sharon.

While Brenda had taken the personal day weeks in advance, Sharon went home for the day early, having finished her paperwork and no pressing cases currently needing her attention. Less time on the clock was appreciated by the brass; her proactivity would reflect well in the budget.

It was a good thing they didn't know she was being so conscientious of the time in order to fuck Brenda Leigh Johnson, their Deputy Chief of Major Crimes. She thinks that Will might actually have a heart attack.

Even though Brenda had the day, she waited a long time to leave before she left a note for Fritz that simply said, 'going out'. It wasn't entirely necessary, but it was more a precaution. Less chance of him calling or texting if he happened to come home early on her day off and find her gone.

Most of her idling was spent biting her nails and fussing with her hair before she actually drove to the hotel.

It's nearly Christmas now, and she worries about her Mama and Daddy coming to visit, looking at the festive hotel lobby. She always does. Shaking that off, she rubs a nervous hand down her coat as she stands in front of the elevator. Next time, they're doing dinner and wine first.

Under her coat, she wears a dress made of velvet, soft and a dark green, with long sleeves and a sweeping neckline, with black velvet pumps to finish the look. It's just on the border of appropriately festive and sexy - at least, she hopes so.

When she finally finds herself in front of the door number Sharon had texted her, she freezes up. Too many unflattering scenarios flash through her mind all at once, but before she can turn around and high tail it out of there, the door opens.

Sharon leans against the doorway in nothing but a robe. "Trying to convince yourself not to leave?"

Brenda's face flashed red and her mouth opened and closed. "I—" she started, and then she sighed. "I don't know if this is a good idea…"

"Do you want to come in and talk?" Sharon invites, opening the door a sliver. Brenda bites her lip.

Once you do this, you can't go back, a voice in her head warns her. It could be her conscience, or her Mama's, or Gods, or Eve's or the Snake itself — but she doesn't care. Brenda has always known what she wants.

And she wants Sharon.

"No," she murmured, stepping into the other woman's body, shivering at the warmth that she feels through her robe. "I know what I want."

Their lips connect not a moment later, though who initiated is impossible to say. Brenda nips at Sharon's lip. She pulls back just for Sharon to chase and she moans into her hot mouth.

Much better than some apple.

Sharon pulls her into the room and pins her against the door, wedging a thigh between her legs and stroking her tongue against her own. Brenda whimpered, tangling her hands in the other woman's hair. So soft…

Before she knew it, Sharon had the tie on her coat pulled open and was pushing it aside to look at her dress and how the fabric clung to Brenda's body. The older woman leaned back to properly view it and sharply inhaled.

"Off, off," she said, her voice deep and commanding and her hands pushing at the fabric on her shoulders and Brenda rushed to comply.

Sharon buried her face in her neck, kissing as much exposed skin as possible, rubbing her hands and dragging her nails across the velvet of Brenda's dress. "Gorgeous," she muttered almost in a frenzy, her eyes dark with lust and heavily lidded. "So gorgeous…"

While she trailed her hands down the dress she came to Brenda's arms, walking lightly over them to her hands with her fingers. "Are your palms sweaty?"

Brenda tried to curl her hands up, but Sharon slid her own against the other woman's, both intertwining them and pinning them against the door. "Mine are, too," she whispered. They were, and Brenda relaxed against her touch.

Sharon kissed her then, and they kissed, and kissed, and kissed. Brenda thinks they kissed until she went mad. She remembers all of those old novels her Mama had, when the main character, a Southern belle, who was impetuous and bratty, was told, "you just need to be kissed."

She never believed that… until she had kissed Sharon. Now she knows she did just need to be kissed - by the right person.

Sharon.

Her attention returns to the present when Sharon abandons her hands and tugs on the zipper of her dress. The next move was actually unzipping and removing the dress, which Sharon did herself with an aching slowness, tapping her fingers down Brenda's back to feel her skin jump.

And then she kneels, pulls her heels off, dropping them next to her on the carpet with a plunk . She presses wet kisses to each of her ankles and up her legs, heedless of the tights. And then she pulls her tights off, runs her hands up Brenda's legs, looking everything like a Goddess on her knees.

Brenda pulls her to her feet and kisses her, reaching for the tie on her robe. "Bed," she gets out between fierce kisses, and by the time they're there, Sharon is as naked as she is.

"Beautiful," she finds herself saying, but it doesn't register as herself, feels like someone else is using her voice, while her hands are clutching at hips and shoulders and sides, unable to get enough of, "Sharon…"

They tumble onto the bed and briefly wrestle for top, but Sharon is kneeling over her on the bed eventually and they stare at each other, each breathing heavily. Brenda expects her to kiss her, or touch her, or say something devilish, but Sharon does so well at subverting her expectations.

"Are we doing this?"

Brenda makes a face at her. "Are you seriously askin' me this now?"

"Just giving you an out, Brenda, because," Sharon swallowed, squeezing soft thighs gently, marveling at the other woman's body, "I am going to ravish you."

A blush rose in Brenda's body, and Sharon followed it with her eyes; across her chest, over the tops of her breasts and sloping across the sides, up her neck and even her ears.

"We're doin' this," she confirms, making herself comfortable on the pillows. And then she opens her legs invitingly, stretching her arms above her, blinking up at Sharon innocently.

Sharon didn't stop until Brenda was trembling under her, weakly pushing against her head but unable to resist her strong tongue and her fingers as she made her cum over and over again.

When she did come up, Brenda blinked slowly at her. "Holy cow."

Sharon couldn't help but kiss her; pleased when Brenda moaned at the taste of herself all over Sharon's mouth and in it. They end up snuggling, Sharon playing with Brenda's curls.

"Just wait, Raydor," Brenda warns while she breathes deeply.

Sharon shivered. The tone in Brenda's voice promised everything good. "I'm counting on it."

Later when they're both cleaning up and getting ready to go, Sharon decides to broach the subject with Brenda.

"Brenda, I… I was wondering if we could talk? Before we leave?"

Brenda felt her palms get sweaty again. "Yea-Yeah, okay. What do you… What's up?"

This can't happen again, your attraction is one sided, I used you, I don't want more, the things Sharon could say run through her head, almost racing each other in their speed to reach her first.

"I just wanted to know what we each expect from this," Sharon said carefully.

"Do we… expect anything from this?" Brenda asked. What she wanted to say was, ask me to leave him. Tell me you think about me the way I do you. Tell me I drive you absolutely wild.

Sharon breathed deeply through her nose. Brenda rushed to continue, "I would think an F.I.D Captain would be worried about her reputation should… this come out."

"I appreciate you looking out for me," Sharon replied. "But… I am not concerned with that. I'm not opposed to… to doing this again, if you aren't."

Brenda bit her lip. She shouldn't, she knows she shouldn't. But now that she knows what Sharon sounds like when she hits her peak, now that she's had her, she doesn't know if she can make herself abstain. Especially when she won't ever fully have her - not the way she wants. If it has to be this way…

"I would love to, Cap'n," she purrs, coming to sit on Sharon's lap. "How about right now?"

Sharon tried to protest, probably that they were just about to leave and they were both nearly dressed, but Brenda just kissed her. And just like that, her grievances seemed to disappear, clutching Brenda to her and kissing her breathless.

"Just… one… more…" Brenda breathes, kissing Sharon's jaw and popping open the buttons on the shirt she had put on.

Sharon just nods, completely at Brenda's mercy, clutching at her hair, her shoulders, her arms - anywhere she could reach, because her hands and mouth were doing deliciously wicked things to her neck and chest. She was slowly grinding on her lap, working her up all over again. Sharon felt hot, hot, hot all over.

"Brenda…"

"Sh, Captain," Brenda replied, taking a nipple between her teeth and then releasing it with a pop. Sharon bit her lip and moaned at the sensation and the sight. "I'll get there."

Against all odds, Sharon trusted her. Trusted this stubborn, bullheaded woman. Knew that even if she couldn't always see where Brenda was headed, couldn't always make out the path that she was going down, she would always trust her to lead her down it. Wholeheartedly.

This realization startled her, but made her need to be close to Brenda intensify. Her whines and whimpers increased. A hand snaked between her legs and came back wet, and Sharon nearly came when Brenda made a show of sticking her fingers in her mouth and moaning around them.

"Do you trust me?"

Sharon didn't hesitate. "Yes."

Brenda stood and cocked her hip. "Pants off, hands and knees."

She practically trembled with excitement. She felt her clit throb and nearly canted her hips just to give into its demands, but she complied with Brenda's request.

Exploring hands trailed over her thighs and buttocks and dipped into her aching wetness, earning a muffled groan. And then Brenda put her mouth on her, and Sharon thinks she sees stars.

"Oh, fuck. Brenda, Brenda, Brenda, please," she doesn't know what she's asking for, exactly. Just that it feels so good .

She's resting on her forearms now and every sound she hears, pleased hums and low moans from Brenda, accompanied by strong strokes of her tongue, drives her just wild with lust.

Brenda pulls her tongue away but Sharon doesn't have time to be disappointed because she replaces it with two fingers, and she practically sobs in relief. Brenda doesn't let up. She twists, rubs, and scissors her fingers in and out until Sharon's a trembling mess on the edge of orgasm.

"I'm, I'm, I'm," Sharon cries, clutching the comforter between her hands.

"That's right," Brenda murmurs. "Come on, Sharon. Come for me."

The low notes of lust in her voice is enough to send her flying, her vocal cords tangling somewhere in the middle of her orgasm. Brenda slowly brings her down, twitching and blissful, and happily licks her fingers clean before plopping down next to Sharon.

"You okay?"

Sharon forces one eye open. "Give me a minute and I'll be fine. Where did that come from?"

Brenda bit her lip. I needed to be close to you one more time, is on the tip of her tongue, but instead she says, "I just couldn't resist."

Sharon chuckles. "Well, outstanding work."

"Glad you approve," Brenda replied flirtatiously.

They kissed, but this time it was softer. They knew they really needed to get going now. Fritz would be home from work later tonight, and they were pushing the time in which Brenda had to get home.

"I'll see you?" Sharon says when they part, searching Brenda's eyes.

Both of them with so many things they won't say. Can't say, maybe. Both of them so afraid of losing what the other was already giving that they wouldn't ask for more. Too afraid to cede any emotional ground to allow the other to make a move.

"Yeah," Brenda replies quietly, gathering her bag. "I'll see you, Captain."

title from metaphor by the crane wives