4 days 6 hours and 17 minutes since he'd seen her. She hadn't returned so much as even a text message.
Beth was frantically worried about him, he wasn't eating or doing his rehab, the sad and broken man had returned "Charles you must complete your physio today. She's sitting down there waiting for you, now I'll give you five minutes to get yourself dressed and then I'll be back to help you downstairs" she's decided today that tough love was going to be the only way forward. She honestly couldn't blame Molly for her reaction to Charles' accusations, especially when even Elvis was vouching for her. After some investigation he recalled the night in question and although he'd watched Smurf try it on with her, it had resulted in him receiving a slap in the face. She'd never been back to Stockport after that.
Reluctantly he made his way downstairs, she was never going to allow him to fester in the bedroom like he wanted too so he'd do the rehab just to shut her up.
He barely even spoke a word to the poor physiotherapist who'd been every day in the hopes he would actually participate in some rehab. Although she wasn't sure that him laying on his back whilst she exercised his leg for him would qualify as a successful session but baby steps she thought.
He was distracted by a knock at the door "Are we done?" He winced as he pulled his leg from her "No Captain were not. You haven't actually done anything yet" "Then why is it hurting so bloody much" he snapped, Beth cringing for the poor girl.
Beth had never been so pleased to see her mop of dark hair through the spy hole "Molly?" She threw her arms around her "thank god darling. I'm so glad you're here. He's been a mess without you, truly he has" she ushered her into the kitchen, closing the door behind them "He's in the middle of rehab. First time all week, although he seems to be shouting more than anything. Can I get you anything?"
"A tea would be lovely thanks. How's he been?" Beth bit her lip "Not good dear, not good at all" Molly was shocked that they were suddenly friends "I'm sorry, but I needed space. He blindsided me" Beth nodded her head "I can imagine he did, but please don't hold it against him."
She could feel his eyes on her back, she'd been so angry with him but at the same time it had been her agony to spend these days away from him, especially when he needed her. She turned to face him; he'd lost weight in the few days apart. His tall frame leaned on crutches for support as he held his leg off the ground, he hadn't shaved or even slept by the look of him "Molly" he nearly choked out her name.
Beth excused herself "Sit down dear you don't look well. There's a coffee in the pot for you" she watched as he hobbled into the seat opposite her. She wanted to end this stupidity, tell him she loved him and none of it mattered. She was here to stay but he needed to understand the magnitude of what his accusations had done to her, he needed to know he could never do it again.
"You look awful Charles."
He sniggered "I've been without my nurse, my reason for getting up each day" he moved his hand across the table to find hers but she didn't offer it.
"You really hurt me. All my life I've been treated some little east end council estate slapper and that's exactly what you made me feel like."
He bit his lip "I'm sorry. I just needed to get it off my chest, it was festering inside me. I knew you hadn't and most importantly I knew you wouldn't. I know you wouldn't hurt me and I'm sorry, I've never been sorrier about anything in my life" for the first time in ages she really looked at him, the 6ft2 handsome, doe eyed soldier sitting across from her who has been so broken and who she'd worked so hard to put back together, how could she not love him? How could she not want to work it out "I love you Molly."
She smiled back at him "I love you too. More than anything" he rushed to his feet, his good one anyway with a wobble, grabbing the table to steady himself.
"Be careful you. Can't have you ending back inside now can we" she rushed around the table, her arms finding their place around his torso, her head on his chest "Don't ever hurt me again" she whispered.
"I promise Molly" she kissed him hard, his tongue searching for hers. They needed this more than anything.
"Upstairs now" she ordered.
Beth had loitered in the dining room in case he'd needed her but by the looks of them as they passed the door, all was well in the world again.
He sat himself on the edge of the bed, ignoring the protest from his leg as he pulled off her clothes, his hands finding her breasts. He'd missed her body and everything about her "Keep your bra on" he liked how her nipples teased him through the sheer lace or her bra, he rubbed his thumbs across them watching them spring to life. She pulled off his sweatpants to release his hard on, her hands finding their way around it. The ache between her legs was almost at exploding point, she needed him inside.
"Lay back" she demanded as he shuffled backwards leaning against the headboard "Touch me" he did as he was told, the wetness he felt making him even harder.
"Oh Molly. Take your knickers off" she threw them across the room, he touched her until he felt her body stiffen, and she was nearly ready
"Are you ready for me Charlie?" She straddled him, lowering herself onto his erection. Oh, how she'd missed this in the long weeks since his surgery. They didn't take their eyes off each other, his hands exploring the body that he loved so much, taking her breasts in his mouth. She sent shock waves through his body as she rocked back and forth, the pleasure in his face spurring her on "Come for me baby" they climaxed together, releasing all the tension of the last few days.
"I think that's what they call make up sex" she giggled, cuddling into him. Her fingers traced the scars on his torso sending shivers through him.
"I was so scared I'd lost you" he sighed.
"You never lost me; I just need time to get my head around things. We were never not together, I told you before this is it for me Charles, well as long as you want me anyway."
He smiled "I'll have you as long as you'll have me" they enjoyed the peace between them, wrapped in each other's arms.
"I'd best get dressed; I've got to go view the flat in an hour. Are you up to coming with me?"
He pulled her closer to him "No I don't think I'm up to it, but I don't think you should bother. Move in here with me. My home is your home."
She hesitated "What about your parents? They might not want me here after everything"
"They want you here Molly, mum suggested it, before I even got around to asking her. What's the point in you paying rent when you'll spend most of the time here anyway? You don't have to say yes right away, think about it. But know that my home is your home. I might even let you redecorate the bedroom" He kissed her head, wrapping his arms right around her. He'd been so close to losing her and he could never let that happen again.
The black sack over his face stopped the airflow. His hands tied above his head stopped him from freeing himself from this hell. He couldn't breathe anymore. His injured leg hung beside him, a point of weakness that they used against him at every opportunity. His body was hanging limp now. He'd given up on them ever finding him. He hoped Sam was young enough to recover, that Rebecca would meet someone who was good enough to be his dad when Charles didn't return home to him. He hit the ground hard as he'd released his hands, freeing his mouth and nose to make sure he was still alive and suffering. Another kick to his injured leg had him crying in pain "Please kill me" he pleaded "Just kill me" he screamed. She fumbled with the bedside lamp, her hands immediately shook him from his hell "It's ok baby. Oh god Charles, I'm here, you're safe" she pulled him into her as he gasped for air, sobs escaping him. She held him as tight as she could, his body dripping with sweat and tears.
Beth appeared at the door "Charles my darling" she looked on helplessly as he sobbed into the chest of the woman he loved. She'd had been the one holding him the nights before this one. She was hoping that the return of Molly would be what he needed to sleep easy again. "I'll get some water."
She held his shaking body for hours; they didn't sleep as she rocked him back and forth, feeling the erratic beats of his heart pound through him "Talk to me Charles"
The words caught in his mouth "I was reliving it Molly. Every night I relive it, I can feel everything they did to me."
She held his face in her hands "You're safe baby. And I'm never letting you out of my sight again. I want you to resign Charles, you can't do this to yourself again."
He knew this conversation would happen sooner or later, she'd never seen that happy part of his life that he owed to the army, the man that he was before the Taliban took the first bit of him and ISIS took the rest. She'd been left with a shadow of his former self; he wondered how she could possibly love him when he wasn't really there anymore.
"Could you run me a bath please?" She nodded, kissing his forehead as she padded across the room to the bathroom. She stirred in the bubbles left at the side of the bath 'Sleep aid and relaxation' apparently. She looked up at the man standing before her, his eyes red rimmed and tired, full of fear.
She held him as he undressed himself, he held her tight, leaning his full weight on her as he slipped his arms out of his crutches, passing them to her as he sat himself onto the side of the bath "Keep your leg out of the water yeah?" she ordered as she helped him slide in, folding up the fluffiest towel she'd ever seen to rest his bad leg on ,"these ain't no Primark job are they?" she giggled, desperately trying to lighten the atmosphere. The cool water across his hot sweaty body felt good as he laid back, washing away the salty sweat and tears of the latest nightmare. She sat herself on the floor next to him, her arm hanging over the bath sponging cool water over his chest. He looked like a child to her, vulnerable and needy but she loved him more than ever.
"We should get you out before you get cold" her soft voice brought him back to the here and now. He'd drifted again, this time back to the bridge where he lay dying. His strong arms lifted himself up onto his good leg, the fluffy towel placed where he should park his bum on the side of the bath. She wrapped him up, rubbing him warm again. He watched as she lovingly dried him, from head to toe like a child. The woman that this time 24 hours ago he was convinced he'd never see again.
"I need help Molly"
She nodded "I know Charlie" a weight was lifted from him. It was the first time he'd ever said the words, the first time he'd admitted he wasn't coping. She passed him his crutches "back to bed please, you need to rest that leg" He watched as his very own nurse fussed to make him comfortable, plumping pillows to gently lay his leg on.
"Come to bed please Molly. I'm ok" she eyed him suspiciously.
"Except you ain't though" she crawled into the crook of his arm "Talk to me please. Let me in" and so he did. He told her everything.
Every detail of what happened on the bridge and every gory detail of what happened when they took him. They cried together for hours as he told her about all the times, he felt like dying. How he'd wished he had the courage to end it all and be free of his physical pain and mental torture. He felt small and vulnerable to her, she pulled him closer, her protective arms keeping him warm and safe as he recalled the horrors inflicted on him, giving an explanation to every lingering mark on his body. He wiped her tears; ashamed he was hurting her more than he already had as he admitted the things that frighten him the most.
"I need you Molly. You are my only sanity in all this. When I'm with you it's easier to drown it all out, it's not just at night-time it's all the time. My head is full and I'm so frightened to just be alive" her heart broke into a million pieces for him "I'm frightened of how much I need you and scaring you away again."
She took his face in her hands "I promise I'm not going anywhere. We're going to fight these demons together, starting tomorrow. We're going to get you the help you deserve. It breaks my heart to see you like this" She never knew that it was possible to love someone so much that it hurt. It hurt to see him like this and it hurt to know there was nothing she could do to fix it; she'd take care of the physical side but someone else was needed to fix what was going on in his head.
"Thank you for telling me" she kissed him hard, wrapping him up tight in the quilt "get some sleep it's getting light out. And if your head gets full just hold me tighter and know that I'll never let anyone hurt you again" he wrapped his arms around her and she felt the tension lift from his body as he fell asleep. Her tears came fast now, she held his arms tight knowing the fight they had ahead of them. But at least they were in it together.
She barely slept at all, giving up at around 8am when she heard Beth pottering around the kitchen. He was peaceful looking at last, and he didn't wake as she slid out of the bed, the teapot calling her. "Rough night dear?" Beth placed tea and toast in front of her.
"Thank you. And yeah, really rough but I think he's ready to get help. It's like it's finally come to a head."
Beth sighed "well thank the lord for that" they both sat staring into their tea.
"I'm sorry Mrs James"
"Beth. Please call me Beth" "ok, I'm sorry Beth, for the last few days. I had no idea he was in this state. I'd never have let him go otherwise. I needed to sort my own head out."
Beth smiled "You don't need to be sorry love, we have to remember that we have our own needs too, we have to take care of ourselves at the same time or we'll be no good to him. There's two of us now, it will be a little easier" Molly couldn't get the sound of his sobs to leave her alone.
"It's heart breaking" She cried as Beth reached across the table to find her hand.
"It is Molly, it truly is. He's not the same man he was but take comfort in the fact that if you love him now, you're in for a real treat when we get him back."
She pushed down some cold toast "Did Charles speak to you about living arrangements?"
Molly was caught off guard " briefly yeah."
"Oh good. Well Molly I don't like the thought of you living alone. Not when we have some much room here. You don't have to say yes if it's not what you want but please know you are more than welcome to move in here. Whether that be in with Charles or a room of your own, I'd love to have you. And most importantly I know it would make Charles' day."
She smiled to herself "I'd love that thank you. I wasn't looking forward to a pokey studio that's for sure. Thank you."
Beth smiled as they were interrupted by the crash of a crutch flying down the stairs "That's one way to do it I suppose" Molly giggled as Beth marched through the hallway.
"Charles James you hooligan, you could have broken my vase" Molly couldn't help but laugh as a very boyish.
"Sorry mum" floated down the stairs followed by little thuds of him hopping one step at a time under his mother's watchful eye. "Honestly Molly you'll have to show him how to do this right before he breaks the other leg" Molly watched him take the last few steps.
"He's doing okay" she smiled as he met her at the bottom "Good morning you" he slide his arm into his crutch as he kissed her.
"Good morning handsome. You look loads better."
He nodded "I feel it" she slide her arms around his torso, not letting him move a muscle until she'd kissed him.
"Mmm what was that for?" He smirked.
"Just for being so bleedin' good looking" she laughed as he hobbled into the kitchen, the smell of coffee pulling him in.
Beth smiled as she watched them. A weight had already been lifted from him, this time yesterday she was forcing him out of bed, forcing him to eat and function normally. She watched as Molly supplied him with fresh toast and coffee and how they took every opportunity to touch each other even if it was just a touch of the hand. She couldn't deny that there was something truly special between them.
"I suppose it was always gonna get worse before it got better?" She was searching for some reassurance as she and Beth sat opposite each other in their usual position at the kitchen table. Another night of nightmares behind them. "Maybe with the therapy it just all needs to come to a head and then he'll finally find some closure?"
Molly checked the clock as she sipped her tea, 4am and she hadn't managed a wink of sleep so far. He'd finally fallen asleep as she stroked his hair. His body shook and he cried like a baby. She was completely exhausted after the last few weeks since he'd started his therapy. The sessions took it out of him and with his physio sessions alongside he was absolute shattered most of the time.
"May I make a suggestion Molly?" She nodded in anticipation of Beth's latest idea of how to make life a little easier "You're working yourself into the ground, What with Charles and working 12 hour shifts with the agency. May I suggest that you take a few weeks off from work? You know that we are more than happy to help where we can. We don't want any rent even though you've insisted on contributing. We put it aside for you, for when you and Charles inevitably move out together. I hope you don't mind?"
Molly was touched "You're so kind Beth. But I really can't live here for free."
"But you're not living here for free. You are looking after our son."
"He's my boyfriend it's not exactly a chore, I love him. I'd do anything for him."
Beth sighed, her point was being taken completely wrong "I know, I know. All I'm saying is please don't feel like you must take on those crazy shifts because you feel you owe us or anything of that sort. You're so young and you're tired. You have a lot on your plate, I just don't want to see you burn yourself out. And on that note, we should get some sleep" she squeezed Molly's shoulder on her way back to bed.
Beth was due to head away for work again imminently, something that she couldn't get out of. She felt guilty for leaving him but knew he was in safe hands with Molly, and Rebecca had finally pulled her head from her arse and offered to let Sam stay. Sam always brought out the best in his Dad and they hadn't seen nearly enough of him recently.
Charles had been worried that Sam would stir up old feelings within Molly. She'd found it difficult to adapt to him having a child first time round. He tried to reassure himself with the fact she was so young and that things were different this time. To his relief he was right. Sam and Molly had become inseparable in the hours that he spent asleep or at rehab. Sam was older now, a little more independent, helping Molly with chores while his dad was poorly.
"Molly, Do you think Dad will ever be 100% better?"
His question took her by surprise; it wasn't something she'd been planning on talking about whilst scrubbing the fridge. She was unsure how to answer him, or how Rebecca or Charles would approach the matter "I think all that your dad has been through will definitely have changed him Sam. But once he has learnt to live with it, you know when he's learnt to cope it will make him an even more incredible man than he already is" Sam nodded in agreement. He was incredibly smart for a 10-year-old, no doubt he'd been changed by his father's ordeal too.
"He is incredible isn't he Molly?"
She smiled at him "I definitely think so mate! And so are you, you're so much like him."
He giggled "I want to be as brave as he is when I grow up."
"You already are!"
His face lit up as Charles hobbled into the room "There you two are! What are you plotting?"
"Well Captain, I'm plotting how to spend your money at Tesco. You owe me some chocolate and coco pops"
"Don't forget the ice cream" Sam chimed in.
"I see how it is, taking advantage of an injured man. Well, I think I might need to supervise this supermarket visit, you two obviously can't be trusted" she smiled at the small victory of a trip to the supermarket. He hadn't been outside the house for anything other than appointment for weeks now.
"Right well I'll get showered then whilst you 2 eat your lunch, Don't miss me too much" she kissed his forehead on the way passed, leaving them to a serious debate about who would get the bigger piece of cake.
She lay in the dark watching 2am creep closer in the clock. It's usually around this time that it hits him, that the night goes to shit. His hand searches for her "Molly?" He whispers.
"Yeah?" "Why are you awake?" She didn't want to tell him that she barely sleeps anymore, her mind constantly worried about him.
"Dunno just can't sleep. Why are you awake?"
"Been thinking"
"That sounds dangerous James. Care to share?"
He sighs "I'm sorry for all of this. It can't be what you want in life" she turned herself towards him.
"What makes you say that?" she asked as she stroked her fingers across his scars.
"Why would anyone want the hassle of being with a man who spends his whole life terrified?"
She sighed "Why don't you look at it differently then? Why don't you tell yourself what a good man you are? That despite everything you've been through your still here and you're still fighting, you're amazing and the people around you love you no matter what you think of yourself. I'm here because I want to be Charles, I love you and I don't know what else I can do to make you feel secure in our relationship."
He wrapped his arms around her "You are an amazing woman Molly Dawes" he kisses her deeply.
"And you're an amazing man. Now piss off to sleep because I'm knackered" she sent him off into a dreamless sleep, wrapped in each other. Maybe things would be okay he told himself as he drifted.