He pretended like he wasn't watching the clock as the night continued. It had been wonderful to hear of how Arya was dominating the soccer league up in Bear Island, but Jon couldn't help listening with only half his attention. Would Sansa welcome him like the rest of the Stark siblings? Or would it be awkward between them? It would shatter his heart if she kept him at arms length, but he didn't know how he'd react if she smiled like always and stepped in for a hug.
His apprehension spiked as Catelyn called downstairs for Robb to come up and assist with his sister's luggage. Robb and Theon detangle themselves from where they were rough-housing with the two boys before trudging up the stairs- Jon on their heels. He took each step with unease, bringing him to the foyer and to the girl who caused him so much turmoil over the past two years.
He finally breached the comfort of the basement and saw her at once. A million thoughts rang through his head at the sight of her.
When she left, she had been a girl, despite her insistence she was old enough to feel the way she did. Well she was a woman now. She had always been slender, but what had once been scrawny had grown graceful and it wasn't a reach to see why the Lannister corporation had insisted she try her hand at modeling. Her bright copper hair was long and wavy, her blue eyes brighter than a winter sunset. Her skin smooth and perfect. And yet, she held an air about her that had not been there before. A heaviness on her shoulders and a darkness in her eyes. He had heard only good, but looking at her now, he could tell that her time away had not been the paradise she had projected. Looking at her, all he could think was that she looked exhausted. He could chalk it up to the long journey north, but something in her screamed of long standing fatigue and weariness. How could a girl so full of life return so beaten down?
Her smile looks practiced and forced as she makes the rounds, greeting each of her siblings with the awkwardness a long separation can make. He watches from a distance, allowing the family this moment unhindered.
When she finally meets his eyes, he sees a flash of something he never wanted to see. Shame. It cuts him to the quick and he almost staggers away as she mutters a quick hello before moving on. Could he really have absolutely ruined everything that they had just by trying to save her some heartache? From not wanting to force her to realize that she was, in all ways, better than him? That she deserved the chance to go realize her dreams and not have some bastard wannabe rich kid dragging her down?
"Jesus, Sans!" Arya teases, watching Robb struggle to drag in her luggage. "It's only a week! Can't you live without all 83 pairs of your shoes?" It's the lighthearted ribbing that had always flown between the two sisters that were nothing alike.
But the joke falls flat as Sansa looks quietly at the mountains of suitcases being pulled from the rental car.
"Well..." she hesitates. "I'm actually going to be here a bit longer than a week..." Confusion crosses everyone's faces, but she waves it off with a seemingly careless shrug. "We can discuss it tomorrow. Bran! I want to hear about how you destroyed Castle Black's Crusher!" Bran doesn't seem to notice that she is desperate to change the subject and launches into a description as to how his robot recently beat the rival school's in the 'battle royale' event of the season, Jon shakes himself from his self-pity and crosses the foyer to help Robb. It takes all of his willpower to walk past her and despite her attention on Bran, he can sense her stiffen as he comes close. He curses the day he tried to play at honor.
It really is a mountain of luggage and he and Theon groan as they empty out the rental's trunk. He can't help his eyes continuing to find her though as she tries to melt back into her family dynamics she's been missing for the past years. As they're carrying some boxes up to her old room, Theon shoots him a wry grin. "Can't look away, can ya? I don't blame you, she's not the knobby kneed little kid she used to be!" Jon wants to knock him down the flight of stairs, but instead trudges on, rolling his eyes, not wanting to give Theon the satisfaction.
"Don't let Robb hear you," he mutters and almost grins at Theon's look of terror down where Robb is still unloading.
But he can't. And he can't help but stare. Not just because she's beautiful - she was lovely before she left. But because he can't shake the feeling that something underneath that porcelain, practiced smile, that something is very very wrong.