Author Note: Just a strange little idea that kept nagging me.

Harry and Hermione were walking down the corridor holding hands. They were officially on prefect patrol when they heard a strange clip clopping echo coming from ahead.

"Does that sound like horse hooves?" Harry asked his girlfriend. "Do you suppose Firenze has decided to come up the stairs?"

"No he prefers to stay down on the lower levels. He says stairs and hooves are not a good combination." Hermione replied.

"Okay. Let's see what's going on." Harry drew his wand and moved forward. Hermione drew hers as well. This was their 6th year in the school and had learned by now to be rather wary of anything unusual and odd, unless it involved Luna. Then they just sighed and accepted it.

Coming around the corner the ran into Professor McGonnegal and Neville. Neville had a rope leading a magnificent chestnut riding horse. The horse nickered and whinnied when it saw them. Harry and Hermione both lowered their wands quickly.

Minerva looked at the two of them and nodded, "Good reflexes."

"What happened?" Harry asked as Hermione walked up to stroke the neck of the horse.

"Mr Weasley received a gift from his brothers. It had some rather unexpected results which will require the assistance of Madam Pomfrey."

Hermione stopped rubbing the horse to its displeasure and exclaimed, "This is Ron?"

Neville laughed, "Yeah. You should have seen the fit we had trying to get him down the stairs from the dorm."

Harry was trying not to laugh. "Oh. That's what they meant."

Minerva sighed, "Perhaps you could explain that comment MR Potter." The professor directed her gaze upon him.

Harry sobered immediately. "Uh Ron had been bugging Fred and George for a potion to make him, uh, well uh. A bit more endowed down below. Apparently Lavender has a size fetish and he wanted to get big."

The horse made some whickering an nickering noises.

"Well its true Ron and if it helps get you back to normal they need to know." Harry said.

Minerva frowned at Ron before turning to Harry, "Please continue."
"Well they wrote me they were going to send him a special potion. It would make him, well it would make him hung like a horse. So they wanted me to make sure Colin was on hand to take pictures and send to them for. For."
"Research purposes?" Hermione suggested causing Ron to stamp his hoof.

"Uh yeah. Research purposes. Only they neglected to mention it would turn him into a horse." Harry finished weakly.

Minerva rolled her eyes and said something in Scott's Gaelic. "Very well. Let us get him to the hospital."

Once they had delivered Ron the matron and professor McGonnegal had dismissed Harry, Hermione and Neville.

Neville was grinning thoughtfully. "So Lavender has a size fetish?"

"That's what Ron claims. I have no idea." Harry replied looking at Hermione.

She frowned, "She's never mentioned it to me. However we do not exactly have those kind of conversations."

Neville chuckled, "Oh well. It might be Ron's short comings disappointed her."

Hermione looked at the two chuckling boys.

Harry stopped and looked around, "Dean and Ron were arguing one night over something stupid. I forget what it was even."
"Which was better football or Quidditch." Neville said.

"Oh yeah. Still. Anyhow somehow Ron said Dean didn't have the balls to play Quidditch and it kinda spiraled out of control until Dean challenged Ron to a measuring contest."

Hermione held her face in her hand. "Oh for the love of. You mean they actually had a whose penis is larger contest?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck while Neville blushed a slight bit.

She looked at the two of them in a fair approximation of Minerva, "You all had a measuring contest?"

"Well yeah. Ron was saying it was a Weasley trait that all the men in their family have wizard staves not wands and stuff so we measured." Harry admitted chuckling.

Hermione took a deep breath before chuckling, "And let me guess Ron didn't quite measure up."

Harry looked at Neville who shrugged, "Well no. He came in last."

Hermione nodded, "Oh and who came in first?"

Harry looked at her with a amused scowl, "Oh and why does that matter?"

"Just scientific curiosity you know. The average size of an erect human penis is roughly five inches. So just for curiosity sake who won?" She glanced down at the two boy's groins then back up to their faces.

"Hey my eyes are up here." Harry quipped.

"Well you probably already know Harry's size." Neville said.

"Not really. Harry and I haven't gone that far yet." Hermione admitted.

"Oh. Well I came in first and Harry was second biggest." Neville admitted shyly.

"Well that's uh. Well. Congratulations." Hermione frowned, "Still though Ron must not have been too small. Or did you guys make fun of him for that."

"Well we didn't make too much fun of him. I think when he saw Neville's it scared him though." Harry said. "I know I was impressed."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "What is it with you boys and acting like your things are so huge."

Neville shrugged, "I dunno. I don't think about it."
"I'm comfortable with what I am." Harry said.

"Oh and just how big are you guys?" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest looking at the two of them in challenge.

Harry looked around and saw a broom closet, jerking his head towards it he said, "Do you really wanna find out?"

She looked at him then Neville in shock. Neither boy seemed to be hesitating as Harry was grinning and Neville was looking like the entire subject was tiresome. "Are you both serious?"
"No I'm Harry but I'm sure he'd approve of this." Harry joked roughly.

Hermione raised her eyebrow and taking a deep breath said, "Fine. Neville?"

He shrugged and followed her to the closet along with Harry.

===xxx

Lighting the small room up both boys stood opposite Hermione. Drawing her wand she said, "Alright drop your trousers gentlemen, I'll use a standard measuring charm."

Both of them shrugged and dropped their trousers causing Hermione's eyes to widen at the sight of both pieces of equipment. She felt her mouth drop open as she stared.

"You okay Hermione?" Harry asked.

Composing herself she squeaked out, "Uh yeah. Fine." Casting the charm on Neville she read the results then repeated the spell on Harry. "Wow. Both of you are above average. Well above average." She said licking her lips.

Neville replied, "Oh. Okay."
Harry shrugged, "Sirius walked in on me accidentally and said I was about the same size as dad. I'm not sure I want to know how he knew that."

"Right well. Uh. I better let you put things away. Unless you're going to have trouble with that." She said fixated on the twitching rods pointing at her.

"Well if you want to give a hand." Harry said cheekily.

Neville pulled his trousers up, "I like you Hermione but I think I'll go see if Lavender really does like them big."

Hermione nodded before stepping forward to Harry. Wrapping one arm around his head her other hand went down to his shaft and began to rub. Stroking hard.

===xxx

Neville came out of the broom closet adjusting his belt to find Professor McGonnegal walking down the corridor. She stopped and looked at him.

"That is not a lavatory Mr Longbottom."

"I know. I was. Uh. We." He stopped talking as the moans from within the broom closet began to become loud enough to be heard.

Minerva looked over his shoulder as if she could see through the door and then back into his face. "I take it Mr Potter and Miss Granger are the source of the noises?"

"Uh yeah." He confessed. His own physical needs having wilted under the stern gaze of the professor.

"Very well. I will ask you to bring the vial Mr Weasley used to the hospital wing. Quickly, assuming you still have the capacity to walk."

"Uh I didn't do anything with Hermione." He said, then winced as she raised her eyebrow at him. "I mean I. She and Harry."

"As long as the behaviors are consensual and responsibility is taken for any mistakes I am not going to meddle. Now be off with ye." She said making shooing gestures.

Neville took the hint and ran like the fire was behind him.

Minerva frowned as the rhythmic thumping from within the closet was accompanied by a high pitched keening noise. Casting a silencing charm on the door she returned to the hospital wing.

===xxx

Hermione felt Harry withdraw from her as she stood up from the sink she was bent over. "Not exactly how I envisioned my first time but still quite enjoyable."

"I didn't hurt you did I?"

Pulling her brassiere into position so she could button her blouse she said, "No, not really. No more than could be expected for the first time. Although maybe next time not quite so rough."

Harry nodded as he cleaned and put himself away. "Right. So there is going to be a next time?"

Hermione kissed him passionately. "There are going to be quite a few next times."

Harry grinned as they stepped out of the closet and found the headmaster standing there staring at a painting that was opposite the door.

Turning he said, "Ahh Harry, Miss Granger. Feel better?"

The two teens grinned slightly before saying, "Uh yes sir."
"Good. I fear your friend Ronald will not be quite as happy. It would seem that his brothers cut a few too many corners when they created their potion."
Hermione winced as she understood what mistakes with transfiguration could do.

"Ah I see you understand Miss Granger."

"How bad is it?" she asked.

"Well it would seem they mixed an animagus revealer and a poly-juice that was keyed to a horse to do this. Mr Weasley's pattern may never recover." Albus said calmly.

Hermione grimaced, Harry exclaimed, "Oh. So he may never be human again?"

"I'm certain they'll do their best but time will tell."

Harry snorted then started laughing while Hermione and the headmaster both stared at him, "Sorry. Its just he did get his wish."

Hermione rolled her eyes but chuckled while the headmaster joined in.

===xxx

It was the year 2005 and Hermione Potter walked into the stables. She approached a placid chestnut stallion and began to saddle him.

"Well Ron. Its too bad they couldn't find a way to reverse this. At least you finally have a harem. Something Harry never had." She said leading the stallion out of the stables. "Plus you won the contest and got the biggest one."

Ron whickered and whinnied as she swung her legs up and over his back.

"Yes I know you're very happy I ride you often too." She said with a laugh as she headed down the trails on the Potter estate. Past the mares with their foals.

Review Responses:

stoopiddawg: Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed.

Kimjo2: Thank you.

Dennisud: Actually while Lower Decks is cool. One of the few new shows I enjoy that idea came way back when seeing Barclay and Riker's holodeck exploits on TNG. Plus being a young male back then I thought what the main use of a realistic simulation of any female in the galaxy would be used for. No matter what point in human history or future history sex is going to be the main focus of the human psyche.