"I spy with my little eye something blue."
"Something blue?"
"Yes."
"Hmm… does it speak?"
"It does."
"Is it a bit of a grumbling cock?"
"For certain."
"Oh! Is it Gordon?"
"Ding-ding-ding! We have a winner!"
Alex and Hayden cackled like drug-addicted hyenas from their table at Vicarstown station with Kenneth and Sean. Gordon shot them a nasty glare while Meredith did her best to not giggle along with her crew. All of Sir Topham Hatt's engines were called to Vicarstown that misty fall morning for an important announcement. Emerson was on the other side of the station with James. His buffers were repaired the night before and luckily no one there seemed to question his story. After all; why would an engine such as Emerson get caught up in sexually driven discourse?
Sam had just rolled into the station with Rebecca joining him on an adjacent track. The two engines exchanged glances before Sam spoke. "So what's the boss man got all of us round up for?"
"I'm not sure." Edward said with a shrug.
"I don't like all this waiting around. It makes my firebox sputter." Henry added from beside Edward.
There was a chuckle from behind Gordon and Meredith. "Need some more special coal do you, Henry?" It was Thomas. He and Percy had just pulled in after coming all the way from Knapford goods yard.
Henry's face ran red and he kept quiet. Edward gave the engine a reassuring bump on his footboards. This little gesture earned Edward a questioning glance from James but Edward just laughed it off. His partner could be extremely possessive however Edward found that particular quirk of James' charming.
The engines all chattered for several minutes before Sir Topham Hatt appeared in the middle of the station alongside two strange men. Both men were dressed smart in tailored dark suits and polished shoes. They regarded the engines before them with sharp scrutiny. One man with a black goatee and slick bald head carried a clipboard stacked with forms and checklists. Each form had an engine's name, number, model, and class. The other man with a jagged face and combover carried with him a hefty set of manuals and blueprints. They were railway inspectors and were there to check that the railway and its engines were up to snuff.
Meredith glanced to Gordon. He looked nervous, which didn't surprise the tank engine. Gordon never did well with inspections. The big engine didn't like how personal the inspectors had to be, but it was their job to check that everything on an engine was in working order. And that did truly mean everything.
Alex leaned towards Hayden. "Who are the suits?"
"They're here to inspect the engines and railway." Hayden whispered back. By then Sir Topham had begun to explain to his engines how the week of inspections would work. The men were to check every single engine on the island and that was a time-consuming process. Of course not every engine was at the station, but the ones who were present were tasked to spread the word across the island. "The one with the goatee is Dr. Edward Blackman. He's a right prick who loves engines more than people. He usually works on the LNER railway. This is his first time I've seen him on Sodor." Hayden continued while the fat controller kept on with his droning speech.
"And the gentleman with more books than America's Library of Congress is Erik Erikson. No, I did not make that name up. Most everyone just refers to him as Mr. E." Kenneth added with a laugh. "He's a little nicer than Dr. Blackman, but not by much."
"Are you lot done?" Sir Topham Hatt called to the gossiping group.
"Yes sir." Hayden said with an apologetic dip of his cap. "Sorry, sir."
"Right." Sir Topham grabbed at his lapel with a deep breath before he returned his attention to his guests. "Do you know which engines you would like to begin with?"
"Typically we would begin in numerical order." Dr. Blackman stated with a pencil tap to his clipboard. "But I've been informed you recently began to allow your engines to have sexual relationships, yes?"
"Uh, yes." Sir Topham rubbed the back of his neck as a few of his engines laughed quietly at their controller's embarrassment. "Why?"
"Are there any engines in particular you may have some concerns over?"
Sir Topham's gaze immediately shifted over to Gordon and Meredith. They hadn't heard what the inspector said so they merely blinked. They didn't understand why his attention had abruptly averted to them. "I have a couple." Sir Topham said quietly.
Dr. Blackman followed the fat controller's gaze. "Ah, that's perfect." He noted Gordon's number and flipped through his mound of paperwork. "Let's see… engine number 4- 'Gordon'. A Gresley Class A1, though it appears he's been overhauled to A3 specifications. Is that recent?"
"Within the last year."
"What made you decide to do that?" Dr. Blackman made a few quick scribbles on Gordon's paperwork.
"Well, our passenger traffic had greatly increased in recent years. I figured an upgrade would help Gordon handle more coaches as well as a more stringent timetable."
"I see, well," the inspector bit the back of his pencil. "I'll start with him. Send him to the Steamworks and I'll be there promptly."
"Yes, sir." Sir Topham Hatt crossed his arms behind his back then looked to Gordon's crew on the platform. "Take him to the Steamworks for inspection."
"Now?" Gordon said. He never went first. "But- I have a train to pull."
"Sam can handle your workload until your inspection is completed." The controller was stern. He had to be with bull-headed Gordon.
Gordon let out a defeated sigh. "Yes sir."
"As for everyone else," Sir Topham Hatt turned to address the rest of his engines. "Go about your days as usual. You will be called to the Steamworks when it's your time to be checked. Be sure to be on your best behavior and on top of your game. I'll be taking Mr. Erikson around the railway in Winston to perform various safety checks as well as to watch your performance, so be smart about it, yes?"
"Yes, sir." All the engines said.
"Good, you're dismissed." The controller waved his engines on and the tracks were cleared just as the first train from the mainland had rolled in.
Down at the Steamworks Gordon's tender was detached and he was placed onto a lift. The big engine couldn't hide his unease and Victor gave him a smile of assurance. "It'll be fine, Gordon. It'll only be a few hours. The time will fly by."
"Can't you sedate me?" Gordon whimpered. Inspections happened only once every few years, but the big engine felt as if it was only a blink between each one.
"I'm sorry, my friend. It's necessary for you to be awake."
Gordon groaned and his bottom lip jutted out. It wasn't often the engine pouted. If Meredith had seen it she would've become so giggly. She thought her partner's pouts were precious. It was indeed a stark contrast from his usual cold glower.
"My, my," Dr. Blackman strolled up. "What's the matter, Gordon?"
"I don't like inspections." Is all Gordon said.
"That's completely understandable." The inspector had removed his coat and tie as well as rolled up his sleeves. He carried a pair of thick inspection gloves so as to avoid cutting up his hands on any sharp edges once he got into the more technical checks. Gordon eyed the gloves intently. He didn't remember those the last time he was inspected. "I'll need you to keep as still as you can manage." Dr. Blackman said as he mounted a ladder beside the big engine. A worker passed him his clipboard after he climbed onto Gordon's footboards. "I'll start with the easy stuff first. Your exterior paneling, rivets, cab, smoke deflectors; everything that can be accessed with minimal prodding. Again, please ward off any temptations you may have about shaking me off." Gordon merely grunted in acknowledgment. This didn't phase the inspector. He had inspected Flying Scotsman only a week prior so he wasn't surprised his older brother carried that same unwelcoming demeanor. At the very least, however, Gordon refrained from cursing him.
The exterior inspection went off without a hitch for the most part. When it came time to check Gordon's face he had to threaten the engine with bringing out a pry-bar to force his mouth open. The engines' clearly don't have bones, but their 'teeth' were a special type of pale metal that could wear down easily should they not be maintained properly. The inspector wasn't concerned with Gordon crushing him, however, all he had to do was shine a light over the plates to check for rust and damage. No need to put himself under the risk of being snapped in half. It had happened before with other A3's. The class of Gresley Pacific had a reputation for being particularly brutal, which is why only Flying Scotsman -and recently Gordon- remained.
Dr. Blackman had climbed back to the bay floor and gestured for Gordon to be lifted up. "Alright, Gordon. In order for this to go smoothly and quickly I need you to cooperate, okay?"
"Fine." Gordon sniffed. He ran his tongue over his teeth. The inspector may not have touched them but they felt strange all the same.
"Sir Topham tells me you have a special friend, hm?" The inspector popped his flashlight in his mouth as he checked Gordon's axles and pistons.
"How do you mean?" Gordon didn't like Dr. Blackman's tone.
The inspector slipped his gloves on and reached up to wiggle a bearing. "You've been intimate, yes?"
"…yes."
Dr. Blackman laughed. "I can tell. You've got a lot of fluid buildup down here." Gordon's face grew hot. The inspector continued. "When's the last time you've had your undercarriage deep-cleaned?"
"It's been a minute, sir." Victor chimed in. "He doesn't let any workers get close enough."
"Well it is certainly in need of a good scrub. He can damage his pistons by continuing to work with this kind of gunk." Dr. Blackman came to the panel that stored Gordon's sex and noticed the old rivet holes around it. He had seen many engine panels locked up, but none that had the restrictive coverings removed. There was rust starting to form in the holes. "Hmm." He ran a gloved finger over one of the rust spots and Gordon nearly lept from the hoist, startling the inspector. He quickly gathered himself and retrieved his flashlight from the floor. "What did I say about keeping still, Gordon?" The inspector scolded.
"Don't you touch that." Gordon said through clenched teeth.
"Sorry, Gordon. I have to check everything. Don't worry, I'm not going to bring it out." Gordon relaxed a little but held tight. He could hear the man's pencil writing furiously on his paper. "So, Victor, I need you to arrange with Sir Topham Hatt about having Gordon's intimate panels replaced. There's rust damage from a covering being removed that needs to be tended to promptly unless you want it falling off."
Gordon's eyes grew wide. "Falling off?!"
Dr. Blackman stepped out to address Gordon directly. "It's vital for you to let workers clean your undercarriage to avoid instances like this. You're lucky I caught it now because just the casing needs to be replaced, but should it have spread to the more fragile parts it could've resulted in a permanent loss. We just don't have the technology to replace your biomechanical parts so please, let the workers do their jobs and keep you clean. All of you."
"Right, yes sir." Gordon dropped his gaze. He was extremely embarrassed.
"As far as everything else it checks out. Your overhaul was very well done. You're in fine shape, Gordon." Dr. Blackman offered a sincere smile and Gordon merely sniffed. "Also until your panelings can be replaced -no sex. Don't wanna risk making that rust worse, right?"
Gordon's expression flattened. "Are you serious?"
"I am. Do you have a committed partner or is it just random fun?"
"Partner." Gordon said plainly. He didn't feel right saying 'committed'.
"What's their name?"
"Meredith."
"Well, I'll make note of that when it's time for her inspection. But I'm done with you so let's go ahead and get your undercarriage scrubbed then you're free to go."
Gordon huffed in frustration and watched the workmen gather their cleaning supplies. The inspection went even worse than he was expecting.
On the other side of the island Gordon's lover found herself caught up in the heated embrace of another. Meredith's breathing was heavy and she found herself shaken to her bearings by an engine whose movements were fueled by pure disdain and spite. It was Emerson. He had caught the little tank engine resting in their shed and was hit with a newfound energy. He had no deep love for Meredith and no desire to become her partner, but the big engine ravished in the rush felt in his pistons as he made her gasp and moan. An engine that would never be his and he was able to pin her with ease. Emerson couldn't help but chuckle. Too bad Flying Scotsman couldn't see them. He would love to see that LNER bastard's boiler burst.
So I'm starting to really delve into some major nuances of my AU here and I hope it's not too much to take in. I try to avoid too much exposition because I know it can become too cumbersome to read. I want to explain my idea with the A3s but I think I've explained it enough in the chapter for it to be blatant enough. That's a big flaw of mine: I over-explain quite a bit. That's the anxiety talking. I think those reading this are an intuitive group and can pick up what I'm putting down without me laying it out in a PowerPoint presentation. (At least I hope so. Lol)
Pretty Katydid; to quickly answer your question about Gordon's color. It's midnight blue. Specifically the Pantone 'Midnight 19-4127 TCX' if you wanna get real literal. I hold a degree in graphic design so I'm a bit of a Pantone freak. lol.
I really live for your analytical reviews. Your careful eye for those details challenges me greatly as a writer to the point I make it a goal to try and stump you but, man, you hardly miss a thing. I'll admit the whole 'say my name' bit was originally just me being extremely indulgent but as I was re-reading it before posting I thought: Hmm. This could be something. Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar, but turning a seemingly insignificant detail into something more is so satisfying. Especially when readers catch it. It feels like a major win as a writer.
In reference to Sam if you wanna hear his voice you can YouTube 'A New Friend on Sodor' and it's hardly over a minute long but it's there if your curiosity desires.
Also a story about EMERSON, I might cry. :'D I'm so excited that you enjoy my boy so much you felt the need to write about him. I can't wait to see what you come up with. I keep rereading 'How Spencer Lost His Groove' because it's so hilariously brilliant. Also, is that title a shoutout to 'The Emperor's New Groove'? I really hope so because it fits. A parallel of Spencer to the bumbling, over-cocky Emperor Kuzco? Incredible. I love it.
Anywhooo; that's enough rambling from me. I could've swore I had more to say, but my train of thought has derailed. *laughs* Seriously tho, thanks for the endless love and support! Ya'll are the best.
Much Love;
Bumble
P.S. racefangurl; I'm from America as well. Specifically the south, which would explain why I favor the southern accents with the American engines. Except Meredith, she's more midwestern but has moments where she sounds like an old tin of baked beans if she gets tired enough. But in regards to 'freight' versus 'goods' I'd say the terms both work well interchangeably. It's all a matter of preference tho so use whichever term you desire. :D