The Naughty List

Freed was going to kill Bickslow. Actually kill him.

When he had made the bet with Bickslow, he hadn't expected this. He had expected that he would win, and he could force his roommate to do the chores that he had been putting off for months. Or, at least if he lost, he had expected some ridiculous little forfeit like having to cook the man's meals until the end of the year. What he had not expected was the humiliation of being forced to wear a ridiculous costume every day and act as an elf in the local mall's Santa's grotto.

Everything about it was embarrassing. The false cheer he had to show to the children. The red makeup he was forced to put on his cheeks every day. The costume was made up of green tights and a cheap tunic that was uncomfortably tight and itchy. He would have rather run through the mall naked, at least that would have been over within a few minutes.

But no. Now Freed Justine, award winning author, was forced to be an elf every afternoon for three weeks. It was horrendous.

That wasn't even the worst of it.

No, the worst thing came in the shape of the sexiest man Freed had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. Working in the perfume store opposite the grotto, the blonde hunk with slicked back hair and dressed in a tailored suit was a direct contrast to Freed. While Freed was a ridiculous character forced to entertain snotty brats, the blonde was a suave stud who flirted with men and women alike to get his sales commissions. He was the picture of adult beauty, and Freed wore slippers with bells on them!

And, the nameless son of a bitch seemed to delight in pissing Freed off. First, it started with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smirk. Next, a morning greeting of 'hello gentlemen' that was clearly meant to show just how ungentlemanly Freed was in that moment. Then, there were the morning drinks.

Every morning, the blonde brought Freed a large drink from the local coffee shop. It was always the Christmas Unicorn Drink, a sugar filled mostosity, vibrant pink in colour with multiple candy canes sticking out from it. It was covered in whipped cream and was the most sweet, syrupy thing Freed had ever laid eyes on. Written on the cup each morning was a small message meant to grate on his nerves. They ranged from 'I know you elves need sugar to keep you going' to 'A pretty boy elf needs his cream, right?' Every morning the blonde would wordlessly hand him the drink, smirk at him while he drank his black coffee, before walking to the perfume store and showing off his incredible ass and broad back.

Little did Freed know that Christmas Eve would be a little different.

It started pretty much the same as normal. Freed was stuffed in the backroom of the grotto, glaring at Bickslow in his Santa suit while the other man painted his rosy cheeks. He adorned the ridiculous costume with a huff, trying to calm himself with the promise that this was the last day of doing this and that, as long as he didn't make a poorly timed bet with Bickslow again, he would never do it again.

Once he was elf ready, he left the backroom and stood at the door to the grotto, suffering the indignity of trying to get passing shoppers to visit Bickslow's santa. When he saw the blonde approaching, he felt his hackles rise and his body tense.

One more day.

The blonde had the same cocky smirk on his face that he always did. It was a smirk that made Freed want to both punch the man in the face and push him against the shop window and kiss him relentlessly. There was an annoying sense of longing when Freed realised that he wouldn't be seeing the smirk again. Apparently, the blonde was just as focused in his own thoughts as Freed was, as he failed to miss the 'wet floor' sign.

A lot of things happened at once, and to Freed they looked to be in slow motion.

First, the blonde slipped on the wet tiles, his shining shoes losing grip. He fell straight on his ass with an undignified grunt, followed by a thud as he landed on the tiles. Next, his grip on the Christmas Unicorn tightened in reaction, popping the lid off. The pink ice-slush became airborne, and the way his arm flailed meant the frappe managed to slop over his face, hair and chest, dragging out a shuddering breath. Then, his grasp on his own drink which thankfully wasn't scolding hot slipped, and clattered over him; his crotch in particular.

For a moment, there was silence. The last minute christmas shoppers turned to gawp at the well dressed man, covered in pink slush and coffee. Freed had perhaps history's biggest shit eating grin on his face.

Freed sauntered over to the blonde, the bells on his slippers acting like the harbingers of death for the man's dignity. He walked so that his shadow was cast over the blonde, who had wiped the frappe partially off his face. It was staining his white shirt, completely ruined his hair, and was clinging to his sharp facial features. From where he stood, Freed could see just how unfortunate the coffee splash on the man's crotch had been. He definitely looked like he had peed his pants.

"I'd offer to help," Freed began, and the blonde looked up at him. "But Santa told me you're on the naughty list this year, and as such my holiday magic doesn't extend to you."

Some of the shoppers sniggered, and Freed glared at them. He felt like he owed the man a bit of embarrassment after nearly a month of his teasing, but these random people needed to mind their own damn business. The glare must have been particularly nasty looking, given that even in his costume and makeup he still managed to make them scuttle away. It was just Freed and the blonde, who was still on the floor.

"Lucky for you, this elf prefers a man on the naughty list," Freed lowered his tone to a more flirtatious lilt. "And given we've both seen each other embarrassed now, maybe it's time we see each other at our best."

"What d'you mean by that?" The blonde asked, seemingly in a trance at his situation, running his hand through his hair to try and get the frappe out.

"I suggest that we meet for a drink tonight at Blue Pegasus," Freed said with a confident smirk. It was amazing how quickly he felt like he was on an even footing with the man now that he had seen him without his air of superiority. "I can prove to you that I'm just as good a dresser as you when I'm allowed to choose what I wear, and you can regale me with stories of being a salesman with wet pants and crushed ice and sugar in your hair."

"You asking me out on a date?" The blonde questioned.

"I am," Freed said, taking pity on the man and offering him a hand to help him up. The blonde took it, and Freed was thrilled by the effort it took to help the man rise. He was heavy, and it was all muscle. "Freed."

"Laxus," The blonde introduced.

"A pleasure to speak with you," Freed grinned. When he spoke again, his words were laced with sarcasm. "Enjoy your shift. I hope it's not too uncomfortable."

"Yeah yeah," Laxus laughed it off, and the confidence in the man sent a shot of attraction through Freed. "You sure you're gonna be able to meet me tonight? Though you elves were a little busy on Christmas Eve."

Freed chuckled at that. "You're not the only one on the naughty list, Laxus," He promised with a wink. "I'll see you at eight."

"Guess you will," Laxus grinned.

And then, just like Laxus had done every day for weeks, Freed turned on his heel and walked towards his store. In the window he saw Laxus watching him as he walked away, and he couldn't fight the grin. Suddenly, everything that happened over the last month had been worth it.