AN: Hello, fanfiction and Harry Potter fans. I do not own Harry Potter, but feel free to enjoy this or hate it. If you enjoy it, please leave a lovely comment, if you hate it, then leave some constructive criticism, thanks!

Can You Take the Jump?

Chapter 15

Hermione fidgeted with the string around her wrist as she walked out of the library. Lily was waiting for her, glaring down the hall where the Marauders were now boisterously talking about Quidditch. Hermione glanced at her sister's bare wrist, trying to remember if she had her bracelet on at King's Cross Station on September 1st or if it was truly bare like James had claimed. Was Lily truly lying about meeting Diggory first, after her bracelet was broken? Did she despise James that much?

"I'm sorry you got more detention because of me." Lily linked her arms around her sisters. "I can go tell Madame Croft that it was me making noise and you're just an innocent bystander."

She shook her head, "It's alright. What's one more night of detention? At this point, it's a habit. I wouldn't know what to do in the evening without my daily dose of detention." Hermione replied.

Lily shook her head at her sister's nonchalance towards punishment. The detentions that her sister usually served were because she was either sleeping in class, not handing in homework or not applying herself, but Lily knew better. She knew Hermione struggled with sleep and often slept less than 5 hours, most of which were broken by nightmares before being forced to face the next day. Despite the smiles she gave, she knew Hermione was exhausted to the bone and running on potions most of the time.

"I'll make it up to you," Lily promised. "How about I take a look at your charms essay. There's still over an hour before lunch, do you want to just go to the Great Hall and finish up our work?"

"How can I say no to such a generous offer?" Hermione nodded, smiling along with Lily's infectious happiness.

The enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall had a slightly cloudy sky with the illusion of snow falling, but never hitting the rows of tables in the room. It wasn't yet lunch, but there were handful of students that sat around the Great Hall either doing their homework or chatting with their friends.

Hermione noticed Regulus Black sitting next to Rosier. Apparently, he hadn't heeded to her warnings in the beginning of the year, but the pickings for good friends in Slytherin House were slim to none.

Her gaze turned to the group of fifth year Slytherins in lounging at the Slytherin table. Not a single Slytherin had touched her in nearly 3 years, but that didn't mean she wasn't cautious of them. She always made sure to keep an eye out for any rogue Slytherins, but whatever Malfoy had done in her first year it was incredibly effective. The rumor mill had guesses on what her deal with Malfoy was, but the majority assumed she'd bribed him with an astronomical amount of money. What a laugh.

Hermione slid into the seat next to her sister at the Gryffindor table. The students around her greeted her with smiled and little waves.

The first time she sat at the Gryffindor table, there were whispers and glares from all directions, but as time passed, people slowly started accepting Hermione's presence.

Lily took out Hermione's charms essay and gave it a quick look over, making sure to add a few notes and pointers, but as usual, Hermione's work was impeccable, yet vague. Once she returned her sister's essay back, she took out her own books and started working on the Transfiguration homework that she'd been doing in the library before she'd been rudely interrupted. Only a moment later, the Marauders sat down a couple of seats away from them. Each boy gave the twins a glance at one time or another, but tended to mind their own business, waiting for lunch to appear. James fiddled with his hair, Peter had fallen asleep on Sirius's shoulder, Sirius was trying draw on Peter's face with permanent ink and Remus worked on his homework.

Hermione privately watched the boys interact. There was no doubt that they were extremely close. There would be no use of trying to separate Peter from them now. Her eyes strayed from the group the surrounding people to notice that the boys had attracted the attention of several girls. Unlike old Sirius's hyperbolic story-telling about his Casanova-like popularity, not all girls stared hungrily at the group, but a notable number. It was easy to understand why they had such inflated egos.

As if he could sense her gaze, Sirius looked up from his doodling attempts. Instead of feeling shy from being caught staring, she raised a finger to connect her two brows together and mouthed 'unibrow'.

Sirius barked a laugh and etched several lines to connect the space between Peter's brows together. He looked back to see if she was satisfied and she gave him a thumbs up.

Both of their attention snapped away from each other at the same time when Lily groaned and threw her quill down in frustration. The Gryffindor redhead fumbled around to grab her textbook, but just before she could also fling it, Hermione grabbed her sister's wrist with lightning speed and forced the Transfiguration book out of her hands.

"You did it successfully a few times." Hermione reassured.

"What's the point of doing it well a few times!?" She complained. "Hermione, help me…"

"Lily, my mark in Transfiguration is worse than yours."

"But you did it before! You made it look so easy. We're twins, maybe if you teach me how to do it, I'll get it faster."

"Lily, it's not like I'm doing a different spell, you're doing fine. It just takes practice." She tried to wave off the request, but guilt stabbed her when she saw Lily's pout and her puppy dog green eyes.

Like mother like son.

"Fine," Hermione sat up and pulled out her wand. Wary of the stares on her, she pointed at the book Lily was just about to throw. "I'm doing this once so look carefully."

Lily nodded quickly.

With a flick of her wand, the brown book shook, then morphed into a furry white bunny. Its ears were long and dragging on the table as it hopped around, sniffing the dining table, as if it'd been there since the beginning.

Lily, who'd seen the phenomenon before, focused on her sister's wrist, but she could feel the eyes of everyone else staring in awe. James, the student with one of the highest marks in Transfiguration in their year, looked at the rabbit, then Hermione, then at the rabbit once more.

"Wow." James awed with amazement.

Remus nodded, agreeing with James as he let out a laugh of disbelief.

"What's happening?" Lily asked, "Why are you all acting weird?"

Sirius, who'd been silenced by Hermione small feat of magic, let out a small huff of laughter.

"She transfigured a book into a rabbit." Sirius spoke as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, but when Lily wore the same confused look on her face, Sirius let out an exasperated sigh. "Come on, Evans, think. We've been turning mice to snuffboxes, porcupines to pin cushions, beetles to buttons etc. What do all these things have in common?"

Lily frowned, suddenly feeling as if she was being quizzed on something she hadn't studied for. It was very unpleasant.

"We're all transfiguring things that are alive to objects. Why? Because snuffing out life, even if brief, is easier than creating it. Why do you think all of us were given potted plants to practice on? Your sister didn't just transfigure an inanimate object into a bunny, she did it to perfection. Look at it. It has all of its functions, more than one jump in it, look at its ears, look how big they are, they're practically pushing the limitations to Transfiguration."

Now it was Lily's turn to stare at Hermione with the same look of amazement.

"Look how white it is, too." Remus mention, enthralled by the white fluffy animal. "I would call you a liar if you told me that it came from a brown transfiguration book. It's perfect, I don't see a strand of brown, or even a hint of ink."

"The way you held your wand," James noted, he tilted his head to the side, examining her hand. "Where'd you learn to hold it like that? It's not the standard."

"What's wrong with how she holds her wand, mate?" Sirius asked as he looked down to see how he held his wand.

"It's how Aurors are trained to hold their wands to increase accuracy when they're dueling, but it's awkward. It's no one's first instinct on how to hold their wand unless you get into a habit of holding it like that" James replied. "It's how my dad taught me to hold my wand as well."

Suddenly the attention of the Marauders caused a domino effect across the Great Hall, where everyone began to look and whisper about Hermione's display of magic.

While the boys were distracted at the way James was holding his wand, Lily glanced back at her sister. Surrounded by the Marauders, Hermione looked swamped and overwhelmed by the attention directed towards her. Her sister was practically trying to sink into the floor, but despite her discomfort there was an odd bubbling sensation in Lily's stomach as she watched her sister become the center of attention. Lily knew it was wrong and she knew it was bad, but her gut turned harder and harder at the sight of the Marauders fussing over her sister.

"Okay," Lily slammed her palms onto the table, causing everyone in the vicinity to jump. She blinked, surprised at her own outburst. "Y-you can stop bothering my sister, Potter."

Lily expected James to complain like he always did, but instead he glanced back at Hermione. Perhaps it was the way they shared a glance as if they were in on a secret she didn't know of, but in that moment, the odd bubbling sensation turned ugly.

People didn't understand what it was like to grow up with Hermione. Her twin sister was perfect in every way except being sick, but that only made their parents more attentive and doting of their well-spoken, well-mannered, obedient and diligent child. Even when Hermione wasn't home, their parents couldn't take a minute to stop thinking about their youngest daughter.

Petunia, although only 2 years older than them, often played the part of Lily's mother, brushing her hair, helping her get dressed, and preparing breakfast (even if it was just toast and jam). While it developed a sense of comradery between them, it also built resentment. In Petunia's eyes, Lily had taken away her chance at being a child. On top of feeling sorry towards her older sister, Lily also felt tremendous guilt for being the healthy twin, as if it had been a choice who would be healthy or not.

School was a haven for Lily. It was somewhere she could shine. She soaked up the praises and attention from her teachers and professors like a sponge and was thriving on the love she felt that she got for just being her imperfect, yet hard-working, self. Until, that is, she realized her sister's experiences of school were anything but stellar. Suddenly, school became yet another source of guilt and even a selfishness. To ease the pit in her stomach, Lily opened her arms to her sister, inviting her into her spotlight. She knew it was the right thing to do, yet she couldn't help it when the green monster grumbled in her chest at the sight of people swarming around her sister.

It wasn't that Lily didn't want her sister to be loved. She did, she truly did. She knew her sister deserved to be loved just as much as she did, but…

"What makes Charms so much easier for you?" Hermione asked, surprising Lily out of her thoughts.

"Huh? What?"

Lily shook when she realized what she was thinking. She knew people were watching, but the only pair of eyes that Lily could see was her sister's knowing gaze. They made her feel naked; vulnerable and exposed. Although Lily never told her, she had a feeling Hermione knew her terrible selfishness and jealousy. A part of her felt frustrated. She wanted Hermione to yell at her and be angry for being so horrible, but at the same time, she was thankful that Hermione kept quiet. No one liked their worst traits getting exposed.

"Evans?" James asked, shaking his hand in front of her dazed face.

"Oh, charms." Lily shook her head, trying to focus. "I guess it just feels more…magical? Um, transfiguration is all formulas and precision and specific… Am I making any sense?"

"Formulas…" Hermione mumbled. "Maybe that's the problem. Stop thinking it as formulas and letters. All those formulas and those rules are great for theory, but practically, they're useless. You're rationalizing magic, but that in itself is irrational. Gamp's Law claims you can't conjure food from nowhere, but what if you don't want to use it for food? What if you want to use it just to give the scent of citrus in your room or you want to write on a lettuce?"

"Why would I ever want to write on a lettuce?" Pettigrew giggled at the ridiculous thought.

"I don't know." Hermione shot back more aggressively than intended. "But it's certainly not the most ridiculous thing I've seen in the Wizarding world. Why do we have to use parchment and quill with a pot of ink instead of paper and pen? We live in the 20th century. Why still use owls? Why does 17 Sickles make a Galleon and 29 Knuts make a Sickle? Why fly on a thin, narrow, and uncomfortable broom?"

"I-I don't—" Pettigrew replied, surprised at the angry defense.

"Exactly." Hermione stressed. "Nothing in the magical world makes sense. Magic is completely illogical. It defies the laws of science, so by telling students that Transfiguration is possible through formulas, arithmetic, pronunciations and specific wand waving just isn't true. People with different accents emphasize different sounds, but still manage to produce the same magic." Hermione urged. "In the heat of a duel or in a dire situation, do you think the witch or wizard is going to really care about their wrist movement? Absolutely not."

"Holy shit, Evans, I think your sister might be on to something." Sirius leaned forwards, pulling Pettigrew into a headlock. "Mates, everything we're learning is complete horse shit. We should just drop out of school right now!"

Remus smacked Sirius. "It's not completely useless. It's guidance."

"That's right. It's structure for more empirical subjects like transfiguration." Hermione agreed. "The curriculum has been developed for centuries to help students who don't have an inherent talent for specific fields of magic." Hermione explained. She turned back to Lily with a small smile, "But your issue isn't that you don't have talent. Your issue is that you're simply overthinking. Weren't you still able to do the magic you wanted before Hogwarts, without all these theories, spells, or wrist movements?"

"Accidental magic." Clarity dawned on Lily's face. "You're right. I really did want Ms. Bingham's hair to be purple. Well, not purple specifically, but definitely not blonde. She was nasty to me, calling my hair the devil's hair." Lily ran her fingers through her ginger locks. "So, you're telling me that magic is done by intention? All I have to do is intend my book to turn into a rabbit?"

Hermione nodded, "The most powerful magic in the world is fueled by equally powerful emotions. All you have to do is want it. You have to…you have to mean it."

Those words resonated in Hermione's mind, bringing forth a memory she had suppressed for many years. A much older and much crazier Bellatrix was cackling over her body while Hermione's memory-self screamed in excruciating pain. All the sedatives and calming potions in her body seemed to suddenly have no effect, as if her magic had burned right through them by the sheer force of her memory. She bit her tongue to prevent screaming as she gripped her left arm as phantom pain spread where the word MUDBLOOD was carved into her. She could taste blood in her mouth, but it didn't matter as she bit harder when her head exploded in pain from the memory of being tortured, causing her breathing to shallow and vision blur. Cold sweat broke from her forehead and neck and she started to shake.

"It's a rabbit!"

Hermione jumped at the noise, quickly pulling out her wand as her instincts dictated. Lily's exuberant smile quickly turned into a frown at Hermione's reaction.

"Congratulations." Hermione managed to say, but everyone's eyes widened as the shadows grew darker and darker underneath Hermione's eyes and her overall complexion turned from rosy to dull, pale and pasty.

Remus who was sitting next to her tilted down to get a proper look, but flinched when he saw her eyes. Her usual hazel eyes were onyx black, leaving no white that usually surrounded the iris.

"Hermione?" "Evans?" She heard the group call to her, but she couldn't form a response. Hermione heavily swayed while her shallow breathing spiked and turned erratic. Then the world went dark.

…

When Hermione's eyes cracked opened again, she found herself in the one room she hated being in the most; the Hospital Wing. Pushing off the staple white linen sheets were tucked around her body, she got up. Her head pounded as she tried to remember what happened last.

Oh right, she'd fainted in front of all those students.

Hermione looked around, but no one was by her bedside. She touched the stool next to her to find it still warm. Someone was here recently watching over her.

"You gave us quite a scare."

A wizard wearing a bright red dress robes with phoenix embroidery stepped out from behind the curtains. His long white beard reached down to his belly and was tied together with a little bell. His half-moon glasses remained on the tip of his nose as he peered through them to look at her.

"Headmaster Dumbledore," Hermione cordially greeted, though her fists were clenched underneath the sheets. "Where is Lily?"

"Your sister is waiting outside with the rest of the Gryffindors. She was the one who ran to me to notify of your presence here. I don't often visit students who are sick in the Hospital Wing, but I wished to speak with you about this." He lifted up a vial of her Dreamless Sleep Potion.

"Where did you—" the words escaped her mouth before she could stop them.

"Get it?" He finished the question for her. "Healer Black was here."

"Fuck."

"Language." He reprimanded half-heartedly, mostly as reflex from being an educator to children for years, but he agreed that this was a good moment to use such a word.

"He left quickly after you were stabilized. He had an urgent patient to take care of, but he promised to be back later." Dumbledore's voice was barely above a whisper. "I assume you know what this potion is doing to you."

Albus Dumbledore carefully watched the child sitting on the bed, she hadn't met his eyes. At this point, he knew Hermione was aware of his talents for Legilimency probably before she stepped into this school. However, even if she did meet his eyes, he knew Hermione Evans's mind was like Gringotts' security on Pepper-up Potion. There was no crack, no fault or even a sliver of space to peak through. There was no way to see what was going on in that mind. Instead, he tried to gage her emotions or thoughts by her body language, but other than her frown, he couldn't read anything else.

"All the medication you take is poisoning your body…"

"Professor Dumbledore, I'm more aware of my impending death than you could possibly imagine."

Dumbledore stared at the girl in front of him. Of course she would know. Growing up with Healers at St. Mungo's, she would be better informed about her condition than he was.

"What do you wish to do?" he finally broke the silence.

"Do?" She let out a small laugh. "Is there anything that can be done? I'm dying."

The Headmaster stayed silent.

"My goal hasn't changed since I first stepped into your office in 1971. I need it to attend Hogwarts."

"Hermione," Dumbledore shook his head. When he first heard her diagnosis, he couldn't believe his ears. He was so sure that this girl was either going to be the next hero of the century or the next villain of the millennia. It was why he'd kept her so closely under supervision. Instead, she was dying. How could he have missed this?

"You should worry about your health."

"Are you insinuating that you're more worried about my death than me?" Hermione challenged. "My health is my concern and my burden."

"You would leave your family and Alphard to bury their daughter?" Dumbledore asked, shocked by her cruelty.

Hermione fell silent, her face not giving away any emotions at the Headmaster's words. She contemplated not telling her, but she couldn't risk him mentioning anything to Lily. "My family doesn't know, Professor, and it must stay that way. My healers know that this is my wish and they've come to respected it, and I trust that you will too, Headmaster."

Hermione, could see Dumbledore was hesitating, contemplating on whether he should respect a dying girl's wish against his better judgement. The moment and expression of uncertainty was something she'd never actually witnessed him do. For the first time in her life, he felt incredibly real. Not as someone she put on a pedestal as a Headmaster or the leader of the Order of Phoenix, but a regular old man who faltered at the thought of failure or mistake.

He slowly nodded, coming to some sort of conclusion in his mind. "I will leave you to rest. I…I hope you know what you're doing." Without another word or glance, the old man turned and left the Hospital wing.

Soon after the Headmaster's departure, a swarm of students wearing Gryffindor ties stormed into the infirmary.

"Are you alright?" Lily was the first to reach her. She made no attempt to hide the fact that she'd been crying, tear track streaming down her face, sniffling and blubbering beside her. With no effort at all, Lily managed to make Hermione feel like the worst human being.

"I'm fine now." She reassured. "How long was I out?"

"About 4 hours?" Sirius looked at his expensive timepiece to inform her.

"Could you pass me my chart?" She pointed to a long piece of parchment at the foot of her bed that was now stuck between her bed and Pettigrew's bottom. Remus pulled the parchment out from underneath his friend to hand her the paper that documented her vitals for the hours she'd been unconscious.

She could see that Alphard had managed to administer Dreamless Sleep around 10 minutes after she fainted. He'd given her the maximum dosage, but she'd only slept for 4 hours. It would show Alphard that her potion wasn't working anymore. She pondered on whether to hide her record, but stopped her thoughts when she realized that there was no point in denying it. He would find out eventually. There was nothing that either of them could do about her exponentially growing tolerance.

"Did I scare you?" she asked the others crowding around her hospital bed.

Various words of confirmation told Hermione of the Gryffindor's panic at her fall.

"Madame Pomfrey wouldn't let us in. She also didn't tell us why you've fainted. Are you alright?" Remus asked.

"I just suffer from insomnia. I've been struggling to sleep for a few days now and I simply reached my limit earlier today. Nothing more." Hermione explained easily, avoiding Lily's eyes that were surely staring at her for lying.

"You struggle to sleep? I think I've seen you sleep more than I've seen my mates sleep and we share a dormitory." Sirius chortled, referring to her penchant to sleep during class.

Hermione saw Lily make an indignant movement out of the corner of her eye, but she quickly put an arm on her to stop her sister's defensive rant before it even began.

"Well now you know why I nap so much during the day." Hermione shrugged.

"Wait, seriously?" Sirius bit his lip with guilt at his teasing. "You literally just… fell asleep?"

"I certainly made a spectacle of myself." Hermione nodded. "But the good news is, I'm fine now. I'm sure Pomfrey will prescribe plenty of rest as my treatment, so…" She looked at her crowd expectantly. "Shoo."

The Marauders stared at each other with uncertainty. They opened their mouths to surely shout various protests and make colorful excuses to stay, but Lily growled at them.

"Seriously. Leave."

The twin sisters watched them until they left, but Lily immediately turned to Hermione when the Hospital Wing doors closed behind them.

"How much have you slept lately?"

"I'm fine."

"Answer the question. With the truth."

"Like 3-4 hours?" Over two days.

Lily's eyes welled with tears once more, seconds away from bursting, but to her credit, she managed to hold it together. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No." Hermione shook her head.

"Hermione—"

"Lily," She interrupted with a serious look. "There's nothing you or anyone can do."

Lily sighed, tears dripping from her eyes once more and guilt niggling at her heart.

…

Despite being at the precipice of sleep, Hermione blinked her eyes open when she heard a stool scrape the stone floor.

Alphard was practically growling at her. He was angry, but she wasn't sure what about. Her current condition? Her limited life? Or was it her lying? She did promise to tell him if her sleeping had gotten worse—a promise she actively did not keep.

"I allowed you to attend Hogwarts and even bought you that godforsaken bracelet…" His voice hitched at the end. He gripped her blankets so hard his knuckles turned as white as the sheets. "Did you know my choices were going to kill you?"

Alphard was part of the glue that held her mangled heart together, so seeing him struggling was literally heartbreaking.

The urge to tell him EVERYTHING was so great that she actually felt pain by preventing herself from doing so. Her throat burned, her mind screamed, she shook until her bones rattled and the frustration made it hard for her to breathe. She wanted to shout as loud as her lungs would allow, freeing herself from the crippling responsibility of the future.

"Don't do it." Hermione Granger's voice warned, cutting through her internal screams. "It won't make him feel better."

She pushed aside her old voice as she gripped her hands into fists until her nails punctured the palms of her hands. She watched with a single fat tear dripping from her eye, as the man she loved crumble before her. While he'd been her rock, her existence in his life and being under his care hadn't done him any good. She wouldn't be able to save him and she couldn't give him the truth he so desired.

"Alphard." She whispered, but he did not look up. She cupped the man's face, accidently smearing some of the blood in her palms, trying to force him to look into her eyes, but he wasn't looking at her. "You didn't cause this. I'm not your failure." she consoled, hugging the grown man and patting his back.

For a moment it seemed like he would accept her shoulder to cry on, but he ripped himself out of her embrace. His face turned blank, putting himself into "healer-mode", effective and observant, yet distant. She'd seen him do this with several other hopeless patients who ended up only getting palliative care, but he'd never done it with her. It hurt to see him so distanced from her, but she didn't blame him.

She let him work in silence, watching him read her chart, adjust her potions dosages, perform general assessment charms etc. He had an intense look on his face that she rarely got to see, making her realize how much he smiled for her. It must've been hard for him, all these years, to keep that smile on his face, but he'd done it for her. He'd done so much for her. She didn't deserve it, yet he gave it willingly.

He loved her.

"Alphard." She reached out to him, her hands seemed so small compared to his. So thin and translucent. He could see the difference too and it pained him.

He placed his warm hand over hers with such gentleness despite his harsh expression, like she was petal that could easily bruise.

"Go to sleep, sweetheart." He told her, just above a whisper. "Go to sleep, I'll watch over you." He promised.

She nodded and closed her eyes, but not before squeezing his hand as tightly as she could manage, like she was reassuring him that she was still here. That she was still with him. He held her with equal fierceness, most likely reassuring himself that she was still alive.

Exhaustion seeped into her consciousness within seconds, but unlike her usual anxiety about sleep, she was able to easily give into unconsciousness because she trusted Alphard completely and explicitly.

By the time she woke up again in the early hours of the next morning, he was gone. Probably back to work, or back to Eileen to catch some sleep himself. She'd wanted him to stay so that they could talk, but what about, she wasn't sure. There was nothing more to say; unless there was a miracle, there was no way Hermione Katlin Evans was going to live past her early 20s.

In the hours, days, months, years Hermione spent just thinking about the future, the past, and everything in between, her health was pretty far down the list-and sadly, so was Alphard. It couldn't be helped. Time was a sensitive thing, reacting to every single action and word spoken by her. There were just too many factors to take into consideration for her to worry about everything.

She wondered what would have happened if she allowed Dumbledore to enter her mind when she was a newborn baby. There was a huge chance that the Headmaster would have locked her up in a tower somewhere to make sure she didn't change the future too much before they had a chance of being saved, but Hermione was selfish. She wanted a life with people, she wanted to watch Lily grow up, and witness James make friends with the other Marauders.

The drastic changes she'd made in Alphard's life was simply another sin she'd have to atone for in the afterlife.

"He wants you to be healthy and happy." Harry appeared next to her.

"I know."

"You've received a second chance at life." Harry continued, tactlessly ignoring her drained voice. "Do you know how many people would do anything to receive the opportunity that you have? Do you know how infuriating it is to watch you throw this chance away?"

She looked away from the desperate look on her best friend's face, unable to stand the pleading look on his face. Unlike the versions of her past self, the versions of Harry she hallucinated was always so kind to her. He wanted her to live this life to the fullest, enjoying every aspect of it, as if Hermione Granger's troubles never existed.

"The only way I can live like Lily is if I obliviate myself. No amount of love and affection from my family and Alphard is going to push those memories away. But, what happens when I obliviate myself? With no memories, how am I going to save the future, you, your kids, your wife, my family, our friends, anyone? The image of your son drained and dead on your kitchen floor, Ginny hanging dead on the railing like an old rag and your daughter dead in my arms with the look of absolute fear of her own father is what's making me go mad. Don't you understand that? Your face, with red eyes. My husband calling me a monster. My children…" Her voice hitched; she was shaking. She gripped the linen blanket, as the memories of that day was brought to the surface.

She heard the door to Pomfrey's office opened indicating she was coming over to check on her.

Hermione turned away from her best friend. This mirage of Harry could say all those things because it was the image that she conjured up. Her hallucination was playing the part of a best friend that comforted her, telling her what she wanted to hear. But the real Harry? The one who knew the burden of saving the world, the one that ended up losing everything despite trying everything? He would understand her pain and the burden. He would push her to overcome it, not run and hide away from it.

"Miss Evans." Pomfrey greeted with wide eyes, shocked she was awake as such hour. "My dear, you gave me fright." She placed her hand over her chest and let out a small laugh. "You should go back to bed. You are put on bed rest. It appears that the fainting was due to an extreme spike in stress, but you remained unconscious because of exhaustion. I understand that school can be stressful, but you don't need to push yourself so hard, my dear."

"Understood." Hermione nodded.

"If there's nothing else, I think you'll be able to go back to class today."

"Thank you, Madame Pomfrey."

"School stress." She joked to herself when the school Healer walked away.

Harry laughed as well.

She turned to the stool Alphard had sat in, holding her hand for dear life.

"Do you think he resents me for showing up in his life?"

"Never." Harry promised with all the sincerity a hallucination of her own making was capable of. "Do you resent him for not being able to fix you?"

"Never."

…