Author's Note: Please be kind, but I'd love to get some comments about what you think so far! All characters are eighteen or older.
Warning: This story will have lots of mature content, rated M.
Chloe
Sometimes I feel so disconnected from the world and people around me. I don't really know how it happened, it wasn't a click of a button. This has been going on for a while now and it's just slowly getting more and more faded to me. Like I don't even realize I'm disconnecting until I'm laying in my bed on a Friday night just staring at my bedroom ceiling, numb.
It's not like something bad has happened to me. I haven't gone through something specifically hard or serious that would cause this. No, I'm just lonely I guess. I'm not used to feeling so alone, I was never alone before. I always had people surrounding me all the time, making sure I'm included and remembered but lately that's not the case. I've watch my friend group slowly but surely forget about me. Like I never even existed to them. Maybe that's what happens to people when they graduate high school, but I didn't think it would happen to us. Living on the Res meant that everyone was a mini family. We all grew up together, went to school together, spent our weekend devoted to each other. I thought my friends would be mine for life. I never stopped to think that I could somehow mean so little to them.
It makes you think about the entire friendship, yanno? Was any of it real? Was it all just a situational thing? Like we were all situationally trapped together because we like in a small town and our parents get along. That would suck.
One year ago I graduated high school and I was as happy as I could be. I had a big group of friends since the age of five. There's my best friend Kim and her boyfriend Jared, they'll marry someday I'm sure. Then of course Embry and Jake, reluctantly Quil was there too. Then there was Leah, a little less involved in the weekly plans since she's a year older, but she was still a close friend. Her little brother Seth and I were really close too.
I decided my senior year I would stay in the area because I love La Push so much. Most people hate those little small towns they grew up in, but not me. I wasn't willing to leave my friends behind, or my family either. I also didn't want to move further away from the beach. So I got a job at the local library and started saving up money for my future apartment. Kim and I talked a lot about living together on the Res and I was fully committed to that plan, once I had the money for it. I had a small savings account building up, but with my new library job I quickly had the money. The Res is a pretty cheap place to live if you don't mind cleaning it up a bit.
My dad didn't mind me living with him after I was eighteen, he's the best. He didn't want me to rush into anything stupid, but I was really eager for a place of my own. I'm an eighteen year old girl, I want some freedom and space to do fun stuff with my friends. He's not strict, but he sure doesn't like having boys around and I've never had a boyfriend, so I was ready to have a girls space. Then..I don't really know. Kim suddenly stopped coming over as much and started ditching me more and more. Eventually it got so bad that we would go days without talking and now there's just somehow nothing between us. After years and years of being so close..nothing.
I wasn't going to let it kill me though, I still had the guys. They may be boys, but I loved them all so much. They actually came into my life before Kim and we were all so close. I asked Jake and Embry to move in with me into an apartment I found on the edge of the Res. We were all prepared to sign the lease when Jake suddenly fell off. Embry was devastated and heart broken, sort of like me. His situation is a little less ideal than mine, so we wanted to go forth with the lease but it was too expensive for just two people. That's how I got stuck living with Quil.
Sloppy, disgusting, douchebag Quil.
At least I had Embry though..for a month.
Suddenly Embry, just like everyone else, stopped talking to me completely. How is that even possible since we live in the same place you may think? Yeah, me too. He started leaving more and more, taking on shifts for work and spending time at his mom's house. He stopped texting me back and wouldn't make plans with me.
Even though I can't stand Quil, I did feel an ounce of sadness for him when Embry stopped talking to him too. Those two are really close, even closer than either of them are with Jake. Quil just mopes around the house, making me even more miserable now.
I may be miserable and alone, but Quil is not the company I'll be spending my time with. I'm not that desperate.
We were all really close growing up but ever since eighth grade I've had some hate towards Quil. I actually used to have a crush on him in seventh and eighth grade. I say it was a pity crush now, but it honestly wasn't. Quil was a little chunky and had messy curls that would cover his eyes. He was shy and insecure, none of the girls in school liked him back. Jake and Embry would always tease him for it and it made my heart hurt so badly. I thought he was so adorable and I really wanted to be with him.
I was sort of confident he'd like me back. I mean, we were good friends and I didn't think I was half bad looking. Why wouldn't he?
It took me a lot of nerve to tell him my feelings and I held back for a long time. I was scared to lose him and I didn't want to face embarrassment. On this particular day though I couldn't keep it in any longer. We had the eighth grade end of the year dance coming up and Quil was sort of desperate for a date. Embry convinced him to ask Tracy, a pretty blonde girl in our class. Quil worked up the courage and made a cute little card, asking her to go with him. I was of course disappointed, but I also knew he was only doing it because Embry pushed him to.
I wasn't there to see the rejection, but I was there for the aftermath. Quil was sniffling on a bench at the park near our school, sitting hunched over and defeated. He looked so sad and sweet, my chest hurt from seeing him so broken. I went up and sat with him in silence for a while before I asked what happened. He said he asked Tracy in front of her friends and they all laughed at him and Tracy tore up the note. He was humiliated and didn't want Jake and Embry to see him crying.
I thought that was my most perfect moment, I had to tell him.
So I did, I told him I had a crush on him and wanted to go to the dance with him. First he looked shocked..and then disgusted. He told me he didn't want to go to the dance with me and he would never date me. I remember how fast I went from smiling to frowning, I was in shock.
He stomped away after that and I was just left stunned on the bench. I went home and cried and cried. I was devastated for months and my self-esteem really took a toll. I didn't tell anyone how I felt and I tried to pretend unfazed around him, but quickly I started to hate him.
Freshman year of high school I had a bit of a glow up. I grew taller, but finally so did all the boys. Some of my childhood weight went away and I had some curves on me. I got my braces off, my skin cleared up nicely, and I started dressing a little more feminine. For the first time boys started to actually like me and I was amazed. All throughout high school I got little bits of attention and thrived on it. Feeling beautiful and desired for the first time in your little lifetime really does wonders for you self esteem.
At the same time Quil was chasing just about every girl in school. Jake and I actually dated for a solid month freshman year and kissed about three times before we both laughed it off and agreed we were meant to be friends. Sophomore year, after Quil had flirted with nearly the entire student body of girls, he asked me out on a date. I've never felt more powerful than denying him like he denied me. He was unfazed and went on to continue trying to get in everyone's pants. He's a manwhore.
I've never really forgiven Quil for looking at me the way he did eighth grade, but we had the same friend group so I dealt with him. It's definitely not ideal to be living so close to him, but that's what my life has come to.
Quil tries to tease and flirt with me because he knows I hate it. He treats it like it's a joke that we'd ever get together, just to try to get under my skin. It infuriates me so I guess he's successful. I do my best to ignore his presence in the house, but his mopey attitude makes it hard. He's trying to cling to me since everyone's abandoned us.
I groan as I shift in my bed, my back aching from laying on it for too long. I sit up reluctantly sighing at my TV. I don't even have the energy to turn it on, I'm so bored it's depressing. I rub my hands over my face when a loud screech sounds from outside. I hear a string of curse words and a car door slamming shut a moment later and push myself from the bed to investigate. I walk through the single floor house and creak open the screen door to see Quil standing outside of his car, inspecting my shitty old car.
My mouth drops when I realize the idiot scraped the side of my car pulling into our driveway. "Quil I'm gonna kill you!" I roar, marching onto the porch and down the steps, marching over to him. It's sunset and the weather is finally cooling down after a scorching hot summer. My bare feet walk across the grass and I shove him out of the way to get a better look. Two long scratches took the paint right off of my car. "How can you be so stupid!" I groan, looking at the damage.
Truth is my car is a shitbox and there's plenty of old scratches on it. It's my dad's old car that I've had since I was sixteen, it hardly starts these days. The two scratches just sort of blend in with the other scuffs, but I'm in a bad mood.
"I'm sorry, it was an accident." He says defensively, trying to approach me but I swing around to face him, my body hot with anger.
"You're so careless!" I yell, crossing my arms over my chest. "There's so much space, why did you even park so close to me?"
He looks guilty and something inside me feels bad for yelling, but anger overcomes me. "Jeez Chloe, I didn't mean to! I'll take it to the shop tomorrow, but it's not like this car is worth anything anyways!" He frowns, motioning to my car. "I think I scratched mine too." He turns to inspect his car but fury overcomes me.
I grab onto his shoulder before he can turn and squeeze. "I couldn't give a shit less about your car, you're going to pay for all the damages!"
"I said I was gonna take it to the shop, god! Chill out." He looks at me like I'm overreacting which just enrages me more. Quil is so carefree it's infuriating. This guy couldn't care less about anything in his life except his stupid car and getting laid.
I groan, stomping my foot on the ground. "Don't tell me to chill out! You're such an asshole Quil, you need to grow up and take responsibility for your actions. Life isn't just some stupid game, okay? Some of us take it seriously! I work all day and now you've fucked up my car?"
His face is bewildered and he takes a step closer to me. "I worked all day too, Chloe! You're not the only one with shit going on. My best friends won't talk to me, my job sucks, and now you're screaming in my face! I'll fix the damn car!" He raises his voice before hunching over, grabbing his leg. "Fuck!"
Shocked I take a step closer to help him, but he puts a hand up. "Jesus Quil don't be a baby, let me see." I go to kneel down but he looks up at me with a warning look and I know he's seriously in pain. I take a step back and when I do a loud snap sounds from Quil's leg and he yelps in pain.
I squeal at the noise, jumping back when another series of cracks come from him. Suddenly Quil lurches forward and I fall back on my butt. It a moments time Quil's gone and a huge, hairy wolf stands just a few feet away from me, growling.
I scream so loud I scare myself and I start crab crawling back towards the porch. I can't seem to move fast enough, my bodies struck to the core with fear. Thoughts aren't forming fast enough in my head so I can create an escape plan. The wolf makes eye contact with me with big eyes and starts slowly walking towards me. It's like it's in a trance, not focused on anything in particular. My breathing is coming out gasped and when my back hits the end of the stairs I give up. The wolf makes it's way to me and stands over me in its huge form. It's fur is perfectly clean and it looks soft. It's mouth is closed, no noises coming from it. The skin on my neck rises and goosebumps spread all over me.
The wolfs large head bows down closer to mine and I whimper, turning my face.
It's going to fucking eat me.
Nothing happens but my body feels like it's on fire as the wolf hovers over me, so close I can nearly feel the fur coat on my arms.
A loud bellow sounds from the woods near the house, but I don't dare move my head to look. "Get away from her!" The voice shouts so loud I flinch, my eyes flicking up to the beast in front of me. It's eyes are soft, like it's not some murderous animal, more like a little dog. It stands its ground in front of me, even as the voice gets louder. I realize after the final yell that it's Embry's voice coming from the yard.
The wolf very, very slowly backs away from me but my body remains stiff and aware of the threat. My voice isn't working but I want to tell Embry to stay away. I don't want us both to die. My dad taught me how to react to bears and coyotes, not so much wolves. I didn't even know wolves were native to this area, I've lived here my whole life.
The wolf continues to back up before it's backside hits Quil's car and it seems to come back to reality. That big head turns to Embry and then down at the ground, repeating the same thing over and over. Embry finally gets to us and stands in between me and the wolf. I hear more yelling and manage to turn my head to see Jake, Jared, and Leah running towards us.
"Quil, you need to calm down." Embry says in a stern but gentle voice.
My reality seems to snap back and I start freaking out. "Oh my god! Where's Quil, did it bite him?" I shout, struggling to get my legs to work so I can stand up and help. I didn't even think about Quil in that moment, the damn wolf must have jumped over him to get to me, but did it bite or scratch him? My heart starts racing as I scramble to my feet, looking past Embry for any signs of blood.
There's nothing, nothing but the confused looking wolf.
Embry's arms are out, preventing me from going past him. "Embry we need to go inside, where's Quil?" I frantically look around the yard, seeing nothing.
Don't let him be dead. Don't let him be dead.
"Quil, you're okay. Everything's okay." He says, staring straight ahead at the wolf.
Realization hits me and I drop to my knees in the grass, feeling light headed and weak. My hands tremble as they hit the grass, supporting my upper body. "Chloe." Jake says, hunching down next to me. Vile builds up in my throat and my body feels dampened with sweat, even with the humidity at a low point. His warm hand presses against my back, grounding me to the situation. "Are you hurt? Were you scratched?"
I manage to shake my head as he rubs my back soothingly. A growl sounds from the wolf-Quil, and I flinch.
"I wouldn't touch her." Embry warns and quickly Jake removes his hand from my back, moving away from me. I'm left with my mouth hanging open, desperately trying to calm down before I faint. I try to focus on the feel of the grass on my skin and the color of the little spikes. I count to ten over and over again and try to suck in a deep breath.
I manage to lift my eyes again and this time I find Quil on his knees, completely naked and panting. Embry and Jared both rush to his side, each placing a hand on his shoulder. Quil's eyes lift to mine, his curls dampened against his forehead. He pants, his chest rapidly rising and falling.
My eyes are wide as I'm staring back and a mix of emotions bottle up inside me. Fear, worry, confusion, and realization all trample through me.
"What the fuck." I manage to get out.
Leah's hand grips onto my shoulder and my eyes struggle to leave Quil's and move to her. "Are you okay?" She asks calmly, peering down at me. With shaking limbs I manage to get up, with her assistance, and stand on my own two feet.
Her hands place on my shoulders, keeping me faced her but my neck tilts to glance back at Quil. My eyes roam over his human form and then the realization that he's naked and hard, dawns on me.
"Jesus." I mutter, snapping my eyes back to Leah.
"It's okay, why don't we go inside." Leah instructs, maneuvering my body, walking me to the front door. I let her lead me inside and I drop onto the couch, feeling heavily grounded by gravity. She hovers over me, inspecting me from head to toe before her eyes go to the door where the boys help Quil inside, leading him to his bedroom. "Try to stay calm Chloe." Leah instructs. It's the most gentle I've ever seen her be. Leah's tough and stubborn, but she was a good friend in the past. Someone you go to when you want to get real, honest advice. She was like a big sister to me in high school before she stopped talking to me too.
I can't even muster up a question because my mind is still racing. We just sit in silence until the boys all start crowding the living room, taking seats on the furniture. Quil is last to enter the room but he sits directly next to me, now clothed from the waist down.
Everyone's silent until Jake speaks up. "Well that happened."
Jared shoots him a look before looking at me. I haven't seen Jared in months, I actually placed a lot of blame on him for why Kim stopped talking to me. They've been together for years but he was never controlling to her. The three of us hung out all the time. I just didn't understand what was going on, so he got my blame.
"Are you all?" I manage to say. My voice is small but I can tell they all heard me. Super hearing?
Jake nods his head. "We are, yeah..not Kim and not Seth, well not Seth yet." He fumbles over his words, playing with his fingers. "We figured Quil was next but we weren't allowed to say anything and we weren't able to tell you, but now you know."
I just blink at him for a moment. "So is that why you've all ignored me all this time?" I cross my arms over my chest, cradling myself.
Embry's expression goes sad and guilty. "Yes, not because we wanted to, but because we had to." He says solemnly. "I'm sorry, to both of you."
"Don't you think it would have been better for Quil to know so he didn't, oh I don't know, nearly kill me?" I snap. I'm heated. I've been miserable for months because everyone in my life acted like I didn't exist to them before and now that little secret could have gotten me freaking killed by a damn werewolf. I've heard the legend and of course didn't think they were anything more than that, but I deserved to know at least. Quil should have known too.
"I wouldn't have killed you." Quil mumbles from beside me, but I ignore him. He's probably in total shock and doesn't need me arguing with him.
"We wanted to tell you both but the council wouldn't let us." He sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face like he's frustrated. "Sue and Harry Clearwater, my dad, and Old Quil have taken the spots as our tribe council. They've been keeping track of all this stuff since Sam phased seven months ago, we've all in our own time turned too. Quil has direct roots to the tribe, so we knew he'd be turning too. None of us were warned but Sam was prepared for all of us to turn. We have these tattoos that mark us as the pack and we all can phase on command. Imprinting is real too." Jake glances at Quil.
"Has anyone imprinted?" I ask.
"Sam and I both did." Jared speaks up, glancing at Leah. "Me to Kim, and Sam to Emily."
I've heard about Sam and Leah's breakup, but I didn't know all this imprinting stuff had to do with it. We were taught that imprints are like soulmates, an unbreakable bond between two people that will last their entire lives. They can imprint on anyone but they don't get to choose it. Poor Leah was probably thrown out right away when Sam imprinted on Emily. I just thought he was a jerk who moved on too fast. Leah of course stopped talking to me shortly after that breakup, and probably phased around that time.
"So Kim knows and that's why she stopped speaking to me?" I ask dully. I've been the most angry at Kim. She's my best friend after all.
Jared nods sadly. "She's been miserable ever since you two stopped talking but she thought it would be too hard to keep a secret from you..I'm sorry Chloe." My eyes sting with tears but I blink them away before they can spill. I'm not going to let them see me cry, not when I've been dealing with everything all alone all this time.
"Right." I mutter, looking away from him. "So I won't phase?"
"We don't think so." Embry answers. "But now you know everything, there won't be any secrets kept from you."
I scoff. "Yeah right. I'm not apart of you guys once again, why would you start including me now?" I'm sure there's still plenty of secrets to keep from me.
"Because I imprinted on you."