Authors Note:
Hello everyone, I know early week chapter. I felt very dedicated to write this chapter and am very proud of it, so I hope you all like it. As always I don't own anything but Lily.
Cyclamen
Sam POV
(November 30th, 2003)
It's been a month since I have imprinted on Liliana Swan, and my life has been hell. I am always fighting with my wolf over what I want. I get sick every time I think about what I should do. I love Leah with all my heart, but do I know enough about Lily to betray Leah and fall in love with her friend. Would it be worth the heartache in the long run? From what Billy and Harry had explained to me, the spirits have fated a perfect match; that we would be what the other needs.
On top of that, I had to deal with gaining another brother to the wolf pack, which increased my duties and caused more strife in my life. Jared Cameron handled the change easier than Paul. He struggled for the first few weeks, and again we had to lie, but it was for the greater good. Another thing that didn't help with my decision was that Paul would continually make comments about Lily, which riled me up, and he knew this, he did it for fun. During a patrol, I attacked him viciously for imaging in vivid detail what he would do with Lily in bed. Although they didn't know the full extent of why she was stuck in my head, I thought it better if I keep the imprint to myself.
"Sam, are you even listing to me?!" I heard a hostel voice call out. I quickly snapped back to reality.
"Sorry, Leah, got lost in my head, you were saying?" I responded in a voice that would calm her.
She grimaced and pursed her lips as if she wanted to retort with something snarky but was holding her tongue, trying to be civil. "I was saying that we need to nail down a date for the wedding."
I hold back from rolling my eyes. I really didn't care what date she wanted, I had bigger things to deal with. "Whatever suits you, Lee-Lee, it's really your day so you can choose whatever. The only thing I really need to do is be there, right?" I grumbled.
"That's not how this works, Sam. You have to have input. I'm not planning this all by myself." Leah hissed. "Well, at least tell me wither you want an indoor or outdoor wedding?"
"I mean, considering it rains 99% of the time here, an outdoor wedding would be a pretty terrible idea."
"See. Was that so hard?"
"Lily is still your maid of honor, right?" I coaxed.
She did roll her eyes and remarked, "Of course, what kind of stupid question is that, as if there is anyone else I would want standing beside me."
"I was just wondering, no need to take offense, Leah."
"Whatever."
This was another issue that had come up since our fight on Halloween. Leah was becoming more passive-aggressive as if that would solve the problems in our relationship. I could tell she still wouldn't believe me. She was trying hard for a few weeks to try and be understanding. But then her temper would flare out, and now we're stuck in this circle of mistrust and resentment. It was breaking any bonds that we still held, and I could feel the breaks with after every argument. My heart ached to be in a relationship that I could tell my secret too, and I knew the only relationship where that could happen was with Lily.
An idea suddenly popped, it was a plan to figure out what I want. A way to learn more about Lily yet stay distant enough that it was not obvious what I was doing. But would it actually work and what would happen if I did get to close. "Is Lily still trying to learn how to knit?"
Leah snorted, "Yes, and it's still going terrible. I think she's getting worse with every try."
"Have you figured out her Christmas gift yet?"
"No, why. You have any ideas?
"I do have an idea. I know you want to save money for the wedding, how about we give Lily knitting lessons with my mom. I'm sure my mom won't mind. That way, Lily would have an actual teacher to show her how it works instead of relying on a book. Besides, we can give her the suggestion and start before Christmas. That way, she can learn to make simple things like scarfs and give those to her friends and family." I said, getting giddy with the idea.
"But she has such an erratic schedule, how would it work?" she pondered.
"Well, whenever she has a night shift, she can come over after she sleeps. I'm sure she would love the idea, you did say that she has been trying really hard to learn."
"But she has morning shifts every other week. She's on a swing shit." Leah answered with hesitation. She knew this was a great idea but was thinking about the logistics.
"That gives her a week to practice what she learned the previous week when she has the time, of course."
"I guess that does seem like a pretty good idea. If your mother agrees, then we'll bring up the idea to Lily."
"Great," I exclaimed. I was very proud of my plan. Checking my wristwatch, I noticed it was a quarter past 7. I was supposed to meet my mom around 8 for one of our bi-weekly dinners. I loved my mom's cooking; she was a fantastic cook while Leah was not. "I'll go talk to her now, we're having dinner together anyway."
"Okay," She said, wrapping me in a hug "Bye."
I hurried over to my mom's house. It was a simple one-story yellow house. It held so many memories, some good and some not so good. But I still sometimes refer to it as home even though I had built my own house two houses down. The building of my house took about three years to complete, as I didn't always have the funds to keep working on it. Although I was working by myself, I didn't have to pay for other workers' other than when I needed the help. I wanted to stay close to my mom in case anything ever happened. I was always protective of her, especially when I had to step up and be the man of the house.
I practically ran into the house, wanting to bring up the idea of her teaching Lily how to knit. I just somehow knew they would click, something in my gut told me. I knew I should have tried to escape the thought of Lily at every moment, but I felt the pain of the imprint every time I tried to deny it. Besides, Billy had told me that we could have a relationship of friends, but something didn't sit right when I tried to twist my head around that.
"Hey, mom. I'm here." I said as I walked into the small kitchen. You could tell it was made in the '70s when the house was first built. Wood paneling was the walls, and the cabinets were an olive green color. Only recently did mom let me replace the appliances, which made the wood paneling and olive green colors stand out even more. But I didn't judge it. It was home. I saw that mom was pulling out the lasagna and placing it on the counter before reaching back in with her oven mitts to grab the other lasagna. Ever since I shifted, my appetite had grown exponentially. One plate of food no longer satisfied me, I would probably eat one of those lasagnas by myself and still go back for more.
She turned to face me. I noticed she was wearing a bright blue sweater and long jeans topping off the look with fuzzy red socks. It had gotten so cold it was snowing on some days, and it was only November, but I guess that's to be expected in the state of Washington. "Hello, baby. You're early, but that's just fine with me. I always enjoy having my baby boy around."
"Mom, would you stop referring to me as your baby boy. I'm a grown, 21-year-old man." I groaned out.
"You will always be my baby boy Sam," she said as she came up and pinched my cheek.
I loved my mom more than the world, but she got a thrill off of embarrassing me. "So Mom, I have a question," I announced.
"And what is that, baby? Is it something to do with the wedding?"
"No nothing like that, I was wondering if you wanted to teach one of Leah's friends how to knit? She's been trying, but going off the books isn't working for her, she needs a real teacher. It would be an early Christmas present to her."
"Which friend are you talking about" She hesitated. I knew mom didn't think much of Leah's other friends, but I was so sure she would love Lily.
"It's Liliana Swan," I assured.
Mom lit up like a Christmas tree. Apparently, she was one of Leah's friends that she liked. "Oh Liliana, why didn't you say that in the beginning. Of course, I would love to teach her. She seems like such a sweet young girl from what I heard. Always being kind and professional at the hospital. Are you sure she'll have time to come and learn? I know from experience that nurses don't always have a set schedule."
"Well, from what Leah knows she's on a swing shift so she'll have night shifts every other week. I figured that after she slept, she could come down here before work and learn. Plus, she'll have her pager if she needs to go immediately." I replied more assured that this was going to be an excellent plan.
"Well, if she is willing to come, I would love to have her and teach her here."
The rest of the night fell into conversations about work and how it was mostly being held off due to the weather. You can't exactly pour the foundation for a house when it was snowing or freezing rain. Mom talked vaguely about her work helping with the mental health of military, veterans, and their loved ones. Mom had been a nurse here at the reservation clinic and loved her work but decided to retire about a year ago but still was spending time helping others. As I expected, I finished off one complete lasagna and was working my way through the second. My mother had finished eating, so the left the rest to me. She remarked that she didn't know how I was so fit with the amount of food I eat. I just laughed and said from her obvious good genes. I told mom I had to go and call Leah and tell her that she had agreed and that we could bring the subject up to Lily. Mom gave me a kiss on the cheek and said she would see me on Friday.
I drove back to my house with an enormous smile.
Lily POV
(December 13th, 2003)
My body was buzzing with excitement. I was finally going to learn how to knit today. When Leah first approached me with her idea, I was a little apprehensive, not wanting to impose on Sam's mother even though she had agreed to teach me, but after she explained the plan entirely, I replied with a resounding "yes." We had to change the plan slightly, the plan was now that I would go on my day off and practice till the next time I was off. That meant my lessons would be spaced out a little more, but it would be better in the long run.
As I passed the line from Forks to La Push, I felt a comfort pass over me. I gazed out at the scenery of the forest that encased the scenery. I was suddenly secure. It was a feeling that I had every time I crossed this border, but I had never really stopped and thought why. I just accepted it as it is. That's how I wanted to live my life, just taking what happened and what was around me. I was a little nervous about today I had failed so many times trying to learn it on my own who's to say I would be any better learning from an actual person. I drove around La Push, I was slightly lost. Leah didn't give me the best directions; she wasn't exactly the best at that. Therefore I was running late, not the best impression for Sam's mother. I sighed; it seemed like forever till I pulled up to the tiny yellow house, it was quaint, and I found it adorable.
Climbing out of the car, I felt my hands shaking, why was I so nervous? But the shaking was not the best for learning something that had to deal with hands. I hadn't even had my hands shake on my first day at the hospital. I picked up my feet, practically speed walking to the front door. The front door was painted an ivory white and matched the color of the house perfectly. My shaking hands slowly raised, and I gave the door three small knocks. The door immediately flew open, and standing in front of me was a small russet skin woman with long sleek black hair that was pulled back into a messy bun.
"Oh, Liliana, I'm so glad you're here. I heard your car pull up." Sam's mother spoke to me while wrapping me in a hug. Just with her touch, I was immediately calmed, and my hands relaxed. I took in her smell of lavender and pine.
"Hello, Ms. Uley," I replied as she backed away.
"No, this Ms. Uley stuff, I'm too young for that. I'm only 42, after all." She laughed. "Just call me Allison. I have a feeling we are going to get to know each other deeply, and I want us to be good friends. Would you prefer for me to call you Lily, or can I call you Liliana? I would prefer Liliana, it's such a pretty name."
I relaxed even more. "I would prefer Lily, but you can call me Liliana if you want." I was confused as that statement came out of my mouth. Nobody ever called me by my full name in casual conversation. Dad only used my full name when he was mad or serious with me, which was rarely ever. Even the nurses and Carlisle called me Lily.
"Lilianna, it is then. Now come on in and out of this cold." She opened the door wider to allow me to come into the warm house.
As I walked into the house, I took stalk of the cozy atmosphere and the scent of Allison that wafted through the air.
Allison was walking slightly behind me before coming around me and leading me through the house, "We'll be learning in the kitchen, I thought it best to have an area where you can see properly." She said, walking forward through the living room.
"That's okay with me. Again thank you so much for teaching me, I really appreciate it." I said as I walked into the wood-paneled kitchen.
"It's no problem, sweetie. Now would you like some tea or coffee before we start?" She replied, turning around to me.
"I would appreciate some tea if you have any earl grey. I normally prefer coffee, but I'm feeling tea today."
"You like earl grey? It's my favorite blend, so we always have some on hand. Sam even likes it, but he'll never admit it. He's always going 'I only drink black coffee when I need a caffeine fix.' Just give me a moment, and I'll makeup both a cup."
I smiled for some reason. It made me happy to know that Sam likes my favorite kind of tea. I sat down at the kitchen table and noticed that there were fresh cinnamon rolls on the table, they had steam rolling off of them, they were still hot. The scent of them was mouthwatering. "Allison, did you make cinnamon rolls for me?" I questioned.
"Yes, sweetie, it's pretty early, so I guessed you hadn't had time to eat, their homemade, so please take one and enjoy," she said back while boiling some water in a grey whistling kettle. "Do you take your tea with sugar?"
"You didn't have to do all this, I would have been fine waiting till lunch. I'm used to skipping meals during work hours. God knows how many times I worked through lunch. And just a little milk will be fine, I find sugar takes away from the flavor of the tea."
"Don't you worry, sweetie, it was no trouble besides, I won't let anyone in this house go hungry. Plus, you learn better on a full stomach; it's scientifically proven."
I couldn't argue with that. I took a roll of the platter and blew on it so that I didn't burn my mouth completely. I took a bite and almost moaned at the taste, it was heaven—the perfect amount of bread to cinnamon. I found myself devouring the roll and reaching for another in a matter of seconds. Allison noticed.
"I'm guessing you like them."
"I absolutely love them, their perfect. Would you mind sharing the recipe? I would love to make them for my dad." I cajoled after taking a bite.
"I wouldn't mind at all, sweetie. Do you like baking?" She said, sounding thrilled.
"Yes, very much so. I also enjoy cooking. Growing up, dad was a pretty bad cook, only knowing a few dishes, so I had to step up and learn. I like to say I'm pretty decent. It's honestly wonderful playing around with spices and recipes and making them my own."
"Well, during our lessons, we can trade recipes. I also love learning new things, it gives me a thrill."
We quickly fell into small talk as we ate the rolls and drinking our tea. We talked about the weather and how we were surprised that we hadn't had snow much but theorized next year we'll probably receive more than usual. The conversation then moved to work and how we both enjoyed what we were doing. We never talked about actual cases but more so the nurses and volunteers we worked with and the gossip around them.
"I heard that a heart-stopping doctor is working at the hospital. Is that true, or are people just exaggerating?"
"Oh Carlisle, He is pretty gorgeous, but he is also extremely component. I don't even notice his looks most of the time." I said after taking the final sip of my tea.
"Wow, you're on first name bases already. Is there something there?" She replied, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
I laughed. "No, he's extremely devoted to his wife, which some of the nurses still don't understand. I hope one day I'll find a man as dedicated and faithful as he is. But I doubt that will ever happen to me."
She laid her hand on mine. "I'm absolutely sure you will. Something tells me it'll be sooner than you expect. You're too sweet of a girl to not have the spirits bless you."
"I'm not looking for love right now." I sighed with a blush on my face.
"Well, you never know. Love is always a hurricane. You can never predict it and is a whirlwind."
I just nodded. Something in me wanted to believe her and hope that I'll find love soon. But just what makes me think that love will be forever. I don't have any models to go off of. Even Leah's love is fraying at the edges. I sighed again. Romantic love seemed so impossible and felt like it would be a dream within a dream. "But that hurricane will eventually end, and all that is left is damage."
Allison noticed that sad look on my face and decided to take us on a new path of the conversation. "Well, how about we start with your lesson."
I smiled a wry smile and replied. "That sounds wonderful, Allison."
"Okay sweetie, Let me go get our materials." She said as she got up. I had been questioning that usage of the nickname since I got here. But something in me smiled as it made me feel accepted and that I wasn't as much of a bother as I thought I would be. She was so different that what Leah had said she would be. But that was perhaps because Leah did not enjoy pet names other than the one's Sam and I used, or they didn't have much in common other than Sam.
I was lost in my head that I didn't notice Allison's return until I heard the chair scrape against the tile flooring.
"Let's do this Liliana, it's really pretty simple, but it'll take some practice."
From that moment, Allison took me through the process of casting on the yarn and creating stitches. We started simply with only 15 stitches. After that, she taught me the correct way to hold my needles, I found it a bit awkward as I wasn't use to it. Allison just laughed at it and said, "It'll take time to adjust to it. But the more you do it, the more it'll feel natural." Then she taught me how to insert the needles and wrap the yarn around the second needle and pass it through the first stitch. She did a couple with me, showing the correct way before setting me lose and watching over me. I got through a couple rows before I dropped a stitch, she immediately came to my rescue and showed me how to fix it. The more I did, the more confident I felt. I couldn't help but notice that my stitches were extremely different. Some were loose while other extremely tight. I felt discouraged, but Allison placed a hand on my shoulder and told me, "You're just learning. You can't expect to be perfect automatically."
Time flew, and before I knew it was noon. I had made approximately 15 rows. I was starting my 16th when I heard the front door open, and a voice call out.
"Hey, Mom!" I immediately felt shivers run through my spin. I recognized that voice. It was Sam. What was he doing here?
Allison must have been thinking the same thing because she asked. "Sam. What are you doing here?"
"I was hoping you would have lunch. But I don't smell any. I'm slightly sad now." He replied in a mockingly, sad tone.
"Samuel Uley, You can make yourself lunch, you're a grown man. You know I'm teaching Liliana today. So I wouldn't have time to make lunch for you. I was going to making lunch for just me and Liliana." She replied back in the same mocking tone.
"Aww, Mom, but your cooking is the best. Plus, I'm your son." He whined I had to giggle at his childish response.
"Are you going to even say hello to Liliana?" She asked, noticing his rude behavior by not saying hello to me.
"Hi, Lily. Mom, what's up with you calling her Liliana. You should know to call her Lily." Sam replied with a questioning tone.
"I told her she could call me Liliana if she wanted Sam," I told him.
"Want me to call you that then?" Sam questioned, looking at me with a strange look that I couldn't place.
Jokingly I said, "No, Lily is fine. Sam, unless you have another nickname you want to call me." I don't know why I had said that, but something in me wanted to have a nickname that he would call me that no one else would. It was another confusing feeling.
He took a pause, thinking deeply before answering me. "How about Ana?" His deep voice, mixed with his enchanting eye, brought a blush to my face.
I squeaked out a "Sounds good. But only you can call me that. Don't be spreading that around."
"Of course, not Ana."
Out the corner of my eye, I saw Allison smile. I wondered why.
"Well then, Liliana, Let's make lunch for us and apparently this heathen," Allison spoke up.
Allison and I stood up and decided to make burgers with fries. I told Allison that I could handle the burgers if she could feel the fries. I never enjoyed peeling and slicing potatoes. Allison agreed. Burgers were simple enough for me. I had made them plenty of times for my dad as burgers rivaled his love of steaks. I quickly put in my secret spice mix, although I did tell Allison what I was putting in because we agreed to share recipes. Before I knew it, we were sitting down at the table with a mountain of food, and Sam dove into the food with breakneck speed. I couldn't help but stare; it was a sight. Allison elbowed me in the ribs.
"If you just sit around watching, he'll eat it all before you get a chance."
With that statement, I grabbed a burger and some fries and began to eat slowly. Allison did the same moaning in delight.
"These are simply marvelous Liliana. I'm so glad you told me what to put in the meat. I'll have to make this again." Allison exclaimed.
I blushed at the comment. Then Sam said, locking me in a passionate stare. It made my blush deepen. I couldn't help but become lost in his eyes. I noticed the black that speckled his irises and the deep chocolate that they were.
"I agree. It's better than moms. I'll have to come over to eat every time you're over if I get food like this." He said before taking another bite.
His mom seemed to not take too much offense to the comment but still slapped him over the head.
"You should know better to say a woman's food is better than their moms in front of them, Samuel Uley."
"Ouch." He yelped. "Mom, that really hurt."
She rolled her eyes, "Get over it."
I couldn't help but laugh, and for some reason, Sam smiled. The rest of the lunch past quietly. I stopped after eating just one burger and Allison at two; Sam polished off the rest and the majority of fries. I couldn't help but marvel at the sheer amount of food he had shoved down his gullet. I noticed the time it was half-past 3, and I announced I better get home. I had some sketches that I wanted to finish. Allison nodded and helped me get ready to leave.
"I'm sure you'll do fine on your own, Liliana. Just practice a little every day if you get that chance. Besides these are my grandmother's knitting needles, I'm sure they're going to give you good luck." Allison said as she packed away my work in a bag.
"Oh no, Allison, you never said these were your grandmothers. There's no way I can use these. They're too special." I replied, shaking my head frantically.
"Liliana, I trust you, and they're lucky, so don't worry about it, sweetie."
I sighed, "If you're sure, Allison."
"I'm am Liliana."
I grabbed the bag and headed towards the door when I heard a voice say, "I'll see you later, Ana."
My face reddens, and all I could do is nod.
Sam POV
(December 13th, 2003)
"You like her." I heard as soon as the door shut. "These lessons were for you to get to know her. I knew this from the start. Your face lit up when I said yes. Your eyes shone like a thousand stars."
"As a friend, mom, besides, I want to get to know her better since she is Lee-Lee's best friend," I responded, not looking back. I couldn't turn around my face would give me away.
"That's not what I mean, Samuel, and you know it."
I sighed, "She's a friend mom, that's all she'll ever be."
My mom placed a hand on my shoulder. "You want her as more, and you need to either end it or accept it. You are engaged, but you are not happy. I just want you to be happy."
"I'm happy with Leah. These feelings are fleeting." I said with my voice growing sadder. I am fighting myself. Maybe this plan was a terrible idea. The more I am around her, the more my heart pounds. The more my head clears from the fog, it's been in. The more I wanted to be her to be mine forever.
"Sam, I can see the growing attachment. I don't know what started these feeling, but maybe it's the spirits showing you the light. You can not deny the spirits; if this is what they want, then it is your future." My mom came up, hugging me from behind. If she only knew. If only I could tell her the truth. If I could only tell anyone the truth. "Leah is not your future, I have known this from the beginning, but you would not listen. They are best friends; it will be messy and painful if you accept it, but it is better now than if you are married, do not lead Leah on anymore."
"Mom, how can I betray Leah, she has my heart, these feeling are momentary. I am trying nothing but to be Liliana's friend." I lie to myself, today I learned I want more. More of my Ana. Why did I give her that nickname? Why do I refer to her as mine? The clarity hits me like a lightning bolt to my chest. It is because she is mine, she is mine. Mine to love forever. I want to be there to make her laugh and to smile every day. I want to be there to wrap my arms around her and protect from any harm that falls her way.
"But your heart is beginning to be taken by another, whether she knows it or not." I could still not face my mother, but I feel my knees give out. I fall to the floor. "Sam, you are my son, I know what you are feeling, and I know you are in pain. That you have been fighting yourself for so long, and you are tired." My mom crouches down and wraps her arms around me. "Admit your feeling. If not out loud, then at least to yourself."
I whisper, and as tears beginning to fall from my eyes. "I am falling for Liliana Swan. I can't escape it anymore. I may not know her, but I need to. She is becoming my life."
So shorter chapter this time. This chapter actually screws up with my outline a little, but the writing gods demanded that this chapter go the way it did. I hope you all liked it. Also if anyone can tell me where "Love is always a hurricane" came from I'll give you brownie points. Feel free to comment on the chapter. I should probably have the next chapter by the end of week.