A/N: As I mentioned before taking this chapter down, I haven't read the VK Manga so I apologise if Kaito isn't in character sometimes, but I tried my hardest with the help of some minor research (that I did ages ago and barely remember it) XD
This is where we left off from when I last took it down to rewrite, so I'm kinda nervous as I continue now, haha.
There may also be some KaitoxZero in the future, so I apologise if that pairing isn't to your tastes. Nevertheless, please enjoy~
(Italics are for peoples thoughts)
Chapter 9: Lies & Secrets
Yuki POV
As soon as he'd gone, she'd known. The warmth she'd reached out to grasp onto was absent, leaving behind only the faint scent of her beloved pureblood embedded into the sheets she now cradled. She reached over and buried her head into the soft warmth of his pillow, before inhaling deeply.
He doesn't tell me anything anymore...
Kaname had seemed unusually off recently; she had noticed it. The signs were subtle, but it wasn't something she would miss even if she wasn't paying attention. The only thing she could wonder, however, was if it was she that was the reason behind his constant sighs, the absent, faraway look in his gaze and the drastic change in Kaname's mood all together. Was she a burden to him? Was this, what he had truly wanted- to live alone with her in this house? What was on his mind... really?
She longed to know the reason for her brothers disgruntle state, and the strain that seemed to be ever etched into those flawless features. It worried her greatly. She didn't want to be ignorant of his feelings; she was tired of living in this constant state of ignorance, it had been too long. But, when he kept everything to himself, and only himself, how was she meant to feel? Like a stone, he was cold and distant. He would never speak up, even when she had asked him what was amiss; he would simply claim he was fine, but she refused to believe anything he said when his vacant gaze continuously failed to meet her own.
He was avoiding her...
and she would not have it anymore.
Zero POV
Where am I?
Kuran...
What happened to Kuran? He's not here, is he? No. He can't be. I'd know if he was here. The smell in the air wasn't that sinfully delicious sweet blood of his... The scent in the air was more comforting, homely even.
He didn't know if he was dead or if he was alive. Death had been a welcoming thought back then, and even now, the thought didn't bother him much. He had nothing to live for, so what the hell was the point? He'd gladly wanted death to relieve him of this endless pain and torment for so long now.
He couldn't be dead, surely. If so, why was his entire body aching; limb from limb, and muscle to muscle. The pain wasn't as intense as it had been, but he couldn't remember what happened after all that too well, everything had seemed to all merge into that of a blur, as he had thought he closed his eyes for the last time.
'Goodbye Zero' The voice was like a repetitive mantra in his mind. Did he? He tried to kill me didn't he? He was torn between both anguish and hurt at his audacity, yet disappointed at the same time that Kuran's attempt didn't quite succeed.
Thinking he could use me... Then just throw me away when he got bored...
I hate him.
I hate him so much.
Had he meant to leave me alive? Or was that just a mistake on his part? That sounded like the Kaname he knew. Simply killing him off would be too easy, he'd said that very line himself; he remembered it as clear as day, yet it seemed so very long ago. Anger coursed like the poisoned blood through his veins.
He shifted his aching body, surprised to find that he was laying in what felt like a bed (and a very comfortable one at that) not the same old concrete floor he had grown so used to. After all the time that passed he felt as if he no longer deserved the luxury of sleeping in a bed again. He was a beast that deserved nothing but the worst.
He attempted to move again, though the spike of pain that shot through his entire form simply wouldn't allow it; even opening his eyes felt like too much of an ordeal. He sighed, his chest weighing heavily down on him.
So where was he, and who had brought him here? Why the pit of his stomach dropped as if he was in the presence of Kaname; the very prince of darkness himself, he didn't know. Maybe just a small part of him hoped that it was Kaname that couldn't do it, and saved him. He mentally laughed. No. Why was the pureblood always such a constant nagging thought tugging at the back of his mind?
Kaito. He was almost positive he'd heard that familiar voice as he had shifted in and out a state of unconsciousness. Or maybe he was dreaming?
"Zero, are you awake?" He could see small light break through the darkness of the pitch-black room, just to rest on the surface of his closed eye-lids. It was still almost bright enough to blind him.
"K-kaito?" Even he couldn't recognize the short desperate rasp that escaped his lips. "Is that really you?" He wouldn't mistake that voice for anyone but Kaito. It had been years since he'd seen his old friend's face. The last time he had set eyes on him was when he'd set off to go find his brother; Kaito never did come back after that.
Managing to blind a heavy eye-lid open, childhood memories flashed to mind as soon as he met his gaze, days of those once innocent and carefree. His chest ached deeply, with wounds that ran deep as he was continuously cut by the sharp shattered shards of his own broken heart. If only his child-like self back then knew the pain, suffering and endless torment he would have to endure later down the line. If he was looking in on it all, he'd pity that soul very much so.
"Who else could it possibly be?" A smile, he could hear the playful edge on his words. The boy he knew as Kaito had not changed a bit.
Until he actually got a proper good look at him that is.
The early morning brightness seeped in through a gap in the closed drapes. The very dim lighting outlined the hunter's features. He wasn't the same boy he'd pretended to play hunter with when they were kids, no way. His ash brown locks had grown out ever so slightly, framing his face almost delicately. The light danced across the porcelain skin of his face outlining sharp, but soft features. He was a picture of both strength and beauty-he had grown into a very attractive man.
"How you feelin'?" He asked, tone laced with concern as he approached Zero. He'd found him in quite the state...
"Better" He coughed before wishing he hadn't bothered, the action felt like he had just swallowed a dagger.
A small shower of relief washed over Kaito. "Here drink this" He'd found Zero practically on the brink of death. He hadn't quite wanted to be re-united with an old acquaintance under such circumstances, but it seems fate had tied them together in such a way. He was just so glad that there was familiarity to the scent he picked up back there, and the fact he could smell a vampire from a mile away.
Zero drank hungrily from the cup that was handed to him, not even bothering to ask what it was as he gulped it down as if his life depended on it. He grimaced at the tangy taste, yet was grateful nonetheless; the dry coarseness of his throat had rivalled that of sandpaper. Kaito chuckled at the expression.
"It's just a neutraliser" Zero offered a look of confusion. "For any poison left in your system." Poison..? Oh right... Kaname... Zero had a mass of question swimming around in his head like little tadpoles ready to take off, yet he couldn't bring himself to ask a single one, he couldn't seem to find his voice anymore, it long since abandoned him.
Kaito approached with a guarded caution that Zero couldn't quite pinpoint, as he took in the troubled look that strained his features. It bothered Kaito. Zero probably had as many questions to ask as him, but right now, the issue he was about to address was more important.
He had to test him.
With each step Kaito took closer to Zero, the more insignificant the task of taking in his appearance was. He couldn't care less of the black shirt that hugged his muscular form snugly, the jeans that hung low, but comfortably at his waste, or that set determined gleam in his eye. Though, the closer he inched, the more prominent the tempting view of that exposed slender column of his neck became, before that was the only thing Zero could seem to focus on.
"The association had said you'd fallen" Kaito spoke quietly, looking into amethyst eyes, noticing the intense inner conflict that crossed them like a gust of wind through a field of flowers. "I can see you're still somewhat sane though." He paused, tilting his head. "But for how long can you control it?" It was as if the hunter in him had been triggered, as he knelt down on the bed next to him; face just inches away from his own. In all but an instant, Zero felt like Kaito's worst enemy. The smooth pale skin of Kaito's neck was slightly bared to him, as those endearing hazel eyes fixed to lavender like a moth to a flame, before darting to and from his lips, tempting Zero's very failure.
The temptation... it was otherworldly indeed, it was a temptation for which that Zero had an undying, longing desire, more so now as it so freely presented itself to him. He could feel that iron will cave, as he strained a desperate, trembling arm up, before resting his hand on the warm, inviting skin of his childhood friend's neck. The very blood pulsated beneath his touch, pushing and pulling, as though beckoning him forward, beckoning his tongue to dart out and lather the soft skin, beckoning hungry aching fangs to protrude.
Kaito could feel Zero's entire form tremble beside him, and the erratic breathing against his neck, making him shudder against his will. He wanted to pull away as a sudden onslaught of anger, disbelief, and sadness washed over him, but instead he forced himself still. Perhaps he was wrong; maybe it really was already too late to save him... Just like it was too late to save him.
Kaito closed his eyes and waited grievously for the sharp bite...
Only to have to mask his shocked relief when it never came.
"Don't patronize me Kaito" The hand Zero had at Kaito's neck fell to his chest only to weakly push him away, shifting his eyes away from piercing brown.
Kaito fingered the skin of Zero's tattoo, watching it glow with varying intensity, before attacking Zero with new resolve as he moved in closer again, acting as if he wasn't pushed away to begin with. It was too early to bask in the feel of raw relief, he had to make sure.
"Does me being this close make you want it? Is it hard to resist?" His lips were a hushed whisper at his ear, like the seductive hiss of a long lost lover.
"I said don't patronize me" Zero hissed. He was trying so hard not to let the blood-lust consume him, so very hard. He was a lot stronger than Kaito gave him credit for; he was impressed as well as relieved. He didn't want to have to take the life of another close to him; once was enough. Kaito let out a light chuckle to lighten the tense atmosphere, before his expression morphed into one of seriousness once more.
"They said Kaname Kuran was keeping watch over you." Like some pure-bloods dog... He paused for a moment. "He wasn't the one that did this to you, was he?" He mused, features drawn with disgust, anger. He kept a close eye on the Silverette's expression, only to watch his head shoot up like a bullet.
"No" The word came out of his lips without thinking.
Why was he protecting the pure-blood?
"I find it hard to believe simple level-E's wield a poison with the magnitude of that incredible strength." He sighed heavily. "I didn't think you would make it. "I don't know why you're protecting him Zero, and if you are, I will find out." As paranoid as always, Zero thought. His distrust for pureblood creatures was formidable, just like Zero. The two were alike in so many ways.
You're not protecting him. You're protecting yourself. Your pride. Pride had always meant a big deal to him, but he'd lost that in front of Kaname, it had been stripped from him without no mercy what so ever. But just because he'd been broken in front of him it didn't mean he'd let anyone else see that.
He didn't want nobody else dealing with his problems. No one needed to know. No one could find out how badly he was used, broken, tormented. He could sort this out on his own.
You fool, you need help.
No.
He wasn't that weak; he'd like to think anyway. Or maybe it was his distrust of people as a whole that had always been his biggest weakness? Kaito had done enough for him already. He let his head fall back on the pillow. He hated this. He loathed being so useless. He turned away, feeling the broken walls that surrounded him slowly build itself up again.
"I'll be back later" Kaito murmured somewhat distantly, pulling himself away, before throwing his coat on. "Stay in bed and rest up." His voice softened ever so slightly.
"Where are you going?" His voice cracked; an underlying desperation that was asking if he were leaving and never coming back. The thought alone made him uneasy, enough to say he might even feel a little scared. He didn't want to be alone anymore; he never thought the feeling would suffocate him so much.
"Out" Kaito replied curtly, walking out of the door.
Kaname POV
He let the darkness encompass him, as he caressed the silver chains, encrusted in dried up blood.
His blood.
His eyes flickered red. Self restraint... Such a thing didn't seem to exist to Kaname anymore. He held himself against the walls, eyes cast down upon the floor where the ex-hunter would otherwise be sat. He let out a long and throaty humourless laugh that rang through the dark silence, only for it to sound like it was mocking him, before returning back to the faux-comfort of his 'new' home.
This was the end. There was no turning back now, not even if he left something that he might desperately desire – that he'd made sure no longer existed.
He sighed and slumped against the door as he let it close behind him, breaking him away from the black of night, as he re-opened his eyes only to be met with a different kind of darkness; an overwhelming one that clouded his heart, and suffocated his senses.
This was home.
"Kaname, where did you go?" The voice startled him, and if not for those sad gentle eyes glowing in the dark, he would've thought he'd imagined it. Yuki.
"Nowhere" He lied, voice flatter than usual.
To him...
"Kaname" Her voice softened; a tone that spoke underlying distrust. "If there's something wrong..." She paused, inching closer. Lifting her hand to his cheek, she focused her gaze on his face, trying to get him to look back at her. "You can tell me anything"
Do you miss him..?
"I know" He paused. He couldn't He really couldn't. That was the sad truth. If she knew everything, what would she do? What would he do? Would she ever look at him the same way again? She'd hate him, and never want to lay those pretty little eyes on him forever more.
If she knew... If she knew...
The loving gaze that bore into him now would only morph into a look of the utmost hatred; he was sure, if he knew Yuki correctly that is. She had a kind heart though; maybe she'd find it in there to forgive him?
No. You can't tell her.
He was living a constant lie, one he'd been living most his life, only now it had begun to bother him. Continuously lying to the person he'd never wanted to hurt, it was painful. The thousands of lives he'd steal mercilessly each day, and up until now, what made this simple life he'd taken any different?
Kiryu
He forced a smile.
"I just needed a walk Yuki" I killed him...
Yuki looked at him doubtfully. She let her hand drop and turned away. There was a short silence.
"If it's me... Then please just tell me!" She spun around to face Kaname, tears streaming down her face, cascading waterfalls, a fountain of desperate sorrow. "If it's something I did... I want to know... I can change Kaname." He could hear the desperate waver in that seemingly childlike voice. It pained him immensely; his heart ached for the poor girl...
For him...
She was startled when large arms embraced her form. "Yuki" He paused, voice soft, apologetic.
Zero...
"Never" I'd never meant to hurt you like this...
"Never think you've done anything wrong" It's not you... It's me...
"Everything is fine, really" I've done something terrible...
"I'm sorry I've made you worry like this" Forgive me... Please forgive me for this sin I've committed.
He pulled back slightly, and searched her face. His lips were fixed into a smile, but his eyes were frowning, an endless abyss of despair swallowing the fine wine of glowing gaze. She wasn't crying anymore. He looked deep into those chocolate orbs.
She didn't believe him. She had every right not to.
"Why don't you go back to sleep? It's still early" Hold me... Please... Stay for just a little longer.
"Okay..." Don't leave me... No not you too...
Anyone but you.
"Come back to bed soon okay?" She flashed a small smile back just before she disappeared up the stairs; a smile just as fake as his.
I can't go back to something that's no longer there...
A/N: Woah flash back! I remember how intense this last scene felt when I wrote it~ I hope I conveyed it well. I remember a lot of people got confused with the structure the last time I wrote it, but I couldn't find it in my heart to change it. For those who didn't get it, Kaname's dialogue juxtaposed with the Italics, were his spoken lies conflicting with his inner truths.
Basically, our almighty Kuran-sama is a bit of a mess at the moment.
Sorry this was another chapter that should've been out months ago. Hope you enjoyed anyway. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts :) Always much appreciated!