A/N: I think we're beyond the point of my apologies by now, but I can promise you this; I'm not dead yet, I swear!
and so behold, the comeback of my hideously rusty writing...
Chapter 12: Repression
Soft, smooth skin, unscathed like the purity of a new-born baby was admired closely with a beautifully thoughtless gaze, hidden beneath the thick, long eyelashes of a certain pure-blood lord. The long, slender, inviting neck before him was bared with unconscious anticipation, strongly reacting to him even enraptured with the state of deep sleep. Such a sight, it was dangerously inviting indeed.
He fingered a golden strand of hair between his fingers, admiring the silky texture as empty needless thoughts crossed his mind. Blonde hair was splayed out almost artistically, gracing each direction just like the petals of a very rare and elegant flower. He had never denied that Takuma Ichijou was handsome.
He towered over the unsuspecting form, intense with desire and curiosity as he inched closer, lips raised just bellow his lush jaw. Kaname traced the vein pulsating beneath the skin with teeth that seemed to glow in the dark. This temptation before him, it was a temptation only a pureblood could successfully resist, if they had so wanted, yet here he was, breathing shakily against the blonde's pulse. He flicked his tongue out, sharp and heavy with the desire to own, the longing to possess.
Takuma Ichijou was his. They were all his.
The young man on the bed shuffled in his sleep, a soft sleepy moan falling past parted lips, a beholder of beautiful even in unconsciousness.
He had hardly noticed that Takuma's eyelashes fluttered open, only to reveal a half-lidded stare of pure emerald glistening with a mix of shock and desire. Kaname trailed his slick tongue along the length of his neck, before he darted his eyes across his face, the hint of a smirk pulling at his lips. His friend had never been much of a heavy sleeper.
"Kaname," The blonde uttered huskily, not fully aware of what was going on, but even so, offered more room as he lolled his head back further.
The silent whisper hardly reached his ears as he traced the very points of his awaiting canines along the exposed flesh. What was it that Kaname was looking for that he was suddenly possessed to bury his fangs deep into the neck of his dearest friend?
He didn't know. He didn't care.
"Yuki..." Ichijou murmured; a confused warning, although anticipation mercilessly clawed at his being, even as he tried to clear the sleepy haze that had a tight grasp on his senses.
"Shhh" Kaname hushed him. The warm breath caressing his neck like the deceptively gentle stroke of a lover made him shudder beneath Kaname's lips and without even thinking, Ichijou clung to him as those sharp teasing fangs pierced his beautifully tan skin. Arching his back against the intimate intrusion, the strong hammering of his pulse reverberated throughout his entire body as Kaname drew each beat of his heart in, sucking greedily, hungrily.
Limbs that had been encompassed with the peace of sleep, tensed, instead enraptured with a pleasure only the bite of a pureblood vampire could offer. His own fangs elongating of their own accord, as he slowly parted his lips, resting his head back against the pillow as a hiss rolled off his tongue.
Ichijou's blood, it was almost as pure as his own. Kaname could taste it; that aristocratic blood. Only the red liquid that lathered his tongue and filling his mouth, it was all his own, thick with the purest honesty. When he drank from Takuma, he was enveloped in all his best qualities, the taste of his friendship, his loyalty, it wrapped around his body like a blanket, gentle, yet isolate, overwhelming. As nice as it was, it left the taste feeling bitter in his mouth.
Takuma really was his polar opposite. His own blood probably seethed with dishonesty. He could only imagine what the taste of his own blood was like to Yuki... To induce such a thing as tears, sadness. Kaname was a cruel man.
He tightened his hand in threads of pure gold. Licking, sucking, drinking; unwilling to stop as he showed no restraint whatsoever. Searching... searching. What was it he was looking for?
This blood in his mouth, it was nothing like hers... nothing like his.
The pleasure that was drowning Takuma faded as his vision began to blur, the darkness of the room swirling around like one big massive shadow. He tightened his hold on Kaname, fingers grasping roughly at his silk shirt before their grip weakened considerably.
Stop.
No.
You're going to kill him Kaname.
I don't care.
He's going to let you kill him...
Don't care.
...
...You will.
Hands that were grasping at his shirt released the material completely. The body in his arms steadily falling limp. Kaname breathed heavily, fighting with his fangs to let go. He shuddered, licking at the gash in the neck he'd created. The tense form that had been clinging desperately at him was frighteningly weak. The colour of plush lips had gone from flush red to pale, and the warmth of his skin growing slowly absent.
Kaname panicked.
biting hard enough at his tongue, he pressed his bloody lips against Ichijou's.
Why was he doing this again?
The next few days had whizzed by as though they never saw existence, and before Zero knew it, it had been an entire week until he'd escaped from Kaname's dark isolation he'd otherwise call his own personal hell.
To say it was an utter relief that he was finally out of his clutches, would be the understatement of the century, yet even so, an unforgiving loom of anxiousness constantly followed him around, clinging to him like it was his own shadow.
He hated it; this debilitating feeling.
Where the fresh air and shift of scenery should've been refreshing, it had the opposing effect. It was like going from one extreme to another; Utterly alone for an immeasurable amount of time, to being hurled into a totally different reality, filled with one too many people. The thought alone made anxiety creep up on him like an unwanted spider- it threw him out of the loop. Sure he never much liked the presence of other people before anyway, but this, it was something on an entirely other level.
In the space of an entire week, he had gone out countless times with Kaito. They had been shopping, for both clothes, food, and absolutely nothing in particular, and on more than one occasion he'd been practically dragged by the scruff of his neck; pulled mercilessly by the ear, grabbed and practically dragged along by his arm like a little kid.
"Nope, not coming."
"Oi, if you're going to act like a kid I'm going to treat you like one."
"Fuck off, I told you I'm not going." He protested, vehemently opposing to the very idea. He wasn't being childish. Not childish at all.
Yeah right.
If Zero had been any younger Kaito might have sent him off to the naughty step or something. The silverette was lucky Kaito hadn't washed his mouth out with soap already. He shook his head.
Even kaito had noticed it, witnessing every little bump he made with a stranger. How every small unfamiliar noise made in his vicinity made him flinch unexpectedly. He noticed how all the unwanted glances seemingly shot in his direction made his skin crawl as he squirmed uncomfortably.
Zero being more avoidant than what was considered normal, it set alarm bells off in his head. This wasn't a matter a social phobia. It was much more than that.
This wasn't some kind of anxiety disorder, not at all.
He knew this was all down to him.
Zero was like a dog that had escaped from its cage, terrified of being found by its owner, by Kaito's fierce deduction anyway.
Someone was after Zero, and Zero seemed to know it.
Zero couldn't relax. He felt ridiculous for feeling the way he did; not that he'd ever admit it, but the thought of seeing Kaname's face at the turn of every corner made him freeze, cold to the bone in his very step. What the hell made Zero think that Kaname would appear here of all places; he did not know.
What he was even more unsure about was how Kaito convinced him to go to a coffee shop without so much as a complaint. The brunette thought it was nothing short of a miracle.
"I'm telling you, the coffee is out of this world." Kaito enthused, as he lead them to a booth well away from other people, not that the place was packed anyway. He had been trying everything and anything to get Zero out of his apartment in the past couple of days, and for the first time, he agreed to come along without fuss.
"I'm not a baby, you don't have to hold my hand you know," Zero lightly yanked the arm that Kaito had gotten a hold of, "s'not like i'm gonna run away." he mumbled the last part under his breath. It's not like he had anywhere to run to anyway, though, knowing his luck, he'd run head first into the devil.
"You still radiate hostility." Kaito smirked fondly. "I guess some things never change."
Zero shrugged nonchalantly, before brandishing a smirk of his own "I don't remember you being so motherly." Kaito offered an equally nonchalant shrug. "It's only because I care about yo-"
"Can I take your order?" The deafeningly high soprano of a woman cut in, with a hideously bright smile that made Zero reflexively want to rub at his eyes and shuffle closer to the wall.
"Just the usual Janice,"
"And for your handsome friend?" She asked, fluttering her eyelashes in what she thought may have looked sexy, but to Zero, she just looked terrifying. Janice was staring at him a little too closely for his own comfort.
"The same," Kaito answered for him, eager to get rid of her, while trying not to laugh at an utterly petrified-looking Zero.
"Coming right up," She chirped, hair bobbing after her as she skipped off. Zero shuddered uncomfortably.
"I feel violated."
"Yeah, she tends to make people feel that way." Kaito chuckled, playfully bumping his knees against Zero's in an act to comfort him.
"So come on," Kaito nodded Zero, leaning across the table a little and propping his head up on his palms expressing his interest. "What have you been doing for the last five years?"
Smoldering hazel eyes stared expectantly at him. The past wasn't particularly a subject Zero wanted to think on, not when all it consisted of was purebloods, vampires, and more vampires. Now that he actually thought about it... What the hell had he been doing with his life?
What did it even matter?
How long did he even have left?
He sighed. "The usual stuff... baby sitting vampires, killing vampires... vampire stuff" he shrugged. It was true. "You?"
"Sounds exciting." Kaito smiled, and he could've sworn he saw Kaito's eyes twinkle. "Me?" he scoffed. "Forever working under the association." like an over-worked maniac, he added as an afterthought.
"Speaking of which... They don't still contact you do they?"
Not yet Kaito, still too soon.
"As far as they're concerned, I'm as good as dead." Zero stated matter-of-factly.
Kaito frowned deeply. He's right, what interest would they have with Zero in his state?
"They mentioned that Kuran got his hands on you."
How... That was what Kaito wanted to know...
I said too soon idiot, at least have a proper conversation first.
Shut up.
"Yeah... They didn't think to mention it to me though." Zero rubbed his hand against his face, pushing away the image that forced its way in front of the eyes of his mind.
The tall, dark unfamiliar silhouette emerged from the shadows, the incandescent candle lighting flickering warmly across sharp, handsome features. Long, dark brown hair framed his pale face perfectly, and Zero could never forget it, how this being superior in every single way, whispered softly.
"You belong to me now."
He had every reason to be afraid.
Zero fell deathly silent, staring down with the most vacant expression Kaito had ever seen.
"Wha-"
Before Kaito could properly question what Zero meant, the waitress startled them with their beverages, placing them on the table with an overly eager smile. He saw Zero flinch like he'd just been slapped, but the expression that crossed his face was gone in the same instant.
The ex-hunter shook his head of the trance, glad for the sudden distraction. He didn't know how long he could've been trapped in the memory, vivid as reality. It wasn't the first time, but he was hoping it was the last.
Zero blinked looking up at the women Kaito had labelled 'Janice' and all he could seem to focus on was the obnoxiously bright red of her hair.
"If you need anything else," She paused, looking over Zero once again slowly, with a suggestively seductive wink. Kaito tried not to laugh as he watched Zero having a hard time not unleashing his trade-mark glare. "Don't be shy to ask."
"No thanks," Kaito mumbled under his breath, shooing her away with a single glance before focusing all his attention on Zero once more.
"How are you feeling?" Kaito reached out for his mug, the ceramic searing his hand with its heat. He blinked indifferently.
"I think I've had enough of girls for one life time," Zero uttered, staring into the swirling mist of his coffee as memories of being swarmed in the girls of cross academy flashed to mind. Every mans dream was his absolute worst nightmare. He cringed.
It was then that Yuki's face materialized without warning. He massaged his temple with his eyes closed, feeling the warm steam of the coffee faintly against his face.
What the hell have I done?
"Oh?" Kaito scoffed at the expression on Zero's face. "Do tell"
"I'd rather not." Zero grimaced. "All I'll say is there were one too many fan-girls back at the academy." Not that they were fan-girling over him at all, but it was nerve-grating all the same.
"That would sound like a blessing to most."
"Hardly," he opened his eyes to stare into the swirling chocolatey-looking liquid that had been placed in front of him. "More like suffocating."
He couldn't bring himself to drink it.
Kaito chuckled, nodding in agreement. "If you're not into girls."
"Yeah" Zero mumbled distantly, staring blankly down into his mug.
Silence seemed to settle between the two after that. Kaito had half given up trying to get a response from Zero. He'd even resorted to talk about the weather, and Kaito, under no circumstance, ever spoke about the weather.
It took him to get half way through his drink, before he noticed something wasn't quite right. Zero hadn't touched the drink, Zero hadn't so much as moved.
"It'll get cold." the hunter watched closely as the silverette looked up at him dumbly, vaguely more present than he had been, though his expression was still elsewhere.
"You do like coffee, don't you?" Kaito lost him then.
"You like coffee, don't you?"
He watched the wisps of smoke emerge from the cup, the ascending ribons barely visible in the darkness. The bittersweet aroma wafted up his nose, the alluring scent enough to calm his senses, enough to pierce through the exhaustion his consciousness was constantly battling with.
The only true warmth in this cold dark room, was not the presence of their two living bodies, not the sweet essence of life running through their veins, but the beverage plain and simple, sitting in the very center of the room.
"It's the only thing that keeps the nightmares away, isn't it?" The smooth condescending rumble that fell by his ears like a whisper spoke of understanding. Why was he always able to see those seductively cadaverous lips curl, morph into that malicious smirk, practically illuminating the darkness, when everything else, it was invisible to him?
He clenched his jaw. Quicker than the flick of a match aflame amongst a puddle of gasoline, that infamous anger of his was alight. The only sign of his inner fury was expressed with a twitch of his hand. Had the mug been even remotely within his reach, he would've knocked it aside, taking pleasure in the literal sound of spilled milk, and most of all, the fury that would cross Kuran's otherwise perfectly composed face.
The jangle of the chains against the wall in his movement assaulted his ear like the hissing scratch of nails against a chalkboard. He physically cringed at the offending noise, though he half hoped the sound would drown Kaname's voice out. He wished.
"Go on, drink it." The smooth taunt came, a soft and as warm as melted butter. It made him absolutely sick.
"Did you want something else?"
"Or maybe, you want something else?" The suggestion was pure liquid seduction, enough to momentarily distract the beast Zero had successfully kept under reigns. He knew exactly what the implications of 'something else' suggested...
No.
"I don't want it" His voice came hoarse, though the sound of fingers sliding against the silk of his dress shirt was amplified, as though he was standing mere inches away from him. At that moment, Kaname approached him, with the display of a single hand caressing the first few buttons out of their holes with ease. The mug previously in question, was out of sight... out of mind. The pureblood smoothed his hand across his skin, fingers caressing from colar bone, between the crook of his neck, all the way to his shoulder, and back again. Kaname applied pressure to his own skin with his fingers, enough to leave red marks in their wake, but not enough to break the skin. Yet. He held Zero's dark lavender gaze, which hadn't yet moved from his own.
No matter what this private display showed, this wasn't an offer at all, this was just a tease. It had happened before, and he wouldn't fall for it again. Kuran wouldn't make him look... he wouldn't.
He ran finger nails down his neck, finally breaking the skin, his eyes never leaving Zero's, and the smirk he had planted on his face faded to something more sinister.
Zero was staring at a blank mask, one that stared back at him as blood as pure as gold poured from his deliberate afflictions.
His heart beat once.
He was certain the entire world heard it.
"Zero?" Kaito tilted his head, studying Zero closely before reaching out a hand to place a hand on his shoulder.
Zero held his breath, Kaname's bloody hand reaching out to embrace his jaw, a thumb delicately sliding over his gaunt cheek-bone. He was unable to hear the beating of his own heart anymore, he was sure he was dead all over again.
No... this was just his body reminding him of what he really was.
The hand shook lightly at his shoulder.
The thumb dropped lower, falling to slide against the corner of his lips, he caressed the length of his bottom lip, dry with unspoken desire. His blood-covered lip quivered uncontrollably.
Zero flinched, recoiling like he'd just been burnt by fire. "Snap out of it Zero"
"No?" a shaky breath passed his lips, the surprise in Kaname's tone giving him the strength to resist just that little bit longer.
"I already told you," he forced out through gritted teeth.
I don't want it!" His arm jerked in response, the glowing red of his glare was menacing, inhumane. The realization of what he'd just done smacking into him in the form of a thousand shards of glass.
The vermilion that had possessed his eyes had vanished in all but an instant, as did his anger."Fuck" Zero uttered under his breath, the room practically spinning around him as he stood up in a hurry, hoping no one had been on the receiving end of his flying mug of coffee.
The girl with the fire-red hair was staring at Zero like he was freaking insane, but that was the least of Kaito's problems.
The last thing he expected was for Zero to pass out across the table.
What the fuck just happened?
A/N: I don't know what I'm writing anymore, I think we've established that much.
That aside, thank you for all the support for this story as of far, I've really appreciated all your feedback. I never expected to get such a positive response, and I'm hoping you guys continue to enjoy.
Thanks for reading.