A/N: A big thank you to the past me who pre-wrote half of this chapter for future me, you're awesome. 5 years later I return with no idea what I was going for in this story, but lets gooo
(Italics are characters thoughts, dreams, or the onset of past events)
Chapter 14: Gone
Kaname Kuran paced up and down the length of his study. Amongst the dull incandescent lighting, the tall, ceiling-heighted bookcases oscillated shadows all across the room. His lithe form darted between the flickering blocks of darkness, the plush carpet cushioning each heavy foot-fall of incessant pacing.
Dark burgundy eyes drank in the small inferno before him, the beauty of his gaze reflecting the seductive sway of flames the same way his shiny black shoes did. The gentle crackle that caressed his ears now was usually enough to calm him, yet, in this moment even still, the thick tapestry beneath him hugged every step heavier than the last. Had someone been misfortunate enough to gaze upon the scene, they would've been the beholder of a sight ever so menacing.
The dark gaze watched on, as searing hot blue faded to auburn, feeling as the cold air around him warmed almost comfortingly. This feeling of warmth in itself was a farce. The illusion failed to stop the gnaw on his own lip as he fingered the smooth marble of his queen chess piece.
When was the last time Kaname had felt any semblance of warmth?
He exhaled, discomposed, unrefined. The warmth that enveloped his body in the aftermath of his climax dragged a shudder from each of his stiff limbs. The corner of his lips tilted sadistically as he drew his head back. Mouth parted, he caressed his tongue along the length of his bottom lip as the taste of desire's satisfaction teased his senses. The tingling warmth remained with him even as he shifted back, glancing down as he left the sheath of pleasure holding him captive.
Captive…
Another breath left his lips- one of curt amusement.
He stared at the form
as it quivered and groaned beneath him, and for a moment, there were no feelings, no thoughts, just nothingness.
Deliverance fell upon him as night fell upon day.
His fangs sank into his prey. The taste of metallic filth flooded his mouth, laced with a fear the body before him never betrayed. The blood of a Level-E. The blood of a hunter. Despite the irony of it all, it was the blood that exhilarated Kaname Kuran the most.
It was dirty. As dirty as looking in the mirror. It was easy to get lost. Lost in pleasure... lost in self destruction.
Zero Kiryuu
He closed his eyes.
His grasp tightened with each stride as he waited for it.
He was waiting...
He sensed the presence far before the smooth voice reached his ears, heard each unsettled footstep as thick rubber soles met the same elegant carpeted floor that decorated the hall outside. Kaname closed his eyes as the sound drew closer, louder, until it fell in synchronicity with the ticking clock on the wall- much like a second heartbeat, only inside his skull.
"Kaname," Takuma Ichijou; he could not mistake the concern as anyone else, laced with what Kaname could only recognise as uncertainty and faux composure. He was sure the only person Takuma was really trying to convince was himself.
The Pureblood kept his gaze glued to the ribbons of heat as sparks flew to and throw. Takuma regarded him with careful consideration as hints of hesitation crawled between the words of the message he came to deliver.
"Miss Yuki, she's gone."
I know.
"Well then," Kaname's response of unwavering composure came like the perfect performance rehearsal.
He was hardly surprised, in fact, would have expected nothing less of her, Yuki. He had been the one to send her away after all and he had been the one to watch her leave.
He had sent her running...
He shifted the long drapes between his fingers as he saw her lithe form draw further and further away. Unresolved anger, confusion and frustration fuelled each one of her little steps. Every tiny emotion, every small thought, he felt and heard it all.
They had just had another argument, one of which he knew was the final draw. He had faltered for a moment. His control had wavered. His fist had hit the mantel and the tremor reverberated in the space between them. Books upon books rattled in their places among the shelves and it was then that Yuki had felt it, saw it. Her sadness had morphed into an unresolved anger that mirrored his own nearly perfectly.
Another single crack.
In something so well built, the veins of destruction only grew.
The blood on Kaname's knuckles was a symbol. He stared at his essence blankly. Self-hatred and something more took a hold of him as he balled his bloody hand into a fist.
Kaname's hurt had nearly drawn Yuki to his immediate side, but her resolve was stronger and her usual care and consideration just as void.
Neither of them had noticed- the way the shattered glass of the windowed wall fell before their feet.
In that moment, Kaname had stopped. He stopped everything. He cut himself off completely.
"Kaname-sama"
It had been the concern in the familiar voice that dragged him back. How long had he been standing there... in that same place? A subtle glance around spoke of Yuki's absence as his eyes fell to land on Ichijou Takuma.
"Don't worry" The soft voice continued on, as Kaname's gaze slid to the smooth emerald of his closest friend. "I'm sure she's safe. She is a Pureblood after all."
He hardly registered these words that were far from comforting.
It was only a matter of time...
Kaname turned fully to regard Ichijou. "What are you waiting for?" Glassy eyes stared straight through the aristocrat before him. "Find her" The demand came with no place for argument- an order in its tallest form.
Ichijou pursed his lips, his fingers unconsciously gliding along the wound on his neck. He felt the sensitive skin pulsate under his fingertips, as the surprised gasp came. Long eyelashes stroked lightly tinted cheeks as he blinked. He was quick to turn his gaze from Kaname. The warmth he felt was a vast contrast from the sheer display of utter coldness that stood before Takuma Ichijou.
"Y-yes" he stuttered for a moment in response, hesitating briefly before vanishing almost instantly the next.
She'd be back long before Takuma could find her. He knew this for a fact. The best place for his dear friend right now though was far away from him. That was the best place for everyone right now.
Yuki was unable to stop it. Everything.
Helplessness shook her entire being like Kaname's fist to it's unsuspecting target. She ran, hard and fast; through bushes, through trees, through shrubs alike. Unprepared, but unrelenting she drove forward. Puddles splattered and water sprayed as the muddy ground dented beneath her rush. Water flooded her shoes and soaked her socks, and specks of mud soiled the hem of her pretty blue dress.
She saw very little through the stream of her lament, her thoughts of location and destination meant very little. The further she got, and the more time that passed, the harder it became to see. Like a plaguing blindness, her tears turned into a disease. Bony knuckles wiped at the relentless stream of water that exuded. Her pace quickened as her beautifully long brunette hair fell behind her like a cape in the wind.
From the inside out she felt as though she were going insane. She felt like an inanimate object amongst a storm, swept off her feet and dragged wherever the wind-current took her, only in this case, Kaname was her storm and she was caught up in self-destruction.
You know nothing of insanity. Your innocence... I resent it.
Had she really felt those words from Kaname, or was she imagining it? When had she began living a life where her own emotions- her own thoughts were telling her lies.
Was this also his doing?
The sudden soothing thoughts that attempted to invade their way through the thin walls of her mind, she fought them all off. Kaname was worried. Yuki realised that.
It was at that realisation that her frown deepened and the ache that had taken her heart captive was almost palpable. Why was it that Kaname always seemed to care when it was too late?
"Mummy, why is she crying?" The child-like shrill made her realise her legs had brought her to a halt, but even in her lapse the tears falling down her cheeks had ceased to stop.
Don't look at me
"I don't know sweetie."
I said don't look at me!
The ground shuddered beneath their feet, and the wind roared like like the growling thunder of an onset storm. The mother propelled backward with the force, and the remaining innocent fearful pair of eyes too scared to look away provoked an empathy that took her back to her childhood. For just a split second, she felt human once again. The gaze that reminded her of a gaze that was once her own... It only stood as memory that she was the kind of monster zero never wanted to become... The kind of monster that had almost stolen her life, and soiled his, so many years ago.
Zero…
The smile that now spread across her lips was beautiful even in sadness.
Kaname...
The curve soon tilted into a frown, and her eyes ignited.
Kaname... She was awfully hungry...
The shrill cry that broke the air prompted death as the fangs of a Pureblood pierced the unsuspecting human. She wrapped her arms around the small child as it steady grew limp in her arms. She held on tightly, burrying her face deeper as desperation beckoned her fangs sink deeper.
This wasn't what she hungered for.
She took comfort in none of it.
Blood-red eyes lit the dark, it was a reflection Zero had seen one too many a times in his life. He stared at his twin in the mirror, his gaze the only thing that seemed to light up in the smog of darkness. The reflection stared on in awe and wonder, head dipping from left to right.
"Ichiru..?" Zero tugged at the threat of his freedom, as wisps of darkness tangled themselves around each of his limbs like tendrils.
"Ichiru?" The familiar voiced back confusion.
That wasn't Ichiru... that was...
"I'm you." The smirk
that lit up in his eyes was not his own. The onset of fear was sudden, the anger even more so. His entire body trembled with the mixed emotion, as he tugged his arms free of the wispy tendrils.
A single bullet.
He'd reached for his gun, and pulled the trigger.
The sound of his own manic laugh rang through the sound of shattered glass.
He fell to his knees amongst the shards as the gun clattered to the ground beside him. The pain that dug at his knees was nothing in rival to the agony that dug into his chest. His heart pounded, and as he cast his gaze down, he met eyes with a hundred fragments of himself.
Zero POV
A coolness that could only resemble that of metal pressed down sharply in intervals against his searing forehead. The familiar feel of constraint locked his limbs down to a place of equally familiar warmth. The contrast was confusing, both soothing and fear-inducing. His breath came in short bursts, followed by groans and moans as his body tried to move. It was too tight... to tight to breathe.
"Nnn"
His eyes shot open, darting to the figure pacing beside him. The shadow was but a blur in the surrounding dark. He swallowed the immediate fear as it stuck to his chest, moved slowly down into his stomach, and then straight back up again in a short breathy gasp.
His arched his neck to the side as the groan left his lips.
"K-Ka-" His voice was cut short with another gasp. "Ah" The shadow ceased movement. The gasps grew more intense. "Ka-"
Another sharp inhale.
"Kaname"
The choke shook his body. The tremor of his limbs did nothing to loosen his constraint. Any thoughts prior to that of this very moment were lost. Everything was as distantly blurry as the figure in the room.
Like he was suffocating, he choked once again around the name that left his lips.
"Ka-Kaname"
Uncontrollably as he convulsed, the next name he uttered was uttered like a plead.
"Kaito"
End my misery
For a moment, Zero's body fell still, his breathing normal. A moment of reprieve enveloped him but the feeling was all but gone in the same instant.
Save me
The writhing resumed. The pain, intensified.
Just kill me
The shadow stopped pacing.
I don't want to die
The foreign entity moved closer, close enough to recognise, Zero stared straight at it.
It was perfectly clear who was standing before him.
Yet Zero was all but blind to see.
Kaito had watched for hours. After Zero had collapsed in front of his sink, he watched him convulse like no human would. He'd had no choice, tying him down from his shoulders to ankles in the same place Zero had first woken up in his abode.
There were several moments.
There were several moments that Kaito had almost pulled the trigger. He'd watched on as closed eyes shot open and closed again intermittently as hungry vermilion fought fearful lilac.
Admiration rivalled hesitation as he cocked and uncocked his gun at the threat tied to his bed. His friend was fighting a battle, that much was evident. He carefully considered the constant change in his hues as they danced in a way that would surely lead to his demise.
It was clear to see, the beast was winning. But Kaito...
Kaito was determined.
The minute he lost Zero to the monster antagonising him, he would end it. He'd made that much clear up until this point.
Even so, he couldn't help but think himself selfish. It felt almost cruel to let him suffer like this now...
It was then that the stable lilac resurfaced in his vision, seeding doubt, and it was then that Kaito's eyes again met blank liquid lavender.
"Zero?"
"Please" His voice came clear as he reached his hand as far as he could in its bind.
The corners of Kaito's lips dropped.
Was he asking him to..?
His tongue darted out to wet suddenly dry lips, as he could feel the sneer surface on them. He looked away. The determination he'd had but a moment ago shattered, and before even realising it, his feet had taken him to stop right before the door.
What was he doing?
Was he really thinking of leaving Zero there like that?
Bang
The gunshot was loud enough to make him flinch where he stood. The memory of everything that followed flooding in his mind.
The way his brother's body fell limp and lifeless in his arms...
Could he really do that again?
He glanced back to meet the pleading gazed fixed on him. A few breaths passed as he waited for those eyes to shift once more.
"Shit..." he mumbled under his breath as in one swift motion he moved to straddle Zero on the bed. It was only when he nicked his skin with the edge of the sharp blade sheathed to his waist that those eyes shifted once more.
Pressing his non-bloody palm against Zero's forehead, he pressed him further into the pillow. Letting the blood accumulate at the self-inflicted wound, he let it drop into his friend's mouth.
If he was going to do this, he was going to be in control.
...I must be fucking crazy...
A/N: I keep coming back to this story because writing these characters go insane is so much fun, and I'm tired of starting things I never finish. Lets finally finish this together.