Arya's body felt shaky as she walked through the chilly air of night. Rocks littered the area and she took it upon herself to quietly leap from stone to stone. She only hopped from one to another, and if the next was too far, she would walk the distance. It only served to take her mind off of things.
Coming upon a large boulder, she just decided to sit down and lean against it for a while and rest. Her mind has been in the past today.
When they arrived in Carvahall, the village was mostly intact, untouched by everything except for nature. It made her sad for some reason. Maybe it was because Eragon used to live here, or at least somewhere nearby, she didn't exactly know. The way things looked just reminded her that all good things must come to an end. All things are eventually left behind to age and wither.
This place is where Eragon was born and raised. Saphira hatched for him and Brom helped them get to the Varden with eventually both her and Murtagh in tow. That felt like ages ago now. So much has happened.
She let her legs unfold and lay flat out on the soft ground as she stared at the large full moon that casted silver light over the land. It's been almost exactly two months since the baby came into existence. Two months since she's seen him. Two months since she felt the strange freedoms war had granted her, despite it having ended several months before. Everyone she had worked with for so long were all together again, and a part of her is sad to have closed that chapter of her life. It's all she's ever known.
Her left hand came to rest gently on the small swell of her belly, and she closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the sounds of the night.
"The moon is pretty." She whispered into the silence after a while. "It's bright enough to cast shadows tonight." She opened her eyes and looked around. The Spine was visible from where she sat, and the moon shone over them, marking the first few hours of morning as it began to set in the West. She turned to face them. "You know… your father is over those… hills." She found it in herself to chuckle when comparing them to the Beor mountains. "On the other side, there's a vast ocean whose waters are so beautiful that they've inspired music and sonnets of Elvish, Dwarven, and Human make. We can go see them one day when you're older if you'd like." She said hopefully, though her voice barely ever reached above a whisper. "I… I'd like that." Her voice fell and so did her gaze which landed on her hand. She pulled it away and looked at the Gedwëy Ignasia marking. The faint glow was now stronger, brighter. The child was growing, and she felt so conflicted about that.
Ever since her mind touched her baby's, she's felt strangely attached to the young life. On the other hand, it still terrified her that something was living on the inside of her body and she feels torn to shreds because of this new war over her own emotions. She still refuses to read her book, though. She'll cross that bridge when she gets there.
"I think you're bigger than you're supposed to be." She sighed as she laid both hands on her stomach. "I'm not showing much, but I am and I think that's strange because it's still so early. I checked, there's thankfully only one of you, n-not that I'd be upset if there were two… I don't want to be unfair." She paused and frowned. "This is weird." She sighed and rested her head back against the stone she was leaning against.
It was Fírnen's idea to try talking to the child now that she was a little more used to her pregnancy. A lot of things had changed when she saw her baby through meditation. For one, she realized she was having a boy, but also that he seemed more developed than what she thought eight weeks gestation might look like. He had ears and little fingers…
"Oh, hello." The voice startled Arya, who instantly sat up straight and fixed her shirt with an anxious nature.
"Hello." She responded a little nervously. Before her stood Katrina.
"Can't sleep either?" She offered a small smile.
"Yeah…" Arya sighed honestly. In truth, she just finished turning her stomach wrong-side-out.
"I suppose it's a nice night to not be able to sleep, so I figured I'd stay a while instead of tossing and turning. Do you mind if I joined you?" Katrina asked hopefully with a nod.
"Not at all." Arya tried for a smile, but she felt anxious for some reason.
Katrina smiled and sat down a healthy distance away on Arya's right and the Elf pulled her knees close to her chest. "I like your hair like that, shorter, I mean. Well, I liked it when it was long too, but I think it's pretty when it's on the shorter side as well." There was an obviously nervous nature to her words.
"Thank you." A small smile played on Arya's lips. It's the first in what felt like a long time.
"You're welcome." Katrina said happily as she gazed out amongst the moonlight landscape. "You know, I had to cut my hair once Ismira was born. It continuously got in the way and I lost the patience for it." She chuckled. "Even now she still manages to grab onto my hair and she won't let go. I may grow it out once she's older, though."
Arya's smile faded into a look of gentle concern. "How is she? I know travel can be hard, especially for one as young as she is."
"She's well. Personally, I think she enjoys riding with Fírnen. She's so quiet when she's around him, and I know she's young, but she seems reflective when we're all up in the air like that. Not many people get to see the sky like you and Fírnen can, so it's a privilege that we are able to see the world above the clouds." Katrina said pointedly.
Arya nodded, though it was hard for her to make eye contact with the other woman. "I appreciate your family's willingness to fly. I know it can be… a little uneasy on the stomach and the nerves, but you've all handled it very well. Besides, when Fírnen isn't speaking with me, I believe he's either creatively observing his surroundings or speaking with Ismira. She may be able to understand him if he speaks in pictures or memories. He does that with me sometimes when words don't seem to be enough for him to express the intensity of something." She smiled at her dragon's quirkiness.
"She seems to enjoy it." Katrina smiled with the raven-haired Elf, but soon her smile faded. Silence fell between them and it was comfortable, except the conversation she promised Fírnen she would have with Arya was gnawing away at her stomach. It's already been three days, and the Elf and her dragon will be leaving tomorrow, so it's now or never.
She intends to keep her promise.
"May I ask you something?" She didn't give it much thought, but then again, she doesn't know how to have a rather delicate conversation with the Elven Queen.
Arya forced herself to look over at Katrina, who watched her carefully, and nodded. "Mhm."
The young woman offered a small smile, then looked down at her hands. "For the past two weeks, I uh, I've noticed that you haven't been well. I'm up with Ismira in the early hours of the morning… I wanted to ask if you were okay." Well, it wasn't exactly like what she wished she'd said, but it'll do.
Arya straightened slightly and pulled her knees just a little bit closer, though mindful of the recent curve of her stomach. "Yeah, I'm… I'm okay." She responded softly, her eyes were also locked onto the ground, at a rock covered by moss.
Katrina sighed to herself, then took a deep breath and looked up at her, despite the Elf's refusal to also meet her gaze. "Arya, I… it wasn't so long ago that I was pregnant with Ismira and I know the symptoms. I spoke to Fírnen before I said anything to anyone and he helped me swear this knowledge to secrecy. I truly don't mean to offend you or make you upset, but… I wanted to talk with you about it. Elain did the same for me when I returned from Helgrind because that's when my symptoms started showing up. Fírnen is worried about you as well and asked if I would." She explained as positively as she could.
Arya's eyes widened and she looked over at Katrina. "H-how long have you known?" She despised how shaky her voice sounded.
"Well, I started suspecting something was going on sometime last week, but I wasn't absolutely sure until a few days ago when I talked to Fírnen about it. We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. I just thought you should know that I'm aware of the situation and that I swore myself to secrecy, so you don't have to worry about the information getting out because of me."
Arya looked worried and Katrina smiled, then recited her oath, just to prove her point.
"Thank you…" Arya responded honestly and a little nervously. "How much did Fírnen tell you?" Her hands pressed to the ground and her fingers worried at the blades of grass.
At that, Katrina hesitated. "He… well… he told me that he worries for you. He had me swear to secrecy and explained why it's so important that I not say anything to anyone. He also let me know that…" she hesitated. Would this go against what she said to Fírnen? It was Arya who asked, so she supposed it would be okay. "That Ismira and the child you're carrying will be second cousins."
Arya just nodded and closed her eyes as she exhaled against the wash of emotions she felt. "Yeah… the information he gave you is… accurate…" She said quietly as she set her head between her knees and felt each new exhale warm her thighs through the canvas cloth of her trousers. Her fingers dug into the dirt when she realized she'd been discovered, and she knows it'll only get more noticeable as time ticks by.
Katrina scooted closer then very carefully let her index finger brush the back of Arya's right hand, which relaxed slightly at the contact. "It also means we're family. At least in Human customs we are." She smiled softly, almost wistfully at the prospect.
Arya pulled her head up slightly and blinked a few times to compose herself. Now is not the time to get overly emotional, she decided. "It, um," she cleared her throat. "It's the same in Elvish society as well. We're considered family." At her words she couldn't help but smile slightly. She now has a currently living family that's larger than just her, Firnen, and the baby, who is still very young and not even in this world yet.
Katrina couldn't help smiling as well. "Then welcome." She wrapped her hand around Arya's and squeezed gently. Her smile faded suddenly, and she looked down with concern in her eyes. Arya's gaze followed as silence replaced the momentary delight they both felt. "You're shaking…" the young woman observed.
Arya tensed slightly, then relaxed, relenting herself to vulnerability. Fírnen wanted Katrina to speak with her, his judgment was to help her, not to make her uncomfortable for fun. "It's okay… I just… I get shaky after vomiting and it hasn't worn off yet. It's not your fault, if that was the conclusion you were about to draw."
Katrina seemed to lighten a little bit. "Oh… that's normal if you're concerned about it. Your muscles are still on edge from the adrenaline, which causes you to feel shaky afterwards. May I show you something that might help?" She asked hopefully and was happy that Arya nodded. "What are you going to do?" The Elf asked hesitantly.
The young woman moved so she was facing Arya, but never let go of her hand in the process. "Elain taught me that here are certain pressure points in your wrists and hands that may help with nausea and relieving the shakiness." The young woman informed and she saw Arya's eyes soften slightly. "Oh… I'm okay with that." She said quietly and Katrina looked thoughtfully at her.
"I'm glad. Now, these will probably work for you as Elves were Human long ago, but I'm not entirely sure. Will you tell me if they do?"
Arya nodded a little bit nervously as she felt Katrina's warm hands gently take hold of her arm. "Thank you. I've always been curious about this. Anyways, to find the first, turn your palm upwards towards the sky, like this." She demonstrated on Arya's arm. "Then starting from the closest crease in your wrist from your palm, you measure the width of three fingers downwards." She laid her own three fingers of her right hand across Arya's wrist, her ring finger rested against the start of Arya's palm and her index finger was facing Arya's forearm. She carefully let go with her left hand to press her thumb in the center of Arya's wrist below her index finger. She then removed her right hand to gently hold the underside of Arya's arm. "This is the spot you're looking for. It may not always work, but it helps most times, especially when you're in a situation where you can't get away to relieve your stomach. Just apply firm pressure to it, but don't hurt yourself. Like this." Katrina demonstrated, then looked back up at the Elf whose lips were turned upward in a small smile.
"Interesting…" Arya said honestly, feeling better as the trembling in her hands started melting away and as the lingering nausea began to fade.
"There are a few others to try if you'd like me to show them to you. I'm glad this is helping." Katrina responded and Arya nodded, then unfolded her legs and crossed them so she was now sitting in tailor fashion. Her left hand straightened her shirt out of self-consciousness. "Sure." She said, seeming to have a greater interest in the topic.
"Alright." Katrina said as she carefully removed her hands. "This one is simpler than the first. Right here, in the pocket between the heel of your thumb and index finger, is another. Press down with the same sort of pressure, like this." She demonstrated what she was explaining and Arya's lips turned upwards into a smile.
"Are you ticklish here?" Katrina asked, unable to help her smile.
"I used to be. I can't feel that area anymore. I sustained nerve damage when I broke my thumb to free myself from a wall Eragon and myself were shackled to. It was my responsibility to keep him alive and we were in immediate danger. When we returned, the Elven spellcasters healed my hand, but they couldn't repair the nerves that had been disconnected for too long. Your trick still works, however, and I'm grateful for it."
A swell of happiness flooded through Katrina, understanding that Arya was benefitting from her suggestions. It was also nice that the Elf was opening up a little bit. "I'm happy I am offering productive aid. Pregnancy isn't the easiest thing to go through, so every little bit helps. It'll get easier, I promise. The first few months are the hardest, but as the baby grows, you'll get used to his or her presence and it won't feel as strange. In the end, it's all worth it, though. There's nothing like the moment you hold your little one for the first time." She looked up to the conflicted and perhaps even troubled look on Arya's features.
"Hey…" Katrina said, her voice instantly becoming softer, then carefully reached up and touched the Elf's cool cheek, capturing Arya's attention. Her eyes were mistily emotional and hinting at her insecurities, something Katrina had never seen before. It was easy to see Arya was also fighting the urge to run far away, so it would probably be best to get the point across rather quickly. Katrina let her thumb brush over the Elf's cheekbone, then slid her hand so it rested on her shoulder instead. "I know it's terrifying. I can sit here and tell you that it'll be fine, but that doesn't make it any less scary. It has to be proven, so think about it like this: together, you and Eragon created life. A living, breathing being who will make you smile and laugh and cry both during your pregnancy and once he or she is born. You'll get to see them grow into an adult and accomplish things on their own. You'll teach them like a student, but you'll also love them so much it makes your heart hurt. You get to watch your creation become their own person. Try to think about what he or she will look like once they're born. I have no doubt in my mind that the child will be absolutely beautiful. Eragon is handsome, and you are entirely stunning. I can't see it any other way." Katrina smiled with a full heart as she watched Arya slowly relax. It took a moment for her words and her compliment to sink in, but when it did, the Elf's features softened and she eventually smiled again
"Maybe it's not so bad." She whispered, not trusting herself to speak any louder. She understood Katrina's advice and it made sense. Her mind had been in a dark place for so long that this woman's perspective felt like aloe to a burn. It was light and happy and optimistic, all of which settled some of her anxieties, even if only momentary.
"Exactly. Whenever you start to feel insecure or anxious, just think about the color of your baby's eyes or hair. Think about what they might look like at different ages and try not to question your ability to be a parent, because I know you will do well. You are more than eighty years older than me and I'm doing okay, I think. Take the time to help yourself relax and to bond with your baby. He or she won't be a stranger when it comes time to meet them." Katrina let her hand rejoin the other which held Arya's hand. "Now, I have one more pressure point to show you, and then I'll leave you be. You have more to think about."
Arya could only nod as she felt speechless. The next time she reached out to touch her son's mind, she would make it a point to try to communicate with him, despite his age. It was more important than she realized, and maybe Katrina was right. Maybe getting to know him would make it easier on her. "I… I hope he has Eragon's nose. I like Eragon's nose." She smiled shyly and Katrina grinned. She's gotten the Elf to speak a little more than she already has. That has to be a good sign, right?
"A boy?" She asked, pressing her thumb on the same spot, only it was on the back of Arya's hand.
"A boy." Arya confirmed confidently. "I can see him in mediation. He's… he's small." Her eyes watered, but she continued to smile regardless. "I haven't checked on him in a few days. The first time I did was three days ago after I cut my hair. I ended up panicking a little bit because I'm… I'm showing." Arya stated a little bit nervously, but she's found that she's more comfortable than she'd like to admit with speaking to Katrina. Fírnen made a good choice, she supposes. It's either that or he's awake and influencing her behavior. She knows he's asleep, therefore her actions are her own.
"You're showing? How far along are you?" The copper-haired woman asked tenderly, understanding that Arya was testing the waters for herself as she actively was trying to improve her outlook. For that, Katrina was proud of her.
"I'm eight weeks along, and… only a little bit." Arya nodded and sat up straight. Upon the final realization that Katrina is now family, Arya felt horribly obligated to tell her more about what else is going on. With a nervous exhale, she pressed her left hand to her abdomen.
Katrina smiled greatly and gasped almost giddily to herself. "Oh… look at that." Her grin suddenly faded slightly. "I don't know anything about Elvish pregnancies, but for Humans, eight weeks is a little early to be showing for a first baby… wait, how long are Elves pregnant for?"
"Nine-" Arya stopped suddenly as she quickly realized that she didn't know how long she, an Elf, would be pregnant. Her features suddenly paled and she looked worried. "I… I have no idea." It would have been fine if she had just read the book Rhunön gave to her.
Katrina just gave a kindly sympathetic look and continued to silently show Arya the different pressure point that would offer some relief. This one consisted of two fingers being pressed to the top of Arya's wrist, spaced about an inch apart where one was on the opposite side of the first pressure point she demonstrated, and the other was close to where Arya's wrist met her hand. "That's okay. When you get back maybe speak to a healer or go to the library. Eight weeks is still early, and if you can see the baby through meditation, just make sure he looks healthy and that everything is still connected and working. Don't worry too much at the moment."
Arya watched what Katrina was doing with careful memorization. "I have a book a friend of mine gave to me before I left. I haven't read any of it, though." She felt guilty about that and it's her own fault.
"Even better. If you're uncomfortable reading it, maybe Fírnen could read it to you. For the amount of time I've known him, that seems like something he would do. He's very sweet." She fawned.
"That he is, and you're right, he probably would do something like that." Arya couldn't help her smile when speaking affectionately about her dragon.
Katrina smiled, but remained silent for a moment as she went through every single pressure point she's demonstrated, just to make sure Arya remembered them. "I'm glad we got to talk. I was beginning to worry that the chance wouldn't present itself. Anyways, I hope you feel better and I also hope these help with your nausea."
Arya offered a small smile of thanks, seemingly weary. "I appreciate you coming to talk with me. I… I feel a lot better, not just because of the techniques you've shown me. Thank you."
"You're welcome. If you need anything, let me know. I'll be here with Roran and Ismira. We're only a letter away and a two-week trip by dragon." Katrina said, then looked pointedly at the other woman. "It will be okay, I promise. Having a baby is scary, that's undeniable. I'm not trying to meddle in business that isn't my own but promise me that you'll tell Eragon at some point. He'll want to know and that might help when it comes to feeling insecure. He'll be delighted, I'm sure." She smiled and Arya just nodded a little numbly. She hasn't thought about telling him anytime soon. Katrina doesn't understand that duty separates them, but Arya does agree that he needs to know one way or another. "I will." She said quietly, and before she could so much as straighten herself out, Katrina scooted forwards and gently pulled her into an embrace. For a moment, Arya froze, unused to the contact and she wasn't expecting it either. She supposes if she had used any sort of insight based on Katrina's personality, she could have foreseen this.
Arya just exhaled slowly and closed her eyes, then wrapped her arms around the other woman. They didn't move for a long time, but when they did, Arya was almost horrified to find she didn't exactly want to let go right away.
"Good…" Katrina said as she pulled back to look the Elf straight in the eyes. "Now go get some rest. You still have a long trip and I know you're tired. Be with Fírnen, I'm sure he misses you." She smiled and pressed a hand to Arya's cheek before getting up and leaving directly afterwards.
Arya watched her leave feeling confused. She wasn't used to brief introductions and brief departures and Katrina had just left rather abruptly. She wasn't used to close contact like what the copper-haired woman had just given her, and she wasn't used to speaking so freely with someone she barely knew, yet she had somehow managed to do so. Her excuse was that they're family now that she's carrying Eragon's child. Families should have good relations… right?
The Elf just leaned forward and rested her head in her hands for a long while before ultimately heading back to make a reattempt at falling asleep.
A/N: Hello again! I found motivation and wrote this, but as I went to do a read-over and work on edits, I, for some reason could not read it. I suffer from severe ADD, which makes reading sometimes impossible when it comes to understanding what's being said. See, I can read it, but that doesn't mean it'll make sense in my head, it's very difficult sometimes, so I beg forgiveness on any errors. I was able to fix a few things, but I'm not entirely sure how well it turned out. Anyways, I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy. Thank you once again for reading! (I will definitely go back and review this chapter when my brain decides it's going to work again because I think it's bad and everyone's out of character hahaha)
Also, all of Katrina's pressure points legitimately work for nausea, so if you find yourself feeling sick, do try them out :)
-Lady Arlo