Sadly none of J.K. Rowling's amazing world actually belongs to me.

The Sorting of Sirius Black

"I have to be in Gryffindor, I have to. If that stupid hat puts me in Slytherin, I'll run away. They can't force me to be like them! They can't!"

"Well you are a bit demanding aren't you."

"What?"

"Most hats don't appreciate being shouted at."

"I didn't...wait, what exactly did you hear?"

"Just that you don't want to be in Slytherin, and I have a distinct impression that you prefer Gryffindor,"

"So are you going to sort me there?"

"Not yet, I think we should talk for a minute."

"You aren't planning on putting me in Slytherin are you? I...I won't let you!"

"My dear boy if I wanted you to go into Slytherin I would have put you there already."

"So why aren't you sorting me?"

"Because I don't think you have thought this through."

"WHAT?! How dare you say that. Accuse me of being so stupid and rash thinking as to rebel against my family without spending every waking moment thinking about it!"

"And now you sound exactly like every Black I have sorted before you."

"Oh."

"You see? This decision isn't just you going to Gryffindor. It's you throwing away your entire family and everything you have known. I have sorted enough Blacks, including your own mother, to know what will await you once you abandon your family's legacy."

"I DON'T WANT THEIR STUPID LEGACY!"

"I didn't say you did, but do you really want to be disowned from them, to be their enemy? Because if you do this that is what you will be."

"YES! I don't care about them disowning me. I don't need their stupid money. I don't want to have anything to do with their pureblood obsession. If they consider me having betrayed them by going to Gryffindor, so be it! I hate them, every last one of them!"

"What about your brother?"

"...What about him?"

"I don't get the feeling that you hate him."

"Well...no"

"Your going to be abandoning him to the whims of your family. Without you to help him, he'll turn out just like them."

"..."

"See? Whenever we make big decisions we try to avoid thinking about the people we care about the most and how they will suffer."

"I have to go to Gryffindor. If I go to Slytherin I'll...I'll end up just like them. Just like my mother."

"You really hate her."

"You've looked through her mind, you've seen her twisted thoughts."

"But your brother isn't like that."

"No, he isn't."

"So you're going to leave him with your mother to twist his thoughts until he is just like her?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you need to realize what this means. Because one day you will look back on this conversation and wonder if you made the right choice. Because this is a decision that will change everything."

"But I have to go into Gryffindor. I have to."

"There are consequences for every action."

"Fine."

"So are you sure?"

"Yes."

GRYFFINDOR!

A/N: So this chapter didn't really end up being funny. I didn't think Sirius conversation with the hat would be have been lighthearted. I am planning to do a follow up to this with Regulus' sorting so watch out for that. And yeah, thank you for everyone who has read this story so far. Please Review.