Elva collapsed onto one of the two beds that existed in the room they bought for the night. Her body was sore and she was tired. The bath she just took felt nice, but it didn't help much to untie the knots in her back and shoulders. She turned over onto her side and rubbed at her belly, hoping the nausea would go away.
They've been on the road for so long and through traveling methods beyond her understanding, she's become very weary. The… twistiness and the constant movement of said methods made her nauseous beyond belief as well.
They've stopped now to rest and recuperate and… to buy more clothing.
In the past two weeks of travel, Elva had managed to grow at the very least two feet taller due to reasons beyond her control or her understanding. She refused to look at her reflection, though, as she was apprehensive to see what sort of monster she'd become because of her curse. She knew she was taller, that her hair was longer, and that she was growing thinner than before because it was hard for her to keep up with how rapid her growth had become. All of her joints had been aching terribly because of it.
She knew her figure had changed as well. What was the boxiness and flimsiness of childhood was soon replaced by the soft curves of womanhood, and now, much to her absolute disdain, she had to wear breast wrappings in addition to the rest of her clothing. She didn't know what her face looked like, though. She didn't want to look because something deep within her told her that she wouldn't like what she saw.
She swallowed thickly and pinched her eyes shut, but her world kept spinning. Her legs were too weak to help her move under the covers and she shivered at the cold. It didn't help that her hair was still wet.
The door to the washroom opened up quietly and Angela drifted through the room with a brush in hand. It was odd to see her hair so much less… fluffy, Elva decided.
"Hello." The Herbalist greeted, looking up briefly. "You said you were going to take a nap once you were clean."
"I can't sleep." The young woman said matter-of-factly.
"Do you want something to help?" Angela offered.
"No thank you. I think I'd like to maybe go downstairs and get something to eat. Maybe some soup or something like that." She pushed herself back into a sitting position then hung her head and slouched when she threw her legs over the side of the bed. It hurt so much to move.
"You know I have remedies for the pain, right?" Angela said with a worried frown.
"Yes, I do, but no thank you if you're offering them to me. I'll be okay."
The Herbalist frowned. "Why do you insist on letting yourself wallow in pain? I don't understand it…"
"Because I can withstand a lot worse." Elva sighed. "I'm fine enough for basic function, that's all I really need at the moment."
"It's interfering with the quality of your life. You shouldn't have to just survive, Elva." Angela spoke while she fished a rather large canning jar from her bag filled to the brim with several nuggets of a dark blue twisted flower. It reminded Elva of the knots the sailors used to tie for the children traveling with the Varden. Next, Angela brought out a granite herb bowl for crushing leaves and petals into a fine powder. She set it on the bedside table then opened the jar and produced two flowers the size of her thumb before she dropped them into the grinding bowl. She closed the jar and set it back from where it came.
She crushed the flowers while Elva watched curiously. "What are you doing?" She asked and Angela smiled.
"This is for you and I'm going to insist you take it. It'll help with the pains, any sort of headache, or nausea you may have. As a side effect, it promotes hunger, which you are desperately in need of." She set the bowl aside and pulled a long wooden pipe from her bag and took several large pinches of the crushed flower and packed it into the bowl. She rounded the bed and strode over to the young woman.
"Here." She handed the pipe to Elva mouthpiece first and her apprentice took it with a confused look.
"Do you know how to light a pipe?"
Elva shook her head. "I don't."
"Let me teach you." She smiled and produced a small wooden stick. "What you want to do is essentially light the herb you have within your bowl and inhale the smoke that comes out. Properly, you light what you have packed and draw in air so it flows through the herbs and up into the stem. This piece." Angela pointed to the long thin section of the pipe leading up to the bit. "Don't inhale yet. The smoke is often a little too warm for comfort and this particular flower tastes good in smoke. Once it's cool, draw in a deep breath and let it out completely. Holding in your smoke does nothing except make you slightly hyperventilate and irritate your lungs. It doesn't give you more because your lungs instantly absorb what they can in those very short moments, hence why we breathe as rapidly and as steadily as we do. This rule goes for all herbs. Do you want me to do it first to show you, or would you like to give it a go on your own?" Angela offered.
Elva blinked and thought for a moment. "On my own."
"Alright, here's this, light it in the candle lamp." She handed Elva the wooden stick before leaning over to retrieve the lamp from Elva's night table.
The young woman nodded and dipped the stick down into the flames then brought it back up. She touched the hot end into the bowl and sucked in air simultaneously through the bit, causing the crushed flower to burn and glow an eerie tint of green. She held the smoke for a moment before inhaling quickly. She let it all out a moment later and closed her eyes as relief slowly started spreading through her body. "May I do it again?" She asked and Angela nodded. "I packed this for you. You can take about four or five goes from what you have there, but I would suggest three for you because you're new to this and its effects. Then again, I've never seen someone not cough the first few times."
Elva smiled and laughed the second time she let out a smoky breath, a goofy grin in her face. "I like this stuff, I really, really like this stuff. It tastes fruity and like raspberries but sweet and strange, but good strange and like fire as well."
Angela frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, I forgot to tell you it had psychoactive qualities."
"Psychoactive?" Elva frowned, but it didn't stick around for very long. Her grin returned and she giggled to herself.
"Hallucinogenic. This enhances the colors you see. At least for me it does. It's different for every person." She added, then carefully took the pipe out of Elva's hand. "I think that's enough for you. It's no good if you get sick."
"I am sick." Elva flopped back on the bed. "Not healer sick. Mind sick." She smiled. "My joints feel better." She sighed and relaxed further into the mattress. This one is one of the more comfortable beds she's slept on in the past two weeks of travel. Now it felt exceptionally comfortable.
"I'm glad. I meant, if you take too much, this might make you sick." Angela turned to the dresser where Solembum watched lazily from his perch on top of the word wooden structure. "This is for you if you want it." She smiled and held the pipe out to him.
Intrigued, Solembum leapt off of the dresser and landed on two feet instead of four. His shaggy hair fell in his face and he pushed it out of the way. He reached for the pipe, but Angela held it up out of his reach. "Go get dressed. You're indecent." She kept her eyes on his and he huffed. " Fine, but know that nature is like this."
"And this is human society. This is not entirely natural. Get dressed and you can have the rest of this. I want to keep an alert eye on Elva."
He rolled his shoulders and strode off into the bathroom. She set the pipe down on the bedside table and sat down next to Elva who was staring wistfully at the ceiling.
"Coin for your thoughts?" Angela asked.
"Who are you attracted to? Romantically? Sexually?"
The Herbalist frowned. "Why do you ask?"
Elva shrugged. "I lied to you, thinking it would sound better. I'm so different, I wanted to at least remain attached to something normal. I fancy women only and that's not normal at all."
Angela huffed. "Elva, fancying women is normal. It's just less heard about because it goes against what is commonly traditional. Not everyone has an open mindset for it, unfortunately."
"Fine, it's normal, but it makes… me an even lesser relatable person. I have very little in common with the rest of the population. I've had no friends my age, no childhood, no innocence in this world." Her jaw worked as she forced her words out. "I'm so alone."
"You have me and Solembum." Angela offered a smile.
Elva sighed. "I know, but I'm talking about something different. I don't feel understood or related to because of how different I am." Her expression fell to something more sad than Angela had ever seen from her apprentice. "I won't live for very much longer if my curse continues to do this to me. I'll never know romantic love or sexual love or anything else like that. I was made into a tool and I feel like I'll be nothing more than that. I'm asking you because you, like me, are different, however, you're more normal. You can fit in. I was asking to perhaps acquire the retrospective knowledge over what it is to be loved like that without the experiences. That's all." She said quietly and closed her eyes to fight the tears that welled up in them.
For a long moment, Angela studied her apprentice as she withered in the silence.
"No." She said and Elva's eyes snapped open.
"What?"
"No." She repeated. "I will not tell you about those things. I believe your curse is aging you in response to some sort of stimuli. You had the encouragement to age due to the desire and duty to protect others, namely, Nasuada. Now that you're out of her influence and under my own, that stimulus has changed. Don't think I haven't been keeping an eye on you these past few years." Angela smiled, then laid back against the bed so she and Elva were shoulder-to-shoulder.
"Wait, you think I'm growing older because of something or someone else?" Elva frowned.
"Essentially. Personally, I think it's because of either Arya or Eila. Both of them are… complicated individuals." She smiled and looked over. "What do you think?"
Elva was paler than usual, then her cheeks flushed with heat. "I think… I agree." She said quietly.
"Your inclination to help Arya?" Angela guessed.
"To Eila i-if I had to choose in this hypothetical." Elva corrected. "Arya is capable of dealing with her problems herself or with Fírnen, more often than not. Eila doesn't know how to do that, and she often ends up making herself worse. Eylörís is learning how to help, but it's a slow process as they're still new to the bond they have." Elva sighed and closed her eyes. "But I like her." She drew out her words in a quietly lamenting tone.
"As in, you're attracted to her?"
Elva nodded shyly, but her glum frown remained. "Yes."
Angela frowned. "You seem upset by that. Why?"
Her apprentice swallowed thickly. "She hates me. I ratted her out and brought Nasuada to her. I put her in a position she didn't want to be in and that's my fault. I don't care about how I was obligated by duty. It was still my voice, my actions, and my presence that put her in a position of complete distress. I see now why I was sick back at the castle. It was Eila's distress and I was ignoring it." She closed her eyes. "This isn't good."
"If you talk to her and help her understand that you meant no ill will, then perhaps she'll be more friendly towards you." Angela suggested.
"Right, like she'll forgive me for ruining the peace she had." Elva laughed sarcastically.
"You never know until you try it. She might have already forgiven you with all that's happened. We'll see soon enough." Angela shrugged, but she heard Elva sigh in what sounded like hopelessness.
"How long until they're here?"
"It should only be a day or two." Angela looked over. "I really do think you should talk to her." She gave a slight smile. "For your happiness, because that matters too."
Elva looked over and smiled softly. "Thank you…"
"Of course. Now come on. Let's get some food in you." Angela patted Elva's arm, then sat upright.
The young woman remained there for a moment, thought about getting up, then decided the sudden desire for food was stronger than her desire to not move.
"Okay…" she sighed softly and rolled onto her side, curled over, then sat up.
Angela turned. "Solembum, we're going to go get food, do you want anything?"
"A plate of fish or other meat would be splendid." He flashed a wide smirk and Angela nodded.
"Noted. Elva, are you ready?"
"Mhm." She mumbled as she rubbed her eyes.
"Alright, then let's go."
A/N: You know what? Never mind. I'm just going to post my chapters and then take a while to write some more, then post those that I have. I like that way better I think.
So also, I had no idea this is what was going to come out of my brain when I decided to write this chapter, but it's fun. No, I don't condone smoking nor do I smoke in any form or fashion unless I'm on fire for some reason. I am a blacksmith, after all.
Okay, anyway I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I know it's short, but things are about to get interesting :)
-Lady Arlo