In parallel to my learning to speak and read, by the time I was two, I had finally reached the point in my development where stairs no longer presented an unsurmountable obstacle for me, provided I held to the ramp, a fact which had afforded me even more freedoms than before.
Notably, I had been able, for the first time, to visit the bathroom on my own, even stealing a stool from the kitchen to stand on and see my reflection on the mirror for the first time and judge what I was working with.
I was very pleasantly surprised to discover I was slowly growing into a very cute child, becoming more convinced than ever that all the orphanage's staff were sociopaths for being able to ignore the bundle of adorableness I clearly was on a daily basis. No wonder Naruto had tried pranking them any time he could, they completely deserved it, those stoic professional bastards.
Interestingly, I lacked the whisker marks which had made Naruto so iconic, courtesy of Kurama's involvement in my healing. I personally liked it, it made it easier for me to mentally separate myself from the knucklehead of the series, while also making me resemble much closer how Minato had been shown to look like as a child, which I was glad for as it would probably make it easier for me to manipulate people into liking me if they could see the resemblance sooner.
Man, I wasn't even a ninja and I was already preparing myself for ruthless manipulations and weaponizing my appearance for my own gain.
Still, now that I was able to go up and down the floors as I wished, I immediately declared myself potty-trained, refusing to wear from that day onward the diapers that had governed my clothing style for all my life.
I was provided a second-hand set of clothing instead, like all the children did, but it didn't matter to me, I would have almost worn a dress if it meant I got rid of the ghastly diapers and escaped having to be changed so often.
For the first time of my life, I was somewhat content with my place in the world, alternating my time between reading some fictional story Iruka had brought and observing the staff of the orphanage and other Genin teams as they interacted with the children on a daily basis.
I had considered trying to do some exercise and playing with my fellow children, but quickly dismissed the idea, not willing to arouse unnecessary suspicion or harm myself inadvertently.
Some would have called it a waste of my time, but I heavily disagreed, knowing I would be better served until I had some privacy before trying to prepare myself for the world.
In the meantime, I had picked up some very useful information along the way, most important of which, being the fact I had witnessed dozen of times what the hand-signs for the academy techniques were, the Transformation technique, first, from our vocabulary lessons, and the Substitution technique, as well as the Cloning technique from a Genin a little too eager with his playing tag with the children.
It was during one such day of leisure, whilst I was sat quietly minding my own business like I had become accustomed to, alone in my deserted room, and far from the complete chaos of the playing rooms, when the orphanage received a surprise visit, one shocking even for me, as the God of Shinobi himself had finally deigned gracing me with his presence.
I had actually anticipated somewhat the Third's visit for some time now, having no doubt in my mind he had some agent or another looking into my progress from time to time to keep him updated on my well being as was expected, considering my status as a top military asset for the village.
I had known for a fact that he often visited the academy yearly to inspire children into drinking the Kool-Aid about the Will of Fire and encourage them to become Shinobis of Konoha. I had therefore already had a plan in place on how to maximize my advantages when the eye patch wearing caretaker, whose name I still refused to learn out of pure spite, had finally said her first words to me in this life.
"You have a visitor." She had announced mechanically before immediately turning around and leaving the room without a second glance, leaving me alone with an easily recognizable old man sporting a messy mop of grey hair under his red hat and a long gray goatee as he silently sat down in front of me, allowing me to peer at his wrinkled mug and the two large moles on his cheeks.
"Good morning." The man greeted me jovially after a moment, and refusing to be impolite, I gave a quick "Hello" in response.
"Do you know who I am?" He asked curiously and I smiled at the sight of the killing machine feared by so many he was trying to politely converse with a baby.
"The Third Hokage." I told him and I was amused to see him be glad of the fact. It made sense as it probably wouldn't be a stretch to assume that every single person he had met over the past fifty years had known exactly who he was prior to ever setting eyes on him, and to be fair to him, it was probably completely deserved. You do not last for so long in his position without deserving every bit of deference the post demanded.
"Do you know what that means?" He asked and I held back an internal groan. He was clearly here to indoctrinate me, which was a completely dickish thing to do to a two years old, and while I wanted to point that out, I had already planned to channel my inner Naruto and make him see me in a more favorable light.
"Of course I know what that means, who do you take me for, old man?" I shouted in mock outrage and I felt great relief in his smile, hoping I was reminding him of his boisterous students. "Matter of fact, you better take good care of that hat, I am coming for it. Just you wait and in no time, I will be the Sixth Hokage of this village." I threatened.
Like I had hoped the statement had piqued his curiosity. "Not the Fifth?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah, I am still much too young to be ready in time for that one." I admitted sadly.
"What makes you think I can't hold onto my seat until you are qualified enough to replace me?" He questioned again and this time I took pride in my answer.
"You look like you're old as dirt, so I figure it's only a question of time before you croak." I said with a shrug while jubilating inside; it was so much fun, acting like an idiot. I could see why Guy and Jiraya had liked it so much.
The room froze for a moment and he blinked in shock at my callous words, staring for a long moment at my unrepentant self before suddenly exploding into fits of laughter while I basked silently in his amusement, knowing no-one else would ever risk his wrath with such disparaging words in his daily life. Well, except maybe for Tsunade, perhaps, but she was just as reckless as Naruto was, so it checked out.
"The wisdom of children is truly a marvel." He wheezed after a moment, before regaining his countenance and imparting some wisdom onto me. "You are not wrong, however. Time is the enemy who defeats all, even the Hokage."
"That's okay, old man." I reassured him softly. "It's about how you live, not how long you breathe." I nodded sagely before continuing. "It's better to live twenty good years, doing what you believe in, than spend a thousand doing nothing." I hinted, hopefully making him think on Minato. "In the end, you will have lived a good life, no matter what happens in the future."
Apparently my switch in personality was a surprise to him and I took personal enjoyment at his thoughtful expression. "Thank you, Naruto. That is very wise of you." He praised and I simply shrugged.
I was still just a child, after all...
The silence settled into the room once again, and I was happy to let it, having no problem remaining silent as I watched the old man passively, knowing how disturbing it was to see a child hold still for so long and fully aware that he had been the one to come visit me, which meant he was clearly here for a reason and I only had to wait until he felt like sharing.
Like I had expected, it only took a few more silent moments before he pushed the conversation along.
"I have been hearing about how quickly you learn for months, now, but I must admit to be pleasantly surprised at seeing you come so far along in such a short amount of time." The man said, making me raise an eyebrow at his admission of knowing about my status, but keeping my silence as there was no question for me to answer to or any reason for me to open my mouth, really.
"Is your memory fully photographic?" he asked once it was clear I was waiting for him to keep talking.
I winced before nodding. There was no benefit to be had by sharing unneeded information with others, but being caught in a lie by the leader of the village was not the play either, especially not for something he was already aware of and was asking to make conversation, rather than actually needing my input to confirm anything.
"That is quite remarkable for someone your age." He smiled encouragingly. "It usually takes months for most to develop that skill, and even then, only so much can be remembered at any given time." He informed me helpfully and I nodded again, hiding my shock at learning that having a perfect memory was considered a skill that could be developed in only a few months in this environment.
No wonder Iruka had never said anything about my being a prodigy if others accomplished the feat as easily as the Hokage hinted it was.
Seeing me still not say anything, the man moved the conversation forward once again on his own.
"Had I known your cognitive ability would be this advanced from birth, I would have arranged more agreeable living conditions." He admitted, an apologetic expression on his face, having clearly noticed the frosty interaction between the matron and I.
No longer interested in his turning around the pot, however, I decided to cut right to chase and changed the subject.
"May we speak alone, Lord Third?" I requested, internally awed at how quickly his expression turned into a stony version of himself, not letting any emotion show, his eyes guarded and calculative, a clear indicator that I was now talking to the greatest Kage of his era.
He did a quick sign from his hand before motioning me to speak.
"I know everything." I said calmly, doing my best to keep my voice and breathing as regular as I could.
Part of me was very disappointed that I had to play this card so early, but it was inevitable. I was simply too different from the children my age to be left alone, and I especially needed a reason to be kept away from the battlefield for as long as possible, regardless of my future status as a prodigy.
"Elaborate." The old man ordered, not assuming anything or giving me any indication that there was anything to know. I had to admire his dedication to operation secrecy, not betraying any information for someone fishing.
"I know about my tenant." I said, patting my stomach. "And my parents. Both of them." I added with a grim smile, knowing he would have preferred my remaining ignorant of such matters.
A tired sigh escaped his lips and he regarded me with an expectant look. "How?"
"Minato." I lied easily. "He left part of himself into the seal and made it so the Nine Tails' chakra cannot harm me."
"Are you sure?" The old man questioned immediately. "Could it be that the Nine Tails is tricking you into..."
"No." I interrupted him, not bothering listening to his justified paranoia. "I met them both. The Nine Tails was in his cage, angry and grumbling about being sealed into another stupid brat again and Dad..." I had some unexpected difficulty getting the word out, as no matter what happened, I did not consider the Fourth Hokage and his wife to be my parents. Not when I had ones of my own."... explained things to me."
"Even from the grave, you never cease to amaze me, Minato..." the old man muttered to himself, a far-away look on his face as he took a moment to digest what I had told him. It seemed he was eager to believe the story I was feeding him, which was a good sign for my plans.
Part of me felt somewhat sorry for prying on his innate trust in his successor's son and lying to him, but if I really wanted to be allowed to train more seriously from a young age without being catapulted into the field before I was completely ready, I had no other choice than be somewhat dishonest with the leader of the village.
"Did he say anything else?" He asked, eagerly, probably hoping for words of wisdom from the deceased Fourth Hokage.
"He asked me to surpass him." I lied with what I hoped to be a melancholic smile.
"Not an easy feat." Sarutobi chuckled, though the bitterness in his tone made it clear he was not amused. "Why?"
"He refused to tell me, but according to him, there are serious threats to my life and I am not safe, even in the village." His expression darkened, but I quickly continued before he had the chance to interrupt me. "He said I needed to take my studies seriously and train myself as efficiently as I could manage to ensure my survival and reach my full potential. Dad told me to try and be Konoha's most ardent defender, but to make sure it did not consume me. He said to take my time and grow healthy, to enjoy my childhood and build bonds with those my age so I never suffer from loneliness."
I made sure to affect a pensive smile, imagining what I hoped my own father would have wished upon me in such a situation.
"He told me to make sure that when it was finally time for me to graduate from the academy, I would be the best Genin this village had ever seen." I added before remaining silent for a moment, as if reminiscing about my encounter with the man, but mostly so my sentence could set in for the elder and allow him the time to internalize that I should not be rushed out of the academy into deadly missions or worse, allowed to become one of Danzo's weapons.
Only an idiot would voluntarily want to be sent on dangerous missions before the fate of this world required them to. It was much better for me to have ten additional years practicing my craft in the relative safety of the village, rather than become a child soldier and risk being killed in a freak accident protecting some shady merchant or another to enrich a nation I did not care about.
"You have given me much to think about, Naruto." The Hokage sighed and for once, I could see the wrinkles weighting him down.
Apparently learning the child of his successor was in danger even in the heart of his own village was not good for his morale, though I doubted it was news for him, seeing as if he had it his way, my identity would have remained hidden even to me.
The Hokage remained seated there, gracing me with his company for a few more minutes, making small talk with me and ensuring I was fine before finally looking at his watch and making a movement as if he was about to leave.
"Keep what we have spoken about today to yourself." He ordered me. "And know that you can always come to me about any new development, simply say to your caretakers that you wish to speak to me and they will pass on the message."
I nodded my understanding before making a request of my own. "Could I please be allowed to leave the orphanage and visit the village? Even if it's only to the library."
He looked sad for a moment, but his voice was firm when he rejected the request. "I am sorry, Naruto, but you are too young and your body too fragile to take the risk, even in your unique situation."
I nodded sadly having expected the answer, but still disappointed by it.
"Orphans are provided their own living arrangements upon their fourth birthday. You can go the library to your heart's content, then." The man continued speaking, clearly amused by my downtrodden expression. "In the meantime, however, I am sure some reading material can be arranged for you. What exactly are you looking for?"
Immediately, I jumped on the opportunity, both eager to actually have the books I had wanted to request from Iruka, but also happy to act a little child-like and endear myself to the old man.
"All the academy materials, as well as any useful material you can think of." I declared with a smile
He raised an interrogative eyebrow while looking back at me. "Useful materials?"
"Non-fiction." I answered simply. "Encyclopedias, theoretical guides, practical tutorials, textbooks on Mathematics, Physics, History, Geography, Anatomy, anything that can be learned. I have a perfect memory; it would be a waste to not make use of it..."
Hiruzen smiled at my acting like I had put a lot of thoughts into the request, before noddig, even as he left me to my devices alone in the room.
I let out a long sigh of relief when I was certain he had left, acting and pretending to be normal having taken a toll on my nerves and I was glad to be able to calm down without stress.
The peace, however had not lasted very long as only a few minutes later, I had been pleasantly surprised to discover that Hiruzen Sarutobi was a man of his word when a white and black panda-like mask wearing individual had entered my room at the orphanage and placed three large piles of books at my feet, letting me know it was a gift from the Hokage before disappearing in a puff of smoke and making me question whether it had been a shadow clone or if the man had used a body flicker.
It brought me shame to know I was exploiting the old man's respect for his dead successor to get what I wanted out of him. There was no way he would go against what he perceived to be Minato's dying wishes, especially not when it came to how to raise his son. At least that's what I hoped for, his behavior with the real Naruto hopefully being explained by the fact he probably thought Minato would prefer his son alive and lonely than happy and dead.
It saddened me that I was probably too unchildlike to establish the same rapport he had had with the original Naruto, but hopefully I could establish a positive relationship with him over time. He was part of the rotten Shinobi system I despised and his bad habit of keeping his eyes closed to many of the shadier events happening under his watch was a damning incrimination of his character, but at the same time, he had given second chances to many people whom had abused his generosity.
To me, he was a very complex person, but one did not become a Kage and last in the position for half a century if they were not great at what they did and for that reason alone, I would hopefully always be in the old man's good graces, perhaps even aiming to save his life if it ever become truly in danger. My life would be much safer with the buffer of Sarutobi acting as a deterrent for Konoha's enemies to not get any ideas and attack the village where I resided.