Hey everyone,
I know I keep disappearing and taking breaks, I really am sorry for that.
I was busy with school, depression, and I uploaded a story that I posted on my instagram to and it sort of blew up, which is super exciting.
I can't make any promises about my writing schedule, but I definitely do want to finish this at the very least.
So I will try to update, and keep this going for you guys.
Also, thank you so much for following, favoriting, reviewing and reading.
I'm not going to give shout outs this chapter just because it takes so long and I really want to post this ASAP, but I do appreciate every single one of you.
By doing that you help get my fanfiction out to more people, and that is just so amazing. Right now we're at around 2,700 views which is so cool. I adore you all.
Alright well, let's get on to the chapter!
MARINETTE POV:
Marinette knew that she had to tell Chat that she had a boyfriend.
He had only made a couple flirty remarks lately, but it still filled Marinette with a chasm of guilt.
She dreaded it, of course she did.
This was her best friend, her partner. She had been keeping this from him for too long.
She hated keeping things from him. It was worse than it was with Alya.
Their anonymity kept it so that they had to keep some secrets from each other but other than that, they were always honest.
If she had an issue, she could trust Chat Noir, and he could trust her. It had been killing her to stay silent.
She did have her reasons, though.
She knew that Chat Noir had a crush on her, even had told her that he loved her. He had created grand gestures, and given her flowers, and saved her life countless times.
And still, she had rejected him time and time again.
Because he didn't actually love her. He loved Ladybug.
And Marinette and Ladybug were strangers to another.
Ladybug was this perfect hero, a graceful, brave girl who went around saving Paris. She was the ideal hero. She was what kids looked up to, and she held her responsibilities with pride.
And Marinette was clumsy, weak and shy.
Besides, the mask she wore covered up her insecurities. It covered the bags under her eyes, and made her nose look better than it was.
If Chat Noir was ever to find out her identity, he would just be disappointed. And that would be a hit she couldn't bear to take.
But she knew that she risked losing him today.
She paced around her usual solitary spot, the place she went when she needed the world to melt away.
It was one of the highest roofs in Paris. She liked the height.
She knew that the Eiffel Tower was higher, but that place was always crowded.
Here, she could be alone.
She could finally think.
Marinette knew that Chat would be arriving soon.
Even though it was her spot to be by herself, he knew where it was. When she was injured in a fight with an akumatized victim, he would often carry her here to tend to her wounds.
The gentleness he used when healing her, the care, it melted her heart.
It was at times like those, those intimate, clear moments where she could imagine herself in a life with Chat Noir.
Growing old with him.
But that would mean revealing their identities. So it was out of the question, no matter how sad that made Marinette.
She was happy with Luka. He was sweet to her, and considerate.
He knew that she needed to spend a lot of time with her friends, and was flexible with her schedule.
He made her laugh.
He was also a good kisser.
And that just added to the guilt, now that she was lusting after both Adrien and Chat Noir. Where would it end?
She kept pacing.
She wrapped her arms around her stomach to give herself a sense of comfort.
She shook her head.
The swirling storm of guilt inside her kept growing.
Maybe she didn't have to tell Chat today.
Maybe she could wait a little longer.
Even though it drove a wedge between them that he wasn't even aware of.
Even though it was important. Even though he deserved to know.
Okay, she would do it today. Better to get it over with.
She could do this.
She took a deep breath, still pacing.
How long had she been walking in a circle?
She truly couldn't remember when she had started, when she had drifted into her thoughts and forgotten her surroundings.
What time was it?
"Hey, bug."
Chat Noir swung from the building next to this one, let go of his rope and smoothly landed next to her on the roof.
"Hey."
"Are you okay?"
It made her laugh.
He truly did know her better than anyone else in the world.
He could tell just from a freaking glance, just from a single word uttered that she was upset.
God, he was the best.
All the more reason to get this over with.
"I think so."
He frowned disbelievingly and tilted his head.
"I will be soon."
This, he accepted. "Good," he said, taking her hand and pulling her down to sit with him at the edge of the roof. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He let go of her hand to lace his fingers together.
"Yes," she said, too quickly. She took a deep breath. "Yeah. I do."
He nodded, ever the patient friend, and gestured for her to elaborate.
"I have to tell you something."
A worried crease in his brow.
"I have a boyfriend."
The crease deepened, and he looked away from her.
The guilt. It was taking over. He couldn't even look at her.
He took a deep breath and stared at the horizon. "Huh."
"Huh? Is that it?"
"I don't know. You know how I feel about you."
"Yeah," she said quietly.
"Is he nice to you?" It was so quiet she could barely hear him. She could hear the pain in his voice.
But if he wasn't going to bring it up, she wasn't going to.
"Yeah, he is."
He nodded. "How… how long have you been dating?"
She took a deep breath, and exhaled shakily.
"Two weeks."
He turned to her. "What?"
"We've been dating for two weeks."
He stayed silent.
Her heart started beating faster and faster. This was killing her.
She knew that she was hurting him, and he wasn't speaking. She needed him to say something, anything.
If he didn't, she was pretty sure she would explode.
"Say something," she begged, willing him to look at her.
Finally, he turned to her.
His eyes were wild and pained. His cheeks were flushed.
"Two weeks?!" He said it like a scream.
Her eyes welled up with tears. "Yes," she whispered.
"Fourteen fucking days." The anger in his voice, the pain, it killed her.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
"Fourteen days," she repeated.
"You've been keeping this from me for two weeks. You've been lying to me."
"I knew it would upset you-"
"I am upset," he yelled. "I want you to be happy, Ladybug. If I wouldn't make you happy, I'm okay that you're dating someone else. I'll fucking accept it."
Shock flooded her veins. "Really?"
"Yes. I can accept that. I can be okay with that. I really can."
His voice still sounded angry, but she allowed herself to feel a little bit of relief.
"Oh my god, thank-"
"But," he interrupted her. "Lying to me?" His eyes begged her to take it back.
They begged her to tell him that he was wrong about it, that she had misspoke. Anything.
But she couldn't. She just couldn't.
She choked on her own pain.
"Lying to me. For fourteen days."
"I wanted to tell you. I swear."
"But you didn't."
"I wanted to !"
"You didn't." This time his voice was resigned. The most angry she had ever heard it.
"Yeah," she admitted, sniffling.
They sat in silence for a couple minutes.
"Is it the guy?" He finally asked. "The guy you've loved for so long? Is it at least him?"
"No," she whispered. "I'm trying to move on from him."
"And I wasn't good enough."
"No. No. It's not like that."
"I've never been good enough for you." His voice was rising.
"No! Chat, you're wrong."
"Nothing's ever good enough for perfect, perfect Ladybug." He was yelling now.
"I'm not perfect," she sobbed.
He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
"I'm not," she choked out. "Come on, Chat, I-"
"I was never even on your radar, was I?"
"That's not true!"
"Such a fucking fool," he muttered to himself, shaking his head with disgust.
"No!"
"I can't deal with this right now," he spit out.
"No. Chat Noir," she pleaded.
But he was already preparing to jump.
"No! Wait come on, let's talk,"
He lept away from her, sprinted when he hit the ground.
"COME BACK," she screamed.
He didn't look back.
"CHAT NOIR! Come back…"
She collapsed onto the cold cement and let out a broken sob.
And another.
Until she lost her voice, but her pain was still there, and it sounded like she was choking and coughing.
Tears ran down her cheeks until she was too dehydrated to cry anymore, and could only heave.
She saw in the corner of her eye, a flash from below her.
Probably a camera.
So that the whole world could see her heart breaking.
Great.
God, what was she going to do now?
She needed him.
She really, really needed him.
He was her best friend, and she had messed it all up.
It was getting dark, and she knew she needed to go home.
But then what?
She would fake a smile to her parents, take a shift in the bakery and make meaningless small talk?
She couldn't.
She couldn't do anything right now.
Her world was broken without him in it.
She took a deep breath, and then another.
She sighed.
She needed to go home.
She swung through the streets of Paris, ignoring the people smiling and waving at her.
She could only stare straight ahead, while the draft she created with her speed made her teary eyes cold.
She landed on her roof with a soft thud, and opened her skylight, dropping into her room.
She detransformed.
Tikki flew around her, a flurry of concern. "Are you okay? That was pretty bad."
Marinette ignored the worried kwami and headed straight to her makeup bench to drop some concealer around her eyes.
If her parents knew she had been crying, it would only upset them.
"Marinette, it's going to be okay," the kwami persisted.
"Not right now, Tikki," Marinette whispered.
Tikki nodded sympathetically and watched helplessly as Marinette climbed into her bed, wrapped her blankets around herself tightly and squeezed her eyes shut.
The kwami picked up Marinette's favorite plushy, a cute little black cat with green eyes.
She knew it was a risk to bring it over to Marinette, but doing nothing was killing her.
She picked it up and flew over to Marinette, dropping it in her arms.
Marinette stared at it in silence for a couple seconds, and Tikki cringed, waiting for the upset outburst.
It didn't come.
Instead, Marinette took the plushy and held it to her chest, squeezing it.
"Thank you, Tikki," the sad girl said.
And as her kwami nodded, Marinette fell into a deep sleep.
Hey, y'all,
So that was chapter 6. I know there weren't many words but it did fill up more pages than I expected.
I really am sorry that I keep disappearing, writing schedules are so tough for me.
On the bright side, I got a good grade on my math quiz and my best friend has a boyfriend now!
I think he seems really good for her. I hope they stay together for at least a little while.
Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it.
This isn't why I'm doing this, but it's super cool to get views. Right now, in total between all of my fanfictions I'm at around 20,000 views.
Which is freaking crazy, obviously.
I never thought that this many people would want to read things that I write. It's so validating that you all are reading this.
Thank you so much,
-wdw