Chapter 50 - Q.E.D.

Somewhere in the middle of the night, Louisa woke up. Unlike other nights, Martin hadn't rolled on his back, apparently his favourite sleeping position. But now he lay still spooned behind her, with his arm around her waist. His breath was slow and regular, meaning that he was sound asleep. Louisa decided to postpone a little her nocturnal visit to the bathroom, because she didn't want to disturb him so soon.

She reviewed the events of the night before. She suspected that Martin would wake up on the morning, feeling embarrassed about what happened. That would probably be the case with any man, but for her husband it would be sure. In his aweful youth, the one thing he had learned to perfection, was to stay in control of himself under all circumstances.

But now, his emotions had won. She was glad it happened and she had already told him that, but would he really believe her? She bit her lower lip and tried to think of something that would prevent him from feeling this kind of embarrasment.

On the other hand, Martin wasn't a common man so he may react differently from any other human being. Best would be not to worry about it yet, but to be prepared, should he need her to convince him that she really was happy that he had realized that his spoiled youth wasn't his fault, but the fault of his unresponsible, egocentric parents. That he wasn't bad, like he must have thought for years, but that he was the victime of parents that hadn't really wanted him. They must have decided to try for a baby just because the Ellingham family needed a heir. She thought that Martin should be glad that Margaret had given birth to a boy, not to a girl. A girl wouldn't have assured that the family name was continued. At least that was something good. Louisa couldn't even imagine what would have happened, should Martin have been a girl...

Anyway, the things he had revealed the evening before, were so horrible! Again, tears filled her eyes. All she could think of, was the little boy, two or three years old, spending complete afternoons in a dark cupboard... that was pure abuse! She imagined little Martin, not yet having full control of his bladder and not being able to hold is pee.. Wetting himself and being forced to sit there in his cold, wet trousers until someone got him out of there. And then when his father came home, he would get a second punishment from his father, who beat him with his belt. Louisa shivered at the thought.

After everything that had happened to him, it was some kind of a miracle that Martin, although rude and lacking social skills, was able to live a relatively normal live as an adult. It seemed that the protective shield that he had built around him over the years, had been effective.

Louisa now also started to understand why he had tried to withdraw from her. Something she hadn't understood at all, at the time, and which made her decide that she wanted to go to Spain with James. But now it had become clear to her, that he had just been terribly afraid that he would loose control of his emotions and that he couldn't imagine the consequences. He had never learned how to love and to be loved. Apart from aunt Joan who loved him as if he was her son, nobody ever had really loved him the way one should love a child. And Joan didn't get the chance to love him when he most needed it, because, his parents didn't allow him to stay with her and Phil anymore.

This man, her husband deserved so much to be loved! Which she did with all her heart. She felt ashamed that she hadn't understood the signs and that, instead of just staying with him anf give him the love he deeded so musch and deserved as no other, she had been on the verge of leavin him. From now on, she would be even more grateful that a medical event had prevented her from going to Spain. Gawd, she loved him so much.

She slowly turned on her back, trying her best not to wake him. He needed his sleep to recover from the emotions he had experienced. In the dark, she tried to look at his face. A moon beam peeping through the small gap between the curtains, gave the tiny bit of light she needed. He looked relaxed, more relaxed than when he was lying on his back. It suddenly dawned to her, that the odd position on his back, with his hands above the duvet, of which he claimed that it was his preferred sleeping position, was in fact the position they were forced to use at boarding school. So many pennies dropped now!

Her thoughts lead again to the evening before. She found it really touching that he thought that his love for James Henry could possibly wane. Again a proof that he had never known how to be loved. But he could learn. He had already made so much progress, with her and with their son. But he didn't realize that yet. It would come, she was confident about that.

Now, she really had to go to the bathroom. Whether he was still sleeping or not, Louisa couldn't really tell, but when she carefully took his hand to lift his arm fom her body, he suddenly squeezed hers. But he didn't say anything, so she slowly moved to the edge of the bed to get out.

A couple of minutes later, she slid back between the sheets. She snuggled close to his warm body in the same position in front of him as before and she pulled his arm around her waist again. He was awake after all and pulled to him her as close as he could. She felt that he was burying his face in her newly washed hair and enjoyed the fresh scent of it.

"Sorry that I woke you up, Martin. I tried not to... You were so tired, you need your rest!", she whispered.

"So do you...", he said softly, "were you worrying, was something keeping you from sleeping?"

"Not really", Louisa answered and she took his hand and kissed it. "Had to go to the loo, but I didn't want to disturb you. And then, my thoughts went back to yesterday evening. I wish I had known, Martin, right from the beginning, that fateful day, when I came to the surgery, the day you mother...I realize... it wouldn't have changed a thing, would it, the harm was done... I don't know what, but I would have done something! ... To help you.."

"I know".

"How are you now?"

He shrugged.

"I shouldn't have bothered you. I should have been able to stay in control. I am sorry that you're sad and emotional now, that's my fault..."

Louisa turned around in his arms and looked him in the eyes.

"No Martin, that's not your fault, you're not to blame for anything, do you hear me? There are only two people in your life that should be ashamed of themselves, but not you! As I said, it needed to happen, Martin, it brings us closer to each other, can't you see that? Your horrible youth will always be part of you, but we can face it together. Because we love each other. And that's the only thing that really matters our love for each other. I love you so much, darling man! And you love me, I know that."

"Oh yes, Louisa, I love you so very much. There are not enough words to express how much I love you, I am not good at that, you know that".

Suddenly Louisa knew how she could make them feel better. She moved even closer to him, before she said huskily,

"Fancy to proof how much you love me, husband? I know you're very good at that!"

To underline her invitation, she kissed him on that special soft spot behind the ear, that always had the desired effect.

Martin didn't need any further encouragement. He let his magic hands roam over her body Louisa followed his example. Her small hands soon feverishly stroked all imaginable bodyparts of the love of her life. Martin kissed her passionately, with his eyes closed and she eagerly joined him in this breath taking sensation.

It seemed to be minutes later, when they broke apart to take a breath. Martin continued his ministrations and soon noticed that Louisa was more than ready for him and he couldn't wait to become her's. They desperately needed each other. The lovemaking that followed was frantic and very intense. Their bodies moved in perfect harmony, quicker and quicker, until their ecstatic explosion finally brought them back to earth.

Afterwards, they lay in each other's arms, catching their breath. They waited until the wonderful lazy feeling they currently experienced, would help them fall aseleep again. Martin turned on his left side. He pulled Louisa towards him. With her back against his chest, his arm around her waist, he allowed himself to stroke her right breast with his thumb, thus letting her enjoy his caresses a little longer. Louisa softly moaned. "Q.E.D. Martin, yes, you love me! Good night my exceptional man..."

Q.E.D = Quod erat demonstrandum, it means "that which was to be demonstrated". It is usually placed at the end of a mathematical proof to indicate that the proof is complete.

To be continued.. I hope you enjoyed it.