It had killed Hermione to watch Harry go off with McGonagall. She regretted last night's conversation already - she had the second the words had slipped from her mouth, but she knew this was for the best. For the moment, anyway. Not forever. She knew she couldn't avoid Harry forever. That had been his decision, not hers. He was daft if he thought that would work. Avoiding each other after a war they were both very much a part of? Going to the same school, the same classes, sharing the same dorm? She had no idea how long Harry had planned to avoid her, but it wouldn't last. She knew it wouldn't.

It couldn't.

Breakfast was quiet, and she'd given up on finishing the last of it in favor of just pushing the food around on her plate. She looked up at Neville and Lavender, who were staring despondently across the table at her. "Maybe we need to create… some kind of support group. We've all lost a lot. Maybe it would help to have some people to talk to. We're going to have a lot on our plates soon. I just don't want any of us to feel like we're alone."

Lavender looked down at her lap, shifting uncomfortably on the bench. "I am, though, aren't I? We don't know any other werewolves."

Hermione frowned - somehow the term werewolf didn't seem right. She was just Lavender, still. She shouldn't have been so mean to her last year. None of them should have. She couldn't believe how childish it all had been - making Ron jealous so that he'd break up with her. Hermione was so far beyond that. Now, seeing Lavender upset made her sad.

"I'll make sure you're taken care of, Lavender. You're… don't think of yourself as a werewolf, please. You're not one of them."

"One of what? Professor Lupin-"

"Was more than his condition. And I hope that you can be, too. Otherwise you're comparing yourself with the same one that did this to you, and I can't imagine you're okay with that."

"What am I, then?"

"You're Lavender," Neville answered, sitting up a little straighter. "You're our friend who has lycanthropy. That's all. No one else is going to feel left out."

Lavender shook her head. "Why did you really save me, Hermione?"

"I told you," she answered quickly. "What do you mean?"

"You hated me."

"What?"

"You called me a daft dimbo at one point, if I remember correctly."

"Because you were snogging someone I had a crush on!" Hermione huffed. "If you'll remember the other five years we were at school together when I've helped you with your homework."

"You've helped everyone with their homework."

"I… look, Lavender, I don't have the time to worry about why you think I saved you or not, okay? You said you were appreciative, and I'm glad. More of this is exactly the opposite of how I'm looking to spend my time. If you want to fight with me about it, we can do it later."

"Let's all take a break, huh?" Neville interrupted with a nervous laugh, wrapping an arm around Lavender's shoulders and helping her up and out of the Great Hall, sending a pleading apologetic look to Hermione over his shoulder.

"Don't worry about her," Luna said, reaching to rest a hand on Hermione's. "She'll come around. She's just angry."

"I know, but I don't want her to think I hate her. I don't."

"I haven't heard her say one mean thing about you since she's known you."

Hermione slouched uncharacteristically. "Ron said she was jealous of me when they were together. I wonder if that had anything to do with it. As if she… she thought I was trying to be better than her or something. But I wasn't, I promise. I helped her because I thought it was the right thing to do."

"Just give her time. It's not important, is it? At least right now?"

"No. Not at all. I don't care if Lavender likes me. I care if Harry…"

"Still loves you? Of course he does. Though I can tell something's off. What's wrong?"

Hermione debated for a moment about even telling her. It would take Luna long to figure out - she seemed much more adept at reading people than she let on - but she'd only told Ron. She didn't want this to become some rumor that traveled through the whole school by dinner. But would anyone even care? Gossip was pointless right now. "I broke up with him. I don't think I should have, but I did. And I can't just… tell him I didn't mean it because I did mean it. I don't think we need to be together right now because of everything that happened and everything we're feeling."

"You've never had a normal relationship. I think it would be good for you to have one. Start over."

"That's kind of the same page I was on. And it's not that I don't want to be with Harry specifically. I don't want to be with anybody right now. I don't even want to be with myself."

"Well, that's not very kind."

Hermione's head fell into her hands. "I don't think I deserve to be kind to myself right now, Luna. I've done some very stupid things recently."

"Nonsense. Everyone deserves kindness, especially right now. I don't like to think anything we've done is stupid. It seemed right at the time, didn't it?"

"... Kind of? Have you ever broken up with someone?"

"No, but I can't imagine it's fun."

"I just don't think Harry understood why we can't be together right now, and I don't want him to think that it's because I don't want to be with him."

"He's not very good at thinking about those things, is he?"

"He's not," Hermione sighed. "Oh, Luna, I've really messed things up, haven't I?"

Surprisingly, Luna shook her head. "No, I don't think so. I think you did the right thing. Harry's head is full of wrackspurts right now. Once he gets those sorted out, he'll realize that."

Hermione nodded, suddenly half-believing that wrackspurts were indeed the reason Harry was acting like was, and not so sure she didn't have any herself. "Do… do I have any wrackspurts?"

Luna looked over Hermione for a second. "Oh, yes. Your head's full of them, too."

She supposed that settled things. Luna had been right about many things in the past, and this was probably one of them. Wrackspurts sounded like a good way to explain all the feelings she was having.

Hermione still kept her head down as she walked through the castle, focusing on the floor and her own feet rather than taking in the damage. Using Bellatrix's wand to fix it seemed counterproductive, but strangely satisfying. Still, it didn't feel right in her hand, and she'd definitely need to get a new wand before too long, especially since this one didn't work as well as her old one had, even with her increase in skill being able to mostly compensate. She had no clue where Neville and Lavender went, but she didn't see them working on the stairs when she went to help, nor in the hospital wing when she visited Madam Pomfrey to ask about Lavender's Wolfsbane Potion. She didn't really want to talk to Luna anymore, and it was strange how much she was craving alone time. Truly alone time. She hadn't slept alone in almost a year; maybe she was due for it.

No one said anything about her keeping to herself for the rest of the day. She noticed a couple stares pointed her way, but quickly averted once she made eye contact. Were the other students scared of her? They had no reason to be. Just because she didn't want to talk about Harry or Voldemort or what had happened last night didn't mean she couldn't have friends. And what about Katie? She suddenly wondered where she was. Had Ron come back to the castle to seek Katie out for comfort? Were they just cuddling some couch somewhere? Would he take her back to the Burrow and introduce her to his family? Would Mrs. Weasley be upset with Hermione for breaking up with Harry just like in fourth year when she thought Hermione had been his girlfriend but also liked Viktor? Would she even be allowed at the Burrow anymore?

"Hermione?" someone called, breaking her from her thoughts and bringing attention to the piece of stairs that was softly hitting the wall instead of moving to the right place. People were staring at her again. She took a deep breath and quickly corrected herself, making a point to focus more. Thinking about Harry and Ron wasn't going to help fix the castle. She needed to make a list.

Once the main staircases to each floor were done, they could access some more parts of the castle, which meant the staff started to split up. Hermione didn't want to go back to Gryffindor Tower at the moment; maybe she'd check on the library since it was off the first floor and she didn't have to take too many wary stairs to get there. To her surprise, it was Katie who offered to come with her when she announced where she was going in case something happened and they needed to find her. She was hesitant about spending all this alone time with her, considering they barely talked before, and she couldn't help but wonder what this was all about. Ron. It had to be Ron. She wanted to talk about him, ask about him, didn't she? As strange as it felt, though, she didn't want to go alone, so she accepted the company and didn't talk to her the entire trip there.

"This is weird, isn't it?" Katie asked, and Hermione did all she could not to tense up.

"Why would you think that?" she asked, though it came out a little more sarcastic than she meant it.

"Look, Hermione," she started as they opened the door to the library - luckily it was mostly intact and wouldn't need much repair. It was the towers that needed most of the work. The first floor, and especially places that weren't fought in, was relatively unscathed as most people fled up to the towers or down into the dungeons. "I know we don't know each other very well, and I didn't entirely come with you to talk about Ron, if that's what you're worried about. I just figured you didn't need to be alone, and people you're close to are hard for you to be around right now."

Hermione frowned. When had Katie become so observant? Had she always been that way and Hermione had never even given her a thought? Then again, she was a year ahead of Hermione, and Hogwarts wasn't the best about allowing multi-house or multi-year friendships in the first place. She'd shown up for a couple DA meetings, but they didn't get a lot of time to talk since they were trying to hurry. The only other time she'd really heard anything about her was from the boys when they were talking about Quidditch or when she got that cursed necklace from Draco.

"It's just strange to talk to people at all," Hermione admitted, picking up a couple fallen books from the shelves on the wall and putting them back up, rearranging some of the other books to make room. "It's just been Harry and…" she swallowed, "I haven't seen a lot of people in a long time. It's not just you."

"I know. If you want me to go, I can, I just… thought…"

"No, it's… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insinuate I didn't want you here. I just didn't think you ever had any intention of being friends with me since we've never really spoken much before."

The quietness of the library suddenly was a lot more calming once she stopped to listen to it. Katie was carefully considering her next words, but Hermione didn't want to hang around for her to figure it out. She didn't mean to come off as crass, but it was the truth - Katie had barely spoken five words to her, and now that Ron was single, she suddenly wanted to be friends? It was too much of a coincidence.

"You're a smart girl, Hermione. I'm not expecting you to become best friends with me, okay? I just… I've lost a lot of friends in the past twenty-four hours and I'm not really trying to lose any more."

Hermione wordlessly put one of the tables back upright and in place, the chairs scooting in around it, before she spoke again. "I don't know if I can make more friends right now, Katie."

"Why not?"

"I've lost a lot of people, too. A lot of people that I was very close to." She sighed, turning to face the girl and crossing her arms over her chest. "Relationships are not really my strong suit at the moment. You know that Ron likes you, and I can tell you like him, too, but if you're looking for… acceptance or approval or something from me, I… really don't care if you're with him or not. That's not in a bad way - I don't have feelings for him anymore. You don't need to bring me into it."

"I have to, though. I do. You've been there for him for years. You've fought with him and loved him and… when he needed a girl there for him, it's been you. It's always been you. Hell, even when he was with Lavender, you were his go-to. I don't know why and I don't know what kind of relationship he has with you right now, but when I went to comfort him last night, he… he still mentioned you. He said… he said that he didn't want you to see him upset like that."

"Then why did he come back to see me? He dragged me off to the stairs."

"I told him to."

"... You told him to?"

"Yes. He lost his brother - I just went to make sure he was okay and I knew you had other people you needed to help at the moment. I couldn't comfort him with something like that, Hermione. That's you. It had to be you. I don't care how you feel about him, but you've always been his rock. And I'm not… saying that to make you feel guilty. Not at all. He was happy to see me, and we talked a little about Fred because I knew him for a long time. But when he started getting to that point where he was breaking down, I knew that I wasn't the one he needed. And I'm okay with that for right now, I promise. We don't have the same relationship he and you do. We don't have to say any more about Ron, but if you get nothing from this conversation, please don't shut him out. I don't think you will, but I figured I needed to say it anyway. I'm not talking about him for my sake."

"How long have you liked him?" Hermione didn't know where the question came from, nor was she sure she necessarily wanted to know, but a part of her did. Why had she been so absent from Ron's life if she liked him?

"A couple years," she answered honestly. "I… well, he's not very good on picking up hints and I'm not very good at giving them, so… it's been like a kind of weird chess game for me. And then Lavender showed up and there were rumors that you liked him too, so… I figured since he was so close to you, you'd be the one he'd go for. And once he got with Lavender, I kind of… wrongly assumed the kind of personality he was into and kind of gave up."

Hermione's shoulders fell - maybe they weren't as different as she thought. "He's definitely thick when it comes to feelings, I can tell you that much. I mean, Harry and I pretended to fancy each other for months and the whole time, he never suspected that it was because I fancied him instead."

"You said you didn't have feelings for him anymore. But you did?"

"He never thought about me in that way and I was too scared to tell him, which dragged everything out so much longer than it needed to be. If you like him, Katie, you're going to need to be up front with him about it."

"And you and Harry were just pretending, but… I saw you kiss…"

Hermione started to tear up again, and wiped it away. "Harry and I were together for… a while. But not anymore. Not right now."

Katie watched Hermione closely for a minute, trying to figure out the best response. "Love's been kind of pushed to the side, hasn't it? Romantic, anyway."

Hermione nodded quickly.

"It'll come back," she assured her. "It always does. We just have to wait it out, right? I don't think I need to tell Ron anything until he's done grieving. And you'll have Harry back."

"Just be there for him. Support him. Be a friend first. That's always what he's wanted in a partner, I think. And… he's not going to get over you anytime soon, probably, if you keep hanging around him. I…" Hermione took a deep breath, "I don't need to be the only supportive woman in his life besides his sister. I know that. So if you want to take that on once all this is over, please be my guest."

Katie smiled a little. "I'll take your word for it," she replied, gathering a couple more books and slotting them back onto the shelves.

"Thank you, Katie," Hermione said after a moment.

"For what?"

"Making me talk. I don't think enough people have been doing that lately."

"No one's expecting you to talk, Hermione."

"Oh, they are. Neville said every newspaper in existence has already been trying to find out what happened in the courtyard yesterday."

Katie pulled a book to her chest nervously. "Well, there are some rumors going around. I think that's why there's so much speculation."

"What rumors?" Hermione snapped.

"People are saying that Harry used… the Killing Curse."

"... He did."

"Good."

Hermione smirked a little. "Glad you think so."

"I don't know if there's anyone in this school who thinks otherwise."

"It's not the people at the school I'm worried about, to be honest. It's the Ministry. If they find out…" Hermione shook her head, "there's no telling how much trouble he'll be in."

"If there's anything I can do…"

"I'll let you know," Hermione promised, taking a breath before moving to Katie and pulling her into a hug. It wasn't nearly as awkward as hugging Draco, but the only person she was truly used to hugging was Harry. Maybe she did need to branch out.

Katie hugged her back softly, and Hermione relaxed a little. It felt… good. Comforting. Real.

"We need all the support we can get," Katie whispered as she pulled away. "Especially you and Harry and Ron. We Gryffindors stick together no matter what, right?"

"Right."

"So did you hear that they're going to try to get classes started back in September?" Katie walked through a little bit and set a couple tables back on their legs by hand.

"Yeah, I did. You're done though, aren't you?"

"Yes, even though we didn't learn a lot this year. Maybe I can ask McGonagall if I can tutor or something. I feel like I still have so much to learn. Or I can teach some kids like Harry did with us. I learned so much from being in the DA. He's a really good teacher."

"I know."

"Sorry. What about you? Would you want to finish out?"

Hermione sighed. "I don't know. Maybe. I… I'm afraid it'll feel like too much, but at the same time, it might be nice to have some sort of a schedule. Something to look forward to. These last few months of just… existing have been very strange."

"I can imagine. You and Harry are staying in the Head Dorms, right?"

"I… don't know, honestly. I don't know if we can when we're not together. He's decided that it would be best to avoid each other," Hermione huffed, using a spell to push a table a little harder than she meant to. It crashed into one of the shelves, sending a whole row of books toppling down onto the table, the sound echoing through the quiet room. Both girls jumped a little, then started laughing as Hermione fixed her mess. "As you can see, I'm not bitter about it at all."

"You and Harry avoiding each other? Fat chance."

"That's my thought exactly." Hermione sighed with a smile, pocketing her wand and deciding that using her hands would probably be safer. "Strangely, he was 'fine' with the breakup - his words - but then he said we couldn't just be friends."

"Doesn't sound like he was fine."

"Honestly, I'd be a lot more upset about it if he was. I know he's not. There's no way the past seven months have meant nothing. But if he can't control himself well enough to not be all over me every time we see each other, then that's his problem, isn't it? Honestly, we were friends for nearly seven years. I don't see why he's being so dramatic."

"Well, it is Harry," Katie teased, and Hermione found herself letting out one of the most honest laughs she'd had in a while.

"Okay, maybe I spoke too soon about wanting to make friends."

"No rush, okay? But if you need someone to complain about Harry to, I have plenty of my own stories about him from Quidditch practice."

"I'll have to take you up on that," Hermione grinned.

It didn't take them long to get the library mostly sorted out before Hermione's stomach was growling again. She hadn't eaten much at breakfast, and she knew she needed to get back on a normal eating and sleeping schedule before too long. She promised Katie she'd meet her in the Great Hall, then went off to find Madam Pomfrey, who looked over the bags under her eyes skeptically when she requested a stamina potion.

"You need sleep."

"Yes, I know," Hermione countered, "but if I go to sleep now, then I won't sleep tonight. I swear I'll take my Dreamless Sleep Potion this evening, but I want to hold off as long as possible so I don't sleep too much. And… is it too much to ask for one for Harry, too, if he wants one?" She wasn't even sure she'd see him until they went to bed, but it was worth a shot since she knew for sure he hadn't slept at all, either.

Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes again before reaching into her supplies and pressing a couple vials into Hermione's hands. "You're lucky you're so trustworthy, Granger. Anyone else would be taking a Dreamless Sleep Potion right now and napping here in the hospital wing."

"Thank you," she whispered gratefully before heading to lunch.

It wasn't much, as most of the house elves were too scared to come back to the castle. Hermione would have gone in the kitchens and started cooking herself, but she knew no one would let her. There wasn't really a set time, either, so she had no idea if she'd even see Harry. Everything was basically as-needed for the moment until everyone could get a schedule together that didn't involve rebuilding the castle. That was the main goal right now, which was fine. Focusing on the rebuild could keep her mind off of Harry.

Except when she felt eyes on her from the entrance of the Great Hall and there he was.

"Harry," she whispered to herself, turning from her conversation with Katie and rushing towards him. Her first instinct was to hug him, but no, he probably wouldn't like that. "Hi," she said simply. He looked like he'd been deep in thought for a long time, and he looked just as tired as she was.

"Hi."

"Here. I snagged a couple of Stamina Potions from Madam Pomfrey with the promise that we'd take our Dreamless Sleep Potion tonight, so you better look very well rested in the morning.."

Harry's eyes looked between hers, then down to her lips, then back up to her eyes again. "I don't think I'm going to stay with you tonight, Hermione."

"Oh… well… that's fine, if that's what you want. I mean, we have separate bedrooms so it's not like we have to sleep together -"

"But I know I'll want to."

Hermione let the tiniest partially triumphant smile cross her face. "Okay. Well… everything should be set with Gryffindor Tower. I think I heard that, so the dorms should be okay to sleep in."

"Yeah, I'll probably just do that." Though he didn't stop his fingers from resting on hers as she handed the small vial over, a lingering touch that seemed much more intimate than she was sure he intended, a touch that sent a shiver down her spine and made her want to pull him to her and kiss him. It had only been half a day, but she missed kissing him. Maybe Harry had a point.

"Okay, yeah," Hermione breathed, moving her hand before she got too carried away. "That's… yeah, that's okay. Would you… like to join Katie and I for lunch?"

"Oh, uh, no I think I'm going to go try to find… find Ron, you know."

"Right. Okay. Well… I'll see you around, then?"

Harry's eyes flicked quickly to her lips again. "Yeah. I'll see you around."

Hermione stared for a couple more seconds before turning quickly and returning to Katie.

"Well, that looked like a disaster," Katie laughed a little as Hermione sat back down.

"It was," Hermione groaned. "I… I thought I'd be okay, but it's like… I can't see him without wanting to kiss him, either."

"It's been your normal for a while, Hermione. It's just new. It'll take a bit to get used to."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," she sighed, wiping her hands on her pants. "He said he's going to sleep in Gryffindor Tower tonight."

"Well that's good, isn't it? You said that you wanted some time to yourself, and now you have it. At least for a night."

"That's true. Maybe I'll take a bath."

Katie smiled. "There you go. The least you deserve is a bath. I'm sure they're great, aren't they?"

"Oh, the best. The… the showers are pretty nice, too," she said before blushing down at her plate before she even realized.

Katie's jaw dropped. "Hermione Granger, are you really telling me what I think you're telling me?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hermione replied, but she couldn't help the smirk that came across her face as she took another bite of food.

Katie just shook her head quietly, but smiled. "I didn't think you had it in you."

That night found Hermione making good on her word to take a bath. She had the dorms to herself, after all - Harry's things were gone, and she tried not to make too big of a deal out of it. He'd said he was going to sleep in Gryffindor Tower with the rest of the boys, and there was nothing wrong with that. He could sleep wherever he pleased, but she couldn't shake the knowledge that this was the first time she'd be sleeping alone since she and Harry started sharing a bed, and if she didn't have the Dreamless Sleep Potion, she would be a lot more nervous. At least she could rely on the potion to keep her safe in Harry's absence.

She pulled a clean towel from the shelf and left her clothes in the hamper, not even bothering to get pajamas to change into when she was done - she was alone, after all. Hermione tried not to let her eyes linger too long on the shower so she didn't get too distracted at the memories. No, tonight was for her.

The water seemed to automatically come out at the perfect temperature, steam instantly rising from the tub as it filled with a beautiful rose-scented, plum-colored, bubbly stream. It was heavenly. How long had it been since she'd even taken a bath? She waited until it was about halfway full before stepping in and moaning softly as the water melted away all the stress from her muscles. There was even a little pillow on the side for her head. It was perfect. She didn't even wash at first; instead, she just closed her eyes, focused on enjoying the warmth for a few moments before her eyes opened again.

She was bored.

It had been so long since she'd just sat in one place by herself that it seemed her body didn't know what to do. She shifted a little, trying to get more comfortable, but it was no use. Her body just didn't want to be still. Hermione summoned a Muggle book from her bag, sitting up enough out of the water to read it. People did that, right? Read in the bath. That was supposed to be relaxing.

Until she got to a part about where some girl had a crush and she quickly closed it, setting it down.

In the next book, the leading girl fell in love with her best friend. That one ended up sliding along the marble tile as she threw it towards the door.

Three books joined the second: one that mentioned a tent, one where one of the characters was called Harry, and another about magic that didn't make any logical sense.

Maybe she was just too in her head. She could relax. Briefly, she thought about what Harry did to get her to relax, but that was definitely not the mood she was looking for. She hadn't even needed to touch herself since they got together, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to. She knew it wouldn't be the same, which would just make her more upset. Maybe she just needed to sit there until she got tired enough. The Stamina Potion she took at lunch was starting to wear off anyway. So she sank a little further into the water, leaned her head back against the pillow, and closed her eyes before taking a deep breath. For a few minutes, she was positive it worked. She felt herself relax a little until her heart rate went into overdrive at a familiar voice.

"Blimey, Hermione, I didn't… I'm sorry… I didn't realize…" Harry was at the door, eyes roaming unabashedly over her, and though his words suggested he wanted to leave, he wasn't moving.

Hermione instinctively curled to cover herself up, though that was stupid. "Harry… what are you doing here?"

Harry took a second to respond, clearly distracted. "Forgot my toothbrush."

"Well… you're staring."

"I know."

Hermione blushed, sinking further into the water but otherwise doing absolutely nothing to stop his gaze. Surely it wasn't wrong to be reminded that he still found her attractive. "I… I don't think you're allowed to do that anymore, Harry."

"Why not?"

"Because we're… not together. And I'm naked. You're not supposed to see me naked anymore."

"Exactly. I'm enjoying it while I can."

Was that a smirk?!

"Harry."

"Do you not like me staring?"

His voice was sending a pulse directly between her legs. Keep it together. You don't need that. "If I remember correctly, you were the one who suggested avoiding each other."

"And for good reason." She shifted a little, and Harry's eyes followed. "You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you in the Great Hall earlier."

"Oh, I'm sure I have an idea. You… you could have, you know." What the hell was she saying? It had come out without her meaning to have told him. Great.

"Kissed you?"

"Yes…"

"Hermione," Harry chuckled, "has that bath water made you delirious? I can't stare at you, but I can kiss you? How does that make sense?"

"You can kiss people who aren't your girlfriend, can't you?"

"Yeah, and I can stare at girls who aren't my girlfriend, too. But not your girlfriend and used to be your girlfriend are two different labels."

"Are they?"

Harry couldn't help but smile again. "Hermione."

"What?"

"I'm not going to kiss you." Clearly, he was just trying to convince himself, because he'd started fidgeting on the spot, quickly wiping the smile off his face.

"I haven't asked you to. I just said that you could."

"You don't understand the term 'breakup' do you?" he teased.

"And how many breakups have you been through?"

Harry opened his mouth to say something snarky, she suspected, but there was a look in his eyes that told her how much he was holding back, and they knew if they started something, they wouldn't be able to stop. Harry took a deep breath, marched over to the sink, grabbed his toothbrush, and only then faced her again, giving her one final look up and down before grinning. "Goodnight, Hermione. Enjoy your bath."

'It would be better if you joined me' went unsaid but acknowledged by both. Unspoken communication had always come naturally, bond or not.

"I will. Goodnight, Harry."

And when she heard Harry leave the portrait hole, for a brief second, she considered trying to drown herself from embarrassment.