Hermione had never thought she'd be one to need therapy. She was rational - able to think things through logically and make the correct decisions. Do what needed to be done to resolve the problem and move on.

But she'd never been in a war until now.

And she'd never been in love until now.

Getting help from Miss Greenwood was just… consulting outside resources. She hadn't had trouble opening up to Harry, and when Miss Greenwood had stepped forward to speak, Hermione knew in her gut that she could trust her, which was a little jarring, but she was quickly finding that things that were uncomfortable often became the best decisions. And she was desperate to make good decisions, because she didn't feel like her… most recent ones… had been a great idea. Amazing, yes. Necessary, probably. Eye-opening, definitely. But decisively good ? Only time could tell. She felt a swooping in her stomach every time she looked into his eyes, which were bright and vibrant now, like they used to be. Had she done that or had they done that? There were so many possibilities swimming around in her head, and in order to sort them all out, she needed to sort herself out first. In order to use her rational mind, she needed to pacify her emotional one, otherwise the assumptions she knew she would make would definitely affect her ability to keep herself from diving into the pool.

She tugged her sleeve down, a nervous habit she'd picked up when she was in a crowd. Even though the word on her arm didn't bother her much anymore, she knew it came with a stigma when other people saw it. Katie didn't even know about it, but considering her history with Draco, it probably wouldn't fare too well for her to know.

Hermione quickly added why I'm so eager to help Draco to her mental list of things to talk about at her appointment. She knew it was strange. She knew it was going against nearly everything Harry stood for, and it made him so angry that she was trying to include him and be nice to him. But for some reason, adding up everything he'd done for them, the little things, the big things, the way he'd put himself on their side of the war, the way he didn't push her away when she hugged him, how he'd comforted her last night without her even asking… it was all something she'd maybe caught glimpses of over the last few years. He hadn't bullied her since she slapped him in third year - even his curse that grew Hermione's teeth in fourth had been aimed at Harry. Why? Maybe she'd ask him.

As she scribbled her name down by the time, sure enough, it faded away into the parchment. Hermione took a deep breath - no turning back now. Not that she would, of course. She needed this. They both needed this. Once she sat back down at the table and Crookshanks took his place winding himself between her calves, she gave Harry a nervous smile. Over the next couple minutes, a few more of them got up and signed their names on the parchment as well. Harry was one of them, and it made Hermione's heart swell. He was doing this for them, too. She knew he had a much harder time opening up, so it was a big step for him if he followed through.

"Okay, so… you've got to explain this whole thing with Malfoy," Katie whispered as soon as Harry left the table.

"Later," Hermione muttered. "In private. But… he's done a lot of things lately that suggest that maybe he's not as bad as we thought he is."

"Hermione, did you forget that he tried to kill me ?!"

"No. No, I haven't forgotten. But, for the record-"

"If you say he wasn't going for me-"

"He wasn't!"

Katie just sighed, shaking her head. "Look, I don't know what's going on or what you've got planned or… what the hell happened with Harry this morning…"

Hermione swallowed, cutting her eyes to Harry, who was on his way back to their table, before dropping her voice. "We had sex," she whispered.

"Are you kidding me ?! I thought Malfoy was joking! Hermione-"

"Shut up. I know, I know." She thought she knew how Katie was going to react, but she didn't expect the smirk that came over her face.

"You two are going to kill me, you know. But I'm only mad at you because I haven't exactly been keeping my promises, either."

Hermione turned fully to face her. "Okay, we're talking about all of this later."

"Talking about what?" Harry chimed in as he sat down.

"Girl stuff," Hermione answered quickly. "Trying to figure out what's in your box."

Harry smirked. "Oh, well, in that case, count me out?"

She turned back to him, eyes narrowed. "What time's your slot?"

"Two."

Hermione took a deep breath. "Right after mine. Perfect." She knew that medical professionals weren't allowed to talk about other patients' information with other patients, that there was a strict confidentiality agreement, and she presumed the same went with mind healing, but she couldn't help but be a little nervous. She didn't like the thought of going on and on about everything going on with Harry only for him to go on and on about everything going on with her next. Or maybe it was a good thing. Or maybe Harry wouldn't even talk about her. The thought almost made her laugh - of course he would. That's all he would talk about if he had the chance.

By the time she got out of her appointment with Miss Greenwood, Hermione had run out of tears. She'd forced herself to relive everything, from the beginning of the horcrux hunt to the battle. After a little bit of hesitance, she found that it felt so good to talk about it with someone who wouldn't care that she wanted to talk about everything. A couple of times, she found herself looking at the woman for any sign of judgment, but there wasn't any. She was just listening and allowing Hermione to say as much as she wanted. There was a quill writing everything down so that Miss Greenwood could pay attention, but refer to any notes later, which Hermione commented was brilliant at the end of the hour.

"Thank you. It's a modification of a Quick Quotes I designed a couple years ago, and I instantly regretted not having one to use in class."

"That's genius," she sighed. "Though I doubt we'd be allowed to have anything like that."

"Sadly, no," Miss Greenwood smiled. "But for work meetings, it's a lifesaver. Do you need any more tissues before you go?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't think so, no. Thank you, though." Her heart felt so heavy, but light at the same time, if that was even possible. It was as if a weight had been pulled off her shoulders, but not a large one. Maybe like a couple kilograms of the hundreds. But it was something, and it felt good to have accomplished. "Could I… go ahead and make my next appointment?"

"Absolutely!" Miss Greenwood stood from the chair and moved to her desk to open her planner. "Same time next week?"

Hermione nodded instantly. "I'm sure I'll need it once Harry's trial is over."

Miss Greenwood scribbled quickly in the planned, then straightened. "Make sure you do your homework, Hermione. Especially with Harry's trial."

"I know you don't know me yet," Hermione grinned, "but I'm the best in my year. I always do my homework."

"Oh, I'm well aware of your academic achievements, Hermione, but this homework isn't what you're used to. With me, you're willing to open up, but I'm not going to be there with you all the time. If you're not used to introspection, it can get difficult. But you know where I am if you need help. During my hours, of course."

Hermione frowned. She'd never been doubted by faculty before. This was someone new she was going to have to prove herself to, and she didn't like it. She wasn't even sure how to answer, so she just nodded and left, taking a deep breath once the door was closed behind her.

Introspection. She'd been doing a lot of that already, hadn't she? What more could there be? She knew exactly how she was feeling and why she was feeling it. Talking made it feel better - why couldn't she just keep doing that? She appreciated the homework since it would be another week before she'd go again, but Miss Greenwood has asked her to start off easy - keep a journal over the next week of her emotions throughout the day to see if there was anything she could identify as triggers for certain ones, or patterns, even writing down at least one night's dream. That was one she was most worried about, since she'd have to forego another night taking her potion. The nightmares she'd had the previous night woke her up multiple times in a sweat with the image of Harry dead in Voldemort's arms and the memory of the runes burning through her chest. She reached a hand up over her shirt, swallowing thickly; she didn't want to have dreams again.

That was probably a little dramatic.

A little further down the hall, Harry was pacing up and down, shaking his hands. He was terrified.

"Harry…"

He snapped his gaze up at her and smiled a little, like he couldn't help it. "Hey… you're all done?"

"Yeah," she breathed. Maybe she should start her journal now with the way she felt just looking at him: she really wanted to play with his hair, and the thought of playing with it made her remember the groan he let out when she tugged on it that morning (she'd leave that out), but he was worried, which made her worried, which wasn't good because she wasn't supposed to be basing her feelings off of his. When this bond was the strongest, were you able to compartmentalize and determine what feelings were coming from you and which ones were coming from him? Greenwood had asked.

She couldn't remember.

"How was it?"

"Awful," Hermione answered honestly.

"Did you talk about me?"

Hermione grinned. She knew he would ask. "Greenwood made me promise I wouldn't tell you. Just like you're not going to be allowed to tell me what you talked about. She said it's really important that we do this separately."

"The only thing we do separately?"

"There are far too many implications in that question for me to be able to answer that, Harry." Nevertheless, she reached for his hand and pulled him into a hug. He always gave the best hugs. Maybe she should write that down, too. She only let go to remind him not to be late to his appointment and watched him walk the short way down the corridor until he was out of sight.

She had agreed to meet Katie in the library at two thirty to try to do some more research for Lavender before the first night of the cycle started next week. As much as she wanted to worry about Harry, the rational part of her brain knew it wasn't good for her, and she was trying her best to welcome the distraction of learning something new. Researching something new. Taking her mind off her wasn't much she could do in the meantime, so she figured being a little early wouldn't hurt.

They had a usual table they met at when they wanted to talk, since the rest of the castle seemed too empty for comfort and the library was cozy, but quiet. Most of the students, whether intentionally or not, had started congregating in the same places for the majority of the day just so they wouldn't have to be by themselves. McGonagall hadn't really planned on anyone staying over the summer, so there wasn't much for them to do, not that they'd want to. Hermione wouldn't have put that pressure on her anyway - they could entertain themselves.

Which is exactly what Katie and Ron seemed to be doing at their table. They were sharing an oversized armchair, which wasn't uncommon for couples to do, while Katie was writing down some notes. It looked like her legs were draped over his, and as she worked, he just… looked at her. Watched her. She didn't need to be any closer to know that Ron's eyes were mapping her face, her neck, probably her hair. His arm was wrapped around her back, resting near her waist, probably giving her a little support.

Hermione was crying again before she even realized it. It scared her, at first, and her instinct was to push it down. Tell herself she was ridiculous for crying. She had no reason to cry over Ron when they were never together. When she had everything she wanted in Harry. When she would have never made him that happy. It was almost as if…

She swallowed, sitting down quickly at the nearest table and pulling a piece of paper out of her bag, along with a pen. Grief. That's what she was feeling - she'd come to know it very well. She hadn't mentioned the whole fake dating plan to Greenwood. It wasn't important. Just some silly plot that Harry had come up with that hadn't even made a difference. But had it?

It was here, in this room, that she realized her feelings were unreciprocated. When Ron had broken her heart. She took a glance over at them again - Ron had pulled Katie a little closer, and she could have sworn Katie blushed. This was not the same girl she had breakfast with. Did Hermione look like that when she was around Harry? Did she turn into a different person, too? Even now?

What had she done when Ron rejected her? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

Pretended it never happened.

She'd never cried over Ron again, and it was like it was all catching up. A little over a year later, her heart was finally getting to release the grief of never getting to be with him. She'd bottled it up and put it to the side, but now, her heart was so full of bottles clinking against each other as she made room for more that one of them was bound to break.

This grief wasn't hers. Not her current self's. This was the heartbreak fourteen-year-old self Hermione had stashed away at the Yule Ball when deep down, she'd given up hope that Ron would want her. Hermione closed her eyes and took four deep breaths (she'd have to tell Greenwood she was using her techniques already) to ground herself. Instead of powering through her emotions, she… how did Greenwood put it… strolled.

Okay, I'm over Ron. Totally over him, right?

Right.

So why am I upset?

No.

Why are you upset?

Me?

Yes, you. Whoever you are. Ron didn't like you - you have no reason to still be sad.

But I need to be.

Fine, be sad. Then will you leave me alone?

Why are you crying?

I'm not.

Not at all? Not that he's happy? You're happy when Harry's happy - why not Ron, too? Don't you want him to be as happy as you are?

Were.

Are.

Are?

Nothing's changed, has it?

Hermione knew, once she blocked out the noise, the anxiety, the fear, the lust, the worry, the sadness, the anger, the confusion, if she concentrated hard enough, she could feel it. Barely, but she could. A tug in her chest that had slowly been getting stronger, like the flutter of wings, currently in the direction she'd just come from. Towards Greenwood's office. Towards Harry.

She didn't know how, and she didn't know why, and part of her didn't want to acknowledge it. Because if she did, she'd rely on it. She'd want to tell him, but he didn't need to know. If he knew, he'd say that they had no reason to stay broken up and that they'd just fix everything. Or maybe it would convince him they weren't a lost cause and that they'd be okay.

Maybe she wasn't giving him enough credit. Maybe she would tell him, but not now. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again; she needed to get out of her brain for a second. Katie was back to working and Ron was staring again until he leaned over to press a kiss against her temple. Katie had said she wouldn't say anything until Ron was done grieving. I haven't exactly been keeping my promises, either, she said that morning. She wasn't wrong. She wanted to say something, to go over there and interrupt them, to warn Katie that she didn't want them to turn out like the complicated relationship she and Harry had, but she didn't.

Ron was happy. Katie was strong enough to handle it. And he had liked her for years; he deserved a victory after all their loss. She jotted happy for Ron down on her paper so she wouldn't forget and folded it up neatly before storing it back in her bag. A few more deep breaths and her tears had stopped. Seeing Ron smile made her feel good. Katie looked up to the clock and muttered something to Ron, who just nodded, looking up at the clock too. Katie moved her legs off his lap, standing next to him to see him out. Their hands locked together as they walked past her to the entrance, and Hermione could help but watch like this was a movie. A romance with no bond to worry about, no history. She was kind of jealous, if she was being honest, but she wouldn't give up what she had with Harry for the world. The bond was what assured her that everything would be okay, no matter what they did, and maybe she had been taking advantage of that. She'd been reckless with him, confusing. But that's what everything was, wasn't it? She wasn't about to give up her happiness and her needs, especially when they matched his. Hermione felt better being with him anyway - there was no doubt about that.

Katie squeezed Ron's hand before he left, and like it was the most natural thing in the world, he pulled her in and kissed her. It was nothing compared to watching him kiss Lavender. That was a flaunt, a show, for everyone else. This kiss was just for the two of them. Hermione almost looked away. When Katie pulled back, she had a shy smile on her face, as if she couldn't believe that had actually happened. She even watched him walk out, and Hermione couldn't help but smile herself. "Fancied" was putting it lightly; Katie was falling hard and fast, and Hermione didn't blame her one bit. Ron was the brightest light in her life right now - it was only natural for her to fly towards it, like she was with Harry.

Hermione stood up, wiped her eyes, and took her bag in her hands to make sure that Katie saw her as she turned around, and when she did, Katie jumped in shock. "Hermione!"

"You weren't kidding," she smirked, making sure that Katie knew she wasn't really upset. How could she be?

Katie smiled again as they walked back to the table. "I'm not trying to hide it from you, I promise. I just hadn't gotten around to… telling you."

"I know," Hermione assured her. "You have no reason not to tell me, since… well, you know how great things were going on the not being with Harry front."

"Yeah, so what happened this morning?! Spare the details, but-"

"No," Hermione interrupted, sitting down at the table and tugging her notebook out of her bag. "You first. You already know how my morning went. That wasn't your first kiss, I know better."

"It wasn't." Katie sat down in the chair next to her, pulling the books over she'd already started gathering, but she didn't open them just yet. "The very first kiss was… at Fred's funeral."

Hermione's shoulders dropped. "Oh no…"

"Yeah, it wasn't pretty. And I told him that. I told him it wasn't a good time, that I couldn't just kiss him because he was sad, and he said that he wasn't kissing me because he was sad, he was kissing me because he liked me and he wanted to make sure I knew it. Then he started going into a whole speech about how losing Fred made him realize that he has no idea how much time he has left with anyone, so it's not good to just waste your time."

Hermione smiled fondly. "And then what?"

"I kissed him to shut him up," she laughed. "He got the message."

"Good. I'm glad he's got someone to set him straight when he needs it."

"Yeah, part of me has to remember sometimes that we're not playing Quidditch."

"He… God, I probably shouldn't be telling you this because I don't want to encourage anything, but… he kind of likes the fact that he thinks you're a little intimidating."

Katie straightened in her chair. "He does?"

"Yes. But that's all I'm going to tell you, and I don't think that's what he needs right now."

"No, of course not," Katie breathed. "But I guess I'll… file it away?"

"Now I know how Ron felt with Harry and I," Hermione laughed. "Can we just get to the research, please? Before I think about any more things I really don't want to?"

Katie smirked, pushing a book over before her expression changed back to concern. "You're really giving Malfoy another chance, aren't you?"

"I'm trying to. He's… different around me, I think. It's weird. But… everyone else has expectations of him that he feels he needs to uphold. A mask he has to put on, but… not for me, and I'm trying to figure out why." She opened the book to skim through the table of contents and flip to a couple pages, using her fingers as bookmarks.

"Do you think he's just trying to… make you think about him a certain way so he gets on your good side?"

Hermione shook her head. "I don't think so. He's being sincere. And what does he have to get out of being nice to me and not anyone else?"

"Boost in his reputation?"

Hermione glared over at her for a second, but Katie was looking down at her own book. She completely understood why everyone felt the way they did about him, and why they weren't willing to give him an explanation. Definitely Katie, and definitely Harry. But at least Harry was trying - she knew seven years of rivalry weren't going to go away overnight.

"I think he's just desperate for someone to see his pain, too," Hermione whispered, shifting a little in her seat before getting back to work.

After nearly an hour of looking through numerous books on lycanthropy, magical herbs, potions, and spells, they'd gotten a couple of ideas they thought might make Lavender more comfortable during her transformation, but the consensus was there wasn't much else they could do. From the few reports they'd been able to find, the after-effects were worse than the transformation, because they lasted up to a week even after the transformation. She'd really only have three weeks a month of normal life.

"I hate this," she whispered, scooting her chair back as her forehead fell onto the pages. "This is my fault, Katie. I took away a quarter of her life."

Katie was quiet for a moment next to her, because she couldn't deny it. "Hermione… if… if she wasn't okay with it-"

"She wouldn't tell me."

"Oh, she would. She doesn't like you that much. She's got no reason to spare your feelings."

Hermione let out a laugh she wasn't expecting. It sounded weird coming out of her mouth, considering the topic, but she saw Katie was smiling, too. "I suppose it would help if I presented our research while taking hers into consideration, though, wouldn't it?"

"It will if you want to keep Neville on your good side."

"I knew it," Hermione grinned, picking up her notes and stacking them in a neat pile. "Did you see the way they were sitting this morning?"

"I don't think anyone in the Great Hall missed it. Though, if everyone's going to pair up, now's the time to do it, I'd imagine."

"It's just staying together that's apparently the issue."

"As if you're having trouble with that."

"Harry and I aren't together."

"Just shagging."

"Exactly."

"Call it what you want, Hermione," Katie grinned. "Just watch out to make sure Malfoy's not the one who encouraged that article this morning. It was so weird seeing him hug you," she continued as they headed out of the library to find Lavender - probably in the dorms.

"It was weird. I… actually don't think he's used to it, which is terrible."

"You think?"

"I do. I think the two he's gotten from me were probably the most recent hugs he's had, which is… almost too terrible for me to even want to think about."

"Maybe he's not a hugger."

"I think he wants to be."

Katie readjusted her bag over her shoulder. "I think you're giving him too much credit."

"Well, you're not the only one."

"I'm not holding it against you," she promised. "I just… hope you're right, that's all. I want to believe you, but after all he's done…"

"I know. But the way he treated me last night was like nothing I've ever experienced before."

"Okay, you know how that sounds, right? You better hope that none of those reporters hear anything like that." Hermione just snorted, rolling her eyes. "What did happen?"

"I meant from Draco." She took a deep breath - she could trust Katie with the truth. Katie wouldn't judge. "I had a panic attack last night when I saw him in that room. I… I was planning on just letting everything loose as soon as I got into the dorms and I couldn't stop it even though he was there. It was so embarrassing. I couldn't breathe and he just kept making sure I was okay. And I told him I needed touch and just grabbed his hand and put it on my back under my shirt and… God, I feel like I need to apologize to him."

Katie's eyes were wide, and they'd stopped walking. "What did he do?"

"He just held me. Made me sit down on the couch and just held me until I calmed down. And then he tried to help me to bed, but he couldn't get in my room." She tugged at her sleeve again. "He called me Hermione."

"It's not like he doesn't know your name."

"But he doesn't use it. When I was upset, it was like his whole demeanor changed or something."

"I don't know, Hermione," Katie sighed. "It's not me you have to convince. If he can prove himself, then fine. We've all changed over the last few months."

"Let's just go find Lavender. I don't think talking about it's going to change much."

Sure enough, she was sitting on her bed in Gryffindor Tower, knees pulled up against her chest as she just stared at the comforter.

"Lavender?" Hermione asked softly. It was almost as if Lavender was in a trance. Her hair was a mess, more so than she'd seen it that morning, there were dark circles under her eyes, and she was so pale. Hermione's heart ached. No matter whether they liked each other or not, Hermione was still responsible, and she'd have to live with that for the rest of her life. She wasn't sure if the alternative would have been easier to live with, either.

The sound of her name seemed to snap Lavender out of her thoughts, and as she looked up at them, Hermione noticed her usually blue eyes were almost orange, but it seemed like they wouldn't focus properly. Her gaze kept falling, darting back and forth between her and Katie, no matter how hard she tried to keep it in one place.

She was terrified. Hiding away somewhere she knew people wouldn't usually bother her during the day.

"We… Katie and I… found some information in the library today about things that might help you, erm, over the next few days and I just wanted to make sure you had all the information, or… that you knew what was going on." Lavender just nodded softly so that Hermione could continue. "You're still planning on going to the empty greenhouse?" She nodded again. "Okay, well, would you like me to read over everything for you or just… leave you be for the moment?" Hermione already knew the answer, but she figured she'd at leave give the poor girl an option. No matter what their past was, there was no way Hermione could be anything but caring to her when she was like this.

Lavender thought for a moment, then just reached out her hand, into which Hermione placed the couple pieces of paper. "Thank you," she muttered. If she was this bad with the change being three days away, Hermione was more nervous for what was coming.

"Of course. You're more than welcome to spend the day with us if you'd like. Maybe get some fresh air?"

Lavender shook her head, and Hermione took a deep breath.

"That's fine," Katie responded. "Just know that we're here for you. Both of us. All of us, really. You don't have to go through this alone."

"I know," Lavender whispered, managing a small smile up at them. "Thank you. I just… I get nervous when I'm around people, so… but thank you."

Hermione exchanged a glance with Katie and nodded at Lavender. When the latter's focus moved to the bed again, they took that as their cue to leave, and Hermione felt herself letting out a deep breath as soon as the dormitory door was closed behind them. She waited until they were in the common room before she spoke again.

"God, that was awful."

"I know," Katie muttered. "I'm worried she won't want to sleep there tonight."

"I'd give her my dorm but I don't think she'd enjoy sharing a space with Draco, either. We should go find Neville. If anyone can talk to her right now, it's him."

Greenhouse Five was where she'd planned to stay - it had been mostly empty before the battle and was set off a bit from the others due to the layout of the grounds. They'd been in there a handful of times for classes, but Professor Sprout had assured them they could use it for Lavender. She had even put up her own protective enchantments along the walls and ceilings so if anything went wrong, Lavender wouldn't try to escape and hurt herself.

That was where Hermione and Katie found Neville, who was currently conjuring and duplicating a number of pillows and stacking them neatly all over the floor and vanishing anything he thought wasn't necessary. He seemed to be in a trance almost as much as Lavender was, and jumped at the sound of Katie calling his name.

"Hey. Sorry, I-I didn't see you. D'you think this is enough pillows?" He looked around at the mounds of stacks around him while the girls stood at the doorway, following his gaze.

"I think it's lovely that you're giving them to her," Hermione started, leaving out the fact that she might end up shredding them all anyway.

"I want her to be… comfortable, you know. Have you seen her?"

"We just came from the dorms, actually."

At Hermione's tone, Neville's shoulders dropped. "She doesn't look any better, does she?"

Hermione just shook her head. "We did find some things that might be helpful, though, for after. There aren't a lot of accounts, but there's speculation and… well…"

"It can't hurt?" he finished, slumping against a table he'd charmed to have soft edges.

"No. We figured it can't."

"She'll have Wolfsbane too, right?"

"Yes. So she'll at least have a human mind."

"Good." Neville took a breath, looking up at them. "I want to stay with her."

"Are you joking?!" Katie started, but Hermione held out a hand to stop her from continuing, though she was feeling the same way. She hated for anything to happen to Neville, but she'd been trying to stop controlling other peoples' actions. Neville was smart. He knew exactly what he was up against.

"I can set up the tent for you if you want, so you'll at least have a decent place to sleep."

"Really? You'd do that?"

"Absolutely. I don't want to see her out here all by herself."

"Thanks. So, erm, what've you got on your list? Anything we need to get?"

Hermione finally walked further into the greenhouse and settled herself on one of the pillows and handing Neville the copy of the list she'd made. "I think we need a warming charm that morning, or maybe an hour or so before sunset. I read a couple accounts about running a fever, and, well, since she won't exactly be clothed, I can't imagine she'd be okay without anything if she starts to feel cold. Basically your body's treating it as an infection, so it's going to try to expel whatever's attacked. Only, it'll eventually take over. Also, speaking of which, we'll need to get some extra clothes for her. The comfiest ones we can find. She'll be sore in the morning, so anything that can ease that will be good.

"There are a couple herbal pastes we can get from the Potions supply closet. Others we might have to go searching for, so I'm not sure they'll do much good this time, but there was something about a Catharanthus plant. I found conflicting reports, though - some say it's toxic, but others say it can be medicinal. I think it might be used for Muggles for… for cancer, so I thought it might affect the cellular changes. Maybe stop them from being so extreme? But I don't want to do anything without having a solid source, so that might not work. I also looked into some more specific remedies for her organs, and there's an essence of Ecliptica that is good for rejuvenation, so maybe we could look into that for afterwards, but the leaf extract is really good for the liver, too, which obviously she needs to stay properly functioning. Most of the care is for when the change is over, since you won't really be able to interact with her much once she's-"

"Hermione." Neville's hands were on her shoulders and there were tears in her eyes. Katie was staring at her a little slack-jawed at the rant she'd gone on. "Take a breath."

She did, and instantly felt better, like the longer she spoke, the tenser her shoulders became, the more nervous she got.

"This is so much more than I could have asked for, okay? Or that Lavender could have asked for. I know why you're going through all this trouble, and I want you to know that while it's not necessary, I appreciate it, and I know she will too."

The walls of the greenhouse felt like they were closing in on her, except without the pillows. This was where Lavender was going to transform. Would Neville have to put a silencing charm on it so he couldn't hear her bones cracking and her skin ripping as she grew out of her body? She'd warn him. The image of Remus was still fresh in her mind as if it were yesterday and not four years ago that she'd watched it. Watched him turn into someone they didn't recognize. Watch him hurt Sirius, his best friend, without a second thought. Suddenly, she felt like she needed a warming charm. A shiver ran over her arms and Neville pulled her in for a hug, which she graciously reciprocated.

"She'll be okay," Neville assured her. "We'll be okay. After this, we'll know what to expect, yeah?"

Hermione nodded against his chest. She'd made her delivery, she'd said what she needed to, and as much as she hated leaving Neville to his own anxiety, she knew there wasn't anything she could do to help him.

By the time she got back to her dorm, she was emotionally exhausted, but her plans to spend the next couple hours before dinner relaxing were dashed at the sound of Draco muttering angrily under his breath and rummaging around the common room, looking under the couch, throwing the pillows around without even acknowledging Hermione's presence.

"What are you looking for?"

His head snapped up to her as he glowered. "Granger, I'm looking for… what's his name."

She raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't help me."

"Your bloody cat keeps plopping his literal arse all over my clothes. All of them! My jumpers, my trousers, the bloody suit , Granger. I don't even know how he got into my room. But look at this!" He shoved a wool sweater into her face, one that was once black but was now littered with long orange hairs that had firmly stuck themselves into the fabric.

Hermione had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. "Maybe he thinks your wardrobe needs more of a variety of colors."

"This is why I don't have pets," Draco huffed, trying to painstakingly pick each hair one by one out of the wool.

"You know, Draco, there's…" Hermione closed her mouth quickly, moving to deposit her books into her room, "actually, nevermind. I'll let you figure that out. You should be grateful, really. He only claims certain people."

" He's the one that should be grateful that I can't find him, otherwise-"

As she opened the door, the very mass of fluff Draco was looking for darted out, barely rubbing against Hermione's legs on his beeline for Draco, rolling over onto his shoes. Draco's eyes flickered up to Hermione's, then back down.

"You're lucky your mum's here," he near-growled through gritted teeth, "or you'd be out the window."

Hermione's jaw dropped. "You wouldn't dare ."

"I absolutely would, Granger, and you know it." But Crookshanks had started purring, and Draco could only huff. "Okay, I guess that's kind of cute, but that's where I draw the line. That's as much as you're going to get." He flicked his foot and Crookshanks instantly rolled back over to jump up on the couch.

"Is that what you were doing all day? Scouring the castle for a cat?"

"No," Draco replied, a little too quickly. "Why, what were you doing that was so important? And don't count this morning, because I know exactly what you did. I could smell it in the hallway."

Hermione suddenly choked on her own spit, fumbling with her notebook until it fell to the floor while Draco just laughed. A genuine one, too, which made it worse. It was strange to hear, like seeing him smile, but that didn't make her feel any better. After a few seconds, she finally pulled herself together and straightened her stack of books. "You really like talking about my sex life don't you? Are you jealous or something?" She didn't make eye contact with him, because her words didn't come out as teasing or mean as she intended. She couldn't keep up with his quips, and that was mildly annoying.

Draco flopped down on the leather couch next to Crookshanks, who didn't even budge as the cushion moved underneath him. "Actually it's Potter's I don't want to hear about. Yours, on the other hand…" he smirked.

Hermione let out a squeak of annoyance as she disappeared into her room, deposited her things, and put her hair up in a quick bun before making her way back into the common room. She still didn't want to make eye contact because there was no way she was talking about anything like that with Draco, but he was just laughing again.

"You're so easy to get flustered, Granger. It's incredible."

"Can you please say something productive for once?"

"Productive? It's like you don't know me."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "What if I told you that you talking like that makes me feel uncomfortable being alone with you?"

Draco scoffed. "No it doesn't."

"So you're putting words into my mouth now?"

A hint of a smirk crawled over Draco's mouth before he bit his lip, clearly not saying the first thing that popped into his mind for what Hermione was sure might be the first time. "Fine. I'm sorry . Is that better? So what have you been up to today?"

Hermione really wanted to sit down, but the only place currently unoccupied was a small spot of the cushion next to Crookshanks, on the same sofa as Draco, or the uncomfortable wooden chairs at the table. She groaned and decided on the couch, trying not to think too hard about the way she could feel Draco's gaze on her.

"Katie and I spent a little time in the library researching, um… for Lavender." His brows furrowed, and she realized he didn't even know what was going on. "She… she has lycanthropy."

Draco's back straightened. "How?"

"During the battle, she… was attacked."

"And she's still alive?"

"I saved her."

"Why?"

Hermione swallowed hard, and she scratched a little at her pants. "I think I'm still trying to figure that out, but… I have to live with it now."

Draco seemed to take a few seconds to think about his next words. "Is that what you do now? Help people?"

"What do you mean?"

He opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. "I just don't want to see anything happen to you, that's all."

"You said a week ago that you hoped my death was painless!"

"Because I thought that was the only option!" Draco argued, standing from the couch and turning away from her, which made Crookshanks shoot him a look, too. "Do you honestly think I'm incapable of caring about people?"

"I… no, of course not!"

"I've lost everyone I care about, Granger. Friends, family, doesn't matter. So I just learned to… pretend, I guess. That I didn't. It's easier to be mean than it is to care, isn't it?"

"Draco-"

"I didn't mean to make this about me. I just know what happens to people who try to help, all right? They don't stick around for very long. And I'm being selfish in… wanting you to stick around because you're the only fucking person who's giving me a chance to prove myself right now. And don't say you're not, because you are. Potter's not trying-"

"Because you're not being nice to him!"

"Even if I was, it wouldn't matter. He's hated me since first year, Granger. There's no point. Nothing I do is good in his eyes."

"Why do you care?"

"What?"

"You said all I'm doing is helping people. All you're doing is basing your worth off of what everyone else thinks of you." She took a breath to keep her own voice from rising out of annoyance. "You don't have to do that anymore."

A thousand emotions and responses ran through Draco's brain. It was clear in the tension of his back, the way his neck tightened as he clenched his jaw.

It took him a few seconds to formulate his response. "Your cat can keep the jumper. Got it last year anyway."

Draco fled into his room, and Hermione didn't see him for the rest of the night.