Chapter 7

By the next morning, Starsky appeared to have rallied once more. The fever had broken during the night and he was breathing easier. He listened calmly as Hutch explained what he knew about the virus that was raging inside the brunet.

"Just like Bellamy, huh?" Starsky said dryly "Only this time I got more than twenty-four hours. It sounds like we're not going be so lucky this time. You're not going be able to come up with the vaccine to save me at the last minute."

"Christ, Starsky! Don't talk like that! There's still a chance. There's always a chance!"

"Yeah, one in a million? I wouldn't take any odds on that. They suck." Starsky said, falling back on black humor to deal with the overwhelming emotions that were washing over him. He sighed heavily. He knew this was even harder on Hutch than it was on him. Starsky had already died once. He wasn't afraid of death, but he was afraid of leaving Hutch behind. Somehow he had to find a way to help Hutch accept the inevitability of his probable death. "You'll have to call Ma. She'll skin us both alive if you don't."

"I will." Hutch promised. His voice was strong but Starsky saw the glint of tears in his eyes.

"But wait a couple of days, okay? I don't think I can deal with her being here right now."

"Okay."

"And remember your promise. If it gets as bad as they say it will…don't let them put me on those fucking machines…just let me go with a little dignity left." Starsky said. He saw the flash of pain that twisted Hutch's face into a grimace but chose to ignore it.

Hutch nodded, unable to speak. This was a conversation that he didn't want to have. Not now. Not ever. He knew how strongly Starsky felt about this even if Hutch didn't entirely agree with his decision. Starsky had been through so much in his relatively short life. He had the right to make the final choices concerning his own death. Most people weren't given that kind of choice. Starsky reached out and grasped Hutch's hand.

"I'm scared, Starsk." Hutch admitted in a ragged whisper.

"And you think I'm not?" Starsky said with a crooked smile. "Hey, everybody has to go sometime…some of us sooner than others. It's not so bad…I've already done it once, remember?"

"Shut up, Starsk." Hutch growled "I don't wanna talk about losing you."

"You wanna talk about the weather? That's no fun." Starsky said lightly. "There's no snow here. Not that I miss the cold…but I do miss the seeing snow at Christmas. Not that the snow ever looked that great back in New York…unless you like gray slush."

Starsky knew that he was rambling but he knew that it would calm the agitated blond.

Hutch smiled faintly. "I should have taken you back to Minnesota with me more often for Christmas." He said. Although Hutch had been estranged from his family for years, after Starsky almost died, he had made a real effort to mend the rift between them. His efforts had been only partially successful. His parents were too wrapped up in their own lives and social status to worry much about mending any bridges with their oldest child and their only son.

They still resented his choice of a career and they weren't that fond of Starsky, another issue that had caused their estrangement. He had managed to resume a relationship with his younger sister, Karen, and they were closer now than they had ever been. She was the only member of his immediate family that he called and wrote to on a regular basis. And she adored Starsky which was a big plus in her favor. He knew that she would be devastated if the brunet didn't make it.

"Naw, your family is a little too snooty for me." Starsky said with a grin "Except for Karen of course. She's the only one that seems half way normal…present company excluded of course." Hutch playfully swatted Starsky's shoulder at his teasing. They both chuckled, easing the tension in the air.

They spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV, playing a game of gin, and just enjoying each other's company the way they always had. If it weren't for the cloud hanging over Starsky's medical condition, things could have passed for normal. After taking his nighttime meds, Starsky settled down for the evening.

"Hutch, I want you to go home and get a decent night's sleep." Starsky insisted as he got comfortable in the bed. "You look terrible and, no offense, but you need a shower. You're starting to smell a little rank, pal."

"Yeah, well I don't have a pretty nurse to come in and give me a sponge bath every day." Hutch teased him.

"I'll trade you places." Starsky said falling easily into their usual banter.

"I would if I could…in a heartbeat." Hutch said sincerely.

"I know you would." Starsky said fondly. "But you can't…now get out of here and get some sleep. Bring me a milkshake in the morning, okay?"

"You got it. Chocolate?"

"Of course. What other flavor is there?"

Hutch hesitated then reached down to smooth out Starsky's blanket, receiving a warning glance from the brunet for his trouble. Squaring his shoulders, he said, "I'll be here first thing in the morning." He turned and left the room, his shoulders sagging wearily once he was out of the brunet's sight.

He hated leaving Starsky's side, even for one night. He was secretly terrified that something would happen while he was gone and he wouldn't be there to say goodbye. The two friends had promised each other years ago that they would be there for each other, that neither one of them would ever have to die alone. And that was a promise that Hutch intended to keep.

He stopped at the nurse's station on his way out. Jackie Edwards, a older woman with salt and pepper hair, was on duty so he knew that Starsky would be in good hands. She was the motherly type who enjoyed spoiling the brunet half of the duo. She looked up and smiled warmly as Hutch paused at the desk.

"Are you finally going to go home and get some real sleep?" she chided him.

"Starsky's orders." Hutch told her with a grin. His smile faded and his expression turned solemn "Call me if he needs me for anything."

"I will, love. You know that." She reassured him. "Don't worry. I'll take good care of him for you."

"I know you will." Hutch said gratefully.

"David is lucky to have a friend like you. So many of our patients don't have families as close as you two are."

"I'm the lucky one." Hutch told her. He turned and continued on to the elevator. Outside, the night air was cool with a mild breeze and a full moon. Hutch walked across the parking lot to his battered LTD and climbed inside. The engine coughed a few times before finally starting and he pulled out of the lot, heading for Starsky's apartment instead of his own.

It was a habit that he had started when Starsky was in the hospital after Gunther's attack. Spending his time away from the hospital at Starsky's apartment instead of his own helped him feel closer to his partner. In Starsky's domain surrounded by his personal possessions, Hutch felt calm and at peace. They both kept extra clothes at each other's apartments, so a change of clothes was no problem and, although Hutch would never admit it to Starsky, he preferred Starsky's king sized waterbed to his own orthopedic mattress.

Arriving at the brunet's apartment, Hutch parked in the driveway and used the extra key on his key ring to let himself inside. The apartment was neat and clean, as usual. Most of his friends would have been surprised to learn that Starsky was such a neat freak when it came to his home. It seemed out of character with the rest of his outgoing personality. But that was just one of the fascinating facets of the brunet's unique behavior that made Starsky who he was. Hutch turned on the overhead light in the living room and crossed the room to open a window to let some fresh air into the apartment.

He opened the refrigerator and grabbed a cold beer along with some cold meat to make a sandwich. After his impromptu snack, he went into the bathroom and stripped off his clothes, relaxing with a long, hot shower. Leaving his clothes lying on the bathroom floor, he wrapped a towel around his slender waist and padded back into the living room where he turned off the lights and locked the door securely. Going into the bedroom, he collapsed on the bed and quickly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.