Hello everyone, remember this fic? I know it's been over a year since I started on what was supposed to be a one-shot, but like most stories, this one has gotten a life on its own. And even now, a year later, it still isn't done. This chapter didn't end where I initially thought it would, but I did want to update one last time this year and to reach over one million words uploaded to this site. Which is super wild to me, but it may be of no interest to you, so I'm leaving it at this. (it's unedited for now, I'll probably go over it tomorrow )
As 2019 is coming to an end, I want to thank everyone for all the support over the years. All the comments on the fics, the likes, the favs. It truly means the world to me, and I promise to slowly but surely continue them all. So I wish you all an excellent turn of the decade and a happy 2020.
Enjoy. and let me know what you think
X - M
MISTLETOE MYSTERY
CHAPTER V
June 12th, 2016
Eyes directed on the stage in front of him, he stands proudly. Hands clapping like all the others around him are. It's not because Katrina is doing so on his right, or Rachel next to that, that he does. But it's because of the only person that captured his attention for the past hour- her bright red locks making her stand out even more than her fellow castmates and in his opinion, she out-acted them all.
He claps again, yells her name when the others around him do the same to other actors. He catches her chuckle, and he grins when Rachel joins in on it. He watches her slowly shake her head, but he knows she's enjoying every second of it.
His attention is abruptly interrupted when his phone starts buzzing in the pocket of his jeans, and he has half a mind to ignore it altogether, but it's the vile look Louis gives him that makes him reach for the object anyway.
Meet me backstage in five.
Upon reading the text, he instantly frowns, and he stares at the five words on the screen for a moment before he lifts his gaze and directs it on the stage again. Finding the redhead's gaze in a second once more, he wonders how Donna managed to text him when he watched her every move, but he knows better than to question her methods. He also notices the nod she gives him, confirmation of the correspondence and he mirrors the motion.
"Harvey," it's Katrina's muffled voice and slap of her wrist against his arm that has him look away again. "Stop texting."
"It's-" he pauses midsentence, mouth left agape when he realises there's no point in explaining. He bobs his head up and down, locks the screen and demonstratively places the phone back in his pocket.
He looks around the crowd now, in search for an exit. The people still cheering and waving around obstructing his view, but he spots a door on the right then.
"Sorry," he says, hand finding Katrina's shoulder as he moves in the blonde's direction. Stepping in front of her when she moves to the side, he repeats the gesture with Rachel and then Mike; receiving a curious look from all three of them he doesn't explain himself but moves along — sneaking through the door before someone can stop him.
It's a fast adjustment once he's on the other side; the room behind the stage is dark, and he pauses as he blinks twice. Trying to figure out his way around the place, it's her voice that helps him.
"Hey."
He turns to the left, and his gaze finds hers in a beat. His greeting forgone he smiles. Words of how amazing she was on the tip of his tongue, Donna beats him in breaking the silence.
"Where are my flowers?"
"Wha-" He blinks twice but laughs when he sees her grin, and Harvey knows then she's just teasing him. He remembers then a conversation they had three months prior. "Gave them to Louis," he says. "You know I only came here to see him."
She rolls her eyes and slaps his chest.
He fakes being hurt, running his hand over his sternum. "Why did you text -"
"Donna, honey!"
A voice echoes through the room, it cuts off the pronunciation of his question, but it results in an answer all the same - especially when the redhead sighs and bobs her head to the side. A fake smile gracing her lips and the look she shares with him telling Harvey enough.
"Hi mom," she mutters now, stepping forward and into the widespread arms of her mother. Accepting the hug, she distances herself again a few seconds later. Presses her lips into a fine line once more and then turns to look at her best friend. "This is -"
"You must be Harvey," Clara says, extending her hand to reach for Harvey's. She shakes it before he can even grasp what's happening, but he nods at last when the older woman taps on his hand before letting go. "Are you two ready for dinner?"
He frowns in surprise but knows better than to question one Paulsen woman and with two right in front of him, and he remains silent.
"Just need to change," Donna answers indicating her outfit with her hand. "Then we are."
Clara smiles and nods in understanding. "Then we'll see you two outside," she states, and she turns around to make her way back to the hall, her daughter walking away in the opposite direction. Both are leaving Harvey right where he was standing, still confused and wondering what he missed.
When Donna returns a couple of minutes later he watches her walk towards him, a sly smile gracing her lips and he shakes his head. Having caught up to the situation, he can't believe she tricked him into it but a part of him curious as to why. "So," he starts as he walks her out of the theatre, shoulder brushed against hers as they pass the door. "You can't handle your mom?"
She knows his words are nothing more than a tease, but she counters anyway. "Ooh I can handle my mom," she reassures him. "I just have no interest in meeting stepdad number three."
He looks at her in surprise.
"She brought this guy here. Anton? Aaron? I don't even know what his name is, but she uhm… She wants me to meet him," she explains. "I mean, we might not always be on the same page and love my mom, it's just… Those dinners are always her and whatever boyfriend being all loved up and then there's me and I - "
He hears her sigh and bites down his lip, taking in her words. His situation is not the same, but he can imagine what it must feel like to experience it. The handful of times he ran into Bobby enough for a lifetime and combined those interactions weren't more than ten minutes. "Needed back up?" he fills in then.
She manages a smile, but it's thin-lipped and doesn't reach her eyes.
He nods, taking what he can get and decides not to push her further as she would do for him. He chuckles then, a thought crosses his mind, and it's mumbled out there before he can think it over. "Not how I imagined meeting your parents."
Her brows knit together and she turns to look up at him. "You imagined meeting my parents?" Her question just as soft as his admission, but it's there.
He tenses for a second, catching his breath as he thinks over an answer that makes sense. That justifies him having said that without saying more, he shrugs then. "We're friends so; I don't know, a birthday party. Your graduation or when I'll be your best man at your wedding."
She laughs then, loudly, and she shakes her head before she gives him a more severe look. "What if I want you to be my bridesmaid?"
He rolls his eyes and averts his gaze, a barely-there 'shut up' filling the space between them.
The dinner that follows can only is godawful. From the odd conversations going around, the piece of shrimp Harvey somehow manages to spit in the back of her mother's hair to Aaron who decided to sit in between Harvey and her. Subjecting both of the college students to questions left and right; neither can talk to one another as the happy couple chatted away over the table.
And in the midst of all that, things they no doubt will laugh over in the weeks and years to come, the one thing that sticks out the most is when her mother pulls her aside and tells her she needs to hold on to Harvey.
An objection is on the tip of her tongue, but her mother tilts her head to the side. Knowing enough, and not needing an explanation but the nod she adds to it only pushing the importance of the earlier statement.
.
.
June 21, 2016
"Crap."
His voice breaking the silence has her perk up, glancing over she frowns a little as she studies him. His eyes still glued to the phone in hand, she can't decipher where his outburst came from, and thus she asks. "What?"
"Marcus is coming."
She turns to look at him fully then, closing her book as she shifts over her seat. "Your brother?"
Harvey hums in agreement, his gaze still locked down, and his fingers continue to type a reply to the message that triggered the conversation.
"What's he like?" she asks then, she's heard him drop the name a handful of times. Mostly in passing to Mike; to her understanding, the guys all know each other. She, however, doesn't know much about the eighteen-year-old.
"A dickhead."
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "Sounds familiar."
That remark is what gets his attention and he drops his phone on the table, finally looking up to meet her eyes. A playful smirk graces her face, and he presses his lips into a thin line as he shakes his head in disapproval.
"Why is he coming?"
"A baseball game," he answers. "Why are you so interested in my brother?"
She shrugs, she isn't really, but it's a rare occasion that he mentions Marcus, and she does wonder about the relationship they have. "Nothing," she reasons. "You just don't talk about your family often, that's all."
"You don't either."
"I'm not the topic of this conversation."
He rolls his eyes. "Fine," he mutters. "We're from Boston, Marcus is three years younger, and he lives with my dad. He's a musician."
She bobs her head up and down, remembers him telling about his father way back. She also notices how he doesn't speak of his mother. Never has before but she figures it is for a reason and the library isn't the location to press for answers. Not that she would have gotten the chance if she wanted to as he speaks again.
"Do you have any siblings I need to know about."
She purses her lips and nods. "One," she says. "A sister, but she's much older," the answer finished with a shrug. "Anyway, enough about me. Aren't you happy to see your brother?"
He shrugs, leaving the answer nor here nor there.
"He plays baseball too?" she asks next. She knows about his history with the sport, but he still likes to play ball, now and then hitting the batting cages and with a drink too many grand stories always follow.
"Got him into it." He nods.
She shifts over her chair, bobs her head to the right. "Then what's the problem?" she asks with a hushed voice, remembering they're in the public library.
He sighs once and glances down at his books on the table. "They're a man short, so he asked me to fill in," he answers, his gaze finding hers again. In them, he finds a follow-up question, but he explains before she gets a chance to speak. "And I haven't been on the field since my shoulder."
She takes in his words, and she knows he's speaking the truth, but she also knows their university's team hasn't played on the varsity level since the seventies and even with an old injury he should be good enough for a friendly match. "Harvey," she whispers, deciding to tell him exactly that. "I know you like to brag but if I know you and I think I do, you never really brag about baseball do I believe it when you said you were about to go pro."
He exhales slowly and keeps his eyes locked with hers.
"I bet you could still hit a thumbtack with a can opener."
He chuckles at that, her suggestion breaking the tension, and he shakes his head. Adjusting his position on his seat, he shakes his head. "What?"
"You get the point," she says.
He hums, then smiles.
"It will be good to reconnect with a sport you loved so much."
He thanks her, reaches for his book and stuffs it in his bag. He signals for her to do the same with a bob of his head, and it's only when they exit the library that he thinks over her words again and he chuckles once more. "Really? A can opener? Where the hell did that come from?"
She snickers over his sudden rehash of their earlier conversation and shrugs at last. "I don't know," she admits with a shake of her head. Not sure where the analogy came from, but she stands by it. "But you could," she assures him. "I'm sure."
"I'm sure I can't."
She tilts her head to the side, shooting him a look that tells him she doesn't agree. He does the same - telling her she is wrong without any words; the silent conversation eventually forgotten and not mentioned again.
Until it is the day of the game.
.
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June 25, 2016
"Yeah, yeah," he groans, running a hand through his damp hair as he trudges through the living room when the banging on the front door continues. "I'm coming," he yells louder then, pausing right in front of the door, and pulling it open in one swift motion. His face is resembling thunder as he expects his brother to stand before him, and it falters the second he lays eyes on her ginger manes. "Donna?"
"That would be me yes," she deadpans. "You, however," she signals Harvey with a wave of her hand as she eyes him up and down. "Why aren't you ready yet?"
He groans and pushes the door further open as he turns around to walk back to his room. "I was just …" he starts, but he doesn't finish his sentence as he grabs his sweater and pulls it over his head. "Why are you here? And where – "
"Marcus is at the field, and your dad is waiting outside," she fills in for him and then brings her hands from behind her back and shows him the content in them. "And I'm here because of this."
He eyes the can opener and the box of thumbtacks in the palm of her hand, he rolls his eyes next.
"Do it," she says, extending her hands and urging him to take them.
He wants to say no, badly. The entire scenario Donna sketched awaiting disaster to happen, but it's the look on her face that tells him he's not getting out of this without having tried and thus he caves. "Fine," he grumbles, grabbing one of the thumbtacks from the box and the can opener with his other hand.
He shoots her one more look, one that tells her he's about to prove her wrong, but he makes the motions all the same. Throwing the red pin in the air with his left hand and making the swing with his right, leaving both of them speechless when the can opener hits the small metal object mid-air and propels to the other side of the room.
"Ooh my god." Her words barely above a whisper and he could swear he was the one saying it, but he can only laugh. So deep and loud, it feels like it comes from the tip of his toes. So affectionate she laughs too.
"I told you," she says in between breaths, her hand finding his shoulder for the briefest of seconds but it's enough for him to turn in her direction. She's closer than he expected her to be and his rebuttal follows a second later than it should have come.
"You didn't believe I could do it either."
He's right, deep down she knows he is, but she isn't willing to admit it so readily or at all for that matter. She shakes her head slightly and tugs on her bottom lip. "Well," she says then, crossing her arms and standing a little taller. "I had faith in you. Have – " she corrects quickly.
And with that the playful banter fades into something neither is able or willing to identify, yet know it isn't up for discussion, put aside over so many different occasions one might wonder if it was once there. Still, the palpable tension between them says enough.
"You're uhm …" she breaks the silence, taking a step back and averts her gaze. She clenches onto the box of thumbtacks, letting her other hand run over the fabric of her dress. "You're running late."
"Right. Yeah." He turns around and exhales deeply. Clearing his mind, he quickly grabs the sports bag from the foot of his bed. Swinging the handle over his shoulder, Harvey runs a hand through his hair once more as he searches around the room for his keys. He finds them dangling down from her index finger as he passes her. "Thanks," he says, continuing his path and Donna follows him. "Marcus is?"
"At the game, your dad is downstairs."
The small talk does nothing to ease the tension. The five-story trip down shared in silence and a perpetual two-step distance between the two best friends. It's when they push through the door on the ground floor and find themselves in front of a familiar face neither can wait to speak, and they stumble over the greetings at the same time.
It's Gordon who takes the lead, stepping forward and greeting his son in a quick hug — asking his oldest if he's ready for the game. The yes that follows sounding more confident than he feels, but he doesn't want his father to worry. He realises then, as the three of them walk towards the park on the other side of the block that he hasn't precisely introduced his best friend yet.
"Ooh dad, this is – "
"Donna, I know," the musician fills in for both of them. Flashing a grin at the redhead he'd met earlier. He teases his son about at least one of them know how to introduce themselves, and he wishes him good luck when Harvey tells the two of them he's going to look for Marcus.
Gordon watches his son walk away, turning to face the redhead next to him at last. He smiles at her again, signalling the bleachers on their left with his hand he silently asks his son's friend to join him. "Thank you," he says when he sits down next to her.
Donna glances at Gordon over her right shoulder, a frown settling between her brows as she watches the familiar eyes on an older face. "Why?"
"For convincing Harvey to play again."
She's taken by surprise by Gordon's answer, not just his ability to guess it but the sincerity she finds in them. She shakes her head slowly. A motion on autopilot because she doesn't want to take the credit; it's his son who chose to play today.
He watches the confusion wash over the young girl's face, no doubt wondering how he knew she had any role in Harvey's appearance on the field today. He can practically see the question written in her eyes, but he doesn't have an answer he considers being able to voice. Instead, he merely shrugs, and it's enough to convey the message all the same. "So, Donna," he says then, "tell me more about you. You don't study law, right?"
She grins and shakes her head. It's not uncommon for people to think she does, most of her friends are in that field, but she's always been an odd one out. "Acting," she answers with a bright smile. Her passion for the profession is becoming more apparent with every word she shares about it. "We just wrapped production of The Wild Party. Did you know Harvey came to see me on the closing night?"
"Ooh, Queenie," Gordon answers instantly.
Donna beams at the recognition. "Did he tell you?"
Gordon chuckles but shakes his head. "I doubt he remembers a single name of the characters," Gordon says, "but I have the record. There are a few different parts for the saxophone in there, so."
The redhead hums. "Ooh yeah, Harvey told me you're a musician."
"If he weren't on the field, he´d visit me in the studio," Gordon reveals. "I'm sure he loves the law, but baseball and music. Those were his passions as a kid." He chuckles then to himself as he recalls a particular moment, he catches the redhead's questioning gaze and decides to share.
"One time, in the middle of a dinner party, he climbed up the piano and started singing."
"He –"
Gordon bobs his head up and down. "Yeah. He was six years old, I believe. Complete chaos, the only thing I could do was grab my sax and give him back up."
Donna grins at the image Harvey's father sketches of the six-year-old version of the man she knows, she then thinks of him now. And while he's talked about his dad's music from time to time, always proudly, she's not once heard him sing. "I didn't know he could sing."
"He can't," Gordon fires back instantly, making both of them laugh and a comfortable silence falls between them as they watch the young men walk onto the field at the beginning of the game. There are few people to cheer along at the game, but the Specters are represented, and Gordon watches in joy as the redhead beside him shouts his oldest son name when he hits a home run. Gordon joins her then, standing up and cheering too. The last game his son played one he missed because of tours, and he has regretted it ever since he glances at the redhead again. He is smiling to himself once more and silently thanking her yet again for giving him this opportunity.
Marcus' team is three points ahead by the eighth inning, and the game is as good as won. The conversation between the young actress and himself flowing smoothly, he's told her plenty of stories about his son. Much to her amusement and he's confident his oldest will complain about it later, but he doesn't care. She's told him about their time in college, their mutual friends and how they met.
That's the first thing that has Gordon wonder; it's not that Harvey ever let him in on any details of how they met. He can't help but feel that something doesn't add up, but he can't quite put his finger onto what that should be. He does realise something else, and the chuckle that follows the realisation doesn't go unnoticed to the redhead.
"What?" she whispers.
Gordon shrugs and smiles, taking a moment to find the words. "Nothing," he starts. "I just… I guess people wonder how the two of you get along so well, having such different studies and interests." He pauses for a moment, taking in the questions written on her face. No doubt about his son still being in contact with him all the time, listening to his music.
"Lily," he pauses when he sees the redhead's brows draw together in confusion and he realises at that moment Harvey's never spoken of her before. "His mother. She's a painter." He stops and smiles. "He might have gone to the studio with me whenever he could, but the truth is I was on tour most days, and it's his mother he used to watch paint for hours upon hours. Doing his homework by her side as she finished another piece. Ever since the divorce, he hasn't – "
Pressing his lips into a thin line, Gordon stops there. Wondering if he hadn't said too much already. "Anyway, I'm … I'm just glad that amid all those boring law douches he bonded with you. That he still has a connection to the arts, even If it's not at home."
She takes a deep breath and smiles, softly, because she doesn't know what to say to that.
It's the cheering and yelling coming from the field that has her look ahead again, and she realises then the game has ended. Marcus's team winning thanks to Harvey's efforts, she stands proudly then. Clapping along as she watches her best friend return to the bleachers, this time with his brother in tow. The younger man a spitting image of their father, all three of them possessing the grin she crew so accustomed too in the past year.
Congratulations and high fives are shared, and it's Harvey this time around introducing his younger brother to the redhead. Flashing a smile to his father as he does so, Marcus' reaction, however, is different from their father's and because of that, way more telling.
"So you're the gorgeous girl my brother keeps talking about," the eighteen-year-old counters, shaking Donna's hand as he speaks. Marcus' words result in a wide-eyed look from the subject of his remark, Donna, a pointed look from his brother, and a snicker from his father.
Donna opens her mouth and closes it instantly, not sure what to say to that. She does glance at Harvey, giving him a curious look, but she watches him roll his eyes and sigh at his brother's antics.
"I may have mentioned your existence once," he states at last.
"A day," Marcus says.
She chuckles at that, but she doesn't turn to look at Harvey this time around who tries his best to act normal. Both motions that don't go unnoticed to Gordon who studies them with peaked interest. When his eye catches his oldest son, the twenty-one-year-old shakes his head and looks away. Gordon sighs softly but doesn't comment, suggesting instead the four of them grab a drink to celebrate the win.
Marcus is the first one to agree to the celebration, linking his arm with his brother's best friend and stealing her away under the pretence to spend time with the more interesting Specter brother. The redhead merely chuckles as she walks along, but she can't help but tell him his brother has set a very high bar.
.
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June 30, 2016
"You're going to kill it," Donna reassures Rachel as she pulls back from the hug she shared with her roommate. Letting her hands rest on the brunette's shoulders, she squeezes them once and nods, emphasising her earlier statement. She makes sure she's looking her friend in the eye when she speaks again. "Everyone and Bratton and Gould are going to want to hire you and not… What's his -"
"Logan."
Donna peeks over her shoulder at the blond. She doesn't miss the look of disgust on Mike's face or the nod she sees shared between the three male roommates. She doesn't know the reason for the exchange, and she doesn't need to details to figure out something once went on between Logan and Rachel.
She presses her lips into a thin line and faces the brunette again, giving her a brighter smile this time around. She tells her once more everything will be fine and that she will have the best time during her internship.
"Thank you," Rachel whispers, pulling her friend in for another hug. "You two, promise me you'll call me when you've arrived."
"It's just Connecticut not the other side of the world, Rach," Donna laughs softly. "But I'll call you as soon as I get there and then every day."
Rachel nods and let's go, at last, allowing the redhead to move along the rest of their group of friends. She watches Donna share the same goodbye with her boyfriend. Katrina, Brian and Tanner next. Rachel looks around the group and eyes Harvey at the end of the row. Shares a knowing smile with him, but he doesn't engage.
Donna turns around again, now facing him and she stays silent then. Not quite knowing which words to use or what gestures are fitting to say goodbye. Everyone else in the room had gotten a hug, half of them just acquaintances; friends at most. Yet the gesture had come naturally and without hesitation, but he's her best friend, and she freezes.
He swallows once, feels the eyes of their friends on them. More pressure added to an already loaded moment; one that marks more than ever how with her things are different. She's his best friend, and yet any gesture that should be the most normal thing in the world feels off-limits when it comes to her.
He wouldn't change it for the world, though.
Coughing once, he lifts her suitcase in both of his hand. The gesture enough to break the trance and he flashes her a smile when she takes it from him. He ignores the tingling of his fingers when hers brush against his, using words, jokes instead to bring them back to them.
"You think you got time to call me too?"
"Always."
.
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August 15, 2016
Dragging his feet, he enters the pub. The day, or week for that matter, was exhausting to him and stepping into a crowded place like this usually would have further fuelled his aggregation. It is the ginger manes he spots at the bar in the back that make it all worth it.
He had come here to meet her, snuck out of his house.
The situation between Mike and Rachel taking a toll on the four of them and it resulted in him being unable to hang out with his best friend. Mike had demanded he´d pick his side and Rachel had been Donna´s friend long before they even met, but with the separated couple at odds, it meant each had a side to stay on even when they didn´t want to.
So here he is, nine p.m. on a Wednesday night in a crowded bar because he couldn't stand it anymore. He missed her even.
Pulling on the edge of his sleeve, he runs a hand through his damp hair before taking off the garment and dropping it over the barstool next to the free one on her left. He plops down on it then, signalling the bartender for a refill of whatever she was having plus another.
"Hey," her greeting sounds tired, and in it, he hears she is just as fed up with the situation as he is. He glances to his right then, his gaze locking with hers at last and he nods, silently acknowledging her. He reaches for the glass of scotch the bartender placed in front of him. A motion she mirrors, and they bring their drinks together in a toast; on what they aren't sure, but at least it's a night away from the drama.
"He still doesn't want to talk to her?" Donna asks, breaking the silence after a minute.
Harvey takes another sip from his drink before he speaks. "No." It's the truth, as hard as it may be and he frowns then, thinking over his answer; Mike's behaviour and just how he'd gotten to know his roommate these last two years. "I mean," he mumbles then, shrugging once and he turns to look at Donna once more. "I don't know; I guess he hasn't forgiven her yet."
She purses her lips and nods; she understands it, she really does, but she can't help but stick up for the brunette too. Convey her message again. "It was a mistake."
"She cheated on him."
"It didn't mean anything," she repeats the words Rachel had uttered over and over again.
He shakes his head, averts his gaze and downs the remainder of his drink. "Still," he says with a sigh, dropping the empty tumbler back on the counter with a loud thud. The motion followed by him pushing himself to his feet.
She watches his reaction and swallows; this wasn't supposed to happen. This night wasn't supposed to be about the drama, and yet it only seems to be. About their friends - maybe even so much more, but she can't put her finger on that.
"Harvey," she all but whispers his name. The ghost of her touch hovering over his arm but she doesn't pull through.
He stalls though, the unsettling feeling that started to bottle up in the pit of his stomach subsiding by the pure sound of her voice. He turns to look at Donna again.
She managed to find them another refill in those twelve seconds and silently slides a glass in his direction. A peace offering to whatever it was that upset him. She raises it again, keeping her gaze locked on his as she speaks.
"To being single."
It's a half-hearted joke about the situation. The drama neither of them has to live through directly. "No drama," she adds with a soft smile when he frowns ever so slightly.
"I don't ever want that."
His words take her by surprise, and she automatically repeats her last words. "No drama?"
He shrugs and shakes his head at first but then nods. There's so much to say; to unpack and Harvey has no clue where or how to start telling her. He surprises Donna and himself when the words do fall out. "My mom… She cheated on my dad."
Her lips part and an inaudible gasp escape her. She thought, had felt even, that something was going on, but hearing confirmation of her suspicions still surprises her. And when it would have come from anyone else, she'd know what to say, but with Harvey, it's different. It's challenging, and she can only mutter his name. "Harvey."
It's softer this time, but it conveys everything he needs to hear, and he sinks back down on the barstool. Gaze locked in on the alcohol he leans on his elbows. Swallowing thickly, he takes a moment before speaking again.
"I knew it, and she made me keep it a secret."
She watches him, words lacking because she genuinely doesn't know what to say. It wasn't his fault, but she knows deep down he knows that but adding it would be redundant because he wouldn't allow himself to believe it anyway.
She exhales deeply, finding solace in the glass of auburn liquid in front of her. The alcohol warming her and she revels in the silence, the unspoken moments for a few seconds. Letting the glass swivel in her hand, she peeks at her best friend again, reminding herself of his earlier words; about him not wanting it.
"So," she says, already knowing the answer but she can't help but ask. "No relationship for you?"
He shakes his head and lifts the glass to his lips to finish his second glass of scotch. "Never."
.
.
.
.
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Sunday, December 2nd 2018
"Hey."
"Hey."
She halts on her spot, breath hitching in the back of her throat. Her eyes scan his face for the briefest of seconds before she looks away, taking a careful step back and increasing the distance between them, but the tension grows along with that.
She doesn't know what to say, where to look, or what to do. Fidgeting, she plays with the hen of her shirt, feet now moving up and down as she rocks back and forth on the spot. She wants to avoid this, him, but she doesn't know how to do that.
It's when she hears his exhale and notices his lips part from the corner of her eye that she speaks — beating him to it but only to keep herself in charge and because she can't find the words, she gives herself an out.
"Going for a run," it is just four words, delivers with a nervous shrug and a mere glance. Donna doesn't wait for Harvey's answer, the awkwardness too much she forces herself out of the way, taking two steps down at one go; she passes him until she's on the street. Her pace is increasing with every step until she runs. Away from him, away from her feelings.
He swallows in whatever it was he was going to say, and he doesn't even know what that would have been. Instead, Harvey turns around on his spot; letting his gaze follow Donna's red manes down the street until she disappears around a corner in the distance.
He sighs then, a shiver running down his spine as the chilly November air brushes past his frame. He runs a hand over his arm, and through his hair next. That's followed by another exhale, and he wonders what it is; what caused her reaction.
If he pushed it too far the previous night?
He fears he might, and his gaze lowers. But Donna played along, his mind tells him then. He breathes again, looks up and down the street, but he doesn't see her anywhere. Another shiver runs down his spine, and he shrugs then, pushing his thoughts aside because, in the end, it was all for show anyway.
.
Her hands fall to her knees, backbend and head low. She exhales once more, hand finding the railing on the landing as she tries to find her balance. She's out of breath, tired from her run but she is still as confused as to when she left, and in spite of the confusion she still feels, Donna feels regret too. For the way she acted towards him, he's still her best friend after all.
Her head tilts to the side, glancing up the staircase. She can't see him, let alone his floor but he's on her mind all the same. She rocks back and forth on her spot, takes two steps forward until her foot hits the first step up.
She stalls then, inhaling profoundly and contemplating her actions. A part of her wants to walk another three flights of stairs and have it out with Harvey; the other part has no clue what to say.
The control freak side of her wins the internal battle; Donna shifts her weight and comes down onto the landing again. It takes another tap of her hand on the balustrade for the redhead to turn around, and she makes her way back to apartment 206.
There is another conversation pending, and this is the one she really can't escape.
.
.
"Naha," Donna shakes her head, looks away and reaches for the cup of hot chocolate from the table. Hugging the mug with both of her hands, she tests the content with her lips but doesn't take a sip when her eyes catch Rachel's curious ones again. "I'm not answering that."
"Ooh come on," the brunette wines, pulling her leg up onto the couch and shifting so she's sitting right in front of the redhead. "I told you," Rachel reasons, referring to the time Donna asked her, as she likes to name it, the most important emotional question.
"So?" Donna fires back. It's a weak attempt, and she knows it. Drawing her bottom lip between her teeth, Donna racks her brain for a way out of a conversation she had anticipated days ahead. The redhead even knows the answer because of that conversation; and yet, even if telling it would be just acting, it feels too weird to share this particular detail.
"Wouldn't it be weird for you, you hang out with him all the time too."
Rachel thinks about it for a moment, then shakes her head. "Same for you with Mike."
Her mouth drops a little as an instant rebuttal lacks; she remembers the timing then. "You told me before I truly got to know Mike."
The law student bobs her head up and down in agreement, taps her fingers on the back of the couch as she studies her friend's expression. It's not that she needs to know, and the redhead is right. It would be slightly awkward to know about your boyfriend's roommate; Your classmate. But it isn't easy to get Donna worked up, and she likes the tease. "You told me Mark's, though."
Donna glances down at the cup in her hands, drawing in a deep breath she pushes away the memories of her ex. The conversation Rachel is referring to in particular, and she swallows then. "And look where that got us," she reasons, taking a sip of the hot chocolate at last.
"So you're scared of things ending with Harvey if you tell me how big his dick is?"
She nearly chokes on her drink, a couch or two following and a bit of the hot beverage spills over the edge as she does so. Turning around the reaches forward to place the cup aside, bringing her free hand to her mouth, she coughs again as she tries to regain her composure.
"I'm – " She says, pausing right after she starts her sentence and Donna thinks over how to answer the question for a moment then. The answer, in the end, is simple, because ending things with Harvey is the sole reason they started. And she already knows when it will happen - meaning nothing now and nothing then, so she shakes her head. "I'm not scared of thing ending with Harvey."
Rachel squeals for the umpteenth time that afternoon, the smile spreading over her face due to the confidence her friend's answer came with, and she flings her arms around the redhead's frame as she pulls the redhead in for a hug out of happiness. "What do you say we celebrate this by getting out for a drink," she suggests a few seconds later.
Donna moves over the couch, her lower stomach aching as she does so and her face winces in discomfort, but Rachel reads her look for something else.
"I know you want to be with Harvey but just one more girls night, just the two of us."
Donna freezes on her spot for a moment, eyes wide as the words ring in her ears. Be with Harvey.
Rachel expects her to want to be with Harvey over her and that thought makes sense, she knows that. It's logical, and it's what's expected for people in a new relationship. She understands it all, and she wishes playing along and just admitting that was easy, but it isn't.
It terrifies her; being with Harvey.
"Ooh come on?" Rachel asks again.
She snaps out of her thoughts then, nodding as fast as she can. Grabbing the opportunity to spend a night with her roommate over him. "Yeah," she adds, getting up, trying her best not to sound too relieved. "That should be fun."
.
"Ooh my god."
Donna glances up from her glass to Rachel, eyes a little bewildered as she searches her friend's expression for an explanation to the sudden outburst. When she fails to find one, she asks. "What?"
Rachel bobs her head to the side, she gives Donna a knowing look and eventually signals up and down between the boxes and her ear, referencing to the song that started to play on the background. "It's your song."
"Wh – " She swallows in the rest of her question as she catches up with the tunes and the story she shared earlier that afternoon. The name of the song just the first thing that came to mind, having heard it on her running playlist that morning. "Ooh," she mutters then, forcing a smile to take over and she chuckles then. "Yes."
"I can't believe Harvey can dance."
Donna laughs genuinely now, shaking her head as she pictures it. She has had the pleasure to witness it. Once. And he is a decent dancer, but he doesn't enjoy it at all. "I couldn't either," she admits, grinning again and she stares at the shot glass in front of her once more.
"You couldn't what?"
The sudden appearance of his voice takes her by surprise, and she freezes on her spot, a shiver running down her spine as she slowly turns to look up at the familiar brown eyes.
"That you could dance to this," Rachel fills in as she motions for the two guys to sit down on the other half of the booth. She greets Mike with a smile as she watches him slide down the booth first; coming to sit in front of Donna.
Mike's eyes widen, and his mouth drops as he takes in the song, gaze flickering up and down between the redhead and his roommate. He looks at Harvey as he speaks. "Can't wait to tell Tanner."
"Okay, Gossip Girl, calm down," Harvey fires back, and he sits down, at last, his gaze automatically finding Donna's and she shifts ever so slightly. She is fighting the unease that settles in the pit of her stomach. She averts her gaze and picks up the tequila in front of her, downing it in one go.
Harvey watches her reaction and swallows once, but keeps quiet out of fear to say the wrong thing. The conversation that follows is mostly between the official couple, the two best friends just stealing glances at one another over time and answering any direct questions, but it does nothing to ease the tension.
Harvey exhales then, can't handle the way Donna is ignoring him anymore and pushes himself to stand then. "Drinks?" He half asks, hale announces, signalling Mike first, Rachel next until his gaze lands on his girlfriend. "Manhattan?"
Donna nods on autopilot when he asks if she wants her favourite drink, it's when she watches him make his way to the bar that the question fully sinks in and that she starts to wonder. Did he always know that?
Her pondering is interrupted when Rachel excuses herself, asking her boyfriend to watch her purse as she goes to the bathroom. And even though Rachel directed the question at Mike, Donna nods too.
She turns to look ahead again, facing Mike this time and she gives him a small smile. She's spent plenty of time with him before, but never in the role she is playing now and suddenly being alone with Mike is just as terrifying as being alone with Harvey is.
"I'm happy for you," Mike tells her then.
She knew a comment would come, it was inevitable, and yet it still isn't easy. Lying to their closest friends, but it's what they agreed upon; there's no way back now. She smiles again, brighter this time around and she nods. "Thanks, Mike, I am too," she answers and strangely she almost believes it too.
"More for Harvey though."
That makes her laugh, and she rolls her eyes. Shifting over her seat to the edge of the leather booth, she places both her elbows on the table in between them, and she leans forward. "And why's that?"
"Because he has had a crush on you since the day he saw you move in," Mike answers, revealing something Harvey never explicitly told him but he knows his friend. Mike also knows that if he said it in front of Harvey, he wouldn't live to see another day, but now that they're together he wants her to know.
His confession leaves her speechless and her lips part ever so slightly. "Wh-" Donna mutters as she tries to wrap her brain around what Mike just told her, but she doesn't get to ask the question she wouldn't even have been able to pronounce as Rachel arrives at the table again and takes the seat next to her boyfriend this time. Her hand automatically finding Mike's that's resting on the table, giving it a soft squeeze and she eyes her friend again.
"Can you believe it?" Rachel asks to no one in particular, and Mike grins. "As happy as I am for you, Don, you did cost me twenty bucks now."
That has her find her voice again, eyes scanning her friend with newfound curiosity. "There was a bet?"
The pair nods, but it's Mike who speaks. "I said Thanksgiving," he admits with a wide grin, "she said New Year's."
Donna bites on her tongue and shakes her head. Faking disapproval, but it only justifies the reason behind them doing this if even their roommates believed them to get together. "Unbelievable, you two."
"You just figured that out?" Harvey's voice comes next as he slides a tray with four drinks on the table. He gives her a wide grin, and she bites down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from mirroring his expression.
"They had a bet," Donna announces as he sits down next to her and his expression changes from smug, to confused to amused at last.
"Whatever you won, you owe me," he announces to Mike, placing the glass of beer in front of him and Donna takes the glass from his hand. Her fingers brush against his as she does so, their eyes meet, and she smiles softly, reassuringly.
Harvey pulls his hand away first, balling it into a fist and bringing it under the table to rest on his thigh, letting it flatten out over his knee. A gesture that should have remained hidden, it doesn't go unnoticed to Donna, and she covers his hand with hers, giving it a soft squeeze as he looks at her. Silently telling him they can do this, they'll be fine. He smiles too then, letting his thumb run over hers, telling her the same thing.
Rachel witnesses the tiny exchange that included no acting at all. "Look at them," Rachel's voice breaks the silence, and that has Donna and Harvey momentarily freak out, automatically creating more distance between them yet wondering if that reaction didn't blow their cover after all.
Rachel's hand finds Mike's again over the table, letting her digits slip between his she gives him a gentle pull on his side to get his attention. When her eyes lock with those of her boyfriend, she speaks. "Shall we go?"
The brunette's question takes Mike off guard and frown settles between his brows as he moves his gaze from her to the other couple and back to his girlfriend. The four of them having a great time, the evening still relatively young he doesn´t immediately understand the reasoning for her suggestion.
Rachel doesn´t wait for his rebuttal, merely bobs her head to the side. Acknowledging their friends with the motion and she gives him a look that tells him she wants to give Donna and Harvey some time to themselves. Flashing a smile at the new couple, she slides over the leather seat and pushes herself to stand.
When Mike still doesn't follow her, she flashes him a more pointed look this time. "We could do that thing you talked about?"
Mike's interest peaks and he too now gets out of the booth. "Sorry, got to go."
Donna bites down on her tongue and shakes her head as she shares a knowing look with Rachel; all the while pretending she is glad the brunette is giving her some private time with her boyfriend. Reality is different though, but the actress in her has her get up too and share her goodbyes.
She sits back down after the two law students have left the establishment. Except, this time it's on the other side of the booth, sitting opposite of Harvey and increasing the distance between them.
Harvey watches her sit down again, the distance between them understandable. It's just them; there's no need to pretend. It's a rule even and yet, he swallows. He misses her closeness, the brush of hands that isn't supposed to mean anything, and yet he yearns for her touch, her warmth, her comfort.
Donna taps her fingers on the table in an irregular rhythm to busy herself; to occupy her hands and her thoughts as she racks her brain on what to say to Harvey — the usually comfortable silence between them beginning to feel loaded as seconds pass.
Harvey watches her motions, the way she avoids his gaze and how his usually chatty best friend can't find any words to fling in his direction. He sighs, lets his gaze hang low and musters up the courage to break the tension. Silently begging for a waiter to show up at their table, and when one does, their reactions are simultaneous. Both are ordering the same two drinks in a beat while avoiding the other.
The waiter looks confused for a second, eventually asking if they both want two drinks or just two drinks in general.
"Two in total," Donna answers, her eyes finding Harvey's for a second and both chuckle at the way they reacted. But as quick as that relieve came, as quick is she to look down at her hands once over.
Harvey swallows away the rest of his smile, and he spots it again, the way she fidgets and avoids his gaze. Typically he wouldn't search for a reason behind her behaviour, the elusive Donna Paulsen too big a mystery for him to figure out or even begin to grasp but this time he has a good idea what it is that has her so worked up. The deal they made, the question he asked her, and he considers it his responsibility to bite the bullet and voice it.
"Do you regret it?" he asks, tilting his head to the side as he watches her lift hers. Her gaze is searching for his, and he motions up and down between the two of them. "Us. This. Agreeing to do this?"
As hard as it is, as terrifying as it is to be alone with him, she can't say that she does and thus she shakes her head. Slowly and almost unnoticeable, but it is there. "No, I do not," she says, "it's just a bit more difficult than my usual roles. That's all."
Her answer makes him wonder what that means, but he doesn´t get a chance to ask her when the waiter returns with their drinks. He pays for both of them, sliding one of the beers in her direction and holding onto the other himself. He raises it then, waiting for her to do the same. "Here's to the first double date we survived."
She laughs at that, letting her glass cling against Harvey's before she takes a sip of the cold brew, revelling in the taste and she lets out a pleased sigh. "Yeah, glad we got that out of the way," she admits.
"How did your reunion with Rachel go?"
"Exactly like I expected it to," she says.
He bobs his head up and down as he thinks it over, remembering the picture she sketched the day before. "So what did you tell her?"
She glances up at him again, sees the glint of curiosity in his eyes, and she knows exactly what he's referring too. She grins then, a little mischievous and she lets him sweat it out for a few seconds before putting him out of his misery. "What we agreed upon."
He nods slowly, but he doesn't dare to ask how many of the details the story included. Instead, Harvey brings the glass of beer to his lips again.
"How did it go with Mike and Tanner?"
"Tanner isn't back yet. And Mike – " he pauses to shrug, tilts his head to the side and his look already tells her everything she needs to know. "He wouldn't shut up about it."
She chuckles lightly, briefly shaking her head at the picture he sketched. It sounds exactly like their friend, and she isn't surprised in the slightest.
He watches her, notices by her absentminded gaze that her mind has drifted off to somewhere and he allows himself to do the same. Thinking about the story they created for themselves, the details they agreed upon and the reaction their friends gave to it. He realises something then. "I'm glad this is the story we came up with."
"What do you mean?" she asks, Harvey's admission surprising her.
"Well," Harvey starts, pausing immediately after as he doesn't know why or what other situation would have fitted and he makes up his mind as he starts speaking again. "I guess you could've told them I tried ridiculous pick-up lines on you or something."
"And let them believe I'd fall for that," she counters with a laugh, and she shakes her head. "But if I'm not mistaken, and I never am, you did exactly that when we met, mister."
He rolls his eyes and hides his grin. Donna might have thought it was pick-up lines; he remembers telling her the truth until he realised she didn't believe him or pretended not to believe him so she wouldn't have to let him down. He swallows then, doesn't allow himself to think of a night that meant everything to him but nothing to her, and he focuses on his drink again. Finishing the remainder in one go, he catches a glimpse of the time on the clock behind the bar.
"Alright, Paulsen," he says then, getting up. "Let's go."
She finishes her drink and gets up as well. She takes the coat Harvey hands over to her from his side of the booth and the redhead thanks him with a small smile.
The walk back home in comfortable silence, one neither of them had managed to feel in the days before; it, however, becoming painfully noticeable when they reach the second floor and stall in front of her door.
Goodbyes have never been a particular thing, this time it's a fake boyfriend looking at his fake girlfriend. Wondering what to say or do before he leaves her be. It's a small smile, a glance down, a near chuckle, and at last, a goodnight before she disappears inside of her apartment. And Harvey makes his way up to the fifth floor contemplating whether or not fake dating his best friend was a good idea.
.
Monday, December 3rd, 2018
Yawning, he runs his hand over his face. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes before his hand moves through his unruly hair. Fixing it just so before Harvey makes his way out of his room; in need for his first coffee of the day that Monday morning.
"Harvey?"
He comes to an instant halt when he hears his name. Still half asleep, he blinks twice and opens his eyes fully then, only to find himself face to face with Rachel. The sight or running into her in the mornings not uncommon over the years, the way she pronounced his name is though, and he frowns for a good second. "Zane," he says then.
"Why are you here?"
"I live here," he counters. His answer delivered so quickly he didn't even get the chance to wonder what resulted in her question.
And exasperated sigh leaves Rachel's lips before she chuckles, shaking her head. "I know that," she says. "It's just… Why aren't you with Donna. You two just getting together, we figured –"
He watches her shrug, and it takes everything in his power not to verbalise a response when it finally clicks. She expected him to have slept at Donna's. "Yeah," he mumbles, couching once to find his voice. "She uhm… she wasn't feeling well, so."
"It's not just sex, Harvey," Rachel calls him out on not being there for her friend. "I know you're not familiar with being in a relationship, but you could also just be there for her. Hold her, take care of her. Especially if she isn't feeling well."
"I know."
Rachel registers a tone in his voice she hadn't heard often, and it dawns on her then, that he wasn't here by his choice. "She told you to go."
It's a conclusion to something that didn't happen, but the brunette hands him an escape, and he willingly takes it. Nodding slowly, but regrettably, for the lie he feeds.
Rachel takes in his reaction, she tries her best to hide her disappointment in her roommate, but she also knows where the redhead is coming from and what she's been through. "Just so you know," she says," she isn't all that familiar with a good relationship either, so don't let her push you away, okay?"
"Okay," he agrees, making his way over to the kitchen at last.
"Ooh, and Harvey," Rachel continues as she turns around to face him again. "If you hurt her, I'll have Samantha kick your ass."
He chuckles at that; appreciates her protective side towards his best friend but considers the inclusion of her sister the funniest even though he's confident the blonde would be able to do precisely that.
"Never," he tells her then.
.
She drops her script at the sudden knocking sound coming from the living room. It's once, twice, three times and any question as to who could be in front of her apartment door has disappeared before she even rolls around and gets up. She flicks on a light in the living room, fixes her robe and crosses the hallway to the door. His name is already on the tip of her tongue as she unlocks the door.
"Harvey."
He flashes her a smile, bobs his head to the side and pushes himself onto his feet. "Donna," he says.
She takes him in as he stands, her gaze fleetingly moving over his form. It eventually lands on his hand and the sports bag in it. In a moment of confusion, her eyes flicker back up to meet his. "What are you doing here?" she asks but stepping to the side all the same.
He swallows once and stands a little straighter as he walks inside. His explanation, not a conversation they can have in public but that doesn't make saying it any easier. "I uhm…" he pauses, dropping the bag on the couch as he turns to face Donna again. "I ran into Rachel this morning."
Donna acknowledges this with a nod. She realises what it implies, it's what they discussed upfront at his father's place, and yet it takes her by surprise. And because it does, her expression doesn't change much.
Something he reads as having to spell out the rest too. He bites down on his lip, exhales profoundly and then crosses his arms in front of his chest. "Rachel uhm… Rachel said she'd stay with Mike tonight to give us some space."
It sinks in then, everything she already knew and predicted upfront. It hits home, and her eyes widen, her lips pressed together in a slight nod and she finds herself nodding as she struggles to find an answer. The only word that leaves her lips being "fuck".
"Yeah," he agrees before offering to take the couch.
She tells him that isn't necessary and that they could just as easily share her bed. He considers her suggestion. On the one hand, it would result in a better night's sleep, on the other side, it would be crossing a line they agreed upon, and while it might be easy for her to do so and forget about it next, he rather not risk it at all.
"It's just us, so …"
She watches him shrug, an apologetic smile gracing his face as he lifts the throw blanket from the back of the couch and rearranges some of the pillows. It's then that she remembers the contract they both signed; that she made him sign. More than one rule broken already, his family knows. A holiday spend with them, a sleepover happened as well before the fake dating even started. One could argue that that means the rules technically weren't broken, but with him showing up at her doorstep like this means number eight has become void too.
It's only for the best if they uphold number two: We only pretend to be together when others are around.
"Right," she whispers as she rocks back and forth on her feet. Stealing a glance down at the floor, she takes a deep breath and then silently signals her bedroom with a flick of her wrist. "Goodnight, Harvey."
"Goodnight, Donna."
.
Tuesday, December 4th, 2018
He turns over a page in hit notebook, going over his notes once more. Tapping against the paper with his pen when he reaches a critical section, he adds a star next to it. The paragraph is not sticking out yet he thinks over his options, spotting a highlighter in her hand from the corner of his eye. He shifts a little and steals the hot pink marker.
"Hey," she mutters, giving him a look, and he merely smiles, uses it to outline the three sentences and hand it back over to her. Donna takes it back and immediately returns to her reading; Harvey, on the other hand, watches her for a moment. The way she studies, pen flicking between her fingers and her bottom lip drawn between her teeth as she goes over a passage. The way she wordlessly mouths the script, and he chuckles to himself.
Katrina looks up then, her gaze drifting over to the redhead and Harvey next to her. Her stare a moment too long, as her gaze meets Harvey's. She smiles and nods, then averts her gaze again to her book.
Harvey swallows, the interaction nothing out of the ordinary and yet he wonders if she knows. They didn't explicitly tell everyone in their circle, but it wasn't a secret either. Harvey realises that since the news of Donna and him being a couple has reached Mike and Rachel, everyone at the table is likely to know by now.
Mike, Rachel, Katrina, Brian, Dana, Harold and Louis.
Good. Harvey thinks, letting his gaze roam over the group again. In particular, the two couples sitting side by side and he studies their behaviour - the closeness between the pairs, the stolen touches and the whispers. Both couples have been together for over a year, and he wonders if one is even able to compare, and yet he wonders if their behaviour is sufficient or if they're giving it away.
He shifts on his seat, pulling the chair a little to the right with his feet as he does so, and he drops his right arm to the back of her chair. This gesture makes Donna look up at him for a moment, and he smiles but doesn't say anything. Instead, he pretends to focus on his work again.
Donna frowns and keeps her gaze on him for a moment. She studies him for a moment and then leans to her left, bringing her lips close to his ear. Her voice is hushed as she speaks. "Everything okay?"
He bobs his head up and down, angles his face to the right. The limited distance between them becoming even closer, his gaze locks with hers for a moment before he moves to whisper in her ear. "Yeah, they're falling for it."
She laughs softly and shakes her head. Donna glances to the table again, the couples sitting there and a brought back memory gives her an idea. Leaning forward, she places her hand on his shoulder, her lips even closer to his ear this time around. "Follow me," she says.
Harvey freezes on his spot, eyes darting over her face after her command. He watches her get up, the movement bringing her body close to his face and he leans back just enough to stare up at her. He drops the arm that still rested on her chair and let her pass, feeling her right-hand link with his as she moves and he blindly follows her.
The whispers that erupt at the table behind them don't go unnoticed, and he's pretty certain that's what it was for. It more or less confirmed when Donna's hand drops from his the second they're out the grand study hall, he can't help but ask where they're going.
She flashes him a smile, raises her shoulders and drops them again in a beat. She didn't have a plan, just a gesture to fire up the rumour mill in their favour. "Let's grab a coffee," Donna decides then, motioning to the stairs on their left.
He orders both of them a black coffee with two sugars and a splash of vanilla, and they enjoy the hot beverage in silence. Warming her hands on the paper cup, Donna watches people pass, and she swivels the last drop around before downing it. Donna waits for Harvey to finish his coffee too before she outstretches her hand, taking his empty cup from him and walking both of theirs to the bin.
When she returns to the bench they'd been sitting on; she stops right in front of him. Hands resting on her hips, she watches him for a moment, and when an idea hits her, a chuckle rolls off of her tongue. "Come here."
She watches him look up in confusion, but when he doesn't lean in, she takes another step in his direction. Bringing her hands to his hair, she slides one through his perfectly styled do to mess it up before he gets a chance to process what happens or protest to it.
She repeats the motion with her other hand, and as she does so, he tilts his head backwards, his gaze finding hers and for a second, they stare at each other. She's the one to snap out of it first, taking a step back and she checks the clock on the wall above the coffee bar.
"It's been five minutes, we can go back now," she reasons, flashing him a cheeky grin before starting to make her way back to the stairs.
"Really?" he calls after her, now having caught up with the message she was trying to convey. He pushes himself to stand and sprints after her.
"People talk, Harvey," she counters, reaching for his shirt as she walks next to him. She pulls on the fabric, one half slipping out of his pants and she undoes a top button.
That was once.
He thinks it but doesn't say it. The redhead's smile already too smug for his liking and he's not giving her any more ammunition to throw back at him later. For all he knows she's making it up at the spot, god, he hopes she is.
Instead, he tilts his head to the side and gives her mere look that says she's unbelievable.
She rolls her eyes and ignores his silent protest, walking ahead of him and waiting until the last possible second to mess up her hair just enough to notice for those paying attention. She tells him to grin, and he does as told, too scared to blow their cover now. Harvey rounds the table in the opposite direction as she does and he sits down on his spot - he rests his arm on the backrest once more when she's seated.
They stay there for another hour before Donna excuses herself, needing to get ready for rehearsal. She packs up her bag and places her hand on his shoulder, she squeezes once and smiles softly. A wordless goodbye as she lifts her coat from her chair and swings her bag pack over her shoulder.
"Wait," he mumbles. "I'll walk with you," he says, and he watches Donna nod in acknowledgement. Packing up his belongings, he watches her stroll ahead to the exit, struggling with her coat as she does so. He zips up his back and gets up to put on his own, failing to close it himself now when he catches Dana halt the redhead.
Slider in hand, zipper half-way up he stands there frozen on the spot as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. He can't hear what the girls talk about, but he does notice the reaction washing over the redhead's face. The smile she was sporting first fading slowly, and her expression is turning into one of surprise. He gulps once, scraping his throat right after. He doesn't know what Scottie told his girlfriend, but he has a clue as to what it might be.
Snapping out of it then, he fixes his coat and swings his bag over his shoulder. Making his way over to Donna, at last, he remains silent until both of them have exited the building. Harvey bites on his bottom lip and he thinks over the best way to approach the subject, to ask for what was said; without saying too much himself.
"Hey, uhm…"
Donna looks over her shoulder at Harvey, watching him cough once. The way he looks down as he brushes his hand over his chin, he seems nervous, and it catches her attention. Studying him for a moment, she waits for him to continue — something he does without making eye contact.
"Did she say something about – "
She remembers Dana telling her she was glad Harvey finally saw what everyone else saw, but she doesn't think much of it. The meaning or how it Dana said it, this was why they were doing it in the first place. "About what?"
He curses himself at her genuine curiosity, wishing he hadn't brought up the subject at all Harvey also knows there's no way he's getting out of it now. She'll pry and ask him, or someone else will spill the beans, he knows Mike is just as likely to do so.
"About uhm…" he pauses, and he presses his lips into a thin line. Flashing his fake girlfriend a goofy smile and he shrugs. All ways to downplay words he really wishes didn't hold that much meaning or were still true to this day. "The crush I uhm.. I had on you."
"You had a crush on me?" she whispers, still taken by surprise even though their first interactions were him coming onto her. He never denied that, but hearing him phrase it like this isn't something she ever imagined hearing.
"Yeah, but that was a long time ago," Harvey says, running his right hand over the back of his head. He looks ahead again. "So you don't have to worry about that affecting this."
She shakes her head, trying to wrap her brain around what he was telling her. She wasn't worried about it, hadn't even had the time to process it, to even possibly start to worry about it.
He peeks to his left, seeing her still process the news. He feels the need to emphasise it once more. "It's over." The words a lie and a truth at the same time, because it isn't just a crush anymore. Maybe never has been; what she means to him more than a five-letter word. That much he's willing to admit to himself.
"Okay," she says then, responding at last.
He bobs his head up and down at their silent agreement. On one hand glad she isn't pressing the subject any further; on the other hand, her easy dismissal of the issue stings all the same. He can't show that though, showing her his signature Spectre grin before repeating her last word.
"Okay."
.
Wednesday, December 5th, 2018
Balancing three pizza boxes from Giannos in one hand, she tries to reach for her ringing phone from the pocket of her coat as she climbs the stairs. Pausing on the landing to answer the call, she lets out a soft sigh when she sees her mother's face on the callers' ID.
"Hey, mom."
"Hello, honey," Clara's voice comes from the other end of the line. "Is this a good time?"
Donna presses her phone between her ear and her shoulder, holding the boxes again with both hands as she continues her ascend to the third floor. It isn't uncommon for Donna to talk to her mother in front of her friends, but with the act she's performing with Harvey, she doesn't feel like talking to Clara now. "Actually mom," she says. "I was just on my way to –"
"Harvey," Clara fills in for her.
"Mom," her objection comes in a soft sigh, as Donna recognises that tone in her mother's voice.
"I understand, you don't want to say anything yet."
Donna closes her eyes, wills herself to take a deep breath and not let this conversation escalate. "Mom," she tries again. "It's not –" the redhead pauses then, not getting the words out yet not willing to lie to her mother either. She doesn't finish her sentence.
"Okay, honey," Clara says, "just tell me when you're ready. Say hello to Harvey for me."
Donna stalls on the landing of the fourth floor, deciding to round up the call here before reaching his apartment. "I will," she promises, shuffling the boxes to one hand again to end the call and she places her phone on top of the pizzas before finishing the last flight of stairs.
"There you are," Mike calls out when he spots her red hair appearing from his spot on the hallway. "Thought you'd gone to Italy to get them."
She sighs, loudly, this time around and she tilts her head to the side. The look she gives the blond enough to let him know he isn't funny. Pushing the four boxes in his hands, she grabs her phone from on top of them and walks ahead into the apartment, plopping down next to Harvey on the couch.
"Hey, you," he greets her, turning his upper body just so that he's facing her. His smile slowly fades when he notices her restricted reply. The absent look on her face and the eager with which she accepts the pizza when Mike divides the three boxes.
He nods at his roommate when he gets his pepperoni, folding the box open he lets his right ankle lean on his left knee and drops the box down on his lap before taking out the first slice. The first bite always too hot, he uses the moment where he catches his breath to study her again. The way she grabs a slice of her yellow tomato covered pizza, the big bite she takes and the satisfying hum that always follows. He figures then her absent reaction must have been because of her hunger.
By the time the three of them have finished their pizza's, Mike is getting ready to visit his grandmother; he realises it isn't because she still hasn't said a word. He tries to ignore it, at least for now. Focussing on the TV show that was playing in the background and chugging down the remainder of his beer and he waits for Mike to leave to speak up finally.
"You're acting weird."
The truth hits hard, and she freezes on her spot. She knows she hasn't been acting herself, the deal they agreed upon and what it truly means they have to endure catching up with her. It's Harvey admitting to a crush. Something she brushed off right away again, but she had an entire day to think about it, her roommate giving them space so they can spend the night together. It's Dana telling her she's happy for them and then she remembered what Mike told her. And to top it all of it's her mother now thinking something is going on as well.
She shakes her head, physically refuting his words. "No, I'm not."
He sighs and leans forward to place his empty beer bottle on the table. "Yes, you are," he says, "and you said you wouldn't."
Donna draws her bottom lip between her teeth, glances down at her hands folded down on her lap and then sits up straight again. She doesn't apologise, but her eyes say she's sorry all the same. "I know I just uhm… " she says, "I thought maybe it's weird for you."
He thinks about their deal and how it isn't exactly easy to watch every single thing he says or does in front of others, but he doesn't tell her that. It was his idea, after all. "It's not," he says to her, pushing himself up to stand. He walks over to the fridge to grab both of them another drink.
"Look," he says then, sitting down on the back of the couch as she looks up at him. "I wanted to sleep with you, okay. It wasn't feelings or anything. Just thought you were hot."
Feeling a slight blush creep up on her cheeks, she laughs then, shaking her head as she does so. "Okay," she whispers. Him coming on to her, trying to get her to sleep with him, she knew, that she can deal with. She glances up at him once over. "When did that change then?"
He tilts his head to the side and gives her a look of disapproval. "You don't need to fish for compliments," he reasons as he gets back up to round the couch and take his former seat. "You know you're hot."
It wasn't what she was asking, not really, but she takes it. "That's smoking hot for you, Harvey."
He laughs, and she does too, the drinks they have in their hands meeting one another in the air in a silent toast. On their deal, on them. Things are finally feeling like they had always been; normal. Like they agreed they'd remain after a month.
Tanner chuckles to himself, having overheard the redhead's last comeback he slams the door closed behind him, and he walks through the hallway to the shared living room. "Look at that," he announces himself, signalling Donna on the couch next to his roommate. "Started to wonder if dick face over here was making it all up."
"Travis," Harvey grumbly greets his friend, shaking his head at the comment.
"Not everyone has imaginary girlfriends, Travis," Donna fires back, and her comeback results in a laugh from Harvey.
Tanner rolls his eyes and passes by them, doesn't know how she knows about a comment he once made when he was twelve, but he knows she's Donna and isn't to be messed with. So he ignores this particular comment. "At least I touch the girls I'm seeing," he states his observation and motions the distance between them before he walks off to drop his sports bag into his room.
"Fuck," she mouths.
"He knows," Harvey whispers back.
She shakes her head, doesn't believe that to be the case. Just a lucky observation of a moment shared between them, but she isn't willing to give up right now. Not when their entire friend circle has just found out. Not when she's supposed to be the actress and thus she takes a deep breath and shifts over the couch, hitting his arm with a flick of her wrist. He instantly moves his arm to the backrest, creating a space for her to sit.
Donna moves further then, pushing her centre of gravity to the other side, she flips her legs to the right and lets her shoulder meet his chest. It takes moving around three times for them to sit comfortably on the still broken couch. And more so feel comfortable, but eventually, she melts into his side. Her head is resting against his chest as his arm loosely drapes over her back.
"Any pizza left?" Tanner asks when he returns, a bottle of beer in hand he plops down on the armchair. He forgoes, waiting for an answer, pulling all the boxes over the coffee table in his direction and going through them.
.
Yawning and stretching his arms, Tanner lifts his legs from the coffee table. He ignores the ending of the movie they've all seen a couple of times before; Tanner opts for an early night in instead. Collecting the trash from the table, he looks over at his two friends cuddled up on the couch. Both are silently watching the screen; Tanner doesn't miss the content smiles and the way his roommate slowly twirls a strand a red hair around his fingers. A strange sight to behold after watching them dance around something for years.
"Keep it down a bit tonight, will you?"
Donna nearly jumps up at that, her lips parting but it's Harvey who holds her back as he gets up too. "Ooh shut up," he throws back before she can, physically throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her to his bedroom. Both are keeping up with the act and making sure she doesn't blow it by responding to his roommate, Harvey mumbles an apology and tells her he'll sleep on the floor. Pushing the door closed behind him, he places her down and reminds her of what the building is like when she shoots him a questioning look.
It dawns on her then, and her lips slowly part as she goes over it again. "So …" she whispers then, "they would hear it if…"
Harvey nods. "We usually make sure the others aren't there but yeah."
"Right. So he's expecting to …" Donna pauses, finishing the rest of her sentence by pointing at her ear.
"No," Harvey lies, "not necessarily. I…"
"I know your reputation mister," she answers in a beat, a little too harsh if she has to say so herself. It isn't his fault the acoustics of the apartment are that bad, nor is it his fault that Tanner made this specific comment. He's just the only one she can have it out with.
She sees him wanting to respond, also knows the exact rebuttal that's to come. They know each other and their history too well for him not to. But before he can even open his mouth, she cuts him off. "Don't even start that sentence," she mutters.
She turns around, paces back and forth and then coming to a halt in the corner of his room. She spins once more, facing him again. "We'll have to fake it."
"What?"
"Having sex," she deadpans as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.
His breath falters, and he shakes his head as he drops to sit down on the edge of his bed. "Donna."
She mirrors his motion, sliding a knee over the duvet and laying down next to him like they've done a million times before. "You heard him, he already doesn't believe it," she reasons. "If we don't," she doesn't finish that thought, focusing on her idea again. "It would just be sound."
"Sounds?" he repeats.
She bobs her head up and down in agreement. "Yeah, you know. Like in When Harry met Sally." She giggles then, louder than they had been talking before and she says his name next. Voice more horse than usual and he turns to look at her wide-eyed, she flicks his arm with her hand. She is urging him to participate.
"Don… na," he stumbles over her name like never before, and for all his experience, he has absolutely no idea what he's doing in this exact moment. A sentiment that's being emphasised by the look she gives him.
"A. C. T," she mouths once more, pushing herself onto her knees, she crawls over his bed to reach for a pillow. She fakes a moan and flings the object against his shoulder.
"Auh," he reacts on instant even though getting hit by the pillow didn't hurt at all. He changes the sound into something that should resemble a groan when she gives him another look, and he just stares at her dumbfounded.
"Really?" she whispers now, shaking her head, and she laughs again then. Loud enough for Tanner to hear, she uses the pillow to hit him once more.
"Fuck," he growls now, turning around and reaching for the other head pillow from his bed. Copying her and swinging it at her frame, resulting in another round of giggles when he misses her.
"Har…vey, ooh god," she calls out his name in between breaths as she jumps on her feet. Positioning herself on one end of the bed, pillow in her hand to wait for his next attack and what started as a way to act it turns into a wild pillow fight.
The noises that are echoing through the room becoming more natural and genuine sounding the longer the fight continues. It's the ruffling of the sheets, the groans, the name-calling and the sound the shuffling of his bed makes as they jump around; all mixed with laughter. It's Donna who calls out his name once more before surrendering and dropping down on the duvet amid a giggling fit.
He grins broadly, drops to his knees and then lets himself fall on his back next to her. Inhaling deeply, he tries to catch his breath. Exhausted from one of the most innocent activities that have ever happened in his room, he laughs again as he turns to look at her. Neither of them being able to stop laughing.
"I.. " she chuckles again, shaking her head in disbelief. It might have been her suggestion but him acting along wasn't a given. "I can't believe we did this."
"Well," he breathes, bringing one hand up and under his head. "We're also dating so, yeah."
She laughs again, throwing her head back as she does so and she thinks over everything they've done in these past days to get their message across. As weird as some parts were, she still had fun. After a moment of silence, she turns to face him again, a grin plastered on her lips. One that fades away as she yawns and she speaks after. "You can still sleep on the ground, though."
"Really, after the best night of your life?" he says, but he pushes himself back up to sit anyway.
She slaps his pillow against his back once more. "Ooh, I don't know about that," she teases him.
"You came twice."
"I was doing you a favour."
"Right." He rolls his eyes, shifting over the bed to the edge. He stops when she calls out his name, and he looks back at her over his shoulder.
She runs her hand over the spot he'd just rested, tapping against it twice and she pulls the duvet back for him. The smile she gives him enough for him to know she isn't holding him to the promise he made before.
She tells herself it's the right thing to do. It's what they always did, minus the acting session upfront but they promised each other to remain the same, and she's never let Harvey sleep on the ground before. Not even weeks after she'd just met him and she's not going to let him do so now.
In case someone walks in.
It's what they agreed upon.
.
Thursday, December 6th, 2018
And she's glad they did, glad she didn't cave to her second-guessing but kept up the act and let him sleep right next to her when she wakes to the sound of Mike's voice coming from the other side of the room — calling out for his roommate.
"Harvey," she whispers sleepily, placing her hand on his shoulder, shaking it ever so slightly as she tries to rouse him. "Harvey," she says again, just a tad louder this time around when the knocking starts.
"Yeah."
His answer is louder than she expected it to be, and when she hears the doorknob turn, she panics. Shifting the duvet, she moves. Her mind still half asleep it doesn't allow her to think twice as she throws her leg over his frame, a hand falling onto his chest as she has to find her balance. Her face just hovering above his when his eyes finally open, in the exact moment his bedroom door swings open and Mike's silhouette appears in the opening.
"Ooh shit," Mike mutters, taking in the view in front of him. It was just a glimpse, and it's not like either half of the couple hasn't walked in on Rachel and him before but seeing the redhead straddle his friend is enough for him to turn around and pull the door shut after him again.
Tanner snorts at Mike's reaction. "What did you expect."
"I – " Mike says, shrugging cause he isn't certain. As happy as he is for his friends, he hasn't grown accustomed to the new situation yet. "I'm sorry, Donna," he yells then to the closed door, turning around.
"Hey," Harvey calls out then, hearing himself being left out in the equation. He catches her eye soon after, both finally fully awake and she snickers, just like he cracks up at the situation. Harvey exhales again, slower this time, letting his gaze find hers once over.
"Hey," he repeats, softer this time. Just to her, three letters to wish Donna a good morning.
"Hey," she says then too with a soft smile. She lets her hands walk back over Harvey's chest and using the motion to create a little bit more distance between them. Moving back and sitting down at last.
His eyes widen when she does.
A gasp escapes her when she feels it.
A second passes and then as quickly as possible, Donna rolls off of Harvey again, distancing herself from him as much as the bed allows. Harvey does the same thing by moving into a sitting position. Both not facing the other, the silence enhancing a tension neither wants there to be, and they both pronounce the other's name at the same moment.
"Sorry."
It's followed by silence once more until she snickers so softly he doesn't hear it, but she decides it's best to use a joke to ease the awkwardness between them. "I didn't know you had an XS Max."
He can't help but roll his eyes at her comment. It isn't the standard pick up line, but it tells him enough, and it's just characteristically her to include the largest iPhone in her remark. Hidden praise, but he doesn't allow his mind to dwell on that.
"It –"
"It's the morning," she fills in for him.
"Yeah."
"I had biology in high school too, Harvey," she says with a shrug. Telling herself it's no big deal, and it shouldn't be. It's biology; indeed, it probably happened before when they slept side by side and yet a part of her, a small piece of her, is a tad jealous it's just that.
Biology.