hello everyone, thank you so much for sticking around and the support on the last chapter. I feel like I write the same thing every single time about ending this at a different point than I thought I would, but idk I've been kinda feeling down with writing for months and I kept telling myself I'd do that over my holidays but I just couldn't get into it, and now that they're almost over I feel like I haven't really done anything - which is why I've delved into DIY projects last week cause it gave me something tangible of a time spent being creative - and yet it still irks me that I couldn't really move along with this. So I decided to end this chapter a /day\ earlier in the story than intended, so I could at least have something up and maybe it will help with the back to work anxiety I'm experiencing. Anyway, rant over, hope you're all doing okay and here's the next chapter (we are slowly but surely moving towards the end, cause I have it all mapped out). I do hope you'll like it and would love to know what you think. Enjoy - M
MISTLETOE MYSTERY
CHAPTER XV
She spends the duration of the movie sitting next to Harvey, close but not as close as the other night the two of them spend with Mike and Rachel as she isn't ready for the contact that comes along with it. So instead of snuggling into his side, she pulls up her legs and hugs her knees close to her chest.
With the movie nearing its end, she finds herself fidgeting with the edge of her sweater. A gesture done to steady her hands as she mentally prepares for what's to come next, the group going out for drinks a common occurrence and this night isn't any different.
She gets up as well, but declines Sean's invitation with a shake of her head.
Harvey follows her motions with his gaze, nearing the couch he lets his hands rest on the back as his eyes search for hers. Wordlessly asking her what's now. Are you staying over?
Donna feels a shiver run down her spine but she presses her lips together in an apologetic smile and shakes her head once more. Not tonight.
.
Friday, Dec 21
"So," Rachel broaches the subject as she plops down on the couch next to Donna. "You and Harvey had your first fight, huh?"
Donna looks at her friend in confusion.
"Ooh come on," Rachel continues, nudging the redhead's arm with her elbow. "You don't think I didn't notice the sulking, the no name mentions and how last night was the second night in a row you spend alone since you two got together."
Donna opens her mouth to protest but then closes it again, bobs her head up and down in agreement at last. "We're fine," she says. "It was just a little misunderstanding, that's all."
Rachel draws her lips together and studies her friend, hums then instead of pushing further. She knows Donna will come to her when she is ready, she does voice a reminder. "I know you like to solve things yourself, but you do know you can come to me and talk. If you want to, I'm always here for you."
"I know," Donna admits with a wide smile then. She scoots over the couch and envelopes the brunette into a hug. "I love you, Rachel."
Rachel presses a kiss to her friend's cheek, pulling back and placing her hands on Donna's shoulders, looking her in the eye before she speaks. "I love you too, Donna."
.
"Harvey!" Mike yells after his roommate, swinging his backpack over his shoulder, he gives the lady in the study room an apologetic smile as he rushes after his roommate. "Hold up, man," he hisses, a little softer this time as he takes the stairs two steps at a time, he exhales deeply by the time he's caught up with Harvey.
"You okay there?" Harvey asks as he glances at his friend, "you really should join us in the gym some time."
Mike rolls his eyes, ignores the half-hearted insult and simply cuts to the chase. "So what are you doing to make things up with Donna?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Ooh come on," Mike reasons, "you think I didn't notice you sulking around the apartment the other day."
"I don't sulk," Harvey fires back, but it only takes one bob of Mike's head for him to close his mouth and swallow any other comments he had coming.
"As I was saying."
"Who says I haven't made up –" He pauses, a sudden frown forming on his face as a thought crosses his mind. "Wait, did Donna say something to Rachel or?"
Mike presses his lips together, fighting a chuckle. "No she didn't," he admits then, "or not that I know."
Harvey throws his friend an annoyed look when it suddenly dawns on him; this entire conversation isn't actually about Donna or him. "This isn't about us, is it?" he mumbles out loud. "You have no clue what to give your girlfriend for Christmas," Harvey deducts, a laugh escaping him at last.
"She wants us to make each other gifts," he complains. "Make," he repeats, "like actually create something."
"I'm familiar with the meaning of the word."
"Dick," Mike grumbles. "I just, I believe Rachel spend an entire afternoon enlisting Donna's help, so I cannot give her some coupon booklet."
"A what?"
"You know, a coupon for sushi dinner or a movie night, or something," the last added with a shrug. "Point is, that's not it. So what are you giving Donna?"
"What I'm –" he repeats, but he gets cut off by his ringtone. He holds up his hand and fishes inside his coat for his mobile phone. His father's face flashing up on the screen. "Sorry, I got to take this," Harvey says, mouthing that it's his dad as he hits answer.
"Tell your old man I said hi," Mike answers, signalling to the shops with a flick of his hand to indicate he's going ahead with his search for a gift.
"Who called me an old man?" Gordon's voice comes from the other end of the phone and Harvey laughs, shakes his head even if his father can't see it.
"Mike."
"I figured," Gordon answers with a light chuckle. "Are you busy?"
"Nah, just on my way home," Harvey says as he starts to walk again, turning the same right Mike did earlier. His question still at the forefront of his mind, he glances at the displays as he passes a shop. "What's up?"
"Nothing much, just wanted to check in on your plans for Christmas," Gordon starts. "If you're still coming home?"
Coming home.
He lets his father's question sink in for a moment, his gaze locked on an item on display. "Yeah," he mumbles, bobbing his head to the side as a bracelet catches his eye. He sighs then. "I guess, depends –"
There's a pause that follows and Gordon lets it linger for a moment, smiling to himself as he puts two and two together. "You're going to tell her."
Harvey bobs his head up and down, even though his father can't see him but he finds his own reflection smiling back at him in the window display. "Yeah," he whispers then, admitting it out loud for the first time. "I uhm… That's the plan."
"I'm proud of you, son."
Harvey's eyes close at his father's words of approval and it somehow feels like a weight is lifted off of his shoulders.
"And know there will always be a plate for you, or you two here. No need to tell me in advance."
"Thanks, dad."
.
"Come on," Rachel says, grabbing the grey beanie from the dresser as she tosses it across the hallway towards Donna. "Katrina texted me, they're waiting outside. Let's just have a good time tonight, you love this market thing." The latter added with a smile, she leaves the 'everything will be fine between the two of you' unspoken.
She snatches the hat out of the air, crumbles it up in her grasp and stashes it in the pocket of her coat. "Yeah," she mumbles, stealing one last glance in the mirror. She fixes her hair and exhales. "I'm ready," she says, motioning for Rachel to walk ahead.
But the moment her eyes land on him, one hands stuffed in his pockets, the other arm hanging loosely down his frame, head drawn down and shoulders slumped, she realises she isn't. Not really. The events of the last couple of days still very much on the forefront of her mind. She flashes a quick smile at the rest of her friends, acknowledging them with a nod but her gaze drifts off to him once more.
He swallows, draws in a breath and moves his shoe through the snow. Distracting himself with the motion as he keeps his gaze casted down, but he knows she's there.
He always knows when she's there.
"Let's go." Mike bumps his elbow against Harvey's as he walks ahead with Rachel.
Harvey snaps out of his thoughts, peers to the couple walking away first but he doesn't move ahead. Incapable of doing so as if her gaze renders him moot and he slowly turns to face her.
She feels her heart skip a beat the second he lifts his head and his gaze meets hers. Drawing in a breath, she can't help but softly smile at him.
He catches the corner of her mouth tug up and he feels his own automatically mirroring the motion. Lifting his free hand ever so slightly in a small wave, he mouths an "hey."
"Hey," she mutters in return, her fingers moving up and down in a wave. Her feet gradually getting into motion too as she draws near him, gaze remaining locked with his until he moves too.
.
They're walking side by side along the stalls spread out over the square, Alex and Rosalie in front of them, Sean, Katrina, Louis and Tanner right behind them chatting away about the nutcracker.
It has Donna chuckle every once in a while as they discuss plot points, but not enough to join in on the conversation. And apart from the greeting outside of their apartment building, she isn't really talking to Harvey either, but there have been stolen glances back and forth.
A lot of them.
He shuffles his feet through the snow, bumping his shoulder against hers. He flashes her a smile when she peers up at him, they've been doing this every now and then. Silently enjoying being in one another's company as he builds up his courage and waits for the perfect moment.
The weather is mild this evening, barely no wind, the air crisp but no precipitation, but he still removes his left hand from his pocket to envelope hers in his grasp.
She feels her heart skip a beat when his thumb runs over her knuckles, moving his fingers just so that they slip between her digits, she has trouble reminding herself that they're still playing pretend – especially when he smiles at her like that.
So she swings their linked hands back and forth in the decreasing space between them, until their elbows or their shoulders are touching with every other step too and it's just them in their little bubble. Hiding their beaming grins behind scarves and propped up collars as they trail from one stall to the next.
She almost tricks him into buying an ugly Christmas sweater but he gets her a red mug with a quote from Home Alone on it instead. There's a nutcracker with a rather inappropriate joke written over it that has them close to losing their breath.
There's a stall with hats, eyeing the merchandise they don't need or care for, they're still trying them on. The big red hats, the antlers, the ones with beards attached to them and they keep trying them on until there are tears in their eyes from laughter.
Giggles and snorts that only increase when they reach the next stall, one filled with snow globes and with only stealing one glance at one another, they're both turning them upside down, moving from one side of the stall to the middle. Ignoring the disapproving looks of the vendor as they turn row after row.
"Ooh."
Harvey looks to his left, watches the way her eyes light up at the particular snow globe in her hands and he stills his own actions. Placing the globe back, he offers the guy behind the stand a nod and stuffs his hands in the pocket of his coat as he eyes her.
She studies the small orb in her hand, traces the scripture on the bottom with her index finger and quickly moves it upside down until the little snowflakes twinkle down across the tiny iron Eiffel tower. She keeps it in her grasp until all glitters have settled down and then with a heavy sigh she places it back on the stand, and only then, feeling his eyes on her, does she turn to look at him.
He swallows at the sad smile she flashes him and he wants to ask, wants to know where her pain comes from but he knows better than to push her. She never did so with him and he figures she'll share it with him when and if she wants to, so he simply bobs his head to the side, silently asking her if she wants to carry on.
She nods quickly, inhaling deeply through her nose as she pushes the memories away and begins to walk again. Bringing her hands inside the pockets of her coat, she kicks a twig through the snow as he walks beside her until they join the rest of the group near the carollers in the middle of the square.
Rachel greets the two with a smile, tapping Donna's arm with her own and she swings back and forth, mouthing along as they listen to Silent Night. The repertoire changes to the pop classics after that, with Jingle Bell Rock and midway during the song the first complaint about the cold comes from Mike, saying they should go somewhere with heaters for a moment.
A shiver runs down Donna spine, but it isn't the cold. It's the carollers humming the opening tune of 'All I want for Christmas' and Donna looks at Harvey from the corner of her eye, she redirects her gaze to the ground the moment she senses him move.
"I'll uhm... " Donna offers, already turning on her spot. "Go get us a drink."
With a questioning look Rachel watches Donna walk away and peers back at Harvey, but ultimately focuses on the carollers again instead of meddling.
Harvey draws his gaze from her retreating form as the rendition of the song comes to the part where Donna had woven his name into it. He thinks about that night, the way she stood on stage, how his name rolled off of her tongue as she pointed at him. He takes a deep breath, shuffles on his spot as he makes up his mind but he turns around and walks after her at last..
Donna crosses the square, walking ahead to the stalls offering hot beverages when her feet take over and carry her to the stall she's visited every year since that one night. She doesn't fight it, but is hesitant none the less, a lump forming in her throat the second she spots it.
The mistletoe hanging in the corner.
A tiny bundle of leaves bound together by a red ribbon, she stares at it and swallows thickly. The conversation with Rachel not forgotten, she has absolutely no intention of resuming that quest – no matter the state of her relationship with Harvey.
Composing herself, she tears her gaze away from the mistletoe and steps closer to the table. Flashing a smile to the lady behind the booth, she hands her a twenty dollar bill and starts filling ten of the red paper cups.
"Here, let me help you?"
She flinches, dropping the scoop back into the heated pan, a couple of mulled wine splatters hitting her wrist and sleeve. "Crap," she mutters, lifting her arm as she takes in the damage.
He instantly grabs a napkin from the table and brings it to her wrist, dapping the alcohol from her skin. He moves it to the edge of her sleeve. "These stains are a real pain in the arse, you know."
"It's just red wine, a bit of vinegar –"
Harvey chuckles, eyes closing as he shakes his head. He should have known she'd know, he'd been too wrapped up in the moment to care. His coat too dark to find it days later. He wipes the last drop away, his thumb moving over her pulse point and he reluctantly lets go of her as he takes her in.
Things are much different now compared to that one night years ago, and yet some very much the same. He still thinks she's beautiful. "Donna," her name leaves his lips in nervous whisper, and when she lifts her head she's so close, the memories of that moment so vivid, that he finds himself taking a step back.
Her stare darts from his face to the mistletoe hanging two feet behind him and her breath falters, she peers away in a beat. Forcing to compose herself, with trembling hands she reaches for the serving spoon once more. "Did Rachel send you here?" she asks as casually as possible, leaning to the side to place the first cup down, but her heart pounds so quickly and loudly she can barely hear his answer.
He frowns and shakes his head. "No," he answers truthfully, taking one of the cup holder trays from the table, he places the first cup in it. He licks his bottom lip as he draws in a breath, finger tracing the rippled cardboard edge as he searches for the words.
Any words, actually, cause how does one tell your best friend, that you're currently fake dating, that you already kissed. Right in this spot, to be precise. One he actively avoided for years.
Her name is on the tip of his tongue when he catches her fill yet another cup, the motions repeated in silence as he takes each and every cup from her hand to fill the tray. He can't help but notice her stare, one that renders him moot and before he can say anything her attention is back on the glühwein.
She exhales, the warmth coming from the display in front of her almost naught compared to the one she feels forming between them. She keeps her gaze straight ahead, taking an extra step to the left, increasing the distance between them and the mistletoe just a tiny bit more with every cup she fills.
"There," she says, placing the last cup in the holder and she takes one of the trays in both of her hands. Harvey lifts the other one and then the opportunity seems to have gone, he sighs and increases his step to catch up with her.
They walk over to the outdoor seating area where the rest is crammed around a picnic table. Two empty spots left on either outer corner of the bench, and Donna increases her step just a little. Rounding the group to the back end of the table, slipping onto the small spot across Katrina and next to Sean as she places the tray with drinks in front of them.
Harvey draws his bottom lip between his teeth, casts his gaze away and remains on the other end of the table. Handing out the drinks before he sits down next to Mike and Tanner. He greets them both with a toast on the upcoming holidays, raising the glass of mulled wine against theirs before taking a large sip.
He swallows thickly, feeling the alcohol burn in the back of his throat and it momentarily numbs the heavy feeling in his chest. He lets his gaze drift off to the other end of the table when he hears her laugh, he stares at her for a moment. Takes in the way she throws her head back and when she turns to look in his direction he glances at the drink in his hand, swivelling the alcohol around.
Her smile fades slowly as he keeps his head down and looks down at her drink too, noticing the spices circling around in her glass. She realises she must have absentmindedly let it swivel around, bringing it to her lips she takes the last sip of the cooled down wine.
.
The walk back home from the subway is much like the one they had towards the event, silently shuffling through the snow. Ending up right next to one another as the group falls apart little by little, he greets her with a soft "hey," as he nudges her arm with his elbow
"Hey," she mouths back, a smile forming on her lips when he sprints up the three steps to the entrance of their apartment building and opens the door for her. Their hands brushing when she wants to take it over from him, but he remains rooted on his spot, letting her walk in first, before following her up the stairs. His hand hovering behind the small of her back - it never lands there.
She already reaches for her keys with five steps to go, fidgeting with the brown leather key chain as she builds up the courage to stop him from going ahead and climbing another three flights of stairs. His name on the tip of her tongue, she stalls near the front door when to her relief he does the same, his shoulder hitting the doorframe.
He observes her actions, catches the way she fiddles with her keys and then exhales. He wonders for a moment if she's nervous, for the same reason he is or if she's contemplating what they should do next.
She turns the key, pushing the door open, she takes a deep breath and then turns to face him again. A silent question written on his face, she thinks of the conversation she had with Rachel earlier that day and then, bobs her head to the side. Motioning for him to follow her.
He pushes off the wall and struts into the apartment behind her. The night time ritual starting like any other time, he uses the bathroom first while she gets changed. She joins him after in the bathroom and they brush their teeth side by side, often with casual conversation, now just with stolen glances. He leaves her to it in the bathroom and makes his way over to her bedroom, changing into his sweatpants and t-shirt he slides under the covers on his side of the bed.
She joins him ten minutes later, flicking the light off before she turns to rest on her side facing him. Each on their own side, there hasn't been a pillow mountain between in a month but there's a palpable distance between them regardless.
Harvey watches her for a moment, the way she settles in and slides her right arm up to rest under her pillow. He stops her left hand before it slips under the fabric too, fingers sliding over her delicate palm as he reaches for her hand. Running his thumb back and forth over her knuckles, he speaks: "Are we okay?"
She blinks once, eyes their intertwined hands for a moment and nods. "Of course," she whispers. "We'll always be okay."
He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Come here," he whispers then, scooting closer at the same moment she rolls towards his. Her frame curling against his chest as her draws his right arm around her, pulling her even closer and as her head settles on his chest, he presses a kiss to the top of her head.
.
Saturday, Dec. 22
He wakes up a little disorientated, a weight holding him down but soon enough he realises Donna is still curled up in his arms, their fingers intertwined and pressed up against his chest. Her auburn manes are the first thing he sees and tickling his nose from up close but it brings a smile to his face all the same. "Morning."
She stirs a little at his mumbled greeting, her nose scrunching as it runs along his cheek and he creates a little bit more distance between them. She doesn't rouse, adjust a little and turns to curl into his chest even further.
He peers down at the redhead, watches her sleep peacefully for a second and he's tempted to whisper a 'morning' once more but he opts to preserve the moment just as it is. So instead, he carefully slides his arm out from under her pillow, lifting his other as he moves out of the bed.
.
She rolls over, a frown forming on her face as a sweet scent rouses her fifteen minutes later. She blindly maps out the space next to her, his name on the tip of her tongue. She peers one eye open and takes in her surroundings, the empty spot next to her.
"Harvey?"
There's no response and she shifts now, pulling her legs up under her frame as she sits down. She looks around again, ready to get up when the handle of her door makes a noise.
"Stay there," he says, using his elbow and back to push the door open.
"What are you –" the rest of her question dies on the tip of her tongue as her mouth drops in surprise. She eyes him curiously, shakes her head in disbelief as she takes the scene in front of her in; tray in hand, stack of pancakes in the middle and a single flower, no doubt stolen from the bouquet Rachel had bought earlier this week, in a tiny vase in the corner.
She chuckles then, bites her tongue and moves to sit against the bedhead when he motions for her to do so with a bob of his head.
"Morning," he greets her again, his grin turning in a full smirk at her reaction. Savouring every opportunity he gets of surprising her, it isn't often. He places the tray down on the duvet and sits down on the edge of the bed.
She accepts the cup of coffee he offers her, warming her hands around her new Home Alone mug she takes in the warmth and sighs at the sweet aftertaste of vanilla. "This is nice," she whispers, looking up at him from under her lashes as places the cup on her night stand.
He grins, reaches for one of the forks and breaks off a part of a pancake, dips into the bowl of whipped cream before bringing it to his lips. "Mmh," he hums, "delicious if I do say so myself."
"Huhum,." Donna catches herself staring at his lips, the way his tongue darts out after each bite. She shakes her head then, trying to clear her thoughts and she quickly picks up the other fork. "Let me be the judge of that, mister."
He chuckles even before she takes a bite. His eyes are glued on her face, taking in her expressions and he out right laughs when she near moans. "You okay there?" he gloats, broad smirk plastered on his face.
"Shut up, ya filthy animal." She shakes her head, wants to tell him it's terrible but there's no point in denying what they both know to be true. So she simply presses her lips together and pulls a face, reaching forward, she picks a strawberry from the plate.
The rest of breakfast is shared in comfortable silence, she leaves the last two bites for him. Dropping her fork on the tray, she reaches for the red cup from her nightstand once more. Quietly sipping her coffee, she eyes him. "Why?" she whispers then.
He crooks his head, one eyebrow raised as an unspoken question. He speaks regardless. "No reason," he says with a shrug. "Can't I just do something nice."
She hums, but gives him an inquiring look. "Ooh," she mumbles then, a soft laugh leaving her lips, she wipes the back of her hand across her mouth and places the empty cup on the tray. "You're not getting out of ice skating, Harvey."
He scoffs in fake annoyance, raising his hands up in defence. "Who says I was trying to do so."
She bobs her head to the side.
"Donna."
She notices his sigh hidden in the way he says her name, a plea of some sort and a sudden thought daunts on her. "Do you even know how to skate?"
"Of course, I do."
"Lying gets you on Santa's naughty list."
He rolls his eyes and pushes himself onto his feet, he thinks about how they've done nothing but lie for the past month. But he doesn't bring it up, he can't not without telling her most of it wasn't pretend at all.
She frowns at his reaction, swallowing thickly as he doesn't engage with her banter and it brings her back to the one thing they've yet neglected to discuss – how to end this lie.
"Harvey," she whispers, but he's already in the hallway, and there's no response.
.
She pulls on the fingers of her gloves, moving from pinkie to thumb on her left hand, then in reverse with her right. Humming every now and then as she listens to him talk, she looks up and flashes him a smile, anything to convey that she's listening but she can't follow a word of what he's saying.
She's been thinking about the conversation they so desperately need to have all day, and the time left to have it decreases with every hour. She peers down the end of the block, she ice skating rink already coming into sight and with the sleepover tomorrow, the holidays right after, hours are truly only minutes.
"Harvey."
He stops in the middle of his sentence, brows knitting together as he turns to look at the redhead walking beside him. But even though she interrupted him, she's looking straight ahead.
"It's going to be over soon," she says, pausing for a moment but not daring to look at him. "All of this."
His eyes remain on her as he takes in her statement and he hums. "All of this," he repeats, breaking his gaze and he turns to look over their surroundings. The campus, the library on their right, the café they frequent two blocks down from here. He can't help but sigh.
She steals a look in his direction. "You ready for that?"
He takes in a deep breath, looks around the street once more and then turns back to look at her. He nods. "Yeah, it's been good hasn't it."
"Great," she hums, flashing a smile in return but it doesn't really reach her eyes.
"I'm ready to work," he says then and she realises then he interpreted her statement differently than she was hinting at.
"Right," she says, " yeah me too." She peers ahead, pulling on the fingers of her glove once more now that she's confronted with this reality. In half a year they'll be graduated, a whole new world at their feet, ready for them to explore. She hadn't even thought about that yet. "Are you thinking of going back to Boston?"
He thinks it over but shakes his head. "Nah, New York is where's at," he answers in the end, and as he spots Katrina waiting for them in the distance he wonders if he'd be able to get a job at the District Attorney's office; the internship last year had been great or maybe some corporate firm.
Harvey realises then he's never asked about her plans, always assumed she wanted to be here. That she would be here, with him. But just like him she isn't originally from the city and the possibility of her leaving him alone leaves a pit in his stomach.
"You thinking about going back to Hartford?" he asks quickly.
"Broadway is here." And so are you.
He grins then, catches the way she smiles up at him too and both of them nod. Their individual choices logical for their career paths, but the unspoken part means just as much if not more.
"Hey, guys," Katrina waves at the two of them, as Donna and Harvey join Sean, Dana and her in line for the ice skating rink.
Harvey simply nods at all three of them as Donna moves in to give each of them a hug before stepping back and remaining by Harvey's side.
"Is the rest almost here?" Sean asks, running a hand along his arm
"Rachel texted they just left from dinner at Mike's Grandma and should be here under five minutes," Katrina replies, reaching for her phone once more. "Let me call Louis and ask where he's at."
"Let's just move ahead and get in line," Harvey suggest, motioning for the girls to do so with a bob of his head. His hand landing on the small of Donna's back as he urges her to walk.
"Someone sounds excited," Dana teases him.
"Very," he grumbles. He can feel Donna's chuckle reverberate against his chest, but at the same time he feels her left hand reach for his. Giving his hand a soft understanding squeeze as they move another step ahead.
They're joined by Mike, Rachel and Louis a couple of minutes later. The three striking up a conversation with Harvey but the latter doesn't stray from Donna's side. In fact, when he notices her shiver he steps even closer, wrapping his arms around her as he hold her firm against his chest.
She shivers again, not because of the cold this time but his touch. It's just a moment, a second, before she relaxes into his embrace and laughs at Rachel's story as they move to the entrance, paying their submission.
"Do I really have to do this?" he mutters into her ear, as they come to a standstill at the benches. His grip on her loosening.
She chuckles, turns around and steps out of his embrace with a simple nod. "You promised," she reminds him as she sits down and removes her shoes. "But you can hold my hand if you're scared."
He scoffs, says he isn't scared but just doesn't like it. He moves ahead and reluctantly grabs a pair of skates from the shelve and moves back to sit down next to her, but he finds the seat empty.
"Here," she calls for him, leaning on the banister separating the rink from the seating area. "Come on, hurry up."
"Yeah, yeah," he calls back, pulling on the lace of his shoes, kicking them off one by one as he moves to put on the skates. Wiggling his ankle with the skate he gives her an apologetic look, taking every opportunity to stall – making sure the rest of the group is out of sight. "I think there's something wrong with these –"
Donna catches the way his argument falls silent, his movements along with it and when she follows the way his head nods, she spots a blonde girl greeting him as she passes by. Her brows furrow and she focuses on him again, noticing the way he's still pulling on his skates, but instead of giving him instructions she blurts out her first thought. "Who was that?"
He gives the clip a final slap, curiously peering up at her as it clicks shut "Ooh," he mumbles, it takes a moment to realise who she's referring to. "She was in my criminology class last semester."
Donna hums, draws her bottom lip between her teeth as she turns to look over her shoulder. Eyeing the blonde, she observes her skating around with her friends for a moment but doesn't get the chance to comment or inquire further on his answer, because when she turns to face him again he's on his feet and making his way to the border. She extends her hand to take his, but his pride stops him from taking it.
He sets one foot on the ice, holds his breath and then slowly brings the second onto the slippery surface. He remains standing and that is a miracle and a relief in itself, he glances at Donna and simply nods before setting off. The first slide somewhat okay, the second makes him look like Bambi on ice and he clings onto the siding for dear life.
Donna bites down on her bottom lip, doing her best to stop herself from smiling as she watches his feet give way and he's hanging sideways against the banister. It's enough to make her forget about the blonde and she sets off and skates around him, simply coming to a halt.
"You okay there?"
His jaw sets and he clenches his teeth but he hums regardless of the death traps bound towards his feet. He avoids her gaze and keeps his straight ahead, pressing against the border with his right hand, he tries another time. Moving two feet, his hand ghosting above the border as he moves.
Donna skates backwards next to him and when he hangs onto the edge again after losing his balance once more, she only has to give him one pointed look for him to come clean.
"Fine," he mutters. "I can't skate."
Donna holds back from muttering her catchphrase, merely skates around until she's right in front of him. A soft smile gracing her face, she silently extends her hand.
He takes a deep breath and reaches forward, letting go of the siding at the same time, which is a mistake as he instantly loses his balance and he manoeuvres towards the border once more. Clinging onto it with his elbow, the look he shoots her screaming 'are we done now'.
Donna chuckles. "We've only been on the ice for five minutes," she reasons. "We rented these for an hour."
"An hour?"
She nods, looks to the side and sees everyone else having fun on the ice. Katrina twirling around, Sean, Tanner and Alex having joined some other guys in a game of hockey and Louis skates towards them in that moment.
"Harvey are you okay?" he asks.
"Just peachy," Harvey snaps.
Donna moves her hand to covers Harvey's, squeezing it softly, she offers Louis a big smile and simply waits for their friend to move along. "You know, you could have just said you don't know how to skate."
"As if you would have let me sit this out."
She opens her mouth to protest but stops herself from doing so when she figures he is right. She would have dragged him to the ice and begged him to try. "I could have gotten you a chair," she offers next. "Do you want me to grab you a chair."
"Don't you dare."
Donna moves closer, turns both of her hands open right in front of him. Once more asking him to follow her lead. "Do you trust me?"
He looks down at her hands and back up at her, only giving in when she bobs her head to the side. He slowly moves his glove hand to hers, palm to palm and her fingers folding around his wrists.
"I've always known I can trust you."
There's something about the way he phrases his answer that makes her swallow, her grip on his hands increasing because she feels the same and yet she softly shakes her head, as if she isn't sure about the statement.
Harvey catches up on the hint of confusion from the way her eyes gloss over, his lips twitch into a soft smile. He nods then to confirm his earlier statement, adding another to explain. "It's why we work."
She sets off then, skating backwards slowly and pulling Harvey into motion with her. His slides mirroring hers as they move around the edge of the ice skating rink, slowly picking up a little pace as Donna glances over her shoulder every now and then. She spots Mike and Rachel moving around in the distance.
"You trust Mike and Rachel."
It's a thought that crosses her mind and she only realises she's said it out loud when his next answer makes the butterflies she's been so desperately trying to keep at bay set loose again.
"But with you it's different."
His words reverberate through her so intensely that she momentarily freezes up and misses a step at that, the nose of his skate hitting hers and they stumble a little. He grabs onto her hands firmer as he gasps.
Donna corrects her misstep in a beat, keeping both of them upright. She gently pulls him ahead, skating along the edge of the rink for two full circles as he gets more comfortable on the ice. By the time they pass the rental booth again, Donna slows down a little, silently asking if he's ready to let go of her hands.
He ends up letting her left hand go, but turns her right one over so their fingers intertwine. Harvey glances to the side and gives her a small smile; a relieved sigh following when he remains standing on both of his feet.
They make another round along the edge. It no looks like he hasn't got a clue on what to do, now they simply look like a couple slowly strolling along and holding hands. He also knows she wants to see him do this all by himself before they have to leave.
He squeezes her hand, wiggles his fingers free and when she turns to look at him he just nods, telling her he'll be okay. And the smile that automatically forms on her face is definitely worth risking his life for.
Harvey moves ahead, sliding his right foot to the front, then the left. Moving along for a couple of slides as she follows him closely. He actually surprises himself and wants to show her he's doing okay, turning to look over his shoulder he moves his hand up in the air. Ready to throw her a thumbs up when his skate moves over a bump in the ice and he loses his balance then.
"Donna, help!" he yells.
She's near him in a second, her hands reaching out for his elbows. Stabilising him a little, but his stumbling is too much for her to counter as they both tumble down onto the ice. Harvey's body bracing hers from the cold ice as she falls on top of him, her chin hitting his shoulder, he hears a soft grumble leaving her lips and his eyes flicker open.
"Are you okay?"
She groans, lifts her head and nods. "Yeah, are you?"
He hums, lets his eyes dart over her face. Checking for any sign of harm, he slowly lifts his gloved hand to her face, pushing a strand of hair away and tucking it behind her ear.
Any pain she may have felt disappears when his hand remains there, slowly tracing the shell of her ear as his eyes lock with hers. She swallows thickly when she notices him doing the same.
The tension between them has been palpable for days, it increases by the second and she becomes aware of their proximity when she feels his warm breath against her lips. Instinctively she presses her hand down on the ice, to create a little bit more distance between them, but it slides away and only brings her face closer to his.
Noses almost brushing
He draws in a breath when her frame crushes his once more, but all he manages to do is glance down at her lips. They're slightly parted and it makes him wet his own. "Donna."
"Donna!"
It's her name again, but not his voice this time around. He hears his own name next and then the sound of skates coming to a quick halt right beside them, and Donna is pulled off of him next – their moment destroyed.
"Are you two okay?" Katrina asks, extending her hand to Harvey as Sean holds Donna up by her elbows, asking her the same thing.
"I'm fine," Harvey grumbles, fighting Katrina and Tanner's grip on his arms. More out of principle because he's pretty sure he'd be down on the ground in a second if they let go. "Just want to get off these death traps."
Sean frowns, steals a glace back and forth between the couple and Donna presses her lips into a thin smile to assure him they're fine. He looks over his shoulder then, whistling once to signal Louis, Dana, Mike and Rachel. "We'll get some hot chocolate and call it a day," he says, guiding Donna back to the entrance of the rink.
Katrina pulls a blanket from the basket for both Donna and Harvey, the latter reluctantly accepting the way the blonde drapes it over his shoulders but he's too wired up to fight it.
Changed back into their snow boots the group moves from the benches near the rink down to the covered section in the back where the heaters are on. Donna slides down the wooden bench first, moving into the corner as Harvey does the same opposite of her.
He watches her, observes the way she clings onto the blanket and brings it up to her chin with one hand. He trails his gaze down, resting at her lips once more he looks at her other hand then, resting on the table in front of him. "You really okay?" he asks, his fingertips gently brushing over the back of her hand.
Donna's eyes immediately dart to their hands, she feels her chest heave and her throat dry up again. Just like earlier on the ice. She's fine, physically, but her emotions have been on a roller coaster ride these past days – from realising she's in love with him, to coming to the conclusion all they'll ever be is friends. His actions this last day in particular is making that last one a hard one to remind herself of.
Her lips pressing together in a thin line when he turns over her hand and runs his thumb over her palm, she whispers: "I'm fine."
.
I'm fine.
We're fine.
She repeats the short sentences over and over in her hand as she quietly moves the toothbrush back and forth; absentmindedly staring into the big mirror until he comes into frame and her heart skips a beat.
I'm fine.
Donna looks down, stares at the sink and continues brushing her teeth. Trying to ignore the way he moves closer, standing next to her and she catches the way his hand reaches for his toothbrush from the holder on the sink. The squirt the toothpaste makes as he pushes it out of the tube, the only sound in the room.
She keeps her head low but peers up to the mirror, catching his eyes on her through the reflection, and when he smiles she feels her cheeks flush. Diverting her gaze, she opens the tap and cleans her toothbrush.
"I'm just," she starts, pointing over her shoulder towards his bedroom. She doesn't finish her sentence but moves out of the bathroom and into his bedroom quicker than usual.
When Harvey returns to his bedroom, he finds the lights dimmed par a lamp on his bedside table. It's just enough to make out her form, curled up under the sheets already. He rounds the bed, moves under the covers and turns off the light before turning onto his side to face her.
She feels his knees brush against hers and her eyes flicker open and even in the dark she knows they lock with his because she feels it in her entire body. A simple shiver starting at the back of her neck, trailing down to her toes and when she senses his gaze dropping to her lips, it's like they're back on the ice.
Back to that moment, their moment.
She feels her tongue dart out, wetting her lips – her mind at war with her body, because even though she knows she shouldn't she aches for his touch; longs for his hands on her skin and his taste on her lips.
She can barely see, but she can make out the way his eyes darken - a confirmation that he's just as affected as she is. That he feels this spark, this burning desire between them too.
We're fine now.
We'd be fine if we crossed that line.
She swallows then, her mind races over one thought after the other as she feels him shift, the tip of his nose brushing against hers.
Her eyes closing even before she breathes the words: "We shouldn't."